I know this isn't the place you would normally come for the health care debate - the site IS yougabsports, afterall, not yougabpols or yougabhealth - but, believe it or not dear gabbers, Old Mo can make anything work.  Trust me here.  I'm going to take you on a sporting themed journey through the Obama health care plan and it's benefits to your sporting health.

 

President Obama likens his health reform to an analogy between choosing between a red and a blue pill.  If they are both effective, but the red pill is more expensive then we all take the blue pill and the system saves money.  Now, those of you with a basic understanding of color theory (i.e. anyone who's ever read, say, Mouse Paint) know that red and blue make purple.  Further, anyone who has watched an NFL game over the last 5-years or so knows that the little "purple pill" cures acid-reflux, and that the blue pill actually treats erectile dysfunction.  Now, I have no idea what the red pill would show me, nor do I much care if I can eat all the nachos I want and...well, take a bath on the beach somewhere...if you know what I mean. 

 

Outside of the rather regrettable symbolism implied by the pop culture with the expression red-pill/blue-pill (red being the truth, blue being blissful ignorance) and the more overt political symbolism (red-state/blue-state), I have found some common ailments to be cured with either the blue or the purple pill.  Believe you me, Gabbers, YouGabSports is the place where you can find insightful and practical implications for health care reform on your sporting health.

 

Back in February, several of Lance Armstrong's racing bikes were stolen - of course, since they were one-of-a-kind jobs, it made it rather difficult for the perp to actually, you know, do anything with them once he had his hands on them.   So, the ninny sold one of the $10,000 bikes for $200...and that nitwit turned it into cops.  The whole thing netted the nitwit 90 days in the clink, the ninny 3-years.  Had these two access to Obama's blue pill, they could have both avoided Premature Incarceration. 

 

In Tuesday's ALCS game, it was clear that the umpires could have had the book in front of them and they wouldn't have been able to call an acceptable game.  At one point when Mike Sioscia questioned the home plate umpire's ball/strike calling, the official told him that he couldn't see the pitches.  Then there was the call that Nick Swisher had left third early on a fly out, when he didn't...which, is okay because earlier he was called safe on a pick-off at second when he was clearly out.  Then don't get me started about the cluster that was the Posada rundown between home and third with Robinson Cano standing at third base - but not touching the bag - as the trail runner.  Cano was tagged as Posada ran past the bag and was subsequently tagged by Angels catcher Mike Napoli.  Unassisted double play, right?  Inexplicably no.  So I'm thinking a purple pill would've cured some of the IMV experienced by not only players but those of us watching the abomination, Swisher might've done well to get his hands on that blue pill to avoid that premature rejection and frankly the umpires could've used some of that more expensive red pill (I guess that would be called...instant replay?) so that they could've seen the truth of the situation.  The MLB has apparently decided to take prophylactic measures and have reassigned umpires based on experience for the World Series - leaving the man responsible for that inexplicable call at third in for the series, but CB Bucknor out, so I'll take that.  

 

Jamie McCourt's lawyer says her soon-to-be ex-husband Frank McCourt - owner of the Dodgers - gave her a case of premature ejection this week when he fired her as CEO of the team.  MLB has Frank as the sole owner, but her attorney has made it clear that she's co-owner as California is a community property state.  He should've moved the team to Brooklyn before filing for divorce.  At least he waited for his team (or her team as the case may be) to be eliminated from playoff contention.  Speaking of which, congratulations to the Philadelphia Phillies for earning the right to defend their World Series title - lest they suffer a case of premature jubilation they need to beware the New York Yankees who narrowly avoided giving this Red Sox fan apoplectic redux by losing game 5 last night, but frankly in my mind it's a foregone conclusion that the Yankees will be the American League Champion.

 

California Governator Schwarzenegger has signed a bill allowing for a new football stadium to be built in Los Angeles.  Now, he may be in need of a blue pill to cure his premature evaluation of the city's chances to win over another team because while the stadium is now ok to build, not too many people are going to put out $800-Million to build a place without a team to occupy it.  Interestingly enough, though, three of the teams mentioned as potential tenants have played in LA at one time or another: Raiders, Rams, and Chargers.  Not without cause, I will take the opportunity to mention that Raiders head coach Tom Cable will not be facing criminal charges stemming from an incident with an assistant, avoiding a bad case of acerbic reflux within the legal system.

 

Now, Steve Phillips might've taken the whole thing just a little too far with the whole little blue pill thing after having taken an extended leave (um, never a good thing for a baseball analyst to be taking an extended leave during the baseball championship series') after reports of a rather lurid affair with a 22-year old production assistant.  Now, because of this coming out, Deadspin.com went batpoop on ESPN because they had the scoop a month ago and chose not to run it because the "WWL" denied any truth to the story.  So because ESPN chose not to take their red pill, deadspin ran all of their recent tips on the depravity at the network. ESPN needs a little aspirin for the headache and perhaps a few milligrams of paxil for the anxiety, but they're going to need a little something for their own PR impotence.

 

Now, I'm completely on board with this aspect of health care reform, especially if it means we might actually get some cures for what ails our sporting endeavors.  Last but not least, the election of the right medication will prevent electile dysfunction and unwanted presidencies.  Good evening from Mo's Tavern, ladies and gentlemen.  I'm Mo and I approved this message.