Tagged with "Mike Holmgren"
Monday Moaning 3-19-12
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NFL Cleveland Browns NCAA St. Patricks Day Randy Lerner Mike Holmgren Tom Heckert Kids The Beeze Damien Rice Pat Shurmur Rootless Tree

 
Well I hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day...Could it have been as good as this slut's? I doubt it!

Mine wasn't very thrilling...I had to work at the Fish House...Not known as a St. Patrick's Day hot spot, but we had a solid night with good push for a couple hours...I also forced a little Irish on to the special sheet...First we had my Grandma's Salmon cakes with some arugula and mustard aioli for an appetizer...Then we had Pan Seared John Dory with Colcannon and a Tomato Vinaigrette...We sold that bad boy out! How can you go wrong mixing cabbage with mashed potatoes!?!

In sports the big talk is all about how almost every one's brackets are busted already...Duke, Missouri going down early was great...Ohio University beating Michigan was great too...But honestly, I don't care about basketball...I did a bracket just for shits and grins...Hoping people's would fall apart and I would look like a genius...I never thought it would work...But I had Ohio U. going to the sweet 16...I got Marquette going to the final four...Oh yeah, not knowing shit about basketball is paying off!

Then there was the NFL "Free Agent Frenzy"...As expected, the Browns did jack-shit...They let Hillis walk...Then they let safety Mike Adams walk...That guy has been a consistent, hard-nosed player...Shit, the secondary just got weaker...Then the cut Eric Steinbeck...After pumping sunshine up our ass about how good the OL would be when he got back from his injury...But wait...They signed Froste Rucker! A DE with 4 sacks and 2 domestic battery charges...Well at least they are still all about bringing in quality, character guys!

They blew the trade up to get RG3...And clearly had no backup plan...They didn't even try to talk to Matt Flynn, who signed with Seattle...Actually other then Rucker, it seems like they haven't talked to any free-agents...This team desperately needs 1 or 2 veteran WR's yet they didn't make a move on any...And I don't care that Cleveland isn't a desirable place for free-agents...Buffalo landed Mario Williams...Have you been to Buffalo? It's a little Cleveland...

It's also fucked up that the Browns, one of the youngest teams in the NFL...With hardly any talent, only has $17 million in cap space...What the fuck...Clearly these fuck-stains have written up some bad deals!

I have no faith that the big, fat, walrus, Mike Holmgren, his GM Tom Heckert, who didn't attend the Senior Bowl or combine, (I don't care about your health issues, do your job fuck stick) and their idiot head coach, Pat Shurmur, will ever turn this train-wreck of a franchise around...

And I have even less faith in owner Randy Lerner...Lerner who cares more about his English Soccer team, Aston Villa, has shown little to no interest in the Browns since he took them over after his father's passing...And as for Aston Villa...They lost $85 million last year, and Lerner turned around and dumped another $40 million into that mess...Yet this fucking cunt wants the city of Cleveland and the tax payers of Cuyahoga County to pay for repairs and renovations and that stupid ass Browns Stadium...EAT A DICK RANDY!!!

As for me, and my little world...I've been battling a lack of inspiration for a couple months now...Even when I have something on my mind, I find myself looking at the screen for awhile, and then just shutting it down...I'm trying to work through it...I even turned to the work of the brilliant and talent singer-songwriter Damien Rice for inspiration...He writes some amazing and brutally honest songs...




The kids are doing well...And our decision to send them to a private Catholic School next year was recently reinforced...The wife and I were dealing with some other family matters, when the school nurse called my cell and started by saying, "It's not an emergency, but your daughter was being choked by a boy on the playground." Umm, how the fuck is that not an emergency!?!

So of course I flew off the handle, mother fucking everyone and their brother...Let me be honest with you all...The staff at the school was lucky I was 2 hours away when they called, because if it had been a normal day, shit would have gotten real!

The asshole, fucking boy choked my daughter, because some little, cunt, bitch told him to...And I don't feel bad at all describing kids like that...They're fucking assholes...The main reason, because their parents are fucking assholes...I'm sick of single parent households, and a bad home life and other bullshit being an excuse for kids being assholes...I'm not saying that these things don't have an effect on kids...They do...I'm saying, I'm sick of all the shitty parents who suck at raising their kids...Or just flat-out, don't raise their kids...Fuck you, you fucking fucks!

