Hello and welcome to another Wednesday of deep thoughts. When you read this I will be wandering somewhere in the brush of South Texas. It has been years since I have had the chance to hunt down south and I am excited to be able to take a couple of days and get away from the city. Hopefully, I will have a safe hunt and be back with a few pictures next week. I did not mention it last week, but I was fighting off a case of shingles. I noticed a patch of bumps on my forehead, but did not think anything of it. During the day, the bumps gathered momentum, so I headed to the Dr.  He took a look and said it was shingles? What? Yep, if you had chicken pox as a kid, you can get shingles as an adult. What a crappy deal, the entire left side of my head was so sensitive, it hurt to shampoo my hair. I did find out that you can get a shingles shot...I would highly recommend it!

By now, everyone will have covered Sunday's games. But I feel compelled to say congrats to Patriots and Giants. Both games were hard hitting affairs that tested each winner. It is no stretch that the winners could easily have been sitting on the losing side of the field. A horribly yanked field goal and an inexperienced punt returner will leave the Ravens and 49ers to imagine what might have been. I hate losing, but when you lose a game you could have won, it is difficult to get over. It is probably easier for the 49ers as they were not expected to be there and have a bright future, but they could have won. The Ravens...are a different story. Joe Flacco really did not play poorly, but the fact is he will have to answer questions about not winning; again. Is this fair? Of course not, but until he wins a SB, he will hear the critics say he can't win the big game.

I guess this Super Bowl matchup will make the NFL suits happy. The "experts" will talk about Brady and Belichick winning another championship or they will talk about Eli passing his big brother in SB wins. The truth is that Brady did not play that well against Baltimore and his path does not get any easier with the Giants pass rush. I suppose that the Patriots will be a slight favorite, but I am not so sure. The Giants have a great pass rush to go with a potent offense. The Giants will have to outscore the Pats, and I am not so sure that they won't. I have not been an Eli Manning fan, but he seems to play his best in big games. Many laughed earlier this year when Eli said he considered himself to be one of the best QBs in the league. But with his play this year, he has a valid point. I had Eli as my fantasy QB a few years ago and developed a strong dislike for what he did not do for my team. As much as I hate to say it, the guy can play the position, especially this time of year. 

Tom Brady annihilates mediocre teams, but seems to have problems against good defenses. When the Giants beat New England in their last Super Bowl matchup, the Patriots were the better team. Save for an acrobatic career catch by an average receiver, the Giants would not have beaten the Patriots. Earlier this season, the Giants beat the Patriots without Hakeem Nicks. Welker and Gronkowski were terrific, but the Giants still won. Can the Pats defense stop the trio of Giant receivers? The Patriots defense came to play last Sunday and I suspect that it will take a season best performance for them to beat New York in a couple of weeks. By the way, Vince Wilfork is truly a beast.... 

Like most of you, I wish the Super Bowl was next weekend. Two weeks to hype this event just sucks, but what can you do? 

Hopefully Steven Tyler will not be asked to sing the SSB at the Super Bowl. Was it just me or did Tyler struggle to sing the anthem? This is a judge of American Idol? I know that this song tests the range of many, but damn...

Joe Paterno died on Sunday. So much has happened since last November, that it is difficult to imagine exactly what his passing means. I have never been crazy about Joe Paterno, but I always respected what he stood for. Sadly, this is no longer possible. Many will always remember that Joe did nothing to stop a predator that resided within his program. This is the truth and there is no arguing this reality. There is something that gnaws at my core, however. Joe Paterno gave years of wonderful service to Penn State and college football. Many great young men attended Penn State and learned strong values from Joe Paterno. The values that Joe preached are important for college men to hear. With Joe's passing, I do not find joy or satisfaction; I find only sadness.  I fear the passing of Paterno is a loss of something much larger than this man. What I suspect is that with Paterno's death, we will no longer have a college coach that teaches the right way. College football has become exactly what Paterno dreaded it would. This regular Joe was simple man with a terrific message about life for his players. It is too bad that when faced with a terrible situation, that Joe could not practice what he preached...so to speak. Sadly, history cannot reflect Paterno's contribution to college football; his mistake will be all that we remember. 

I am not much for basketball, but this video deserves a nod:

With the Pacers out of town, they thought it might be a good idea to have their mascot (Boomer) visit an area high school game. Boomer did his half time thing, but the result left officials wondering how to finish the game. Luckily, there was an smaller gym nearby to finish the game.

