Tagged with "Cleveland Browns"
Monday Moaning (Salad Tossing Edition)
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NFL Cleveland Browns Salad Tossing Peyton Manning Lance Armstrong Macho Salad Rob Erickson ESPN Baseball HOF Craig Biggio Rob Chudzinski


Lots of shit to talk about this week, so lets get right into it...Thursday night news broke that the Cleveland Browns had hired a new head coach...I had planned on going to bed early, but the news broke just around 11:00PM and I had some shit to say on Facebook and Twitter...

The Cleveland Browns hired a guy that the Cleveland Browns had twice fired...No, I'm not lying...The Browns hired Rob Chudzinski...He was last the Panthers Offensive Coordinator...A position he held in Cleveland, before getting shit-canned for the second time...Thursday night, I wrote that I was "Officially tapping out." I'm standing by those words...I am done with the Cleveland Browns...Fuck fan loyalty, players and owners show no loyalty to fans...I've had enough of the shit football that as been played in this town, since 1999...Why is it so hard to hire a proven, winning NFL coach...'Cause the Browns refuse to...The Browns can Eat my ass!

Fans seem about 50/50 on the hiring of "Chud"...Those who are happy with it, point to the 2007 season when he was the Browns OC, and their offense was really good...Lets be clear, no team that he has been an OC of, has ever made the playoffs...In 2007 the Browns were 10-6...They didn't make the playoffs...Also, they all seem to refuse to look at the 2008 season, when his Browns offense was #31 in the NFL...31! "Chud" can eat my ass!

You know who else can eat my ass...Peyton Manning, and the nut-swinging sports media that love him so much...Peyton choked again, but how the talking heads wanted to stick up for him...The guys at BARSTOOL nailed it...The only thing worse is the ESPN darling, Ray Lewis...The most annoying, obnoxious, camera mugging, accessory to murder but got off, piece of shit, alive...I mean this totally...100%...I hope some one on the Patriots cripples him next week...Fuck that guy!

And while people are eating my ass...How about those high and mighty, ass-hat, baseball writers who vote for the Baseball Hall of Fame...These twats decided to not elect anyone to the Hall this year...They all are hiding under the umbrella of the whole steroids speculation...And that's the problem, right there...Speculation...Very little has been proven, so all were punished...That and the assholes who try to say a guy "isn't a first ballot Hall of Famer"...Holy shit, that's retarded...If he's a Hall of Famer, then that's it...No questions about it...And a guy like Craig Biggio, with over 3000 hits and never any speculation of 'roids should have been put in...His numbers are right there with other Hall of Fame second basemen...

But the best statement about what transpired, came from a commenter on ESPN.com...Of course it wasn't from some one who worked there...My pal AFD clued me into this guy Rob Erickson's comment....

"So the baseball writers who were covering the sport every day and watched guys' numbers and muscles inflate at an inhuman rate for years and didn't say anything about it are punishing the guys who aren't even suspected of using PEDs for not snitching... on their friends and teammates? Because they didn't feel like doing their own job as journalists, they're blacklisting an entire era of players for not doing something they weren't willing to do themselves. Great, shut out anyone who played in the steroid era. Just take away the HOF votes of any journalist who covered the sport during the steroid era too."


Dead on Rob!

And since I got an ESPN dig in there...Let me get another, because there's always a reason for them to eat my ass...Am I the only one who noticed that they love talking about coaching, with two certain members of their staff...Two certain ex-head coaches...Some how, these two ex-coaches are the know-it-alls when it comes to coaching...Odd, since they both have losing records as head coaches...That's right, Eric Mangini, and Herman Edwards....Shut the fuck up and go win some games before you tell us how to coach, or eat my fucking ass!

And how can I forget lance Armstrong? Lance has finally decided to come out and admit to having cheated....A sport that most people don't care about, that had hardly any credibility, now will have it's only star confess to being a fraud...And who will Armstrong confess to? Not a sports journalist...Not even a sports news reader...No, he's going to give confess to a rich bitch, who can't stick to a diet...That's right, Oprah...Just another reason not to take Lance or his sport seriously...This is simply a PR move for him...He's trying to save a bit of his rep, and repair the damage he did to the charity he started, that so many are thankful for...Lance, Eat my Ass...Just don't bring Oprah...there won't be anything left for the rest!

