I hope all the moms out there had a great Mother's Day...We all know the MILF's did! Mother's Day...Shit, it should be called 'Dad get the kids out of here so Mom can be a lump all day!' I'm kidding, I'm kidding...I love all you moms out their....Especially my wife and my mom...Just remember ladies...Remember the lengths we go to on Mother's Day...Because it seems like when Father's Day rolls around, it gets blown off....Restaurants aren't booked solid for Father's Day...There isn't a big hoopla...A steak and a blow job should be the minimum requirement!

So, any big news stories this week....Oh yeah, THIS big story in the Cleve of course...I wrote that the night it broke...But after that I left the story alone...One of the reasons I left it alone was the Charles Ramsey angle...They guy was an instant media hit...Yes he did the right thing...But I was watching all his interviews, and then I heard his 9-1-1 call...I heard stuff that I expected, like him swearing...You could tell in some of the interviews he was fighting to keep certain words back...But the thing that bothered me was how his story changed in slight details, and how his 9-1-1 call didn't match with some stuff he said...Then there was the interview where he said, "I'm not a hero, I'm the definition of a man."

NOT SO FAST CHUCK...Yeah, you did the right thing...You along with another guy who got no love because he doesn't speak English...But Charles Ramsey has himself a hell of a record...Including 3 convictions for domestic violence and some unpaid child support...So while Charles Ramsey helped Amanda Berry break out of that door, and all of Cleveland is thrilled to have found these 3 young women alive, calling yourself "the definition of a man" is bullshit...Charles Ramsey may have changed his ways, but I don't think he can wear that label.

And right after the story broke people seemed quick to bash the police...Yeah, the 9-1-1 operator was an asshole...I think most people agree on that...And yes, police and the courts should have gone after this Castro bastard harder on stuff in his past...Like maybe when he beat the hell out of his ex-wife, busting up her shoulders, ribs, face, and causing a blood clot on her brain....Oh, and taking their kids and not returning them...Threatening to kill her...Yeah, people should have looked at this guy harder...But you can't blame every cop this...Especially when every time the city is in a budget crunch, they layoff Cops...The system is broken, not the police...

See, this is why I started light, with the MILF crap...because I knew this shit was gonna get heavier...

Well, may as well keep it heavy for a bit longer...Former Notre Dame Fullback, Asaph Schwapp died this past week after a long battle with cancer...He was 26 years old...Too damn young...

-So last week I brought up the NCAA Lacrosse Tourney...So here's what shook out this weekend...UNC beat Lehigh 16-7...Yale beat Penn State 10-7...Notre Dame beat Detroit Mercy 9-7...Denver beat Albany 19-14...Cornell beat Maryland 16-8...Ohio State beat Towson 16-6...Duke beat Loyal (md) 12-11 in double OT...and Syracuse beat Bryant 12-7...Action will pick back up Saturday...

-As for Hockey...The Rangers are killing me...There may not be enough beer in this house to get through Monday night's game 7 with the Capitals...Both teams have held their ground at home...So the Rangers have to break that Monday...Both Goalies have been amazing...5 of the the 6 games were won by won goal...Each goalie has a 1-0 victory...Braden Holtby is becoming an elite goalie right in front of our eyes...He's going toe-to-toe with Lunqvist...And the two superstar goal scores...ALexander Ovechkin, and Rick Nash have been shut down...It's the gritty, role players getting it done...

And Glen Sather looks like a genius for trading Marian Gaborik...Derrick Brassard has flourished with the Rangers, and has been one of their 3 best players in this series...John Moore, the young d-man has stepped right in, and shown he's an elite skater, with great hands, and loads of potential...And Derek Dorsett has played great in this series as well...One thing bothering me, is calling up Chris Krieder and giving him hardly any minutes...They refused to trade him in the Nash deal...He gave them great energy late last season...He has great speed...He's a play maker, and a goal scorer...Your team is struggling to score...He needs to be on the ice Torts!

Sunday night's game ended with some chippieness...Green and Ribero from the Capitals pulled a couple of cocksucker moves late in the game, and when the horn sounded at the end of the game...After the Ranger 1-0 win, the well composed unit let the Caps know they weren't forgetting about it...And the Caps were trying to get in their head for game 7...Monday night's game should be fun...But I'll be sure to have my blood pressure meds and a six-pack sitting next to me...

The Boston Bruins will also be in a game 7 Monday night...Some how they let the Maple Leafs back in, and all the sudden the Leafs are giving them fits....WOW! Who would of thunk it!

Playoff hockey people...Can't beat it!

Have a week...

The Beeze.

Did you watch the Kentucky Derby? Would you always watch horse racing if the jockeys looked like this...

Maybe you'd like them to wear something that the wind can blow through....

Saddles are overrated too....

I could post pics of chicks with horses all day...And I could find them doing kinkier stuff too...But I'm just stalling...Yes, stalling....Stalling to say that the best I could do this year with the Kentucky Derby was pick the horse that finished third...

