Hello and welcome to another Wednesday of deep thoughts. What happened to global warming? It is mid May and normally, Austin is well on the way to summer. Not this year…pleasant and comfortable is what we have had of late. Of course, that means that others are still waiting for the warm up. I always find it interesting that “experts” talk of trends in weather in the past 100 years. Hell…that is not a trend; that is just a blip. Perspective is an interesting thing. Would you find advice from an 80 year old guy more valuable than a 20 year old? How about a weatherman that was 2000 years old?  Now that is a guy that I would tune into listen to. Beezer and BOB touched on something that has been bothering me for awhile. As BOB mentioned yesterday, Tim Tebow cannot find a team willing to put up with the circus that comes with Tebow the football player. Beezer brought out the fact that the “hero” in Cleveland is perhaps not such a great guy after all. Many will say that Tebow is a victim of his popularity that he willingly fed. I guess that is fair, but is really true? From everything that I have heard, Tebow is a very hard working kid that loves to play the game. I am not a fan, but I can see that he has talent to play the game. What is it about Tebow that the media loves? Is it that he was a personality in college and has failed to find success in the NFL? Fans expect, no that is not the right word…we demand players to be available to the media. Usually, players adopt a mask for the camera and use clichés to avoid offering any real depth to who they really are. With Tebow, we get a player that appears to offer us something more than clichés. In doing so, Tim Tebow now understands the dark side of overexposure.

I read this week that Vinny Testerverde and Chris Weinke spent time in the off season working with Tim Tebow. They quickly learned that it was not his throwing motion that caused Tebow’s inaccuracy, but his horrible footwork. After correcting his footwork, his passes had sizzle and repeatedly were true. I also read that the Jets ruined Tebow’s chances of playing in the NFL. I would really like for this kid to get a chance to play. As of now, the only team interested is Jaworski’s AFL team. Tebow has not expressed any interest in arena football at this time.

We live in what has been described as an information age. It is impossible to ignore the many wonderful advances that technology has provided. With the good, comes the bad. With regards to the media and the manner that information is dispersed, I am done…kaput; sick and tired. Emails, twitter, TV, radio…each day such a giant tidal wave of information pours out that I find myself pulling back. Now, of course information is a good thing. It is just the way that the message is being delivered that I have such a problem with. Dig, dig and dig some more is what many media sources do. Why is it that each story must contain drama? Is it because that we want to find the bad stuff that surely must be hidden? I don’t know the Ramsey guy in Cleveland from Jack Shit and really don’t understand why his past is an issue. Except that it gives the media something to dig up and hold up as a trophy of sorts. See, this Good Samaritan is really not such a good guy at all. Look what we found…in the end, we forget that the guy did a really good thing in saving the three women from a horrible existence. Ramsey obviously has had issues in his past. He was punished for his bad behavior and it is not for me to judge his worth as a person, now. Obviously there is a need for this type of coverage because the media finds a large willing market. Maybe it is just me?

I suppose it is rather Pollyanna of me to wish for a simpler time. A time when we accepted things at face value without searching for the bad.. Naive, perhaps…but so much easier in so many ways.

Baseball fans are really big on maintaining the integrity of the game. When a player is “tainted” with real or alleged use of peds, he is completely written off by many fans. I constantly hear it said that players cheating are cheating the game. Why do these same fans not see that horrible umpiring also presents the same threat to the integrity of baseball? Frequently, I hear…”let’s not mess with the “human” element that umpires bring to the game.” I am sorry folks; you can’t take one without the other. A threat is a threat nonetheless. Why should we allow umpires to miss a home run that could have changed the outcome of a game? How can an umpire have access to replays that clearly indicated home run and still get it wrong? How can an umpire not know the rules required for a pitching change? Why allow a manager to protest a game without ever changing the outcome? I can recall one game that was replayed because of a protest…the pine tar game. If ever a game should have been redone it was the game that Oakland lost to Cleveland. Rule the ball a home run and finish the game from that point.  I was listening to an interesting story with regards to the pine tar game that I had forgotten. When the Yankees and Royals met to replay the end of the game that allowed George Brett’s home run… Billy Martin appealed that Brett missed first base, then second and third base. The umpiring crew ruled that he was safe in touching all of the bases. Martin screamed, how can you say he touched the bases, you were not even here! Well, Billy we talked to the other crew and they said he touched the bases. Talk about covering all of your bases!! I have to admit that I had my mind changed this week. I work with a guy that is an umpire for high school games locally. I was asking the question why umpires get a pass from the media. Players and coaches alike have to endure the grilling after a game…why don’t umpires? My friend pointed out that umps are not supposed to be a personality. The problem that he sees is that many of these guys have too much personality and ego. By putting them in front of the camera or having their name put in print, we remove the anonymity that an umpire is supposed to have. An impartial judge is the job and I have to agree that he is right.  Let’s give the umpires better tools to do their job and get rid of the few tools that wear blue and threaten the integrity of the game.

