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Deep Thoughts
Category: FEATURED
Tags: Moises Alou DeShawn Stevenson David and Michael Roth Florida Marlins

 

 

 

Hello all and welcome to another Wednesday of deep thoughts. This has indeed been a very strange year for weather. While many of you battled a cold and wet spring, the southwest has just baked. Normally we get fresh reviving spring rains...but not this year. It has been months since it has rained in Austin. We began to see 100 in May and it has just continued to heat up.

 

 

 

This is what it looks like in the Austin area. Yes it is always hot this time of year, but we don't normally see this until late July or August. It is sad to say, but what we need is a good tropical depression to roll in. By the way, we call this a pond...or stock tank. We call it a mud hole now...

One of the wonderful things about Austin is the many summer water activities we have available on the area lakes. Here is a photo of our water source...Lake Travis:

 

 

 

 

When full, Lake Travis does not have any islands. With all of the drought in our area, it was especially troubling to see a community discarding water. Here is something that caught my eye today:

 

 



 

Man urinates in water, city flushes 8M gallons 

 

PORTLAND, Ore. – Call it the big flush.

Because a 21-year-old man was caught on a security camera urinating into a city reservoir, Oregon's biggest city is sending 8 million gallons of treated drinking water down the drain.

Portland officials defended the decision Monday, saying they didn't want to send city residents water laced, however infinitesimally, with urine.

Public health officials say, however, that urine is sterile in healthy people and that the urine in the reservoir was so diluted — perhaps a half pint in millions of gallons — that it posed little risk.

Some people in the city, in the suburbs and around the world called the flush an overreaction, especially since animals such as ducks contribute waste routinely and, sometimes, die in the water.

"More than 1 billion people worldwide do not have reliable access to clean drinking water, and here we are tossing away nearly 8 million gallons of water just to appease the ignorant residents who believe their tap water will otherwise turn yellow," read one comment posted on The Oregonian's Website. 

 

Let me get this straight...we are rationing water and Portland is flushing 8 million gallons of water. I mean even if the guy that took a leak in the water supply was the guy that drank 48 beers...it is 8 million gallons of water and a few ounces of urine. As the writer says, what about the birds and other animals that add their special flavor each day? So, if you knew that a guy took a leak in your water supply, would you drink the tap water?

 

The reservoirs distribute water that flows from glaciers on Mount Hood. It is treated before it goes to the reservoirs for distribution, and then goes directly to consumers.

The reservoirs are drained twice a year for cleaning, and workers have found animal carcasses, paint cans, construction material, fireworks debris and even the plastic bags people use to scoop up after their dogs, said David Shaff, administrator of the city water bureau.

Even so, Shaff said, the yuck factor was the primary reason for the decision to drain the 8 million gallons, at a cost of less than $8,000 to treat it as sewage.

"Nobody wants to drink pee, and I don't want to deal with the 100 people who would be unhappy that I'm serving them pee in their water," he said. Shaff said the security cameras also showed something that's still unidentified was thrown in the water, heightening concern about potential risks. 

The Mount Hood watershed that supplies the city is brimming this spring, with 8 million gallons flowing through it about every half hour.

"If I lived in Texas, I might have had a different response," he said.  

No Doubt...

 

 



 

 

While we are on urine, do you remember remember the small quirk that made Moises Alou unique? Moises did not wear batting gloves as he believed that peeing on his hands toughened them to the point that he did not need batting gloves. Jorge Posada apparently also does this during spring training...I think I will opt for a wave if I ever run into these guys

 

 

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You have probably heard about DeShawn Stevenson being arrested for public intoxication. Were you surprised to hear that it was 10:30 at night and that he was outside a friends apartment in Irving looking for his cell phone? As I read about this event, I was shocked to read that DeShawn did not go to the South Beach team party after they won the championship. His wife is very pregnant and could not make the trip to Miami. So, since she could not come...he did not go to the party. This does not sound like a guy that would be charged a few nights later with public intoxication. So, what did he do wrong? According to Stevenson, he was lucid and told the officers that he was not drunk and was not driving...they arrested him anyway. Officer said he did not know where he was and that he failed a sobriety test.  He spent 5 hours in jail and was charged with a class c misdemeanor. He also paid a fine of $475.00

What did Stevenson do that any of us have not done? DeShawn has an idea of why he was arrested..." Stevenson, a large man who sports several tattoos, including on his face and neck, speculated that officers profiled him based on his appearance. A lot of people get stereotyped. If you see a person like me walking down the street-not in my suit attire-in my average attire, it kind of looks suspect." he said.


