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A dumb idea...
I have NEVER liked it...
From the very beginning...

Putting a masterpiece...
In the hands of amateur partisans...
As biased as letting the President nominate a Supreme Court Justice...

It’s a popularity contest...
Oh yeah...
He had two great seasons...
Eight years ago...
Never mind the fact...
He’s batting .220...
And has a .289 On Base Percentage...
I guess I forgot to look at the stats...

And then you take this game...
A game that has meaning...
More meaning than any other of its kind...
More credibility, too...
In THIS game they actually play a thing called...
Defense...
Do you see that in the NFL Pro Bowl???
Or the NBA???
And NHL All-Star games???
Nope...

Hmmm...
Here comes a ground ball...
I’ll just let it roll between my legs so the fans can see more runs...
Like they do in the three other leagues...
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
Fades back to pass, touchdown!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
He shoots, he scores!!!
Another bucket by Lebron!!!
Another bucket by Lebron!!!
Another bucket by Lebron!!!
Another bucket by Lebron!!!
Another bucket by Lebron!!!
Another bucket by Lebron!!!
Another bucket by Lebron!!!
Another bucket by Lebron!!!
Another bucket by Lebron!!!
Another bucket by Lebron!!!
Another bucket by Lebron!!!
He just broke Wilt’s scoring record!!!

Umpire...
Do you have a softball in your bag???
So I can lob it slow-pitch style???
And here they take this All-Star Game...
After they have already put it into the hands of the fans...
And then they say...
“Let’s make it for home field advantage in the World Series...”
Brilliant!!!
And now we have voting on facebook...
And Twitter...
And My Space...
And the Home Shopping Network...

My wife even says she voted for Pujols on American Idol...
Before he hit his first home run...
But remember...
You only get 200 votes per site...
Per email address...
So the jobless...
And the lifeless...
Can vote to their little hearts’ contents...
I don’t care if they get it right every once in a while...
Just like...
Pin the Tail on the...

Don Quixote...
Ya know...
It’s just plain stupid...
I can’t remember the last time I voted...
But I do remember what I did when I voted...
I took my ballot...
And I pointed to a random position such as catcher...
And then I pointed to a random name at that random position...
And then I randomly told my son or daughter...
“Pick a number from 1 to 25...
And whatever random number it was...
I started from that random spot on the ballot...
And I counted...
Until I got to the random number...
And then I stopped on a random name...
Whoever it was...
And punched a random hole into the random card...
Sometimes with...
Other times without...
A random hanging chad...
Just to show my kids...
How ridiculous it is...
To have the fans vote for the All-Star Game...
Frankly...
I have better things to do in my random life...
Like write this random blog...
Or a cute quip on facebook...
Or Twitter...
Or the Home Shopping Network...
So you can have you All-Star Voting, MLB...
As for me...
I ain’t wasting my random time...
I’m too busy doing more important things...
Like watching wrestling...
dvt
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