All this talk of SALAD_TOSSING reminded me of the "Macho Salad"....

Have a week...

The Beeze.

Monday Moaning 1-7-13
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NFL NCAA NHL Chip Kelly Cleveland Browns Notre Dame Alabama Sources SEC BCS World Junior Championship Hockey



I don't know about you, but I'm ready for tonight's game...I've been waiting too long for this...The Notre Dame Fighting Irish will take on the Alabama Crimson Tide for the NCAA, BCS, National Championship...I find it funny how there are so many ND haters, who always complain about the media attention the Irish get...But all I've seen and heard for the last 2 weeks has been people swinging on Alabama and Nick Saban's nuts...hardly anyone is giving the Irish a chance...Who cares that they are an undefeated #1 team...Who cares that the ND defense has only given up 2 rushing TD's and a total of 10 TD's all year...

No that doesn't matter right...Because Alabama is from the big bad SEC...Hmmm...I think Friday night, the SEC's best team played in the Cotton Bowl, as Texas A&M beat the living shit out of Oklahoma...You know, Texas A&M...The same Texas A&M that beat Alabama, in Alabama...Hmmm...How did the rest of the big, bad, SEC schools do in their bowl games...

Overrated LSU was upset by Clemson...(Les Miles is a dolt)...Georgia had to come from behind to beat shitty Nebraska...Vandy won against NC State...Miss State lost to Northwestern...Ole Miss beat Pitt...South Carolina struggled and had to come from behind to beat a sorry Michigan team...Florida....#3 Florida was upset by by #21 Louisville...(33-23 but it wasn't even that close)...Now I look at this and see two teams struggled to beat crappy Big-10 teams, and the two teams that everyone felt at the Alabama level, Florida and LSU, lost their games...While no one gave any love to A&M, the team that beat 'Bama...In my view, this all adds up to the SEC has been overrated this year...A&M was underrated most of the year...And after Monday night I have a feeling SEC guy and 'Bama fan will be searching for an excuse to why the mighty Tide lost...

You can all keep doubting and hating the Irish...Fuck you!

People say you shouldn't say mean things, or wish ill on people...They say, "Bite your tongue." Well the only thing that happens when I bite my tongue is, I get a sore tongue! This is a tongue biting free zone! Fuck Alabama and all the SEC assholes!

Fucking rednecks! Nothing like being born, with three strikes against you already!

-Moving on...There has been a tentative deal struck to end the NHL lockout...There will be a deciding vote Tuesday to see if the deal passes...But everyone has jumped the gun and said there will be a season...Many are very happy about this news....

Me...I don't really care anymore...I have no interest in a possible 50 game season...All this bullshit has lost me for the year...Even if my New York Rangers come out and run the table, it won't matter...It will be a watered down season...A meaningless championship, with an asterisk next to it...Sorry NHL, but you lost me for now...

There was a great Hockey story this weekend, but sadly, it got little mention...The U.S. World Junior team beat Sweden 3-1 Saturday morning to take the Championship...Yep, the U.S.A.

Not Canada...It was the first time since 1998 that Canada didn't take home any medal...That won't go over very well up North...Not Russia...And not Sweden...The U.S.

Suck it world!

-Now...To this fucking Chip Kelly guy...Dude just spent a weekend getting free meals from 3 NFL teams, and getting the twitter-verse all wound up...Mother fuckers were going crazy in the Cleve thinking he was the next Browns coach..Not just local hacks...Even NFL Network and ESPN douches...Everyone saying "Sources are saying Kelly is close to signing with the Browns." These fucking guys and their so called "sources"...Why do you keep using these faceless, nameless "Sources" who are consistently wrong...Kelly moved on to other interviews, and then to another with the Browns...Stuffed his face, and said he's staying at Oregon!

