Humor
Oh Bob Costas! Not that too!!
Category: Humor
Tags: Bob Costas and the Boarders

Bob Costas Watching Island Girl

Bob Costas and Boarder Patrols.

       Our boarders are a serious concern to us all and no one takes it more seriously than Bob Costas.     He actually lies in bed at night and worries about these things whilst we concern ourselves with Pumpkin Pie, RGIII and Taylor Swift.

And the Boarder Patrols are no laughing matter because curfews are only effective,  if they are enforced.  The Boarder Agents can’t everywhere, right?    Left to their own devices people will push the limits of decency and when alcohol is involved,  all bets are off.

        It is up to us,   to do what we can,  so both the boarder agents and Mr. Costas can sleep.   And it is not just the Shuffleboarders but Skateboarders too.     How many times have you heard about skateboarders running over people on the sidewalks?   And what happens when a skater hits a shuffler outside the library?  A turf war I say and it is not pretty.

        On one hand you would have the Golfcart Street Bluehairs versus the Elm Street Emos.   Both groups are ruthless and the bluehairs are not afraid to drive their cars in the fast lane during rush hours.   They really know how to party.

       But Bob Costas knows that it would take only one skateboard on the wrong block to stir up trouble.   Knowing that trouble lurks inconspicuously,  Bob knows that skateboards and shuttleboard sticks can and often are lethal and chafes at the notion that humans kill and not the objects themselves.   And that we need tighter controls along with more laws.   Even going so far as a total ban on these items.  Oh and along with Japanese Anime,  Folk Ark and Origame.

Thank God we have bolo knives.   Let Bob come for those!!!!

Things That Make You Go, Huh?
Category: Humor
Tags: Bob Costas Jim Rome

Thoughts from a Mean Pacific Island Girl

In the days of androgyny and utter chaos comes the word ‘gay’ and through the years it went from being happy to Giddy for Gomer.  I wonder if ‘those people’ put another log on the fire when they hear ‘gay apparel’?  Or let it snow, let it snow,  let it snow?

A lot of fa la la las,  if you know what I mean.   There seems to be some things to you can kid about and others are politically incorrect.   For example,  you have the pain relieving ointment called ‘Ben Gay’.    Is that really a medical product or a sexual proclivity?

And how about Ben Ghazi?  Or the Straight of Hormuz? Or even ‘Ben Folds Five’?   Bad puns can turn into a nuclear winter with politically correct scribes taking umbrage with certain vernacular.

I guess it is good to always carry a dictionary,  thesaurus and now a book on colloquialisms and what not to say.   Kind of like what not to wear for words.

This piece is not about gay bashing but the absurd.   It is okay to interview children after a terrible shooting spree but not to mention certain words.   You can bash Jesus or God but not Mohammed.

You can  burn a Bible but not a Koran.   And you can erect a Mosque near Ground Zero.

You can run up 80 points or more in a football game in college but not against Professional Football teams because that is somehow,  over the top.

Young girls basketball team can win 100-0 but that is ok,  but a girl who rushes for nearly 2,000 yards and 39 TDs is not so newsworthy.    That is not considered hype,   while a male player doing a flip in a game is not hype?

Of course drama is not just a woman thing anymore.   Take all the reality shows from Hardcore Pawn to bored rich rednecks,  the shows run the gamut.   Some of these shows are exploitative like Toddlers and Tiaras and Honey BooBoo  and others kind of intriguing like Ice Road Truckers.

The drama even seeps into commercials where All-state is depicting Randy as unreliable.   Or the doctor coming on to pitch as a reliever,  late in the game.

 

But the idiot in the car with his friend,  talking about his epiphanies that blew his mind.   Sonic must be proud of that.  

A lot of these recreated shows like Operation Repo are as about as believable as the Real World.   Twenty something people living in mansions speak of reality to me.   Or the motions that singers are put through on American Idol or The X Factor.   The best part of these shows are the ones who are terrible. Oh,  and the last shows!!!

 

Now we have Bob Costas politicizing events on a weekly basis.  The smartest man in sports as coined by Jim ‘Don’t Call Me Chrissy’ Rome babbles with a sense of sincerity about topics that are not in the realm of sports,  trying to find some relevancy in personal tragedy.

