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Whip it out Wednesday with IHM
Category: FEATURED


  Well folks, I noticed the lack of new material yesterday and so far today... so I thought I'd pop in and add this little bit today in the featured spot! I'm sure Jeff will be by with some Deep Thoughts for us a little later on...

  Not sure how many of you got to see the Twins-Royals game last night... but what a finish! Alex Gordon hits a two run jack in the bottom of the ninth off of All-Star closer Glen Perkins, and the Royals walk off with a 2-1 win! Great game from start to finsih.

  Of course, I was bouncing back and forth between that game and the Tigers-Yankees tilt. The Tigers won that one 5-2, keeping themselves within a game and a half of the AL Central lead and half a game off the second Wild Card spot, trailing Seattle. Rick Porcello picked up his career-high and MLB best 15th win, going eight solid innings for the TIgers.

  Seattle picked up the win 5-0 over Texas last night to stay in that second spot. The #1 spot in the AL of course is occupied by the Oakland A's, who are just a game behind the Angels for the AL West lead. The A's lost to Houston last night, while the Angels beat the Marlins in Interleague action.

  The biggest AL division lead belongs to the Orioles, who lead the Yankees by seven games after their 4-2 win over the Rays.

 Over on the senior circuit, the division races aren't quite so tight. The Nationals lead the slumping Braves by seven games, and the Dodgers enjoy a five game cushion over the Giants. The Central is a cluster fuck as usual... with the Brewers a game and a half ahead of the Cardinals, and the Pirates within striking distance at five games back.

  Pete Carroll was fined $100,000 and the Seattle Seahawks another $200,000 for violating the league's offseason no-contact policy in practices. Couldn't have happened to a bigger bunch of douchebags if you ask me. Like I said earlier this week to BOB... I'll pretty much be rooting for anyone that ISN'T Seattle to win the Lombardi Trophy this year!

  ESPN decided to run a report on the showering habits of Rams DE Michael Sam... but as disgusting as that is, some good came out of it! Rams starting DE Chris Long chimed in with this tweet, winning the internet for the day for sure:

 Couldn't have said it better myself!

  As for the players on the Rams roster not being placed under a microscope because of their sexual preferences, looks like Sam Bradford is done for the year AGAIN! This leaves career backup Shaun Hill in line for the starters job, and the Rams scrambling to find either a real starter elsewhere. Will St.Louis be a destination for a guy like Mark Sanchez... Kirk Cousins... Ryan Mallett...or any other former starter that wants out of town?

  What do you do if you're the Rams GM, Gabbers? Do you give up on Sam Bradford and try to get your quarterback of the future next year in the draft? Personally, I don't see how you can possibly have any kind of confidence in the guy's ability to stay healthy anymore. He's just not reliable enough.

  Kevin Love made it to Cleveland yesterday, and was introduced to the media and LeBron's personal sack rest, Brian Windhurst. Meanwhile back in Minnesota, Wolves owner Glen Taylor went all Dan Gilbert on Love, saying he got away with not playing much defense a lot of the time in Minnesota! Pretty strong shot out of a guy who hasn't fielded a winner since he became an NBA owner if you ask me! But he has a point... Love is going to be in a whole new world of pressure in Cleveland, and I think he might just become the next Chris Bosh... suddenly a #3 option and seeing his numbers dip quite a bit compared to what he did in Minnesota. Personally, I hope he's a failure in Cleveland, and I hope LeBron fails in his attempt to bring a title there. Not that Cleveland doesn't deserve a championship... but they deserve it in a better sport and from a better source than the fucking charity act LeBron is dropping on them.

  That's all I've got for today folks. Have a great Hump Day, and I'll see you again on Saturday!

Buzz from the Bleachers
Category: Daily Blog 2.0


I had two of my wisdom teeth pulled last night. I was able to go with just numbing the jaw. Honestly, I just wanted the one out. Half of it had fallen out and it was constantly aching. I’m on some sweet painkillers.


So, a few folks have posted about the Steelers backfield getting busted for tokin and drivin. Let me elaborate on just how stupid this incident was. These guys were cruising on a MAJOR road just outside of Pittsburgh. It wasn’t some small road near the team facility. This is a major roadway.


