This video is from a few months back, but in under 5 minutes, Bill Burr sums up the change in Boston sports and sports fans...The bullshit Politicians spew...And Lars was right...





The Beeze

I'm totally blank on a Q-o-t-D...So if you have a suggestion of a question you'd like to see, message it to me...

So today, enjoy Bill Burr's take on Lance Armstrong and Oprah, and tell us what you think...Here's the LINK

HERE'S another good one!

For those of you who are reading me for the first time, and as a refresher for those who may vaguely recall my previous body of blogging contributions to TSN and to YouGab, here are a few personal notes.  I live in a small cow town, Damascus,  Maryland.  As far as local sporting allegiances, I estimate it at about 50 – 50, Redskins & Ravens, 70 – 30  O’s & Nationals, sadly dominated by woebegone Capitals fans and home to about 10 Wizard fans…in case you did not know this, Washington does have a professional basketball team and that really is their name. I generally go Redskins, Nationals, Capitals, O's, Wiz & Ravens as my rooting hierarchy.  Above all, I am a sports fan.

I have the spent the last two non-blogging years drifting on the sea of sports websites on an almost Jason Bourne – like search seeking to reclaim my sports identity, although I did not have to kill anyone to do that (close call once in a beer line at FedEx field though).    Along the way, I discovered a renewed passion for baseball, an odd affinity to dog sled racing, 83 channels of sports programming on my Comcast box (who is this Jim Rome guy and why does he have his own TV show? and what's the deal with all the Euro-football?) and an old Brooks Robinson autographed baseball.   I lost my big toe in a strange Mayan end-of-the world sports ritual resulting in the Family giving me my coveted Sicilian handle, “Billy Nine Toes.”

Ultimately, I was shocked back to reality when Lance Armstrong appeared on Oprah followed by all-time nice guy Phil Mickelson groused about money like he was Maurice Jones-Drew.  Suddenly, almost magically, the first blog entry in quite some time popped off my keyboard and it all came back to me…yes, I used to post at YouGab…it’s all clear now.    Fortunately, I did keep a sports journal of my virtual & real travels…here are a few notes from the last couple of years…

Feb 2011.  In what could have been the defining moment of my sports amnesia experience, Lance Armstrong retires a hero.  Apparently, after being on the cover of SI in 2002 as Sportsman of the Year, SI developed its own case of amnesia.  In Lance’s case, he just forgot that he used every mode of PED’s under the sun.

Nov 2011. Inasmuchas my office is near State College, this story was too close to home.  The Legend of Joe Pa is no more…the whole Penn State story represented the seedy side of youth sports that nobody likes to think about and even less likes to write about.  A really low moment.  As a parent that devoted years to coaching youth sports,  you know that the kids and the parents trust you.  How could they let that happen?   (Note:  Joe was also a Sportsman of the Year in 1986).

Dec 2011.  In one final hurrah before the Sports Czar lowered the boom on the Crescent City, Drew Brees maxes out the passing yardage record.  The undocumented story was D Coach Gregg Williams tutoring the Saints receivers on how to twist an ankle during a pile-up.  Team generates unusually large (and suspicious) number of late fumbles to create artificial scrums.  Goodell is still looking into the matter.

Feb 2012.  The Giants won the Super Bowl….the Giants won the Super Bowl.  Unbelievable.  I’m remain nonplused.

March 2012.  The 2012 Fantasy Iditarod Season is lost due to a lockout by the owners (would that be...me?!).  The lockout ends the domination of the event by Alaska weathermen.  In related news,  the real race was won by Dallas Seavey  with a time of just over 9 days followed by female musher Aily Zirkle  only 1 hour behind.   If I had only run the contest, I might have finally won my own event.  

April 2012.  A small stroke of poetic justice occurred when some guy named Bubba actually wins the Masters.  22 old guys wearing hideous green sports coats pass out…nobody notices as they assume it is just time for their naps.  On the lighter side, I got to have a beer with a few of my buds on the 16^th green. (I'm on the right).

A small piece of advice if you ever go to a golf tournament – drinking 3 martinis in a hospitality tent after wandering around in the heat all day is not a good idea.  Several koi at the rental property suffered the consequences as a result; details another day.

Oct 2012.  During a visit to the Native American History Museum, I participated in a study that revealed 23% of the visitors werewearing some form of Washington Redskins apparel.  This number spiked when the data from a spy-cam revealed a surprising and rather disturbing trend that showed an alarming affinity for Redskins thong panties worn by women weighing in at over 250 pounds.  The study results prompt D.C. mayor to demand a name change for the team as a requirement to move back to the city.  Owner Dan Snyder responded with a well-known and probably equally native hand gesture.

Dec 2012.  I was nearly snapped back to reality in a surreal sports moment.  The Redskins actually won something other than the offseason – a division title.  In a shocking visual twist, Jerry Jones facelift gave way…unrecognizable as he left FedEx field, he was accosted by stadium security.  In response to his claims to be Jerry Jones, stadium staff told him, “you’re not pretty enough.”

So there it is, 24 months of sports hell, but in the immortal words of George Costanza, “I’m back, baby, I’m back!!”

