Hello Gabbers, and welcome to this week’s Sexy Action Sports Saturday with your old pal IHM. With the events of Thursday night, you figured this would be a week where good things happened to shitty people (Bron Bron)… but last night, we all got a reminder of exactly what happens to truly, truly bad people when Jerry Sandusky was finally found guilty of 45 of the 48 charges levied against him by a Pennsylvania prosecutor.

   Honestly, I was shocked they nailed him on 45 of 48… I figured there would have been a solid loophole or whatever the fuck on at least ten of the charges. But I’ll be damned, the prosecutors put together a damn good case and finally got this monster locked up where he belongs. Sure, we all know he’ll never see the general population he deserves to rot amongst… no being passed around like a shower toy, or even better, being castrated by 9-10 inmates. Nope, he’ll probably end up in some segregated wing of the prison, probably not even a maximum security prison… probably the “white collar” prison. The only real thing to take solace in is the fact that he’s locked away, not able to access any more children.

   In a perfect world, this fucking sleaze bag gets tossed in to the wolves, and every day of the rest of his life is worse than the last. Just watching that monster being led out of the courthouse, placed in the back of a police car and driven off, I couldn’t help but notice the lack of expression on his face, like they were taking him to the fucking grocery store. Just like Michael Jackson, when you hear this guy talk, you can hear some kind of child-like demeanor to him… almost as if he truly does not believe he did anything wrong. I’m still holding out some hope that he’ll off himself soon… mostly so no tax dollars are wasted keeping this waste of human DNA alive.

   One of the only remaining aspects of this case that may bring some closure, the civil suits to come, still have yet to be decided. Sandusky still hasn’t been sentenced… but the 45 counts he was convicted on carry a minimum 60-years in prison, meaning there is no possible way this scum ever sees the light of day again. But, with these civil suits comes the opportunity to make the other guilty parties, those who knew of the abuse and did nothing to end it, will also be made to pay. Penn State, administrators, and even Dottie Sandusky, Jerry’s alleged “clueless” wife, all should be bled dry in my opinion. I hope every penny the Sandusky’s have is liquidated. Take the house, all the cars, every sellable piece of property those two own and get whatever you can for it. Not to worry, I’m sure Dottie can go stay with whichever of their six kids Sando DIDN’T molest.

   As for the university, I think they should pay a much, much higher price. I hope the NCAA finally gets something right and comes down HARD on the athletic department. I really hope that Penn State is forced to take down the statue of Joe Paterno, melt it down, and sell the metal for fucking scrap to pay these victims off. I’m sure some dipshit Penn State booster will end up paying for a replacement statue of that fucking coward. Maybe in another corner of your football stadium, you can put a statue of that pathetic piece of trash McQueary hiding in the corner with his hands over his face. The guy is fucking 6’5”… again, how do you NOT put a stop to it if you see Sandusky raping a kid in the fucking shower?

   When it’s all said and done, Sandusky dies behind bars, Penn State and the apathetic pieces of shit in their administration who did NOTHING to end this abuse all pay a heavy price, and hopefully these victims can find some way to move on in their lives. Honestly, I’ve always thought we need to impose the death penalty in this country a LOT more often. Mainly, it’s used in the case of murder… and normally, you have to commit multiple murders to even be considered. I’ve always thought that child molesters/pedophiles should also be executed when convicted. Look, when a murder is committed, the outrage is that a life was taken. When a child is molested, THEIR life is taken away from them. They spend the rest of their lives unable to trust anybody, usually unable to form any kind of lasting relationship… it just ruins any aspect of their life you can think of. That’s no way to live, so in my opinion, this piece of shit has taken their life away by committing this vile act. Honestly, though, this “lethal injection” horse shit is too good for a man like Sandusky. I say impale this bag of shit ass first down a 20-35 foot steel spike.

  The other “big story” this week, if you even want to call it that in the bigger scheme of things, was the Miami Heat winning the NBA championship. In my opinion, the only good thing that happened Thursday night was the NBA season finally ended. But, I’ll give in here, and I’ll give credit where credit is due. LeBron actually nutted up in the playoffs this year when it counted. In game six against the Celtics, he went for 45 to bring that series back to Miami, and Thursday he puts up a triple double to close out the series in game five. Congrats on your ring… it doesn’t make you any less of a fucking twat, though. And congrats to all of us, who now get a full 2-3 months where we don’t have to talk about this joke of a league.

  How about some real, heartfelt congrats to BDub’s USC Gamecocks, who reach the College World Series yet again this year. There they will face Arizona, so I can honestly say “Go Cocks!”

  Roy Oswalt picked up the win in his first start for the Texas Rangers last night. Oswalt went 6 2/3 innings, gave up one run on nine hits, and struck out six in his Rangers’ debut.

  Mets closer Frank Fransisco called the Yankees “chickens”… which is nicer than anything I’ve ever called them!

  Former Major Leaguer Chad Curtis will stand trial on five counts of criminal sexual conduct after students at a Michigan high school he was a volunteer athletic trainer at accused him of touching them inappropriately.

   For my final rant of the day, I’d like to tell ESPN to STOP IT with all this soccer shit already! Euro Cup 2012 is going on right now… and nobody in this country fucking cares. Quit trying to ram soccer down our throats already. I watch 20-year old reruns of shitty TV shows over a soccer game. The other day I get home from work, sit on the couch, start watching SportsCenter, and I naturally pass out on the couch for about half an hour. I wake up, and there’s fucking soccer on my TV. Sure, it doesn’t quite make me want to take my TV outside and burn it quite as much as when my wife wants to watch the Real Housewives of whatever the hell… but it pisses me right the fuck off. I mean, I don’t want whoever is monitoring these ratings to think there’s some kind of damn Frenchie living at my house. Fuck off, ESPN, and soccer.

  That’s it for me this week, folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out.