This Weeks Column is Sponsored By HAVESOME!!! As seen here chillingly delivered by the Bulls Taj Gibson on D-Wade

HAVESOME!!! So good, It’ll make you Say Daaaaaaaamn!

Greetings from the Hoodwood, where the local deli is scrambling to figure out all the meats in the various “fanwiches” to serve to you when you visit.

Now I’m gonna start this weeks column with something that might make you think that the world has suddenly gone mad. Im agreeing with Rush Limbaugh. Now wait, before you start an investigation, hear me out. I don’t like the man, I think he’s a bigot and more times than not a fucking idiot but when he took the side of Donovan McNabb who was being called out by Bernard Hopkins for not being black enough, I was stunned. Remember this was the same dumb ass who said in 2003 that “the media was desirous of a black quarterback to do well in the NFL” But though I agree with the notion that McNabb should not be lambasted just because he grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and was raised by both parents. I don’t like Limbaugh’s hint, hint wink, wink lets divide black folks rhetoric. I like B-Hop but he was a little off base here. He does go on rants and just because he was in prison give him a street toughness that McNabb or your humble scribe may never have. But Limbaugh wasn’t trying to champion McNabb, his shit talking doesn’t fool me.

Conference Finals Tip-Off or Media Rip-Off?

Don’t get me started on the NBA and ESPN beign plenty annoyed that the Mavs and Thunder are in the West finals. Dallas is plenty big (#7 media market) but the Thunder play in the #45 media market. I mean no disrespect to the proud Oklahomans who have been fiercely loyal to the first pro team to call Brick City home but they’re smaller than Columbus, Seattle, Pittsburgh and Baltimore which are considered small markets but are bigger than OKC. The TV execs are praying for a Dallas sweep, meanwhile in  the East the Bulls and Heat are on TNT to the NBA’s chagrin and not getting the kind of exposure that they feel the #3 and #17 markets deserve. You know whats funny? The Cavs cry about being a small market team but Miami is smaller than they are in market size. Dunno, just a random thought. Anyway the series that the NBA is hoping will go 7 is on TNT. The NBA is hoping for 2 big markets to finish strong and despite a likeable team in OKC hope that their ride is over before the bright lights of the Finals turn on. Think I’m lying? Watch how many calls Dallas will get in the West Finals.

O-H uh-OH!

Last week I started with a billboard that tweaked the supposedly saintly reputation of Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel who will be sitting out his teams first 5 games for his role in Tattoo-Gate. But the more the harsh spotlight shines on the Buckeyes the more that their transgressions come out, the cars that were sold a a reduced rate the trinkets that were sold, the freebies that seem to fall all over the Bucks. Now your humble scribe has been in Columbus many times and has friends in that area but it seems that the transgressions that the Bucks have done have long been wink winked and pooh poohed by the local who are still scrambling to defend them.  Im thinking that there will be a whole lot m ore shit hitting the fan about THE Ohio State University before too long and its gonna be a hard long fall.  Don’t think that I wont be amused and say that I told you so.

Phat Dap/Head Slap

Phat Dap

to Chad “OchoCinco” Johnson who is a braver man than I’ll ever be here.

You see the look on pro rider Ty Murray’s face? He’s got that to quote the late Richard Pryor “That Nigga’s Crazy!” look on his face. But kudos to Chad who took the 10K that he was offered for staying on for 1.5 seconds and donating it to charity.

Head Slap

You wonder if the Cincinnati Reds Brandon Phillips was right, no the slap isn’t to the locquacious second baseman but to Chris Carpenter who was the definition of a whiny bitch after complaining after the Reds completed a three game weekend sweep of the Cards about the quality of Great American BallPark’s mound and that smoke pouring from the smokestacks in center field saluting a Reds home run (that he just gave up) bothered him. Hey Chrissy here’s a free tip, don’t give up the gopher balls and the Reds have no reason to shoot fireworks or blow smoke.

