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Tuesday's Tantrum, 7/8/14
Category: FEATURED

DISCLAIMER:  There will be extra cursing in this one because of rampant stupidity by a certain NFL Rookie.  If you don’t like cursing, don’t read my take on “Johnny Football”.  You’ve been warned!!!


Good Morning and welcome to the tantrums, where I hope everybody enjoyed their hopefully long 4th of July weekend.  Unfortunately here, Mrs. B.O.B. got called to two fires and has been gone since Thursday morning at 3AM.  The fires have been near the Napa Valley area, though not quite there.  This is the bad part of Summer, but this is where her team had to rough it:

Baseball.  Don’t look now Gabbers, but the Seattle Mariners are 8 games above .500, it’s just before the All-Star Break, and they hold the final Wild Card spot in the AL.  If they could just win at home…

Oakland A’s.  What last weeks series in Detroit between the A’s and the Tigers proved was that the A’s  needed something more, and boy did Billy Beane pull something off getting another starter and addressing that flaming gas can known as the Oakland Bullpen.  I love the trade with the Cubs to get Samardzija and Hammel for some prospects and Dan Straily.  This move SHOULD solidify Oaklands hold on the AL West and maybe open their 4.5 game lead over the Angels.

Now the A’s have Gray, Kazmir, Hammel, Chavez, and Millone as the starters and a quality closer.  Good Lord if Jim Johnson can get his groove back, I’m not seeing anybody who can touch the A’s so long as they have their bats. 

NBA Free Agency.  What a bunch of crap this is.  How is it that two superstars can hold up the decisions of all the teams in the NBA and all the players waiting for their turn to make a buck?  Look Carmelo and LBJ, you two fucking divas, stop bullshitting, you all know where you wanna go, just make it official and let the others get theirs.

Johnny Manziel.  Our favorite primate Johnny Monkey is pissed about his monogram being humiliated like it is right now.  You know it’s bad when he wants to come out of comfortable retirement in his favorite hammock on the beach being fed veggies by his bikini-clad harem of six foot tall Amazonian women and travel to Cleveland to beat the shit out of this snot-nosed punk and show him how a real “JM” rolls. 

First off, him yapping to the scribes about being the starter?  There’s a fine line between confidence and ego/arrogance young buck and you stepped way over it and into a burning bag of dog shit! 

Reports are his twitter posts and pics of his exploits are pissing off his teammates – not because of what he’s doing, but because of the media attention it brings them when the media asks them what they think.  Hey vets, if it bothers you that much, deal with it in Training Camp old school – just don’t go all Incognito on the little bitch, and yes my friends, that’s what he is and if you don’t like it, I don’t care

Browns ownership is trying to get this immature jackass to tone it down and not be so “in the spotlight”.  His response?  He goes out and makes it a point to take pictures with…wait for it…Justin Bieber?  Hey Johnny, you got the world by the balls and you wanna roll with the Biebs?  Of all people?  What, you want street cred?  Don’t you know that’s lame by anybody’s standards?  The street is laughing at you, the good people of Cleveland are laughing at you, smart chicks above the age of 14 want nothing to do with you, Texas is embarrassed by you. YOU’RE TRYING TOO HARD TO “BE COOL”.  Here’s a bit of knowledge for ya:  YOU’RE NOT COOL!  YOU’RE AN ASS – JOHNNY ASS CLOWN!

BTW Johnny, nice touch getting your pic taken rolling a dollar bill in a bathroom.  Nobody would ever speculate about that.  Oh, and since I’m also the YouGab Health Inspector, I call party foul on the taking the drink to the bathroom move.  That’s disgusting.

