Why Golf Sucks!!!
Category: Golf/Tennis
Tags: PGA

This is why golf sucks.

A fat fucker, drinking beer, watching a PGA event on TV, anywhere in the world, can watch the game and call up the PGA and tell them that one of the players violated a rule. Now mind you there are many PGA officials at every event and they know all the rules. So how come they have to wait until this fucker calls and tells them Tiger screwed up.

Simply put, the PGA should use the motto "What's laid is played." If you screw your card up, or don't put your ball back at the same spot, and no one notices tough shit.

Belly Putter?
Category: Golf/Tennis
Tags: pga golf



Now that the Catholic cardinals have assembled their weapon of Mass Construction (c’mon, that was funny) we can move onto more important issues.  Like the PGA considering a ban on anchoring  putters. 

Now, I’m probably like most cats that have strolled the links waving a golf club in one hand, and a beverage in the other, in that I can hit the crap out of a golf ball given a solid driver, but my short game falls…a little short.  I’m known to drive the ball to the green in 2 strokes, and put it in the cup with no less than 6-more.  In short, I suck.  Bad.

And, frankly, I don’t have the temperament for golf.  The last time I went golfing, I was on hole 13 when I got so frustrated I wrapped my 9-iron around a tree.  Truly, I’m not kidding.  My family refuses to take me out to putt-putt.  I’m that bitter and angry that I can’t get the ball through the windmill that I’m a hazard to be around.

Getting back to the issue at hand, the PGA wants to consider a ban to take effect in 2016 on “belly putters” because they take too much skill out of the game.  Why?  Because an increasing number of tour members are using them.   According to the PGA website, not one of the top 20 golfers use an anchored putting stroke.  Seems to me that in and of itself undercuts their argument; these competitive cats see an advantage, they’d be on it like a boss.  They’re not. 

Now, you’re not likely to get me on the links any time soon; I broke the head off a brand new “Big Bertha” – on the first swing I took with it -  by driving it straight down: A $225 driver – with a sweet club cover and everything – down the tubes.  The head went further than the ball did.  Would an anchored putter help my game?  Seriously?  Psychiatric help might help my game, but a belly putter?  Not likely.  Does it help the pros by “taking the skill out” of the game?  I suppose over a long term, it could have a dumbing down effect – like the slam dunk vs. a charity stripe throw to a 7’1” Shaquille O’Neal – but seriously, the game is so skill driven and so competitive that if anchoring a putter to my belly would give me a fraction of a stroke difference over 13 tour appearances, I would do it.  That doesn’t seem to be happening.

But just because people increasingly use something, it doesn’t mean that it works.  I mean any 1980’s kid that wore Marithe Francois Girbaud inverse pleated pants knows that just because everyone is doing it, it doesn’t mean it works.  None of the Top 20 actually use one?  Probably not happening, it’s a matter of style.  The accusation it takes the skill out of the short game hasn’t been proven – if you’re going to ban something because it creates an advantage (real or perceived), you need to test it.  And that hasn’t been done.

Here’s the simple solution: take the top 100 golfers.  Randomly assign them to a belly putter vs. traditional putter groups and have them putt 1000 times.    Which group out performs the other?  Then debate the issue.  If the belly putters outperform, that gives you data with which to have a debate – not a perfect debate, I mean my experimental design has significant flaws, but some data (even flawed data) is better than no data.  That data is just not present in this discussion. 

So to the PGA I say, don’t be like the Luddites fighting the power of technological advancement: destroying the machines of progress – a futile fight.   Look at data, don’t just make a gut reaction because you don’t like the form.

Phil Mickelson's Misguided Foray Into the Public Eye
Category: Golf/Tennis
Tags: Golf Politics

Phil Mickelson has lived a charmed life.  He plays golf for a living and has made millions doing so.  He has endorsements out the wazoo and has made millions doing so.  He lives in beautiful homes, plays golf in exotic venues, travels by private jets, has every whim catered to.  He owns a bid chunk of the LA Dodgers amongst other holdings and is a featured pitchman for a drug company.

Phil's home

Just don't dare ask him to pay an extra 5% in taxes or he will just take his ball and go home (or I guess to Florida or Texas).

You can certainly debate the merits (or lack thereof) on how our government spends our money, but by any reasonable measure the tax burden on our wealthiest citizens has been at historic lows.   At the same time, the Country has racked up $1.4 trillion in war debt and another $4 trillion in other spending as the U.S. (and the world) try to recover from a very poor economic stretch.    

So today, Phil groused about his taxes going up to what he claimed was over 60% which tells me a few things about the guy: (1) he has no clue what he really pays in taxes or he has the world's worst accountant; (2) like so many people in the elite strata, he has no clue how lucky he is; and, (3) he can't keep thoughts better left unsaid to himself.

Let's do a little math.  Phil raked in $50,000,000+ in 2012.  If he paid taxes like Mitt Romney say, he would have had to pay about $7,500,000 in Federal tax, about $4,000,000 in State tax and oh yeah - what really burns him, $6,000 in Social Security.  So out of $50,000,000 that leaves him with the paltry sum of about $39,499,994 to spend.     Under the new plan, he will have to pitch in an extra (at most) $5,000,000 so instead of having $40,000,000 to spend, he will have to deal with having only $35,000,000.  Boo Hoo.

