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Twas The Gab Before Christmas
Category: Humor
Tags: Christmas 2011

Twas the Gab before Christmas,

And all across the site,

The Gabitants were waiting,

For a topic just right.

Sandusky had been done,

His pedophile playmate Fine as well,

And without a Favre sighting,

There were just no stories to tell.

The NFL and NBA,

Were finally back back on the job,

Making way too much money,

For a forward pass or a lob.

The Gabitants were spread,

Around Moís empty bar room,

Pondering their thoughts,

In the gathering gloom.

Sully was keeping busy,

Answering an email or two,

From his good friend in Nigeria,

With some illegal banking to do.

Felber is still out shoveling,

The snow from last week,

That fell to the Earth,

Like a Ravenís winning streak.

The Beezer was seated,

Beside the fire in his chair,

Helping the Misses,

Clean the spunk from her hair.

Still others were coming,

And taking their seats,

Hoping for a story,

To fall at their feet.

Perhaps Harvey Dakota,

Had something to add,

About his memories of the days,

When the coaches wore plaid.

Johnny Monkey is in the corner,

Plotting his next plan for fun,

Of rising to power,

And usurping Kim Jong Un

And thereís B-Dub,

Helping to deck the halls,

Ranting about the Gamecocks,

And swinging from Cam Newtonís balls.

Fresh in from Hoodwood

Black Bandit got gifts aplenty,

With Phat Daps for some,

And Head Slaps for many.

Hereís Average Fan Detroit,

And his brother IHM,

With fresh Suh footprints,

On each of them.

B.O.B is in the corner,

Throwing a tantrum or two,

He has no Christmas spirit,

Because heís pissed off at all of you.

Jefft02 hasnít made it yet,

As heís got a lawsuit to thwart,

Proving deep thoughts are his own,

In a Texas federal court.

Mia and Hotch,

Were nowhere to be seen,

Getting shafted with Christmas duty,

To feed the Gab blog machine.

And here I am,

Putting to paper this piece I do write,

Wishing my fellow Gabitants a Merry Christmas,

In a poem that has bite.

But this poem was fun,

And every word in jest,

I hope you have a good holiday,

And that your families remain blessed.

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