Shorty’s first owner, Dinsdale Piranha, was an abusive man...cruel but fair

put a lot of pressure on ole shorty as you can see

Old Dinsey is demanding custody. 

I called Atty Jackie Chiles. I’m not worried,

I’m not just some innocent bystander!

After the first week or so of MLB, the surprise teams are The Boston Red Sox , Kansas City Royals and Oakland Athletics in the AL and the Atlanta Braves, Arizona Diamondbacks

And Colorado Rockies in the senior circuit.

It’s amazing how a few wins by Thee Olde Towne Team can change your perspective of the new season. Weather it lasts or it doesn’t, doesn’t matter. You ride the wave and hope for the best. I went into the season with a ho hum outlook on this season, often joking on who would finish last, the Yankees or the Red Sox. After one week I’m saying, this team has some good young players and the potential for the veterans, Ellsbury and Pedroia to carry the load of a long season is there.

Can the starting pitchers, especially Lester and Buchholz ( Sully wouldn’t mind) keep going like they started the season? Both of these guys have shown flashes in their careers as top of the rotation hurlers, both pitched no hitters a couple years back.

Can Dempster win 10-12 games, can Felix Dubront repeat his 12 win season of last year as the number four and can John Lackey be an adequate fifth starter. Lackey hurt his right bicep in the fifth inning against Toronto the other day and will spend time on the DL.

Sox Manager, John Farrell believes that Psycho Alfredo Aseves will fill Lackeys spot in the rotation 

Will David Ortiz ever finish his rehab…on April 1^st he was said to have run wind sprints in the outfield…wind sprints…on April 1^st…

Yikes, hope springs eternal…    but wait...

Joel Hanrahan pulled his best Mitchell Boggs impersonation last night giving up 5 runs to the Baltimore O's in the 9th to tighten up the AL East.

My fantasy team oldmansgame took it on the chin in the first week to Miggy’s

Shorty told me not to draft aging pitchers that relied on velocity to win,

I should have listened.

I do have one or two bright spots, Justin Upton, Lance Berkman

so I lift a glass of Fred Light (now on tap at Moz) to these guys.

gold fish and a Fred Lite

These would make a good bar snack at the Tavern

NEW FEATURE

FUTURE SHOCK 1.1 This section is where shorty takes a look into the crystal ball he took from Bill Parcells. As you remember Tuna used to say,” I don’t have a crystal ball”

That’s because shorty has it.

-NFL news May 2015

    Rumor has it that Sir Roger has appointed an NFL “expansion czar” whose assignment was to identified 3 places out side of the contiguous forty eight to target for expansion…the list of three hasn’t been released yet but there is a rumor floating about places like the Tavern that names the following sites: Hamilton Bermuda, Alajuela Costa Rica and Toronto Canada and one inside the lower forty eight and that would be Los Angeles….shorty says his sources are reliable.

The 2 year is to plan is to add eight teams in total, one to each division. Four in 2015 and four more in 2017. The AFC and NFC East and the AFC and NFC West will get the first four.

The NFL expansion czar hasn’t been identified yet but again, shorty has his sources…reliable sources.

The most frequently named possibility is….

A guy by the name of Billy Shakespeare. Billy hails from jolly Olde London Towne and has been seen having tea recently with Patriots owner Robert Kraft and Cowboys owner Jerry Jones..

Shakespeare is not a stranger to the game and actually has NFL experience. Billy was a Cleveland Browns 4^th  rounder in the 1993 draft out of…you guessed it, William and Mary, a Classics and Literature major, he was a four year starter at W&M, he played defensive back at 5’11” -195.

He was ceremonially cut by the head coach William S. Belichick during training camp allegedly for attempting to re write the play book into proper English.

The coach was heard ranting around the locker room, Just do your job Billy just do your

#%&*#@*& job. 

After that unfortunate turn of events, he worked out with both the Philadelphia Eagles and the St Louis Cardinals before traveling to Barcelona where he was a special teams standout for two seasons. A wrist injury, diagnosed as carpel tunnel syndrome or chronic writers cramp ended an otherwise promising career.

