“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life son.”
- Dean Wormer, Animal House
When Dean Wormer mutters those immortal words to our beloved hero Bluto, he’s in the process of taking the entire fraternity to task for their lack of discipline when it comes to performing the task of learning while at Faber College. Basically, you have a job to do and you should do it.
Perhaps Dean Wormer needs to be running the Detroit Tigers.
Instead the Tigers are run by Dave Dombrowski, a General Manager who has to admit that he was “shocked” by the news that star first baseman Miguel Cabrera was arrested on Wednesday night on suspicion of drunk driving. But should Dombrowski have been shocked at all? Cabrera, who had been thought to have recovered from his drinking problems after a 2009 arrest stemming from a domestic assault arrest, obviously has a problem and if I’m reading into his state of mind, it should be readily apparent to anyone that is close to the man, including Dombrowski. In his words, given at the time of arrest, “You don’t know anything about my problems.”
Well, if they didn’t know anything about his problems then, the whole world certain does now.
And that is exactly where someone needs to step in, and that someone needs to be the Player’s Union. It would seem to me that a group of peers and advisors, that are expressly set-up for the express purpose of protecting the players and offering them counsel, should have or create a program to offer help to a player like Cabrera. Alcoholism is a self-inflicted disease, but it more often than not requires more than a self-inflicted cure. Whatever Cabrera’s other problems are off the baseball field, he obviously is lacking any sort of support network in which to lean on other than his pal Johnny Walker, and his brothers black and red.
And if education and support aren’t enough, then perhaps tough love is the way to go. The NFL has a stringent suspension policy for players who are arrested on suspicion of DUI and maybe it is time for Major League Baseball to adopt a similar policy. From Tony Larussa in 2007, to the DUI related deaths of Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart and Cardinals reliever Josh Hancock, and of course, the vehicular homicide charges faced by former Yankee Jim Leyritz, there is enough examples across Major League Baseball of people either taking part or being impacted by DUI. Somebody has to get the message that there is a problem here.
Look, I know alcoholism is a problem. My grandfather struggled with it for years and the only reason he walked away from it was because he was told his liver would shut down if he didn’t. That’s part of the reason I don’t personally drink. Not because I believe in prohibition of look down on those that do drink, but because I recognize that the problem runs in my family and that I may possibly have a genetic disposition to it. Also, I understand that I help support him by showing my own self-control.
That’s all I’m saying. Cabrera, or any other player that needs help, should have the people around him that can give him the support he needs. They can’t stand by and claim ignorance or shock. They need to step up and try to identify with a young man that obviously needs something more than a successful season and a ride home from the police station. He needs a friend who can see that he’s weak and provide that little bit of strength to get him through the tough times.
And if that doesn’t work, he may just need a few quick knees to the left thigh to knock some sense into him.
Do the Islanders finally have balls?? A Yankee clause?? Barclay is arising?? Yankees stocking up on retreads?? 18 Games?? My rant on the NFL?? All this and much, much more in this edition of Rants and Raves.
For the record…I am a season ticket holder, Jacksonville Jaguars, and I am for an 18 game schedule. I shouldn’t have to pay big bucks to watch meaningless exhibition games.
Why does it take a month for NFL training camps in the first place? Shouldn’t these high paying slobs be in shape all year round? It is their living, at least they should be in game shape by the start of camp. Let me get paid like them so I can come into camp with a big belly, slow in foot, while raking in millions of dollars.
Yeah, yeah I know all sports have way too long to get into shape before their season starts. Maybe that should change!!
Are the Red Sox that scared of the Yankees?? There is a clause in Carl Crawford’s contract that states if he is traded the club acquiring Carl may not trade him to the Yankees.
Well it looks like retreads are in for the New York Yankees. The Yankees signed pitchers Freddy Garcia and Bartolo Colon to minor league contracts and invited them to Spring Training.
