I hope all the moms out there had a great Mother's Day...We all know the MILF's did! Mother's Day...Shit, it should be called 'Dad get the kids out of here so Mom can be a lump all day!' I'm kidding, I'm kidding...I love all you moms out their....Especially my wife and my mom...Just remember ladies...Remember the lengths we go to on Mother's Day...Because it seems like when Father's Day rolls around, it gets blown off....Restaurants aren't booked solid for Father's Day...There isn't a big hoopla...A steak and a blow job should be the minimum requirement!

So, any big news stories this week....Oh yeah, THIS big story in the Cleve of course...I wrote that the night it broke...But after that I left the story alone...One of the reasons I left it alone was the Charles Ramsey angle...They guy was an instant media hit...Yes he did the right thing...But I was watching all his interviews, and then I heard his 9-1-1 call...I heard stuff that I expected, like him swearing...You could tell in some of the interviews he was fighting to keep certain words back...But the thing that bothered me was how his story changed in slight details, and how his 9-1-1 call didn't match with some stuff he said...Then there was the interview where he said, "I'm not a hero, I'm the definition of a man."

NOT SO FAST CHUCK...Yeah, you did the right thing...You along with another guy who got no love because he doesn't speak English...But Charles Ramsey has himself a hell of a record...Including 3 convictions for domestic violence and some unpaid child support...So while Charles Ramsey helped Amanda Berry break out of that door, and all of Cleveland is thrilled to have found these 3 young women alive, calling yourself "the definition of a man" is bullshit...Charles Ramsey may have changed his ways, but I don't think he can wear that label.

And right after the story broke people seemed quick to bash the police...Yeah, the 9-1-1 operator was an asshole...I think most people agree on that...And yes, police and the courts should have gone after this Castro bastard harder on stuff in his past...Like maybe when he beat the hell out of his ex-wife, busting up her shoulders, ribs, face, and causing a blood clot on her brain....Oh, and taking their kids and not returning them...Threatening to kill her...Yeah, people should have looked at this guy harder...But you can't blame every cop this...Especially when every time the city is in a budget crunch, they layoff Cops...The system is broken, not the police...

See, this is why I started light, with the MILF crap...because I knew this shit was gonna get heavier...

Well, may as well keep it heavy for a bit longer...Former Notre Dame Fullback, Asaph Schwapp died this past week after a long battle with cancer...He was 26 years old...Too damn young...

-So last week I brought up the NCAA Lacrosse Tourney...So here's what shook out this weekend...UNC beat Lehigh 16-7...Yale beat Penn State 10-7...Notre Dame beat Detroit Mercy 9-7...Denver beat Albany 19-14...Cornell beat Maryland 16-8...Ohio State beat Towson 16-6...Duke beat Loyal (md) 12-11 in double OT...and Syracuse beat Bryant 12-7...Action will pick back up Saturday...

-As for Hockey...The Rangers are killing me...There may not be enough beer in this house to get through Monday night's game 7 with the Capitals...Both teams have held their ground at home...So the Rangers have to break that Monday...Both Goalies have been amazing...5 of the the 6 games were won by won goal...Each goalie has a 1-0 victory...Braden Holtby is becoming an elite goalie right in front of our eyes...He's going toe-to-toe with Lunqvist...And the two superstar goal scores...ALexander Ovechkin, and Rick Nash have been shut down...It's the gritty, role players getting it done...

And Glen Sather looks like a genius for trading Marian Gaborik...Derrick Brassard has flourished with the Rangers, and has been one of their 3 best players in this series...John Moore, the young d-man has stepped right in, and shown he's an elite skater, with great hands, and loads of potential...And Derek Dorsett has played great in this series as well...One thing bothering me, is calling up Chris Krieder and giving him hardly any minutes...They refused to trade him in the Nash deal...He gave them great energy late last season...He has great speed...He's a play maker, and a goal scorer...Your team is struggling to score...He needs to be on the ice Torts!

Sunday night's game ended with some chippieness...Green and Ribero from the Capitals pulled a couple of cocksucker moves late in the game, and when the horn sounded at the end of the game...After the Ranger 1-0 win, the well composed unit let the Caps know they weren't forgetting about it...And the Caps were trying to get in their head for game 7...Monday night's game should be fun...But I'll be sure to have my blood pressure meds and a six-pack sitting next to me...