He’s been involved in the attempt to get a team to London but it’s said he would settle for Bermuda for an expansion

The nick name of the Bermuda team would be the

And would be added to the AFC East

Stay tuned for the next segment of Future Shock and learn the latest from ole shorty himself

And now its time for:

Grilling corner:

Venison Burgers Sweet red bell peppers

Summer squash and Roasted potatoes

Serve with a fine Chianti.

What? you want actual sports?  

NCAA. Basketball, congratulations to new Basketball Hall of Fame selectee Ricky Petino and the hard working Louisville kids.

NCAA Hockey,The Frozen four square off tonite 4/11

U Mass-Lowell vs Yale and

Quinnipiac vs St. Cloud State

The championship game is 4/13

 I bought a “Mo Hate Me” game jersey for shorty,

he handed me $20 for a $2.50 shirt and said…Harry keep the change.

Thanks for the visit, now back to the present and some real sports talk >>

I'm not a fan of Sports Illustrated, but I don't mind their cover girl!

Let me start this week by saying, I try not t o hold back when I write...My personal feelings and life are always front and center in my blogs...But I'll be honest...I've been holding some things back for awhile...Since around Thanksgiving my wife has been dealing with a bacterial infection called C._diff...It was brought on by of all things, an antibiotic...She had been on this medicine for about 20 days to get rid of an infection in a tooth that needed work...When she got a serious rash, and then the horrible stomach issues, she remembered reading the info from the pharmacy, and how it could cause such things, including death...Wow, just the drug I want to take...

There were too many tests, and too much waiting....And too much reading about C.diff...Like THIS...The idea of a fecal transplant grossed out my wife, but being the good guy that I am, I offered to shit down her throat!

Finally late in January, it was confirmed and she was prescribed medicine that often fixes the problem...If not totally, it can manage it...She just finished the meds, and things seem to be okay...Within two days of being on the medicine, the shit-fest had stopped...So that is looking better now...Just in time for family troubles...As if the stress of work, and kids, and dealing with that wasn't enough, her father who has been dealing with dementia, and Alzheimer's, has gotten really bad...Last time we were there, he was asking where Molly came from...Has no recollection of her...My wife's mother is slowly losing some things upstairs too...The stress of dealing with my father in law has been wearing on her too...And then her brother had a car wreck, which lead to us finding out that he had a bit of a legal issue...

We spent too much time this week figuring out what was going on, and cleaning up his mess...She spent Saturday in PA. dealing with things, while I stayed home with the kids...Next she has to get with her sisters and figure out the next move for what to do about their folks...It's been a real pain in the ass...

Plus my cracked up ribs are still killing me...And I clearly wrenched something in my back during my spill, because I've been having muscle spasms that hurt like a bitch...So things have sucked lately...I'm only writing about it now, because I needed to get it off my chest, and I feel like I've been distant and distracted when it comes to writing...I can't bitch to my wife...This is all 10 times harder on her...

Okay...So, there was a positive in the sports world...Notre Dame swept Michigan in hockey this weekend...Sweeping Michigan in anything, is always good!
 

In other sports news...The media was all buzzing about "The Paterno Report" that was released Sunday morning...I called bullshit right away...This report was paid for by the Paterno family...Done by people who were supporters of Paterno...2 were donors to PSU...This for the Paterno lovers, by the Paterno lovers...There is no way you can expect honesty in it...Nor should it have gotten any air time at all...Mrs. Paterno, maybe Joe never told you shit, but he knew Sandusky was a piece of shit, and he kept a lid on it, and let the child molesting and raping continue...Please lady, shut the fuck up...Your husband was an asshole....And all those still holding onto their blind loyalty to him are looking like assholes too...

There's a link to the stupid Paterno family site on the Q-o-t-D....

I watched the Grammy's Sunday night...There were some good performances, but I found it sad that most of the awards were given earlier...So many people not getting their time, while CBS couldn't stop showing us Taylor Swift singing and dancing to everyone who performed...And I'd love it if they actually put some performers on stage that we haven't seen countless times before...Sure the hipster, folksy guys get their time this year, but that will be that for awhile...But enough with Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Rihanna, Jay-Z, Elton John...That old Queen at the piano reading the lyrics...Christ!

And acting like Justin Timberlake is the greatest musician ever, and we all have missed him so desperately while he's been acting...Yuck!