Did I spend too much time studying horses this past week, which has led to my disappointment? Or did I not spend enough time? Listen, I was throwing money down on Orb, (the winner) who ran a great race...He came in as the favorite...The big money wasn't there to be made on him...I took my shots on Revolutionary, Itsmyluckyday, and Java's War....I played with a couple different Trifecta's...But nothing...

In our family bet, Little Beeze said fuck you dad...He put his money on Orb (winner, winner, chicken nugget dinner)...Molls went with her Uncle's pick and took Verrazano (14th place)...My oldest daughter had Revolutionary (3rd place)...I had Itsmyluckyday(15th place)...My wife had Mylute (5th place)...Yeah, studying up did me a whole lot of good...Fucking schooled by them all and their lack of knowledge and nonsensical ways of picking horses...

-I'm also stalling because I don't want to talk about the NHL playoffs...Especially my New York Rangers being down 2-0 to the Washington Capitals...Saturday they lost 1-0 in OT...That's a tough one to take there...I expect Lundqvist to play great...But the way Holtby has played through the first two games is unreal...The next two games at MSG...The Rangers need to take them both, and then play the best of 3...

There is something else that I have been noticing in the NHL playoffs...I noticed it the past few years...The physical play, and chippyness has intensified...The NHL playoffs are always more intense then the regular season...The urgency is always cranked up...And the physical play always seems to go up a notch...But the last few years it seems like it has gone to another level...And this year, there are games where it seems like 'Well it's the playoffs!' is just being used as an excuse for the physical play, chippyness, and penalties, and some players just being total dickheads! (See The Montreal Canadiens/ Ottawa Senators and Vancouver Canucks when looking for major dickheads!)

-Any Lacrosse fans out there? I don't watch Lacrosse on a regular basis, but if I'm flipping around the channels with nothing to do, and there's a college Lacrosse game on, I'll watch it...It's got a bit of a hockey feel to it...So, the NCAA Tournament is about to get underway, so I thought I'd give you the seeding for the tourney...

(1) Syracuse (Big East) vs (16)Bryant (Sunday @7:30)

Well the weekend is over...There was plenty of sports...NASCAR let the NRA sponsor a race which with all the talk about gun laws got people all kinds of fired up...Me, I don't care...NASCAR is a business and the NRA has money to spend...Do I agree with everything they say...No...But I don't watch NASCAR either, so I don't give a damn...

Adam Scott won the Masters...I heard it went to a playoff but I didn't watch...Why? Because golf bores me, and the wife didn't want me taking a nap...Plus there was the whole shit about Tiger Woods supposedly not knowing the rules, and taking an illegal drop...The officials okay'ed his score card, then a viewer at home called and pointed out the violation...If people can call you up from home, and point out the rules that your officials missed, or screwed up on...Your sport/game is fucking stupid!

Besides that...These cocksuckers at the Masters gave a one stroke penalty to a 14 year old, who was out their holding his own, for playing too slow....FUCK YOU! But Tiger does something that would have gotten anyone else DQ'ed and he's given a two stroke penalty and allowed to stay in the hunt...Fucking Golf and the Masters can eat my ass!

-Let's go to a real sport...

Saturday night was the NCAA Hockey Championship in Pittsburgh...It was a battle of Connecticut as the Nation's #1 team Quinnipiac took on the Cinderella Yale Bulldogs...No matter who won, it would be their schools first NCAA Hockey title...

Well, Yale came to finish the Cinderella Story, lead by goalie Jeff Malcolm on his 24th birthday...

It was a tight, close game through two periods...Yale finally scoring first with just under 4 seconds left in the second period...

They carried the momentum into the third going up 3-0...Quinnipiac pulled their goalie, Hoby Baker finalist Eric Hartzell with 7 minutes left, trying to use the extra attacker to help them back in the game...But Malcolm held strong, making 36 saves...Yale fired in an empty net goal to put it out of reach, and winning 4-0...

Yale had proven once again not to count out underdogs...And that they can compete with the big guns in D-1 Hockey...Great win for Yale...And great for College Hockey...But the night belonged to the birthday boy Jeff Malcolm...The heart and soul of the team...The goalie in the tourney that they didn't talk about....Looks like he's finally caught the eye of a few people...

-This weekend was my and Mrs. Beeze's 12 year anniversary...We went out Friday for a cheap date...We started out, where it all began...A little bar, with great tacos...It was where we went the first time we went out after work...It was that night that I knew she was the one...SO we had a beer and a couple tacos and the went to the movies...Going to the movies is one of her favorite things to do...We saw Olympus Has Fallen...Spoiler Alert.......It had good action...The one dude was a good ass kicker and had some good lines...But it was bullshit...And the CGI stuff looked like crap....

As we drove home, we started talking about how the time has flown by...12 years went by quick...I never imagined my life like this...And now I wouldn't consider changing it...3 kids, a house, a mini-van, coaching baseball, selling a guitar to get my daughter a clarinet...I'm still madly in love with my wife...I'm a lucky guy...Wouldn't change a thing...(but if I found a million dollars in my wallet tomorrow that wouldn't be awful)

Have a week...