The Boston Bruins will also be in a game 7 Monday night...Some how they let the Maple Leafs back in, and all the sudden the Leafs are giving them fits....WOW! Who would of thunk it!

Playoff hockey people...Can't beat it!

Have a week...

The Beeze.

Welcome to this edition of the world according to… oldharry here with my faithful talented and opinionated sidekick. Some of you know shorty, who uses parody, sarcasm, innuendo, insult and pain to nail the heads of his adversaries to the floor.

Let’s get one thing straight, the rumors circulating that say oldharry was holed up at the Tavern for the better part of two years pacing and ranting that it was Josephine’s fault or it was France’s fault are somewhat exaggerated…just happened to be checking in and looking for my car keys…to the Rambler Classic, she just won’t start without the keys, when Mo ventured in…a total coincidence I’ve been assured…and as for the

 hors d’oevres ?… perhaps another time

I’m excited to be filling in at the Gab from one of the catbird seats at the end of the bar at Mo’s.          

 No, it’s not the Bandits ergonomically correct high back leather stool.

Anyway, it’s a real honor…I don’t need an actual seat, as many of you know, ole shorty serves the purpose quite well.

 where are the snacks? chex mix is not a snack!   

It’s been a while since shorty has been seen at the Gab but he’s kept himself busy pursuing his own interests…

He worked as a diet guru after being asked to leave the Tavern with some nice gentlemen dressed in blue a couple of years back. His Atty, Jackie Chiles Esquire was able to work out a plea agreement and keep shorty on the street with just a few hours of community service. Terms of the agreement forbid shorty from telling Irish or blond jokes in public.

This past weekend saw the NCAA get down to the final four…shorty finally got around to doing his brackets on Tuesday and has been remarkably accurate…picked the final four! Shorty’s predictions for the rest of the tournament : Michigan will play Syracuse and Wichita State will take on Louisville on Saturday in Atlanta

 Louisville and Michigan will square off in the finals and Michigan will take it by a score of 74-67

Prayers for Kevin Ware for a speedy and full recovery.

Major League Baseball season opened this week and fantasy baseball here at the Gab is in full swing as well,

Them Astros won the seasons first game with that AAA payroll. They looked like a triple A team vs Darvish in the second game.

Right now every team has at least an outside shot of winning it all

my Red Sox are two and oh.

Their are a few teams that are still trying the old George Steinbrenner method of buying a championship.

The most “brennerized” teams are:

#1 New York Yankees    $ 228,835,000.00

#2 L A Dodgers              $ 216,597,000.00

#3 Phila Phillies              $ 165,385,000.00

#4 Bostahn Red Sox        $ 150,655,000.00

#5 Detroit Tigers             $ 148,414,000.00

And last and least, Houston Astros  $ 23,000.000

I guess now is when I throw out my MLB predictions,

Atlanta will beat Detroit 4 games to 3 in the World Series  some time in early November

Shorty is all about being = and doesn’t want the ankle bracelet back on so

This is:

A Brunette joke.

A young and beautiful brunette walks into her doctors office,

and says, “ doctor you have to help me, my body hurts wherever I touch it”

“That’s strange and highly unlikely, show me” . he says

At that she poked herself on the elbow and screams in agony, pokes her knee and doubles over in pain, touches her forehead and screams out again…

The doctor looks her in the eye and says, “you’re not really a brunette are you?

Between tears she says,” no I’m really a blond”.

The doctor says, “I thought so…and… your finger is broken”

NHL, the Boston Bruins traded prospects and a conditional 2^nd round pick for Jaromir Jagr to beef up their struggling power play, how much the 41year old Jagr has left in the tank remains to be seen but it can’t hurt the Bruins with the small price they paid.

Jagr has been in the NHL longer than teammates Dougie Hamilton age 19 and Tyler Seguin age 21 have been alive.

The question most of us Boston guys have though is, what will Mumbles Menino, our out going Mayor, call Jaromir if the B’s win the cup.

One of my sons says Mumbles will refer to him as Mick Jagger.

With Crosby out the Penguins aren’t as strong but as we know, read NJ Devils, anything can happen in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. If you’re in you can win. The Blackhawks and Montreal will both be in the mix.

