For those of you tuning in for deep thoughts, Johnny Monkey is here as an emergency fill in for jefft02. Most of you probably think that Johnny Monkey only thinks about eating vegetables and wiping out injustice, but Johnny Monkey also has opinions regarding sports. Jefft02 asked me to be sure to discuss RA Dickey’s amazing start and to talk about pine tar on the mound. Johnny Monkey is a big fan of R.A. Dickey. You may wonder why Johnny Monkey is such a fan, but that is really silly. Of course Johnny Monkey digs Dickey because he throws a bad ass knuckleball. There have been many pitchers over the years that threw the knuckleball, but Dickey throws a power knuckleball. The Neikro brothers (Joe and Phil) averaged about 66 MPH or so. Dickey throws his knuckler to 80 or so. This probably explains why he has such a high strike out rate. Consider that Tim Wakefield won 16 games for the Red Sox in 1995 and averaged less than 3 strikeouts per 9 innings. Dickey is averaging 9 strikeouts per nine innings. Dickey now leads the majors in wins, ERA, WHIP, strikeouts (tied with Justin Verlander) and complete games (also tied with Verlander). Johnny Monkey must point out the most important thing about R.A. is that he has exactly zero wild pitches this year. Even a bad ass monkey like Johnny Monkey finds this to be very impressive. So, here is a tip of the banana to R.A Dickey, the first pitcher in the majors to win 11 games. Johnny Monkey wonders if Lincecum might give the knuckleball a go?

                                                                              Fear this beard and the wacky knuckle ball.

In case you did not catch the news tonight, Joel Peralta was ejected for having pine tar on his glove. Johnny Monkey knows the rules; pitchers are not allowed to add a foreign substance to the ball. Johnny Monkey knows a bit about pitching and wonders how pine tar is different than a resin bag? Pine tar is used to aid pitchers in gaining a grip on the ball when pitching. Resin is used for the same purpose. Putting resin or pine tar does not alter the flight of the ball like a bit of monkey spit. Johnny Monkey remembers an incident with George Brett (a really cool dude) a few years back. Too much pine tar was overruled by the big boss of MLB…something about “the spirit of the rule.”  Johnny Monkey thinks this is much to do about nothing…Joe Maddon has a different viewpoint. Skipper Joe called the Nationals request to check Peralta’s glove; “cowardly”. Since Peralta previously played for the Nationals, it is an easy guess that there was inside knowledge. Johnny Monkey thinks that this will not be the end of this incident.

                               Johnny Monkey's lesson today...beware playing in the sand.

For those of you that know Johnny Monkey, Johnny Monkey always tries to help his friends. A few of you may need to try Johnny Monkey’s workout. Johnny Monkey has a “friend” to show some of Johnny Monkey’s daily workout

If you do this workout each week, you can be a bad ass too. For those of you that don't think Johnny Monkey is a bad ass, Johnny Monkey offers you this:

Did you happen to see the excerpts from our friend Charlie Sheen? Apparently Charlie explains why he is a bit “different”… "If you’re special, you’re tortured. I know that sounds arrogant, but you can’t not be special and have a 30-year career. You can’t not be a little different from others and be successful for three decades. Your mind has to work a little differently than the average brain.” Johnny Monkey offers that it is obvious that Charlie’s brain works a bit differently than most! In case you have any ideas of messing with Charlie Sheen’s kids…be sure to understand his thinking on this: "I have a deal with them. They have one, maybe two chances to call me anytime, no questions asked, and I will come and get them. But if there are signs of any physical damage on their bodies, then there’s going to be gunplay involved. It’s a whole different story for whatever house they’re leaving. That s--- gets burned to the ground. Period, the end. When it comes to my kids, I don’t play around.” Okay Charlie, thanks for the warning…

This is all the time that Johnny Monkey has to visit. Johnny Monkey hopes that all of you are eating your vegetables as this is the only way to be a true bad ass monkey. Best wishes...JM