Hello and welcome to another Wednesday of deep thoughts. As we grind trough another week, it is a good time to stop and enjoy the bonus day on the calendar. Every four years, we add a day to our February calendar and today is that day..

Beeze always says have a week and truthfully, I feel like I have already put in a complete week. We are merging with another company and the process has been very faulty. I can't tell you how much I miss the mortgage world of years past. This compliance driven "era" is a pain. I have felt like Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day the past week...each day just sucked with no improvements. Hopefully today will be better. As  I am late posting this,  I  better get in to the sports part of my blog.

As this is the "offseason" for football, I thought I would drop in a discussion of lifting. Each year, I have watched my son and his friends work their ass off during the spring in the weight room. My 180 something pound son is now squatting 335, benching 260 and power cleaning 270. As fans, we do not see the work that athletes put into their sport. It is a different world now. Athletes have a formulated plan to maximize their bodies potential. Do you know who LaRon Landry is? I saw a picture of him last week and I was astounded. Landry is a safety for the Redskins and apparently he lives in the weight room.

Does this look like a safety to you? Holy crap! This is an NFL safety? How would you like to go across the middle with this beast waiting for you? Landry is a free agent...

Spring is also baseball season. Football players that also play baseball do not go to baseball class, but continue to workout with the football team. After school, the players bolt for the locker room to change and head to the baseball field to join the practice already in progress. This year has been tough as the baseball coach has been requesting that my son be able to change his schedule to join the baseball class. Since the football coach is also the athletic director, you already know how this worked out. Being a two sport athlete is a tough gig, but I truly believe that my son is a better baseball player because he also plays football. 

My son's high school baseball season kicked off last Thursday with a 6 game tournament. The team played well in spots, but the coach used a different lineup for each game. Baseball is an interesting game. It is a team game, but is also an individual test between pitcher and hitter. Blake began the season right with 2 HR's 3 triples and 2 doubles for the six games. He also had a sac fly and walked three times. His average for the season was .476 until last night. He went 2 for 3 last night with a double and a HR and now has 16 RBIs for the young season. There was a Twins scout at the Thursday game and he asked my wife and I a bunch of questions about Blake. There is a showcase tournament at Minute Maid in August that he would like Blake to attend. We contacted the clearing house folks for the NCAA and they have scheduled an interview with us on Saturday with one of their national scouts. I could not be more proud of my son as I know how hard he has worked. Last year was frustrating as I could see how close he was to being the hitter I knew he could be. Now, if the team can start winning, it will truly be a fantastic season. We lost our first district game last night 9 to 7. It was 9 to 3 going in to the bottom of the 7 inning, so we gave a gutsy effort to come back. We had the winning run to the plate before we ran out of gas. Our pitchers let us down a bit in hitting 5 and walking 6. It always comes down to the pitching...

Here are a few videos:

Blake and his guys are doing a bow and arrow thing this year. I sort of like it...

Here is Ben Johnson just crushing a ball over the center field wall. It is impossible to show how far this ball went. Ben has signed to play baseball at Texas next season. He is a really talented kid.

I am not even sure if baseball is Ben's best sport. I have watched this kid and cannot believe that Texas did not sign him to play QB.

This may be the one that I was most proud of, with two outs...Blake comes through with a big double to left.

I knew this was gone when it left his bat...he was mad that he hit an HR as he felt a base hit would have served the team better. There is something about clearing the bases during a rally that makes it hard to get started again. His teammates managed to keep it going, only just coming up short.

Did you know that Wade Boggs drinks beer and eats chicken?

Did you know that Andre could do all that and more...

Had to add this. You have probably seen Augie lose his shit before, but the South Park clip was too good to pass up.

That is all I have today. But I will leave you with a bit of Jack Handey...

"Here's a good tip for when you go to the beach: A sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left, but trust me, they don't taste like it."

"As we were driving, we saw a sign that said 'Watch For Rocks.' Marta said it should read 'Watch For PRETTY Rocks.' I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke---just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!"

Thanks for stopping by and feel free to leave a few deep thoughts of your own...

Freaking system is messing up tonight!? What the hell?

