After an eight year hiatus, it’s a pleasure to be back and have a regular weekly writing gig! For my first post as a Saturday Feature on You Gab Sports—and given the season—I thought I’d revive one of my old holiday blogging traditions, and create my fantasy Christmas list: the (tongue in cheek) things I’d most like to see this holiday season. So let’s assume I’ve been good this year (no small leap, that) and cut right to the chase: here’s my 2014 list for the man in red.
CHIIIIIEEEEEFFFFSSSSS!!! I’m a lifelong Chiefs fan, and nobody has enjoyed the Chiefs renaissance more than me. But with improvement comes higher expectation and frustration. I know it’s only season two of the Andy Reid era, but I LONG for some professional consistency. How can you pound the Patriots by 27 (it wasn’t that close), and lose by 16 to Tennessee (it wasn’t that close)? How can you lose to Oakland at all? How can you run the ball all day long on whomever you want, and when you get inside the five you call the most listless and uncreative series of rollouts and non-descript pass plays? And darn it, I LIKE Andy Reid, but I wish he were more decisive in the red zone, and I wish he didn’t look like a four year old about to wet his pants when it gets to the last two minutes of every game. I know, I know…it’s just nice to be relevant again. But relevance is relative.
Indiana basketball. Again, I’m a lifer. I know they’re just kids, etc., etc. But the incident earlier this year: when sophomore Devin Davis and freshman Emmett Holt were out after midnight and drinking, and the latter hit the former with his car…putting Davis in the hospital with a head injury...c'mon man. This behavior is out of bounds in my book virtually any time for college athletes. But this was the night before the first intra-squad scrimmage. The first time you—as a freshman—are going to wear the jersey of one of the most storied basketball programs in college history in front of your home court fans…and you’re out getting drunk? Underage? Driving? That’s stupid in any scenario…but do you understand what a privilege it is to have your talent, and to get this honor? Unfortunately this has not been an isolated incident; I’m certain it’s not reality, but it feels like this group of Indiana players has had more “character issues” in the past nine months than in the collective history of IU basketball. I wish this team had more respect for its school, its fans, and the opportunity they have. I’m hopeful this has been a learning experience and that they get it now. I also wish IU basketball were more relevant, but as you know relevance is relative.
College football playoffs. Why is it that football at every level—from pee wee to high school to every level of college except FBS—can figure out how to have playoffs and a meaningful championship, but they can’t get it done for FBS? Mind you, the NCAA (an entity that could be a whole wish-list rant unto itself) does this at every other level of football it plays, save FBS. Today (Saturday, Dec 20th) at 4 pm Minnesota State Mankato takes on Colorado State Pueblo for the Division II championship; they’ve played four games each after the regular season to get there. So you can’t figure it out for the FBS? A couple more games? Don’t use more practice as an excuse—the bowl teams are practicing anyway. And don’t tell me school work; first off, most of them are off school for the holidays at that point…and as I’ve heard somewhere before the bowl teams are practicing anyway. Figure it out you idiots. Gimme a real FBS playoff already.
College football playoffs, part two. Please tell me this talk of a super conference is lunacy. Please tell me you’re not going to take the 64 best teams in college football and create NFL, Jr. Don’t you get that the upset—Appalachian State beating Michigan, Boise State beating Oklahoma, Florida Atlantic beating anybody—is what makes sport interesting? What keeps it alive and fun for both fan and player? If you think this approach works, ask the state of Indiana how their high school basketball tournament is doing since they retooled to “class basketball” after the 1996-1997 season. How’s it going now that the Milan High School’s of the world are beating Versailles and Osgood and Montezuma, and don’t get the chance to take out Muncie Central for the most storied state championship in sport history? (Author’s note: these small schools don’t exist anymore and Muncie Central is irrelevant—and much smaller itself—but I’m making a point…) Never mind, I'll tell you: this former iconic American sporting event is now dead, irrelevant; (do I need to talk about relevance again?) and "Basketball State Champ!" signs are more common across the state of Indiana than corn stalks. Do me a favor college football powers, and check out David and Goliath in the Bible. The ultimate upset. Today you’d have David squaring off against the Philistine’s best rockslinger in the under 125 pound class; and Goliath would be battling the number three ranked Sumerians, or maybe Alabama. Drop this super conference ridiculousness and let’s exchange this “gift” for socks, or maybe a tie.
