Okay, to be honest, it's not like I really travel much...To let you people behind the mask a bit, I haven't been on a plane since I was 20 years old, and then I was in an alcohol induced coma...Both ways....Shit, I don't remember much of the trip because of all the drinking I did...And if you were to get me on a plane now, you'd either need lots of alcohol, or her!
So, I'm not gonna lie to ya, I don't have much sports to give ya...The week was crazy with running practices for Little Beeze's baseball team, and on the opposite days, my oldest daughter had softball games...Not easy to watch, and give her pointers, with 2 year old Molly wanting to go back to the playground...All week was a constant rush...
Wednesday was the kids last day of school for the year...The boy who was about a half a year behind his class when starting school this year, caught up, and exceeded the goals set for him by his teacher...Wednesday he received the President's Achievement Award...He did awesome! We're very proud...Our oldest slowly declined in her school work, getting more of a social life, and being a bit boy crazy...She did well, but she can do better...We're proud of her, but she got a talk about needing to do better...Now paying for Catholic School, I have become my Father...I always said I wouldn't get upset about my kids grades, or a bad progress report, the way my parents did...Now I do, and I understand why...I wasn't as harsh about it, but I made my point clear...
She did get a Music Award, Band Award, Accelerated Reader Award, Citizenship Award, and Day Dreamer Award...Still not sure how good that one is? The boy also got a Top Mass Participant Award, Good Friend Award, and Clean Desk Award, which got him in trouble since his room and little man cave are a fucking mess!
They had a good year, and they already have assignments that they have to have done for the first day next year...
Friday, the wife went out with a couple friends after work...Not bad, except besides staying home with my kids, her one friend dropped her 4 and 1 year olds off here...The kids are great with the 4 year old, which is good, because she tried testing me a couple times, and didn't like me saying no...So she went off with them in the playroom...The little guy hung with me and Molls...Which got interesting as she got a bit territorial...
The gals came back, had another glass of wine, or two and bs'ed...Which just made things crazier, because all the kids wanted to be around them, make noise, and spill shit...And I just wanted to watch the Bruins beat the Penguins....Which they did, and they'll be facing Chicago in the Stanley Cup Finals...I'll take the Bruins in 6...The Blackhawks are really good, but the Bruins have been playing flawless hockey, especially their goalie Tuuka Rask...They just look too strong right now...
Finally, people left, kids got to sleep, and a boozy Mrs. Beeze was feeling frisky...Ahhhh, it was all worth it!
Saturday morning Little Beeze and I went to the field for a two hour practice with our team...It stretched into almost 3 hours as I worked a little more with kids on their hitting, so they all wanted a turn...Then we had to clean up, and rush to a birthday party foe one of his classmates...We got home, and I just wanted to sleep...I took a nap for an hour, until Molly woke me up...We played a bit, then I started dinner...Totally forgetting the Belmont Stakes was about to take off...My oldest daughter reminded me...We rushed to the TV just in time to see the start...We did bet on this one, but I would have put my money on Revolutionary...I would have lost, as he came in 5th...It was 15-1 Palace Malice who won...Preakness winner, Oxbow finished second, and Derby winner, Orb came from the back of the pack to finish third...
Sunday was all about the kids...My wife took our oldest to see Raiders of the Lost Ark on the big screen...There is a local theater doing big time 80's movies every weekend, and that was one of the wife's favorites...I took Molls, and the boy to one of our favorite parks...They had a blast, as usual...
Loves her swings....
She also loves digging in the sand, that was a little damp...
Later on at home she found an ant hill in a crack in the sidewalk...Her brother dumped water on them, wanting to prevent them from getting in our house...After he went inside, she kept taking little cups of sand from her sand table, and was "Feeding them"...Here she is running back from "feeding them"...
Running...
Running....