Johnny, you ignorant douche!  Hey Johnny Moose Twit, let this “grown up” who spent 22 years in the Navy watching much crazier and much cooler shit than you even thought about trying to pull give you some valuable life advice that your yes men and your parents are too cowardly to give you:  “What, does your dumb ass really think you are the first and only one to pound back copious amounts of grog, hang out at casinos, meet and hang w/famous people, and hit every skank (err, model) and/or slump-buster out there?  Got news for ya son, everybody did it to some degree back in the day, we just never shared it with the world.  That’s because we’re smart and you’re stupid!  Hey Johnny Dickweed, you ain’t fucking Broadway Joe, you’re not in New York City, and it ain’t the 1960’s.  PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!!!”

Oh, and while I’m dispensing advice:  Don’t throw your Beverly Hills and Las Vega$ adventures in folks faces – ESPECIALLY IN BLUE COLLAR CLEVELAND.   And while you’re at it you little ass-clown, rather than hanging w/a Vanilla Ice wannabe, try visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to see what REAL MUSIC is…If you don’t know where it is, try asking a Clevelander, IF you can bring your nose down out of the air long enough to converse with one.  DICK!

Johnny Bitch Boy should take that fucking silver spoon out his mouth and meet these good people of Cleveland because they are the ones who will be rooting for him, and they will be the ones to throw “the Biebs” in his face the minute he starts effing up on the field.  The folks of Cleveland will have your back far longer than those fake toads in Hollyweird and Lost Wages will.  I can’t wait til “Factory of Sadness” guy cuts loose with a six pack of verbal whoop ass the very moment this cocky lil waste of spooge effs up, YouTube will be on FIRE!!! 

The 49ers are pissing me right the hell off, so my fandom might be on the fence if I get one more police blotter report on those fools before camp.  If that happens, do you know who my new favorite team is?  That’s right, it’s anybody who plays the Cleveland Browns when Johnny Manziel is under center.  I’ll probably regret saying this, but I hope that Cincinnati, Piitsburgh, and Baltimore lay the MF-ing wood to this punk and knock some common sense and more importantly self-respect into him.

Hey Cleveland, do you seriously want me to believe that this pint sized clown who rolls with Justin Bieber is the answer to becoming the leader of your Professional Football team?  Oh no, no, no.  Holy shit, Greg Giraldo wants to come out of his freaking dirt nap to get him some of this one.  Bottom Line is this:  HEY JONNY QUEST, YOU’VE DONE EXACTLY SQUAT!!!  SHUT YOUR YAP, KEEP YOUR SHIT ON THE DOWN LOW AND GET TO WORK!  LEARN FROM THE VETS – YOU DAMN SURE DON’T KNOW IT ALL!!!

Josh Gordon.  Holy Crap.  Hey Josh, I get innocent until proven guilty, but how the hell did you even put yourself in a position to get Johnny Law to bust your ass for DUI?  Seriously?  With a suspension from the sheriff looming?  There ain’t a 12-step program in the world that helps stupidity.  What, you in competition with Aldon Smith to see who can be the most ignorant sumbitch in the NFL?

UFC.  I’m not big on this shit, even less so when the women scrap, but damn Rhonda Rousey only took 16 seconds to beat her opponent?  Good thing she isn’t carrying a PPV because nobody wants to shell out that kind of cheese on a 16 second fight.

But one thing I will say about that woman is that she is probably the baddest of all the Expendables.

Douche Bag of the Week.  There really isn’t much of a debate on this one this week:


Musings From The Hoodwood 7-8 Video Edition
Category: Daily Blog 2.0
Tags: NBA World Cup MLB NFL

Look who's in the Hoodwood this week!

Q-o-t-D 7/7/14 Tags: NFL Johnny Manziel Cleveland Browns

What do you think of this photo of Johnny Manziel?


Is he about to do some blow, or is he just playing for the camera?



