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Whip It Out Wednesday
Category: User Showcase
Tags: MLB Tigers Paterno Neil Diamond Fielder Matt Millen

  Hey there ladies and gents, and welcome to a late-night edition of Whip It Out Wednesday with your old pal, IHM. Been a massive couple of days in the sporting world, and we'll dive right into the biggest stories of the day (and the two or three days before). 

  The obvious story I have to cover first is the Tigers' signing of Prince Fielder to a massive 9 year, 214 million dollar contract. Honestly, I love the move... no matter what the defensive rammafications might be. So Fielder plays first base, which takes your old superstar, Miguel Cabrera, out of the fold there until Fielder needs a day off. I could NOT care any less about the defensive side of the ball here. Look at it this way, with or without Prince Fielder in the fold, the Tigers are a mediocre defensive team at best. Without Fielder in the lineup, aside from Cabrera, the LINEUP you trot out there day in and day out is pretty vanilla. Avilia had a good year last year... Peralta was solid, but he hasn't been a consistent hitter in his career... just ask Beeze. Delmon Young is run of the mil for a corner outfielder... Austin Jackson can't get on base to save his life at times. Without Victor Martinez in the lineup, the Tigers were in deep shit... and they knew it. Well, they responded to this issue in a BIG, BIG way by adding a 40 HR, 100 RBI bat. 

  Some people are bitching about the contract... the length and the amount paid. Honestly, neither one phases me. This is a two-year investment. Owner Mike Illitch really probably only has two or three years left at the helm of this team, he's getting up there. He'd like to have a World Series ring to go along with all the Stanley Cup championship rings he's accumulated over the years. He's all in with this team right now, and Tiger fans should be excited! Look, just eight or so years ago, when he was spending next to nothing on the Tigers' payroll, and hadn't in the decade previous he had owned the team, I was among the many calling for him to just sell the damn team already if he wasn't going to invest anything into it. He was dumping cash into the Red Wings left and right, and wouldn't even spend a damn dime on the Tigers' payroll over what was necessary to keep enough asses in the seats. But, this is a new day for Tigers' baseball. It may only last a couple of years, so enjoy it while you can. 

  There are many other flaws with this team, but this addition really helps to cover some of that up. The rotation, 1-3 at least, is among the best in baseball. If guys like Avilia, Peralta, Young and Boesch step it up, this could be a very, very good lineup. The pen is solid, at least on the back end. If you can go out and add another solid starter to the rotation to pencil in behind Porcello, a guy like Roy Oswalt or Edwin Jackson, or even trade Castellanas and Turner to ANYBODY in baseball that has a solid left-handed starter available, I say do it. The future is NOW Detroit. Quit worrying about John Smoltz, he ain't comin' back. You could've had Gio Gonzalez... they wanted BOTH of those players along with another guy, possibly Boesch. You could've had one of the five best YOUNG left handed starters in the game. You blew that opportunity. Now it's time for Dave Dombrowski to make his bacon.

  Make no mistake, this move had NOTHING to do with the General Manager... Mike Illitch stepped into Scott Boras' office alone, bent himself over the desk, and asked him what it was going to take to get Prince Fielder in a Tigers' uniform. As has been the case several times in the past, Boras obliged in fucking Illitch right in the asshole, and taking $214 million over nine years in return. 

  But really, Prince Fielder is only 27 years old. He hasn't played less than 152 games in a full Major League Season. He's free of nagging injuries, and is a guy you can build your lineup around. If nothing else, this thing doesn't work out a year or two from now, Cabrera is likely the guy I'm shipping out of town in return for some major, major prospects or for a quality arm along with a solid position player or two. Even in the long term, this nine-year contract isn't so bad. Awesome move by the Tigers... and something tells me they aren't finished dealing yet. Just a gut feeling you might say. The Cuban Centipede is still out there, and the Tigers are in his top five still. 

  Another major event happened for Detroit and its' fans this weekend that really flew under the radar. Former Lions' coach Marty Mornenwhig has been mentioned as a candidate for the head coaching job in Oakland, and his experience at the helm in Detroit was brought up by many of the pundits out that way. My old pal Matt Millen stepped up to the plate, and finally took responsibility for the God-awful job he did as GM of the Lions', saying Mornenwhig would be a good NFL coach, he just never got the players he needed to succeed under Millen. Way to show you actually have half a pair, Matty boy. About six or seven years too late, and numerous cashed paychecks too late, but it's good to finally hear it come out of your mouth. 

  Super Bowl is set, and I got it half right! Pats and Giants... again... really hoping the Patriots take care of business this time around. If the G-Men pull this thing out, l'il Eli will have a LOT to brag about at the next Manning get together. Hell, he'll have double the number of Lombardi trophies his big brother and father have put together. Here's hoping the Patriots pull this thing off, though. Good God I hate New York. 

  Happy belated birthday to Mr. Neil Diamond. Every time I even hear that name, all I can think of is the Saturday Night Live sketch featuring Will Ferrell as Neil Diamond. 

  Oh yeah, and Joe Paterno died this weekend. A bunch of assholes in Pennsylvania were sad about it, and did some stupid vigil at the statue of that cowardly bastard on Penn State's campus. Rest in apathy, JoePa. 

  That's it for me this time around, folks. Thanks for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. 

Prince Fielder signs with Tigers for 9 years, $214M
Category: User Showcase
Tags: MLB Detroit Tigers Prince Fielder

According to CBS Sports, and several other sports outlets I'm not going to look up because I'm lazy (The only reason I'm even mentioning CBS Sports is because they sent me the email alert -- so they get the props.), the Tigers have agreed to terms with free agent 1B Prince Fielder for a contract reportedly worth $214M over 9 years. (Detroit restaurant owners collectively are pleased with this development.)

