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WOO HOOOOOOOO!!!! HOWDY!!!! Good day and good morning. Welcome Gabbers and others to my NASCAR update and other fast stuff. It's Sunday. It's Cinco De Mayo too. I think that means have a drink with your chinchilla in the carport. No oblo espanisho. So I really can't tell you what it means but I think my chinchilla would love a drink in the carport. Just can't let him near the grill. His fur would go up in seconds. Safety first you know. So how are all your fantasy leagues doing? I was checking out teams and their DL's. Did you know the NYY have $46 million on the DL? Jeter and A-Rod are $45 million of that. INSANE!!!!!!! EL STUPIDO!!!!!!! Add in Teixeira and that's another $23 million. OBSCENE!!!!! AND AGAIN EL STUPIDO!!!! What do these guys do to earn that much? The rest of the team is over paid too.

KYLE PETTY CHARITY RIDE IN PROGRESS
Kyle Petty, son of Richard Petty is on the move. As of April 27th he started his 19th charity motor cycle ride to benefit the Victory Junction Camp which is a hospital disguised as a camp ground. More than 7650 children with chronic medical issues have attended this special camp at no cost to the families due to the donations from Kyle's ride.
There will be more than 175 motor cycles riding from Idaho to Wyoming to Colorado and on to Arizona on Friday the 3rd of May.
Kyle says it started out as just a small group of friends out riding from track to track across the country. Hershel Walker of NFL fame is on his 8th ride this year. He enjoys the camaraderie among the riders and watching Kyle interact with the fans and donors along the route.
You can check out the charity ride through....www.kylepettycharityride.com or facebook.com/KP charityride.

On May 12th it's the 24th annual Mothers Day Convoy for Make A Wish. Truckers compete to see who can get the most donations. Kids get to ride in the trucks as they make their way from Lancaster to Ephrata and back along the Amish Autobahne, Rte 222. It is the coolest thing to sit on the shoulder of a highway and watch the trucks go by.

On May 18th it's the 60th annual Sertoma Chicken BBQ at Long's Park outside of Lancaster, PA. It's a Guiness Book certified event. Over 25,000 chicken dinners will be served. For $9 you get a half chicken, beverage, roll, chips, banana, candy and ice cream.
Profits benefit upkeep of Long's Park, it's petting zoo and amphitheater which has free summer concerts.
So if you're bored and in PA for the 12th or 18th you can see clowns chasing people before the trucks take off for the convoy or go get a chicken dinner. Nice choices.

RICHMOND RECAP
This would be a picture of the squirrel that took out my Yahoo fantasy league. Yup. He took himself pretty much out along with Mark Martin and Brian Vickers. Like I said before about Kasey Kahne. He's a talented squirrel. He's either brilliantly winning the race or he's wrecking. The week I pick him he drives like a squirrel possessed and takes out my fantasy team. BOOOOO!!!! ROCKIE YOU ARE NOT!!!!! Go crawl inside Bullwinkle's hat. Bad squirrel.
Actually almost every driver was possessed last week. It looked like Bristol and not Richmond. I was in shock watching it. Kurt Busch was a ping pong ball. I think he bounced off everybody. He almost got the win but pit stops were not in his favor. He did ping pong his way to a 9th place finish in the ensuing Green/White Checker finish as well as a run in with Stewart, Kenseth and Truex on the track, Stewart on pit road and Stewart in the garage area. Christmas card bets anyone?
I really thought it was Montoya's night. Montoya stayed out of the pits and inherited the lead at caution #8 with 74 to go. He ran away from Harvick and it looked like it was his race. His day. He kept the lead through 2 cautions and 68 laps but the last caution with 6 to go was it. Harvick snatched his win away with the last restart. He was a good sport about it though. A 4th ain't so bad considering how bad his season was last year. I mean he did blow up the jet dryer at Daytona.
Top 15 finishers - Harvick - Bowyer - Logano - Montoya - Burton - Edwards - Kenseth - Almirola - Kurt B - Dale Jr - Gordon - Johnson - Menard - Allmendinger - Newman
PENALTY UPDATE
Penske lost their first appeal of the rear end housing debate. They get one more appeal and it's with the top dawg at the National Stock Car Racing Panel. We'll see how that goes.
NASCAR SAFETY MEETING
NASCAR called a crew chief meeting to talk about safety at the track. In the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing NASCAR wanted the crew chiefs to get with their teams and other personnel to keep a closer watch in the garage area as well as the pits and any where someone could leave things that don't belong there. If it looks out of place then say something. A broader focus on safety and awareness is now on.
TALLADEGA SPEEDWAY PREVIEW