Welcome to the tantrums, where we?ve come to the end of February, and the sports docket is really taking off.? While that may be the case, please allow me to divert and talk about a movie I saw last night.? Let me start by saying:? I don?t watch movies in the theater ? I think it?s a rip off of epic proportions and I believe that actors and actresses are nothing more than douche bags who think they can lecture us about whatever subject whenever it suits them.? I think they?re effing hypocrites.? My doesn't like it, but I have self-imposed a moratorium on buying a ticket to the theater.?

But the movie I saw last night my daughter had free tickets to watch Act of Valor, so away we went.? I wasn?t disappointed, and it hit me in many ways that I won?t mention here.? Being a sailor for 22 years, and spending 18 months of that in a command where I provided non-combat support to Navy Seals and Special Warfare Combat Crew, I loved this movie.? It touched all the right buttons for me, and quite frankly, I have never walked out of a theater with the crowd so quiet ? almost somber.

40 years since "the Godfather" debuted?? Wow!!!

Rant of the Week ? Jim Rome.? My original rant was a little long and probably inappropriate, so I won?t go there.? Instead, I wanna bash Jim Rome.? Once upon a time, this dude had a phenominal radio show ? it was fresh and different.? It counted on sports fans from places like Albuquerque, Omaha, and Rochester and their views on sports ? they?re the epitome of sports fans ? they have no dogs in the race.? His show had fans defending their turf and ?border skirmishes? and creative fans running smack were the order of the day.? His show was about fans and legendary interviews with people like Steve Elkington the pro golfer.? What the hell happened?? Well quite frankly, he big leagued us all with stale and sterile interviews.? He fills time by repeating the same audio 50 times and discusses his horses, while mocking his listeners.? His SOCAL pimp in the box routine got real stale.? Yeah Jim, we know you?re from LA ? but FUCK LA, and screw you?re pimping the Lakers at every turn.? You got away from what made your show different and fresh.? Now, you?re no better than Colin Cowherd.

MLB.?? File this under the ?Are you serious, Bro??.? Fausto Carmona (err, Roberto Hernandez) is in some kind of trouble down in the Dominican Republic and he can?t get his visa.? I?m not sure what?s going on, but how do the Indians trust this guy ever again?

Ryan Braun ? you got over because some idiot put your pee in an unsecured reefer rather than doing the right thing chain of custody wise.? I held that job previously and everybody knows the first thing challenged when a positive comes out is chain of custody.? The collector should be thoroughly reviewed for being stupid enough to collect the sample so late in the day/week that they couldn?t get FedEx involved immediately.

Maybe I?m being an idiot here, but I kinda like what the San Diego Padres are quietly doing down in LOCAL.? Picking up Huston Street is a good idea as your closer, and bringing Carlos Quentin home is a great idea as well.? The problem I see here is power.? But trading Mat Latos to Cincy wasn?t a good idea.

College Basketball.? ??Hey Florida State, losing to Kook-U on Thursday Night did not please me!

What did please me was Pat Knight?s rant on his seniors down at Lamar University.? But Pat, I have a question ? why did you wait until the end of the season to do this?? If your players are late, not attending workouts, not listening to?coaches,?and getting ?F?s? for grades, you should have suspended them a long time ago.? Let?s face facts, no kid from Lamar is going to the NBA ? they should have been taught a lesson much sooner.?

 
Here we go again...Some how the stomach flu has attacked my house again...The Little Beeze started puking Friday night...Sunday afternoon the baby and our oldest daughter started...Then Sunday night the Mrs....Me, so far only blew a little mud...But I'm fearing the worst...How did this happen again...I blame the kids and their school...Their school that they will be leaving after this year...We have decided to put them in our neighborhood Catholic school...The public schools have been heading down hill the last few years...And our oldest, isn't being challenged at all...She's in 4th grade and reading at a 6th grade level...She's ahead in everything...And the public school as I said, blows!

At first I thought the Little Beeze was sick from all the junk food he had Thursday night at the Lake Erie Monsters game...Yep, the boy and I took in some AHL hockey Thursday night...We got seats right on the glass...


He loved it...He loved repeating all the trash talk the die hard fans were shouting all night...Great section! Great view of the action!


And the Monsters as they have all season, drew well again...At the first intermission, we saw that even Waldo was there...


