I hope all the moms out there had a great Mother's Day...We all know the MILF's did! Mother's Day...Shit, it should be called 'Dad get the kids out of here so Mom can be a lump all day!' I'm kidding, I'm kidding...I love all you moms out their....Especially my wife and my mom...Just remember ladies...Remember the lengths we go to on Mother's Day...Because it seems like when Father's Day rolls around, it gets blown off....Restaurants aren't booked solid for Father's Day...There isn't a big hoopla...A steak and a blow job should be the minimum requirement!

So, any big news stories this week....Oh yeah, THIS big story in the Cleve of course...I wrote that the night it broke...But after that I left the story alone...One of the reasons I left it alone was the Charles Ramsey angle...They guy was an instant media hit...Yes he did the right thing...But I was watching all his interviews, and then I heard his 9-1-1 call...I heard stuff that I expected, like him swearing...You could tell in some of the interviews he was fighting to keep certain words back...But the thing that bothered me was how his story changed in slight details, and how his 9-1-1 call didn't match with some stuff he said...Then there was the interview where he said, "I'm not a hero, I'm the definition of a man."

NOT SO FAST CHUCK...Yeah, you did the right thing...You along with another guy who got no love because he doesn't speak English...But Charles Ramsey has himself a hell of a record...Including 3 convictions for domestic violence and some unpaid child support...So while Charles Ramsey helped Amanda Berry break out of that door, and all of Cleveland is thrilled to have found these 3 young women alive, calling yourself "the definition of a man" is bullshit...Charles Ramsey may have changed his ways, but I don't think he can wear that label.

And right after the story broke people seemed quick to bash the police...Yeah, the 9-1-1 operator was an asshole...I think most people agree on that...And yes, police and the courts should have gone after this Castro bastard harder on stuff in his past...Like maybe when he beat the hell out of his ex-wife, busting up her shoulders, ribs, face, and causing a blood clot on her brain....Oh, and taking their kids and not returning them...Threatening to kill her...Yeah, people should have looked at this guy harder...But you can't blame every cop this...Especially when every time the city is in a budget crunch, they layoff Cops...The system is broken, not the police...

See, this is why I started light, with the MILF crap...because I knew this shit was gonna get heavier...

Well, may as well keep it heavy for a bit longer...Former Notre Dame Fullback, Asaph Schwapp died this past week after a long battle with cancer...He was 26 years old...Too damn young...

-So last week I brought up the NCAA Lacrosse Tourney...So here's what shook out this weekend...UNC beat Lehigh 16-7...Yale beat Penn State 10-7...Notre Dame beat Detroit Mercy 9-7...Denver beat Albany 19-14...Cornell beat Maryland 16-8...Ohio State beat Towson 16-6...Duke beat Loyal (md) 12-11 in double OT...and Syracuse beat Bryant 12-7...Action will pick back up Saturday...

-As for Hockey...The Rangers are killing me...There may not be enough beer in this house to get through Monday night's game 7 with the Capitals...Both teams have held their ground at home...So the Rangers have to break that Monday...Both Goalies have been amazing...5 of the the 6 games were won by won goal...Each goalie has a 1-0 victory...Braden Holtby is becoming an elite goalie right in front of our eyes...He's going toe-to-toe with Lunqvist...And the two superstar goal scores...ALexander Ovechkin, and Rick Nash have been shut down...It's the gritty, role players getting it done...

And Glen Sather looks like a genius for trading Marian Gaborik...Derrick Brassard has flourished with the Rangers, and has been one of their 3 best players in this series...John Moore, the young d-man has stepped right in, and shown he's an elite skater, with great hands, and loads of potential...And Derek Dorsett has played great in this series as well...One thing bothering me, is calling up Chris Krieder and giving him hardly any minutes...They refused to trade him in the Nash deal...He gave them great energy late last season...He has great speed...He's a play maker, and a goal scorer...Your team is struggling to score...He needs to be on the ice Torts!

Sunday night's game ended with some chippieness...Green and Ribero from the Capitals pulled a couple of cocksucker moves late in the game, and when the horn sounded at the end of the game...After the Ranger 1-0 win, the well composed unit let the Caps know they weren't forgetting about it...And the Caps were trying to get in their head for game 7...Monday night's game should be fun...But I'll be sure to have my blood pressure meds and a six-pack sitting next to me...

The Boston Bruins will also be in a game 7 Monday night...Some how they let the Maple Leafs back in, and all the sudden the Leafs are giving them fits....WOW! Who would of thunk it!

Playoff hockey people...Can't beat it!

Have a week...

The Beeze.

Did you watch the Kentucky Derby? Would you always watch horse racing if the jockeys looked like this...

Maybe you'd like them to wear something that the wind can blow through....

Saddles are overrated too....

I could post pics of chicks with horses all day...And I could find them doing kinkier stuff too...But I'm just stalling...Yes, stalling....Stalling to say that the best I could do this year with the Kentucky Derby was pick the horse that finished third...