For all the complaining about baseball, there are also many great things about the game. Here is something that is an example of something that is wonderful about baseball. Think Ryu is now a favorite of this kid? Awesome...

I have not followed the NBA much this year, but do know that everyone was singing the praises of Seth Curry. Golden State was going to knock the Spurs out. Spurs were too old…yadda yadda. Looks like the Spurs had a different idea on Tuesday night. Curry had touted that they were the greatest backcourt in history…Curry had 9 points Tuesday night. Reminds me of the great quote by Samuel Clemens…”reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.” Somehow the Spurs get it done…when Pop is done coaching, we will look back and realize what a great coach he was. What a great defensive team coached by a tough minded coach.

That’s all I have today, but I will leave you with a bit of Jack Handey…

“If I had a nickname, I would want it to be” Prince of Weasels”, because then I could go up and bite people and they would turn around and go…”What the…?”And then they would recognize me and say, ‘Oh, it’s you, the Prince of Weasels”. “

“I hope when they die that cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.”

That’s all I have for today, but feel free to leave a few deep thoughts of your own.

Welcome to the tantrums where Uncle B.O.B. laughs at the fact that you find the most common sense when it comes to current events coming from, you guessed it, the Comedy Channel.  Yes, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert make far more sense than all of the news outlets combined.

MLB.   St. Louis is an incredible organization and what their pitchers did to Colorado on Friday and Saturday - somebody better call the cops.  Going 47 batters before giving up a hit?  How ridiculous is that?  I've never even heard of that.

San Francisco Giants went 4-3 this week, struggling w/Philly then taking three out of four from Atlanta.  A bit disappointing of a week and the relievers are starting to drop like flies with Affeldt out on the DL, now Casilla hurts his right knee.  Nevertheless, they are still two games up in the NL West over Arizona.

Oakland A’s had a horrific week going 1-6 at Cleveland and Seattle.  Lots of day to day injuries and shuffling the lineup.  Pitching is killing this team, and the hitting is starting to revert back to last season.  Shake yourselves Oaktown.

NHL.   So far so good for me and the NHL Playoffs.  San Jose advances and gets LA in the second round, the Frenchies got smoked, and the Islanders threw a scare into those dirty Penguins.  But you really gotta look at Toronto and say nice job boys.  Nobody expected this.

Ottawa/Pittsburgh should be fun...as should San Jose/LA. 

NBA.  Steph Curry is incredible, and every time you throw dirt on the Warriors, they come strong.  Now the series is even at two and the Spurs are struggling hard.

Looks like Memphis is gonna beat up a weakened OKC team, Chicago is looking to play football, and Carmelo Anthony is shooting way too much.

NFL.  Tim Tebow’s NFL career is over, but not in a way that he ever envisioned.  No team wants to take a chance on a guy because of “the circus” that surrounds him and that’s a shame because despite a lot of talk, he has the ability to help a team.  When he looks back to wonder “what happened?”, I would suggest to Mr. Tebow that he did a horrible job in stopping the press from being so obnoxiously douchy when it came to him.  He should have cut it off quickly and succinctly, perhaps taking a note from Shane Falco in “The Replacements” and say, “Talk to player X, he’s the real hero…” – don’t give the media anywhere to go with that.

Considering Titus Young’s behavior as of late, I can only imagine what kind of crap he got away with up in Boise.  Dude must figure his NFL career is DOA because this dude is going Pac Man all over the place.

Golf.  Is Golf so desperate for press that we have to hear about Tiger getting liquored up and falling down some stars at “the boom boom room” and having some contrived (and sissified) bullshit stirred up with Sergio Garcia?  How stupid is this???

Speaking of Sergio Garcia - toughen the hell up son.  If Tiger is that far in your dome that it affects your play on the links, get off the course because you've got bigger problems.