Compare that with someone who walks on the other side of the ropes making say $75K per year who pays the same percentage of their income to Uncle Sam.  How can that be?  Well, they have about $10,000 in Federal, $4,000 in State and $4,000 in Social Security...$57K take home pay (a 29% tax burden - about the same as Phil).  In my book, there is a lot less to play with at $57K than $35 million.  

If you don't like how the government spends their money, that fine  - make your voice heard.  But go through the trouble of reading where your money actually goes.  There seems to be this thought that all of the tax revenue goes to freeloaders and people living off the government teat.  Over 60% of discretionary spending goes to our armed forces - anyone want to trim that?  You have to go through a big part of the budget before you come to the relatively small amount we pay to help those who are down on there luck.  We spend a whopping 1 - 2 % on science!  Whoa, put the brakes on the NIH budget (until you get cancer, then open the floodgates please).  

I like Phil - he seems like a genuine guy.  Just don't cry in public about how unfair the tax system is when you are living off the proceeds that those of us that are golf fans make possible for you.   Keep it to yourself, Phil.  You want to move to Florida so you can save a few bucks, go for it.  All the rest of your golfing buddies have done it.  If I could, I'd live in a state with no income tax too.  But I don't have that luxury like you.  We have had enough of insufferable spoiled athletes complaining about their millions while the rest of us sweat it out every frickin' day.  It is sad to add your name to that list.


Golf Needs a New Tiger, or the Old One Back
Category: Golf/Tennis
Tags: Golf Tiger Woods The Beeze

  I'm not a Golf guy, but I know how important Tiger Woods was to Golf...And clearly he is still important...

Last week Adam Scott won, and all the talk was about his caddy...Because his caddy, Steve Williams had recently been fired by Tiger Woods...

Then today in the PGA, he started out well, and the big media machine started getting a boner...But then, suddenly he fell apart, and played like shit...So what did the media machine do...They didn't change gears and talk about Steve Stricker killing it...Nope, they talked about Tiger...

What's wrong with Tiger?

Is Tiger done?

It's over for Tiger?

Tiger, Tiger, fucking Tiger?

Clearly Golf can't exist without Tiger...So they better fix him, or build a new one...The rest of the guys on the tour must really be getting sick of all this Tiger bullshit...I already barely give a shit about golf, but after today, I really don't give a shit!

Later, The Beeze.


Local Ohio Native Earns PGA Card
Category: Golf/Tennis

Local hometown Springfield, OH native is on the cusp of earning his PGA Card for 2012. Erik Compton formerly of Springfield who now lives in Florida shot a 65 last Sunday in the Mexican Open to win the event and pick up his 1st win on the Nationwide Tour. The win put him in 2nd place on the money list and all but ensures he will finish in the Top 25 on the money list and earn his PGA Tour card for the 2012 season. He is currently on the regular tour this week trying to make the cut in the AT&T National at Adironmick in Newtown Square, Pennsylvaina. He played Thursday and Friday with Jim Furyk and Hunter Mahan.

"Everybody knows I'm the guy with two hearts," Compton replied. It's a story that has been told for the last three years, ever since the 31 year old Compton again defied logic, if not death, by getting a second heart transplant. He recieved this heart from former Chaminade Julienne and University of Dayton atlete Isaac Klosterman who was tragically killed riding a motorcycle in Palm Beach, Florida. Compton returned to playing gold only 5 months later to get through the 1st stage of Q-School.

His identity won' change anytime soon. He will always be the guy who after his second heart transplant said "I've been dead. Twice." And he wouldn't have it any other way. With all of the attention he receives it allows him to spread the word about organ transplants just like the heart he recived at the age of 12, and the second transplant on May 20, 2008. "The doctors are schocked and people in the transplant world are shocked. I'm shocked because I always said I would be on tour and play, but now it's a reality. My dream is finally coming true."

It is also hard to fathom for tall the people who have seen this story unfold as well. Charlie DeLucca, head of the Dade Amateur Golf Association in Miami remembers when Compton showed up to play and his parents asked if he could he could take a pull cart. DeLucca was skeptical, unaware that the boy had been diagnosed at age 9 with cardiomyopathy , an enlarging of the heart that hinders it's ability to pump blood. DeLucca thought that he would never see him again and Compton has proved otherwise. "He's not even supposed to be here, He just never lost his determination" DeLuccca said.

It has been suggested that his story was worthy of a movie and asked Compton who should play the elading role. His friends have always said that he looks like Paul Giamatti. Compton was quoted as saying "I don't think there will be a movie, I think have to have something that's maybe a little bit more unrealistic. Maybe if they make a fictional story and have me winning three U.S. Opens or something."

Meanwhile Compton is just rolling along doing his favorite thing in the world playing golf and soon to realizing a lifelong dream and it's an incredible story. Thanks to the AP for this story.

Special K

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