And running....I need to find a way to bottle up that energy and store it...For myself, so I can keep up with these kids...This week will be crazy again...Both kids have 2 games and one practice...My oldest is also at Honor Band for a few hours Monday through Saturday mornings, with a concert Saturday night...The wife and I are going to see Bill Burr Friday night...And I'll be working Sunday, besides my Mon-Fri...So if anyone wants to cover for me next Monday, just let me know, I may be feeling lazy...
I know this is light on sports, but I'm kind of, totally wrapped up in my kids...Here's a couple quick local stories...Indians closer, Chris Perez and his wife got busted for having weed mailed to their home, in their dogs name...Are you surprised...I'm not...The guy looks like he'd be up for a party...And his now deleted Twitter account showed he was often a dope! You are what you smoke?
Browns WR, Josh Gordon got suspended for breaking the NFL drug policy...It should be interesting to see how this plays out, since Gordon is saying he failed the test because of a Codeine cough syrup he was prescribed when he had Strep...If his story is true, the NFL is going way too far...If his story is bullshit, I won't be surprised...Honestly, pro athletes being dopes, never surprises me anymore...
Ain't that the truth! Might be what the Chicago Blackhawks are saying to the LA Kings...The 'Hawks have taken a 2-0 lead on the Kings and will now head to LA to play games 3 and 4...Chicago's speed and skill has shown some weaknesses in the Kings game...And Goalie Johnathan Quick who has been so impressive through the playoffs, suddenly looks very human...I expect the Kings to take one game at home, but the way this series looks, I think it may be over in 5...That would be good for me since months ago I was saying Chicago would be in the Finals...
In the East, Boston went up 1-0 after shutting out the Penguins...Pittsburgh seem unsure of their goalies, and they got out of their own game, and tried to get physical with the Bruins...That's not a battle they're going to win...
And of course, where there is Penguins forward Matt Cooke, there is contraversy...Cooke who was a decent, player with some skill, at some point decided to be a shithead and make his career all about trying to injure people...Cooke started with knee shots...Then moved up to head shots...So when he called for this penalty Saturday, no one should have been surprised...
Yet, Penguins fans were unhappy...Odd...Later, the Bruins Brad Marchand made a similar hit on James Neal, and Boston fan didn't seem to get up in arms about the call...But it was the reaction from a Pittsburgh fan...A Pittsburgh citizen, that really caught people's attention on the internet...Meet Jordan Kuruc...
Wow!
I have said some awful shit to people online...Hell, I've said awful shit to their face...But this douchebag didn't seem to get why people were so mad about this tweet...And then when he apologized, and deleted it, he expressed the reason he felt bad was because "a kid died" in the bombing...This douche just couldn't get why people turned and attacked him on Twitter...Then, come Sunday he began to enjoy the role...Saying how he "Always wanted to be a heel in the WWE."
Jordan Kuruc felt bad that "a kid died" in the Boston bombing...Imagine this Jordan...You're a little girl...Ha! he does look like a bitch...Anyways...You're there, the bomb goes off...Your brother dies...Your mother suffers severe head trauma...Oh, and you lose your leg...Just imagine that...That's just one little girl's story...Now can you get why people are pissed...You got your 15 minutes for being a total fucking asshole...
I'm a dickhead, and I wouldn't have said that about a hockey game...Especially defending a piece of shit like Cooke...I want to wish pain and suffering on Kuruc....You know, like some awful shit...Like him and everyone he loves, get AIDS....But screw it...I'll rise above...You're fucking asshole, and everyone knows it....Oh, and thanks for giving me another reason to hate you're asshole city!
In other Hockey news, The New York Rangers fired their coach, John Tortorella...His abrasive style wasn't going to last much longer, even if the Rangers did beat the Bruins...Torts had his guys, and they bought into his system, and style he wanted them to play...Those that didn't, were bounced...Yet, he still found ways to shit all over the guys he had...The only people that got more shit were the media...So, this is why you hear no one arguing against his firing...He's a good coach...But shitting all over grown men is going to get old quick...I'm surprised it took as long as did before the players had enough...
