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As a new year squirts out Father Time's loins, an old relic gets dug up out of desperation. The 2010 regular season of the NFL concludes on Sunday, a perfect time to lament and cherish it with some POINTLESS PONDERING that lovingly holds and nurtures life the same way Lorena Bobbitt did with her husbands manhood.
Last week we heard Terrell Owens, a resident NFL psycho, do his annual Adolph Hitler impression where he blamed everyone but himself for the woes of the Cincinnati Bengals. He had been to busy mentoring Chad Ocho Cinco on a weekly television show that probably carries an audience of less than 100.
Owens decided to tell everyone he gave up because everyone around him is inferior. His peon came out this week saying the same thing. While the Bengals might be the biggest disappointment of the 2010 season, winning four games a year after winning the division, it really is amazing no one saw this coming if they claim they had not.
Their season was doomed the day they signed Owens to a contract. Cincinnati already had been dealing with the boorish stupidity of Ocho Cinco, a drama queen who once punched a coach in the face during halftime of a game, but signing Owens just said they preferred to lose by singing this loser. T.O. is easily the biggest idiot the NFL has seen the last decade.
Marvin Lewis should lose his job on this decision alone, gambling two clubhouse cancers were going to play well as a duo instead of tap dancing on a bunch of lies and monikers as they led the team to losses. Not only did this decision kill that special bond the locker room shared last season, but it destroyed the offense on the field too.
Carson Palmer is the quarterback who seems to have lost 65% of his arm strength over an arm injury a few years ago. He also has a roller coaster relationship with Ocho Cinco, and he certainly saw Owens call quarterbacks losers, homosexuals, and other pearls from his lunatic wisdom. He wrongly decided to look for harmony by force feeding the two big mouthed geezers at the expense of the offense's flow.
While the demonic duo did grab 139 passes and 13 scores, neither averaged more than 13 yards per catch. The inability to stretch the defense was probably more frustrating to the aging egomaniacs than the team losing weekly. The best passing weapons the team had, two rookies, took a back seat all year and halfback Cedric Benson was not as effective as last year due to less touches per game in order to appease a pair of over the hill psychopaths.
While they probably keep Ocho Cinco, cutting Owens is much needed. Cincinnati scored a season high 34 points last week mostly because the old receivers sat on the bench, proving they are probably a better team without either player.
Was anyone really shocked that Roger Goodell yet again defiled the NFL last week? Who didn't see it coming? He tried to claim there was no proof that Brett Favre harassed anyone, and tried to compare it to sexual harassment at the workplace. Of course he had this view, because Goodell grew up in an ivory tower his Senator dad provided and never left. He's never had to work a day in his life, and further alienates the working man by showing how soft in the head he is too.
If anyone at any other work place had texted a female coworker pictures of him exposing himself and masturbating in between of demands for sex "because I'm Brett Favre dammit", they would have been immediately suspended or fired. Even if a few weeks away from collecting a gold watch at a retirement home like Favre is.
Not in Roger Goodell's NFL, a league now committed to castrating defenses, performing fellatio on quarterbacks, pretending to care about player safety to get a players agreement contract signed, and spitting on the legacy of a league that has meant so much to millions of people. Knowing Favre was finally retiring after this season, Goodell purposely dragged his heels under the guise of mulling over the obvious facts.
The reality is that Favre was given a pass because of fear from Goodell for a guy who has made the NFL lots of money and has some media outlets in his pocket. If a sweaty lineman had done any of the things Favre did, he would have met immediate suspension. Knowing the drama queen Goodell is, it most likely would have been a lifetime ban so the commissioner could flex his fake, flabby muscles while proclaiming he was keeping the NFL free of scum bags.
Yet he left his favorite scumbag alone. Who knows what other women he has harassed since, or still may be? Women in the age area of his daughters. Who really knows how vile and despicable Favre is because Goodell and Favre's media buddies will never report it.
Yes, it is good that Brett Favre is finally gone. As predicted, he ended his career like Y.A. Tittle and other Hall of Fame quarterbacks on the field by playing one too many seasons. Yet he found a new niche for himself along the way. Long known as a selfish man, he went overboard this year and even had his own agent tired of the act. He might go into Canton with little said about how poorly his career ended both on and off the field, but many hope his victim steals some of that thunder by taking Favre to civil court.