The apartment complex was a very nice complex located in Irving. If you see a large man with tatoos on his face and neck wandering around the parking lot, perhaps it would turn heads...but you would think that after the cops talked to him that they would have let him go back to his friends unit....that's just my take anyway.

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

Can you imagine your son playing in the college world series? Do you think that you would do anything necessary to go to the game? Last year, David Roth missed his son's appearance in Omaha. When South Carolina made it back to Omaha this year, he decided that he would not miss the tournament again. Because he had no personal time available, David had to quit his sales job in Greenville, SC to attend. His son, Michael did not disappoint. He pitched 7 1/3 innings in a victory over Texas A&M on Sunday. Now that is what I call a special father's day gift! By the way, if you know anyone that needs a car salesman in Greenville, David will be available next week!

 

 

 



 

 

 

 


 

Hats off to the Marlins for bringing back Trader Jack McKeon. The Marlins went back to a proven formula when they were suddenly without a manager. The man is 80 years old and managing a major league team! So far, so good...as the Marlins won on Tuesday, to end a long dry spell. McKeon is definitely old school and I think that this is exactly what this Marlin team needs. In case you wondered how long the transformation would take, here is your answer:

 

MIAMI -- Whatever the reason for Hanley Ramirez's day off Monday, his outspoken Marlins teammate Logan Morrison reportedly was none too pleased with Ramirez's perception of time.

A source told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel on Tuesday that Morrison ripped into Ramirez after the shortstop arrived less than half an hour before the team stretch Monday -- something the paper reported Ramirez has had a habit of doing this season. 

Morrison scolded Ramirez for his repeated tardiness, the Sun-Sentinel said, and told him that was the reason for his season-long slump.

According to the paper, Ramirez didn't respond to Morrison's comments until after the outfielder left the room. Then, the paper said, Ramirez began shouting with no particular target identified.

New Marlins manager Jack McKeon held Ramirez out of Monday's lineup, saying that he didn't like the way he ran in the Marlins' previous game.

Morrison would not address the issue when asked about it by the Sun-Sentinel on Tuesday, but Monday, Morrison was hopeful that the arrival of the old-school McKeon would change the attitudes former manager Edwin Rodriguez had tried adjusting.

"We have a lot of guys who Edwin said don't hustle or play hard," Morrison told The Associated Press on Monday. "Maybe Jack can kick them in the butt." 

 

Good for Morrison... but what is it with Hanley Ramirez? This guy is blessed with unbelievable skills, yet he just does not know how to play the game the right way. Hopefully, McKeon can remind Ramirez what being a professional is all about.

 

 



 

As I have been writing my blog, we actually had a thunderstorm roll in. Maybe it is from Portland? Who cares, we will take it.

That is all I have for today, but I will leave you with a bit of Jack Handey to ponder:

 

Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.  

Love is not something that you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That's called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot.  

 

Thanks for stopping by and feel free to leave a few deep thoughts of your own...

Tee-Ball Season Begins
Category: User Showcase
Tags: Tee Ball Little Beeze The Beeze Coaching

  Today we squeezed in our first official Tee-Ball game of the season...This is my second season of coaching the Little Beeze's team...This year our name is the Riverdogs...And we have a bad-ass team...Unlike last year, every kid can kind of the throw...The Little Beeze has a great arm, and there is a 2 little girls, and 5 other boys who can throw well...There are only a couple kids that we've had to work with at all, and they have gotten right away...

Most of the kids are hitting well too...Just a couple having trouble, but they'll get there...So, as I said, we squeezed in the first official game today...Between morning thunderstorms, and now the evening storms...It was also picture day...Can't wait to post the boy's evil grin with his bat in hand...

Now this is one of those Pussification of American youth leagues...No keeping score...Everyone bats, it doesn't matter if you get 3 outs, the whole team bats, then you switch...At this age, (5-6 year olds) I'm okay with the everyone batting...But not keeping score bothers me...There should be winning and losing...Kids need to know that losing exists...I made sure that the staff knew that I keep score...How? By how many outs are made...

Well, in game one the Riverdogs dominated...Ripping the ball past their front line of defense, and getting some past their secondary infielders...(3 kids play across an arch near the pitchers mound...Then there are 7 infielders behind them)...The boy laced one through the middle...They got one of our base runners out in the first inning...

Then we took the field...The Little Beeze was playing the third-base side on the arch...That inning he threw a runner out at 1st, home, and 3rd...We got three other runners out...6-1 in my book...Onto the second and usually final inning...(time limit league)...We hit the hell out of the ball some more, and they got one runner out...Little Beeze got his second hit, ripping it down the 3rd base line...

Their last at bat I, being the quality coach that I am, rotated the positions, so everyone gets a chance at some ground ball action...It was humid, and this is the point when the kids lose a bit of focus...We only got one base runner out...Final, 7-2 Riverdogs...Handshakes, and then coach Beeze broke out the "Capri Suns"...

Thursday evening we'll be back at it, and I expect more of the same...It's gonna be a good season!

Later, The Beeze.

 

Musings From The Hoodwood 6-21
Category: Daily Blog 2.0
Tags: NHL PGA MLB NBA


"Charl can keep the green jacket for now, I think this is much more sweeter"

 

Greetings from the Hoodwood, where we are celebrating the annual arrival of Princess Katie.

How bout dat kid?

I thought for sure for sure that after Rory McIlroy had his painful meltdown in the Masters last April that you would never hear from this kid again. Almost like how Jean Van De Velde had his epic meltdown on the 18thin the 1999 British Open. Has anyone even heard from that Frenchman again? But McIlroy shot a 65 of Thursday to grab the lead at Congressional and would not be headed, guarding it like a personal fiefdom and destroying the field, like Tiger Woods used to do. His -16 set a US Open record breaking the record set by…Tiger Woods. His domination was so complete I was hearing grumbles by golf wonks about how easy the course was playing. Rory didn’t meltdown on Sunday as some were expecting (or hoping that he would do) instead playing a leisurely 3 under on Sunday and making the Fathers day finale his personal Sunday stroll. As gracious in victory as he was classy in defeat just two months earlier; McIlroy has seemed to shake off a loss that might have defined lesser golfers like the 99 British did Van De Velde and has stamped himself as one of the young guns to really keep an eye on going forward. It will be fun to see if there will be duels when a certain feline golfer gets healthy, heres hoping that happens and that right soon.

What is it about Boston?

I mean really, growing up all I ever heard was Boston always moaning about how their teams were cursed that they always got the shaft in big games. The Red Sox and the Bucker grounder, the Pats getting hammered in the Super Bowl, the Bruins always melting down when the weather got warmer. I always would say that it was a balancing act for the arrogant Celtics always winning. I mean hell, in 1986 the Pats lost the Super Bowl and the Red Sox lost the World Series but the Celtics won their 16th  NBA championship in between. But to me it always seemed that Bostonians were always crying about their teams not winning the big games. Fast forward to 2002, when Adam Vinitieri’s 47 yard field goal split the uprights in Super Bowl 36, Boston has had an unbelievable run of titles. The Pats won 3 Super Bowls in 4 years, the Red Sox ended the so-called Bambino curse in 2004 rallying from 0-3 to beat their hated rival Yankees then sweeping the Cards in the Series; then winning the Series again in 2007 The Celtics even got in on the act winning a title in 2008. I couldn’t hate on the Celtics this time, I had developed a respect for the late Red Auerbach that I never had when he was alive and I felt for Kevin Garnett who never got a real chance to play for a title in Minnesota. So that left the Bruins who had never won a Stanley Cup title in my lifetime. They hadn’t even been to the finals since my senior year in high school. Did I mention that I went to my 20thyear class reunion last November? I remember the Oilers sweeping away the Bruins like so much debris as Mark Messier was the captain of that team that beat the Bruins in five games. The Bruins had more or less been the red headed step-child of the Boston sports scene. Or at least the championship part of it till this spring. The Bruins looked like they were going to be the foil for a glorious return of the Stanley Cup back to Canada, the Canucks won their first two games and talk of a sweep was prevalent. Things looked even gloomier when the Bruins forward Nathan Horton was knocked out of Game 3 and the rest of the series by a late hit by Aaron Rome, but the hit woke the Bruins up. Rallying around their fallen teammate the Bruins strafed the Canucks in the 3 games in Boston and with a winner take all finale in Vancouver the Bruins came up aces and stoned the heretofore powerful Canucks attack 4-0. Tim Thomas has now ascended to the the Mt. Rushmore of Boston legends of the 21stCentury, Joining Tom Brady, David Ortiz, Kevin Garnett. Its gotten so bad ESPN's Stephen A. Smith (a noisy New York Native) whined about how New York has fallen off so bad behind Boston

Cards and Dodgers McCourt in trouble?