Accountability. At every level. Kids in school, parents at home. Parents at little league. Little league coaches. Cops on the street. People on the street interacting with cops. Idiots who think looting or setting fires or blocking traffic is a sensible form of protest. Race baiters who think it’s ok to use the same flaw you’re criticizing to create issues where oftentimes they aren’t. Congress in general. Come to think of it I’d pretty readily give up numbers 1 through 4 of the list above for a healthy dose of accountability across the board. Unfortunately it’s right up there withWorld Peace on the likelihood scale…
Toys. C’mon this list can’t be all serious-like. We all know how it is to open that beautifully wrapped package to find underwear or a sweater, for cryin’ out loud. How ‘bout a GI Joe? The USMC version, with the scar under his right eye and the silver suit and the Mercury Space Capsule—still my single favorite Christmas present ever, back in 1968. Or Hot Wheels? Or Barbie? (that’s a nod to my female demographic out there…not for me personally) Maybe even a sled if you have snow, or a bike or wagon if you don’t. Christmas. Toys. Make it happen Santa.
So there you have it, The Hoov’s Christmas Wish List 2014. I’d add one more thing: that each of you have a joyous holiday with the ones you love, or in whatever way that makes you happy; and an appreciation for whatever you can be thankful for, big or small. Put a smile on your face and enjoy the season! For my part, I’m thankful to Jeff Thomas for thinking of me for this Saturday feature spot on You Gab…it’s great to be back! Happy Holidays!
Hello and welcome another Wednesday of deep thoughts. Is it possible that there are only 2 weeks left of 2014? I have to admit that I felt pretty good about the Cowboy’s chances against the Eagles last Sunday. The Thanksgiving Day massacre by the Eagles was more about Dallas being a tired team than Philly being a better team. Or could it be something else? The Palace in Dallas or Jerry’s World as the stadium is commonly called, has not provided much home field advantage this season. All four of the Cowboys losses have come at home this year…is this simply a coincidence or is there something more? I read a quote from a Cowboy player recently talking about how their home stadium does not really feel like a football stadium. Jerry’s World is a destination, not a place to watch a football game. Simply put…there is no home cooking in Dallas.
In the old days of Texas Stadium, many of the fans proudly wore their Cowboy blue on their collars. At Jerry’s Cowboy Stadium…to purchase a ticket, fans must pay a PSL fee (personal seat license) to be eligible to purchase a season ticket. For even marginal seats, this fee can be more than $10,000. For 50 yard line seats, the fee will exceed $100,000. The sky boxes provide another option, but those boxes run from $100,000 to $500,000. Obviously the average fan is simply priced out of buying a Cowboy season ticket. This is good for Jerry Jones, but bad for the Dallas Cowboys. There is no roar of the crowd at Cowboy games, unless it if from the visiting fans.
Next weekend, the Cowboys host Andrew Luck and his Indianapolis Colts. While Dallas remains in control of their own destiny, perhaps it is too bad that the Cowboys are not headed to Indianapolis to play this game. What is truly unfair is that some team from the NFL South will be headed to the playoffs with a record that is less than .500. I continue to think that Dallas is built to succeed in the playoffs...at least offensively. It is the defense that makes wonder.
Johnny Football did not have the succes last Sunday that he knew regularly on Saturdays.
So much for Johnny being good in his first NFL game. Although I realize that this game was poetic justice with the cocky rookie player receiving his dose of humble pie. But, I am still left thinking that Johnny has a chance to be a decent NFL QB. The Browns have played pretty well this year and it appears that they are a QB away from being a team that nobody wants to face. Will this be someone besides Johnny Manziel? After one game, I think the answer is an emphatic, yes.
It is no secret how I feel about Joe Maddon. What a cool guy and a terrific manager. The Cubs are a team quickly on the rise. There is some serious talent in Chicago and I think that the Cubs and Astros become more relevant in 2015.
That’s all I have today, but I will leave you with a bit of Jack Handey…
Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun? It's cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting all the time people are going to get out of the way. Cars, too!
Whenever I need to ``get away,'' I just get away in my mind. I go to my imaginary spot, where the beach is perfect and the water is perfect and the weather is perfect. The only bad thing there are the flies. They're terrible!