Did I spend too much time studying horses this past week, which has led to my disappointment? Or did I not spend enough time? Listen, I was throwing money down on Orb, (the winner) who ran a great race...He came in as the favorite...The big money wasn't there to be made on him...I took my shots on Revolutionary, Itsmyluckyday, and Java's War....I played with a couple different Trifecta's...But nothing...

In our family bet, Little Beeze said fuck you dad...He put his money on Orb (winner, winner, chicken nugget dinner)...Molls went with her Uncle's pick and took Verrazano (14th place)...My oldest daughter had Revolutionary (3rd place)...I had Itsmyluckyday(15th place)...My wife had Mylute (5th place)...Yeah, studying up did me a whole lot of good...Fucking schooled by them all and their lack of knowledge and nonsensical ways of picking horses...

-I'm also stalling because I don't want to talk about the NHL playoffs...Especially my New York Rangers being down 2-0 to the Washington Capitals...Saturday they lost 1-0 in OT...That's a tough one to take there...I expect Lundqvist to play great...But the way Holtby has played through the first two games is unreal...The next two games at MSG...The Rangers need to take them both, and then play the best of 3...

There is something else that I have been noticing in the NHL playoffs...I noticed it the past few years...The physical play, and chippyness has intensified...The NHL playoffs are always more intense then the regular season...The urgency is always cranked up...And the physical play always seems to go up a notch...But the last few years it seems like it has gone to another level...And this year, there are games where it seems like 'Well it's the playoffs!' is just being used as an excuse for the physical play, chippyness, and penalties, and some players just being total dickheads! (See The Montreal Canadiens/ Ottawa Senators and Vancouver Canucks when looking for major dickheads!)

-Any Lacrosse fans out there? I don't watch Lacrosse on a regular basis, but if I'm flipping around the channels with nothing to do, and there's a college Lacrosse game on, I'll watch it...It's got a bit of a hockey feel to it...So, the NCAA Tournament is about to get underway, so I thought I'd give you the seeding for the tourney...

(1) Syracuse (Big East) vs (16)Bryant (Sunday @7:30)

Well the weekend is over...There was plenty of sports...NASCAR let the NRA sponsor a race which with all the talk about gun laws got people all kinds of fired up...Me, I don't care...NASCAR is a business and the NRA has money to spend...Do I agree with everything they say...No...But I don't watch NASCAR either, so I don't give a damn...

Adam Scott won the Masters...I heard it went to a playoff but I didn't watch...Why? Because golf bores me, and the wife didn't want me taking a nap...Plus there was the whole shit about Tiger Woods supposedly not knowing the rules, and taking an illegal drop...The officials okay'ed his score card, then a viewer at home called and pointed out the violation...If people can call you up from home, and point out the rules that your officials missed, or screwed up on...Your sport/game is fucking stupid!

Besides that...These cocksuckers at the Masters gave a one stroke penalty to a 14 year old, who was out their holding his own, for playing too slow....FUCK YOU! But Tiger does something that would have gotten anyone else DQ'ed and he's given a two stroke penalty and allowed to stay in the hunt...Fucking Golf and the Masters can eat my ass!

-Let's go to a real sport...

Saturday night was the NCAA Hockey Championship in Pittsburgh...It was a battle of Connecticut as the Nation's #1 team Quinnipiac took on the Cinderella Yale Bulldogs...No matter who won, it would be their schools first NCAA Hockey title...

Well, Yale came to finish the Cinderella Story, lead by goalie Jeff Malcolm on his 24th birthday...

It was a tight, close game through two periods...Yale finally scoring first with just under 4 seconds left in the second period...

They carried the momentum into the third going up 3-0...Quinnipiac pulled their goalie, Hoby Baker finalist Eric Hartzell with 7 minutes left, trying to use the extra attacker to help them back in the game...But Malcolm held strong, making 36 saves...Yale fired in an empty net goal to put it out of reach, and winning 4-0...

Yale had proven once again not to count out underdogs...And that they can compete with the big guns in D-1 Hockey...Great win for Yale...And great for College Hockey...But the night belonged to the birthday boy Jeff Malcolm...The heart and soul of the team...The goalie in the tourney that they didn't talk about....Looks like he's finally caught the eye of a few people...

-This weekend was my and Mrs. Beeze's 12 year anniversary...We went out Friday for a cheap date...We started out, where it all began...A little bar, with great tacos...It was where we went the first time we went out after work...It was that night that I knew she was the one...SO we had a beer and a couple tacos and the went to the movies...Going to the movies is one of her favorite things to do...We saw Olympus Has Fallen...Spoiler Alert.......It had good action...The one dude was a good ass kicker and had some good lines...But it was bullshit...And the CGI stuff looked like crap....