Long the headline grabber for all of the wrong reasons, it would be fitting karma to see him experience some negativity at the apex of his career.
Most NFL fans like to predict how a season will go before it starts, and yours truly is not any different. I did quite poorly, but decided to pay the piper by reviewing things.
1. Dallas Cowboys
Dallas decided to start their season ignoring the run play on offense, and it bit them hard. The defense looked old and overmatched often too. After firing head coach Wade Phillips as the scapegoat, offensive coordinator Jason Garrett finally decided to run the ball. Too late. Hopefully owner Jerry Jones gets a better coach than Garrett in 2011.
2. Philadelphia Eagles
Philly won the NFC East with some players they knew what to expect from and one that shocked them. Instead of Kevin Kolb leading the charge at quarterback, Michael Vick had the best year of his career and could very well win NFL Comeback Player of the Year as well.
3. New York Giants
The Giants are a strange bunch. After a poor start to their season, many were calling for the firing of head coach Tom Coughlin. This was retracted after the Jints went on a winning tear and led the division. They are playing poorly again now, so Coughlin has his back to the wall once more.
4. Washington Redskins
The team is a mess, as well as the oldest in the NFL. Mike Shanahan will need time to prove what is the method behind his madness. Washington appears to be many years away from being consistently competitive again.
NFC North
1. Green Bay Packers
Losing halfback Ryan Grant was a crushing blow, but the team lost loads of players and somehow stayed in the playoff hunt. Good defense can take a team a long way, and the Packers have one of the best in the league despite losing so many valuable players. Probably the best work defensive coordinator Dom Capers has done in his fine career.
2. Minnesota Vikings
Pat Williams came back to this? Too bad the fine defensive tackle retires on such a sour note as the Vikings are a loss away from last place. Let the rebuilding on this old team begin immediately.
3. Detroit Lions
I said the Lions would improve and win five games this year. Detroit goes for six on a very winnable game Sunday. It is obvious how good the kids have gotten, and no one should be shocked if they are in the playoff hunt in 2011.
4. Chicago Bears
I wasn't a fan of the Bears blockers, receivers, except Johnny Knox, and defensive backs. While blocking is still an issue, receivers like Devin Hester have improved. The defensive secondary has done a decent job, but that is mostly thanks to a ferocious pass rush.
Defensive ends Julius Peppers, who should get several votes for NFL Defensive Player of the Year, and Israel Idonije have nearly identical numbers in sacks and tackles. This pair of 6'7" monsters give Chicago a luxury few have.
NFC South
1. New Orleans Saints
Defending an NFL title is hard, but the Saints have done a great job so far. No one wants to face them in the playoffs.
2. Atlanta Falcons
Atlanta has been a nice story in 2010, holding the best record for several weeks. They are a smart bunch who hit you with a well balanced attack.
3. Carolina Panthers
Even worse than I thought, this team needs to draft great the next few years. Some think they want quarterback Andrew Luck, showing how much faith they have on the current group of signal callers that they employ.
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Every season has a "Cinderella Team". Tampa Bay was just that for the NFC. Young quarterback Josh Freeman has Bucs fans excited about the future, and the kid does seem to have a knack on how to win already.
NFC West
1. San Francisco 49ers
Head Coach Mike Singletary was fired a few days ago because the Niners are in last place. He didn't draft quarterback Alex Smith, but that is a big part of the reason Singletary is gone.
2. Arizona Cardinals
I thought Derek Anderson would experience a rebirth with a fine group of Cardinals receivers, showing his 2007 Pro Bowl form. He was lousy, being benched by a pair of rookies throughout the year. The only question left for Arizona is if to blow up the roster and rebuild or try one more time to duplicate their 2009 magic.
3. Seattle Seahawks
Give Seattle credit, even if they play in the lousy NFL West. No one could have seen them get so close to making the playoffs. Pete Carroll deserves a few votes for Coach of the Year.