35-year-old Freddy Garcia, who was 12-6 with a 4.64 era, signed a contract for $1.5 million if he makes the Yankees. He does have an opt out by March 29th, but if he makes the team and reaches 30 starts Garcia will receive up to $3.6 million.
Meanwhile, the Yankees signed 37-year old Bartolo Colon to a Minor League Contract with the chance to make $900,000 if he makes the team. Colon did not pitch last year and the last time he had a decent year was in 2005, with the Los Angles Angels when he was 21-8. He hasn’t pitched more than 19 games since then. I would say the Yanks hope he has left something in him.
Both pitchers are trying to compete for a rotation spot behind Sabathia, Burnett and Hughes. Ivan Nova and Sergio Mitre are also in the hunt for spots as a starting pitcher.
A couple of weeks ago Jason Kidd mentioned that the Nets won’t be able to attract free agents until the Barclays Center is complete. He might be right, but the Nets put up a display outside the Nuggets locker room when they played the Nets. It showed the progress of the Center and was meant to get the attention of Carmelo Anthony.
If the Nets were smart they would update the display and let all players on opposing teams see what the “State of the Art” Center looks like presently and what it will look like when it is completed.
I just don’t get it. He only played in 5 games this season and won’t play for the rest of the season. So how in the world did Yao Ming get voted in as a starter for the NBA all-star game?? I know he is popular, he is likeable, but to be selected by the fans to start is totally wrong.
Speaking of totally wrong. What’s up with Gilbert Arenas? Last week, Gilbert was served child support and custody papers as he left the court during halftime of a game played against the Miami Heat. Ex-girl friend, Laura Mendoza Govan filed a petition in California seeking custody and child support for 3 children that she says are Arenas’. She claims the he financially cut her off. Laura is looking for $109,000 monthly is support payments. Gilbert claims he did not cut her off, but is actually paying her $20,000 a month.
Chuck Tanner, the manager of the 1979 “We are Family” World Series Champion Pittsburgh Pirates passed away at the age of 82. The Pirates were facing elimination in the series against the Baltimore Orioles 3 games to 1 when they made a dramatic turnaround to win the series 4 games to 3. Tanner also managed the White Sox, Athletics, Pirates and Braves. Chuck is also in the record books as a player, as he hit the first pitch he saw in the majors for a homerun while playing for the Milwaukee Braves. But, he will mostly be remember for his teams historic turnaround in the World Series. When down 3 games to 1, Tanner woke up to learn his mother had passed away. He stuck with the team while grieving and made a move which at the time sounded strange. He started 4 game winner Jim Rooker to lead the team in game 5 instead of Burt Blyleven. It turned out to be the right move as Rooker held the Orioles to only one run in 5 innings as the Pirates won game 5 and turned the momentum their way, and as they say “the rest is history.”
Maybe it’s a good thing the New Jersey Nets didn’t sign DeMarcus Cousins. He got into a altercation with teammate Donte Green because DeMarcus didn’t get the ball on the final possession of a 99-97 loss to Oklahoma City over the weekend. Cousins was not allowed to join the team to Phoenix. One source said Cousins and Green argued in the locker room, with Cousins telling everyone he wanted respect, regardless of his rookie status. Cousins is averaging 13.9 points and 8.0 rebounds per game.
The Nets didn’t draft Cousins because they were concerned about his attitude. Well maybe the Nets were right all along.
The New York Islanders haven’t been a tough team in nearly three years, But did they let loose against the Penguins in which the Islanders won 9-3. Here is the rockem-sockem Islanders in action:
At the end of the game the Penguins had no one left on the bench.
There were 346 minutes in penalties.