Monday night was the football banquet for the Westwood Warriors. This is the end of the careers for most of the Westwood seniors. It is strange to realize that my son is now a football senior...one more year and he will be done. Guys, I can't lie...that last game will be tough. I will be doing a bit of speaking at the banquet, I will be telling this joke:

A friend of mine has fanily that live outside of New Orleans. Her uncle is a police captain in this town and she told me a story recently. There had been rumors of illegal rooster fighting going on, so the captain sent his best two detectives to investigate; Boudreaux and Thibodaux. A few days later, his detectives came back to tell their captain what they discovered. Well captain, they is three main groups involved with this illegal rooster fighting: Dey is tree main groups involve in dis rooster Fightin", he began.

You may have heard that everything is bigger in Texas? I could not believe this when I caught it on the news tonight:

That is all I have for this week, but I will leave you with a bit of Jack Handey to chew on:

The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?          

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.          

Thanks for stopping by and feel free to leave a few deep thoughts of your own...

According to CBS Sports, and several other sports outlets I'm not going to look up because I'm lazy (The only reason I'm even mentioning CBS Sports is because they sent me the email alert -- so they get the props.), the Tigers have agreed to terms with free agent 1B Prince Fielder for a contract reportedly worth $214M over 9 years. (Detroit restaurant owners collectively are pleased with this development.)

I don't know how much truth is in the amount of money and/or years, or if Fielder even signed with Detroit at all -- after all, CBS did report that JoePa was dead when he wasn't dead -- but since other news sources are talking about it and it's all over the place on Twitter, it must be true. (And about Twitter: Does everyone really have to tweet every fucking thing at the same time? My God, there's no need for 15 updates at one time on one news event people. It's okay if all of you don't re-tweet everything that happens during the day.)

Congrats to the Tigers and to our resident Detroit membership here at The Gab -- The Brothers Patton and Stormin' Norman -- for landing the second biggest fish in the pond (Metaphorically speaking, anyway. If we're being literal, then you got the biggest fucker out there. Congrats.)

I'm glad that Fielder is going to a team not named the Yankees or Red Sox (not that they need him anyway) and the Braves fan in me is glad that he's not going to the Natinals. The NL East is going to be tough enough as it is, so we don't need the Natinals to have one more player that gets them closer to contention.

In all seriousness, this is a great move for Detroit so long as they can figure out a way to have both Fielder and Cabrera on the field at the same time. My theory is that they will probably just move Cabrera back to 3B, which will work out great in balancing out the weight transfer on the field from the added poundage that Fielder is going to bring to the right side of the infield. 

Really though, this move does make sense for Detroit, who were struggling to find a sufficient replacement in the offense for Victor Martinez who is slated to miss most of -- if not all of -- the 2012 season after suffering a torn ACL while working out in preparation for Spring Training. The Tigers not only replaced V-Mart, but they got someone who's much better than what they had. Good for them. My prediction is that this signing will help the Tigers continue their domination of the AL Central division, and will give them an upper hand in representing the AL in the World Series over the next 5 years, until Prince gains about 100 lbs. and can't do anything but swing the bat at fastballs anymore.

If it comes out that this signing was indeed a hoax, I'll retract this report after I say about fifteen Fuck CBS's and mutter something about why the hell I wasted my time with this story in the first place, but until then it appears that Detroit needs to double up their food supply before big boy makes it into town.

Gabbers, family, and friends strap in because I’m going in a different direction this week.  Yeah, I’ll talk about sport, but before I get into whatever it is I’m trying to say, I had the pleasure of reading storminnorman’s blog/discussion regarding guitar solos.  Beeze and others had turned me on to Zakk Wylde (who up until last week I had never heard of).  But I wanted to show one other who I had been impressed with:

Jeff Healey was an incredible talent who left this Earth far before his time, and although outside of my usual musical taste, every once in a while I enjoy checking out some of his music.

While I’m at it, I can’t believe I forgot one of the best ever, B. B. King:

Welcome to the tantrums, where I don’t give a damn about the NFL Conference Championship games or anything else in sports right now, I am outraged and not willing to take it anymore.  I have found my purpose in life and after you read my rant, I know that you Gabbers will be ready to join me in my struggle.  

Rant of the Week – Canyon School District, Utah.  Get this, a new high school is opening up in 2013, and the prospective students were given the opportunity to vote on their mascot.  The kids innocently enough I believe voted for a Cougar, perhaps based on nearby BYU.  Well, guess where this story goes?  Yep, the kids can’t use that nickname because stupid politicians believe that the term “Cougar” carries and ugly connotation that is disrespectful to women according to a principal there. 