That's it for now...Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning 12-19-11
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NFL Cleveland Browns Mike Holmgren Tim Tebow Tom Brady Green Bay Packers Rosie Jones Pearl Jam The Beeze Christmas NCAA Football


Well Merry Christmas!

So this past week I went silent...I haven't posted a blog since last Monday Moaning...I did little on Twitter or Facebook...Just needed a bit of a break...Plus it's been busy here...These couple weeks are busy at the Fish House, so I've been trying to get more sleep instead of being up until 2:00AM and then getting up with the kids at 6:30AM...

Then there's getting ready for Christmas...And we had a birthday last week...It's already been a year since this picture was taken of my baby girl laying on my chest the night she was born...


Now look at here swinging in the cool December air...


Here she is busting a move with Frosty the Snowman...




Sometimes blogging just has to take a backseat to shit like that...Now let's get into some sports...We'll start with the shitty Browns...Yeah, they lost again Sunday, in OT to Arizona...Whatever...I want to talk about how Mike Holmgren has been doing his job as President of the Browns...For guy making nearly 10 million dollars a year, he really sucks...Twice he has addressed the media this year...Both times after the media and fans have raised their voices about where is this guy, what is he doing, and why is he on radio shows in Seattle instead of Cleveland...

In his press conference last week he informed us that "NO ONE" on the Browns medical staff, or coaching staff knew that Colt McCoy had his brain caved in by James Harrison..."No One saw him get hit in the head." How is it that the Browns staff are the only people on Earth who didn't see that hit!?! I guess they all have their heads up their asses!

Then Fatty Holmgren got pissy with the media for questioning him, and what he's doing...Earlier that day, long time Cleveland Plain Dealer columnist Bud Shaw took Holmgren to task, saying that it doesn't matter who's in charge, "it's business as usual." He also eluded to what many of us think...Fatty is just collecting a check...And that was mild compared to what some of the radio guys were saying...So fatty got pissed at the media and said, "You're either with us, or you're not, so remember that when you come looking for extra playoff tickets."

WHAT!?! How the fuck is this guy talking about playoffs!?! This team is so far from that it's unreal...And you know what Fatty...It's the media's job to question you...And true fans should question you...True fans get pissed after watching a team suck year after year...No one is going to kneel down and kiss your ring...Why? Because you didn't win it here fat fuck!

-So how about those Packers...My pal Ryan has been harping on me all year to write up some love for his Packers...So I was watching them play the Chiefs Sunday, and planning on hyping a perfect season...But then, I noticed after every play that a guy made a first down, he was doing that stupid, hand gesture, showing he did his job...I already hated the Clay Matthews Jr. sack celebration, so now I was getting annoyed, and rooting against them...I didn't actually think the Chiefs would hold on, but damn...They D'ed up big time...Kept Rogers uncomfortable all day, and their offense just kept plugging away at that weak Packers defense...And the '72 Dolphins rejoiced!

- Then there was Jesus Tebow...Now last time I checked the Scripture, Jesus was the son of God...Tebow, I may give the Holy Spirit...But Sunday he, and his Broncos teammates, saw God...Tom fucking Brady...He's gotta be the closest thing to the almighty...All he does his shine up his Super Bowl rings, and MVP's...Sling it like a cock-strong, mother fucker...Win...And speaking of cock-strong, he created life with not only a hot actress, but also his super model wife...Shit, he sounds like the Holy Trinity to me!

Yeah, it's nice to see Tebow, Denver, and the Tebow followers, get a dose of reality! If your boy Timmy is such a miracle worker, and has the ear of God, then why is he wasting his time with Football...Go cure Cancer with your magical powers!

-Christmas time means something else besides, shopping, and gifts, and parties...It means here comes the non-stop 3 week parade of College Football Bowl Games...This week we get into the madness with plenty of average teams going at it to make a few extra bucks...I'm dogging on them, but I'll be watching a bit of Florida Int. vs. Marshall on Tuesday night...

-Now with it being Christmas time, we here a lot of the same old songs...And I love the classics, but I thought I'd share a few from one of my favorite bands...You don't think of Pearl Jam as a Christmas tune band, bu they do some good ones...Some unique tunes...I hope you enjoy...

"Let Me Sleep"




"Santa-God"




Here's the Bluesy "Don't Believe in Christmas"




Have a week...And have a Merry Christmas...

Later, The Beeze. 