Jack White, please stop trying so hard to be the Johnny Depp of rock & roll...You're so fucking unique and cooler then everyone else...You're not! and Johnny Depp owned the Viper Room, hard to get cooler then that...And I can play average, loud distorted guitar, and chuck it at the end too...Not impressed!

This week, I leave you with this...
 

Have a week...

The Beeze.

Do you think there is any honesty at all in the Paterno_Report?

Did Joe Flacco deserve to be the "Super Bowl" MVP?

Yes, fucking Bob Costas...You can always count on this smug little douche to get all high and mighty...And he has pissed off plenty of people after his commentary Sunday night...Costas felt the need to make Javon Belcher murdering Kassandra Perkins, and then killing himself, into a political statement about control laws...

In his little smarmy voice, he quoted sportswriter Jason Whitlock, "If Jovan Belcher didn't possess a gun, he and Kassandra Perkins would both be alive today."

Okay, so Whitlock is gas-bag #2...Are these two dopes shitting me? Listen, I'm not Johnny Fucking Gun Collector...I'd have no problem if we tightened up the gun laws...But do these ass-clowns really believe that Kassandra Perkins would really still be alive is this fuck-stain Belcher didn't have a gun!?! He shot her 9 times...9 fucking times...If you shoot some one 9 times, you're pissed...You're trying to make a point...Like I want you fucking dead...

So if Asshole Belcher didn't have a gun, he still would have fucked her up....He would have choked her out...Or beaten her to death, or both...The dude was huge compared to her...Believe me, he could take her out, without using a gun...Dude was in a rage for some reason...You don't shoot some one 9 times when you're just joking around...You don't shoot some one 9 times, and storm out the door saying 'dinner better be ready when I get back!' No! You shoot some one 9 times to kill them...Gun or no gun, she didn't stand a chance...

As for him...If his reaction to shooting and killing her was to off himself...It's most likely he would have felt the same way, had he choked her out, or bashed her head through the granite counter tops...Whitlock and Costas' point here is just fucking stupid...I use to like Whitlock, but over the last few years, he's become a real fucking dolt...Costas...He's always been an asshole...He can't help it...He's just an obnoxious, arrogant twat...It's gotta be tough for a fucker that short, to always be climbing up on that high horse...(yes he really is short as hell...I saw him in a Cleveland restaurant in '97...and he was a dick)

All networks let their star gas-bags get on the air and spew bullshit from time to time...But NBC, this was a major mistake...Costas looked like a fool...And no one likes it when a 3 month old with two dead parents gets politicized...

There was another gas-bag this week that pissed me off...Cleveland Browns left tackle, Joe Thomas...After a year has past, he has finally decided it was okay to come out a bash former Browns running back, Peyton Hillis...This has become a big trend in sports...Everyone protects the team asshole...Coaches, GM's. players...Everyone...Then, after he's gone, the blast him in the media...It's nothing new, but I'm sick of it...

If Thomas would have said the shit last year, that he said this week about Hillis, I would have respected him...Thomas called Hillis "toxic" to the team...He blasted Hillis for how he handled his contract dispute with the team...Thomas basically said Hillis faked injuries....Easy for the guy who got a $84 million extension...

The thing is, most Browns fans were pushing for Hillis to get a new deal...The fans were behind him, and vocal about it, for the first half of the season...But the fans noticed a lot of the things Thomas brought up...But maybe if Thomas would have spoken up publicly last year, the fans would have backed off their support of Hillis sooner...Maybe a teammate, and team leader blasting Hillis publicly, would have made him re-think how he was acting...

But no....Thomas waits until the nest year...The week that the Browns are going to play Hillis and his new team, the Chiefs...One, way to try and motivate the guy now that he's playing for some one else...Two, shut up you pussy! If you had any real balls, you would have bashed him last year...I hate the contract disputes in sports...But you know what pisses me off more? In this fucking era of "I gotta get mine"...These fuckers only care about getting theirs, and fuck my teammates if they're trying to get theirs...And then I'll shit on them in the press when they're long gone...

Fuck Joe Thomas! I hope former Browns coach Romeo Crennel runs Hillis all day, and he gets 200 yards...While former Browns QB, Brady Quinn finally has that career day, that he couldn't get here, because the O-line sucked balls, and he had no receivers...

Fucking Gas-bags!


Later, The Beeze.