Before we wrap it up this week, the Hoodwood would like to give a moment of silence in remembrance of Derek Boogaard of the New York Rangers and Aaron Douglas of the Albama Crimson Tide who were both found dead recently. Douglas was a promising lineman who had transferred to Alabama from Tennessee by way of Arizona Western he was 21. A number of his teammates from both Tennessee and Alabama as well as a host of other coaches and family came to pay their resepcts. It says a lot when Bama still dealing with the tornado that pounded Tuscaloosa had to deal with another such  tragedy so soon. Boogaard, know as the Boogey man was a brawling  fan favorite in Minnesota where he had played a number of years and had struggled in through his first year with the New York Rangers after signing a free agent deal last summer. Boogard was found in his Minneapolis apartment where he kept his residence to train in the summer, he was 28. If you get a chance this week, peep out ESPN’s John Saunders eloquent parting shot about Boogaard and hoping that his fighting and concussions did not lead to his death. Also Hoodwood has lowered its flags to half staff in remembrance of the great Twins slugger Harmon Killebrew who lost his fight against cancer. Killebrew was the first major star of the Twins whose 573 homers was 5th at the time of his retirement in 1975. When I first moved to Minnesota in1997 and visited Mall of America for the first time, I noticed a single bleacher chair hanging high up on a will in center court. I noticed shortly after the home plate which was the app roximate location of the home plate of the old Metropolitan Stadium where the Twins played in their first 20 years of existance. The chair represented the distance of the longest homer (523 feet)  hit in the old Met, the Twins also marked a spot in their new digs which would equal the length of the blast.

So we don’t end the week on a down note, I mentioned him earlier and here’s a raucous, raunchy clip from one of the Hoodwood’s favorite comedian’s the late great Richard Pryor.

That’s The View From The Hoodwood. Until Next Post Fellow Sports Fans!

What's up Gabbers? There's not a lot going on in sports this week, so bear with me as I struggle to find things to talk about.

I would like to start out by expressing my condolences to the family and friends of former New York Ranger Derek Boogaard, who passed away unexpectedly last week. I don't know anything about him, so I'm going to defer to some of our hockey experts regarding his career, but I will say that it's a damn shame that the world lost someone so young.

Moving to the NBA, I'm a little disappointed that the Hawks weren't able to take down the Bulls in the NBA like I hoped they would, but it's all good. On the bright side, the Lakers are done, and hopefully the Heat are going to choke in the Conference Finals so we can all sit back and enjoy seeing LeBron lose again (while being able to actually stomach the NBA Finals without it being a constant LeBron blow job).

Anyway, that's all the NBA I'm going to talk this week, for fear that I might turn into an NBA fan from talking about it so much.

There's nothing to talk about in the NFL either, as the billionaires and millionaires are still bitching over how to split insane amounts of money, and are driving fans further and further away from the game. So I'm going to back away slowly from that one before I get angry. (And you won't like me if I'm angry.)

In baseball, I'm sick and tired of seeing the talking heads at ESPN going on and on and on about Jorge Posada. Look guys, he said he didn't want to bat 9th. It's not the end of the world, and it's not a life-changing event. It's a guy who bitched about being demoted in the batting order. Can we please stop talking about it now? Please?

I don't know how many of you watched the Civil Rights game between the Braves and Phillies, but it was pretty cool to see the opening ceremony with Hank Aaron, Morgan Freeman, Carlos Santana, and Ernie Banks. It was also cool to see Carlos Santana using his award reception speech to blast the state of Arizona by saying "you all should be ashamed of yourselves". Now, I'm not going to get political here (I'll let Beeze handle the politics), but whether you agree with him or not, you have to give him props for having the balls to get up and say that on live tv. Of course, I'm not surprised because Carlos Santana is certified bad ass, especially on the guitar.

On that note, here's a video for your pleasure.

With that, I'm going to close up shop for this week, as I'm all out of things to say. Like always, if you have anything to say, feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

Until next Monday...

When I think of this year’s NHL playoffs I think of the teams that normally end up in the second season, Pittsburgh, Washington, Detroit and New Jersey and with them the poster boys of the NHL Crosby and Ovechkin. But this year we’ve seen a turning of the tide, no more Nicklas Lidstrom vying for another Cup, no white towels will be waved in Pittsburgh, the Capitals once again showed they are one dimensional and ride the back of one line and not a whole lot more and the Devils are rebuilding. Yeah, this post season we’ve got Bergeron and Thomas, Lecavalier and St. Louis, Thornton and Marleau, the Sedin’s and Luongo…for some these are household names, for the casual fan it’s more like WHO are these guys?

