Guys, before I get started on the regular sports, I gotta take time here and vent my outrage about what happened in Utah.  To the family of 46 year old Ricardo Portillo, my heart is heavy with grief for what you are going through, and what you will continue to go through. 

Ricardo died because he was reffing a rec league soccer game and a player that didn't like a call slugged him.  Taking a man's life over a game that would have been forgotten about 30 minutes after it ended?  What has happened in our society when a punk goes out and does this?  The State of Utah had better go hardcore on this and prosecute to the fullest extent of the law and punish the assailant just as hard.  This 17 year old needs to be tried as an adult and punished like one. 

When and where does this crap end?  What is it going to take for society to be disturbed enough to start taking control back from these little snot nosed punks?  When did it become OK for juveniles to act out like this?  It's time for we as a society to demand respect and accountability from our youth.  Dammit, we are the bosses, not the kids.  It's time to bring back much stiffer punishments rather than moddy-coddling. 

Lastly, why on Earth would anybody want to be a sports official?  Sports is gonna have a problem down the line if nobody wants to do the job of an official, an admittedly tough job.

Welcome to the tantrums where Uncle B.O.B. is sorry to hear that the Minnesota Vikings cut Punter Chris Kluwe and in typical Kluwe speak, he tweeted "So long Minnesota, and thanks for all the fish."  We here in Gab-land love Kluwe for his outspokenness and refreshing honesty.  Whether or not you agreed with his takes, at least you have to respect Kluwe for taking a stand and sticking by it.  Let's hope my man catches on somewhere else. 

MLB.   So I thought I’d look to see who was the hottest team in MLB right now and was surprised to see it was the Detroit Tigers at 8-2 over their last ten games.  But who the hell woke Cleveland up, winning six in a row until Minny got 'em Sunday?  Beeze should be celebrating that Cleveland made it to Cinco de Mayo over .500. 

San Francisco Giants went 6-0 this week sweeping Arizona and the Dodgers and mostly in the comeback type in close games.  Pablo Sandoval is hitting .331 on the season.  Unfortunately, Brandon Crawford has tanked at the plate.  Brandon Belt is coming on strong and Madison Bumgarner has a 1.55 ERA.  Man, if Cain can start coming around like he did last night in seven innings, it's on!

Oakland A’s went 4-2 and took two of three from both the Angels and Yankees.  Not only that, this is happening when the team is going through some injuries.  Cespedes is picking up some of the offensive load and the A's are ranked #1 in MLB in runs scored - a far cry from last season.  Problem is Texas is running red hot right now and Oakland's pitching is struggling...

NHL.   Henrik Sedin, you are a punk.  You punch Logan Couture in the face just after a faceoff against the guy?  Then that same guy you jaw jacked scores a goal just ten seconds later.  How stupid are you?  Then he adds an elbow to the head on a dead play?  What the hell?  The NHL Sheriff needs to come down on Sedin before a serious injury occurs.

Speaking of which, #76 for Montreal is a little punk instigator too.  Good on the Senators for layin the wood.

Lots being made about Ottawa calling a time out w/17 seconds left in their 6-1 win over Montreal.  While at first I thought it was bush, I got to thinking, maybe the coach was telling his players not to do anything stupid because the series still has to go on and they don’t need to get suspended.

NBA.  Joey Crawford the ref takes a lot of heat for his heavy-handed approach to dealing with players, but I'm not gonna bash him for his performance in that Clipper/Grizzly Game Six.  If anything, he should have tossed both Blake Griffin AND Matt Barnes as well for overall douche-baggery and shit-stirring.

I’m celebrating that fact that a lot of the floppers are gone from the playoffs so now we can watch basketball being played straight up.

Speaking of floppers and whiners, I come to Chris Paul.  I love how folks gloss over his schtick and now are saying he'll stay a Clipper.  I don't believe that for a second.  This cat is gonna end up the starting Point Guard for the LA Lakers next season. 

I was one of those who thought Miami was gonna steamroll the East, but as I look, Miami don’t want none of Chicago, then they have to face the winner of that war between Indy and NYC.