But I have another question...Why is GM, Glen Sather not on the hot-seat...He's been with the Rangers for 13 years...He's had 6 coaches...The best the team has done is getting to one conference final...Now there is talk that he is looking at two of his old boys to be the next coach...Wayne Gretzky, who's first stint as a head coach wasn't a very good one...And Mark Messier...Messier's only coaching experience is coaching his son's pee-wee team...Yes, the fans would love it...Sure, some players might get a thrill out of it...But I don't think it's a good move...This team needs a proven coach...Not a couple of old super stars who are missing the spotlight...
-As for my weekend...It was pretty uneventful...Friday I was suppose to meet some old friends out for drinks...Sadly, I fell asleep with Molls while I was trying to get her down...
Saturday we had a baseball practice...The team is coming along well...Then we relaxed at home...Pizza, hockey, and a jam session...
Little Beeze finding the Groove...
Molls was a heck of a band leader...
That's it for now...Oh, and say hello to our NEWEST member...
On May 14th LeBron James (or as I like to call him - LeDouche) after being accused of flopping went on record as saying he not only doesn't need to flop but he wouldn't know how to do it in the first place. Really? Then what was that $5,000 fine for flopping, a mistake in judgment by an NBA referee? Was it the constant jeers from Pacer fans and just about anyone else who has to sit through a Heat game watching the never ending head grabbing, writhing in pain, rolling around on the floor like they've suffered an assassination attempt from merely being bumped? Are these guys really that soft at 7 feet tall that they can't take a bump from another 7 footer? I'm of the opinion that if you get fouled and roll around the floor like a school yard pussy who had his lunch money taken away then you need to go to the bench and sit out of the game until the next time the whistle blows, or you're cleared by the team neurological staff or maybe the Academy Award Committee for the performance displayed for all to see on TV, there just might be an Emmy or Oscar in their future.
So I got to thinking how much of a joke the NBA really has turned into and how babied these so-called athletes are. I saw footage today of Bird stealing Isaiah Thomas' inbound pass that he fed to Dennis Johnson for the game winning layup and it reminded me of how many times that Larry Bird gave us his best Fred Lynn impression by diving into tables and running over spectators to save a ball from going out of bounds, how often do you see that type of effort in today's game? To this day Bird suffers from awful back and leg problems but I bet if you were to ask him if he knew then what he knows now about how he'd be living his golden years he'd tell you he wouldn't change a thing, because it's how you play the game. The man was a competitor of the highest level, he put the team ahead of himself and his body, backed up his talk with results that often times made opponents look foolish. Even when hurt he didn't NOT go to the All-Star game to defend his 3-point shooting title like the prima donna's do now who suffer from the mysterious injuries that plague them only in February, like those debilitating "turf toe" injuries, or a bruised knee...pansies. What's the point of even having an All-Star game when only a handful of rookies show up and the "Stars of the Game", you know, the guys making 8 digit salaries are sitting on the sidelines in their $20,000 suits, that's if they even bother to show up. They don't give a shit about the fans, they care about their endorsement deals and being hurt can lead to those checks from coming in. Hell, most of the top NBA players make more money off the court than they ever will on it. Why? What is it they offer society that warrants making more money than most physicians will ever dream of and they save lives? I realize that slam dunking a ball through a hoop at 7 feet tall is a tremendous athletic feat, and it requires chest thumping and loud roars and growls at fans because it feeds their ego and shows the crowd, "Look at me, look at how I just slammed that ball...I'M AWESOME"!!! Yeah, they're a legend in their own minds is what they are. And LeBron is the head of all legends. I won't say KING? I'll never acknowledge that tool as KING of anything other than the KING of FLOPPERS and the KING who guaranteed he didn't' have to wait for or work for a championship like most of the greats, he took the approach used by the heads of the Five Families. He held a meeting in Miami with potential players for the Heat along with the "Don", Dwayne Wade and they assembled this team to win not one, not two, not 3 but 6 or 7 championships...no, not much ego there, besides the fact he took the easy way out and eveyone looks the other way becuase he's the NBA Poster Boy. Fuck Him!