All these inside douchebags and their "Sources" were totally wrong...Shocking! I for one, am glad...Fuck Chip Kelly...He's a college coach, running a college offense that won't translate to the NFL...If it did, there would be some one running it...Plus, I'm sick of this wacky Cleveland idea of giving a guy a NFL head coaching position, who has never done it before...I don't want a college coach...I don't want a hot-shot coordinator...I want a fucking real, proven, NFL head coach...

As for the rest of my weekend, it sucked...It just sucked a big steaming pile of sweaty balls...But all will be better when Notre Dame beats Alabama Monday night...If they don't, I'll still be here, taking shit from the rednecks...Win or lose, they can all eat my ass!

Have a week...

The Beeze.


Monday Moaning 12-24-12
Category: FEATURED
Tags: Christmas NFL MLB Music Movies Food Cleveland Browns Cleveland Indians Josh Cribbs Nick Swisher Savatage


Christmas is just about here, and Santa needs to get busy...But he always has time to not only give, but sometimes, he likes to receive as well...And the Beeze has been busy too...I've been trying my best to get into the Christmas spirit...And once the world didn't end Friday, I was forced to...The Mrs. and I had done no Christmas shopping at all...So Friday I did a little after a hellish day at work...Saturday morning she did a bunch...Then Saturday afternoon I went out and finished...

But I still wasn't super Christmasy...So I dug in and did some blogging...I posted my top 15 Christmas movies HERE...and my top Christmas songs HERE...

Sunday lead to spending more money on groceries for our annual family Christmas Eve party...It's become a tradition at our house, that my oldest daughter won't let die...I hope to one day have a bigger house and add friends to the mix, but right now it's just family...Mostly my side...The menu isn't fancy...We'll have a ham...Hanky Pankies...(ground meet, sausage, cheese, oregano, garlic, all mixed together and baked on party rye's)...Buffalo Chicken Dip...Shrimp Cocktail...My Holiday Balls...(Meat balls, thrown in a crock pot with chili sauce and grape jelly...Shockingly awesome!)...Beer, wine, soda, and my holiday punch...(Raspberry sherbet, ginger ale, strawberries, and vodka)...

So my Sunday was full getting that stuff together, and getting the kids out of the house so, my wife could get all the kids stuff wrapped, and hidden...Once again the kids and I went skating...The boy is getting better each time...

I watched a little of the Browns game...They looked like dirt, stinkin' ass...Bunch of guys got hurt..Who cares...After the game Josh Cribbs started firing off tweets at fans who are finally seeing what I've seen...The guy has become useless...Way to botch a punt return...Returns are all this guy did really well, now he sucks at those too...He's talking about leaving, and let me be the first to say, goodbye! Fucking waste of a roster spot!

The Indians signed Nick Swisher to a $56 million contract for 5 years...He's 32...WHY!?! So he can strike out a lot like the other guys they picked up this off-season...Oh, and lets not how he faded out last year with the Yankees...What is he going to finish the season strong with the Indians now...Surrounded by a weaker lineup, and out of the playoff hunt...People are excited about this move...Not this Cleveland pessimist...I think it's another mistake, in a long line of front office mistakes...

See people, this is why I was digging into Christmas hard...Because Cleveland sports make me sick...So, I'm announcing my baseball fandom is going to test the free agency market...I'll decide on which team I'm gonna get on board with in April, and for how long...As the NFL rolls into the playoffs, I'm all in with the Patriots...But I'll be rooting for the Seahawks in the NFC...Shit, I love how gritty that team is...Did you see them just blow up the 49ers Sunday night...42-13...WOW!

Next week, I'll have more sports for you...The College Bowl madness will be in full swing, and I'll be getting geared up for Notre Dame vs. Alabama...Can't wait!

With that all said, I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas...Or Happy whatever the fuck you celebrate...Just be sure to enjoy it, and enjoy it with the ones you love...

