Tagged with "Pittsburgh Penguins"
Monday Moaning 6-3-13
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NHL Boston Bruins New York Rangers Jordan Kuruc John Tortorella Matt Cooke Pittsburgh Penguins Kids Chicago Blackhawks The Beeze

Ain't that the truth! Might be what the Chicago Blackhawks are saying to the LA Kings...The 'Hawks have taken a 2-0 lead on the Kings and will now head to LA to play games 3 and 4...Chicago's speed and skill has shown some weaknesses in the Kings game...And Goalie Johnathan Quick who has been so impressive through the playoffs, suddenly looks very human...I expect the Kings to take one game at home, but the way this series looks, I think it may be over in 5...That would be good for me since months ago I was saying Chicago would be in the Finals...

In the East, Boston went up 1-0 after shutting out the Penguins...Pittsburgh seem unsure of their goalies, and they got out of their own game, and tried to get physical with the Bruins...That's not a battle they're going to win...

And of course, where there is Penguins forward Matt Cooke, there is contraversy...Cooke who was a decent, player with some skill, at some point decided to be a shithead and make his career all about trying to injure people...Cooke started with knee shots...Then moved up to head shots...So when he called for this penalty Saturday, no one should have been surprised...

Yet, Penguins fans were unhappy...Odd...Later, the Bruins Brad Marchand made a similar hit on James Neal, and Boston fan didn't seem to get up in arms about the call...But it was the reaction from a Pittsburgh fan...A Pittsburgh citizen, that really caught people's attention on the internet...Meet Jordan Kuruc...


I have said some awful shit to people online...Hell, I've said awful shit to their face...But this douchebag didn't seem to get why people were so mad about this tweet...And then when he apologized, and deleted it, he expressed the reason he felt bad was because "a kid died" in the bombing...This douche just couldn't get why people turned and attacked him on Twitter...Then, come Sunday he began to enjoy the role...Saying how he "Always wanted to be a heel in the WWE."

Jordan Kuruc felt bad that "a kid died" in the Boston bombing...Imagine this Jordan...You're a little girl...Ha! he does look like a bitch...Anyways...You're there, the bomb goes off...Your brother dies...Your mother suffers severe head trauma...Oh, and you lose your leg...Just imagine that...That's just one little girl's story...Now can you get why people are pissed...You got your 15 minutes for being a total fucking asshole...

I'm a dickhead, and I wouldn't have said that about a hockey game...Especially defending a piece of shit like Cooke...I want to wish pain and suffering on Kuruc....You know, like some awful shit...Like him and everyone he loves, get AIDS....But screw it...I'll rise above...You're fucking asshole, and everyone knows it....Oh, and thanks for giving me another reason to hate you're asshole city!

In other Hockey news, The New York Rangers fired their coach, John Tortorella...His abrasive style wasn't going to last much longer, even if the Rangers did beat the Bruins...Torts had his guys, and they bought into his system, and style he wanted them to play...Those that didn't, were bounced...Yet, he still found ways to shit all over the guys he had...The only people that got more shit were the media...So, this is why you hear no one arguing against his firing...He's a good coach...But shitting all over grown men is going to get old quick...I'm surprised it took as long as did before the players had enough...

But I have another question...Why is GM, Glen Sather not on the hot-seat...He's been with the Rangers for 13 years...He's had 6 coaches...The best the team has done is getting to one conference final...Now there is talk that he is looking at two of his old boys to be the next coach...Wayne Gretzky, who's first stint as a head coach wasn't a very good one...And Mark Messier...Messier's only coaching experience is coaching his son's pee-wee team...Yes, the fans would love it...Sure, some players might get a thrill out of it...But I don't think it's a good move...This team needs a proven coach...Not a couple of old super stars who are missing the spotlight...

-As for my weekend...It was pretty uneventful...Friday I was suppose to meet some old friends out for drinks...Sadly, I fell asleep with Molls while I was trying to get her down...

Saturday we had a baseball practice...The team is coming along well...Then we relaxed at home...Pizza, hockey, and a jam session...

Little Beeze finding the Groove...

Molls was a heck of a band leader...

That's it for now...Oh, and say hello to our NEWEST member...

Have a week...

The Beeze.

Shorty and the Rambler
Category: FEATURED
Tags: SF 49ers Mo's Tavern Boston Bruins Kevin Ware NHL Pittsburgh Penguins Jaromir Jagr Tyler Seugin


Welcome to this edition of the world according to… oldharry here with my faithful talented and opinionated sidekick. Some of you know shorty, who uses parody, sarcasm, innuendo, insult and pain to nail the heads of his adversaries to the floor.