4. Saint Louis Rams
They might win the division with seven wins, but it still counts big for a franchise that won three total games the previous two seasons. The reason for the improvement has been defense.
AFC East
1. New England Patriots
Many saw this coming.
2. New York Jets
The Jets still are alive in their quest to support all that Super Bowl talk.
3. Miami Dolphins
Quarterback Chad Henne has a rough year, so some now wonder if he is the future. But they need a young running back now that Ricky Williams retires after Sunday.
4. Buffalo Bills
The team played well for a month, but they appear to be many years away from playing well for a longer period of time.
AFC North
1. Baltimore Ravens
The Ravens are tied for first place in spite of erratic play from quarterback Joe Flacco.
2. Cincinnati Bengals
The Bengals prefer to being the Bungles. What a disastrous season they had in 2010.
3. Pittsburgh Steelers
Overcoming a four game suspension of the starting quarterback to begin the year, Pittsburgh is in first place with a lot of help from an excellent defense.
4. Cleveland Browns
It appears Eric Mangini's final day as a head coach in the NFL is this Sunday.
AFC South
1. Indianapolis Colts
How Peyton Manning made this happen after a bunch of injuries was excellent. Maybe one of his finest accomplishments ever.
2. Houston Texans
A very disappointing Season that could cost head coach Gary Kubiak his job. Their best story was halfback Arian Foster.
3. Tennessee Titans
Halfback Chris Johnson did not duplicate last years performance, but Vince Young had a lot to do with that by quitting on the team again. Big changes are needed in Tennessee, but getting a franchise quarterback may prove difficult.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars
One the best stories in 2010 for the NFL, thanks to the MVP caliber play of halfback Maurice Jones-Drew. It probably saved the job of head coach Jack Del Rio for at least one more season.
1. San Diego Chargers
A miserable head start to their season, combined with holdouts and having a horrible head coach, did the Bolts in early. They need to get a coach interested in getting his players be their best.
2. Oakland Raiders
Oakland improved on offense, but were held back by a bad head coach.
3. Denver Broncos
They had a really bad season. It led to the firing of the head coach. There were a few bright spots with the play of wide receiver Brandon Lloyd, a leading candidate for Comeback Player of the Year, and quarterback Kyle Orton.
4. Kansas City Chiefs
Good running back performance, as well as excellent blocking, led the Chiefs to a AFC West crown this season. Their quarterback, Matt Cassell, did not turn over the ball much, and the defense was led by a young and exciting secondary.
This team was not only the Cinderella of 2010, but one of the best stories all year too.
Super Bowl XLV
Baltimore @ Green Bay
Most Valuable Player : Tom Brady, New England Patriots
- Who else will win this? Maurice Jones-Drew is worthy and Michael Vick might get a few votes, but Brady should have this.
Offensive Player of the Year : Adrian Peterson, Minnesota
- Peterson surely had a year worthy of winning, but his team lost too much and AP still fumbles too often. He might get a few votes.
Defensive Player of the Year : Patrick Willis, San Francisco - With 128 tackles, six sacks, and two forced fumbles, Willis was great this year. Julius Peppers and Clay Matthews III should get more votes than him.
Offensive Rookie of the Year : Jermaine Gresham, Cincinnati
- Gresham caught over 50 balls and has a bright future. Quarterback Sam Bradford might get it if the Rams win their division. Redskins receiver Anthony Armstrong came out of nowhere to average almost 19 yards on 42 receptions, but is a dark horse at best.
Defensive Rookie of the Year : Ndamukong Suh, Detroit Lions
- The clear winner. Third on his team in tackles, his nine sacks leads all rookies. He is a huge reason the Lions are much improved.
Coach of the Year : Mike McCarthy, Green Bay Packers
- He will get a lot of votes for keeping his team in the playoff hunt despite massive amounts of injuries to his roster. He did a great job.
Week 17 Picks :
Miami Dolphins @ New England Patriots
New England wants to keep momentum while getting out healthy. Tom Brady might wrap up his MVP trophy here.
Patriots 31 Dolphins 20
Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions
Detroit might win their sixth game Sunday, a feat not all expected because of recent struggles of the past. They will play hard, no matter what the outcome is.