I'll leave you with a song from a group called Savatage...They did "Metal Operas" back in the day...Eventually a couple of them started Trans-Siberian-Orchestra...I always break this album out around Christmas, because the story takes place at Christmas time...The famous TSO "Christmas Eve (Sarajevo)" was originally on this disc...This is the closing song, and I still love it...(Thanks Chorba)

Merry Christmas..Have a week...

The Beeze.


Brownies, Beer, Hooleys and Zolaks
Category: FEATURED
Tags: Cleveland Browns New England Patriots NFL Shurmur Jovan Belcher Weeden



Life has this funny way of putting you in places you least expect.  If you had told me last week while I was sitting face to face with Sully that a week later I’d be sitting at The Hooley House in Cleveland watching the Browns/Raiders game, I'd have asked what drugs you were on.  A freaking time warp that I can neither explain, nor do I want to.   Imagine this for a moment: I’m watching the Browns and Beeze is ice skating.  That should have told me everything I needed to know about the game.    

More surreal than that was being enroute to the Metropolis of the Western Reserve, was the news of Jovan Belcher received while enroute.  I just have no words – just unspeakable – even almost a week later I’m having a hard time just processing what those who witnessed his actions at Arrowhead must’ve experienced, nevermind beginning to process what he had to be experiencing.  Its discussion that needs to be had, I’m just not sure I’m comfortable exploring that place just yet…and it’s rare for me not to have something to say.

But I know you swing by here to see what up, so I figure some good Cleveland Browns talk is just the right thing.

I will say this for the hometown crowd – they love the Browns.  That place was packed to the gills in Brown and Orange, probably held more people in there than were actually in attendance at the Oakland Coliseum for the game.  They just want to win…just any ray of sunshine.  I like that.  As an aside, I also like the fact that they sell beer in a cup holding approximately the equivalent of a quarter-keg for something like $4.50.  I remember going to games at the old Foxboro (nee: Sullivan, nee: Schaefer) Stadium when the Patriots were dreadful and I didn’t see the kind of passion for the team that you see in Cleveland.  Maybe it’s just because we New Englanders just like to be miserable or something. 

Zolak 1991Here’s a not wholly satisfactory comparison, but a reasonable one.  The 1992 edition of the Patriots was AWFUL. In 1990, they’d gone 1-15.  The next year they improved to 6-10, but by 1992 they were 0-10.   I mean this had not been a good team for a while. For game 11, Scott Zolak was named the starting quarterback after finishing a losing game (and making his first ever professional appearance) the previous week for an injured Tommy Hodson in the 4th quarter.  Not only did the Patriots beat the Colts (big), but Zolak was player of the week.  I loved that game.  Then he went out the next week and did it again.  A 2-game winning streak.  No one was talking about coach Dick MacPherson – a loveable, but ultimately inept professional coach – getting another season; Zolak was a bit of a folk hero but nothing more.  The next week he spit the bit, and was relegated to the bench for the rest of the year and for the next 6 years or so, he was Drew Bledsoe’s backup. 

So the Pats were terrible, being led by a 4th round/third-string quarterback that was in the game because the other two guys were hurt and who won exactly 2 games.  Cleveland has a first round quarterback who has won 4 games (he’s also 29 years old, but let’s not dwell too too much on that).  They’re BAD, but not terrible (ask this site and they’re “semi-good”).  Zolak became a folk hero with a huge arm but little accuracy, McPherson was dismissed with his 8-24 record; Sports Radio: Weeden is “starting to come around” (which is good because he needs to).  Coach Shurmur’s record as of this week? 8-20, with 4-more games to play.  A lot of the conversation I heard was a debate whether or not Shurmur should get another season, and maybe he’s got his team going in the right direction.  That’s a lot of wishful thinking from a lot of folks who know a lot about football.   Steelers fans might not appreciate the Cleveland crowd, but I do.  Wishful thinkers they…and beer drinkers.  Maybe the two are correlated. 

LAST WORD: Remember IHateMillen is raising cash to support juvenile cancer patients - this cat is going to shave his head to raise awareness and money for a cure.    http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/577265/2013 Donate here.  