The Beeze

It wasn't like most of us at the Gab (or anyone else on the planet) couldn't use their bracket picks to fire up the grill after the second round, one of my two were toast by then, but there was a select few who were able to move on and stay competitive. In the end only one could win, and I'm pleased to announce that Qwazier held on for the win. Congrats Qwazier....great job!

Funny thing about Qwazier, she's claims she knows squat about college basketball, but wins the challenge, and she claims not to be into hockey yet her Gab fantasy team was one of the toughest to beat...in what I believe is her first venture into fantasy hockey. Yeah, okay! I think we're dealing with the ultimate sandbagger here folks. I've got my eye on you...and no more hockey tips for you and Jeff anymore either. 

Hoodwood is no fan of Louisville but was glad to see Ware cutting the nets down in the Cards title win

Greetings from the Hoodwood the latest outpost of Team Jack (See Phat Dap)

Louisville wins the title

The Cards were the favorite, and they won it but not without a struggle overcoming double digit deficits in the final four against both Wichita State and Michigan in winning their third national championship and first in 27 years. The finale was a thrilling one with the Wolverines getting out of the box red hot, with all-everything guard Trey Burke on the bench heretofore little used Spike Albrecht came up big, lighting up Louisville like an electric company. The Wolverines raced out to a 12 point lead but the Cards whittled the lead to single digits but the Wolverines managed to push back into the lead at the half. The Cards were on point to start the 2^nd half and had a 14-3 run to end the 1^st and rode that momentum to the lead in the 2^nd half and despite repeated charges by the Wolverines the Cards held on to the lead and move the national championship just a piece down on I-64, west about 80 miles to Louisville. Michigan is now 1-5 in title games but its always their fate to find a hall of fame coach on the other bench. In their five title game losses the Wolverines  have lost to teams coached by John Wooden, Bobby Knight, Mike Kryzsewski, Dean Smith and now Rick Pitino…all these coaches are in the Hall of Fame.

Clippers win the Pacific finally!

Long treated as stepchildren  in the LA sports scene, the Clippers were so far down on the list that Galaxy got more pub at times than them. The Clippers were the 3^rd team in the Staples Center never really getting any love. The Lakers are the alpha dog and the Kings with their faboulous run in the 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs suddenly were getting more primetime pub, meanwhile the Clippers continue to be in the house that the Lakers built and having to look at their division rivals banners every home game and three road games as well playing the Lakers. But that’s no more, the Clippers for what its worth won their team record 51^st game and with it clinched their first Pacific Division title in the 35 years they have been on the West Coast what was even sweeter for the long downtrodden Clippers was to clinch the division that they beat their long time tormentors the Lakers on national TV to clinch. Now keep in mind the majority of the players took the win in stride, posing briefly for pics with champion T-shirts but they talk as if they want to make a deep playoff run. This is a team that has only two playoff series wins in the 30 years that they have been in LA, but they have a reason to hold their heads high as they are now off the list of teams that have never won a division title, with the neophyte Bobcats and Memphis Grizzlies (whom the Clippers beat last year in the playoffs) still looking for their first ever division title.

MLB: Bush League umpiring

There is a push for greater instant replay in MLB and after the absolute umpiring goof up last night in Arlington you have to wonder if the advocates for it have plenty of ammo. Lets set it up the Rangers Joe Nathan is trying to wriggle out of a jam against the Rays he is facing Ben Zobrist and throws this pitch. Marty Foster is the home plate ump. He calls the pitch a strike though it was way way wide and in the dirt. Nathan who notched his 300th career save was visibly seen saying "Wow!"  Rays manager Joe Maddon about had a nuclear meltdown and was very justified. Foster later told the Fort Worth Star Telegram that if he had it over again he wouldnt call that last pitch a strike...thats little comfort to the Rays who got screwed out of a chance to win a game. If I can find a video of the call Ill post it but it was horrible.

PHAT DAP/HEAD SLAP

Phat Dap

To Nebraska Football, not usually a favorite of Hoodwood but this time they really score big with me. The football team has more or less adopted Jack Hoffman a 7 year old pediatric cancer patient. Hoffman participated in the Huskers spring scrimmage and made his lone carry a memorable one.

You gotta have a hard hard heart to not either be cheering for the little guy (and compared to the Husker players he is tiny) or get misty eyed. Its so great to see Hoffman living a dream and being helped by the Husker team. Hoffman is on a 2 week break from a 60 week chemotherapy treatment. The Husker football squad led by running back Rex Burkhead have formed a support group named Team Jack and brought the young Husker fan into the scrimmage. Hoffman described the run and the crowd reaction as “Pretty awesome.” Hoffman’s treatment has been going well and the tumor that he was discovered to having had has shrunk considerably. We here in Hoodwood are a part of Team Jack and are rooting for him to run over cancer like he scored in the film.

Head Slap

To the chowderhead that told retired NBA great Spencer Haywood that he had been elected to the basketball hall of fame.  The class of 2013 was named on Monday and Haywood was told that he had been elected. Haywood then told this to a local paper. Imagine his shock and embarrassment when it was reported that he was not elected. This is to take nothing away from a very deserving class including Jerry Tarkanian, Rick Pitino, Bernard King and Dawn Staley but to do Haywood like that was just flat out wrong