So let's take a look at two athletes who are at the top of their game, LeDouche James, the flopping MVP and Zdeno Chara. Both have won championships recently. One dishes out hits, plays hurt, averages over 30 minutes of ice time at the age of 36, stands 6"9 and weighs 255 lbs., LeDouche is 6'8", 250 lbs and he's only 28 years old.
The videos don't lie...her'es LeDouche flopping all over the place like a fish out of water, in one clip he even winks after getting a flagrant foul called on an opponent, BUT, he doesn't FLOP! The Chara video speaks for itself...and keep in mind when you're watching this how much more he energy he exerts playing, and he isn't afraid to take a hit and one thing you'll never see is him whining or crying, or writhing on the ice from a fake injury. As for salaries, James makes 19 million a year, Chara makes $8 million. If I had the money I'd offer LeDocuhe 19 million to lace up the skates for just one 20 minute period of ice time with Chara...then he'd really have something to cry and flop about!!!
Did you notice that Chara never backed away from a fight, or a hit, he never whined or cried? Did you happen to see that when he was hit or blindsided he didn't roll on the ice waiting for a trainer but instead went after the guy who did it and made sure that he dished out a beating the guy wouldn't forget...EVER? In fact the guy who got his head caved in probably came up with an excuse to miss the next road trip to Boston or asked to be a healthy scratch just to avoid meeting up with the Chara again. But remember, James is the same size and weight as Chara, is 8 years younger, makes over double what Chara does and all he does is slam a ball through a hoop when he's not flopping or crying about being fouled or breathed on wrong. The NBA...pussies need only apply!
I hope all the moms out there had a great Mother's Day...We all know the MILF's did! Mother's Day...Shit, it should be called 'Dad get the kids out of here so Mom can be a lump all day!' I'm kidding, I'm kidding...I love all you moms out their....Especially my wife and my mom...Just remember ladies...Remember the lengths we go to on Mother's Day...Because it seems like when Father's Day rolls around, it gets blown off....Restaurants aren't booked solid for Father's Day...There isn't a big hoopla...A steak and a blow job should be the minimum requirement!
So, any big news stories this week....Oh yeah, THIS big story in the Cleve of course...I wrote that the night it broke...But after that I left the story alone...One of the reasons I left it alone was the Charles Ramsey angle...They guy was an instant media hit...Yes he did the right thing...But I was watching all his interviews, and then I heard his 9-1-1 call...I heard stuff that I expected, like him swearing...You could tell in some of the interviews he was fighting to keep certain words back...But the thing that bothered me was how his story changed in slight details, and how his 9-1-1 call didn't match with some stuff he said...Then there was the interview where he said, "I'm not a hero, I'm the definition of a man."
NOT SO FAST CHUCK...Yeah, you did the right thing...You along with another guy who got no love because he doesn't speak English...But Charles Ramsey has himself a hell of a record...Including 3 convictions for domestic violence and some unpaid child support...So while Charles Ramsey helped Amanda Berry break out of that door, and all of Cleveland is thrilled to have found these 3 young women alive, calling yourself "the definition of a man" is bullshit...Charles Ramsey may have changed his ways, but I don't think he can wear that label.
And right after the story broke people seemed quick to bash the police...Yeah, the 9-1-1 operator was an asshole...I think most people agree on that...And yes, police and the courts should have gone after this Castro bastard harder on stuff in his past...Like maybe when he beat the hell out of his ex-wife, busting up her shoulders, ribs, face, and causing a blood clot on her brain....Oh, and taking their kids and not returning them...Threatening to kill her...Yeah, people should have looked at this guy harder...But you can't blame every cop this...Especially when every time the city is in a budget crunch, they layoff Cops...The system is broken, not the police...
