First things first, my friends.  The Tavern has been newly outfitted with a whirlpool tub in the lobby.  Yessir.  We go high class here.  In the newest installment of what kind of random destruction has Mo caused, we find the Lowes delivery people screwing the pooch on my contractor, so he goes off and does a smaller job while the Lowes delivery people are supposedly off doing their jobs elsewhere when guess who shows up?  Yup.  Not knowing where to put the stuff, they delivered the tub into my living room.  This makes sense of course.  
 

This is my life.  Embarrassing.  Which brings me to the actual tale of the Roundtable forum this week: the length of baseball games.

 

It's just so embarrassing and a disgrace when it takes so long to get to the end of a night out at the ballpark.  I mean, I just hate it when the game takes 4-hours when I've got some places to go after chilling out, and paying $8.50 for a can of Bud Light.  All I'm doing is waiting.  Good grief, this is so boring. Whether or not you agree with the premise that Joe West assumes in his criticism of the duration of play when the Red Sox and Yankees play, much like when paying attention to who funds research behind pharmacological research, you have to pay attention to this one significant piece in this report from NorthJersey.com:  umpires are evaluated on how quickly a game moves.  So, tell me again why it is embarrassing for a team to use pitch count as strategy and to take as long as it takes?  That's right, it's embarrassing for the UMPIRE when it takes that long - he gets two demerits.  Got it.

What is truly embarrassing, Mr. West, is the recent study showing that American parents are among the worst behaved in the world at kids sporting events.  THAT, Joe West, is embarrassing, not a game that goes an hour-and-fifteen-minutes longer than an average game.  What is embarrassing is when an umpire can't make up his mind in a timely fashion or just wants to dick around with someone.  THAT'S the disgrace and embarrassment.  What the players do in playing the game is not embarrassing.  

 

Take a good look at this guy.  Ask yourself if this is a guy that should be worried about how embarrassing other people present in public?  That ad homenem aside, he goes on to talk about these two teams being the best in baseball.  Um, it's possible that there's a reason for that.  Not claiming cause and effect, but I am saying it's about as competitive as baseball gets when the Yankees and Sox play.  You think that it could be a respect thing?

2009: Red Sox 9 - Yankees 9 (Yankees Win World Series)

2008: Red Sox 9 - Yankees 9

2007: Red Sox 8 - Yankees 10 (Red Sox win World Series)

3-year span and 54 games.  In that period the Yankees have beaten the Sox two more times than the Sox have beaten them.  That's pretty freaking competitive.  So, Joe, do a baseball fan a favor?  Stop worrying about your own evaluation, and start worrying about baseball.  Calling the balls and strikes, and the integrity of the game.  Although rumor has it he was seen in the airport with his wife recently, this rumor is false.

And just what makes these teams so damn competitive?  Well, for one thing, they're in the big leagues.  Used in this context, the meaning is not "major leagues," but "Big Leagues," as in money and business.  Their respective ownerships are heavy financial players and when you get to the level at which they are, business is not a game.  

Forbes just released the highest valued major league franchises.  Numbers 1 and 2?  The only thing that needs to be said addressing the meanings of those designations is $1.6 B-b-b-billion and $870 Million.  There really is no guessing which team is where, is there?  For further context, the average MLB team is worth $491 Million.  The Red Sox also happen to be second in terms of operating income with $40 Million, and although the Yankees have revenues almost twice that of the Red Sox, their operating income is almost half; their debt to value is 89% which is that 89% of their value is taken up with debt - in this category they're #2.  Then again, they have a kick ass new stadium and a shiny new Commissioners' trophy.  The Yankees are the only MLB team valued over a billion dollars, but are in the company of The New York Giants & Jets.

We're three, maybe four games into the season.  Of 30 teams, there's but one without a win.  The Houston Astros.  That's a bummer, kids.  Even the Marlins and the Royals have won a game.

Meanwhile, I've been dealing with some labor unrest here at the Tavern.  Seems that people don't like when you tell them they just can't drink beer on their lunch break.  I do appreciate you fine readers are here crossing the picket line.  Of course, the whirlpool in the lobby doesn't hurt business any.  Now, if I could get Beeze out of it, someone else my get a chance.

Speaking of Beeze, this week was my wedding anniversary, so I thought I'd leave you with a little love song he and I wrote together.

Happy Thursday Gabbers!

A lot has happened this week, but before I get on with my normal routine I would like to congratulate both Don Nelson and the Charlotte Bobcats for their accomplishments. Don Nelson became the winningest coach in NBA history with his 1,333rd victory, overtaking Lenny Wilkins as the Warriors defeated the Timberwolves last night. And congrats to the Bobcats for clinching the first playoff spot in franchise history with a win against the Hornets (ironically the franchise that left Charlotte for New Orleans).

I would also like to congratulate myself on having the least shit-up bracket in the bracket challenge. Even though I was hoping Butler would pull off the upset (especially at the end with that half-court shot - that would have been awesome), I must say that overall it was a great tournament with a lot of upsets and some great games. (On a side note: I'm still waiting on my cash prize to arrive in the mail, so fRag, Felber or Sully if you could please take care of that I would appreciate it, thanks.)

In the who gives a shit section of the news, Brett Favre became a grandfather. I know it's important to him and his family, but do we really need to know this information? I know the media is obsessed with Favre and everything he does, but I really don't need to know about his personal life - just let me know if he's going to play football or not, and leave it at that.