Now down to business…

Next week I get to post just before the Super Bowl.  In addition to giving you my Fearless Forecast on the Big Game, I will publish the winner of the Chili Cook-Off.  How to accomplish this off of a blog you ask?  Send me your recipe and I will reproduce a couple of them this week and put them up against my own recipe.  The winning recipe as judged by my family (never one to be biased towards me) will be the winner.  I hope I don’t win by default.

I will also take salsa recipes to go along with the mandatory chips. 

Bring it on!

Coming in February...

We are getting very close to the pitchers and catchers reporting – I am definitely looking forward to that and I will be covering that very closely…much closer than, say, hockey season which I am finding hard to watch.  Is that because the Caps stink?, maybe so…nevertheless…give me baseball.

So there we go – thanks to all the YouGab guys for welcoming me back with open arms, Sully, Frag and the rest, thanks a bunch.  Until next week, adios muchachos!

Yes, I took a personal day...Needed a Monday Moaning breather...But here I am, back for more...Back with more to say...And since I took that breather, let me give you all just a little extra of the good stuff...
 

Now that I've taken care of the sexy, I am happy to say that Notre Dame will be playing in the BCS Championship game against Alabama...I think I made my thoughts clear HERE...There isn't a doubt in my mind that ND can beat Alabama...I'm not calling a blowout...But they can win...It should be a close game...

The Bowl game that most people seem excited about is the Fiesta Bowl...Kansas State vs. Oregon...A Championship game many wanted to see, before both teams lost...It should be a fun one...

But the Bowl causing all the controversy is the Orange Bowl, which has Northern Illinois taking on Florida State...The 12-1 Huskies did everything required of them to earn an at large bid for a BCS bowl...All the other conferences knew about this rule...ESPN knew about it...It was many of their talking heads that kept raising a stink about the likes of past Boise State, TCU, Utah, and Nevada teams not getting a fair shot at BCS bowls...

So now, a MAC school does it, and everyone is pissed...They keep screaming Oklahoma should be there...WHY?  Because they're a big name...So what...They lost to Notre Dame, and Kansas State...They win both those games, they're playing for it all...They win one of those games, and maybe they win their conference and get the automatic bid...College Football has always been clear...You have to win...Win...There's no playoff (yet) so you have to be perfect, or nearly perfect to go anywhere...Otherwise, go fuck yourself...So stop with this Oklahoma, Georgia, LSU, should be there instead of NIU...

NIU is 12-1...You're not...NIU won their conference...You didn't...NIU finished in the top 15...They hit the requirements...NIU's QB is better then yours...NIU is giving their students 1 free ticket each to the Orange Bowl...Your school isn't/wouldn't....I'll take the Huskies over you crying cunts!

-Sunday, my NFL viewing options were the Lions and Colts and Packers vs the Vikings...I could care less about these teams...The Lions have been a bust...The Colts are rebuilding...I don't care about Andrew Luck and his come backs...The Packers have been overrated, or underachieving, or both...And the Vikings are trying to get their shit together...I just don't care...The NFL just really bores me...So the kids and I went ice skating...We've been going twice a week for a few weeks now...Maybe I'll start getting my ass back in shape...

When we got home, the Browns game versus the Raiders was on...Guess what?  I didn't fucking watch it...Two of the worst teams in the NFL going head to head in the battle of who could care less...No thanks...I made meatloaf, mash potatoes and corn instead... (the Browns won)

-The big story this week in the NFL was Chiefs LB Javon Belcher shooting and killing his girlfriend and mother of their 3 month old daughter...Then he went to the Chiefs facilities, and killed himself in front of his coach and GM...It's an awful story, and while many have touched on it, no one has said something that needs to be said...I don't care if you were his friend of a family member of his, and you're reading this...FUCK JAVON BELCHER!  Anything good he ever did in his life was voided Saturday...He got off easy taking his chicken shit way out...Fuck this fucking fuck...His daughter has no parents...And one day she'll learn about what happened, and what will that do for her?  Break her heart...Fill her with anger...God knows what else...Javon Belcher is/was a piece of shit....That's all his head stone should say...

- And since I'm already angry...I'm sure everyone has heard about the homeless guy who had no shoes...So a NYC cop bought him a pair of water resistant boots and some socks...The picture of it all has become huge...
 

Well once again, this guy has no shoes...When he was seen without the boots, barefoot again, he was asked about it...His story..."They're hiding." He feels that they are expensive, and could get stolen...

Well kids, I'm calling bullshit!  You're fucking homeless...Where the fuck are they hiding?  I hate to be cynical, but am...I don't believe this shit one bit...This fucker sold those boots for some drugs or booze...This cop did a great thing...I have to wonder how he feels about this...Probably gonna think twice before he thinks about reaching into his pocket for some one again...

-A year ago this past weekend, the comedy world lost a great...If you have a hour to kill, come back and click on this video, and listen to great interview with Patrice O'Neal...It's not just about comedy, it's a real, honest, and funny conversation that gave great insight into a hell of a comic...

 


That's it for now...Have a week...

The Beeze.

 Yep, Cleveland's favorite funny-man/angry Browns fan, has made another excellent video...Mike has pulled out his big, funny, sick of this bullshit, hard cock, and slammed it right up in the Browns' stupid ass...




Great job!

Mike Polk Jr. once again, saying what needs to be said!


Later, The Beeze.