Yeah, Kate Upton, you can milk me! How we love the Sports Illustrated cover girl...Don't worry, there will be more of her later...But first, we have to talk about Basketball...
Basketball!?! WTF!?! On my blog!?! Are we in some kind of alternate universe? Well, just for a few minutes...
First, this Jeremy Lin bullshit...It's pretty sad how quickly the media (ESPN especially) jumps all over a story...The hype machine gets rolling, and you better look out...I'm shocked that Tim Tebow hasn't been given credit for teaching Lin everything he knows...But seriously, why are people acting like he is the second coming of Magic Johnson? Dude had 54 turnovers in 17 games...What the fuck is that...It sure as fuck isn't great!
And then there was this...
I'm sorry, but people also need to calm down with the politically correct bullshit too..."Chink in his armor" isn't about his Asian background...It's a common phrase...And most likely, this ESPN dolt wasn't thinking about race when he asked Walt Frazier the question...Poor bastard got suspended 30 days...I'm sorry if I offend, but not really...But people are to fucking sensitive...Anymore people have it in their head that it's against the law for them to be offended...Like it's in the Bill of Rights that no man/woman should ever be offended...Guess what, it's not...Fuck yourself!
Sorry, about that...Little Beeze dropped the silverware rack down the stairs...
Then, there was this fucking LeBron James story...I thought it was just going to make noise in Cleveland, but no...It spread all over...He said he'd be open to coming back to Cleveland...Bo, people could stop talking about this horse shit...Personally, I hate basketball, so I don't care what he does...I wouldn't care if he got AIDS, and Magic Johnson wouldn't give him the cure!
Check that shit out, two Magic Johnson lines in one post!
If I'm the Heat, or one of there 72 loyal fans I'm pissed...This guy got the Miami hype machine going crazy, then shit the bed in the Finals...It's been a year and a half in Miami and he's realizing he doesn't like being the bad guy...He's realizing how good he had it when all of Cleveland (except for me) was swinging from his nuts...Well fuck you dummy! And all the dopes in Cleveland saying they would like to have him come back, fuck you too...He did so much last time, that you burned your LeBron jerseys!
Then there is the now dead sport of boxing...Saturday night there was a Heavy Weight Title Fight...Did you know that? Of course not...There hasn't been a good heavy weight fight since Tyson was chomping on Holyfield's ear!
One of the Klitchko boys beat the crap out of a nobody named Dereck Chisora...At the post fight press conference, some other nobody named David Haye starts popping off to Chisora...
Yeah, he doesn't want the guy that won the fight...He wants the joke that got his ass handed to him...Well Boxing once you have guys pulling WWE shit, you know it's over...
It's really sad to see the once great sport of boxing dying off...I remember my dad coming home with two sets of gloves, and teaching my brothers and I about it...I remember watching countless great fights on TV...I remember boxing so fondly, and now it's joke...
But if you want to see some good fights, check out a Hockey game...
That's all I've got right now...Well, except a little more Kate...
Of all the "Super Bowl" commercials, this one seems to be getting the most attention...I get the point of the pro-America, we can dust ourselves off, and turn this shit around...That's great...But I also have a couple issues with this bullshit...(Of course I do!)
One, the people all in love with Clint Eastwood, and saying things like, "He should be President." Wake the fuck up dummies...He didn't write those words...He just rattled them for a nice paycheck...So poor bastard wrote that and won't ever get any credit for it...
Two, The commercial was for Dodge and Chrysler...The same Dodge and Crysler us tax payers bailed out...A 30 second "Super Bowl" spot cost $3.5 million...This thing was 2 minutes long...$14 million dollars for a commercial...No wonder they needed a billion dollars from us...
Look I was against all the bailouts...As a matter of fact, so was Clint Eastwood...He was actually somewhat outspoken about it...So there's another reason for him and his commercial to go fuck off! I thought America was about Capitalism...If a business goes in the tank, then tough shit, I thought...If The Fish House was going under, big Brother wouldn't step in, rip money from Joe taxpayer to save us...It would just be game over...All these politicians talk of their love for small businesses, but they let them go under every day...The 'burb I grew up in is filled with empty store front, after empty store front...No bailouts for them...Just the big boys...
And before my Republican friends pounce on President Obama for the bailout...President Bush had a couple of his own...So fuck off with that noise...
So while everyone is pumped over this ad, I can't be...It's just a big pile of steaming bullshit...Bought and paid for with the taxpayers dollars, by a company that was to dumb and narrow sighted to change how they did things...And paying $14 million for a commercial makes it look like they're on the same old path...
It's Halftime in a America, we're taking your money, and laughing all the way to bank, suckers!
The Boston Bruins went to the White House to meet the President, as all Championship teams do...But Tim Thomas decided to decline the invite saying...