Let’s get one thing straight, the rumors circulating that say oldharry was holed up at the Tavern for the better part of two years pacing and ranting that it was Josephine’s fault or it was France’s fault are somewhat exaggerated…just happened to be checking in and looking for my car keys…to the Rambler Classic, she just won’t start without the keys, when Mo ventured in…a total coincidence I’ve been assured…and as for the

 hors d’oevres ?… perhaps another time


I’m excited to be filling in at the Gab from one of the catbird seats at the end of the bar at Mo’s.          

 No, it’s not the Bandits ergonomically correct high back leather stool.


Anyway, it’s a real honor…I don’t need an actual seat, as many of you know, ole shorty serves the purpose quite well.

 where are the snacks? chex mix is not a snack!   

It’s been a while since shorty has been seen at the Gab but he’s kept himself busy pursuing his own interests…

He worked as a diet guru after being asked to leave the Tavern with some nice gentlemen dressed in blue a couple of years back. His Atty, Jackie Chiles Esquire was able to work out a plea agreement and keep shorty on the street with just a few hours of community service. Terms of the agreement forbid shorty from telling Irish or blond jokes in public.


This past weekend saw the NCAA get down to the final four…shorty finally got around to doing his brackets on Tuesday and has been remarkably accurate…picked the final four! Shorty’s predictions for the rest of the tournament : Michigan will play Syracuse and Wichita State will take on Louisville on Saturday in Atlanta


 Louisville and Michigan will square off in the finals and Michigan will take it by a score of 74-67

Prayers for Kevin Ware for a speedy and full recovery.


Major League Baseball season opened this week and fantasy baseball here at the Gab is in full swing as well,

Them Astros won the seasons first game with that AAA payroll. They looked like a triple A team vs Darvish in the second game.


Right now every team has at least an outside shot of winning it all

my Red Sox are two and oh.

Their are a few teams that are still trying the old George Steinbrenner method of buying a championship.

The most “brennerized” teams are:


#1 New York Yankees    $ 228,835,000.00

#2 L A Dodgers              $ 216,597,000.00

#3 Phila Phillies              $ 165,385,000.00

#4 Bostahn Red Sox        $ 150,655,000.00

#5 Detroit Tigers             $ 148,414,000.00

And last and least, Houston Astros  $ 23,000.000

I guess now is when I throw out my MLB predictions,

Atlanta will beat Detroit 4 games to 3 in the World Series  some time in early November


Shorty is all about being = and doesn’t want the ankle bracelet back on so

This is:

A Brunette joke.


A young and beautiful brunette walks into her doctors office,

and says, “ doctor you have to help me, my body hurts wherever I touch it”

“That’s strange and highly unlikely, show me” . he says

At that she poked herself on the elbow and screams in agony, pokes her knee and doubles over in pain, touches her forehead and screams out again…

The doctor looks her in the eye and says, “you’re not really a brunette are you?

Between tears she says,” no I’m really a blond”.

The doctor says, “I thought so…and… your finger is broken”



NHL, the Boston Bruins traded prospects and a conditional 2nd round pick for Jaromir Jagr to beef up their struggling power play, how much the 41year old Jagr has left in the tank remains to be seen but it can’t hurt the Bruins with the small price they paid.

Jagr has been in the NHL longer than teammates Dougie Hamilton age 19 and Tyler Seguin age 21 have been alive.


The question most of us Boston guys have though is, what will Mumbles Menino, our out going Mayor, call Jaromir if the B’s win the cup.

One of my sons says Mumbles will refer to him as Mick Jagger.


With Crosby out the Penguins aren’t as strong but as we know, read NJ Devils, anything can happen in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. If you’re in you can win. The Blackhawks and Montreal will both be in the mix.


In the

NFL, the SF 49ers have signed  corner Nnamdi Asomugha for about 3 million to help or hope to shore up the secondary, also sent a late round draft pick to Cleveland for perennial back up QB Colt McCoy


And speaking of Irishmen…


There was this Irishman named O’Brien, he walked into a Boston Tavern.
The Bartender say’s to O’Brien, “what can I get you” O’Brien says,” get me three shots of your finest Irish whiskey my friend” and the bartender does.

Every day O’Brien does the same thing and after about a week the bartender says, “O’Brien, wouldn’t it be easier if I put all three shots in one glass?”

O’Brien replies, “not really, you see I have two dear brothers back in Ireland, Kevin and Timmy and whenever I’m in a bar or tavern, to remember the times when we were together, I order a shot for each of us.

