As proprietor of the wildly popular Mo’s Tavern, I have recently come into some money – seems those old “Duffs At Mo’s 2008” t-shirts I had in the basement have become something of a collectors item.  Being the wise businessman I am, I’ve reinvested the windfall back into the business.  Opening this week is the beer delivery via drone.  Now, with this massive reinvestment in commercializing military technology, it does mean there will be a slight price increase – what with the sequester of military funding and all – but I’m sure $53 Fred Lites won’t dramatically affect business.  And hell, it turns out beer is a health food, so there's no reason not to enjoy!  

Now, let me just put to rest the rumor that due to all my financial success that I was the target of Crystal, the seductress, who pilfered $96-lerge from a guy after seducing and drugging him.  I will admit that some chick borrowed $30 from me once and never gave it back...I guess she would be Crystal Light. [click here] (an homage to Larry Nutball)

The Atlanta Falcons have proposed a $1-Billion stadium complete with seats that resonate with hits on the field.  The Falcons.  Say that to yourself again – The Falcons…$1-Billion stadium.  Sunk in yet?   The Falcons.  The idea is to “lure back NFL fans who prefer to watch the game on television.  ”  You know what would lure fans to the stadium WITHOUT spending $1-Billion?  Fielding a good team.  That’s really all that’s required.  Make the pricing affordable, the concessions reasonable, and the on-field product good.  The one time Atlanta has been at the center of a world class event – the 1996 Olympics – we remember the bombing, not the sports.  I mean, Turner Field remains, but the artifacts of the games are barely recognizable.  This is a city that sees itself as world class, but no way to draw people in – this is a means to do that.  Let’s face it, “The World of Coca Cola” isn’t really enough to bring in the crowds. 

Seems to me, though, this idea comes at a pretty steep price.  You’re not getting a World Cup.  You MAY get a Super Bowl, but let’s ask Jacksonville how well the Super Bowl thing worked out.   I guess I’m just having a hard time seeing how building this thing helps the NFL – I can see it now, give it a few years and it’ll be the home of the Georgia Bulldogs, and be as high tech as the Game Cube. 

I complain about stuff like this all the time – no less than 50% of the time I’m demonstrably wrong.  I thought the “Winter Classic” was a stunt and a stupid idea.  I was wrong.  I thought the Royals signing Zach Grinke was a bad idea.  The Red Sox were going to suck in 2013.   I was wrong.  I’m pretty sure I’m not wrong about this.  Here’s what’s really happening.  Fulton County is ponying up some $200-Million in hotel taxes to fund the place – the architects are presenting their most lavish plan, let everyone use that $1-Billion as their psychological anchor point, and then they’ll come down to a less-unreasonable vision that people will feel like they got a bargain for.  It’s a giant game, especially considering the Georgia Dome is really still viable – it’s just not world class.

Since I’ve touched on the Olympics – if only in passing – I’m here to begin petitioning for a coffee spilling event.  I would be the reigning world champion – quite possibly there wouldn’t be another country able to field a team that could compete with me.  I’m the best at what I do, baby.  Olympic gold for spilling coffee.  It would seem that if the FDA has it's way, however, those of us who exist solely to ingest caffeine are seeing the resurrection of an attack on our favorite chemical - meaning of course, there will be no Olympic competition, and this makes me sad.

We move from the debacle of coffee spills and outlandish stadium designs to a far more happy controversy.  I say it’s happy because, frankly, it’s a time honored controversy.  We’re not talking steroids, we’re not talking ownership debasing the game.  We’re talking whether Clay Bucholtz is illegally doctoring the baseball: is he throwing spitballs?  In the time honored tradition of Gaylord Perry, it seems Mr Bucholtz has been called out.  The real issue here is this little nugget buried in the linked article: “in the year after he posted a 4.56 ERA without a stain on his sleeve he has an MLB-best 1.01 ERA and is throwing the baseball better than anybody in the major leagues.”  Now there could be more than one reason for that – not the least of which is his previous pitching coach is now the manager, but let’s face facts: there’s something fishy going on and it’s not a coincidence it was in Toronto where he was called out.  Underperforming AL East Opponents?  Yeah, it’s the spitballs that are causing that 10-20 start. 

I'm off to go tend to my beer drones.  Belly up to the drone!  Beer is healthy!  

What's left to say?

In many ways, Spring Training is like a breaking down, brightening up the night that is the bleak winter months. It signals the coming of baseball and a summer full records, pennants, and underdogs.

With just two weeks remaining in Spring Training, the reality of the regular season is upon us and we begin to look forward to Opening Day. However, there is still the matter of some housekeeping to be done before spring can officially give way to the boys of summer.

- The Cincinnati Reds are apparently not ready to make a decision on Aroldis Chapman's role just yet. Mark Sheldon at MLB.com is reporting that despite Chapman's desire to continue closing, the club is still considering moving the fireballer to the starting rotation. The team will have to decide soon on how to deploy him, as Chapman's role directly impacts Mike Leake as a candidate for the rotation and Jonathan Broxton at the closer role. Broxton was inked to a 3-year, $21 million deal this winter to hold down the 9th.

- The Los Angeles Dodgers has a big hole at shortstop, not that Hanley Ramirez will be out of action for the first two months with a torn ligament in his right thumb. Ramirez was injured while playing for the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic final after diving for a ball. Dee Gordon seems to be the likely recipient of added playing time, although the Dodgers will almost assuredly look for an upgrade over the light hitting Gordon.