I don't know how much truth is in the amount of money and/or years, or if Fielder even signed with Detroit at all -- after all, CBS did report that JoePa was dead when he wasn't dead -- but since other news sources are talking about it and it's all over the place on Twitter, it must be true. (And about Twitter: Does everyone really have to tweet every fucking thing at the same time? My God, there's no need for 15 updates at one time on one news event people. It's okay if all of you don't re-tweet everything that happens during the day.)

Congrats to the Tigers and to our resident Detroit membership here at The Gab -- The Brothers Patton and Stormin' Norman -- for landing the second biggest fish in the pond (Metaphorically speaking, anyway. If we're being literal, then you got the biggest fucker out there. Congrats.)

I'm glad that Fielder is going to a team not named the Yankees or Red Sox (not that they need him anyway) and the Braves fan in me is glad that he's not going to the Natinals. The NL East is going to be tough enough as it is, so we don't need the Natinals to have one more player that gets them closer to contention.

In all seriousness, this is a great move for Detroit so long as they can figure out a way to have both Fielder and Cabrera on the field at the same time. My theory is that they will probably just move Cabrera back to 3B, which will work out great in balancing out the weight transfer on the field from the added poundage that Fielder is going to bring to the right side of the infield. 

Really though, this move does make sense for Detroit, who were struggling to find a sufficient replacement in the offense for Victor Martinez who is slated to miss most of -- if not all of -- the 2012 season after suffering a torn ACL while working out in preparation for Spring Training. The Tigers not only replaced V-Mart, but they got someone who's much better than what they had. Good for them. My prediction is that this signing will help the Tigers continue their domination of the AL Central division, and will give them an upper hand in representing the AL in the World Series over the next 5 years, until Prince gains about 100 lbs. and can't do anything but swing the bat at fastballs anymore.

If it comes out that this signing was indeed a hoax, I'll retract this report after I say about fifteen Fuck CBS's and mutter something about why the hell I wasted my time with this story in the first place, but until then it appears that Detroit needs to double up their food supply before big boy makes it into town.

Flyover Shot from Gillette Stadium: AFC Championship Game
Category: User Showcase

The flyover Air Force C5 after Stephen Tyler "sang" the National Anthem:

Note the writing under the jet

And just in case you're's the view from inside:

Trying to Get Out of a Slump
Category: User Showcase
Tags: The Beeze Little Beeze Baby Beeze Life Kids Friends Blumpy

Even Sparty has to hit a "Slumpbuster" sometimes!

Yes, I've been in a writing slump...So this is me trying to write my way out of it...My Monday Post did great numbers, but I wasn't happy with what I wrote...It was carried by the two pics in it, and the quality Bill Burr rant, and closed with the cute video of my baby girl dancing...The writing in between was filler...I apologize for that...

So why the slump...It started a couple weeks ago...I got some news that an old friend had passed...The how is still sketchy, but which ever way it happened, it crushed me...Not because we were close...We hadn't been in a long time...We were very close for a couple years in our youth...But over time we lost track of each other...Now I really wished we hadn't...I keep thinking, if I would have kept in touch, maybe this wouldn't have happened...The whole thing just rattled me...So, I've never been one to make a "New Year's Resolution" but I am now...I'm going to try my best to be a better friend...(No I can't lend you any money!)

Then last Saturday night I was out with some old friends from high school...We were having a blast...One guy, who was a Senior when I was a Freshman, who had taken me under his wing, showed up...I knew him well, because he was friends with my brother, and I think that's why he looked out for me right away...He was always smart, loud, obnoxious, and slightly douchey...That's why we liked him! Well, he walked into the pub, and holy fuck it got loud and obnoxious in there...And yes, slightly douchey, as he was wearing one brown shoe, and one tennis shoe...Almost 40, and he's totally the same!

The guy he rolled in with was always a funny son of a bitch...He was still funny, but the poor bastard's wife must not be...She started ringing his phone constantly, giving him shit for being out, and having some fun...Heaven forbid he see some people he hasn't seen in years...

Yeah, some of these people I hadn't seen in 12-15 years...So it's always good to break the ice with a story about paying a hooker years ago for a BLUMPY...Some people were shocked...Some were grossed out...Some were happy to see I hadn't changed either!

Of course we passed around our cell phones, and checked out each others kids...When you're in high school, you never think about being in a bar almost twenty years later with the same people, and talking about your kids...And Blumpies!

Then my phone rang...The little Beeze was puking...The wife was equipped to deal with that, and the baby, who was still awake, because she only goes to sleep for me...So I knocked back a water, cleaned the snow off my car, and got home...Yeah, I had some beers and drove...Don't get high and mighty...Most of us have done it...I'm not promoting it, it's just reality...I don't bullshit on this blog, and I'm not starting now...

So the boy was puking for a couple days...Then just as he was getting better, the baby got it...She's not a good puker...She fights it...Ends up choking herself...It's a battle...The boy, shit he just opens his mouth and lets it fly...So my little girl seemed to get over it in a day...But then it came back a couple days later...A little more puke city...I've been steam cleaning like a mother fucker...The wife and I have been pounding out laundry non-stop...And I'm just tired as fuck...The other night I slept sitting up, holding the baby because she just felt crappy and couldn't relax...It was a long couple nights, but she's okay now...

The wife and I had some quality time, and everyone is resting peacefully...Now I'm going to do the same...I hope this gets me back on track...

Later, The Beeze.

Storminnorman's favorite Guitar solo
Category: User Showcase
Tags: Practicing with YouTube showing my age

This is just like one of my favorite guitar solos of all time, and I am practicing with YouTube so I thought I would share it with you

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