I hope all the moms out there had a great Mother's Day...We all know the MILF's did! Mother's Day...Shit, it should be called 'Dad get the kids out of here so Mom can be a lump all day!' I'm kidding, I'm kidding...I love all you moms out their....Especially my wife and my mom...Just remember ladies...Remember the lengths we go to on Mother's Day...Because it seems like when Father's Day rolls around, it gets blown off....Restaurants aren't booked solid for Father's Day...There isn't a big hoopla...A steak and a blow job should be the minimum requirement!

So, any big news stories this week....Oh yeah, THIS big story in the Cleve of course...I wrote that the night it broke...But after that I left the story alone...One of the reasons I left it alone was the Charles Ramsey angle...They guy was an instant media hit...Yes he did the right thing...But I was watching all his interviews, and then I heard his 9-1-1 call...I heard stuff that I expected, like him swearing...You could tell in some of the interviews he was fighting to keep certain words back...But the thing that bothered me was how his story changed in slight details, and how his 9-1-1 call didn't match with some stuff he said...Then there was the interview where he said, "I'm not a hero, I'm the definition of a man."

NOT SO FAST CHUCK...Yeah, you did the right thing...You along with another guy who got no love because he doesn't speak English...But Charles Ramsey has himself a hell of a record...Including 3 convictions for domestic violence and some unpaid child support...So while Charles Ramsey helped Amanda Berry break out of that door, and all of Cleveland is thrilled to have found these 3 young women alive, calling yourself "the definition of a man" is bullshit...Charles Ramsey may have changed his ways, but I don't think he can wear that label.

And right after the story broke people seemed quick to bash the police...Yeah, the 9-1-1 operator was an asshole...I think most people agree on that...And yes, police and the courts should have gone after this Castro bastard harder on stuff in his past...Like maybe when he beat the hell out of his ex-wife, busting up her shoulders, ribs, face, and causing a blood clot on her brain....Oh, and taking their kids and not returning them...Threatening to kill her...Yeah, people should have looked at this guy harder...But you can't blame every cop this...Especially when every time the city is in a budget crunch, they layoff Cops...The system is broken, not the police...

See, this is why I started light, with the MILF crap...because I knew this shit was gonna get heavier...

Well, may as well keep it heavy for a bit longer...Former Notre Dame Fullback, Asaph Schwapp died this past week after a long battle with cancer...He was 26 years old...Too damn young...

-So last week I brought up the NCAA Lacrosse Tourney...So here's what shook out this weekend...UNC beat Lehigh 16-7...Yale beat Penn State 10-7...Notre Dame beat Detroit Mercy 9-7...Denver beat Albany 19-14...Cornell beat Maryland 16-8...Ohio State beat Towson 16-6...Duke beat Loyal (md) 12-11 in double OT...and Syracuse beat Bryant 12-7...Action will pick back up Saturday...

-As for Hockey...The Rangers are killing me...There may not be enough beer in this house to get through Monday night's game 7 with the Capitals...Both teams have held their ground at home...So the Rangers have to break that Monday...Both Goalies have been amazing...5 of the the 6 games were won by won goal...Each goalie has a 1-0 victory...Braden Holtby is becoming an elite goalie right in front of our eyes...He's going toe-to-toe with Lunqvist...And the two superstar goal scores...ALexander Ovechkin, and Rick Nash have been shut down...It's the gritty, role players getting it done...

And Glen Sather looks like a genius for trading Marian Gaborik...Derrick Brassard has flourished with the Rangers, and has been one of their 3 best players in this series...John Moore, the young d-man has stepped right in, and shown he's an elite skater, with great hands, and loads of potential...And Derek Dorsett has played great in this series as well...One thing bothering me, is calling up Chris Krieder and giving him hardly any minutes...They refused to trade him in the Nash deal...He gave them great energy late last season...He has great speed...He's a play maker, and a goal scorer...Your team is struggling to score...He needs to be on the ice Torts!

Sunday night's game ended with some chippieness...Green and Ribero from the Capitals pulled a couple of cocksucker moves late in the game, and when the horn sounded at the end of the game...After the Ranger 1-0 win, the well composed unit let the Caps know they weren't forgetting about it...And the Caps were trying to get in their head for game 7...Monday night's game should be fun...But I'll be sure to have my blood pressure meds and a six-pack sitting next to me...

The Boston Bruins will also be in a game 7 Monday night...Some how they let the Maple Leafs back in, and all the sudden the Leafs are giving them fits....WOW! Who would of thunk it!

Playoff hockey people...Can't beat it!

Have a week...

The Beeze.

