December 20, 2014
Category: Golf/Tennis
Why Golf Sucks!!!
Category: Golf/Tennis
Tags: PGA

This is why golf sucks.

A fat fucker, drinking beer, watching a PGA event on TV, anywhere in the world, can watch the game and call up the PGA and tell them that one of the players violated a rule. Now mind you there are many PGA officials at every event and they know all the rules. So how come they have to wait until this fucker calls and tells them Tiger screwed up.

Simply put, the PGA should use the motto "What's laid is played." If you screw your card up, or don't put your ball back at the same spot, and no one notices tough shit.

Belly Putter?
Category: Golf/Tennis
Tags: pga golf



Now that the Catholic cardinals have assembled their weapon of Mass Construction (c’mon, that was funny) we can move onto more important issues.  Like the PGA considering a ban on anchoring  putters. 

Now, I’m probably like most cats that have strolled the links waving a golf club in one hand, and a beverage in the other, in that I can hit the crap out of a golf ball given a solid driver, but my short game falls…a little short.  I’m known to drive the ball to the green in 2 strokes, and put it in the cup with no less than 6-more.  In short, I suck.  Bad.

And, frankly, I don’t have the temperament for golf.  The last time I went golfing, I was on hole 13 when I got so frustrated I wrapped my 9-iron around a tree.  Truly, I’m not kidding.  My family refuses to take me out to putt-putt.  I’m that bitter and angry that I can’t get the ball through the windmill that I’m a hazard to be around.

Getting back to the issue at hand, the PGA wants to consider a ban to take effect in 2016 on “belly putters” because they take too much skill out of the game.  Why?  Because an increasing number of tour members are using them.   According to the PGA website, not one of the top 20 golfers use an anchored putting stroke.  Seems to me that in and of itself undercuts their argument; these competitive cats see an advantage, they’d be on it like a boss.  They’re not. 

Now, you’re not likely to get me on the links any time soon; I broke the head off a brand new “Big Bertha” – on the first swing I took with it -  by driving it straight down: A $225 driver – with a sweet club cover and everything – down the tubes.  The head went further than the ball did.  Would an anchored putter help my game?  Seriously?  Psychiatric help might help my game, but a belly putter?  Not likely.  Does it help the pros by “taking the skill out” of the game?  I suppose over a long term, it could have a dumbing down effect – like the slam dunk vs. a charity stripe throw to a 7’1” Shaquille O’Neal – but seriously, the game is so skill driven and so competitive that if anchoring a putter to my belly would give me a fraction of a stroke difference over 13 tour appearances, I would do it.  That doesn’t seem to be happening.

But just because people increasingly use something, it doesn’t mean that it works.  I mean any 1980’s kid that wore Marithe Francois Girbaud inverse pleated pants knows that just because everyone is doing it, it doesn’t mean it works.  None of the Top 20 actually use one?  Probably not happening, it’s a matter of style.  The accusation it takes the skill out of the short game hasn’t been proven – if you’re going to ban something because it creates an advantage (real or perceived), you need to test it.  And that hasn’t been done.

Here’s the simple solution: take the top 100 golfers.  Randomly assign them to a belly putter vs. traditional putter groups and have them putt 1000 times.    Which group out performs the other?  Then debate the issue.  If the belly putters outperform, that gives you data with which to have a debate – not a perfect debate, I mean my experimental design has significant flaws, but some data (even flawed data) is better than no data.  That data is just not present in this discussion. 

So to the PGA I say, don’t be like the Luddites fighting the power of technological advancement: destroying the machines of progress – a futile fight.   Look at data, don’t just make a gut reaction because you don’t like the form.

Phil Mickelson's Misguided Foray Into the Public Eye
Category: Golf/Tennis
Tags: Golf Politics

Phil Mickelson has lived a charmed life.  He plays golf for a living and has made millions doing so.  He has endorsements out the wazoo and has made millions doing so.  He lives in beautiful homes, plays golf in exotic venues, travels by private jets, has every whim catered to.  He owns a bid chunk of the LA Dodgers amongst other holdings and is a featured pitchman for a drug company.

Phil's home

Just don't dare ask him to pay an extra 5% in taxes or he will just take his ball and go home (or I guess to Florida or Texas).

You can certainly debate the merits (or lack thereof) on how our government spends our money, but by any reasonable measure the tax burden on our wealthiest citizens has been at historic lows.   At the same time, the Country has racked up $1.4 trillion in war debt and another $4 trillion in other spending as the U.S. (and the world) try to recover from a very poor economic stretch.    

So today, Phil groused about his taxes going up to what he claimed was over 60% which tells me a few things about the guy: (1) he has no clue what he really pays in taxes or he has the world's worst accountant; (2) like so many people in the elite strata, he has no clue how lucky he is; and, (3) he can't keep thoughts better left unsaid to himself.

Let's do a little math.  Phil raked in $50,000,000+ in 2012.  If he paid taxes like Mitt Romney say, he would have had to pay about $7,500,000 in Federal tax, about $4,000,000 in State tax and oh yeah - what really burns him, $6,000 in Social Security.  So out of $50,000,000 that leaves him with the paltry sum of about $39,499,994 to spend.     Under the new plan, he will have to pitch in an extra (at most) $5,000,000 so instead of having $40,000,000 to spend, he will have to deal with having only $35,000,000.  Boo Hoo.

Compare that with someone who walks on the other side of the ropes making say $75K per year who pays the same percentage of their income to Uncle Sam.  How can that be?  Well, they have about $10,000 in Federal, $4,000 in State and $4,000 in Social Security...$57K take home pay (a 29% tax burden - about the same as Phil).  In my book, there is a lot less to play with at $57K than $35 million.  

If you don't like how the government spends their money, that fine  - make your voice heard.  But go through the trouble of reading where your money actually goes.  There seems to be this thought that all of the tax revenue goes to freeloaders and people living off the government teat.  Over 60% of discretionary spending goes to our armed forces - anyone want to trim that?  You have to go through a big part of the budget before you come to the relatively small amount we pay to help those who are down on there luck.  We spend a whopping 1 - 2 % on science!  Whoa, put the brakes on the NIH budget (until you get cancer, then open the floodgates please).  

I like Phil - he seems like a genuine guy.  Just don't cry in public about how unfair the tax system is when you are living off the proceeds that those of us that are golf fans make possible for you.   Keep it to yourself, Phil.  You want to move to Florida so you can save a few bucks, go for it.  All the rest of your golfing buddies have done it.  If I could, I'd live in a state with no income tax too.  But I don't have that luxury like you.  We have had enough of insufferable spoiled athletes complaining about their millions while the rest of us sweat it out every frickin' day.  It is sad to add your name to that list.


Golf Needs a New Tiger, or the Old One Back
Category: Golf/Tennis
Tags: Golf Tiger Woods The Beeze

  I'm not a Golf guy, but I know how important Tiger Woods was to Golf...And clearly he is still important...

Last week Adam Scott won, and all the talk was about his caddy...Because his caddy, Steve Williams had recently been fired by Tiger Woods...

Then today in the PGA, he started out well, and the big media machine started getting a boner...But then, suddenly he fell apart, and played like shit...So what did the media machine do...They didn't change gears and talk about Steve Stricker killing it...Nope, they talked about Tiger...

What's wrong with Tiger?

Is Tiger done?

It's over for Tiger?

Tiger, Tiger, fucking Tiger?

Clearly Golf can't exist without Tiger...So they better fix him, or build a new one...The rest of the guys on the tour must really be getting sick of all this Tiger bullshit...I already barely give a shit about golf, but after today, I really don't give a shit!

Later, The Beeze.


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