Cue the uh oh…Cards pimp slugger Albert Pujols is headed to the DL with left forearm fracture, this bodes bad for both parties as the Cards are having a devil of a time in a three way joust for the NL Central lead with the defending champ Reds and young hungry Brewers. The Cards can ill afford their most feared bat being sidelined as both these teams could leave the Cards in the dust by the time Pujols is back in the swing of things. And a hurt Pujols means less of aq chance to put pressure on the Cards for the big money. You might not see Pujols in Cardinal Red next year…it’s a distinct possibilty. Meanwhile MLB rejected the deal between Fox and Dodgers owner Frank McCourt where Fox would be part of a $3 billion dollar deal and McCourt would get $385 million. What a fucking country, you nearly drive one of the most respected franchises in not just baseball but in sports and still can get some money. McCourt screams that he will sue but bully to MLB for seeing through this sham owner. Lets gets Mark Cuban as the owner here and bring prestige back to the Dodgers. I think Fay Vincent was dead wrong when he compared Cuban to the late George Steinbrenner. Cuban may be a bit obnoxious but hes never paid someone to dig up dirt on a player just so he didnt have to pay him, like Steinbrenner did. Vincent is a noisy wonk who wants people to pay attention to him, had it not been for the untimely passing of Bart Giamatti in 1989, Vincent would have been Giamatti's caddy for years

 

The Most Boring...ever???

The NBA draft used to be a time of high anticipation and sometimes it was just a formality. There were years where the #1 pick was a foregone conclusion. Shaq in '92, Ewing after the cold envelope in '85, LeBron in '03 but this year there is nothing...The Cavs got the number #1 pick but Kylie Irving hardly quickens my hearbeat and my favorite player Kemba "Ebo" Walker is a lottery pick but hardly a #1. There is talk that the Cavs might trade one or both of their top picks to garner a veteran player. Jimmer Fredette is almost a stone lock to warm the bench in Utah or Indiana but be the white bread loveable lug that will garner an NBA check for the next 15 or so years. But on the real, I took a look at the mock draft that was on ESPN and was like "Really, who the fuck are these guys?" This years draft is probably one the most forgettable in recent years, if not decades. Only the ill fated 1986 draft with the tragic Len Bias death, and the drug stunted  careers of Roy Tarpley, William Bedford and Chris Washburn may have been worse. No dis to Brad Daughtery, Mark Price, Ron Harper, John Salley and Dennis Rodman who were solid players that came out of that draft but by and large they were pretty unheralded themselves during that draft. This year I might just watch the draft to see the first pick and go back to working on my hotshots golf game.

Phat Dap/Head Slap

Phat Dap

Its rare when I give dap to a Dukie but Jay Bilas deserves it for his brutally honest opinion piece on ESPN.com about paying college athletes.(I'd provide the link but you have to be an Insider)  I am one that believes that you dont get many of the scandals that you have with boosters and over friendly "Friends of the Program" if you give player a small stipend and don't hand me this bullshit about kids getting a free ride and that room board and education is the only thing they need. I bet those that say that had plenty of money to hang out and get grub as well as go out on dates and have the things that most college kids that can get a job or have well to do family can get. Make the stipend a flat rate for all D-1 schools and you solve a weighty problem. 

Head Slap

To the ingnant (yes I spelled it like that) hooligans of Vancouver who senselessly rioted after the Canucks lost game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals to the Bruins. Someone tell me what turning over cars, breaking windows and looting had to do with a hockey game. And please don’t give me that mob mentality shit. People should have known better, you didn’t see any rioting going on in Miami after the Heat lost.