Thanks for stopping by and feel free to leave a few deep thoughts of your own…
Oooo hey there. Welcome Gabbers and others to my NASCAR updates and other fast stuff. I think george has a point there. Don't you? Another annoying human habit is touching the glass on a door you're opening. Do you really have to? That's what handles are for.
Been a busy week for Santa's helpers. We've been packing NFL hoodies, sweat shirts, jackets and scarves for all the good NFL fans out there. It's been a tough pack for about 4 weeks now. The jackets and hoodies don't fold real nice. They create issues but volume is our friend. Santa will have no Debbie Downers. So maybe if you were on Santa's nice list, you have NFL gear coming your way.
So lets see what's happening in the land of Left Turns.
MORE SURGERY FOR TONY STEWART
He just had the rod replaced in his leg right after the last race of the season and now it is said there will be #5. Doctors aren't happy about how slowly it's healing. The goal is to not have that rod in there in the future. Stewart says it still hurts but is optomistic that when the rod is out that the pain will go to.
I hope so. February is around the corner. Stewart plans on being at the Chili Bowl next month to help with track preparation for the dirt track midget race (wingless sprint cars). So far I don't see any NASCAR driver entries on the list.
DALE JR"S BEST SELLING DIE-CAST
Not only is Dale Jr's Daytona 500 paint scheme the #1 best selling die-cast of the year it'sthe #1 best selling die-cast car in Lionel Racing history. While Dale Jr took like 6 spots on that top 10 list Tony Stewart, Kevin Harvick, Jeff Gordon and Austin Dillon got spots to.
WATKIN'S GLEN GETS GRANT FROM NEW YORK
The track will have it's repave and updates courtesy of a $2.25 million grant as well as $12 million in private funding. The repave is scheduled after the Cheez-it 355 race weekend.
LOGANO GETS MARRIED
Fiance Brittany Baca picked the date 12-13-14 so it would be easy for Joey to remember. He is a busy guy. Honey moon is in Costa Rica for 5 days.
Congrats to the new couple.
NASCAR TO LET TEAMS DECIDE JUST HOW MANY LUGNUTS TO TIGHTEN
Is this bizaare or what? They have decided to let them tighten all 5 or just 2 or 3 or however many they want. No morte monitoring during the stop. Sort of opens things up for disaster if you ask me. There's a lot of gamesmanship in NASCAR. This is why I call it a high speed rolling chess match. Always decisions to be made at every pit stop.
Now NASCAR is not letting them completely off the hook here. If they lose a wheel during the race they will be penalized. That I find a bit stupid. If your wheel comes off the car while you're driving, I'm sure you're about to get penalized right into the wall or into another car. They didn't state just where this penalty falls on their scale yet.
Now I can see how this 2 or 3 or 4 lugnuts could play into the hands of a crew and driver willing to take the chance. If you come in for 2 or 4 tires during a late race caution with like 5 to 10 laps to go, you might want to roll the dice to get that extremely valuable track position. AND THEN you hope they stay on for the restart and possibly the win.
Something to look forward too in the 2015 season.
NEWS OF THE DANICA
Besides the who's going to be her crew chief thing, there really isn't any news. Just thought you all needed to hear that name.
WANT A NEW RACING CAREER?
The Roush Yates Racing School of Technology will be open for classes in February of 2015, Their 36 week program will make you an entry level machinist. You'll be machining engine blocks and cyliders before you know it. No word on tuition costs. I didn't look it up.
KEVIN HARVICK NAMED DRIVER OF THE YEAR
17 journalist and broadcasters got together and voted. The catagory was for all drivers of every racing series. Harvick beat out Tony Schumacher (2015 Top Fuel Dragster Champion) and Erica Enders Stevens (2015 Pro Stock Champion) by taking over half the votes. He gets a trophy and Tissot wrist watch.
DUMBASS THAT CLIMBED FENCE CONVICTED
The race fan that climbed the fence at the Richmond race in September was convicted of public drunkenness and disorderly conduct. He got 12 months in jail which 11 months were suspended and a $100 fine. His lawyer says he has post truamatic stress disorder from his military service and has other conditions as well.
Harry Potter says...HORSE HOCKEY. So do I. What a dumbass.
THUNDERBIRDS TO DO D-500 FLYOVER
The U S Air Force Thunderbirds are due back at the Daytona 500 for the 5th straight year to provide the thunder over the opening ceremonies at the Daytona 500 in February.