   Hello folks and welcome to this week’s edition of Sexy Action Sports Saturday with your old pal IHM.

   This week, we heard a little something out of Redskins owner Daniel Snyder when he came out and publicly stated the team would ‘never’ change its name. Over the years, we’ve been up in arms about quite a few name changes here at the Gab. The most recent and notable was the University of South Dakota Fighting Sioux changing their name despite the support of the Sioux nation. But, with the name “Redskins” you are talking about a whole new ballgame. This name isn’t a tribute to proud warriors who once faced off with what equated with invaders attempting to take their land and way of life away from them… this is a reference to skin color that would with any other race have caused a fucking riot and boycott of all things NFL to this point. Hell, if someone named a team the “Detroit Darkskins”, there would be a public outrage on an international stage. So why is it still okay for the Washington Redskins to continue to exist? Personally, I say it is time for a change, despite the objections of owner Daniel Snyder, and I believe the NFL is going to have to force the issue in order to save face. What say you, Gabitants? Is it about damn time the league steps in and does something to change what is arguably the most offensive team name in the history of professional sports in the year 2013?

   The Lions agreed to terms with Ziggy Ansah today, the final of their 9 2013 draft picks to sign. With his signing, the Lions are ready to roll into camp with a full house. Unfortunately, that means they will have Ziggy Ansah under contract for five years now! Hopefully I am wrong here, but I still say the guy is out of football in two years. Oh, and more great news as Darius Slay, the second round corner, had surgery to repair his meniscus this week, so he’ll miss rookie camp. All right, because we know Mayhew has a great history of taking guys with injury history… right Jhavid Best? Ryan Broyles? Titus Young? Mikkeal Leshoure?

   At least one Lion is upbeat this offseason, as DT Nick Fairley has predicted the Lions will go to the Super Bowl this year. If there were next day, mandated drug tests for saying stupid shit, you’d better bet I’d have his ass on a plane somewhere to get one done after saying that. Not that I’m mad at the guy for dreaming or anything… but history isn’t exactly on their side, either. The only team to go from 4 wins to a Super Bowl win in NFL history was the 1999 St.Louis Rams… and let’s face it, the Rams we ain’t, despite Bill Polian’s insistence.

   Last year at this time, Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera was having a solid year with 7 homers, 27 RBI and hitting around .285. This year after the same amount of games, he’s at 40 RBI, same seven home run total, and hitting nearly a hundred points higher at .382. As it sits now, he leads in 2/3 Triple Crown categories, and is four home runs behind AL leader Mark Reynolds of Cleveland.

  Speaking of Cleveland, aside from Friday night, they’ve been playing some damn good ball of late. The aforementioned Reynolds has provided some nice pop with 11 HR/30 RBI, and is even hitting a respectable .283. Ryan Rayburn hit .171 with 1 HR/12 RBI all of last year (205 ABs) with the Tigers. This year with Cleveland, he’s hitting .329 with 4 HRs and 11 RBI. Even spring training invite Scott Kazmir, a forgotten former All-Star pitcher with the Rays, is contributing two wins so far with three straight quality starts. Right now, the Tigers, Indians, Royals and Twins are all within three games of the AL Central lead, with the White Sox in the cellar and 5.5 back.

  Can someone please get David Ortiz to shut the fuck up? My God… you want to know why people think you cheated and continue to cheat to this day? Look at your baseball card from back when you were a Minnesota Twin, hitting .260 or so with a career high of 20 home runs to, in 2003 when you used those “vitamins”, hitting 30 home runs and having 100 RBI. The very next year was your first 40 home run season. You followed that up with two more, then the drug testing program you “support” kicked in and you haven’t topped 40 home runs since. As for the “prejudice” remark in regards to the Boston writer mentioning your Dominican roots, it’s just reality pal. Look at how many former Dominican players have been busted cheating, including a few of them that were on the same 2003 report you were. It’s not prejudice; it’s more so being a realist.

  Before I call it a week, I wanted to take a moment and give a warning to all of you out there planning on a relaxing, care free weekend. Maybe you plan on heading to a lake, pond, or natural setting. Well, I give you this warning: beware of beavers. That's right, a dolphin will rape you, but a beaver will fucking kill you! A man in Belarus was bitten by an angry beaver, severing his femoral artery and causing him to bleed to death before he could get to help. Here is the terrifying video proof that nothing will ruin your weekend quicker than an angry beaver:

  That’s all I’ve got for the week, folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers.