Tagged with "Drink"
Monday Moaning 6-16-14
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NHL New York Rangers LA Kings Stanley Cup Finals Henrik Lundqvist Drinking Hotties Brad Richards Dan Girardi Marc Staal Hockey The Beeze

 

The Rangers lost the Stanley Cup Finals Friday night...There's only one real way to get over it...Yep, sexy women and drinking!

Now I haven't been full of confidence in this team all year, but when they've gone this far, it's hard to not buy into what they've been doing...They got to the finals for god's sake...They must have done something right...Well shit, they do have one of the best goalies in the world...He alone will steal you some games...But it was clear, against the Kings the Rangers would need more...As I pointed out last week...The lack of production from Rick Nash was a killer, and if they were going to come back, they needed him to start lighting the lamp...Well, it didn't happen...

 

 

That right there really sums up "the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat."

Lundqvist made 48 saves in Friday's double OT game 5...I'm not sure what else they guy could have done...The winning goal, he had no chance at, and still was close to getting it...Rewatching the play, the winger racing back, along with the two defensemen all went towards the shooter breaking in...Lundqvist made the save and the rebound went off to his right...Right onto the stick of the wide open defensemen Martinez...Martinez who also got the game 7, winning OT goal against Chicago in the conference finals...Nice playoff for him...

Lundqvist has always been an intense competitor, but I've never seen him look the way he did after this defeat....

 

It took some time before he got out of his pads...

 

 

My hope is that the Rangers who will stay in New York with Lundqvist, will remember tis feeling, and use it to drive them next year...

That said...Now is the part were I call some players out...As I mentioned, I took care of Nash last week...First...The three guys wearing "A" on their chests...Since trading Callahan no one has worn the "C"...

1. Brad Richards with his grossly high priced contract...Last year he sucked so bad in the playoffs Torts put him on the 4th line, and then scratched him for a couple games...That couldn't happen again right...Wrong...new coach Alain Vigneault put Richards on the 4th line during the Finals...Richards had 1 assist in the Finals...That's it...Big-money playmaker, one assist...Luckily, reports are now out that the Rangers will use their buyout and unload Richards after 3 disappointing seasons...

2. Marc Staal...At least 1000 of my tweets are bitching about how much Marc Staal sucks and is overpaid...Staal is suppose to be a top-notch defensive defenseman...BULLSHIT! He often looks slow...Often gets caught out of position...Often is too weak with his passes, or clearing attempts, leading to turnovers...I would be thrilled if the Rangers could trade this overrated prick...Please Carolina, try to reunite all the overrated Staal brothers!

3. Dan Girardi...This one hurts because I like Girardi...And when he shit the bed in game one and coughed up the puck in his own end, leading to a Justin Williams OT winning goal, I was pissed, but it's rare that he fucks up like that...But as I watched more, I noticed he was not playing like himself...His passes started looking like Staal's...He was getting physically manhandled...Not what you want to see from your defensive stalwart...I'm honestly expecting to hear about an injury with Girardi soon...His whole game looked off, and I wouldn't be surprised if an injury was the root of that...

So he's getting a bit of a pass, for now...But the other two can eat my ass...

The Rangers leading scorer  in the playoffs was defenseman Ryan McDonagh...While I'm glad the kid had a great run, that says something about your teams offense....But there are positives...Along with McDonagh, the Rangers showed there is a core of young, scrappy, talented players...Krieder, Stepan, Hagelin, Brassard, Zuccarello, all played well, and consistently through the playoffs, and all ahead of Richards and Nash in scoring...

The Rangers have some good talented players in the minors...Getting a few of them in the mix next year could add speed and grit...Two thing LA showed they had more of...LA rolled four strong lines...All had speed...All had at least one guy who will do the dirty work...They also rolled 6 strong blueliners...Not many teams can say that...

The fact of the matter is, The Rangers getting to the Finals was a helluva feat...But whatever team they were going to face was gonna be a bitch for them...Right now, the west is a better conference...LA, Chicago, Minnesota, St. Louis, San Jose, Anaheim, are all strong...Colorado is on a big upswing...Dallas is showing signs of life...The East has the Rangers, The Bruins, Montreal...The Penguins get hype but have show a knack of blowing up in the playoffs...Philly can't find a goalie worth a shit...Detroit is a mix of old and young, and was hammered with injuries...

The only team in the East that could hang with LA and Chicago this year would have been a healthy Boston team...And they weren't close to healthy come the playoffs...

Enough hockey...It's making want to drink more...

 

I hope all you dads out there enjoyed your Father's Day...Doing what I do...I had to work...So this is how I celebrated...