You know what Principal, you’re absolutely right – and you have inspired me.  For 47 years, I have looked for a purpose in life - and now I’ve found my calling.  I cannot in all good conscience sit on the sidelines and allow this travesty to continue.  I’ve had enough of this and I’m not gonna take it anymore.  Screw the tea parties and occupy movements, I am going begin a movement known as the “UGLY CONNOTATION IN SCHOOL MASCOTS POLICE”! 

My first act in this crusade - On principle, I am going out to South Dakota and pull my son out of the University of Sioux Falls (A Christian University, by the way!) because their mascot (Cougar) is disrespectful of women.  I’m going to go right up to that school and tell them to take their scholarship and shove it.  I will not allow Jerry to be brainwashed into this blatant and obvious degradation of women! 

But you know what, I’m not stopping at Cougar!  Let’s eliminate any mascot name that can be linked to cats because we all know that any reference to cats has an ugly connotation to a part of the female anatomy – you know as in P***y cats!  That is so offensive to me!  It took every fiber in my being to put that word on here.  Don’t you dare make me do it again!

Since we're dealing with mascot names with ugly connotations, let's remove these:

Mustangs – Has a connotation related to the Mustang Ranch in Nevada, a cathouse (oops, that’s a PC violation too – guess I should have said “house of ill repute”).

Buffalos – Has a negative connotation concerning thick women.

Jaguars – Has a negative connotation concerning the spoils of the rich (think driving Jageewires the car!)

Giants & Titans – Has a negative (and perhaps false?) connotation to male anatomy size.  I’m offended.

Cowboys – Because Cowgirls aren’t included.

Buccaneers and Raiders – Because it’s offensive to those with one-eye.

Saints – Because they are blaspheming.  Who in New Orleans is Holy?

Browns – An ugly connotation that they play like shit.  On second thought, I might not fight that one…

Bears – Negative connotation to hairy men!  Since we’re being PC here, I’ll let you all take that one step further…

Packers – I’ll let you figure that one out how that's offensive.

Red Wings – This has an ugly connotation and I’m offended by this team name!

Canucks – Negative connotation to the great Canadian people. 

Brewers – Ugly connotation towards that which glorifies beer consumption.  We can’t have that.

Rangers – Offensive to the GREAT Chuck Norris.

Oilers – Ugly connotation honoring those greedy nasty Oil barons who destroy the environment.

Flames – Ugly connotation when used as an adjective in front of a description of a certain group of people.

Ain’t being PC great?  Does my idea sound silly?  It makes about as much sense as those idiots in Utah, eh?  Perhaps these freaks would do well to realize how silly their ideas sound.  Can we please instill some common sense into our leaders?

NFL.   I have hated Eli Manning (and his dad Archie) since he manipulated his crying ass right out of San Diego, that will never change.  But let me tell you, this guy took an ass-whooping and kept on coming.  He's truly become a great QB. 

Here’s the funny part, the Patriots continue to win and yet I never hear a backlash, I wonder why?  Could it be because they don’t talk, they just go out and win.  Dallas and NYJ – do you see what keeping your traps shut and focusing on team football can do?

Hey 49er fan, when I said to be more passionate, that didn’t mean for you to go all gangsta.  How ridiculous have you been throwing beatdowns on opposing teams fans, and now threatening the life of Kyle Williams?  You are a bunch of scumbags.  To borrow a line from Sam Wyche – ahem – 49er fans represent San Francisco, not Oakland, act right!  Jesus, you morons take all the fun out of claiming to be a 49er fan.  To have to defend your actions just flat out sucks.  In fact, YOU SUCK!

OK, I’ve had some time to think about it.  Kyle Williams made some bad mistakes that cost the team ten points, but he manned up and faced the media like I asked.  My niece pointed out to me (rightly) that the offense didn’t conduct a third down until overtime.  That’s probably even worse, definitely unacceptable.  Oh, and to those who went on Twitter and wished death on Williams - you are lame!  What I said on Facebook last night was bad enough, but you internet tough guys are despicable little d-bags.  Just stay in your mother's basement, you twisted little trolls.

Finally before I forget, Happy Australia Day to the boys down under on Thursday.  This just means that we're starting to get close to Australian Rules Football.  Haven't heard a rant from the Angry Aussie lately, and that might be a good thing.  

You bet your bottom dollar that these are not the last trophies that they want to be holding... Pats owner Robert Kraft holds the AFC Trophy while Giants owner John Mara and QB Eli Manning examine the NFC trophy...Nice Baubles to be sure but its the solid silver football named after Lombardi that each of them want to be holding in Indy in two weeks time.