The boy had Ice cream, and then cotton candy, and water...I had a hot pretzel and a Mountain Dew...That crap along with parking ran us $35...So even minor league sports charge way too much for that stuff, but $35 each for seats on the glass, is great...Little Beeze pounding on the glass and repeating the trash talk he heard, was priceless...

But there was something there that pissed me off...Cleveland's two biggest culinary swingin' dicks both have places at "The Q"...Chef Michael Symon has one of his overrated, overpriced, arrogant, douchebag "B-Spot" burger places there...And Chef Rocco Whalen, from "Fat Chef" crying like a bitch, "I'm fat because mommy kept feeding me to protect me."...And "I'm a stress eater."...Fuck you! Rocco has a Nacho & Taco place there...

Both these egotistical, fucktards didn't have their places open...What, do these cunts only open for the Cavs...Ummm, fuck the Cavs...Pay attention to the numbers...By the end of the year, The Monsters will have out-drawn the Cavaliers...The Monsters are averaging 14,000 a game...Hey dummies, the Quaker Steak & Lube was selling shit tons of wings...I bet if Rocco's Nachos & Tacos was open, he would have made a good buck...Shit I would have hit up some of that shit...But that's what happens when you're an arrogant douche who thinks you're the only fucker in Cleveland who can cook...Both of you cunts can suck a dick!

By the way, the Monsters won 4-3...Not a bad club, considering the injuries, flu, and call ups to Colorado...

Now to what the hot and heavy sports talk in Cleveland is...


Holy shit that looks good!

As my regular readers know, I predicted Griffin to win the Heisman back in July...I've been paying attention to the kid for a few years, and I really like him...I like the fact that he was recruited by Stanford, but decided to go to Baylor for two reasons...He didn't want to wrapped up in a QB battle with Andrew Luck, that could affect the team badly...And he wanted to go to Baylor, to turn it around...To make the program relevant...Well he did that...Now could he do the same for the Cleveland Browns?

I would love to see it...But the Browns aren't talking...And knowing the little that we know, this group in the front office does not like to part with draft picks...And rumor has it, that to get Griffin, they have to move up to the 2 slot...To do that, the talk is giving up both their 1st round picks this year, and next years...Why so much to move up 2 spots? Because the Redskins have a nut-job owner who will sell the farm for a star QB...

Now the Browns have a lot of holes to fill...They need WR's...Yes, more then one...They need a right tackle...Another corner...A safety...And outside linebacker...A running back...Another OL and DL to add depth...A QB wouldn't be bad either...Now some of that shit can and should be done through free agency...

Now, I'm a believer that there is no point in getting your franchise QB if you aren't going to give him the weapons and protection he needs...So no matter who that is, the Browns really need to get those pieces...But Griffin seems to be one of those rare talents that you may never get another chance at...For the critics, did you see, he's not under 6 foot...He measured in at 6 foot 2 inches plus...Oh, and then he ran the 40 in 4.41...But don't be confused...RG3 has always been a throw first, run only when needed guy...So don't stick him with the labels that are always put on black QB's...Kid can make all the throws...

So, I'm all in with doing what has to be done to get RG3 in Cleveland...Shit Brownies, just think of all the #10 jerseys you'll sell! Browns fans will finally have a QB that they are really excited about...Who was the last? Bernie Kosar! And he couldn't run at all!

Monday is the Trade Deadline in the NHL....Everyone is waiting to see if Columbus moves star, captain, franchise leader, and heart & soul, Rick Nash...I hope not, unless it;s to the New York Rangers!

I'll be watching all the deadline deals, while I sit on the shitter...

Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Welcome, howdy and good day Gabbers and others to the Daytona 500. Since most of you are a little on the uneducated side, not to worry, I got you covered. There is so much fun to get into so lets do it.

Our first stop is the first Daytona 500. Actually it was called The 500 Mile NASCAR International Sweepstakes. It took place on February 3, 1959 and cost $8 for admission. A crowd of 41,921 watched for 3 hours and 41 minutes to see a photo finish. It took 3 days for Lee Petty (Richard's dad) to be announced the winner over Johnny Beauchamp. The pole speed was 143.198. Compared with Carl Edwards pole winning speed last Saturday of 194.738 and that was with a restrictor plate on. There were 59 cars in that race which is still a record today but only 31 finished due to wrecks and mechanical failures. 

