Humor
Becareful what you drink!!!
Category: Humor
Tags: Drink Rum Wine Ice

 

I did not know this...

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.

When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.

When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.

When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.

Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
 
 
Just a little message to my friends!!!
 


 

The Most Bad Ass Monkey in the World
Category: Humor
Tags: The most interesting monkey in the world.

 

Hello my Gab friends. It has been awhile since I stopped by and I thought it was time to treat you to a few of my thoughts. Johnny Monkey has been compared to another and Johnny Monkey felt that it was time to "differentiate" an interesting man and a bad ass monkey. Here are a few items that you may find, "interesting"...

 

 

When Johnny Monkey eats at a restaurant, the waiters tip him.

Traffic lights turn green whenever he approaches the light.

Mimes can’t shut up around Johnny Monkey.

When there is a real emergency, 911 calls Johnny Monkey.

Wherever Johnny Monkey lives, the locals learn to speak his language.

When Johnny Monkey goes fishing, he does not need bait…the fish simply jump in his boat.

Johnny Monkey once made a bad man kick his own ass.

Life gives Johnny Monkey lemonade, never lemons.

Wilt Chamberlain read Johnny Monkey’s book about women.

 After the most interesting man in the world left The Virgin Islands, it was just called The Islands. After Johnny Monkey left, they were called The Satisfied Islands.

At birth, Johnny Monkey slapped the doctor.

Pilots allow Johnny Monkey to talk on his cell phone.

Johnny Monkey is friends with Big Foot and the Loch Ness monster.

Johnny Monkey can french in any language.

Rubik’s cube was a gift to Rubik from Johnny Monkey.

When Johnny Monkey met an alien, the alien asked Johnny Monkey to probe him…

 

 

 

Don't forget to keep eating your vegetables...

Monkey Time
Category: Humor
Tags: Johnny Monkey


 

Hello Gabbers. Johnny Monkey here to say a quick hello. I hope everyone is eating their vegetables and kicking life's ass. Johnny Monkey heard a cute story today and wanted to pass it along:

 

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cubs fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Cubs fans too. Not really knowing what a Cubs fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because I’m not a Cubs fan.”

Then, asks the teacher, what are you?

“Why I’m proud to be a St. Louis Cardinals fan,” boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Cardinals fan.

“Well, My Dad and Mom are Cardinals fans, and I’m a Cardinals fan too.”

The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”

A pause, and a smile. “Then,” says the girl, “I’d be a Cubs fan...”...

 

Johnny Monkey likes the Cubs just fine, but thought this too funny not to pass along.

 



Johnny Monkey has been working on a magazine, hopefully some of you find this interesting.

 

 

 

 

Johnny Monkey is not sure what a School For Scondrels is all about.

 

 

 

 

Bill Burr On Sports (vol. 8...Bill vs. Pittsburgh)
Category: Humor
Tags: Bill Burr Pittsburgh NFL Sex Pittsburgh Steelers Sidney Crosby Pittsburgh Penguins Pittsburgh Pirates

 

I heard this and had to get it out there...Bill killin' like he always does...Suck it Pittsburgh!




Shit, how about a bit more...Bill on Sex...




Later, The Beeze. 

 

RSS
Blog Categories

This website is powered by Spruz