Could we see the mother of all nightmares for the NBA, Memphis winning the West?  The NBA must be freaking the hell out with three of the smallest markets (San Antonio, Memphis, and OKC) fighting it out in the West, and no LA to bail them out after the first round. Man, they gotta be praying for Golden State.

Out West, I’m gonna enjoy San Antonio/Golden State.  There’s a lot of folks who think the Spurs should win this easily, but I believe anything can happen if Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson get hot.  As for Memphis and OKC, with Westbrook out you just don’t know about the Thunder but then again if they go deep, it could teach Westbrook a valuable lesson.

CFB.  So ESPN partners w/the SEC for a new network at the same time they have the rights to the college football playoff?  Yeah, this whole thing will be completely above board (Sigh!).  Think I'll be paying even more attention to D-2 Football in the coming years, even after my son graduates. 

This thing is gonna be even more corrupt than the BCS and the AP/UPI rankings of yesteryear combined!  This is gonna get real ugly real quick and if I was the Big 12 and Pac 12, I'd start looking to form my own governing organization and get out of the NCAA. 

As proprietor of the wildly popular Mo’s Tavern, I have recently come into some money – seems those old “Duffs At Mo’s 2008” t-shirts I had in the basement have become something of a collectors item.  Being the wise businessman I am, I’ve reinvested the windfall back into the business.  Opening this week is the beer delivery via drone.  Now, with this massive reinvestment in commercializing military technology, it does mean there will be a slight price increase – what with the sequester of military funding and all – but I’m sure $53 Fred Lites won’t dramatically affect business.  And hell, it turns out beer is a health food, so there's no reason not to enjoy!  

Now, let me just put to rest the rumor that due to all my financial success that I was the target of Crystal, the seductress, who pilfered $96-lerge from a guy after seducing and drugging him.  I will admit that some chick borrowed $30 from me once and never gave it back...I guess she would be Crystal Light. [click here] (an homage to Larry Nutball)

The Atlanta Falcons have proposed a $1-Billion stadium complete with seats that resonate with hits on the field.  The Falcons.  Say that to yourself again – The Falcons…$1-Billion stadium.  Sunk in yet?   The Falcons.  The idea is to “lure back NFL fans who prefer to watch the game on television.  ”  You know what would lure fans to the stadium WITHOUT spending $1-Billion?  Fielding a good team.  That’s really all that’s required.  Make the pricing affordable, the concessions reasonable, and the on-field product good.  The one time Atlanta has been at the center of a world class event – the 1996 Olympics – we remember the bombing, not the sports.  I mean, Turner Field remains, but the artifacts of the games are barely recognizable.  This is a city that sees itself as world class, but no way to draw people in – this is a means to do that.  Let’s face it, “The World of Coca Cola” isn’t really enough to bring in the crowds. 

Seems to me, though, this idea comes at a pretty steep price.  You’re not getting a World Cup.  You MAY get a Super Bowl, but let’s ask Jacksonville how well the Super Bowl thing worked out.   I guess I’m just having a hard time seeing how building this thing helps the NFL – I can see it now, give it a few years and it’ll be the home of the Georgia Bulldogs, and be as high tech as the Game Cube. 

I complain about stuff like this all the time – no less than 50% of the time I’m demonstrably wrong.  I thought the “Winter Classic” was a stunt and a stupid idea.  I was wrong.  I thought the Royals signing Zach Grinke was a bad idea.  The Red Sox were going to suck in 2013.   I was wrong.  I’m pretty sure I’m not wrong about this.  Here’s what’s really happening.  Fulton County is ponying up some $200-Million in hotel taxes to fund the place – the architects are presenting their most lavish plan, let everyone use that $1-Billion as their psychological anchor point, and then they’ll come down to a less-unreasonable vision that people will feel like they got a bargain for.  It’s a giant game, especially considering the Georgia Dome is really still viable – it’s just not world class.

Since I’ve touched on the Olympics – if only in passing – I’m here to begin petitioning for a coffee spilling event.  I would be the reigning world champion – quite possibly there wouldn’t be another country able to field a team that could compete with me.  I’m the best at what I do, baby.  Olympic gold for spilling coffee.  It would seem that if the FDA has it's way, however, those of us who exist solely to ingest caffeine are seeing the resurrection of an attack on our favorite chemical - meaning of course, there will be no Olympic competition, and this makes me sad.