Monday Moaning 7-7-14
Category: FEATURED
Tags: Life Kids The Beeze Anthony Cumia O&A Opie and Anthony Freedom of Speech Race


I hope everyone had a fun and safe 4th of July...Ours was good...Had some real good quality time with the kids...Saturday we visited my in-laws...That was rough...My father-in-law, while some things have improved, some things have gotten worse...Like the fact that he didn't know me...He asked my wife who I was...Then in the car, taking them to lunch, he asked if we had met before...I told him yes...He apologized, and I told him not to worry about it...Two minutes later he asked me if we had met before, again...Eventually, he accepted me...He didn't remember me, but he knew I was suppose to be there...It's a rough spot to see him in knowing how sharp he use to be...It was hard on my wife, but I told her, "he remembers you, that's important."  He has no recollection of Molly, but he was going downhill since just before she was born...He never had a chance to make memories with didn't stop her from giving hi big hugs when we left...

It ended up being an exhausting day...Then after we got home, we had to rush the puppy, Finnegan to the pet ER...He got stung by a bee in his paw...It swelled up, and he couldn't put weight on it...And tried biting anyone who tried to look at it...They took care of him quick, and he's doing fine...($124 later)...

You may be feeling what you felt Thursday when I posted THIS ...Just not feeling the Sports right now...I'm watching Baseball, and I'm falling in love, just like last year, with what the Pittsburgh Pirates are doing...They're fun and exciting to watch...

I had thought about writing about the NHL free agency madness...Now I can sit here and read all the idiot contracts given to defensemen who scored 5 goals and 13 assists, and pick apart what were good and bad moves...(most bad)...By I'm interested in that...A lot of people aren't...And it's even kind of boring to write about...

I could get into Brown WR Josh Gordon getting arrested for DUI as he's sitting there with 2 strikes against him from the NFL...But why? To say what we all knew already...He's a fucking idiot...A fucking 4 time loser who is pissing his talent and NFL career away...Maybe it's just me, but I'm just tired of reading and writing about athletes and their egos that have it all, but are just too fucking stupid to control themselves...

I could write about the buzz swirling here in Cleveland about the hopes of LeBron James coming back...But I hate basketball and if you've read my crap over the last 8 years, you know I've always hated the self proclaimed king...Long before "The Decision"...

But there's something that has gotten under my skin this 4th of July weekend...Anthony Cumia of the Opie and Anthony show was fired...Not for anything he said or did on the air...He was fired for exercising he freedom of speech on twitter...

Last week he was snapping pictures in New York city...He got pictures of lights, buildings, a tranny getting arrested, random shit going on in the city late at night...In one was a black women was snapped...Instead of talking to him about it, since it clearly bothered her, she called him a "white mother fucker" and began punching him...She punched repeatedly...He never hit back...He didn't pull his legally carried gun...Instead he tweeted his rage...He called her a "savage", an "animal" and a "cunt face"...He tweeted about the jump right to violence often seen in the black community...(I think its a problem in our entire society)...He tweeted numerous times, and some would be considered racial offensive...But more importantly he was talking honestly, brought on by anger, about a topic that everyone says we need honest discussion about, but whenever it's brought up, it's squashed immediately...

So first, stop saying you want honest discussion about race in this country...Because clearly a large portion of the black community doesn't want to, and a large portion of the white guilt driven media doesn't...

Second, I have listened to O&A for ten years...It's one of the only shows that will talk about ANYTHING honestly...Anthony has been called racist before, and has said racial harsh things before...I would say he's actually said more "offensive" things on the air...But in this country, if you say something that some have deemed "offensive" you automatically called racist, or sexist, or an asshole, or whatever the case may be, instead of your actions or words being taken as you wanting to get to the issue, and possibly get to a resolution...

Third, freedom of speech is dying, and its dying quickly...Everyone is afraid to speak their mind for fear that one weak-minded, low self-esteem having, twat will get upset...Then they'll beat the drum to try and ruin your life for what you said...Radio guys, TV talking heads, actors, they're just the start...Comedians will be next...Oh no a joke hurt some ones feeling...Your career is over!  But just wait...It will start happening at your office or whatever shitty job you and I have...Some dick-bag won't like that joke you made about Jews...You'll go for the quick comeback punch line, 'If you cant take the heat, get out of the oven!'