Monday Moaning 11-7-11
Category: FEATURED
Tags: Jerry Sandusky Joe Paterno NFL Cleveland Browns Colt McCoy Pat Shurmur Mike Holmgren LeCharles Bentley Peyton Hillis Ray Lewis The Beeze


Just to warn you now...This is not going to be a friendly edition of Monday Moaning...If the opening pic doesn't sum it it up for you, this week's theme is FUCK YOU! And the First one is a BIG FUCK YOU...2 for 1 actually...

FUCK YOU Jerry Sandusky, you kid touching, fucking scum bag...You can't die soon enough...Saturday, Sandusky was charged by a Pennsylvania grand jury with multiple counts of "deviate sexual intercourse, corruption of minors, endangering the welfare of a child, indecent assault," and more, after a three-year investigation by state police...You fucking bastard! Seriously, my dream job is to be able to kill pieces of shit like Sandusky...

Oh, and I promised 2 for 1...Joe Paterno, you stupid, old, overrated, asshole...FUCK YOU! Why you ask...In 2002 a former graduate assistant told Paterno of a potential sexual assault of a 10year old boy inside the Penn State locker room by Sandusky...At that time Sandusky was Penn State's defensive coordinator...Paterno passed it along to his AD, but never bothered to look into it himself, or follow up on any possible investigation...Nothing was done...Nothing, and Sandusky had 9 more years to freely prey on kids...So Fuck You Joe Paterno...

There is no reason for a 58 year old man and a 10 year old boy to be in that situation...A possible sexual assault of a minor occurring inside Paterno’s locker room, by an assistant coach...And he did nothing! All you people who love Paterno so much, and go on and on about how great he is, and what a high standard he upholds, please....Please fucking, try to defend him now....Fuck You too!

Before I just hated you because I thought you were overrated...Real coaches don't collect their wins in the booth, you tired old fuck...Nevermind it was clear ten years ago, that the game was starting to pass you by...And in the past 5 years, it's clear that your assistants have been carrying you, and your cunty legacy...And now that legacy includes you having a kid toucher on your staff, and when you found out about it, you didn't do shit...Please fall down some stairs and die already!

Next...FUCK YOU to the Cleveland Browns....Last week I had a talk with BROWNS_FANS...And after Sunday, I think more might start drinking what I'm spilling...

Fuck You Pat Shurmur...His offense sucks...He can't manage his team, his coaches...Shit he can't manage the clock...He constantly goes into the half, and goes home with his time-outs in his pocket...Fuck McCoy...No really, somebody fuck him...Poor bastard spent another Sunday running for his life...So yeah, Fuck the O-Line...I'm not sold on McCoy, his arm looks weak, but like I said, dude is always running, or on his back...

This tweet from some gash, Browns beat reporter summed up Sunday's game...#Texans rookie LB Brooks Reed who had two sacks, three qb hits on #Browns QB colt McCoy: "I couldn't believe they weren't blocking me.''

Fuck You Holmgren....Fat bastard just sitting in his suite, stuffing his face, and laughing that he's got a $10 million contract to run this mess...Just walks around and shows his Super Bowl ring, and thinks he's put in a day of work...

And Fuck all the Peyton Hillis Bullshit!

FUCK You LeCharles_Bentley!

FUCK the great big hype machine, that talked us all into thinking Saturday's LSU vs. Alabama game was going to be the biggest, greatest, most exciting game we would ever see in years...IT WASN'T!!! He fucking sucked...It sucked like a girl with a sandpaper tongue!

Luckily, there was hockey (god bless center ice) and a much more exciting high school game on to watch...

FUCK YOU Ray Lewis! This camera hungry asshole gets away with being an accessory to murder, and then every fucking week I gotta see him giving his moronic pre-game speeches to his idiot fucking teammates...All these cock-suckers talking about a football game being a war...Could the military please take Ray Lewis into custody, fly him overseas, and drop his ass in Afghanistan's Korengal Valley...The fucking asshole would be crying for his mother after day one...

FUCK YOU Burntwood Tavern, who over-cooked my Lamb Chops, and burnt my root vegetables Friday night...The other stuff was good, and the wife blew me on the way home so, they'll get a mostly good review...

So this post has been all negative, except the blow job Friday night...So let's end on a bright note...Me an Ms. Molly have been taking advantage of the oddly nice weather, and hitting the park...


She's lovin' the swings...


And I love that smile....

See, I don't fucking hate everyone!

Have a week....

Later, The Beeze. 