In 1968 Cale Yarborough sling shot his #21 Wood Brothers Mercury past LeeRoy Yarborough  for the victory.

In 1976 Petty and Pearson were battling their way around the track on the last lap beatin' and bangin' till coming into turn 3 Pearson hit the wall hard and spun down into the grass. Petty appeared to save it only to take a 90 degree turn into the wall. Pearson kept his car running and limped to the finish line. Petty's crew tried to push start him but it never refired.

In 1979 we had our first live flag to flag race coverage on TV of the Daytona 500. Cale Yarborough, Bobby Allison(one lap down due to earlier encounter with Donnie & Cale) and Donnie Allison were coming to the finish line. Darrel Waltrip, Richard Petty and AJ Foyt were a half lap behind. Cale goes low under Donnie. Donnie moves down on Cale pushing him further onto the apron and into the grass. They make contact sliding up the track and hard into the wall before spinning back down into the grass. Bobby stops to see if every body is ok. Gloves and helmets start to fly as Petty drives to victory.

In 1980 Buddy Baker wins setting an average race speed record of 177.602 mph.

In 1981 Petty brought home his Buick to a win due to crew chief Dale Inman calling for a gas and go. Everyone else took gas and right side tires. The 7 second pit stop gave him the win over Donnie Allison by 4 seconds. Petty said,"We out thunk 'em there at the end."

In 1987 Bill Elliot sets a qualifying speed record of 210.364 mph. Later that year Bobby Allison has a bad wreck at Dega and NASCAR introduces the restrictor plate to slow the cars down the following year.

In 1989 Darrel Waltrip brings it home for a win in his 17th try in the #17 Tide car. Upon getting out of the car we were treated to a delightful jig and helmet spike as he kept saying over and over...I WON THE DAYTONA 500. I WON THE DAYTONA 500.

In 2001 Micheal Waltrip wins but we lose Dale Earnhardt Sr who spins out and hits the wall head on while blocking for Micheal and his son Jr. This is the beginning of NASCAR mandated safety equipment changes.

In 2007 Kevin Harvick snags victory from Mark Martin. As they come to the line Harvick drives through a huge wreck to pass Martin for the win. Martin was wondering why no caution was called. So was I. Harvick got $1,510,469 in winnings. In 1959 Lee Petty got $19,050 for his win.

In 2011 Trevor Bayne took his #21 Wood Brothers Ford to victory lane. The youngest driver ever to do so.

DAYTONA FUN FACTS

Daytona is a 2.5 mile D shaped oval or tri-oval. It has 31 degrees of banking in the turns, 18 degrees in the tri-oval and 6 degrees in the straight aways. It seats about 168,000. Pit road speed is 55mph. Qualifying is a combination of regular qualifying laps, the Gatorade Duels results, the top 35 in owners points and champions provisionals. 

At Daytona and Talladega for safety reasons while the race is in progress there is no going below the yellow line to advance your position. If you do go below the yellow line due to a wreck avoidance or your pushed there all you do is give back the position  and you won't get a penalty. If you don't, you get a black flag. That usually means you come into the pits where you park for a lap or they let you drive through at 55 mph and you'll be separated from the pack which means either way, you're screwed. So if you find yourself racing in the Daytona 500, DON'T GO BELOW THE YELLOW LINE.

Since last years 2 car tandem draft was not to NASCAR's liking they've introduced new changes to the cars just for Daytona and Dega to end all that. The rear spoiler was shortened. Makes the car more squirrelly in traffic. Side drafts are killer as was evident in the Bud Shootout Saturday the 18th. They've also made the radiators smaller and dialed back the valve that opens it up when the engine over heats. This ensures the cars won't tandem draft for more than 3 laps before over heating becomes an issue. The grill opening was moved to keep the cars from sucking up so nicely to the one in front. Lastly driver to driver communication was banned except through the spotters. This is what I know as of today. NASCAR was talking about more modifications after watching Saturdays race. 

NASCAR has decided to give a $200,000 bonus to the driver leading at the half way lap. So I'm wondering if whoever is leading will share that with the person that helps them get there if help was required.

The cars will be running E15. The fuel injection system will be there as well. Manufacturers were asking NASCAR to get back to the "Race on Sunday,buy on Monday" mantra. So fuel injection has been brought in with body style changes more befitting of the manufacturers in 2013. So I'm sure you'll all run right out and buy a Ford Focus when you see how fast Carl Edwards goes. He did beat out his team mate Greg Biffle for the Daytona pole. 