I think that picture says it all. F you to the bleeding hearts. They should all be sitting on stools facing the walls every day they are in those camps alive. Don't move for ANYTHING.
Hey now. Welcme Gabbers & others to my NASCAR updates and other fast stuff. Just thought I'd do a public service announcement to all you Gabbers & others out there cleaning the gutters. These critters may be cute and fuzzy to look at but watch out for those teeth. Never seen one before but I hear they're quick. Hide the kids and watch your ankles.
I think I can make it to Monday or Tuesday and I may just have to give in on my "Don't turn the furnace on till Thanksgiving because that oil tank is prescious" Mission. The weatherman says that on Tuesday it will be brutally cold in the 40's and fall to 28 degrees over night. It will be 40's in the day and 28 at night all week. That's pipe freezing weather. Just can't take that chance. The cats will be happy though. They love the heat vents.
KURT BUSCH UPDATE
A letter addressed to NASCAR president Mike Helton and one to SHR was sent by Rep Jackie Speier stating that Kurt should be suspended till the investigation into his alleged domestic violence case against ex girlfriend Patricia Driscoll was completed. She further stated she wanted to be in the internal investigation of this matter and wanted the history of all sanctions levied by NASCAR & race teams in the last 5 years for domestic violence.
Be-otch has balls if you ask me.
However Kurt's lawyer Rusty Hardin had other ideas. He said," If every time somebody made an allegation against a congresswoman or congressman and they were then to be suspended from their office until the investigation was concluded, we'd have an empty capitol building."
He went on to say that her letter was inappropriate and that there is such things as due process and presumption of innocense.
NASCAR says they're waiting for the police report. Haas says he's not taking Kurt out of the car. I say that if the fight was that bad then why wait 6 weeks to file charges? If you waited that long then let it go. Grab your shit and leave.
MOST POPULAR DRIVER VOTING COMING TO AN END
If you're planning to vote for your favorite driver you've got until Monday the 17th @ 8pm to get to www.MostPopularDriver.com. We'll see if Dale Jr gets it again or The Danica rallies her fans to over take him or if the Reddit community rallies to put Josh Wise in the top spot. Oh the suspense Gabbers.
PHOENIX RACE RECAP
Harvick won. Harvick led almost all the laps. Harvick advanced to the final round.
Hamlin had the pole but by lap 45 Harvick took over the lead and never gave it up.
Gordon, Kenseth & Keselowski all did what they had to to advance except win. All were in the top 5 at the end of the race but no cookie or soup for them. On the very last lap coming to the finish line Newman did a bump & run on Larson for the final position he needed to get into the final Chase spot which knocked out Gordon by 1 point.
Larson was asked about that pass which sent him into the wall. He said that Newman called him and explained that he really needed that spot and that he didn't dump him, he just did enough to get by and let Larson finish the race. Larson knew it was important and that he probably would've done the same thing if in the same position. It was a little upsetting and he was mad for about 10 minutes till he thought about it. No hard feelings going forward.
So our 4 Chasers that will be fighting it out at Homestead are Logano, Harvick, Newman & Hamlin.
Top 15 finishers at Phoenix - Harvick - Gordon - Kenseth - Keselowski - Hamlin - Logano - Ku Bu - Dale Jr - Biffle - Ambrose - Newman - Truex Jr - Larson - McMurray - Edwards
HOMESTEAD RACE TO CROWN THE CHASE CHAMPION PREVIEW
Ford unvailed a new trophy. This trophy has an exact replica of the steering wheel in Henry Ford's race car the 1901 Sweepstakes Racer. He won his first and only race in that car on October 10, 1901. That race win helped to get invetors interested so he could start his car company in 1903.
So last years Homestead winner was Hamlin. Last years champ was Johnson with 6 W's. This year Johnson is no where near the Chase or championship form. What a difference a year and Chase format change makes.
Last years Homestead top 10 - Hamlin - Kenseth - Dale Jr - Truex Jr - Bowyer - Keselowski - Ky Bu - Logano - Johnson - Harvick - Gordon - Edwards - Kahne - Sadler - Larson
Chasers : Harvick - Starts 5th. Average finish of 8.1. Has 11 Top 10's. He's been fast this year but plagued with bad luck. Motor issues, tire issues and other stupid stuff. He's the favorite to win. He's my pick too. I say top 10 AND the Championship.
