Wow, these Thursdays seem to get closer and closer together ... it seems like it was just yesterday that I woke up from my week long nap on the couch by the corner booth at the tavern and posted last week's thoughts from the couch. There's some guy with a big X tattoo throwing peanuts and funyuns at Harry, who's trying to sleep quietly in the corner while he recovers from his recent sports related injuries
. Word on the street is that he's doped up on some painkillers he got from Beeze, who had to make a family trip to the emergency room last week due to a "cleaning injury
Word on the street is that the Doc wasn't too thrilled with Beezer's choice of attire, as he was proudly displaying a "Witness ... nothing again!
" tee-shirt in honor of Cleveland's latest failure in the NBA playoffs, this time falling to the upstart Orlando Magic and ruining David Stern's perfect NBA Finals. Well, at least Kobe is in the finals.
Speaking of Kobe, make sure you fellow Gabitants get over to the latest installment of the You Gab 25
where we are filling out the 25 most hated active athletes. Last time I checked we had around 10-12 on the list, so we still have some slots open if you can come up with a few athletes who are worthy of inclusion.
I'm still on the fence about whether or not I'm going to watch the NBA Finals. I would like to see the Magic take down Kobe and the Lakers, but something tells me that this will be Kobe's year to finally win one without Shaq. Wait, that something is the officiating, which will definitely be on the Lakers' side during the series. I'm sure Jack Nicholson gave a "charitable donation" to the NBA to ensure that Kobe gets the proper "superstar treatment" throughout the course of the Finals.
I look for the following three things to happen at least once during the Finals.
1. The refs will determine the outcome of the game by giving Kobe Bryant or Pau Gasol a critical foul call, and it will most likely cause Dwight Howard to foul out with less than 5 minutes to go in a tie game in LA.
2. Stan Van Gundy and Phil Jackson will each be fined $25,000 for complaining about the officiating. Hopefully this will occur in the same game so Stern will see just how shitty the officiating really is. If both coaches are complaining, it may be time to hire new refs.
3. The Lebron James and Kobe Bryant Puppets will give commentary at halftime for at least one game, probably game one. They will also flood the airwaves during commercial breaks with activities such as brushing their teeth, buying groceries, and getting hair cuts.
Speaking of cuts, the Atlanta Braves have decided to cut ties with long time starting pitcher Tom Glavine by releasing him today. This move saves the team a few million dollars in salary, and it is a part of their efforts to get younger. They also pulled the trigger on a semi-blockbuster deal today when they stole ... errr ... traded a few prospects to the Pirates for CF Nate McClouth. (Word on the street is that a lifetime supply of chicken & waffles was also included in the deal, but that is not confirmed as of yet.)
In other baseball news, it appears that Sammy Sosa has finally taken the hint that no one wants him any more and has announced his retirement. Now if we can just get Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens to make the same announcement we will finally be rid of all the dead-weight clubhouse cancer guys who can't play anymore but still think they have value to a major league team.
I just don't understand why Bonds and Clemens are still hanging on and saying that they're available to play. Bonds is doing this more than Roid-Rocket, but even Barry hasn't realized that no owner in his right mind would sign him to any contract. I mean there's the possible jail time, the fact that he's a terrible team mate, and there's the little steroids issue that still hasn't been completely resolved ... based on those few bits of information, I think it's safe to assume that we won't see Bonds any time soon, so why can't he just take the same path that Sosa has taken and just give it up and retire for good?
Speaking of steroids, the PED All-Stars have made their move to climb up in the standings and have crawled back to within 2.5 games of Foulball Fragnoli in D&T League 1 ... but are losing 8-6 to the Single A Pirates as of this writing. Hopefully my boys can pick up the slack over the weekend and take down the Pirates and regain first place in the division. (Yes, I acknowledge the fact that I just put the kiss of death on any chances of getting back to first place.)
That's it for this week's thoughts from the couch. Be sure to check out all the other great blogs here at the Gab and get involved in the You Gab 25 ... it would be nice to fill one out completely for a change.
And as usual, any comments can be left in the appropriate section below.