Pictures by: Barclays Center Arial view - netsdaily.com, Boston Red Sox Logo - minot43.homestead.com, New York Yankees - frontrowking.com, New York Islanders - pages.videotron.com, NFL Logo - midwestsportsfans.com, Freddy Garcia - blog.prorumors.com, Bartolo Colon - captnsblog.files.wordpress.com, DeMarcus Cousins - sportsocean.com/wp-content, Chuck Tanner - thirdage.com, Gilbert Arenas - hoopedia.nba.com, Yao Ming - yao-ming.tripod.com,
Here we are again at the apex of the work week. Since I started doing the Wednesday deep thoughts blog, I find that the weeks fly by. So, now we get to the good part...Pitchers and Catchers report! Yahoo!! Hang on my snow weary brethren; spring is on the way. Cactus and Grapefruit League games will soon begin and baseball will once again be on the daily agenda.
As excited as I am to hear the sound of leather balls against wooden bats, the Pujols saga threatens to ruin the season before it even begins. Why must the media do this time and time again? Albert Pujols is the best player of our generation. Seriously, this guy is an OPS machine. 30 HR's, 100 RBI's at a minimum each year and a lifetime batting average of .331. Not only is the Cards first baseman a great player, but he is also a great guy. He has been a model citizen giving back again and again to his community. Now, he will be painted by many as a greedy professional athlete. The Cardinals have a real problem. If they do not manage to sign Albert the Cardinal fans will go berserk. But, if they sign Pujols to a 10 year deal, he will be 41 when the contract is over.
Now I read that Tony La Russa is trying to blame the MLBPA for pushing Pujols to sign a giant contract. Here is what LaRussa had to say:
“I know what he’s going through with the union and, to some extent, his representatives, because his representatives are getting beaten up by the union,” La Russa said. “Set the bar, set the bar. That’s [expletive], really and truly, but you’ve got to deal with it …
“I know that he’s getting pressured. And it’s not arm-twisting. It’s dropping anvils on your back and through the roof of your house.”
So, Tony...what proof do you have of this arm twisting?
La Russa admitted he had no first-hand knowledge of the MLBPA trying to influence contract negotiations. He called it “a guaranteed assumption” and said “the union would be the first to admit they’re going to push him. ”
So, players union...what say you?
“We have had no conversations with Albert or Dan Lozano or any representative of Albert’s about the numbers,” MLBPA executive director Michael Weiner told Yahoo! Sports. “No pressure. Not even any conversations. Our concern is that players make an informed decision when exercising their rights under the contract. Knowing Albert, knowing Danny, a very sophisticated player and representative, they’re going to make well-considered decisions. ”
Well this really sucks. I can't really blame Tony La Russa, as I would be pissed at the prospect of losing an Albert Pujols too. What did he Cardinal brass expect would happen? They knew this day was coming, right? I don't see this ending well for anyone and maybe this will give the fans another place to focus their anger? Nice try Tony, but I don't buy it.
I truly hope that Pujols stays with the Cardinals. But...if he did decide to leave, where would he go? I am positive that the Cardinals don't want to see Pujols go to the Cubs. There is one team that does not have a proven 1B...the Texas Rangers. I don't see Texas paying this type of money again, but how scary would that Ranger lineup be with Hamilton and Pujols hitting back to back...yeeoowww! Come on Albert, you really don't need 300 million. Let ARod be the douche, you are better than that.
I have to add one thing...Beeze, I saw your comment about Pujols lagging last year as he "only" hit 39 doubles and was more slugger than complete player. While it is somewhat a true statement, it is a bit misleading...last year ARod hit 29 2B's. Prince Fielder hit 25. Ryan Howard hit 23. Adrian Gonzalez hit 33. David Ortiz hit 36. The thing that is amazing about Pujols is the lack of strikeouts. Except for his rookie season, last year was his career high for strikeouts with 76. This is more telling...Ortiz had 145, ARod had 98, Fielder had 138, Howard had 157 and Gonzalez had 114. Pujols is a threat to win the triple crown each year, it is just going to be much more expensive for him to continue doing so in a Cardinal uniform.