 

 

 

Have a week...

 

The Beeze.

Monday Moaning 5-19-14
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NHL Drinking The Beeze Life Blow Jobs Birdy Kids Music Preakness Stakes Californina Chrome NHL Playoffs NYR

 

 

Who needs a drink?

I do!  Shit, I already have two...Why waste time getting up and going to the fridge when you have all this room on the desk!?!

That's one of the biggest things I've noticed since going back to working night...I drink more...Not a lot...But I have a couple/few at least 3/4 times a week...You're kind of wound up after the shift...And then you get home, and douche the kitchen stank off of yourself, and you're wide awake...And you know a kid will be waking you up in a handful of hours...So you have a couple to relax, and maybe crash a little easier, and sooner...Unless you get hooked into some dumb movie you've already seen a 100 times...

Then there was Friday night...The Mrs. and I went out for dinner...I had the night off...She had a gift card for Outback Shithouse...The Beer was good...The bloomin' onion was what it is...The Tortilla soup was good, but they need to take the chicken out of the name, since there was none in the soup...Then came our steaks...Her's was good fine...My medium rare came out, barely cooked...It could have moo'ed me a song and done a fucking jig...So, even though I hated doing it, I sent it back...The manager brought a fresh one out, and waited for me to cut into it...As soon as I cut it, he picked it up and said, I'll take care of this...It was that raw, that he stepped in before I could fly off the handle...They bought the steak, and sent out another that was okay...But by that point, I was over it...

Then we went to elsewhere for a couple more drinks, and desert...After that we hit an ATM so we could pay the sitter...Then, we stopped in a lot behind the bank, where the Mrs. dropped an gobbled...That's always a sign of a good night...Dinner may not have been great, but the drinks did their part! Here we are, married 13 years, 3 kids, and she's still a gamer like that...She's the best!

Since  I'm talking about Mrs. Beeze...Almost a month ago I took her to the Christina Perri concert at the House of Blues, for her birthday...I really didn't know the chick with the exception of the few songs my wife an daughter play...I have to admit, she put on a great show, and has a cool voice...But I was even more blown away by the opening act, who was only 17 years old...Her music was more suited for a coffee house, but wow, she's got some talent...She goes by the name Birdy...

 

 

 

And while I'm talking about talented girls...Last Monday was my oldest daughters school band concert...And at one point, their teacher let her put down her clarinet, and her, and a friend took to the keyboard to perform a short piece they wrote themselves...

 

 

 

I'm very proud of them...And I find it refreshing that in 2014, my 12 year old daughter is downloading a the same music on her iphone, that I have...This past week, she just asked me if I added any new Beatles or Rolling Stones songs...We both grabbed some Birdy songs as well...In a world full of one-hit wonders, and bullshit Jay-Z crap, and stupid fucking Bieber, I have a 12 year old daughter searching for good classic rock tunes on iTunes...And yes, I suggested "Gimme Shelter" and "Paint it Black"...And of course, "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"...I may try to turn her onto Husker Du this week!

 

Maybe you're asking, where's the Sports? I don't know, I was working during every damn NHL playoff game I wanted to see...But the Rangers beat the Penguins, and then rolled Montreal Saturday...This after Montreal beat Boston, and somehow managed to still get their Canadian feeling hurt...But if you watch Montreal play, the diving, the crying, and bitching, the cheap shots...You'd understand why people don't like them...They are the Canadian version of the Penguins...Douche-nozzles!

 

Last I saw, Sterling is still a racist, and keeps saying stupid shit...Tall guys are playing basketball, and I have spent no time or energy on seeing what that's about...Baseball...I'll get to you when Hockey is done...

California Chrome won the Preakness Saturday...I was working...So now, everyone's hopes are up again...Is this the horse that will do it...Finally a Triple Crown winner....Let me answer that for ya...NO! But we're going to get a few weeks of hype...Hopefully it draws more people to watch the Belmont...But you can have California Chrome...I'll take the field...

Have a week...

The Beeze.

Becareful what you drink!!!
Category: Humor
Tags: Drink Rum Wine Ice

 

I did not know this...

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.

When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.

When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.

When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.

Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
 
 
Just a little message to my friends!!!
 