Greetings from the Hoodwood, where the locals are still debating if the flags should be lowered for JoePa...

And Then There were two.

Indy isn’t too far from the hoodwood, I can leave my house and be in front of Lucas Oil Stadium in about 100 minutes. The dream of every NFL player is to get to this point. Some like Tom Brady have been there often. Some like his underused teammate Chad Ochocinco may play a whole career as a star in one city and never get close, yet play sparingly in another city and have a shot at something that so few players get. There are two teams left, and they are headed to the biggest game of the year. The Super Bowl

The Pats went to the wire dealing with a bruising Ravens squad and escaped with a 23-20 decision to go to their 7^th Super Bowl and 5^th in the Brady-Belichick era. The Patriots salad days have been because of a 6^th rounder and a coach on his second go-round, the other parts have been interchangeable from the running game to receivers to defense to even the stadium. But the QB and coach have been the constants in one of the best teams in the NFL over the past decade. Also, can we please please please start giving Ravens QB Joe Flacco some much needed dap? Flacco did nothing but get um flak from the so-called experts who continue to knock him and his playing ability. He outplayed Tom Brady Sunday, yes he did. Flacco threw for better than 300 yards, and were it not for Lee Evans showing why the Bills gave him the gate, Billy Cundiff would not start being metaphor for gaffled kicks and Flacco would be a celebrated hero as one of the few that took Brady down in the playoffs. The Pats much maligned defense did just enough to get the win. Vince Willfork (where has this guy been all season?) played like a possessed man, making tackles belting Flacco and cause enough havoc to get the Pats the win.  Watching the end of the game, I honestly thought that the Ravens would go for the knockout late and the win and the Anquan Boldin seemed to keep making catch after clutch catch. But the Pats head to Indy after dodging a kill shot by the Ravens.

The G-Men are like that lop eared mutt, messy ungainly and rough around the edges. My man Jonesie openly despises Eli Manning. He used words like overrated, whiny ass and punk bitch in describing the laconic Giants signal caller. The younger Manning seems to rub most fans outside of Gotham the wrong way. Not glamourous like his older brother, Eli looks like a mutt and a goober. The problem with the assessment is that he wins and takes and ungodly amount of punishment doing so. Ive rarely seen a QB stand in the pocket,  get hit like he does yet seem to get the ball where he is supposed to get it to. In the the NFC title game against the Niners Manning just seemed to get the job done. I know, he has the pedigree of Brady but doesn’t look the part. He has the grit of a Flacco but doesn’t have an up from nowhere story. He’s a top draft pick like Alex Smith  but thru the orchestrations of his daddy, never had to really face tough adversity. New York’s notoriously fickle and harsh fans notwithstanding. So Manning has taken more shit for who he isn’t than any quarterback, but dig this. If he comes out on top he will be only one of 9 quarterbacks to have led his team to multiple Super Bowl wins and separate himself a great deal from his more celebrated brother. In any case, the Giants had to battle not only a game Niners squad but a hostile environment in crowd and weather.  A game for grinders, the first half was marked by sluggish play interrupted by a burst of lightning. Vernon Davis got loose on a sideliner and raced 73 yards for a score in the 1^st and again dented the end zone with a 28 yard score in the 3^rd, this sandwiched around a Manning touchdown pass to McKenna “Bear” Pascoe (Pascoe’s first TD) and a field goal. The score 14-10 going into the 4^th was a portent of my own prediction of a tight taut game. But you knew something was bound to turn it. Kyle Williams made the mistake of getting to close to a punt in the 4^th and it brushed his knee enough for the Giants to pounce and cash in. Manning to Manningham gave the G-Men the lead in the 2^nd half. The Niners tied it late and with no late scoring the game went to OT. The whole possibility of a controversial OT ending died when both teams traded punts.  The Giants 2^nd punt of the OT was the turning point when Kyle Williams fielded this punt and had the ball punched out of his grasp. The G-Men used their oft-maligned running game to pound the ball close and for the second time in 4 years Lawrence Tynes sent a hostile crowd home sad with a field goal. This one much shorter at 31 yards and we now have the first Super Bowl rematch since the Cowboys and Steelers in Super Bowl 30. Of course I’ll preview it but not now…The preview comes next week with the college finale and the first Spec Sheet.