One more slap while Im at it, to the University of Kentucky. I dont give a shit that Princess Jazzie's Uncle Matt goes there. UK is never above patting itself on the back and when they honor fellow criminal...errrr Coach John Calipari on his 500th coaching win last season it seemed like a nice touch for a milestone. But the NCAA has stepped in and said that Calipari has a number of vacated wins from his criminal past....uhhhh coaching stints at UMass and Memphis...so his 500 wins are really only 458. But it ghets better, sore headed UK fans are now squawking that there are 38 coaches that should have wins vacated. UK is acting like the snitch that figures if they get busted they are gonna rat everyone else out. Is it me or does that Wildcat logo look more and more like a fuckin' rat???

 

That's the view from the Hoodwood...until next post fellow sports fans!

Tuesday's Tantrums - 6/21/11
Category: FEATURED

 

Welcome to the Gab, where thankfully, mercifully, we can begin to move away from that PR challenged moron down in South Florida.  To be honest, I'm trying to find new things to talk about and only gloss over that stuff that's always talked about.

Before I start, I was very remiss by not passing along my most sincere well wishes to all for Father’s Day.  I hope it was as special for you all as it was for me!

Too much crap and too little time.  On to the tantrums…

Rant of the Week - the Vancouver Canucks.  OH HELL NO!  You boys worked together for over nine months only to QUIT at the end???  Not just on yourselves, but on your city and country.  Didn't you hear those fans in the stands take over “Oh Canada” from the singer just before game seven?  Didn't you notice that you had an entire country behind you?  This wasn't just a game to Vancouver fan - it was 40 years of non-championship hockey just waiting to bust out and cheer their heroes, and you let them down.  You players should have been sky-high and laying the wood rather than making BS promises.  Rather than man up, you cowered in a corner after the bully punched you in the mouth and Tim Thomas stood on his head.  You let the Boston Bruins come into IN YOUR OWN FREAKING HOUSE, bitch slap you into the fetal position, and take the Stanley Cup!  Utterly unacceptable!  I'd have expected that type of crap/behavior out of Montreal, but never in a million years would I have guessed that Vancouver would go with the surrender card!

Music.

Lord, I wish I was in charge of MTV.  I'd stop making my money by finding new and creative ways to embarass and humiliate the youth of America.  I’d bring back music, you know, melodies with words that you understand?  I'd stop celebrating Teen mothers, drama queens, cribs, and reality freaks.  I'd fire every damn dumb ass suit in the building, and hire musical legends combined with just plain fans who love MUSIC and let them run the network.  I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE you that we could get 24/7 of nothing but music and enjoyment, and it would be split evenly amongst every genre.  A few things I'd do:

(1) I'd bring back the old music shows:  Bandstand, Soul Train, Don Kirshner's Midnight Special, and Austin City Limits. 

(2) I'd bring in the talent shows like Showtime at the Apollo and perhaps even play the old American Idol shows in syndication.

(3) I'd have live shows/performances from established acts once a week.  An example - Sammy Hagar performing at Lake Tahoe, or War from LA?

(4) I'd develop a new show where I hired somebody to drive around the country and find amateur acts like the guy playing the Blues in the Mississippi Delta or one of the bars on Beale Street in Memphis, some Philadelphia Soul, some Seattle Grunge, and Miami latin beat.  What about some Detroit and Southern Rock, South Texas Tejano, or even Tennessee Country?  How 'bout some Jersey Big Band sound, Kentucky Bluegrass, San Francisco Punk or California Lowrider Music?  There's so much that could be done.  Heck, what about some gospel music during a three hour Sunday morning block, followed by a few hours of cool jazz?  Good Lord, could you imagine the popularity of a channel like that?

(5) I'd try to find a way to have original Sunday morning programming that featured gospel music, followed by a few hours of cool jazz, then after twelve noon, who knows - a little head-banger stuff, perhaps?

(6) Last, but most importantly - NO TOP 40!!!  I'll let everybody else handle the Bieber/Cyrus/Spears type crap!

And if my version of MTV got big enough, I would hang a foot so far up the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's stupid ass, it wouldn't even be funny.  I'd make a mockery of them until they pulled their head out and started putting the right people in the Hall.  STOP SCREWING WITH RUSH!!!

By the way, while I'm on the subject, what exactly is wrong with Redneck Chicks?  If this chick is gonna be there, I’m totally “here for the party”…

NHL.  Congrats to Boston.  Hey Beeze, this is yet another example of karma working.  Vancouver jerked with it by biting, flopping and diving, chicken shit hits, and talking smack they couldn’t back up.  Boston just sat back and collected the spoils.  Let that be a lesson – KARMA IS REAL, and she’s a BITCH!