See, this is why I started light, with the MILF crap...because I knew this shit was gonna get heavier...
Well, may as well keep it heavy for a bit longer...Former Notre Dame Fullback, Asaph Schwapp died this past week after a long battle with cancer...He was 26 years old...Too damn young...
-So last week I brought up the NCAA Lacrosse Tourney...So here's what shook out this weekend...UNC beat Lehigh 16-7...Yale beat Penn State 10-7...Notre Dame beat Detroit Mercy 9-7...Denver beat Albany 19-14...Cornell beat Maryland 16-8...Ohio State beat Towson 16-6...Duke beat Loyal (md) 12-11 in double OT...and Syracuse beat Bryant 12-7...Action will pick back up Saturday...
-As for Hockey...The Rangers are killing me...There may not be enough beer in this house to get through Monday night's game 7 with the Capitals...Both teams have held their ground at home...So the Rangers have to break that Monday...Both Goalies have been amazing...5 of the the 6 games were won by won goal...Each goalie has a 1-0 victory...Braden Holtby is becoming an elite goalie right in front of our eyes...He's going toe-to-toe with Lunqvist...And the two superstar goal scores...ALexander Ovechkin, and Rick Nash have been shut down...It's the gritty, role players getting it done...
And Glen Sather looks like a genius for trading Marian Gaborik...Derrick Brassard has flourished with the Rangers, and has been one of their 3 best players in this series...John Moore, the young d-man has stepped right in, and shown he's an elite skater, with great hands, and loads of potential...And Derek Dorsett has played great in this series as well...One thing bothering me, is calling up Chris Krieder and giving him hardly any minutes...They refused to trade him in the Nash deal...He gave them great energy late last season...He has great speed...He's a play maker, and a goal scorer...Your team is struggling to score...He needs to be on the ice Torts!
Sunday night's game ended with some chippieness...Green and Ribero from the Capitals pulled a couple of cocksucker moves late in the game, and when the horn sounded at the end of the game...After the Ranger 1-0 win, the well composed unit let the Caps know they weren't forgetting about it...And the Caps were trying to get in their head for game 7...Monday night's game should be fun...But I'll be sure to have my blood pressure meds and a six-pack sitting next to me...
The Boston Bruins will also be in a game 7 Monday night...Some how they let the Maple Leafs back in, and all the sudden the Leafs are giving them fits....WOW! Who would of thunk it!
Welcome to this edition of the world according to… oldharry here with my faithful talented and opinionated sidekick. Some of you know shorty, who uses parody, sarcasm, innuendo, insult and pain to nail the heads of his adversaries to the floor.
Let’s get one thing straight, the rumors circulating that say oldharry was holed up at the Tavern for the better part of two years pacing and ranting that it was Josephine’s fault or it was France’s fault are somewhat exaggerated…just happened to be checking in and looking for my car keys…to the Rambler Classic, she just won’t start without the keys, when Mo ventured in…a total coincidence I’ve been assured…and as for the
hors d’oevres ?… perhaps another time
I’m excited to be filling in at the Gab from one of the catbird seats at the end of the bar at Mo’s.
No, it’s not the Bandits ergonomically correct high back leather stool.
Anyway, it’s a real honor…I don’t need an actual seat, as many of you know, ole shorty serves the purpose quite well.
where are the snacks? chex mix is not a snack!
It’s been a while since shorty has been seen at the Gab but he’s kept himself busy pursuing his own interests…
He worked as a diet guru after being asked to leave the Tavern with some nice gentlemen dressed in blue a couple of years back. His Atty, Jackie Chiles Esquire was able to work out a plea agreement and keep shorty on the street with just a few hours of community service. Terms of the agreement forbid shorty from telling Irish or blond jokes in public.