OTHER THINGS TO KNOW LIKE SAFETY  INNOVATIONS

Since Dale Sr's passing NASCAR has put safety on the fast track. No driver has been lost since. There have been some hellacious wrecks too. At Pocono Elliot Sadler hit a concrete wall in the grass so hard his motor flew out onto the track. He crawled out on his own and was only winded. When I saw it I thought he was heading for the emergency room in a helicopter. 

The HANS devises drivers were trying out became mandatory as well as full face helmets. The drivers seat was moved towards the center of the car a few inches. Foam linings were put in the drivers door. What they call safer barriers were installed at the tracks. A barrier starts with the concrete wall then styrofoam insulation blocks placed next and then hollow steel tubing on the outside. Drivers have credited this wall for their safety and after wrecks they've thanked NASCAR for the softer wall. 

WE'VE GOT FLAGS TOO

GREEN FLAG - Track is clear....GO LIKE HELL

WHITE FLAG - One lap to go

YELLOW FLAG - It's raining or there's a wreck or competition caution to check your equipment. Whatever the reason you must slow down and get behind the pace car.

CHECKERED FLAG - Race is over....The End

RED FLAG - Track is blocked due to a wreck or  dead car or it's raining. Go to designated area, usually the pit area  if rain or stop right where the pace car is till the track is clean and green.

BLACK FLAG - If it's waved at you then you broke a rule or your car need maintenance due to a wreck or parts failure. You need to go to the pits for consultation with a NASCAR official or get your car fixed.

BLACK FLAG with WHITE STRIPE - If you ignore the black flag you get this one which means they've stopped scoring you and you best get to pit road.....NOW.

BLUE with YELLOW STRIPE - Pay attention there are faster cars coming up on your bumper. Doesn't mean you pull over just pay attention.

YELLOW & RED VERTICAL STRIPES - Used on road courses to tell a driver there is debris or slippery conditions ahead.

HOW ABOUT THOSE POINTS

--- Any driver who leads a lap gets 1 pt

--- Any driver who leads the most laps gets 1 pt

--- Race winner receives 3 pt

--- Drivers get points according to where they finish in reverse order. Example : First place gets 43 pts, 2nd gets 42 pts, 3rd gets 41pts  in descending order all the way to 43rd place getting 1 pt.

--- Maximum points for one race is 48. So that's 43 pts for winning, 1 pt for leading a lap, 1 pt for leading the most laps and 3 pts for winning. 

INTO THE CHASE

The Chase was introduced in 2004 to get more drivers into the hunt and intensify fan interest as well as the drama. It didn't work for me till last year. What Tony Stewart did was intense.

The first 26 point races of the 36 race season count towards getting into the Chase. No, the All - Star race in Charlotte doesn't count. It's a million dollars, a trophy and ring only. The guys don't care though. The top 10 drivers in the point standings are in. Then we have 2 wild cards which are determined by who has the most wins and is in 11th through 20th place in the points standing. If there's a tie then where they are in the point standings takes the wild card.

At the beginning of the Chase the points are reset to 2000 for the 12 who are in the Chase. For the top 10 drivers 3 pts are added for every regular season victory. The wild card drivers only get the 2000 points. 

The drivers outside the top 12 go on racing for wins, prize money and points as before. They're just not eligible to win the championship.

The Chas Champion is the one with the highest amount of points. Of course last year we saw Tony and Carl tied at the end in which case Tony won due to the tie breaker which was his 5 wins in the Chase to Carl's zero wins.

SHOW ME THE MONEY

Winning the race doesn't mean you get the most money. The track purse is divided up according to where you place at the end of the race. With the most going to the winner and the rest less in descending order. Then there's bonus programs for manufacturer decals on your car or patches on your uniform and don't forget to drink your Coke or Gatorade during your interview. Those TV spots make the sponsors happy and you'll get some bucks for it too. Then you have the Front Runner bonus for $10,000 to the driver leading the most laps regardless if he wins or not. How about the Leader Bonus? If you win the race AND happen to be the points leader also at the end of that race you win what's in the kitty. The prize goes up by $10,000 every time nobody wins it.