Riots ain't funny, but the picture above was!  Stupid asses getting violent, yet this dude was getting some in the middle of the street while everybody is just going bat-shit crazy around them.  It’s said that the dude in question was an Aussie – that has to be true because there ain’t no shame to an Aussie’s game…

MLB.   Hey John Wall, stick with Basketball cause you sure wouldn't make it in Baseball.

What was the best interleague matchup of the weekend?  I would have said Milwaukee/Boston, but I'm tired of celebrating Irishtown, so I'll go with Pittsburgh and Cleveland. Two cities that hate each other (and are pleasant surprises this season) having a summertime battle that nobody could give two shits about? Cleveland got its share of the rivalry by two 5-1 wins on Friday and Saturday and capped the sweep with a 5-2 win.  I'm surprised that nobody's talking about it, or that the Indian fans didn't set the Cuyahoga river on fire (AGAIN)!!!

A few years ago, Yankees vs. Cubs at Wrigley would have generated a whole hell of a lot more noise than it did. 

Two things that I would have never guessed that you could put together:  Livan Hernandez & money laundering for drug traffickers?  Holy Shit, dude is under investigation?  Wow!

Golf – U. S. Open.   

Rory Mcilroy boat raced the field to win the U. S. Open.  So now the talking heads (as well as his fellow competitors) have decided to crown him King Rory I of Golf World.  Hey talking heads - PLEASE SHUT UP and let the kid enjoy his hard earned  win before you make this kid out to be the best of all time!  Stop putting yet another 22 year old in the tough position of carrying the sport by himself - this generation of Golf has more than Rory.  Jason Day, Graeme McDowell, Yang, Westwood and others are going to be heard from in the coming years!  Oh yeah, this all ought to piss off Eldrick...

By the way, I felt that the course at Congressional was a tore up mess.  If you're gonna host the United States Open, don't you think the grounds would be in better shape?

Aussie Rules Football – Round 13 of 24.   I’m sitting here at the halfway point of the season, and let me tell you that to have one team undefeated half-way through in this rough game is something special.  Geelong appears to be a badass, and easily went through St. Kilda, who was in the Grand Final last year Saturday… 

NFL .   I started this week being told that the NFL is inching closer to an agreement, but then I hear that there's two owners from the AFC who are holding things up or at least being thorns in the side.  Let's find out who they are and why they're doing what they do.

NBA.   If you were to take bets on which one Dallas Maverick was gonna get up close and personal with our friend Johnny Law, who would it be?   DeShawn Stevenson - Drunk and Disorderly staggering through an apartment complex – what a shock!

Hey Tragic “Magic” Johnson,  we all know Peter Vescey is a stupid puke with an axe to grind, we don’t need you bringing his name back into the NBA.  The NBA improved (not by much) when Vescey left.  Hey Magic, why don't we improve the league more by having you stop being an “analyst”.  Go to NBA hell.  Better yet, go to one of your Starbucks and make Nurse Fan (my daughter's) latte BITCH!

Speaking of those jerk-off Fakers, there's a rumor out there that they're trying to send Gasol to Minny for Kevin Love and the #2 pick in Thursday's draft?  Minny, if you do this trade, you are effing stupid and handing the Lakers the west AGAIN!  Talk about a conspiracy theory, how is it these teams are all so eager to help the Lakers get better all the time?   

Canadian Football League.  One more week of pre-season, and then we get to Canada Day and some real football.

 

Douche Bag of the Week.  I had to bring this back and the winner of this weeks supply of Massengale is a tie: 

(1) The “It’s in the Hole” screamer on every shot during a Golf event.  It's not cool and if I could have reached into my TV set to grab you by the neck and squeeze until your face turned as blue as your hair, I would have done it.  Stop pissing off all the golf snobs around you - you sound as ignorant as you look.  Come up with something fresh - you know like something from Happy Gilmore???

As for #2...

There’s this dude in who celebrated his 58th birthday by pounding back 48 brew-skis (ALLEGEDLY), staggering to the beach, whipping out his schlong, pissing a river into the sand at the Beach, all while scaring granny and kids and forcing Johnny Law to get involved in finding the dude “different accommodations” otherwise known as the Graybar Motel.  Bottom line - this dude wasn't smooth, and Keith Stone is looking to pull his man card!