This past weekend saw the NCAA get down to the final four…shorty finally got around to doing his brackets on Tuesday and has been remarkably accurate…picked the final four! Shorty’s predictions for the rest of the tournament : Michigan will play Syracuse and Wichita State will take on Louisville on Saturday in Atlanta
Louisville and Michigan will square off in the finals and Michigan will take it by a score of 74-67
Prayers for Kevin Ware for a speedy and full recovery.
Major League Baseball season opened this week and fantasy baseball here at the Gab is in full swing as well,
Them Astros won the seasons first game with that AAA payroll. They looked like a triple A team vs Darvish in the second game.
Right now every team has at least an outside shot of winning it all
my Red Sox are two and oh.
Their are a few teams that are still trying the old George Steinbrenner method of buying a championship.
The most “brennerized” teams are:
#1 New York Yankees $ 228,835,000.00
#2 L A Dodgers $ 216,597,000.00
#3 Phila Phillies $ 165,385,000.00
#4 Bostahn Red Sox $ 150,655,000.00
#5 Detroit Tigers $ 148,414,000.00
And last and least, Houston Astros $ 23,000.000
I guess now is when I throw out my MLB predictions,
Atlanta will beat Detroit 4 games to 3 in the World Series some time in early November
Shorty is all about being = and doesn’t want the ankle bracelet back on so
This is:
A Brunette joke.
A young and beautiful brunette walks into her doctors office,
and says, “ doctor you have to help me, my body hurts wherever I touch it”
“That’s strange and highly unlikely, show me” . he says
At that she poked herself on the elbow and screams in agony, pokes her knee and doubles over in pain, touches her forehead and screams out again…
The doctor looks her in the eye and says, “you’re not really a brunette are you?
Between tears she says,” no I’m really a blond”.
The doctor says, “I thought so…and… your finger is broken”
NHL, the Boston Bruins traded prospects and a conditional 2nd round pick for Jaromir Jagr to beef up their struggling power play, how much the 41year old Jagr has left in the tank remains to be seen but it can’t hurt the Bruins with the small price they paid.
Jagr has been in the NHL longer than teammates Dougie Hamilton age 19 and Tyler Seguin age 21 have been alive.
The question most of us Boston guys have though is, what will Mumbles Menino, our out going Mayor, call Jaromir if the B’s win the cup.
One of my sons says Mumbles will refer to him as Mick Jagger.
With Crosby out the Penguins aren’t as strong but as we know, read NJ Devils, anything can happen in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. If you’re in you can win. The Blackhawks and Montreal will both be in the mix.
In the
NFL, the SF 49ers have signed corner Nnamdi Asomugha for about 3 million to help or hope to shore up the secondary, also sent a late round draft pick to Cleveland for perennial back up QB Colt McCoy
And speaking of Irishmen…
There was this Irishman named O’Brien, he walked into a Boston Tavern.
The Bartender say’s to O’Brien, “what can I get you” O’Brien says,” get me three shots of your finest Irish whiskey my friend” and the bartender does.
Every day O’Brien does the same thing and after about a week the bartender says, “O’Brien, wouldn’t it be easier if I put all three shots in one glass?”
O’Brien replies, “not really, you see I have two dear brothers back in Ireland, Kevin and Timmy and whenever I’m in a bar or tavern, to remember the times when we were together, I order a shot for each of us.
A couple of weeks later O’Brien comes to the bar and orders just two shots of whiskey, the bartender, concerned that something has happened to one of O’Brien’s brothers says, “ O’Brien my friend, is everything alright back home with your brothers?” O’Brien says, “their is no problem at all, my brothers are just fine, it’s that I’ve decided it’s time I stop drinking”
I just got the Rambler back from the body shop,
You gotta admit…she’s a real lady!
Thanks for the visit and the comments.
Hey…that’s my buddy Lanz over there…and he’s talking sports ----------->