Also, Bell informed the police he didn’t know he could get a DUI for bein high. Both players and their lady friend were quick to admit they were under the influence and in possession. Of course, Bell and Blount threw out the “It’s ok, we’re Steelers” defense. It didn’t work. They’re facing charges, though really the girl in the car with them will get the worst. They’ll miss 4 games.


Another question: Why would Pittsburgh want Bell, who seems to have a decent future, to hang out with a train wreck like Blount?


People have also been talking about the latest f you from the NFL: pay for play for bands at the Super Bowl. I’d love to see everyone turn them down. It would be funny to see the Shield have to bring in some college band or something.


It’s exciting to see the Pirates starting to do well. Unfortunately, McCutchen is still being held back by his rib injury, but the team as a whole is doing well. They have some crucial series coming up against the Cards and the Reds. Gerrit Cole is doing well against the Cards tonight. We had to give our vouchers away, as we’re a bit busy. Looks like our friends are getting their moneys worth though.


The Buccos have a slim chance of taking the division, but they’re a game a half from a wild card spot and are takin it to the Cards. On the other hand, the AL West is coming on strong and looks like they could get 3 teams into the playoffs. The Tigers are struggling on offense now. They, of course, still have bullpen woes. As of now, the Tigers have 16 blown saves in 45 opportunities. We’re about the middle of the pack in save percentage, but we paid so much more for our bullpen.


We got another cat primarily for our cat to have a playmate. On the other hand, our landlady really wanted a cuddly cat. We got another black cat. He’s a beanpole. I wanted to the name him The Dude. I ditched it in favor of Chupacabra, or Chupa for short. He’s got a habit of suckling on fingers. He’s got a bit of a dark side too. He’s playful, naturally. He thinks my wife’s hair is string. He went after a strand in her face and caught her eye. It looked like she had an extra pupil made of blood. Chupa seems like it will stick.


That’s it for the week. I’m gonna give in to my meds. Thanks as always for stopping by. I should be more with it next week.

Musings From The Hoodwood 8-26 NFL Preview Pt.3
Category: Daily Blog 2.0
Tags: NFL


Greetings from the Hoodwood where the fantasy teams are getting ready to get back to the championship ways

More of the NFL Preview Lets look East where the more things change…

AFC East

New England Patriots

2013: 12-4 Champs lost to Denver in Conference Championship

Coach: Bill Belichick 163-61 in 14 Seasons in New England, 199-105 in 19 Seasons with Cleveland & New England; 218-114 overall

Man on the Hot Seat: Stevan Ridley needs to be more a force in the running game, 774 yards won’t be enough to balance the load of the offense

Fast Facts: Belichick’s 163 wins is more than triple the wins of the next winningest coach Mike Holovak

The Patriots have had one losing season in the Belichick tenure his first the 13 straight winning seasons, they had 18 winning seasons in the 40 years before Belichick arrived

The Patriot Way: The Patriots have been the class of the division and are a shoo in for at least 10 wins, as long as Brady has his health, the Pats are the team to beat. Their defense is still suspect and their running game has always been subpar but they are the Pats and there isn’t a team in the division that matches up well enough to beat them out.

Miami Dolphins

2013: 8-8, Missed Playoffs

Coach: Joe Philbin, 2nd  Season in Miami 8-8 overall

Man on the Hot Seat: Ryan Tannehill, he has to see his peers in Dalton, RG3, Luck and Wilson have all made the playoffs and he hasn’t come close

Fast Facts: The Dolphins have missed the playoffs in 11 of the past 12 seasons. Before this they had never missed the playoffs more than 4 seasons in a row

The Dolphins have only had a 1000 yard rusher 12 times in their team history

Big Fish or small tuna: Pushing past the mess that was the Martin-Incognito the Dolphins are a decently talented team, but lack a big name on either side of the ball. Tannehill is on the spot to assert himself more on the offense while a non-descript defense needs to play better.