The two teams from the West have never won a Stanley Cup, the two from the East each have, with TB doing so in ’03-’04 and Boston winning there last of 5 Cups in the ’71-’72 season. To this point we’ve enjoyed great matchups with tons of terrific hockey, what else do you expect from the fastest game on two legs? The Bruins had to deal first with their arch rival and Original Six nemeses the Montreal Canadians, who stole the first 2 games in Boston, the Bruins then went on to win the next four of five, three in OT including game seven in Boston. Following that Boston knocked out the Flyers in four straight to erase any memory of that implosion last year when Philly came back from a 3-1 series deficit to win the series. Now they enter the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time since ’92 and host the Tampa Bay Lightning beginning tonight at 8 pm. Both teams swept their final series and have been off for close to 2 weeks, needless to say they’re itching to get back in action.

In the West it’s the San Jose Sharks and Vancouver Canucks. The Sharks, who never seem to do anything the easy way, had a 3-0 lead on the Red Wings, lost the next three and took game seven Thursday night in a tight fought game in San Jose. They had gone six games with the L.A. Kings in the first round. Vancouver another of those teams who look like a pretender more than a contender usually, found themselves making their path to the Conference finals difficult doing the same as San Jose in the first round having a 3-0 lead only to cough it up against the defending Stanley Cup champs and winning in seven at home, they followed that up with a six game series against the pesky Nashville Predators.

San Jose found a way to pull out of a grueling series with the Red Wings, I’m just not sure they’ll have the gas or the luck for that matter to go that kind of distance again with the Canucks, but if Roberto Luongo performs like he did against the Black Hawks the Sharks might just find themselves moving onto the finals. It’s clear that how the goaltending goes so goes the series for both of these teams. The west series begins Sunday night in Vancouver. In the East the homer comes out of me and I’ll take Boston in 6 games, for the West I’ll go with Vancouver in 6.

In other news, last night NY Rangers enforcer Derek Boogaard, 28, was found dead in his Minneapolis apartment. There have been no details given as to the cause and it may not be known for weeks.

The NY Islanders signed rookie Michael Grabner today to a 5 year $15 million contact, he had 34 goals and was 3^rd on the Isles with 54 points. Grabner is one of 3 finalists for this year’s Calder trophy which is given annually to the league’s top rookie. Other finalists this season are San Jose’s Logan Couture and Carolina’s Jeff Skinner.

It’s looking more and more like the Atlanta Thrashers won’t be in Georgia next season, regardless of what the few Billy Ray Jim Bob’s down here who go to the game would like to believe. An article posted in today’s Toronto Sun has quotes from Atlanta owner Bruce Levenson saying before the Bulls-Hawks game (who he owns as well, along with Philips arena and are being sold as a package deal if possible) that they are no closer to finding a local owner than they were a year ago. Here’s that interview, watch and listen to this tool, particularly when he answers the question about what is it he’d say to the fans, I’ll give you a hint, he’s not going to be begging them to buy season tickets to help the cause. Talk about wanting to get out of town.

Hotch will return next week! Enjoy the playoffs Gabbers!

It is always a sad moment to watch when baseball’s greats finally come to the realization that age has caught up to them and that it is the time to retire.  I have watched the retirements of super-stars such as Mantle, Mays, Aaron, Frank Robinson, Musial, Williams, and Berra to name but a few.  One of my favorite sluggers when I was a young man was Harmon Killebrew.   Players that are so good at hitting a baseball as he never want to give up the game.  Imagine what it must be like to Harmon to tell his fans and family that he must give up his fight with cancer and retire to a hospice to live out the rest of his life without doctors and the hope of ever recovering.   We fans of baseball are forever grateful for the thrill of being able to watch you perform so magnificently on the diamonds of baseball Mr. Killebrew.  You have left a legacy to baseball that will forever be remembered and you will never be forgotten by the fans of our national pastime or by the passage of time. 

Being at an age of seniority, I feel a need to reach out and to mention these great athletes like Harmon Killebrew who younger fans may have never seen or even heard about.  When I was about 12 years old, I began the study of the greats of the game who came and left before my time on this planet.  I may have not ever seen guys like Ruth, Hornsby, Sisler, Foxx, DiMaggio, Cobb, Ott, and Greenberg ever take the field, but as a student of our National Pastime I certainly became to know of their exploits.  The #1 thing I have on my bucket list is to visit Cooperstown and baseball’s Hall of Fame.  God willing, I will do it before my journey on our small, spinning, watery planet ends.