DAMN RULES

Besides the no going over the yellow line to advance your position you have some others. During double file restarts you may not advance your position until you reach the start finish line. So you let the leader touch it first and then you can pass him when you clear that line. That holds true for everyone all the way back. No passing till you get over the line.

Pit road speed can be a killer to your race win hopes. Speed limit is 55 mph unless otherwise stated. A driver looks at his tachometer to tell him what speed he's at. The pace car is used to determine the rpms your at when 55mph is reached. Usually the field is split in 2 so that a more accurate reading can be reached. Timing lines are used. No radar guns. This results in some interesting pit road happenings. Guys who have a pit box on the line will jump out and speed to the next line passing 1 or more cars with that move. It's legal if you remember to whoa down at the next line. Pit box selection can be crucial. Favorite boxes are both ends, the boxes in front of the garage entrance and boxes on the timing lines.

When a pit stop is on drivers must wait to exit till all pit equipment is inside the box and tires are at the wall and under control. No running over your air hose that's attached to the air wrench and no taking equipment with you like a wrench in the back window or before the catch can man was eliminated the catch can got taken for a ride around the track on a few occasions.

Only 6 guys are aloud over the wall on a pit stop. The jackman, gasman 2 tire changers and 2 tire carriers. The catch can man used to do the wrench in the back window adjustment but now that is done by whoever is more convenient to train. With the new gas cans the stops are a little slower. It used to be the gas and tires were done at the same time. Now they wait on the gasman before dropping the jack which is usually the drivers signal to go. 

If you run out of fuel or your car stalls on pit road, your crew may only push you for 3 stalls. If you don't get it started you get pushed back and try again. Will be interesting to see how this plays out with fuel injection. I'm interested to see how long it takes.

When the caution flag flies you slow down to caution speed. NO, YOU MAY NOT USE THIS TIME TO WRECK SOMEBODY. The running order is frozen at the moment of the caution flag and determined by transponders all over the track  They used to race back to the line when the caution flag flew but when Dale Jarret's car wouldn't fire up he was a sitting duck as everyone zipped by him. 

If your in a wreck, even if it's just a fender bender you must go to the infield care center. This rule was brought about in the middle of the 80's when Ricky Rudd wrecked in the then Busch series at Daytona. He refused treatment and went on to race in the Daytona 500 the next day with the Winston Cup drivers. When he got out it was noticed his face was so swollen he taped his eyes open so he could race. I watched that wreck on You Tube recently and it was scary. I didn't remember that he came that close to hitting the end of the infield wall. He was still handsome even with a swollen face. Wish he'd come back to Cup racing.

OTHER STUFF 

Well the rumor that somebody bought the RedBull assets is not a rumor any more. It seems a group of investers got together to form BK Racing. Landon Cassil in the #83 and David Ruetimann will share the #93 with Kvapl. They will be staying with Toyota. Richard Petty announced Smithfield Foods will sponsor the #43 car.  Zest soap has signed on with Matt Kenseth as a primary sponsor. Casey Mears will drive the Geico #13 Ford for Germain Racing. Elliot Sadler is getting a chance in Cup again. RCR is letting him drive the vacated #33 sponsored by General Mills and Kroger. For those of you who remember Ward Burton (brother of Jeff Burton), he'll be racing the #27 truck for new team Hillman Racing.

So on February 26 on FOX we'll see what the cards bring. John Cena of WWE fame will be dropping the green flag. I personally believe it will be a wreckfest just like the Bud Shootout. There were only 25 drivers too. This race is a crap shoot. Plain and simple. Luck is key. If you can stay out of everybody else mess and survive to the end you have a chance. Kyle Busch proved your car doesn't have to be perfect like in years past to win it when he took his battered car and pushed Tony Stewart ahead of everyone to then sneak out and steal the win. 

Danica Patrick will be making the first of 10 race starts here at Daytona. She will be only the 3rd woman to race in the Daytona 500. Will her Indycar experience get her a win or even a top 10? I personally think this is her best chance to shine. The speeds are right up her alley. The cars are set up to skate like they're on ice. I'm thinking that's close to the Indycars and their propensity to be kites. Also right up her alley. She has Stewart as a team mate who has an Indycar championship so he'll show her the way. She just has to go there.