 

An Open Letter to Browns Fans
Category: NFL
Tags: NFL The Beeze Cleveland Browns Pat Shurmur Mike Holmgren Randy Lerner Colt McCoy Browns Fans Loyalty Money Respect

  It's time...Time for me to sit you down, and tell you what needs to be said...I'm not the only one...There are a few guys on the new 92.3 "The Fan" that feel the same...But I don't know how many people are listening to the channel that use to be the best music station in Cleveland, and is now sports talk...Now we're left with Oldies, 80's, and ACDC and Pink Floyd being rammed down our throats...I've had enough of that...But this post isn't about Cleveland Radio...

This post is about the Browns, and Browns fans who are loyal, to a fault...I grew up a Browns fan...I lived through some tough times..."The Drive" is always talked about...But it was Earnest Byner having the ball stripped from him at the goal line that made me cry...My loyalty and devotion to the Browns left, when the team left for Baltimore...We always saw players that we loved on our teams leave for greener pastures and greener money...But the whole damn franchise leaving showed just how little loyalty in sports meant...A fan base that hadn't had a winner since before the "Super Bowl" existed, sold out it's 70,000 plus seat stadium every game...And they got screwed...My team left and went to Baltimore...

So Cleveland may have won the legal battle to keep the colors and the name, it's team was still gone...So I've never been able to fully embrace the new Browns...But many people did...No one shits on my town Cleveland, as much as me, but I'll say this...Clevelanders, for the most part are good people, and loyal...Way too loyal...And they're very hungry for a winner to cheer for...Since 1999 Browns fans have bought into multiple team philosophies...Multiple coaches, GM's, multiple presidents, and multiple QB's...

It's time to STOP!

Stop making Randy Lerner's life easy...This guy barely notices what is going on with his team...He's more focused on his Soccer team...Hell lives most of the year in New York...Yet, Browns fans never hold him accountable for how the franchise is run...Stop putting money in his pockets...It's time to stop spending money on a losing product...You wouldn't continue to dump money into any other product in your life, that gave nothing positive back to you...The Browns are a drain...They take your money, and give you heartache, pain, misery, and shitty football!

Stop making Mike Holmgren's job and life easy...It's time the Walrus has his feet put to the fire...People just want to believe that because he won "Super Bowls" as an assistant coach and one as a head coach, that he knows how to run a football franchise...When he went to Seattle front office, he drove it into the ground...His only good decision was hiring GM Tom Heckert...And Heckert had a lot of catching up to do, after many years of bad drafts and free agent moves...Luckily, he has an eye for talent on the defensive side of the ball...Stop wasting your money!

Coach Pat Shurmur clearly refuses to look at what he has talent wise, and fit his scheme to fit with the talent...Colt McCoy showed flashes of excellence last year, on a bad team...Shurmur's offense has him stifled...McCoy has regressed this year...And The O-Line has struggled all year...Some of that has to be scheme...They have refused to put McCoy in the shotgun, which would buy him an extra second before he has to run for his life...McCoy either can't throw a deep ball...Sooner or later that will catch up to you in the NFL...Just ask Tim Couch!

Last year this team was lead by a power running game, and play action passing...NONE OF THAT this year...The WR's can't get open...Some run bad routes...Some just don't have the speed, or ability to beat a DB...Too many drops has been a problem for years...I think Braylon Edwards spilled a bottle of dropsies all over Berea, and they still haven't washed it all away...

And don't forget about that 3 year stint when every time a player had an injury, he ended up hospitalized with a Staph Infection...Why are you still spending your money on this team? STOP!

Monday October 31, 2011...Coach Shurmur's Monday Press Conference...It was the first time a Monday Press Conference lasted less than 10 minutes...WHY? Because Shurmur, who Holmgren said he wants to be the voice of the organization, has been pissy with the media on the rare occasions when they ask him the tough questions...Or when they push for a real answer...He is always defensive...Listen, when dumb things are happening, and the play is awful, and the offense is moving backwards, the press and fans are going to have questions...But this dick comes in there acting like he is Bill Belichick with 5 rings...Dude you aren't shit! So Monday, the press quickly got sick of his act, and stopped asking questions...Dead air...

The Browns are alienating the media...The fans will be next...The whole organization is going backwards...Stop drinking what they are spilling!

Tell me, what have the Cleveland Browns done for you since 1999? Not Much right! So why do you keep doing for them? Respect, honor, and loyalty are supposed to be earned, not just given away...The same goes for money...Stop giving yourself away Browns fans...Make these dolts earn your respect, honor, loyalty, and money!