In otherwords,   these reporters are more like the sports version of Biblical Heretics.    Parsing words and canning emotion,  to sell their own self-worth.  No less than charlatans than Benny Hinn or Elmer Gantry,  they imbibe of the same sins as the rest of us,  except they are self-appointed messiahs minus the 10 Commandments.

Always pretensiously pensive

If something is inherently good,  these imprimaturs will cull or create some new drama that involves something besides the Mormons.  Now we have the Amish Mafia breaking new ground.   Pretty soon the Discovery Channel doing a Gangland piece featuring Levi and driveby shootings in pimped out,  low-rider buggies.

You can have the gangstas from Intercourse,  PA having heat with the Hershey Heights Hooligans.  

 

Behind every gangsta boss is a gangsta ho!

Penalty Flags and a Kinder NFL
Category: Humor
Tags: Dallas Cowboys Warren Sapp Chris Collingsworth

Benign Thoughts of a Pacific Island Princess

Hey I know and understand the implications of a safer NFL.   Where severe ACL injuries and concussions could be totally eliminated or at least,  largely so. 

I can imagine a league where tacklers will have to be OSHA certified and a narrower definition of legal tackles will be implemented.   In the end,   it will be a league of flag football.  

All replays will be ruled upon by Judge Judy at half time and her decisions will be final pending congressional approval.

 

Your momma jokes will not be permitted at any time.  But an occasional guffaw or a random chortle may be allowed.  The only time kicks to the groin will be permitted is Thanksgiving and bounties will be frowned upon.

Christmas Trees and Mangers will be strictly forbidden and the Lambeaux leap allowed only below the Mason-Dixon Line.  

It has been noted with some optimism that holding penalties are not being called enough.   We know that fans want to see 75 yard touchdowns nullified and that the reason fans come to the game is to see the officials ensure fairness to all participants.

 

Illegal procedures will also constitute audibles where the whole offensive line decides to stand up and pretend to be doing something related to the next play.

We are seriously considering doing away with blocking and ultimately any contact with any other players whatsoever.  

Ties will be resolved during Dallas games with Rex Ryan mud wrestling with Tim Tebow as well as offensive lineman will be allowed to wear sports bras,  as long as they are not stuffed with medical marijuana or ectasy.

We want the league to be a gentler kinder place with players and fans doing hotlaps in the infield.  The NFL Network supports these changes and hopes these innovations will eliminate the need for commentators like Chris Collingsworth and Warren Sapp.  Or silly blogs such as mine.

This?  Really?  or this below...........

Have a happy New Year and a great time watching football the way it was meant to be.   I get safety and some plays are uncalled for.   But do we want this to be micromanaged????

 

 

 

A White Christmas?
Category: Humor
Tags: Minnesota Vikings Green Bay Packers

Thoughts from an Island Girl

What you are seeing is the demarcation line of a changing weather pattern.   Cold air will move in waves and ultimately change our viewing habits as pictures of snow and snow drifts will prevail for at least, a few weeks.

 

This is the time of the year that weather takes it’s most decided turn toward wintry-like conditions.  And for all the consternation towards Forecasters,  we actually do quite well.   A snow forecast or one that includes icy conditions is by far the hardest.  It is largely easier to forecast for Hurricanes than where it is going to snow and where it might be freezing rain or just rain.

KGSO   GFSX MOS GUIDANCE  12/19/2012  0000 UTC                       
 FHR  24| 36  48| 60  72| 84  96|108 120|132 144|156 168|180 192      
 WED  19| THU 20| FRI 21| SAT 22| SUN 23| MON 24| TUE 25| WED 26 CLIMO
 X/N  65| 41  54| 38  47| 28  49| 29  55| 33  54| 38  59| 43  57 30 49
 TMP  54| 43  51| 38  38| 30  42| 31  46| 36  46| 40  51| 45  49      
 DPT  34| 35  47| 30  19| 18  19| 18  21| 25  29| 33  39| 40  39      
 CLD  CL| CL  OV| OV  PC| CL  CL| CL  CL| PC  OV| OV  OV| OV  OV      
 WND   7|  4   9| 15  25| 16  19|  8   8|  5   8|  5   9|  6  11      
 P12   2| 10  69| 81  11|  3   0|  5   9| 12  20| 41  42| 41  41 22 23
 P24    |     77|     87|      3|      9|     25|     56|     63    33
 Q12   0|  0   2|  3   0|  0   0|  0   0|  0   0|  2    |             
 Q24    |      2|      2|      0|      0|      0|       |             
 T12   0|  0   6|  9   1|  0   0|  0   0|  0   1|  2   3|  4   3      
 T24    |  0    | 13    |  3    |  0    |  0    |  2    |  5          
 PZP   5|  7   6|  7   9| 10  13| 22  15| 12  10| 11  11| 11  12      
 PSN   3|  0   0|  7  44| 52  40|  7   1|  6   0|  0   0|  0   0      
 PRS   4|  1   0| 24  29| 24   2|  6   4|  5   3|  2   3|  3   4      
 TYP   R|  R   R|  R   S|  S   S|  Z   R|  R   R|  R   R|  R   R      
 SNW    |      0|      0|      0|      0|      0|       |         