We move from the debacle of coffee spills and outlandish stadium designs to a far more happy controversy.  I say it’s happy because, frankly, it’s a time honored controversy.  We’re not talking steroids, we’re not talking ownership debasing the game.  We’re talking whether Clay Bucholtz is illegally doctoring the baseball: is he throwing spitballs?  In the time honored tradition of Gaylord Perry, it seems Mr Bucholtz has been called out.  The real issue here is this little nugget buried in the linked article: “in the year after he posted a 4.56 ERA without a stain on his sleeve he has an MLB-best 1.01 ERA and is throwing the baseball better than anybody in the major leagues.”  Now there could be more than one reason for that – not the least of which is his previous pitching coach is now the manager, but let’s face facts: there’s something fishy going on and it’s not a coincidence it was in Toronto where he was called out.  Underperforming AL East Opponents?  Yeah, it’s the spitballs that are causing that 10-20 start. 

I'm off to go tend to my beer drones.  Belly up to the drone!  Beer is healthy!  

What are you watching more of?

The NBA Playoffs or the NHL Playoffs?

Did you watch the Kentucky Derby? Would you always watch horse racing if the jockeys looked like this...

Maybe you'd like them to wear something that the wind can blow through....

Saddles are overrated too....

I could post pics of chicks with horses all day...And I could find them doing kinkier stuff too...But I'm just stalling...Yes, stalling....Stalling to say that the best I could do this year with the Kentucky Derby was pick the horse that finished third...

Did I spend too much time studying horses this past week, which has led to my disappointment? Or did I not spend enough time? Listen, I was throwing money down on Orb, (the winner) who ran a great race...He came in as the favorite...The big money wasn't there to be made on him...I took my shots on Revolutionary, Itsmyluckyday, and Java's War....I played with a couple different Trifecta's...But nothing...

In our family bet, Little Beeze said fuck you dad...He put his money on Orb (winner, winner, chicken nugget dinner)...Molls went with her Uncle's pick and took Verrazano (14th place)...My oldest daughter had Revolutionary (3rd place)...I had Itsmyluckyday(15th place)...My wife had Mylute (5th place)...Yeah, studying up did me a whole lot of good...Fucking schooled by them all and their lack of knowledge and nonsensical ways of picking horses...

-I'm also stalling because I don't want to talk about the NHL playoffs...Especially my New York Rangers being down 2-0 to the Washington Capitals...Saturday they lost 1-0 in OT...That's a tough one to take there...I expect Lundqvist to play great...But the way Holtby has played through the first two games is unreal...The next two games at MSG...The Rangers need to take them both, and then play the best of 3...

There is something else that I have been noticing in the NHL playoffs...I noticed it the past few years...The physical play, and chippyness has intensified...The NHL playoffs are always more intense then the regular season...The urgency is always cranked up...And the physical play always seems to go up a notch...But the last few years it seems like it has gone to another level...And this year, there are games where it seems like 'Well it's the playoffs!' is just being used as an excuse for the physical play, chippyness, and penalties, and some players just being total dickheads! (See The Montreal Canadiens/ Ottawa Senators and Vancouver Canucks when looking for major dickheads!)

-Any Lacrosse fans out there? I don't watch Lacrosse on a regular basis, but if I'm flipping around the channels with nothing to do, and there's a college Lacrosse game on, I'll watch it...It's got a bit of a hockey feel to it...So, the NCAA Tournament is about to get underway, so I thought I'd give you the seeding for the tourney...

(1) Syracuse (Big East) vs (16)Bryant (Sunday @7:30)

WOO HOOOOOOOO!!!! HOWDY!!!! Good day and good morning. Welcome Gabbers and others to my NASCAR update and other fast stuff. It's Sunday. It's Cinco De Mayo too. I think that means have a drink with your chinchilla in the carport. No oblo espanisho. So I really can't tell you what it means but I think my chinchilla would love a drink in the carport. Just can't let him near the grill. His fur would go up in seconds. Safety first you know. So how are all your fantasy leagues doing? I was checking out teams and their DL's. Did you know the NYY have $46 million on the DL? Jeter and A-Rod are $45 million of that. INSANE!!!!!!! EL STUPIDO!!!!!!! Add in Teixeira and that's another $23 million. OBSCENE!!!!! AND AGAIN EL STUPIDO!!!! What do these guys do to earn that much? The rest of the team is over paid too. 