I read a great story about Jim Leyland. This year's trip to spring training will be a bit different. Leyland will be joined by his son, Pat. Here is a summary of the article:
He was all ready to go to the University of Maryland last year until the Tigers drafted him in the eighth round and signed him. And now Pat Leyland is here with his dad, not as the manager’s son like the past five years but a uniformed Tiger, the youngest one in camp and among the youngest in any. If he played any other position, Pat would report in March like the rest of the minor leaguers, but teams need extra catchers to handle the volume of pitchers early in spring, and so the 19-year-old gets a treat for the next few weeks.
It would be nice to manage Pat. Leyland may sneak him into an exhibition game before he heads out with the first round of cuts. Pat’s locker is in the far left corner of the clubhouse, sandwiched between other young catchers’, and near an exit door. He was busy Sunday marking his new gear with the No. 77, not bothering to concern himself with when dad would send him back with the other kids.
“He’s very busy getting his team ready, and that’s what he’s here for,” Pat said. “It’s not family bonding time. He’s got a big job to do.”
Now that is cool...
Since I work in the mortgage industry, I am very familiar with the government mandating new rules. Here is a new rule that members of Congress are kicking around. What do you think?
WASHINGTON (AP)—Two Senate Democrats are urging Major League Baseball and the players union to ban smokeless tobacco, such as chew and dip.
Sens. Frank R. Lautenberg of New Jersey and Dick Durbin of Illinois say products like dip and chew endanger players’ health and send “a dangerous message” to young fans.
In a letter, the senators urged Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and union chief Michael Weiner to agree to a ban in their next collective bargaining agreement. The current agreement expires in December.
Smokeless tobacco is banned in the minor leagues but not in the majors.
Union spokesman Greg Bouris said Tuesday he expects the issue to be discussed during collective bargaining talks. Rob Manfred, the league’s executive vice president for labor relations, said the league is striving for a ban.
I dipped Copenhagen for 20 years and damn was it hard to quit. From what I have seen, seeds have taken over most dugouts anyway and that is a good thing.
That's all I have for this week.
Here is a bit of Jack Handey for you on your way out:
"Have you ever seen a child, on his way to school, have a car drive past and splash him, and then he just stands there and thinks if he should just go to school or go home and change and be late... And then I drove past and splashed him again! "
"I love going down to the elementary school, watching all the kids jump and shout, but they dont know Im using blanks."
Thanks for stopping by and feel free to comment...
I hope everybody enjoyed their Valentine's Day, I know I did! Hit a very nice Mexican restaurant which had a live Mariachi band going from table to table asking for requests. Of course, the stupid people up here only wanted to hear One Ton Tomato or La Bamba.
NFL. I see where Cam Newton’s Daddy just isn’t satisfied sitting in the background. On Thursday, this douche bag had a “media only” workout session for his Cam. Wonder how much “Daddy Dearest” made off that?
I have to tread really light on this but Mark Sanchez, what the hell are you thinking???
MLB. I’m gonna hold off on ranting about Michael Young until I see how Ron Washington decides to use him. He’s the Manager, so this could be very easily fixed.
Chuck Tanner passing at age 81 after a long illness sucks. One of the original “players coaches” and the skipper of the “We are Family” Pittsburgh Pirates of 1979! RIP my man!
NBA. The last link to what was great about the NBA ended abruptly Thursday afternoon when Jerry Sloan retired after 23 years with the Jazz amid rumors that he had a fallout with Deron Williams. We’ll never know for sure, but I find it hard to believe that Jerry Sloan backed down based on that. He was one of the toughest bastards in NBA history. As a coach, it’s been said that Sloan has done more with less AND IT’S TRUE!!! Hey Jerry, fuck the NBA – you’ve given these ingrates your heart and soul for almost 50 years! Go into retirement, relax, and enjoy what’s important to you.
I caught part of the Jazz game against Phoenix Friday Night. The Jazz played tough until the end, but watching Phoenix get hot from the three point land makes you wonder what they can do now with Vince Carter, Pietrus, and Gortat!