A couple of weeks later O’Brien comes to the bar and orders just two shots of whiskey, the bartender, concerned that something has happened to one of O’Brien’s brothers says, “ O’Brien my friend, is everything alright back home with your brothers?” O’Brien says, “their is no problem at all, my brothers are just fine, it’s that I’ve decided it’s time I stop drinking”

I just got the Rambler back from the body shop,

You gotta admit…she’s a real lady!


Thanks for the visit and the comments.


Hey…that’s my buddy Lanz over there…and he’s talking sports ----------->

Tool of the Week - A Split Decision
Category: Daily Blog 2.0
Tags: Pittsburgh Penguins Sidney Crsoby James Harrison Pittsburgh Steelers

Last week I passed off the TOTW duties to Beeze being he’s more qualified to speak on college football than I am, I live in SEC country and couldn’t give two shits about it and from the reaction he got over his post it appears all of you feel the same way I do about the BCS and their decisions. At any rate it’s a new week and that means a new Tool or in this case two Tools.  B.O.B. tossed out what I’d been thinking were good candidates in James Harrison and Sidney Crosby, it’s only by coincidence that both of these Tools are on Pittsburgh teams, two teams which are near the top of my most hated list. Let’s start with Harrison…

Everyone knows by now about Harrison cleaning Colt McCoy’s clock last Thursday, this, just another hit in a long line of head shots Harrison has delivered over the last couple of seasons. To date Harrison has accumulated over $100k in fines from the league’s front office but this time he earned himself a suspension. I honestly thought he’d lose the rest of the season and some cash, not just one game, and here’s why: Harrison had more than enough time to go for a body shot and McCoy was clearly in the process of throwing the ball when he was moving out of the pocket, but instead of just grabbing him around the waste for the takedown Harrison put his head down and delivered a blow to McCoy’s chin sending the Brown’s QB to La La Land.

There’s been chatter by some that players need to be taught again how to deliver tackles to fall into line with the new rules implemented by the NFL, I have a hard time with that. Grown men playing a game and being handed amended rules shouldn’t need schooling in the delivery of a tackle, that just sounds ridiculous. You can’t tell me Harrison doesn’t know what he’s doing, in the last two seasons he’s had the chance to clean up what he does but he hasn’t’ demonstrated to the league that’s the case. What’s the next line of punishment for Harrison, 3 games, or 5, maybe 10? The league probably never thought it would end up having to dole out this many fines to one man but now that they’re in that position where do they go from here? Hitting this tool in the wallet hasn’t worked, maybe losing a whole season is what the doctor ordered, it’ll give him the time needed to rethink how he’ll go about stopping the opposition in the future, but in the meantime he gets to split the Golden Plunger with another Tool from Pittsburgh.

Now onto Crosby…this is the guy I hate the most in hockey, Malkin and the Pens as a whole are a close second. I guess what really burned my ass was last season when Crosby got his concussion and Mario Lemieux came out crying about how his little darling was targeted, I had to laugh as Lemieux went on and on about cheap shot artists when at the time he had the biggest villain in Matt Cooke. You see, they talk a good game in Pittsburgh but they sure can’t take what they dish out. Crosby has more than on one occasion earned the hits he has received, same with Cooke who has gone after plenty of guys and  possibly has ended the career of Marc Savard who has only played about 35 games in the last two seasons, he’s currently out for season. I’ll give you a few examples on how Crosby and the rest of his mates play the game; you tell me if Lemieux has any argument.

                                                               This was just 3 weeks ago, Crosby elbowing Nick Foligno.


                                                                                              Crosby slewfooting Ryan Callahan.

Don Cherry showing numerous cheap shots by Matt Cooke. It’s funny that we never heard Mario complaining publicly about his own guys hurting other players.

Have no sympathy for Sidney Crosby, what he is starting to get is a taste of his own medicine, same as Cooke. If you remember Hotch’s post a few weeks back where he highlighted Evander Kane then of the Atlanta Thrasher’s knocking Cooke out following a previous game where Cooke threw a cheap shot on Kane, that my friend was a thing of beauty! In situations like that you don’t forget who it was, you just wait for your opportunity to dish out the deserved retaliation. For guys like Crosby, the prima donna superstars and there really is only a select few, they expect teammates to come to their rescue regardless if they instigate the trouble or not. Most times an opponent will take all comer’s but in Crosby’s case he’s finally reaping what he’s sewn and that’s a reputation for throwing elbows, diving to get calls, slewfooting and whatever else he can do when he thinks a referee isn’t looking. There are a lot of players that seem to have had enough of the shit coming out of Pittsburgh, I know the Bruins are tired of their act and they’ve demonstrated in the last 4 or 5 meetings they won’t take any shit from Crosby, Cooke or Malkin any longer, and if they choose to go after a goalie or cheap shot a guy from behind you can expect a special delivery from Shawn Thornton or Adam McQuaid!.