“I believe the Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties, and Property of the People. This is being done at the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial level. This is in direct opposition to the Constitution and the Founding Fathers [ sic ] vision for the Federal government. Because I believe this, today I exercised my right as a Free Citizen, and did not visit the White House. This was not about politics or party, as in my opinion both parties are responsible for the situation we are in as a country. This was about a choice I had to make as an INDIVIDUAL.”
Umm, maybe Tim Thomas needs to go back to the University of Vermont and take a History class...People love to use The Constitution and The Founding Fathers as their reason for their beliefs...Let's take a look back at those Founding Fathers and their out-dated Constitution...They were all, un-elected, land owning, (raped the Native Americans of their land...Happy Thanksgiving! ) slave owning, white guys, who didn't allow women to vote...Didn't allow Indians to vote...Didn't allow Blacks to vote...Their Constitution considered Blacks to be three-fifths of a man...So right out of the gate Tim Thomas, using the Founding Fathers line makes you look like a dolt!
And the Founding Fathers' original vision, I would venture to say didn't include, roads, bridges, and railroads all over the entire country, going over, around, and through mountains...Crossing major bodies of water, and rivers...Or keeping up with the ever growing population, and their waste...And educating that population as well...
But I shouldn't be surprised...Often when people come into money, they become more anti-government, and anti-taxes...As Thomas has not been making his millions for very long...Hell, I'm broke, and I'm not a fan of the government, or taxes, but I understand they have a role, and that taxes are needed to take care of things...Thomas seems like one of those dopes that said, "Keep your damn hands off my medicare!" Never mind that medicare is funded by our taxes !
How about this then...Take your own trash to the dump...Plow your streets yourself...Repave those roads and fix those bridges yourself...Teach your own kids how to read and write and count...Just start with that, Mr. INDIVIDUAL, and tell me if you don't want government around...
Yes, Tim Thomas has every right not to attend...He said this was not about politics as he made it about politics...But the classy thing would have been showing a bit of respect for the Office of the President...No matter who is in there, that's the classy thing to do...
And in case you missed my point, The Founding Fathers were assholes!
So, Friday night I wrote about being in a SLUMP...Well thankfully this weekend brought plenty to write about...Starting with the Patriots moving onto the "Super Bowl" after beating the Baltimore Ravens 23-20...It was a pretty good game, but it was clear that Tom Brady didn't look right/comfortable all day...And as for Joe Flacco, he didn't look awful, and I'd like to see him tell Ed Reed to shut the fuck up, and don't bite on the play-action...If Ed Reed watched some tape, he'd see that Flacco's shitty receivers hardly ever get separation from the coverage...I'm so happy the Ravens lost!
They had their chances...But the Patriots defense, which has had people shit on them all year, knuckled up at times...And then with 15 seconds left, the Ravens trot out their kicker Billy Cundiff to tie it up...Poor bastard went all Scott Norwood! And after the game, he gave Patriots fan a high-five!
Then there was the 49ers and Giants...Two teams playing really good defense...Two offenses who grind it out...These two teams went at it back and forth and punch for punch...So much so, they had to take it to overtime...And as the Patriots can thank Billy Cundiff, the Giants can thank San Fran return man Kyle Williams, who was a fumble machine, setting up the Giants game winning field goal...
Now we have two weeks of over-hyping the "Super Bowl"...And my wife, born in Boston, will actually be watching the game.......For the commercials!
-The other BIG story in the sports world...Joe Paterno died early Sunday morning...When I saw that he was near death Saturday night, I won't lie...I had spent the entire day in bed sleeping, or on the crapper with the green apple splatters...The Flu had struck me at 2:00AM and was kicking my ass...But the news of Paterno's failing health brought a smile to my face...The only thing that would have been better is if they would have found him dead, with Jerry Sandusky's cock in his mouth, and a shotgun in Sandusky's mouth...Yeah, let that visual soak in for a minute....Fucking scumbags!
Of course Twitter was buzzing when the word came down that Paterno died...And Opie from the O&A Show never fails to smack people in the face with a solid dose of honesty, tweeting this...
"What an insult! Penn State having a MOMENT OF SILENCE for Joe Paterno. That's what got him in trouble in the first place!"
After taking some shit from some dolts, he came back with this...
"So strange how many people are sticking up for Joe Paterno seeing how Joe didn't stick up for innocent children. #GetHelp"
After more bullshit from dolts he said this...
"Maybe the haters are right saying it's too soon for Joe Paterno jokes. I guess I'll be like Joe Pa and wait 10 years. #ZingZangZoom"
I'm all in with Opie...These people trying to blow off the evil shit that went on at Penn State, while Paterno was suppose to be the all knowing, all powerful, perfect example of class and ethics, are fucking insane...The man deserves no moment of silence, no honor, no tribute of any kind...He let the worst type of predator run lose for more then decade, and he let him use Penn State University to help catch his victims...When Sandusky finally does die, Paterno will be waiting for him in hell!