Logano - Starts 9th. Average finish of 20.8 although he finished 8th last year. I'll give him a top 10
Hamlin - Starts 8th. Average finish of 11.2 although he finished 1st last year. He's also been plagued by issues all year and barely made it into the Chase. I just don't see a championship this year either but I'll say top 15
Newman - If there was ever an underdog, it's this guy. He's a tough one too. My hope is that he does win it. I'm hoping all the contenders have issues that keep them on pit road and laps down. Newman comes in 5th, with no win and a championship. It's a fantasy but it could happen. He starts 21st today. He hit debris from somebodies car during practice that broke his splitter. All is fixed and he's no worried. Top 10
Gordon - He's got the pole. That's 200 poles for the HMS organization. He's got 11 top 10's here too. Top 10
Ky Bu - Starts 7th. He's been plagued with the uglies too this year but I'll say top 10
Kenseth - Won the Nationwide race this weekend. That's seat time that could equate to a top 10.
Larson - Got to give a top 10 to the rookie with the mostest.
Truex Jr - Starts 10th. Top 10
Keselowski - Starts 4th. Top 10
Menard - My dark horse pick for a top 10
Race is on at 3pm today. Football all day too. Have a safe weekend folks.
I posted this picture to start this blog, about 45 minutes ago...I've been surfing around the net looking for something to inspire me...But nothing got me going...So, I'm just going to tap these keys and see what happens...
I can't write about sports...I haven't watched any this week...Oh wait...I saw about 5 minutes of the BU vs. BC Hockey game Friday night...But that was it...
Friday evening Molly spent at my parents...A little sleep over with grandma and grandpa...So, the oldest got to take a test drive at watching little Beeze...She's always been a Mother Hen, so we weren't worried...So what did we do?
We went and looked at a house we can't afford...The wife wants a bigger house...I wouldn't mind either but there is the whole issue of trying to sell our house as well...We would also like to be a better school district...Our oldest is having nothing to do with us moving...Luckily, she doesn't need to worry...It's not happening right now...Just not there financially...Plus, this house was overpriced...When the relator describes the kitchen by saying, "It's kind of queer!" Well, that's not gonna help sell it...We walked in the front door, and almost smashed into the kitchen island...They redid the kitchen, expanding it, and screwing up the flow...Plus, they slacked off on a lot of finishing work...The living room was huge...The master bedroom was huge...It had 4 bedrooms total...All good size...2 baths...Both on the second floor...No yard...and needed a new hot water tank, furnace, washer, and dryer, and some plumbing work...
Good luck getting that asking price dipshits!
Then we went out to dinner...A place called Ferris Steakhouse...The food was good...She had a Filet, and I had Prime Rib...We started with Bruschetta...I had a Caprese salad...I forget what salad she had...She finished with Crème Brulee, and I had a Triple Chocolate cake...The Moscow Mules were good...And well, the key for all my restaurant reviews, that gets them a positive grade...I got road head on the way home! Good Job Ferris Steakhouse!
And Saturday morning we had some classic morning sex...It's so nice not having a 3 year old (almost 4) waking you up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday! Thanks grandma and grandpa!
The rest of Saturday was work...I finally saw Molly at 5:44 AM Sunday, when she puked in our bed...Why, we have no idea...But then she felt great, and was quite the chatty little shit for the next hour, filling me in on her adventures...Then come 11:00AM it was back to work for a long Sunday pounding...
And now, "here I sit broken hearted, I came to shit and only farted!"
I've got some music going on my iPhone...It's on shuffle..."Captain Jack" by Billy Joel is on right now...
It made me think about a girl I dated oh so many years ago...She put this song on a mix tape...Yeah, I'm that old, fucking mix tapes! She had this thing where she'd tell me to imagine I was on an island when I was having issues...Either stressed, or angry, or whatever...But you know what "Captain Jack" is? what the song is about...Shooting heroin...Holy shit, I think that bitch wanted me to kill myself!
No, she wasn't...She wasn't hip enough to understand drug lingo!
How's this blog working out for ya...Just a wacky guy babbling while listening to music...What's song will be next?
It's a pretty cool tune...Especially since in it's original form it was done in a techno, club style...I'll stick to this jazzy, mellow version...
I'm sorry for this rambling through writer's block post...It feels like I'm writing in a High School journal...Hopefully I'll get my shit together...