As we drove home, we started talking about how the time has flown by...12 years went by quick...I never imagined my life like this...And now I wouldn't consider changing it...3 kids, a house, a mini-van, coaching baseball, selling a guitar to get my daughter a clarinet...I'm still madly in love with my wife...I'm a lucky guy...Wouldn't change a thing...(but if I found a million dollars in my wallet tomorrow that wouldn't be awful)

Have a week...

The Beeze

As fantasy baseball players, we can all understand the difficulty involved with making trades. After all those years of swapping baseball cards with your friends, it knocks you off guard to find out that there is a lot more involved when swapping players for a fake baseball team.

First, you have to find the perfect partner, someone with whom you can not only match up in terms of needs, but also in supplying what they require. That requires examining the surplus of talent you have as well as combing through each opponent to understand how to make them want what you have.

Second, you have to then determine a worthwhile offer with which to entice them into dealing with you. Be prepared, because this first offer is often rejected and countered. If its not, then you over-packed the offer from the get-go.

Then you have the back and forth negotiating, attempting to work out a deal that is inevitably fair for everyone (and one that will be approved by other owners as well). This could be the most difficult task, as each and every owner (you included) wants to come out the winner in any trade. It's the nature of competition and the trade market is no different.

Doesn't sound so bad, does it?

Well, imagine for a minute that this is a six-year keeper league, meaning that each player on the roster is with you as long as you don't release or trade them for a minimum of six season, as long as you don't release or trade any of them. To make things difficult, we'll give you are given a salary cap with which to work with. Just for kicks, let's throw in the fact that we can swap minor-leaguers as well, a minor-leaguer with a service clock that starts when they reach the Major Leagues.

Does it still sound easy? It shouldn't, because that is what Major League general managers have to deal with.

On Thursday, we learned (from Andy Martino of the NY Daily News) that the New York Mets were keeping an eye on outfielders Giancarlo Stanton of the Miami Marlins and Carlos Gonzalez of the Colorado Rockies. While both targets are extremely attractive candidates for any general manager to chase after and the Mets would be a good trade partner for both the Rockies and Marlins, Sandy Alderson, Larry Beinfest, and Dan O'Dowd have a lot to consider in any deal.

- It isn't often that a big trade involving a player under team control goes down mid-season. Stanton is under team control through 2016 and would be eligible for arbitration for the first time this coming winter, making him extremely affordable, even for the Marlins.

Gonzalez is under team control through the 2017 season, but it less affordable than Stanton, being locked into a multi-year contract that will pay him $63.5 million over the next four seasons.

- In order for the Marlins to part with Stanton, the Mets would need to send quite the package to Miami. That would likely have to be headlined with the pair of Zack Wheeler and Travis d'Arnaud. Wheeler, was acquired in the Carlos Beltran deal two years ago and is currently ranked as the 8th best prospect in the game. d'Arnaud came to New York in the R.A. Dickey trade with the Blue Jays and is rated the sixth best prospect in baseball.

- Gonzalez, with his heavier price tag, and his being four years older than Stanton, would likely require a smaller package. d'Arnaud or Wheeler would have to be the center piece, but the deal likely wouldn't require both.

- That all said, the Mets (Alderson) then needs to decide if four years of either Stanton or Gonzalez are worth more than six seasons of low-priced team control over the top catching prospect and one of the best pitching prospect.

- On the flip side, while a deal would make real sense to the Marlins, they run the risk of further alienating their fan base by moving Stanton, their last remaining star player. However, one would find it hard to fault them for chasing a four-player package with Wheeler and d'Arnaud headlining the deal.

For the Rockies, that deal is much easier to do, as they need to drastically improve their pitching staff and getting Gonzalez's salary off the books would help them improve the team long-term. Wheeler would make more sense here, as the Rockies already have a solid young catcher in Wilin Rosario.

- Both teams also need to realize the longer they wait, the less control they surrender of these players and the small the return package becomes.

- Equally so, the Mets could make a huge splash by bringing in Stanton or Gonzalez, especially given the contract they gave David Wright signaling that they are not rebuilding the team.

Needless to say, there are a lot of moving pieces in any deal of this scope, and I can't say that I would envy either GM of their ordeal. If you thought making a trade for a fake baseball team was difficult, just imagine what it means when you are deciding the next 4-6 years of your organization.

That's what these three teams are trying to weigh, and there is no guarantee regardless of which path they take.

Easy, I don't think so.

It wasn't like most of us at the Gab (or anyone else on the planet) couldn't use their bracket picks to fire up the grill after the second round, one of my two were toast by then, but there was a select few who were able to move on and stay competitive. In the end only one could win, and I'm pleased to announce that Qwazier held on for the win. Congrats Qwazier....great job!

Funny thing about Qwazier, she's claims she knows squat about college basketball, but wins the challenge, and she claims not to be into hockey yet her Gab fantasy team was one of the toughest to beat...in what I believe is her first venture into fantasy hockey. Yeah, okay! I think we're dealing with the ultimate sandbagger here folks. I've got my eye on you...and no more hockey tips for you and Jeff anymore either.