On Friday Night, the Cavaliers ended their 26 game losing streak by err, clipping DVT’s Clippers. Good for the Cavs. There has been some talk about Cavs players having no urgency, and Byron Scott let ‘em have it, as well he should. But then again, they lose a home game to Washington? Err...
I know Beeze hates this, but the fact that the Court Jester got punked once again by the Celtics is K-A-R-M-A!!! That’s 0-3 for the team that Stern (err, Wade) built.
NHL. The New York Islanders have sent a message, and Pittsburgh STILL isn’t getting it. The Isles are tired of the Goon Squad in Pittsburgh and made it a point to call players up just for this one game. Here’s the bottom line – the players know that the NHL won’t act and are getting to the point of policing their own.
I know that the NHL is in a quandary here, but one of the reasons that “Cindy” received a cheap shot was because the players tried to send a message to the NHL that they’re tired of Matt Cooke and his wayward knee, but let me ask, why won’t the players go after that coward Cooke, or am I just missing it?
Here’s the latest:
Quite honestly, it’s time for somebody to go “Youngblood” all over this Racki wannabe.
Mario Lemieux made things even more ridiculous by saying that the punishments against the Islanders don’t go far enough and now he’s threatening to leave ownership? I’d say good riddance you piece of shit. The point was made today about him not having a problem when Ulf Samuelson was doing damage on his behalf, so what’s so different about now?
Now it’s on to you Ottawa. There are big-time accusations that Carrie Underwood had something to do with the trade of Mike Fisher to, of all places, NASHVILLE! Could this be another Gretzky to LA fiasco? Nah!!! This may not have been engineered by the couple, but you could see where folks in Ottawa are up in arms. I would hope that it’s never proven that this is true because if it is, Fisher will NEVER live it down. I’m sure players already were on his ass calling him Mr. Underwood and all, but damn…
College Basketball. Hey Slow-hio State,
Wisky clowned you again? First #1 in Football, then #1 in Basketball, and I’m lovin’ it! Of course on Monday Night, Kansas had to go and screw things up by losing to K-State. Dummies!
There’s some rag out in New York State claiming that Scoop Jardine is out there point shaving. I hope that ain’t true.
Mustang Basketball. The boys lost to the Redskins, but rather than give up 80 points, they only gave up 52, and most of that was to a hot three-point shooter! They didn’t take practice too seriously and I had to lay the law down on ‘em. They lost to a far better team on Thursday, but the last two games this season are this week and are definitely winnable.
Rant of the Week – Oprah Winfrey. On Friday morning, the man hater struck and said we have to give President Obama respect.
I agree, the Presidency is very important and IT should be respected. But Oprah, since I know you check out the Gab AND have the Presidents uh, Ear, how ‘bout letting him due to the tax code, I (and just about every military retiree) just lost $50 a month in pension just two weeks after I was laid off due to “corporate restructuring”. Yeah Mr. President, you get all the respect in the world, you’ve saved the economy and its going in the right direction. What a nimrod!
Golf. Break out the Caddyshack references boys and girls, Carl Spackler won the Pebble Beach Pro-Am! I was shocked to read that a lot of the players don’t want to play with Bill Murray. Dude’s outgoing and fun, and the fans want to enjoy the golf experience. Hey Golf, keep the buttoned down shit reserved for Augusta, and the British Open – more Happy Gilmore type stuff will make Golf far more interesting!
Rant of the Week #2 – The Grammys. When you have a guy whose been dead for over a year (Michael Jackson) who is nominated for an award tells me that there is no true and original music left out there!
Before I go… Check out Granny throwing the beatdown on these morons trying to hammer their way into thieving a jewelry store…
Did you catch the part where she comes running down the street to punk these bitches out? You know what she said afterwards? She said she felt uncomfortable with all the attention and wants to be left alone.