So hopefully I've explained a few things, delighted the trivia fans and helped a few more onto a better understanding of my most favorite sport. As always, if you have a question or just want to comment feel free to do so and have an awesome day..........

                                       BECAUSE YOU GOTTA NUKE SOMETHIN' 

  Happy Saturday Gabitants, and welcome to Sexy Action Sports Saturday with IHM... well, it's not sexy, and there's really no action... but it IS sports. I've got a few rants up my sleeve for today, but first, I'll start out by giving props to a guy I think is one of the classiest in all of sports... Mr. Albert Pujols.

  Earlier this week, Pujols asked the Angels organization to remove several billboards around town which featured his image next to the nickname "El Hombre", or, "The Man". Pujols, who rejected the nickname in St.Louis out of respect for the legendary Stan Musial, continues to pay homage to one of the game's great men by continuing to ask people not to call him that. It's not very often nowadays you see a current player with some actual respect for those who came before them... but it's not every day you find a class act like Pujols, either. Yet another example of why we need more people like this to drown out the constant flow of douchebaggery coming out of the world of professional sports these days. 

  Next order of business; gotta mention and congratulate the Simpsons on their 500th episode last Sunday. I watched it, the first new episode I've watched in a long time... wasn't as good as it used to be, and hell, the Simpsons hasn't been as good as it once was in about five years now. But damnit, if any show on television deserves an extended run, far past the time it was worth watching, it's the show that basically FUNDED the entire FOX network, and that paved the way for all other animated tv shows that came after it. I've had a million laughs thanks to the show, and through the magic of syndication, I'll have a million more. Thanks for the memories. The lead photo and caption are Simpsons quotes, and just for the hell of it, here are a few of my favorite Simpsons moments...

  Of course there was this cameo by Oscar Winner George C. Scott...

  And, my personal favorite, their constant references to Charles Bronson...

  Of course, I could spend the entire rest of the day coming up with great clips to add to these... but those are just a few of my favorites. If you have a personal favorite to share, be sure to do so in the comments below!

  Gotta be honest with you all... the NBA is actually becoming slightly tolerable to me in recent weeks! I've made the consious effort to NOT watch NBA basketball in lieu of the lockout, David Stern being a fucking moron, LeDouche being... well, LeDouche, and all the other jagoffs that make up the NBA's roster of talent... but over the past couple weeks, I have had a harder time ignoring it. Maybe it's because football is gone, and baseball is not yet here... but I've actually watched NBA games in their entirety for the first time in around three years this season. There really are some decent stories out there right now, most of which are overexposed, like Jeremy Lin... but other guys like Kevin Durant continue to just keep their mouths shut and produce on the court... same with Kevin Love (aside from the NBA's version of the Suh-Stomp). Hell, even a few of the "small market" teams, like Indiana, Oklahoma City, and the Clippers (yeah, they're not "small market", but they are the "little brother" of LA) are either in the playoff hunt or winning their divisions. Hey, even the Pistons are starting to play like a professional team and not just a bunch of pussbag quitters just collecting a paycheck. Might not be the NBA I grew up loving, but for right now, it's watchable for me... and with the lack of competition it has for my attention right now, I guess it'll get a few more weeks worth of a look out of me. 

  Since I'm talking basketball here... just have to ask: What the fuck is Rick Pitino doing as a finalist for the basketball Hall of Fame? Seriously... what the fuck? The man has committed NUMEROUS infractions during his NCAA coaching career... he stunk up the joint in Boston in the NBA... I mean, what the fuck is going on with the hall of fame stuff these days? Is it a hall of fame, a shrine to the greatest ever involved in the game... or is it a hall of people that someone has fucking heard of... as long as a lot of people know the name, you're in? 

  Another thing that really pissed me off this week: how about 25 years? What's that, you ask... that's the sentence handed down to George Hugely, the former Virginia lacrosse player convicted of somehow only second-degree murder in the killing of his former girlfriend and University of Virginia classmate. This fucking silver-spoon fed douchebag murders an innocent woman, and he's going to be out of fucking prison before he's 40 years old, living large off of whatever fucking trust fund mommy and daddy leave behind for him while each and every one of us continues to eek out a living. Where the fuck is the justice in any of that? Just goes to show you the kind of sentence money can buy you these days. 