KYLE PETTY CHARITY RIDE IN PROGRESS

Kyle Petty, son of Richard Petty is on the move. As of April 27th he started his 19th charity motor cycle ride to benefit the Victory Junction Camp which is a hospital disguised as a camp ground. More than 7650 children with chronic medical issues have attended this special camp at no cost to the families due to the donations from Kyle's ride. 

There will be more than 175 motor cycles riding from Idaho to Wyoming to Colorado and on to Arizona on Friday the 3rd of May. 

Kyle says it started out as just a small group of friends out riding from track to track across the country. Hershel Walker of NFL fame is on his 8th ride this year. He enjoys the camaraderie among the riders and watching Kyle interact with the fans and donors along the route. 

You can check out the charity ride through....www.kylepettycharityride.com or facebook.com/KP charityride.

On May 12th it's the 24th annual Mothers Day Convoy for Make A Wish. Truckers compete to see who can get the most donations. Kids get to ride in the trucks as they make their way from Lancaster to Ephrata and back along the Amish Autobahne, Rte 222. It is the coolest thing to sit on the shoulder of a highway and watch the trucks go by. 

On May 18th it's the 60th annual Sertoma Chicken BBQ at Long's Park outside of Lancaster, PA. It's a Guiness Book certified event. Over 25,000 chicken dinners will be served. For $9 you get a half chicken, beverage, roll, chips, banana, candy and ice cream. 

Profits benefit upkeep of Long's Park, it's petting zoo and amphitheater which has free summer concerts. 

So if you're bored and in PA for the 12th or 18th you can see clowns chasing people before the trucks take off for the convoy or go get a chicken dinner. Nice choices.

RICHMOND RECAP

This would be a picture of the squirrel that took out my Yahoo fantasy league. Yup. He took himself pretty much out along with Mark Martin and Brian Vickers. Like I said before about Kasey Kahne. He's a talented squirrel. He's either brilliantly winning the race or he's wrecking. The week I pick him he drives like a squirrel possessed and takes out my fantasy team. BOOOOO!!!! ROCKIE YOU ARE NOT!!!!! Go crawl inside Bullwinkle's hat. Bad squirrel.

Actually almost every driver was possessed last week. It looked like Bristol and not Richmond. I was in shock watching it. Kurt Busch was a ping pong ball. I think he bounced off everybody. He almost got the win but pit stops were not in his favor. He did ping pong his way to a 9th place finish in the ensuing Green/White Checker finish as well as a run in with Stewart, Kenseth and Truex on the track, Stewart on pit road and Stewart in the garage area. Christmas card bets anyone?

I really thought it was Montoya's night. Montoya stayed out of the pits and inherited the lead at caution #8 with 74 to go. He ran away from Harvick and it looked like it was his race. His day. He kept the lead through 2 cautions and 68 laps but the last caution with 6 to go was it. Harvick snatched his win away with the last restart. He was a good sport about it though. A 4th ain't so bad considering how bad his season was last year. I mean he did blow up the jet dryer at Daytona.

Top 15 finishers - Harvick - Bowyer - Logano - Montoya - Burton - Edwards - Kenseth - Almirola - Kurt B - Dale Jr - Gordon - Johnson - Menard - Allmendinger - Newman

PENALTY UPDATE

Penske lost their first appeal of the rear end housing debate. They get one more appeal and it's with the top dawg at the National Stock Car Racing Panel. We'll see how that goes.

NASCAR SAFETY MEETING

NASCAR called a crew chief meeting to talk about safety at the track. In the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing NASCAR wanted the crew chiefs to get with their teams and other personnel to keep a closer watch in the garage area as well as the pits and any where someone could leave things that don't belong there. If it looks out of place then say something. A broader focus on safety and awareness is now on. 

TALLADEGA SPEEDWAY PREVIEW

Remember this car? You may have forgotten since it hangs out in the back all race long. This would be Danica. Speed is her thing so this 2.5 mile track is up her alley. I expect her to get a top 10. She was 8th at Daytona. So...it could happen.