New York Jets

2013: 8-8 Missed Playoffs (worst season since 2005)

Coach: Rex Ryan 42-38 in 6 Seasons in New York 46-40 overall

Man on the Hot Seat: Ryan, he can’t have another mediocre season and get away with it in Gotham

Fast Facts: The Jets 290 points were the 4th fewest in the NFL in 2013, the three teams scoring fewer points had 10 wins combined

Gotham Gridiron: The Jets are an overhyped mediocre squad, they might get up for the Pats but they fall asleep at the switch way too often, I’m not convinced that the grinning jeering Ryan will ever change and that the Jets will do nothing to change their perception.


Buffalo Bills

2013: 6-10 Missed playoffs

Coach: Doug Marrone 2nd Season 6-10 overall

Man on the Hot Seat: EJ Manuel, the Bills QB needs to grow and fast, the

Fast Facts: The Bills are the only team in the NFL to have not played in the playoffs in the 20th Century (Even the Browns and Raiders have made the playoffs since the turn of the century, in 2002)

B-Lo Football: The Bills are stuck in a rut, they are in a weak division but don’t have the chops to pass the other teams in the division much less take on the Pats. They have the tools to be sure, but one can’t be sure if they can put it all together. The loss of their long time beloved owner puts the team’s long term future in western New York in doubt, but the Bills are just stuck in a bad situation.

NFC East

Philadelphia Eagles

2013: 7-9 Wild Card lost to New Orleans in Wild Card Round

Coach: Chip Kelly 2nd Season 10-6 in 1 season in Philadelphia

Man on the Hot Seat: Nick Foles, the job is his as the Eagle QB how will he handle it?

Fast Facts: The Eagles haven’t had a losing season since 2006

Philly Phootball: Chip Kelly and the fastbreaking Eagle offense are not to be trifled with. Start with the accurate Foles at the helm and dangerous running backs Shady McCoy and Darren Sproles seemingly everywhere, the Eagles will score points. They are good enough to win a weak NFC East again but how deep can they get in January?

New York Giants

2013: 7-9 missed playoffs

Coach: Tom Coughlin; 90-70 overall in 10 seasons in New York, 98-73 overall, 170-137 in 17 total seasons overall in New York and Jacksonville

Man on the Hot Seat: Eli Manning, if he throws 25 interceptions again 2 rings or no he and Coughlin might be unemployed

Fast Fact: The Giants have never had back to back losing seasons during Coughlin’s tenure

Big Blue Football: If there was a rebound waiting to happen, it’s the G-Men. I still have yet to embrace the laconic style of Eli Manning but I can’t count a Coughlin coached team out.

Dallas Cowboys

2013: 8-8 Missed playoffs

Coach: Jason Garrett 29-27 overall in 3+ seasons in Dallas

Man on the Hot Seat: Jason Garrett, HA! You thought I was going to say QB Tony Romo. Romo can only do so much the Pokes mediocrity is Garrett’s responsibility

Fast Facts: The Cowboys 3 straight 8-8 seasons are the longest .500 streak in team history

Big D Football: The Pokes and their fans talk big but the reality is that a solid offense can only cover up just so much for a horrid defense that is marginally better than the putrid squad of last year. Jones can bluster all he wants about respect but the Pokes are no better than a 9-7 team, and in a loaded NFC that won’t get them to the playoffs.


2013: 3-13 missed playoffs

Coach: Jay Gruden, 1st Season

Man on the Hot Seat: Robert Griffin, III. After a poor sophomore year the electric QB needs to make a stand

Fast Facts: Only the Vikings gave up more than Washington’s 478 points last year and only Jacksonville had a bigger point differential…and the Vikings beat Washington last year                                                    

Capital Football: A new regime in DC and old problems, a so-so running game, a defense that gets no better and continued problems with the development of RG3, who is the starter but if Washington starts 1-3 again…uh oh.

