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Phil Mickelson Should Swim Home
Category: Golf/Tennis
Tags: YGS PGA Phil Mickelson floaties


Now don't get me wrong... Lefty (Hefty) is a decent hacker... Just not when it comes to the Ryder Cup. This fat bastard needs to just stay home and watch on TV like the rest of us. Cory Pavin should have to grab Phil's bag (giggity) and play the rest of the weekend as punishment... Left handed... If the USA losses the Ryder Cup, I say ban Lefty from Ryder play... He just doesn't have it.

Ol' Phil is now a whopping 10-16-6. (win-loss-half) Since 2004, he is a grand 2-11-3. Hey Phil... Just say NO next time someone asks if you want to be on a Ryder Cup team. Sack-up, be a man, and know when to walk away and save yourself some more embarrassment. Give me more rookies and guys that can play! I don't care if it's Phil. Everyone was worried about Tiger and what he was going to do during Cup play. I am pretty sure no one saw the wheels on Hefty's cart coming off. Sure, he did well during the regular 'season'... But it doesn't necessarily translate to good Ryder Cup play.

Get your floaties, Phil... It's a long swim...

Speaking of embarrassment... How about those 'uniforms' or 'wardrobe' malfunctions created by Lisa Pavin, whom has dubbed herself the 'Captainess'. Nothing says 'Cluster-fuck' like having to scramble to the souvenir stand, mid-play, to buy up all the rain gear because yours doesn't repel water. Wait, what? Yeah, that's right... The brought rain gear that doesn't fucking work... Hey, Lisa. Stay out of the sporting goods store! Just because your husband doesn't have the sack to tell you to sit down and shut up.. I will. But the 'uniforms' are pretty... Yeah, pretty fucking horrible. The rain suits work well for fashion... Just as long as it DOESN'T FUCKING RAIN... Thankfully, for your sake, Lisa, they suspended play for half the day because the course was under water. It's England, even I know it rains like a mother-fucker the first part of fall.

Hey, Sully... Have we ever had a FEMALE winner for Tool Of The Week??? I have a nomination for you... This 'gash' (thanks Beeze) could single handedly cause the USA to lose the Ryder Cup because of her 'wardrobe-malfunction'. Get your floaties, Lisa... It's a long swim...

Any other golf tourney, I would have slept through. But since it is in Europe, I get to watch it live when I get home from work at 3am... Thank you ESPiN for getting something right in my little world.



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