Later, The Beeze.

 

The Cleveland Browns Stink Like $h!t
Category: NFL
Tags: NFL Cleveland Browns Pat Shurmur Peyton Hillis Mike Holmgren Josh Cribbs Joe Thomas Colt McCoy Evan Moore

  Monday I spoke of my disgust with the Browns, but I blew past it...So lets get into what has been happening...

Pat Shurmur was brought in as the new head coach...Another dope who has never been a head coach...Great! Oh, and he decided to not hire an Offensive Coordinator...He's doing that too...He under the watchful eye of Mike, "the fat walrus" Holmgren, is implementing "The West Coast Offense"...But for some reason their version doesn't believe in running the ball...Umm I remember the 49ers running the ball well and often back in the day...Same with Gruden's Tampa Bay Buccaneers...So why aren't the Browns running?

Now they have Madden cover-boy Peyton Hillis...He rushed for over 1,000 yards last year...He was also the teams second leading receiver, with over 60 receptions...Yet Hillis is hardly on the field lately...WHY? So many reasons...The Browns publicly opened contract talks with Hillis...The fans were behind Hillis getting big money...They love this guy...Then he got strep...Or did he? The story has changed a few times...The team said they "sent him home, he was too sick to play."...Then he said his agent told him not to play...Hillis and his agent took to every radio show that would have them...

Then the next two games, Hillis hardly saw the field...Instead they had stone-hand Hardesty out there...(6 dropped passes in 2 games)...Shurmur keeps saying Hillis is their guy, but he's never out there...Then he had a hamstring injury...But Shurmur said he didn't know about it...Shurmur often seems confused in his press conferences...So now what?

Fans aren't behind Hillis much anymore...Many were hoping the Browns would trade him Tuesday...But they aren't behind Shurmur either...He's in over his head, and the fans are getting restless...

Evan Moore was said to be the team's pre-season MVP...He's without a doubt, the best pass catcher on the team...But he, like Hillis is not getting on the field enough...They say he doesn't block well...So he is only out there foe pass plays...Way to tip your hand dummies!

Brian Robiskie was one of the two starting WR's this season...WHY? He is awful...Through the first 4 games he no catches, and 2 targets...He' can't get away from coverage...He sucks...He sucks! Mo Mass (I'm not trying to spell his whole name) isn't that good either, but he has potential, if healthy...Greg Little has tons of potential, but was suspended last year, and of course the lack of an off season hurt all rookies...

The O-line is shit...Clearly with injuries, they have shown they have no depth...And Joe Thomas is grossly overrated...Just ask,Colt McCoy's back side...Thomas has been getting beaten like Michael Vick's dogs all year long...

And McCoy...Well, he hasn't impressed...But that's hard to do when running for your life, or laying on your back...And when your team doesn't run the ball, and your WR's can't get open...McCoy hasn't throw a pass longer than 20 yards, which is killing people...Just one or two long balls a game would be nice...And when the coach calls a play with an empty backfield, why doesn't he have McCoy in the shotgun, just to give him an extra second from the pass rush?

Then there is fan favorite, and team leader, Josh Cribbs...Cribbs came out this week, and basically said, since the offense isn't using him, he wants to get back on special teams...He wasn't just talking about returns, he wants to get back to covering kicks...Cribbs pointed out the team hadn't given up a kickoff return for a touch down when he covered kicks...But when he wasn't Sunday, the Browns gave one up...

The defense has played well, but they have been gashed for some big yards on the ground...Again, injuries are popping up, and showing off the lack of depth...That said, I do like how GM, Tom Heckert has worked the draft...Trying to build up the defense...

As I said, Shurmur seems in over his head, and confused in front of the press...The walrus Holmgren has avoided the local press, but some how, that fat bastard thought it would be cool to talk about the Browns on a Seattle Radio show...




Fucking asshole! Way to make time for your pals in Seattle...

I just want to make this clear...So many people in Cleveland have a in Holmgren we trust attitude...I never understood why...He won one "Super Bowl" as a head coach, and 2 as an assistant coach...He never has in his roles in the front office...As a matter of fact, Seattle got worse when he moved to the front office...

Wake up Cleveland! Fatty isn't going to save this team...He hired another in a long line of shitty coaches...And they have pinned their QB hopes on a short guy who can't throw a deep bowl, and will be physically, and possibly mentally broken in two years...

Later, The Beeze.

 

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