It would be Bobby Labonte's 700th career start come this Sunday. Cinco De Wow - O. His record at Dega is 1 pole - 1 win - 6 top 5's - 13 top 10's and he's led 154 laps. GO BOBBY!!!!

So last years top 10 finishers were - Keselowski - Kyle B - Kenseth - Kahne- Biffle - Bowyer - Ragan - Bayne - Dale Jr - Burton 

With 7 to go Kurt B took a spin then on the restart Allmendinger blocks Hamlin who bobs and weaves and takes out everyone up front. 

So in the present it's been raining all week in Alabama. There's a 60% chance of rain on race day. Qualifying was rained out so the field was set by practice speeds, owners points and champions provisionals. Edwards gets the starting spot but it's not considered the pole. I can not begin to explain how you get the first spot and no credit for a pole position. NASCAR confounds me with all the twisty turny stuff sometimes. Lets move on now. Shall we?

Hamlin has gotten medical clearance to start the race but the first caution he must exit the car and let Vickers drive. The reason for him even starting is that if he starts the race, he gets the points. Not the relief driver. So if any one still has Vickers you best drop him. His points will be Hamlin's. It takes a good 3 minutes to switch out drivers so he may go down a lap under caution. Since it's been raining I'm betting NASCAR has a competition caution around lap 30 or so. Either that or a phantom debris caution just so Hamlin can get out of the car. I'm sure they're nervous about him being in the race.

This is a crap shoot as far as races go but there are some guys you can expect to be there in the end on most speedway races. Johnson is one of them. Dale Jr, Keselowski, Edwards, Kenseth, Kyle B, Stewart, Bowyer, Truex and Biffle.

Others that are there after wrecks cause opportunity are Burton who has benefited on numerous occasions after a speedway wreck. Almirola, Gilliland, Ambrose, David Ragan and Mears. 

Avoid Gordon and Kyle B. Both had issues last week. Looks like a rerun of last year. Who will screw up one point less than the other to get in the Chase. 

Logano is still hanging in there. He has a 4th place start. 

Michael Waltrip starts 14th in the #55. Martin is vacationing away from the Dega Crap Shoot. If you need a C lister he'd fit the bill. 

I'm still expecting a break out with McMurray and Montoya. They're both getting closer every week.

My Yahoo picks this week? Kenseth, Edwards, Dale Jr & Patrick. I'm hoping my race winner and top 10 picks aren't sitting on the bench like last week. Kahne needs to stay away from my team. 

This would be Gordons Dega car. Nice huh? I like it Don't pick it though. 

REPORT CARD FOR 2013 GEN 6 CAR

------>1,203 more green flag passes than last year after 9 races.

------>Average margin of victory .634 seconds compared to last years 1.759 seconds.

------>49.9% of cars finishing on the lead lap. Up from 38.2% from last year.

------>83.2% of the cars running at the end of the race. Up 3% from last year.

So I guess the car is doing what it's supposed to. Go really fast and turn left. The reason there's more cars running at the end is because NASCAR made rules to discourage Start & Park teams. They all try to finish now. It's good and bad. Good for competition and bad if a power house team car has a bad day. They can't count on gaining a whole lot of spots any more from the back. It used to be you knew there'd be 6 to 10 cars out by lap 75 so if you had a bad day you wouldn't be worse than about 30th. Not now. Tough racing.

COOL FISH STORY

If you look this up on You Tube or Grindtv.com there's a great video. These guys were out swordfish fishing and they hook a 600 lb swordfish. Problem is an equally huge Mako shark decides he wants that swordfish too. He body slams the boat. He also mauls the swordfish. Great video. Wish I could figure out how to move videos. Worth a look up. 

Kirk and James of Metallica played a great rendition of the Star Spangled Banner at a SF Giants game too. Also worth a look up.

Any who, it's Sunday. We got Gabbers traveling. I hope they're safe. Hope your day is filled with the happening of your choice. Be it swordfish fishing, Yuengling guzzling, bear hugging, grilling, chasing your neighbors pet flamingos out of your yard or breakfast with great company. Do it well and enjoy your day and....

I'm outta here.....