Welcome to this edition of the world according to… oldharry here with my faithful talented and opinionated sidekick. Some of you know shorty, who uses parody, sarcasm, innuendo, insult and pain to nail the heads of his adversaries to the floor.
Let’s get one thing straight, the rumors circulating that say oldharry was holed up at the Tavern for the better part of two years pacing and ranting that it was Josephine’s fault or it was France’s fault are somewhat exaggerated…just happened to be checking in and looking for my car keys…to the Rambler Classic, she just won’t start without the keys, when Mo ventured in…a total coincidence I’ve been assured…and as for the
hors d’oevres ?… perhaps another time
I’m excited to be filling in at the Gab from one of the catbird seats at the end of the bar at Mo’s.
No, it’s not the Bandits ergonomically correct high back leather stool.
Anyway, it’s a real honor…I don’t need an actual seat, as many of you know, ole shorty serves the purpose quite well.
where are the snacks? chex mix is not a snack!
It’s been a while since shorty has been seen at the Gab but he’s kept himself busy pursuing his own interests…
He worked as a diet guru after being asked to leave the Tavern with some nice gentlemen dressed in blue a couple of years back. His Atty, Jackie Chiles Esquire was able to work out a plea agreement and keep shorty on the street with just a few hours of community service. Terms of the agreement forbid shorty from telling Irish or blond jokes in public.
This past weekend saw the NCAA get down to the final four…shorty finally got around to doing his brackets on Tuesday and has been remarkably accurate…picked the final four! Shorty’s predictions for the rest of the tournament : Michigan will play Syracuse and Wichita State will take on Louisville on Saturday in Atlanta
Louisville and Michigan will square off in the finals and Michigan will take it by a score of 74-67
Prayers for Kevin Ware for a speedy and full recovery.
Major League Baseball season opened this week and fantasy baseball here at the Gab is in full swing as well,
Them Astros won the seasons first game with that AAA payroll. They looked like a triple A team vs Darvish in the second game.
Right now every team has at least an outside shot of winning it all
my Red Sox are two and oh.
Their are a few teams that are still trying the old George Steinbrenner method of buying a championship.
The most “brennerized” teams are:
#1 New York Yankees $ 228,835,000.00
#2 L A Dodgers $ 216,597,000.00
#3 Phila Phillies $ 165,385,000.00
#4 Bostahn Red Sox $ 150,655,000.00
#5 Detroit Tigers $ 148,414,000.00
And last and least, Houston Astros $ 23,000.000
I guess now is when I throw out my MLB predictions,
Atlanta will beat Detroit 4 games to 3 in the World Series some time in early November
Shorty is all about being = and doesn’t want the ankle bracelet back on so
A Brunette joke.
A young and beautiful brunette walks into her doctors office,
and says, “ doctor you have to help me, my body hurts wherever I touch it”
“That’s strange and highly unlikely, show me” . he says
At that she poked herself on the elbow and screams in agony, pokes her knee and doubles over in pain, touches her forehead and screams out again…
The doctor looks her in the eye and says, “you’re not really a brunette are you?
Between tears she says,” no I’m really a blond”.
The doctor says, “I thought so…and… your finger is broken”
NHL, the Boston Bruins traded prospects and a conditional 2nd round pick for Jaromir Jagr to beef up their struggling power play, how much the 41year old Jagr has left in the tank remains to be seen but it can’t hurt the Bruins with the small price they paid.
Jagr has been in the NHL longer than teammates Dougie Hamilton age 19 and Tyler Seguin age 21 have been alive.
The question most of us Boston guys have though is, what will Mumbles Menino, our out going Mayor, call Jaromir if the B’s win the cup.
One of my sons says Mumbles will refer to him as Mick Jagger.
With Crosby out the Penguins aren’t as strong but as we know, read NJ Devils, anything can happen in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. If you’re in you can win. The Blackhawks and Montreal will both be in the mix.
NFL, the SF 49ers have signed corner Nnamdi Asomugha for about 3 million to help or hope to shore up the secondary, also sent a late round draft pick to Cleveland for perennial back up QB Colt McCoy
And speaking of Irishmen…
There was this Irishman named O’Brien, he walked into a Boston Tavern.
The Bartender say’s to O’Brien, “what can I get you” O’Brien says,” get me three shots of your finest Irish whiskey my friend” and the bartender does.
Every day O’Brien does the same thing and after about a week the bartender says, “O’Brien, wouldn’t it be easier if I put all three shots in one glass?”
O’Brien replies, “not really, you see I have two dear brothers back in Ireland, Kevin and Timmy and whenever I’m in a bar or tavern, to remember the times when we were together, I order a shot for each of us.
A couple of weeks later O’Brien comes to the bar and orders just two shots of whiskey, the bartender, concerned that something has happened to one of O’Brien’s brothers says, “ O’Brien my friend, is everything alright back home with your brothers?” O’Brien says, “their is no problem at all, my brothers are just fine, it’s that I’ve decided it’s time I stop drinking”
I just got the Rambler back from the body shop,
You gotta admit…she’s a real lady!
Thanks for the visit and the comments.
Hey…that’s my buddy Lanz over there…and he’s talking sports ----------->