Lions 24 Vikings 20
Cincinnati Bengals @ Baltimore Ravens
If the Ravens want to win their division and get a first-round bye in the playoffs, they must win this game first before hoping for help. Marvin Lewis might be coaching his last game with the Bengals.
Ravens 28 Bengals 20
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ New Orleans Saints
The Bucs had a surprising season, and you just get the feeling they will give it all they got Sunday. The Saints need this if they are to have a shot at home-field advantage in the playoffs.
Saints 27 Buccaneers 20
Buffalo Bills @ New York Jets
Buffalo can't wait to go home and the Jets will play hard.
Jets 24 Bills 10
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cleveland Browns
Mike Holmgren didn't hire Eric Mangini, but he will fire him after Sunday.
Steelers 27 Browns 17
Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs
Kansas City wants to get out this game healthy. Tom Cable's career as a NFL head coach should end Sunday.
Raiders 16 Chiefs 13
Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons
Carolina goes into this knowing head coach John Fox is fired, but they axed their 2010 season long ago.
Falcons 34 Panthers 10
Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers
Game of the Week
Chicago already owns the NFC North crown this season, as well as having obtained a bye in the playoffs. Green Bay would need a lot of help to sneak into the playoffs if they lose, but go in with a win. This is the oldest rivalry in the NFL, and the Bears would love to out Green Bay just so they don't face them again until next year.
While Green Bay has no running game, they are dangerous with an excellent defense and a passing game that can be explosive. While Chicago has nothing to play for here, it is hard to see Lovie Smith having them lie down. The Bears head coach would love to keep their winning momentum going.
Packers 23 Bears 21
Arizona Cardinals @ San Francisco 49ers
The loser of this one owns sole possession of last place in the NFL West.
Cardinals 27 49ers 21
San Diego Chargers @ Denver Broncos
Hopefully the Chargers players lay down on this one since neither team is playing for anything. Denver fired their head coach, something San Diego should have done two years ago. The players could send a strong message upstairs by laying an egg here. Only Norv Turner would lose leading a team in the top-five on both offense and defense in the NFL. Plus, it adds to the Tim Tebow legacy that has grown so quickly the past few weeks.
Broncos 27 Chargers 24
Tennessee Titans @ Indianapolis Colts
Jim Caldwell deserves some Coach of the Year votes. His team is about to win their division despite not being very good. It helps, of course, to have Peyton Manning constantly bailing out a very leaky ship.
Colts 31 Titans 17
Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles
Kevin Kolb started 2010 as the Eagles starting quarterback, yet his finishing the year as one was not quite the journey he had in mind. He will show he is one the best backups in the league today, cementing the idea Philadelphia needs him on their roster next season.
Eagles 34 Cowboys 20
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Houston Texans
Jacksonville had a season that probably saved the career of head coach Jack Del Rio and their franchise by selling out all home games. They should finish 2010 strong.
Jaguars 30 Texans 24
New York Giants @ Washington Redskins
Washington might be trying to look at the positives of benching Donovan McNabb for Rex Grossman last week, yet it should be noted the Redskins played a team that has struggled on defense all year. The Giants, who really need this win, are a truer test of the abilities of Grossman.
Giants 37 Redskins 16
Saint Louis Rams @ Seattle Seahawks
Real simple : winner takes the NFC West crown. You know Seahawks fans will be pumped for their surprising team, so the young Rams defense needs to win this so halfback Steven Jackson can attack the third worst defense in the NFL with frequent touches.
Rams 23 Seahawks 20
Power Rankings
1. Patriots
2. Steelers
3. Falcons
4. Eagles
5. Ravens
6. Saints
7. Bears
8. Giants
9. Jets
10. Packers
11. Chiefs
12. Colts
13. Jaguars
14. Chargers
15. Buccaneers
16. Rams
17. Seahawks
18. Dolphins
19. Raiders
20. Redskins
21. Texans
22. Browns
23. Cowboys
24. Vikings
25. Titans
26. Lions
27. Bengals
28. Bills
29. Broncos
30. 49ers
31. Cardinals
32. Panthers
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