Look, we all know that when we’re drinking we exaggerate how much we slam back, but there ain’t no way dude put down two cases of Keystone Light, Schlitz, Lucky Lager, Rolling Rock, or whatever he was pounding - hell, he'd be dead. 

PEACE AND RANTING FOREVER!!!


 

Thoughts From the Couch -- 06.20.11
Category: Daily Blog 2.0

 

 
Happy Monday to everyone, and a belated Happy Father's Day to all the dads here at the gab. I hope your day was as great as mine was. I don't know about any of you, but I could get used to being treated like royalty and not having to do anything...perhaps we should have Father's Day more often? I'm sure the women-folk would love that...
 
Anyway, on to sports...
 
Congratulations to the Boston Bruins for winning the Stanley Cup! I'm truly happy for all you Boston guys, because now you can celebrate your first title since way back in 2009 when the Celtics won the NBA title. I don't know how you guys went so long without a championship team, but kudos to you for sticking with it through the thick and thin...
 
I'll be the first person to admit that I don't know shit about hockey, but I do know enough to understand that if you're a goalie, you don't talk shit about the other team's goalie until AFTER you've taken care of business and won the championship. Perhaps Luongo can follow this advice if his teammates ever bail him out enough again and advance to the Finals. Sure Luongo, Thomas might not play the same style that you do, but maybe you should take a few pointers from him, since he was able to play a style that kept the puck out of the net for most of the games. I don't know a lot about hockey, but I do know that guy who gave up 23 goals in 7 games should really just shut the fuck up. Just a thought...
 
And speaking of Vancouver...you people responsible for all the rioting that took place should be ashamed of yourselves. It's a fucking hockey game people. Your rioting didn't change the results of what happened. All it did was make you look like assholes.
 
Congrats to Rory McIlroy for winning the US Open and for setting a tournament record. I don't know anything else about it...but it just popped up on Sportscenter, and a congratulations should be in order.
 
The NFL owners are meeting this week in Chicago, and they have already told the owners to expect to stay a day or two longer than they originally thought they would have to, and rumor has it that they are going to vote on a proposed CBA that the owners and players have finally agreed to. Hopefully the owners do vote on this, and hopefully they pass it because I'm tired of not having football. I'm ready for this shit to be over with, and I'm ready to get the CBA signed so we can rest easy knowing that we won't lose any games this year. Get it done, owners and players. Get it done.
 
The College World Series started this weekend, and the defending champion South Carolina Gamecocks won their first game 5-4 against Texas A&M last night, and will face #1 overall seed Virginia on Tuesday night. Hopefully my boys can pull off another tournament win and be the first team since Oregon State in 2006-2007 to win the tournament back-to-back. There are some really good teams in the tournament this year though, so if they're going to win it they've got their work cut out for them. 
 
In the Major Leagues, the Marlins found out over the weekend that their manager Edwin Rodriguez decided he didn't want to manage anymore, so he just quit out of the blue. They're in the process of trying to find an interim manager to replace him, but it might be difficult to find someone willing to work for Jeffrey Loria, who from what I understand is a first class douchebag. (Note: it is rumored that Jack McKeon as the interim manager, but I don't have any confirmation on that.) 
 
I can't blame Rodriguez for wanting out of Florida, since the Marlins have a shitty owner who won't spend any money to put the best possible team on the field, but it's hard for me to believe that he quit for any other reason than the Marlins are in the middle of an epic slump (lost 17 of their last 18 games) and it doesn't seem to be getting any better soon, and to me that's a douchebag move for him to quit on his team like that. Perhaps if he made some better decisions during games they wouldn't have lost so many games in the month of June, but even still, to just up and walk away on your team like that is a pussy move. I hope he never gets another managerial job again, because how does anyone know he won't pull that same shit when the going gets tough?
 
Well, that's all I've got for this week. If you have anything to add to the conversation, feel free to add your thoughts in the comments section. 
 
Before I check out for the week, I'm going to leave you with a totally random video from Tosh.0 of a dildo fight, because who doesn't like seeing a guy get the shit beat out of him with a dildo?
 
 
Have a great week everyone!
 
Until next Monday...
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