Remember this car? You may have forgotten since it hangs out in the back all race long. This would be Danica. Speed is her thing so this 2.5 mile track is up her alley. I expect her to get a top 10. She was 8th at Daytona. So...it could happen.
It would be Bobby Labonte's 700th career start come this Sunday. Cinco De Wow - O. His record at Dega is 1 pole - 1 win - 6 top 5's - 13 top 10's and he's led 154 laps. GO BOBBY!!!!
So last years top 10 finishers were - Keselowski - Kyle B - Kenseth - Kahne- Biffle - Bowyer - Ragan - Bayne - Dale Jr - Burton
With 7 to go Kurt B took a spin then on the restart Allmendinger blocks Hamlin who bobs and weaves and takes out everyone up front.
So in the present it's been raining all week in Alabama. There's a 60% chance of rain on race day. Qualifying was rained out so the field was set by practice speeds, owners points and champions provisionals. Edwards gets the starting spot but it's not considered the pole. I can not begin to explain how you get the first spot and no credit for a pole position. NASCAR confounds me with all the twisty turny stuff sometimes. Lets move on now. Shall we?
Hamlin has gotten medical clearance to start the race but the first caution he must exit the car and let Vickers drive. The reason for him even starting is that if he starts the race, he gets the points. Not the relief driver. So if any one still has Vickers you best drop him. His points will be Hamlin's. It takes a good 3 minutes to switch out drivers so he may go down a lap under caution. Since it's been raining I'm betting NASCAR has a competition caution around lap 30 or so. Either that or a phantom debris caution just so Hamlin can get out of the car. I'm sure they're nervous about him being in the race.
This is a crap shoot as far as races go but there are some guys you can expect to be there in the end on most speedway races. Johnson is one of them. Dale Jr, Keselowski, Edwards, Kenseth, Kyle B, Stewart, Bowyer, Truex and Biffle.
Others that are there after wrecks cause opportunity are Burton who has benefited on numerous occasions after a speedway wreck. Almirola, Gilliland, Ambrose, David Ragan and Mears.
Avoid Gordon and Kyle B. Both had issues last week. Looks like a rerun of last year. Who will screw up one point less than the other to get in the Chase.
Logano is still hanging in there. He has a 4th place start.
Michael Waltrip starts 14th in the #55. Martin is vacationing away from the Dega Crap Shoot. If you need a C lister he'd fit the bill.
I'm still expecting a break out with McMurray and Montoya. They're both getting closer every week.
My Yahoo picks this week? Kenseth, Edwards, Dale Jr & Patrick. I'm hoping my race winner and top 10 picks aren't sitting on the bench like last week. Kahne needs to stay away from my team.

This would be Gordons Dega car. Nice huh? I like it Don't pick it though.
REPORT CARD FOR 2013 GEN 6 CAR
------>1,203 more green flag passes than last year after 9 races.
------>Average margin of victory .634 seconds compared to last years 1.759 seconds.
------>49.9% of cars finishing on the lead lap. Up from 38.2% from last year.
------>83.2% of the cars running at the end of the race. Up 3% from last year.
So I guess the car is doing what it's supposed to. Go really fast and turn left. The reason there's more cars running at the end is because NASCAR made rules to discourage Start & Park teams. They all try to finish now. It's good and bad. Good for competition and bad if a power house team car has a bad day. They can't count on gaining a whole lot of spots any more from the back. It used to be you knew there'd be 6 to 10 cars out by lap 75 so if you had a bad day you wouldn't be worse than about 30th. Not now. Tough racing.

COOL FISH STORY
If you look this up on You Tube or Grindtv.com there's a great video. These guys were out swordfish fishing and they hook a 600 lb swordfish. Problem is an equally huge Mako shark decides he wants that swordfish too. He body slams the boat. He also mauls the swordfish. Great video. Wish I could figure out how to move videos. Worth a look up.
Kirk and James of Metallica played a great rendition of the Star Spangled Banner at a SF Giants game too. Also worth a look up.
Any who, it's Sunday. We got Gabbers traveling. I hope they're safe. Hope your day is filled with the happening of your choice. Be it swordfish fishing, Yuengling guzzling, bear hugging, grilling, chasing your neighbors pet flamingos out of your yard or breakfast with great company. Do it well and enjoy your day and....
I'm outta here.....
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