Until that time comes the best I’ve got to give Ms. Sindy, Cooke and Malkin is a share of the Golden Plunger right in the chicklets!


Bill Burr On Sports (vol. 8...Bill vs. Pittsburgh)
Category: Humor
Tags: Bill Burr Pittsburgh NFL Sex Pittsburgh Steelers Sidney Crosby Pittsburgh Penguins Pittsburgh Pirates


I heard this and had to get it out there...Bill killin' like he always does...Suck it Pittsburgh!

Shit, how about a bit more...Bill on Sex...

Later, The Beeze. 


Monday Moaning (Valentine's Day edition)
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NHL NBA The Beeze Neil Young Cleveland Cleveland Cavaliers New York Islanders Pittsburgh Penguins Valentines Day Dolts

Well it's Valentine's Day...Another horse shit day to make us spend money, and say I love you to the people we should probably just say it to every day...What a bunch of crap! But yes, I got Mrs. Beeze flowers, and I got her chocolate covered strawberries...WHY? because I like to put my dick in her, so I do what needs to be done for the greater good!

Last week, after Monday's post I wasn't around at all...I just wasn't very inspired to write...I didn't care what was going on...I was tired...And honestly, there were nights that I just wanted to hang with my kids...Especially the baby...She's my favorite! She doesn't talk...She always smiles at me, and acts like I'm the cat's ass...She's my girl!

Anyway, I was trying to figure out what to write about this week...Well with all this Valentine's love in the air, I thought I'd bring the hate...People say you shouldn't hate...Well, hate is a normal, human feeling/reaction...It's as normal as masturbation! And probably a more common feeling than love...So I'm bringing some hate to your Valentine's Day!

Right now, I'm hating the 250 people I hate to cook for at The Fish House Saturday night...What a needy bunch of cunts! Who knew so many assholes had so many horseshit allergies to so many things...If you have a Shellfish Allergy, you can't eat the Lobster Bisque dummy...Hell, you probably don't want to eat at a seafood joint!

What else am I hating? The New York Islanders and Pittsburgh Penguins are always on that list, but after Friday night, I see some new candidates for the Skull Fuck Hall of Fame...Clearly the Islanders were pissed their shitty goalie got laid out with one punch a couple weeks ago, so Friday they were going to send a message...Here are some numbers from the game...17 Fighting Majors...59 Penalties...300+ Penalty Minutes...9 Game Misconducts...The Penguins ended the game with 6 skaters...The Islanders ended with 9...

Okay, I'm all for the fighting in Hockey, but this one got a bit out of control...I'm adding the refs to the Hate list, because these dolts should have known some shit was going to happen...I hate the Penguins, although in many situations the Islanders were the instigators, and taking some cheap shots...But the Pens weren't innocent...Let's go to the video...everything is included in this one...

The Islanders I have always hated thanks to my loyalty to the New York Rangers...But the shit some of those guys pulled has taken it up a notch...No wonder you're the worst team in the league...Between the dummy owner...The fuck-tard GM...The bad coach, and the hack goon-squad, you dopes don't stand a chance...

Next on my shit list...Over-positive Cleveland fan...I've beat on these people before, so why stop now? Yes, there are people trying to give the Cavaliers' record setting losing streak a positive spin..."Hey the Cavs will have a better chance at winning the Draft Lottery" SO! A better chance, big fucking shit...Draft a potential superstar, and watch him leave a few years later...AWESOME!

But worse is the Cleveland fan who wants to point out that this losing streak "doesn't define us"...No shit ass-hat! I don't play basketball, let alone for that shit team...Basketball and the Cavaliers come no where near close to defining me...No silly sports team does...And if you are concerned with talking-heads in the media using sports teams to define you as a person or your city, well dummy, you are their target audience...

Lastly, I'm going to hate Neil Young...This one hurts a bit because I always liked Neil Young...But then I heard a newer song of his..."Angry World"...Well if wasn't already a "angry world" before, it is now after hearing this shit...

Didn't Neil write, "It's better to burn out, then to fade away"...Well I have to say, Neil, You've burned out, and I wish you would have faded away...What a steaming pile of shit!

Now, I'm getting out of here...If you don't recall, the Mrs. and I had a deal based on her performing oral favors, and well, she's built up a back-log...

Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.


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