 

Barfing Up The Wrong Tree: A Recipe for Snow Tonic
Category: User Showcase
Tags: Recipe Commentary Instructions Drinking Spirits

 

Seeing the plight of my many friends in the United States, I felt it incumbent on me to reach into my recipe file and find yet another soluble solace sauce that will be of aid to man and beast. It's called,

 

 

SNOW TONIC AND

 

HAIR RESTORER

 

Here are the basic things you'll need before you begin preparation:

 

I Snowplow, well cleaned with especial attention to the bucket

3 Coleman Stoves, fully gassed and ready to go

2 Snow Shovels, Metal, not Plastic.

1 Large Outdoor Space, A parking lot or drive way will do nicely

 

First position the stoves with all their burners exposed in a line on the ground. Light them and turn to medium flame. Move the bucket of the snow plow over the three stoves and lower until heat is perceptible but paint on the outside is only bubbling, not burning.

 

To test for correct heat, empty Five Gallons of Cognac (or Armagnac or Kirschwasser or Brandy-your choice) into the bucket. Wait ten minutes, give or take, and using a candy thermometer, take the temperature of the fluid. (During this lull, samplings of fluids are encouraged.) When the bucket begins to steam and the smell of spirits hangs in the air, add a shovel full of PURE White Snow. Nothing yellow, nothing brown, nothing scraped from cars. Stir vigorously until the steaming stops.

 

Add one 55 gallon drum of non-blended Kentucky Bourbon. Toss in two gross cinnamon sticks. Stir briskly and add the juice of twenty lemons and three gallons of (non alcoholic, this is for medicine, not drunkenness) apple cider. (The kind that looks as if it has mucus in it, not the clear stuff that is sold as “juice”.) Add a shovel full of cranberries, lemon rind, cloves, another scoop of snow and mix well. Stir until you're tired.

 

Take a glass for “proofing” purposes and drink it. Allow to stand until a rich, scented steam pervades the area again. Take the temperature again. As you approach 200 degrees, turn off the stoves and quickly cover the bucket with layers of tarp and fir boughs. Let sit over night.

 

Put a sample in a small retort cup and expose to flame. If it flames, cover and continue the aging process. Eventually you will get to a point where flame added to the mixture will blow the retort cup up. Tonic is now ready.

 

To serve, restart the Coleman Stove and heat to 120 degrees.

 

Best served in heavy mugs or steins, no smoking while drinking.

 

I've known girly men to put a dollop of whipped cream on top but that action is really for the ladies auxiliary.

 

Recipe may be doubled, tripled or more. For towns with cold grounds and wanting warm hearts, a clean tanker truck may be used. Substitute Propane tanks for the Coleman stoves and shake by shifting quickly from first to reverse. Borrow a hose with a step down nozzle from the fire department to serve.

 

Appropriate for all occasions save those who have as part of their bylaws a temperance oath.

 

It won't take away the snow but it will allow you to forget it until you wake up. When falling to the ground, it's best to fall in groups. Body heat goes a long way in preventing hypothermia.

 

This recipe is NOT copyrighted and may be reproduced and shared as may seem necessary.  


 

Straight From the Little Beeze's Mouth
Category: User Showcase
Tags: The Beeze Little Beeze Kids Drinking out of Cups Counting Crows AFV

 


I realized today that my Monday Moaning post didn't include anything about the Little Beeze...When this happens, I hear about it...The little guy has gotten a bit of a following...So before I put him to bed tonight, I told him I was going to do a blog for him...I asked him what he wanted in it...Any pictures, or videos, or songs...Whatever he picked...That's why this post opened with a shark jumping out of the water...As I wrote in my vacation posts, Little Beeze is really into sharks...He got his fourth toy shark yesterday in a dollar bin...He loves having those sharks eat stuff...

My parents gave him a bunch of my old G.I.Joes and he's broken them apart, pretending the sharks are eating them...He loves to have their legs dangling from a sharks mouth...Should we be worried? Maybe I should get him a toy seal....

 



In other Little Beeze news, we've been trying to get his mouth under control...Little dude is a swearing machine, and the following video is not helping, but it's one of his favorites, and he wanted it in...



The best part is he has can recite it almost word for word, and he does the accent perfectly...The wife gets mad every time I let him watch it, because he walks around the house just repeating parts of it...

He's also excited about his little sister that's due in December...He loves babies, and he got a kick out of this one on AFV...



That little kid looks like he has some good form...

Lastly, he picked a song...I've corrupted my children's musical taste from day one...It started with headphones on my wife's belly during all the pregnancies...My kids have heard everything from John Coltrane, to The Who, to Van Halen, to Counting Crows...And that's what he picked...His favorite Counting Crows song is "Holiday in Spain", mainly for the line, "Hop on my choo choo, I'll be your engine driver in a bunny suit. You can dress me up in pink and white, we may be just a little fuzzy 'bout later tonight." And I wonder why he's a little pervert!



Now I have to remember to pound it into his head on the way to school tomorrow, 'Don't repeat the lizard video at school!'

Later, The Beeze.


 

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