Ill add more as the day goes. Until next post fellow sports fans…




I'm Just Saying.....Fantasy Football Draft
Category: NFL
Tags: NFL Fantasy Football

Yesterday I had my fantasy football draft. I think this was the hardest I ever had to work in selecting a team. My draft day strategy changed several times before draft day even arrived. I knew I had the 5th pick in the draft (we do it just like the NFL, based on the previous seasons won/lost record) so I had time to over analyze. In the league I’m in you have to pick 2 QB, 2 K, 2 Def, 4 RB, 5 WR/TE. So Gabbers, here is my draft in the order I picked them:

TE Jimmy Graham

WR Julio Jones

RB DeMarco Murray

RB Zac Stacy

RB Frank Gore

WR Michael Floyd

D Carolina

K Mason Crosby

QB Nick Foles

WR Reggie Wayne

QB Ben Roethlisberger

D New England

RB Bernard Pierce

K Greg Zuerlein

WR Marqise Lee


Notes: This draft was the first time I ever drafted 3 RB in a row.

Adrian Peterson was taken first

Jamaal Charles was taken second.

Peyton Manning taken third.

LeSean McCoy was taken fourth.

Marshawn Lynch was taken in the second round.

Seattle was the first defense taken and that was in the fourth round.

I took the first kicker in the eighth round.

WR’s Boldin and Evans were not taken.

Monday Moaning - 8/25/14
Category: FEATURED

Happy Labor Day Weekend.  I know Country isn’t the most popular choice here at The Gab, but this video I play every Labor Day Weekend is my way of honoring the hard working folks who struggle every day doing it the right way just to keep even – you folks are in no way honored enough, and I for one am tired of others trying to steal little pieces of what you all work hard your whole life for!!!  Let the words speak for themselves.

The reality is that this type of worker is becoming more and more rare based on pure greed on both sides, but know this folks, you have at least one fan here, and many, MANY more.  And by the way, Alabama is THE BEST country music out there!

But before I move on to what we all came here to do, allow me a rant would ya:  I am really trying to get into sports on the regular X’s and O’s level, I swear to you all I am.  But my goodness, the idiotic greed and unmatched stupidity of professional sports right about now is mind-boggling, and unfortunately, I have to discuss it here today.  For that I profusely apologize.

Mary Jane.  How freaking stupid do you have to be to spark up then go and drive?  I generally don’t give a damn if you do smoke weed, except when your Jamacian Voodoo Posse imitation invades my space and/or you’re operating machinery and putting yourself (but more importantly others) at risk.  If you ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY have to smoke, can you at least wait until you freaking get home and know you aren’t going anywhere?  DAMN!

MLB – Oakland/Anaheim/Seattle.  How great a story is the AL West for MLB?  Oakland took two thrillers Friday and Saturday night that had ole Uncle B.O.B. glued to a Baseball game on TV, and that takes A LOT...

MLB – LA/SF.  Milwaukee gave San Francisco an absolute gift last week, and looke what they did with it:  pissed it away.  What happened Sunday in Washington was a flameout of epic proportion by the gas can known as the SF bullpen.  Good Lord, how do you go from being up 6-2 to down 14-6?  Jesus...

NFL – Mike Ditka.  How dare Mike Ditka express his opinion on this battle regarding the Washington Football Franchise nickname.  Who the hell is he?  Well, here is what he said and by golly I'm gonna stand up to him - the PC Army needs to fight this scourge of a man and darn it, like Al Bundy on Labor Day, I'm just the guy to take on Iron Mike.  Did you read what that pathetically obnoxious little man said?  Well, the short version is here.  I wonder how long before ESPiN drops the hammer on him?  Shameless plug alert:  I will be having a blog next week which directly addresses this issue:  If you are PC, I’m here for you – to support your vision and to encourage you that your efforts haven't gone far enough and I'm making a proposal that should solve this problem of nicknames!  YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

NFL Preseason.  Landon Cohen of the Buffalo Bills is my newest favorite player in the NFL.  Why?  Because he’s a fat guy who recovered a fumble, rumbled 59 yards with the rock and showed some good cuts.  Too bad he ran out of gas and slowed down to let the Steelers tackle his ass.  What is it John Madden says:  “I love it when a fat guy gets the ball”???