Before I go #2… Not-so-little Fan made the trek to beautiful San Diego to catch one of his boys graduating from USMC Boot Camp when he and his friends ran into an ole Gab favorite, GYSGT R. Lee Ermey, who promptly called the boys “mamby pambies”. I generally frown on people calling out my kid, but in the case of “Gunny”, I’ll take that as a badge of honor – I think my son did too!
Well it's Valentine's Day...Another horse shit day to make us spend money, and say I love you to the people we should probably just say it to every day...What a bunch of crap! But yes, I got Mrs. Beeze flowers, and I got her chocolate covered strawberries...WHY? because I like to put my dick in her, so I do what needs to be done for the greater good!
Last week, after Monday's post I wasn't around at all...I just wasn't very inspired to write...I didn't care what was going on...I was tired...And honestly, there were nights that I just wanted to hang with my kids...Especially the baby...She's my favorite! She doesn't talk...She always smiles at me, and acts like I'm the cat's ass...She's my girl!
Anyway, I was trying to figure out what to write about this week...Well with all this Valentine's love in the air, I thought I'd bring the hate...People say you shouldn't hate...Well, hate is a normal, human feeling/reaction...It's as normal as masturbation! And probably a more common feeling than love...So I'm bringing some hate to your Valentine's Day!
Right now, I'm hating the 250 people I hate to cook for at The Fish House Saturday night...What a needy bunch of cunts! Who knew so many assholes had so many horseshit allergies to so many things...If you have a Shellfish Allergy, you can't eat the Lobster Bisque dummy...Hell, you probably don't want to eat at a seafood joint!
What else am I hating? The New York Islanders and Pittsburgh Penguins are always on that list, but after Friday night, I see some new candidates for the Skull Fuck Hall of Fame...Clearly the Islanders were pissed their shitty goalie got laid out with one punch a couple weeks ago, so Friday they were going to send a message...Here are some numbers from the game...17 Fighting Majors...59 Penalties...300+ Penalty Minutes...9 Game Misconducts...The Penguins ended the game with 6 skaters...The Islanders ended with 9...
Okay, I'm all for the fighting in Hockey, but this one got a bit out of control...I'm adding the refs to the Hate list, because these dolts should have known some shit was going to happen...I hate the Penguins, although in many situations the Islanders were the instigators, and taking some cheap shots...But the Pens weren't innocent...Let's go to the video...everything is included in this one...
The Islanders I have always hated thanks to my loyalty to the New York Rangers...But the shit some of those guys pulled has taken it up a notch...No wonder you're the worst team in the league...Between the dummy owner...The fuck-tard GM...The bad coach, and the hack goon-squad, you dopes don't stand a chance...
Next on my shit list...Over-positive Cleveland fan...I've beat on these people before, so why stop now? Yes, there are people trying to give the Cavaliers' record setting losing streak a positive spin..."Hey the Cavs will have a better chance at winning the Draft Lottery" SO! A better chance, big fucking shit...Draft a potential superstar, and watch him leave a few years later...AWESOME!
But worse is the Cleveland fan who wants to point out that this losing streak "doesn't define us"...No shit ass-hat! I don't play basketball, let alone for that shit team...Basketball and the Cavaliers come no where near close to defining me...No silly sports team does...And if you are concerned with talking-heads in the media using sports teams to define you as a person or your city, well dummy, you are their target audience...
Lastly, I'm going to hate Neil Young...This one hurts a bit because I always liked Neil Young...But then I heard a newer song of his..."Angry World"...Well if wasn't already a "angry world" before, it is now after hearing this shit...
Didn't Neil write, "It's better to burn out, then to fade away"...Well I have to say, Neil, You've burned out, and I wish you would have faded away...What a steaming pile of shit!
Now, I'm getting out of here...If you don't recall, the Mrs. and I had a deal based on her performing oral favors, and well, she's built up a back-log...