- Jon Heyman over at CBS Sports is reporting that the San Francisco Giants and catcher Buster Posey are beginning the process of exploring a multi-year extension, one which would buy out the last remaining years of arbitration for the young catcher and the first two years of free agency. While I applaud any team that goes through the steps of locking up their young stars, the ghosts of Joe Mauer's mega deal with the Twins ring as a precautionary tale in my mind. That holds doubly true when you are talking about a National League team that won't have the ability to stash him in the DH slot should his body start breaking down after years of catching. A 10-year deal, which is the idea being floated at the time, may be a huge risk to take by the Giants, but one which they will have no other choice but to take.

- The Texas Rangers are still trying to decide what to do with baseball's top prospect, Jurickson Profar. The young shortstop got a taste of the big leagues in 2012. The Rangers, however, do not have a position for him, as they have a solid young shortstop in Elvis Andrus and second baseman Ian Kinsler has shown an unwillingness to change positions. Peter Gammons quelled rumors of a Profar for Oscar Taveras trade with the Cardinals, but it would solve needs for both organizations. Texas seems unwilling to part with Profar and rightfully so, at least in a straight-up deal. Still, if you aren't going to play him and you aren't going to trade him, shouldn't the announcement of his starting the season in Triple-A have already been made?

- The Los Angeles Angels made a big move to acquire Josh Hamilton this winter and make their line-up deeper, but did so at the expense of their pitching staff. Instead, they picked up Tommy Hanson in a trade with Atlanta, Jason Vargas in a trade with Seattle, and signed middling Joe Blanton to an unsightly contract this winter. Now Hanson is hurt and the team has no one to fall back on to fill the void. As Mike DiGiovanna at the LA Times points out, that leaves Jerome Williams and Garrett Richards as the top two choices to step in during Hanson's absence. However, considering the hole the Angels dug last April, is the team prepared to risk digging another one or should they buck up, go all-in, and pursue Kyle Lohse?

- As if the Houston Astros needed to be considered any more of a joke this season, there is talk that the team is still listening to offers, purportedly centered around pitchers Bud Norris and Lucas Harrell. Now, knowing what the Astros have already parted with this winter, one would assume that Norris and Harrell are pretty much the only marketable players left on the roster outside of Jose Altuve. What Astros fans must think of the state of this franchise heading into Opening Day is beyond me. What kind of business model are they actually working off of there?

WWE has just announced that Booker T is going into the WWE Hall of Fame.

Please don’t take this wrong, please...

I am completely and totally color blind...

Some of my best friends are in every color...

But I was thinking...

And I know that’s dangerous when I think...

Given the fact that Wes Welker is leaving NE for DEN...

I got to thinking about some of my favorite white receivers...

My favorite of all time is...

Meeeeeeee...

As a kid, I was a pretty good pass catcher...

Couldn’t throw the ball worth beans...

So bad that my son Ryan would make fun of me...

“Dad, I’ve seen better arms on a chair...”

Much better...

Then he met my best buddy Dave...

The guy could flat out launch it...

“Hey, Doug. Go out to the fire hydrant and do a post pattern...

The light post, that is...

I did it...

Dave threw it...

Touchdown, DVT!!!

We played together on the Orangeview Junior High eighth grade team...

I was the split end...

Only thing is...

Coach Gray wanted to run the ball...

And Tim Smeal was a much better hander offer than Dave...

So because I was 85 pounds dripping wet...

And because they needed a telescope to find me when I ran my patterns...

Coach replaced me after the second game with a bigger guy who could block...

Dave...

He was so apologetic...

No big deal, Dave...

That’s the way it goes...

Then something really cool happened...

We were told there would be a halftime game for guys like me...

And Dave...

He got to QB...

And I was his flanker...

We were the stars of the Halftime Team...

The true buddy that he was, Dave always called my number...

We connected twice in one game...

I was so happy...

In another game...

When Dave called my number...

Greg Apostle came in a tapped the wrong guy on the back...

Me...

So I ran off the field unbeknownst to Dave...

He went back to pass with me on the sideline...

And threw an interception...

We were so mad at Apostle...

Who rarely showed for practice...

And didn’t have a “clue”...

Unless it was the board game in his closet...

Even before I met Dave...

I fell in love with a great white receiver...

You see...

I grew up in Central Illinois as a huuuuge Chicago Bears fan...

And my favorite player was Mike Ditka...

And the coolest thing was...

When we moved to Cali...

Dad took us to a Friday night Rams game....

Against the Bears...

I was screaming my head off...

And then it happened...

A fan ran onto the field...

For a brief moment...

Until he got violently level to the ground by...

My hero, Mike Ditka...

Who got booed like crazy...

But I was jumping up and down in delight...

Then over the years...

More great white receivers entered my life...

Dave was the biggest Charger fan...

And he introduced me to...

Bambi...

Lance Alworth...

And there were more....

My favorite quarterback of all time....

Had his favorite target...

Johnny Unitas to Raymond Berry...

And I’ve never really been a big Seahawks fan...

But I just couldn’t resist...

Jim Zorn to Steve Largent...

And I’ll never forget...

Jim Plunkett to Randy Vataha at Stanford...

And Jim Plunket to Randy Vataha in New England...

Before I really started to hate the Raiders...

I kinda liked ‘em...

Especially...

Daryle Lamonica to Fred Biletnikoff...

Not to mention my favorite Bengal...

Chris Collinsworth...

And there are probably others I can’t remember at the moment...

But props definitely go out to fellow  Aztec...

And one of my favorite tight ends...

Don Warren...

However...

Will all that being said...

I will never forget...

The greatest performance I have ever seen by a wide receiver...

Of any color...

Kellen Winslow vs. the Dolphins...

The 1981 Playoff "Epic in Miami"...

Nuff said...

dvt

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