This and That
Category: FEATURED
Tags: Gas pumps Kansas City Chiefs Jovan Belcher Cleveland Browns NY Giants Eli Manning SD Chargers Phil Rivers A-Rod Kentucky Northern Illinois

Kentucky has fallen, so has A-Rod, who got the better of the Rivers/Manning trade? All this and more in this weeks edition of…..

On the March 24, 2011 edition of “Rants and Raves” I posted a question..

Why is it that when you go to the gas station and use your credit card to pump gas, the gas pump doesn’t stop until your car’s gas tank is full.

Are you still paying attention, but, when you pre-pay, the gas pump slows down with about 50-cents to go and it then takes almost a minute or two to finish pumping? Any gas experts???

WELL, I finally got an answer to that question. I was pumping gas at my local gas station, when I noticed a mechanic working on one of the gas pumps. When I was finished pumping gas I walked over to the man and asked him that question and he politely answered the question as such…

When you use your credit card you have control on how much gas is pumped and how much you actually might want to spend so if you want to fill it up the pump won’t stop until the gas tank is full. But, when you prepay you want to only pay a certain amount, so to make sure the pump does not go over the prepaid amount the gas attendant presets when the gas starts slowing down as to not go over the price amount.

This has not been a good week for the NFL.

First Kansas City Chief’s linebacker Jovan Belcher kills his girlfriend, the mother of his daughter, then goes to Arrowhead Stadium, talks to GM Scott Pioli and Coach Romeo Crennel, thanks them for all they have done for him and then commits suicide. Now there is a 3 month old child, Zoey Michelle, without a mother and father.

If that wasn’t enough, and this went unnoticed….

Eric Eucker a member of the Cleveland Browns ground crew also committed suicide by hanging himself in the equipment shed.

I can say the Giants got the better of the deal with the Chargers for Eli Manning. There is no comparison. As we all know by now, Phil Rivers was drafted by the New York Giants with the 4th pick in the 2004 NFL draft, while Eli was drafted number 1 by the San Diego Chargers. Manning did not want to play for the Chargers they had a 25 year-old quarterback named Drew Brees running the plays for the team. The Giants traded Rivers along with three picks (which San Diego used to draft Shawne Merriman, Nate Kaeding and Roman Oben) to get Manning. Now Rivers, Kaeding and Merriman are great players, but, they have not won any Super Bowls with the Chargers, while Manning guided the Giants to two Super Bowl victories.

8 years and 12 games stat info for Phil Rivers

112 games of which he started 108, 27,254 yards, 181 Yds and 93 Ints. 4 Pro Bowls

8 years and 11 games stat info for Eli Manning

132 games of which he started 130, 30,469 yards, 200 Tds and 140 Ints, 2 Pro Bowls

Alex Rodriguez might miss time due to a second hip surgery. It is reported that A-Rod could miss the first half of the 2013 season. He will have to have his left hip to repaired to fix a torn labrum, bone impingement and the correction of a cyst. It could take four to six months to recover.

To some, they were expected to repeat (don’t tell that to Indiana fans), to others a top 5 team, but now the sky has fallen as Kentucky fell last week from #3 to #8, and this week fell off the map and outside the top 25, by losing to Notre Dame and Baylor. This is the biggest single weekly drop from the ranking since they went to a 25 team ranking in 1990.

Don’t make excuses that Kentucky is a young team, because Kentucky was a young and unproven team last year and they won the National Championship. I must also mention that Kentucky had the top recruiting class in the nation.

The first members to be inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame have been announced. Former Yankees owner Jacob Ruppert who purchased the team in 1915, bought Babe Ruth from the Red Sox, and built Yankee Stadium. Also elected into the Hall were umpire Hank O’Day and barehanded catcher Deacon White.

I am rooting for Northern Illinois to beat Florida State. I want to see an occasional underdog, or Cinderella story every once in a while. If I was FSU I would not take NIU lightly.


Til Next Time














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