-As I said, after dealing with two sick kids last week, it finally struck me...The wife kept the kids out of my hair, and besides crapping and sleeping, I watched the New York Rangers beat the Boston Bruins in overtime Saturday...It was everything that is great about hockey...Hard-nosed play...Both teams blocking shots, killing penalties, skating hard, hitting hard, and taking desperation shots to win it in OT...I know I speaking to a minority, but people, forget about that basketball garbage...Check out some hockey, it'll be good for ya!
-Friday night before I got sick, the wife and I had some quality time...A few minutes afterwards, she burped and said, "My burp tastes like your cum." That has nothing to do with anything, but I just thought I'd embarrass the Mrs...Maybe that explains why she had a minor case of the splatters Sunday!
-Sunday afternoon I was doing somewhat better, so I shoveled the driveway...Yes, it snowed Friday night, and the local news stations acted like this was some shocking, event...It's January in Cleveland, can we stop getting so worked up when it snows!
So after the shoveling, I took the Little Beeze sledding...there's a great hill near our house, just don't go there late at night, because some queen will be looking to pick you up for a rear-end fondue!
It was like a Norman Rockwell Winter scene...Well, a Rockwell scene with blood, tears, and compound fractures...Kids just flying down the hill, wiping other kids out...Some ass-hat adult wiped out Little Beeze and four other kids...I ran down to check on him, and the guy was handing him his sled, and the douche said, "He got drilled pretty good." I said, "No, shit asshole, you drilled him!" He asked if there was a problem, and I said, "No, just show me your kid, And I'll spend the rest of the day aiming for him!" He walked away, and I didn't see him again...
The boy loves when get geared up for a fight...Then he took his energy back on the hill...He wasted a couple of teen age girls, as he clipped on in the back of the legs and flipped her, he ran over her friends head...Bitch shouldn't have been laying there!
Yes, I've been in a writing slump...So this is me trying to write my way out of it...My Monday Post did great numbers, but I wasn't happy with what I wrote...It was carried by the two pics in it, and the quality Bill Burr rant, and closed with the cute video of my baby girl dancing...The writing in between was filler...I apologize for that...
So why the slump...It started a couple weeks ago...I got some news that an old friend had passed...The how is still sketchy, but which ever way it happened, it crushed me...Not because we were close...We hadn't been in a long time...We were very close for a couple years in our youth...But over time we lost track of each other...Now I really wished we hadn't...I keep thinking, if I would have kept in touch, maybe this wouldn't have happened...The whole thing just rattled me...So, I've never been one to make a "New Year's Resolution" but I am now...I'm going to try my best to be a better friend...(No I can't lend you any money!)
Then last Saturday night I was out with some old friends from high school...We were having a blast...One guy, who was a Senior when I was a Freshman, who had taken me under his wing, showed up...I knew him well, because he was friends with my brother, and I think that's why he looked out for me right away...He was always smart, loud, obnoxious, and slightly douchey...That's why we liked him! Well, he walked into the pub, and holy fuck it got loud and obnoxious in there...And yes, slightly douchey, as he was wearing one brown shoe, and one tennis shoe...Almost 40, and he's totally the same!
The guy he rolled in with was always a funny son of a bitch...He was still funny, but the poor bastard's wife must not be...She started ringing his phone constantly, giving him shit for being out, and having some fun...Heaven forbid he see some people he hasn't seen in years...
Yeah, some of these people I hadn't seen in 12-15 years...So it's always good to break the ice with a story about paying a hooker years ago for a BLUMPY...Some people were shocked...Some were grossed out...Some were happy to see I hadn't changed either!
Of course we passed around our cell phones, and checked out each others kids...When you're in high school, you never think about being in a bar almost twenty years later with the same people, and talking about your kids...And Blumpies!
Then my phone rang...The little Beeze was puking...The wife was equipped to deal with that, and the baby, who was still awake, because she only goes to sleep for me...So I knocked back a water, cleaned the snow off my car, and got home...Yeah, I had some beers and drove...Don't get high and mighty...Most of us have done it...I'm not promoting it, it's just reality...I don't bullshit on this blog, and I'm not starting now...
So the boy was puking for a couple days...Then just as he was getting better, the baby got it...She's not a good puker...She fights it...Ends up choking herself...It's a battle...The boy, shit he just opens his mouth and lets it fly...So my little girl seemed to get over it in a day...But then it came back a couple days later...A little more puke city...I've been steam cleaning like a mother fucker...The wife and I have been pounding out laundry non-stop...And I'm just tired as fuck...The other night I slept sitting up, holding the baby because she just felt crappy and couldn't relax...It was a long couple nights, but she's okay now...
The wife and I had some quality time, and everyone is resting peacefully...Now I'm going to do the same...I hope this gets me back on track...