For the initated this forecast is significant.  First of all,  the more long range,  the more suspect temperatures are and the hints of much colder air would indicate a downward trend overall, in our temperatures.   This computer model is for Greensboro,  North Carolina.

 

THIS TIME VERY COLD ARCTIC AIR WILL BE IN
PLAY... BUT THE EXTENT OF THE COLD AIR DOWN THE EASTERN SEABOAR IS
PROBLEMATIC. THE MAIN QUESTIONS FOR OUR REGION WILL BE THE EXTENT OF
CAD THAT CAN DEVELOP BEFORE THE PRECIPITATION ARRIVES... AND TO WHAT
EXTENT THIS CAD WILL HAVE ON THE EVOLUTION OF THE STORM. THE LATEST
MODEL SUITE CONTINUES TO INDICATE EVEN STRONGER AND "CUT OFF" MID
LEVEL CYCLONES... SUGGESTING A MILLER B TYPE WINTER STORM.

I want you to note this part of the forecast discussion.  This indicates that the actual temperatures are in question.  More cold air than expected could be the difference between snow and rain.   So if things get squirrely here,  then you will know why.

 

And the impact of even winter storms can hit in so many ways.   Emergency planning includes the availability of de-icing agents like salt for the roads and Urea for runways.  Delays caused by snowfall and aircraft icing can virtually shut down an airport.

With this in mind,  comes the refrain of Christmas Carols heralding long snowy days with snow drifts and the sounds of snow blowers.  It marks a time where football fields can be covered in snow and yard markings are revealed by snow shovels and the aforementioned snow clearing equipment.

For the kids it brings the potential snow days.   Kids will secretly pray for a big snow and the resultant school cancellations.   Green Bay and Minnesota Vikings fans will go to games and take their shirts off, just baiting Jack Frost and Mother Nature with potential hypothermia.  The usual talk of frozen tundra and the surreal site of snow falling like in a snow globe.

A bit of wintry fare for everyone.   By late morning and early afternoon parents are getting on edge,  as their children trudge ice and snow into the house and where Frosty was a pristine white,  he becomes sullied by dogs and slush.

So where is all this going and certainly,  how does it pertain to sports?

Well,  there is a shifting from Spring-like weather to the caustic and unrelenting cooler air that marks this time of year.   And that change is nigh at hand.   We will see a major change by the end of this week and after.   And while temps may rebound upwards for awhile,  even parts of the Southeastern USA,  will see some potential wintry like conditions and maybe even,  significant snowfall.

And should I be wrong about that,  wind chill factors will give you a winter wonderland sans snow and a dark gray overcast and cold biting days.   

So,  if we are fortunate,  we will see those Thomas Kincaid pictures reproduced in our own backyards and city blocks.   We will experience the ice skating and the sounds of happy children packing snow balls and seeing if the stories of Frosty’s coming to life.

As I mentioned the change is now imminent and the snows will no longer be relegated to Mt Olympus but the valleys around us as well.

Bad to the Bone...
Category: Humor
Tags: Cats

 

Johnny Monkey here with a quick word to my Gab friends. If you thought dog fighting was bad, please do not watch the following video. It is so heinous, that Johnny Monkey hesitates to even show it...

 

 

 

 

 

Remember to eat your veggies! Johnny Monkey out...

 

 

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