So, I've been catching some slack from my man Felber.  I packed it in Saturday and snuck over to the local tat shop.  Now, before you say it, yes, I live in town - actually own property in a town - where there is more than one tattoo parlor.  We are not wealthy folk in these here parts.  Anyway, I had a friend design me a tribal armband tat - so I'm the only one with this particular design.  It took a good 4-hours to get the work done and I gotta say, it felt about like I imagine having to cut off your own arm with a dull pocket knife.   Getting  back to the story at hand, Felber decides it's a good idea to hassle old Mo about "conforming" and asking me to what tribe I belong.

 

Um, we are the Noassatall people of Central New England.  

 

So, I'm not entirely sure I know what to talk about today - I mean it's not my usual shtick to actually have something to say on Tuesdays.  I suppose I could discuss my theory on what actually happened to Tiger Friday Morning, but I think I would rather talk about the story the tattoo artist told me about the well-heeled gentleman who arrived one day in a fine automobile and expensive couture who came in, flopped his junk on the table and wanted it done up like a tiger.  Now, I can tell you, if that soft, squishy part under my arm made me question some life choices, I really want nothing to do with getting the junk tiger-striped.  I mean, hey, if you've got enough to take it in and flop it out, I'm saying more power to you, but not this boy.  I mean, let's just call it straight up - I'm not just a member of the Noassatall people...  One thing that Major League Baseball and the Cleveland Indians can say, though, is that the well heeled gentleman who arrived at that Tat shop was not Grady Sizemore.  Nope.  No tiger stripes there.  I just hope for his sake that he lives up to his surname.  Gotta say, all of a sudden the expression "tea bag" takes on a stark, and frankly disturbing meaning.  But as a member of "the Tribe," he gets mention here.

 

Fortunately, however, I am not among the Nojobatall tribe.  This group tonight includes Charlie Weis, former Head football coach of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish.   Weis has more than a couple of Super Bowl rings, but just couldn't get it done at ND, prompting the question if there may be something to "the Irish curse."  With 6-years left on his contract, ND will likely be paying him not to coach longer than they actually paid him to coach.  Lawrence Frank has lead the New Jersey Nets to an 0-16 start and as a matter of course has also joined the tribe - of course the induction ceremony included another loss to mark the occasion.  To the other end of the spectrum, Bobby Bowden will voluntarily join the Nojobatall when he announces his retirement today.  34-years and the second winnest college coach in history behind Joe Pa.  

 

Among the local tribes, the Nocashatall include a man from Taiwan who was robbed of his recent cash withdrawal at the hands of masked and armed bandits - a tidy $2Million.  I don't carry $10 around with me, and this doofus decides to take a stroll with 900,000 Starbucks ventis.   It's hard to say either Rasheed Wallace or Serena Williams are among the notorious Nocashatall, but certainly they're among the Lessdoughforme after each was fined for things they had to say: Wallace is $30-Grand lighter after criticizing the refs (whether or not they actually deserve to be criticized) and Serena is putting down a pretty fine house downpayment after being fined better than $80-Grand for her US Open tirade.  Who says talk is cheap?  Better not get either of them an "Ooma" - you can have two talkings going on at the same time.  

 

As a final shout out for the replacement Tuesday column, make sure you Check out last Friday's Roundtable for details on this years Festivus Awards.   We need everyone's participation to make this years Festivus awards a success!  Re-read your favorite blog entries from the past year, recall your most loathed event and let me know!  Send an inbox message through 'Gab Mail, email me at mo@morrisseyweb.com or post a comment to the roundtable.  We need all the voices!

 

Thanks for your time today, folks.  I'll be seeing you Friday, unless Harry wants to cough up some Snickers bars and a case of Fred in which case I'll see you at some other point.