Joe Paterno 1926-2012

Joe Paterno passed away Sunday at the age of 85. Paterno will forever be linked with the one school he coached Penn State. His 409 coaching wins and 46 coaching seasons are D-1 records that will never be broken.  I can name on one finger anyone that I know that worked at one company as long as Joe Paterno was the head coach of Penn State. My Grampy worked for Ford for 47 years and if you want to get real technical Paterno started at Penn State as an assistant in 1950, 2 years before my Grampy started at Ford and coached 12 years past my Grampy’s retirement.  The numbers just boggle the mind.  The countless young men that donned the simple blue and white unis of Penn State and came out of Happy Valley will speak reverently of Paterno and by and large he was a good man, a man of character and a man of principle. But it will be the sad coda of which his career at Penn State ended, under cloud of scandal, ignorance and coverup that may be the legacy that many may remember him.

Myself, I was never a big Penn State fan. They were too boring for me. I thought that  their fans were too snooty and were a public school version of another school I despised Notre Dame. Joe Paterno was the coach with the pop-bottle glasses that never sounded like he was very happy with his team. I especially grew to loath Paterno after the Nittany Lions hung an 81-0 decision on my school in 1991. Paterno said with shrugged shoulders that he wasn’t trying to run up the score that he was just giving his 3^rd and 4^th stringers an opportunity to play. But Paterno seemed like he was settling an old score for a 14-3 upset the Bearcats hung on them in 1983. I was really not a fan.

As I got older I grew to respect Paterno because he fought the good fight, he was a man who stuck doggedly to his dogma and principles. He just seemed like someone that was really one that pushed education and made the business of  a student athlete focused more on the student. The story of injured DB Adam Taliaferro near fatal injury and how Paterno stuck by his side and made sure that he continued to get the education that his scholarship afforded even after it was clear that he would not be able to play anymore is something that warms the heart and illustrates why so many of his players were so fiercely loyal. The problem with lionizing a man is that a man has foibles. Paterno became such an institution, became so ingrained, was so much of the culture that he became insular and insulated and the sickening allegations that were brought on by the Sandusky matter painted him as someone who was playing by the old boy network.  Had this happened in 1999 and Paterno was out front of this, slammed Sandusky and repudiated any and all actions by the man, it would have burnished his image further as the coach who was the dean of fair play and morality. If shit like this happened in Happy Valley JoePa would be on the front lines leading the charge to get rid of it and the perpetrators. But instead he passed it along, did nothing and hoped it would go away and when that boomerang came back. As shit like this tends to do, Paterno looked more like someone who was out of touch had no clue and was trying to do more covering and hiding than leading the fight.  Paterno was a great coach and for the most part a great man. But the way his coaching career ended was sad if not tragic and when he was dismissed it was hard not to be fatalistic and think that he would not live long enough to see another coach lead what he always thought of as his team out of the tunnel onto the field at Beaver Stadium. Im wondering how long it will be before Penn State names the venue after Paterno and tries to blot away the final stain on an otherwise stellar coaching legacy and career.

Phat Dap/Head Slap

Phat Dap

The only good thing about the Pro Bowl being the week before the Super Bowl instead of after is that it gives some players a shot at going to Hawai’i that would not have before. With Eli Manning and Tom Brady headed to Indy, hot rookies Cam Newton of the Panthers and Andy Dalton of the Bengals got the call to fill their place. Dalton and Newton were first alternates and since Brady and Manning who were initially named to their respective conference squads have other pressing matters on the 29^th, the deserving rookies head to Honolulu. Geno Atkins and Jermaine Gresham of the Bengals also get to fill in the Pro Bowl slots for Vince Willfork and Rob Gronkowski . I still think that the Pro Bowl should be after the Super Bowl but you know that players would be asking out anyway.  Give some players that want to go a shot.

Head Slap

The Head Slap goes to the dumbass that sent the twitter post threatening 49ers Kyle Williams for his miscues in the NFC Championship game. Williams was hit by a punt and fumbled another both leading directly to points and in the case of the 2^nd miscue the winning field goal for the Giants. Williams who is the son of White Sox GM Kenny made tough mistakes but to single him out and worse still to threaten his life over a game is inane and stupid. It’s a game…that’s all…get a life   Another head slap goes to Bruins goalie Tim Thomas who decided to skip the Bruins visit to the White House and meeting with President Obama.Thomas, who apparently has political ideological differences with the President, made a statement that he had no intentions of meeting the president and was pointedly skipping the trip. Obama nevertheless spoke glowingly about Thomas’ performance during the Bruins run to the 2011 Cup.

I know this week was a bit short, but next weeks edition will be chock full of Super Bowl info, the College finale and the first Spec Sheet along with anything else I can think of. Until next post fellow Sports Fans!