In the

NFL, the SF 49ers have signed  corner Nnamdi Asomugha for about 3 million to help or hope to shore up the secondary, also sent a late round draft pick to Cleveland for perennial back up QB Colt McCoy

And speaking of Irishmen…

There was this Irishman named O’Brien, he walked into a Boston Tavern.
The Bartender say’s to O’Brien, “what can I get you” O’Brien says,” get me three shots of your finest Irish whiskey my friend” and the bartender does.

Every day O’Brien does the same thing and after about a week the bartender says, “O’Brien, wouldn’t it be easier if I put all three shots in one glass?”

O’Brien replies, “not really, you see I have two dear brothers back in Ireland, Kevin and Timmy and whenever I’m in a bar or tavern, to remember the times when we were together, I order a shot for each of us.

A couple of weeks later O’Brien comes to the bar and orders just two shots of whiskey, the bartender, concerned that something has happened to one of O’Brien’s brothers says, “ O’Brien my friend, is everything alright back home with your brothers?” O’Brien says, “their is no problem at all, my brothers are just fine, it’s that I’ve decided it’s time I stop drinking”

I just got the Rambler back from the body shop,

You gotta admit…she’s a real lady!

Thanks for the visit and the comments.

Hey…that’s my buddy Lanz over there…and he’s talking sports ----------->

Another week has gone by but what a bust sports week. MLB has started and we have a final 4 as well, of course the NHL trade deadline has came and gone.

Tuesday night I was watching the dodgers play the Giants and heard for the first time in a very long time the tones of Vin Scully doing the game. Vin doing the game alone as he has done for many years but he is still a great artist when he calls a baseball game , you can see what’s happening but he still paints an eloquent picture as he describes the action in a sort of cadence that many of today’s play by play guys lack. Yeah his voice seems a bit older and a bit more tired but he still is as sharp as a tack and does a great job.

Yu Davirish almost gets a perfect game right out of the gate against the Houston Astro’s. It was spoiled in the 9^th with 2 away. The Rangers combined for 43 strikeouts in the three game set with Houston to set a new major league mark for most strikeouts in the first three games. That is with a big Astro in on Sunday.

Meanwhile Jackie Bradley JR. made his MLB debut on Monday with three walks and a stolen base. Last night Bradley got his first major league hit knocking in a run andscoring a pair as. The Red Sox start the season 2-0 in the Bronx. Don’t worry all you Red Sox and  Yankee haters they will finish out of the mix.

NHL Update

trades found on NHL.com but the opinions are mine.

The trading deadline has come and gone and a few guys were on the move.

Jaromir Jagr will wear Black and Gold again but this time not as a Penguin as a Bruins maybe the 41 year old will give the bruins the scoring punch they need. The Bruins also got Wade Redden from the players for a 7^th rounder. The Blues getting Jay Bouweester from Calgary who I thought the Bruins would go after to help out  Zdeno Chara. The Blues also got Jordan Leopold from the Sabres.

The biggest deal of the day was Gaborik to Columbus as the Rangers dealt him with a pair of defenseman  Steve Deleslie and Blake Parlet for John Moore and a couple of Dereks. Derek Dorsett and Derick Brassard. This was probably the biggest deal of the day. Trading a consistent 40 game scorer.

Minnesota got  Jason Pommeville from Buffalo and in return the Sabres got John Larsson and Goalie Matt Hackett and a draft pick a 4^th rounder.

There were a bunch of moves beside Minnesota involving goalies as well. Philly and Columbus traded Netminders as Mike Leighton will be a Blue jacket and George Mason becomes a Flyer. Meanwhile the Senators traded Goalie Ben Bishop to the Bolts for Cory Conacher. There were abunch of other moves as e=verybody is trying to fill a need andf ramp up for the playoffs as always a pretty active past couple days for deals.

Final Four

You know who they are. Michigan(Go Blue) Syracuse, Louisville and Marquette.

LIL Warrior Update

The boys finished the regular season with a win of Nashua Friday Night finishing 18-6-3. It was a chippy game the boys had a 5-0 lead and Nashua battled back to 6-3. lil Lanz got beat playing defense for one of the Nashua goals. The boys played the first round of the playoffs last night had a 3-0 lead and let  their opponents back into the game hey tied it at 3 and the boys got a pair of goals late and took the first round 5-3. They will play Saturday a win there they will play for a league Championship on Sunday.

That’s all folks ==

If losing a shootout to rival Montreal wasn't bad enough...Then Bruins goalie Tuukka Rask a bit of a tantrum, that got embarrassing quick...

I hope the only thing he hurt was his pride!