  Well, last week, I introduced the "Shut the Fuck Up Awards", given weekly to the person in the world of sports you'd most like to see shut the fuck up! Well, this week, I'm going to go in a slightly different direction. Instead of "Shut the Fuck", this week it's "Get the Fuck Out", and there is no vote. For just about every team I root for, and in just about every walk of life, there is that person or player you just want to get the fuck out... to never have to see or to deal with again. Well, this week, I'll give you my "Get the Fuck Out" player for the Pistons, Tigers and Lions, and a couple of other folks just for good measure. This week's audience participation: Let's hear some of the people on your teams you'd like to give a one way ticket the fuck out of town... As for me, here they are:

  The Detroit Tigers: Brandon Inge

  Honestly, this guy is hardly even worth the amount of time and energy people in this town seem to want to spend on him. He can't hit a lick... he USED to be a hell of a defensive player before his knees went to shit... and he's got a big fucking mouth coupled with an undeserved sense of entitlement. The day he refused to back up at catcher was the day I knew I'd never respect or root for him again. Hell, he was involved in a minor car accident earlier this year, and the joke going around town was that the car he hit was the "first thing he'd hit in two years"! If you won't be a backup at catcher, you're not even worth the roster space you're taking up. So shut the fuck up or get the fuck out Inge... and don't let the door hit 'ya where the Good Lord split 'ya!

  The Detroit Pistons: Tayshaun Prince

  Last year... I don't fucking care WHY... the Detroit Pistons quit on their head basketball coach. In doing so, they not only quit on their coach, they quit on the fans that pay their fucking salaries as well. Tayshaun Prince was no exception. In fact, aside from a blocked shot on Reggie Miller's layup attempt during their '04 title run, Tayshaun Prince hasn't done a damn thing in a Piston uniform. He isn't aggressive on offense... he's not the defensive player he used to be... he was DONE two or three years ago. I guess that's understandable when you go around looking like an emaciated fucking stray dog! I was hoping that Joe Dumars would finally show you the door this offseason... but CLEARLY that isn't going to happen. Get the fuck out... and go get a fucking cheeseburger you goddamned waif!

  The Detroit Lions: Stefan Logan

  This past season, the Detroit Lions took a huge step forward, winning ten games and making the playoffs for the first time since 1999! One of the main reasons for that was NOT this man. He barely did anything aside from the return game, then he does boneheaded shit like tossing a ball at an opponent during a game. You are a kick returner... and not a very good one (average at best), and we got you off the shit heap after the Steelers didn't want you. I'd be more than happy to simply throw you back on that heap right now.

   Media/Attention Whore: Al Sharpton

  A few weeks ago, irrelevant, faded pop star Whitney Houston died in a California hotel room... and who was one of the first to offer his two cents but this fucking tool. Any time anybody hears the sound of an opinion nobody fucking asked for... this guy is the one shitting it out of his mouth. You look like a wishing troll that survived a house fire! Do the world a favor and just get the fuck out of here, Sharpton. 

  ESPN "Personalities": Too many to mention here!

  Whether it's Stephen A. Smith, Chris Broussard, Skip Bayliss, Ed Werder, or even "draft expert" Mel Kiper... is there ANYBODY at this network that isn't a fucking douchebag? There are a lot of things I'd like to hear on ESPN's airwaves... such as "This is Ed Werder, reporting live from Dallas" only to have the anchor back in studio stop him to let him know he's still got a bit of Jerry Jones' jizz in his mustache; or "The ESPN network is being sued for copyright infringement by the creators of South Park due to obvious similarities between our John Clayton and their Mr.Mackey." I can barely stand to watch the network on mute anymore to read the scroll along the bottom for scores and information... because none of it ever pertains to anything I give a fuck about... mostly because I couldn't give a fuck less what is happening in New York, LA, or Miami. Get the fuck out of here ESPN... and please, for the love of GOD, somebody out there create a worthwhile sports network. 

  Those are my Get the Fuck Out awards... what are yours? Get your shots in at anybody you want to in the comments section below! 

  And because it's Saturday, and Saturday is by far the most badassed day of the week, here is your badass song of the week: 

  That's all I've got for this week, folks. Thanks as always for reading, and for any comments you leave on the way out.