I may have not seen any of the old timers play, I but I gave myself the opportunity to interview some of them.  Around 1983 or so, Joe Cronin was on a sports talk show on KTAR Radio 620 here in Phoenix.  Joe was a solid American League shortstop who had a career .301 batting average and who was elected to the Hall of Fame in 1956.  I called in and asked Joe about the 1930 baseball season, a season in which he hit .346, his highest batting average ever for a single season.  I asked him if he remembered anything specific about that season, which was the greatest hitting season in baseball history.  He told me that it did not seem any different hitting in that season than any other.  What a thrill, talking to a star player for the 1920s and 1930s even if age had taken away some of his memories.

I  had the opportunity to talk to the great Willie McCovey on KTAR also in 1983.  Willie broke in with the San Francisco Giants in 1959 hitting .354 in 52 games.  I told him that I had actually listened to his first game ever on the radio when I was 12 years old, a game in which he had 4 hits, two singles and 2 doubles.  I asked him how he felt after that game, and if he felt he that belonged in the big leagues. He told me that his entire career was a dream, that he could not believe any of it, right up to the time that he was elected to the Hall of Fame!  What a humble guy he was.

Then there was the time that I called up KTAR to talk to Arthur C. Clark about his science fiction novels and specifically “2001, A Space Odyssey”.   I said to him how cool it was that he had named the computer HAL.  He asked me what I meant by “cool”.  I said that it was just one letter off in the alphabet from computer giant IBM.  He answered, “My goodness, I never realized that before”!  That was a classic radio talk show sound bite!  (Was he serious?)

Then there was the time that I actually became a classic sound bite in KTAR’s advertising when I asked a member of the Moody Blues, “Who was the great poet who wrote the lines to “Late Lament”?  He (Graeme Edge) chillingly answered, “That would be me” and uttered:

“Breathe deep the gathering gloom,
Watch lights fade from every room.
   Bedsitter people look back and lament,
Another day's useless energy spent.
Impassioned lovers wrestle as one,
Lonely man cries for love and has none.
New mother picks up and suckles her son,
Senior citizens wish they were young.
Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colours from our sight.
Red is grey and yellow white.
But we decide which is right.
And which is an illusion?”

KTAR used that sound bite for years; I cannot say that I blame them!   As an aside, I believe it a travesty that The Moody Blues are not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Welcome to The Fry Day Blog

Today dvt fries Lebron again...

Ho hum...

Now...

Now that the Spurs and Lakers are history..

Now that I have disposed of the Celtics...

Now that the Cavaliers are just a long distance memory...

I guess it's time...

I guess it's time now...

I guess it's time to apologize...

I guess it's time to apologize to Cleveland...

"I apologize for the way it happened..."

Now that everything is going my way...

Now that things seem to be just fine and dandy...

Now that I am on the cusp of my first title...

Now that the coast is clear...

Now that everybody has forgotten our mental lapses during the season...

Now it's time to apologize...

"...for the way it happened...."

I'm sorry...

So sorry...

Please accept...

My apology...

Now I can talk about it candidly, Cleveland...

Now that they are sizing the ring for my finger...

So here we go, Cleveland...

I apologize...

You see...

"I knew deep down in my heart,

as much as I loved my teammates back in Cleveland

and as much as I loved home,

I knew it couldn't do it by myself against that team..."

All by my self...

All by my self..

Don't wanna play...

All by my self...      

All by my self...

My self...

The self that belongs to me...

One player on a roster of twelve...

But the other eleven never showed up...

I was all by my self...

Not myself...

Not one word myself...

But two words...

MY SELF...

I wanted to win...

But a team of one can't win...

Just me...

Just me by my lonesome...

"I knew this opportunity was once in a lifetime.

To be able to come down here

and pair with two guys and this organization-

in order for me to move on with my career,

that team that we just defeated,

we had to go through them."

Oh, lonesome me...  

Yes, Lebron...

Oh, lonesome you...

You had to leave...

We understand that...

And for the one zillionth time...

THAT is not our argument with you...

It is not THAT you left...

It's HOW you left...

HOW, Lebron, HOW...

Enjoy your ring if you get it...

You probably will...

Just remember HOW you got it...

dvt

PHOTO

 http://www.crunchgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/sin-city-death-row-marv-electric-chair-figure.jpg

VIDEO

"I'm Sorry": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEMjeYPfqSg

"All by Myself":  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUnptsTubYk

"Oh, Lonesome Me":  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rle81ljCxmM