I don't care if you agree with Anthony Cumia or not...Sometimes I don't, sometimes I do...But we should all back him up in his right to speak his mind freely...I don't agree with a lot of awful shit said in this country, by a lot of fucking assholes, but I will always support their right to say their idiot shit...Fuckers are just making me look smarter...


I know kids...The Beeze has been a little salty and not bitching about sports...I'm in a different place right now, and I want this country, and this world to be better place for my kids...Honestly, some days, this is the only thing that keeps me from choking some fuckers out....




I figure that's a nice note to end on...Have a week...


The Beeze.

Mo's Roundup and Random Thoughts
Category: Daily Blog 2.0
Tags: world cup soccer torture red sox

I hope your July 4 holiday was wonderful.  Here in the Northeast US, it was all about Hurricane Andrew.  The day was a complete wash out.  We just kind of stayed inside, drank beer and played “Walking Dead” branded “Risk.”  This was a bit of a dumb idea, because there’s a ton of stuff going on in that game, and we didn’t really read the directions very well, so it wasn’t long before the board was overrun with “walkers” and

All I can say is wow.  The US Mens’ Soccer Team hit the knockout round of 16 and played 90 minutes of scoreless soccer, against a team widely regarded as their superior.  Ok, in the end Belgium got the best of the American squad, but in the extra time it got real quickly.  Belgium scored twice, but the US got one back.  If the first 90 minutes represented everything you, dear reader, hate about soccer, the additional 30 minutes had to represent what the game offers you.

American keeper Tim Howard was just ridiculous in goal, saving 16 shots.  Now, hockey goal tenders display mastery by their shots defended – soccer is no different.  It was all about Howard, who set a World Cup record for number of saves in a game.  Were it not for his effort, the US loses this game in regulation, likely 2 or 3 to nothing.  If you watched that game and still were not thrilled by soccer, then you already had your mind set.

Of course, the internet had an answer.  #thingsTimHowardcouldsave began trending after the game with absolutely brilliant content.  My favorite has to be Howard saving Mufassa (of “the Lion King.”)

So, as it’s wont to happen when I’m left to my own devices, my mind went awanderin and I went from an article reporting that the tomb of Vlad the Impaler (the basis for the legend of Dracula) had been found in Italy, to an article demonstrating why the first was ridiculous and stupid.  And of course, from there I decided to look at impaling, and then a list of brutal torture methods. Now, I have to admit, I hadn’t heard of a good portion of these methods and frankly the ones I hadn’t heard of are by far the most ghastly.  I mean what’s the most horrible aspect of this is that someone actually thought these things up.  #2 on the list is quite possibly the most horrible thing I’ve ever thought about.  One has to look at the illustration and ask what was going on in these guys lives that they said, “yeah, I think this is where I want to go.”  #18 is pretty frigging awful to think about too. 

It’s pretty remarkable how creatively awful people can be. 

Given Friday was July 4, it’s important to note that the Declaration of Independence was printed on hemp paper.  Or at least a couple of drafts of it were

The MLB All Star roster was released this weekend, which serves as a reminder that the season is almost half over.  It seems like a week or so ago the 2013 Champs received their rings at Fenway Park.  Now at the almost-half point, the 2013 champs are dead last in the AL East.  It’s been a pretty bad season for the Boston good guys and what’s really funny about it is that when the 2013 season opened, my joke was who was going to be worse the Yankees or Red Sox.  Well, after over-achieving last season, the Red Sox are where I expected they’d be a year late.  This is not a good team.  And yet, it’s substantially the same one that won it all last year.  Hard to figure this stuff out.  I will submit this, though: it’s better to have a fantastic year and suck the next year than to be mediocre.  Especially in Boston.  Mediocrity breeds hand wringing and angst.  Going wire to wire in first and winning it all and then sucking breeds emotion.  It sucks to suck, but the balm of a championship does soothe the burn.  But talk about torture methods, how about watching your team sink to the bottom after being on top.

It’s back to work today, so I hope you enjoyed your freedom weekend.  Back to the grindstone, recharged and relaxed. 


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