NFL Preseason – Weekend #3.  They say that this is the weekend to get an idea of what your teams will look like at the start of the season and if what I saw is any indication, you could almost hand the Lombardi Trophy back to those whiny bastards in Seattle, though a case could be made for an improved Green Bay and New Orleans.  Meanwhile, 30 teams are gonna get overshadowed by douchebaggery coming out of New York and Cleveland, both of which will be worthless.

NBA – The Big Trade.  It’s official and America’s (and ESPiN's) self-appointed #1 NBA fan Bill Simmons is pissed:  Kevin Love is going to Cleveland to help LeBron win that title for long-suffering Cleveland.  Let me beat ESPiN to the punch:  The Cavs are not just must-see TV, but the first team favored to go 82-0 and sweep the playoffs.  THEY’RE THAT GOOD!!!   You see ESPiN, I just saved you some time, so don’t bother. 

Hey Simmons, no trade you can engineer (since we know Danny Ainge just LOVES to hear your rumors because you are so much smarter than him - that's why you're a blog site editor and he's a championship winning General Manager) will help the Celtics stay with the Cavs.

Let me be 100% serious for a moment:  I am going to enjoy the hell out of this if it blows up and Cleveland doesn’t live up to the hype.  It’s no disrespect to Cleveland, but a hell of a lot of disrespect to the hype machines, and that whiny little (bleep) Kevin Love. 

But wait, somebody with a sense of logic chimed in:  Here’s the scouting report when playing against Cleveland, RUN!  For the first eight seconds of the shot clock you’ll get to play 5 on 4 because Love will still be down on the other end pouting about something.  It’s very similar to what we go through in Sacramento when the Kings whine to the refs while the opponent goes 4 on 1 for the same reason.

NBA – Joel Embid.   Hey Joel, you know you’ve screwed up on Twitter when the Iron Sheik gets loose and asks you:  “you have the kush bubba?”  You get props for having brass balls on Twitter trying to get with Rihanna or whoever – it’s actually pretty funny somewhat – if it didn’t sound so pathetic.  Hey Joel, if a chick says “Get back with me when you’re rich and famous…” trust me my man, you don’t want none of that! 

Come on Joel – you’re now a millionaire and trust me, you don’t need the drama of Rihanna in your life, you’re a freaking rookie on a team desperate to improve right away.  Focus on the roundball and find something less distracting.

NBA – Kobe Bryant.  Once again when he has a chance to keep his mouth show he's not a Richard Cranium, Kobe Bryant just can't avoid saying something freaking obnoxious.  This time?  Here he says elite players like LeBron and of course himself are underpaid and that the salary cap isn’t fair to the big dogs.  So it’s fairer for the elite players to make as much as they can while the owners low ball the ham and eggers?  I can’t wait for the liberals who want everybody to share talk about this one.  Wait, no response?  Shocking, a double standard.

Yeah, way to stand up for ALL players in the league Kobe – so typically you.  Get yours and fuck 90% of the league, who if they didn’t exist, there’d be no NBA.  Hey Mr. Bryant, I hate to burst your bubble, but you aren’t as elite as you might think now.  So I guess you should give back your money and give it to Carmelo or Dwight Howard, or Kevin Durant, or CP3 or because they are far more worthy of it, right?

Douchebag of the Week - NFL – Super Bowl Halftime Show.  The NFL is really trying to force performers to pay them for the privilege of performing at halftime of the Super Bowl?  Now I hate these Hollyweird freaks, but if I was every single one of them and this rumor was true, I’d laugh at the NFL and tell them to piss off. 

Besides, no self-respecting Gabber is going to watch that, well, except for the pervs who will just be hoping for a Katy Perry wardrobe malfunction.  But then again, this is who the NFL is trying to get to perform:  Katy Perry, Rihanna, or Coldplay?  Good Lord, Kirk Franklin and his gospel choir are probably more popular.   

Now, to provide an opposing view, our friend Doug is also right – let the market dictate this.  If the NFL wants to get greedy, they’re within their right.  But let me say this:  if the NFL is gonna go this route, how long before they don’t give a damn and find a way to go PPV for regular season games or the Super Bowl?


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