The biggest news story of the week has to be the trade of Donovan McNabb that sent the All Pro quarterback to the Redskins. Wait, the Redskins? The same Redskins who are a division rival of the team who traded McNabb away? That doesn't make much sense, but then again we are talking about Andy Reid, who has been known to make a stupid decision or two in his career.

As a former Eagles fan, allow me to weigh in on the McNabb trade. The Eagles made the biggest mistake they have made in the last 10 years. Not only was McNabb a Pro Bowl quarterback and one of the best quarterbacks in the league, but he was also the franchise leader in just about every statistical category and the only quarterback to lead the team to 5 NFC title games. (Granted, they only won one of them, but he had the Eagles in competition for the Super Bowl every year he was under center, something a lot of teams can't say about their quarterback.)

The Redskins bent the Eagles over the table, pulled out the vaseline, and royally fucked the Eagles out of the best quarterback in the NFC East. All they had to give up for McNabb was a 2nd round pick and a 3rd or 4th round pick in next years draft. (For the pick to become a 3rd rounder, McNabb has to make the Pro Bowl, or reach a certain snap-count and the Skins have to win at least 9 games. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that both of those happen and the Eagles will end up with a 2nd and 3rd round pick, but they still get the short end of the stick on this deal - McNabb was just too good of a player to give up to a team in the same division.)

Like a lot of people who have made comments on this trade, I don't have a problem with the Eagles trading McNabb. I mean, they did draft Kevin Kolb to eventually take over the team. But, my problem is the fact that they traded him within the division and will have to face him twice a year for the next 3-5 years. So, I hope Andy Reid is prepared to be reminded of the stupid decision he made for the next 10 times the Eagles and Redskins square off, and Donovan torches the Eagles secondary and makes Andy tuck his tail between his legs and try to hide behind his playsheet in shame.

Perhaps the person who got the worst end of the deal (other than the Eagles) is Jason Campbell. Once again Campbell has to deal with the feeling of being unwanted as a quarterback, and now has to once again deal with the adversity that will be thrown his way. Of course, it could work out great for Campbell, because he will most likely be traded out of Washington and could end up on a team that could give him the fresh start he needs to be successful in the league. I can't imagine Washington holding on to him for too long, because they are obviously going to go with McNabb at quarterback and would have no real reason to keep Campbell on the roster, especially if the rumors are true and they are still in the market to draft a quarterback with their first round pick. I have a feeling they will deal Campbell to Buffalo or Oakland for a few picks to give McNabb some weapons to work with on offense, and will upgrade their team to compete in the NFC East.

I've never been a fan of the Redskins, but I will be cheering for them at least twice next season, because I genuinely hope they beat the living shit out of the Eagles - if for no other reason than to stick it to the douchebag fans who offered to give McNabb a ride to the airport once the news of the trade was made public. These are the same assholes who booed when McNabb's name was called out on draft day, because the Eagles didn't do what the fans wanted and draft Ricky "Cheech" Williams with the #2 overall pick. (Don't you just love how stupid fans can be at times? They wanted Williams and were pissed when they got McNabb, yet McNabb has been one of the best quarterbacks in the league for the past 10 years and Williams could barely stay in the league because of marijuana problems up until two years ago when he resurrected his career in the Dolphins' wildcat formation.) So to all the fans who are glad McNabb got traded: don't come back crying like a bitch when the Skins come to Philly and beat the shit out of the Eagles, and McNabb throws for 400 yards and 5 TDs en route to a division title. Just remember: you got exactly what you wanted.

Well, that's all I have for this week. Please leave your thoughts in the comments section and be sure to check out some of the other great stuff we have going on here at the Gab!

Until next Thursday...

What an insane week we’ve had so far folks; baseball is finally back, college basketball has wrapped up, and the NFL is doing it’s best to upstage them all after Donovan McNabb is finally dealt after two fucking years of rumors… and there’s a lot more to get to, so let’s get down to business.

          Opening Day in baseball… the day where everyone is a contender, even the folks in Kansas City, Pittsburgh and Toronto think they’ve got a shot. Probably the biggest relief of this opening day, not a mention of steroids, not a single scandal, just baseball at it’s purest. Gotta say that one of my favorite images of the day came from Atlanta, where “Hammerin Hank” Aaron threw out the first pitch to rookie phenom Jason Heyward in sort of a “passing of the torch”. It didn’t take the young man long to show everyone just what all the hype is all about, hitting a home run on his first Major League swing, finishing his Major League debut by going 2-5 with that homer and 4 RBI’s.

          The stars shone bright on this opening day; Albert Pujols hit a pair of bombs for the Cardinals, Tim Lincecum was able to pick up a W in his first step towards winning his third Cy Young in three Major League seasons, and Nelson Cruz of the Texas Rangers showed why he is a darkhorse candidate for AL MVP by driving in 4 of the Rangers 5 runs. As for the fighting Phils, they got big days from two of their new guns… Doc Halladay was dominant on the mound, and Placido Polanco, one of my former favorite Tigers, drove in 6 including hitting one of two opening day grand slams.

          As for the Tigers, they open the season with an 8-4 win over Zach Greinke and the Royals. Greinke was good in his start, but the Tigers really did a great job of making him work, showing a lot more patience at the plate to lead the season off. I’ll tell you, if Magglio Ordonez is this locked in all season, we might just have a shot at the division.

          And before I move on… remembering Neil Diamond’s epic performance during Sunday night’s opener between the Yankees and Sox…Beezer, this one’s for you:

          But topping it all off was the NFL, as the Philadelphia Eagles traded Donovan McNabb, the quarterback who led them to the NFC Championship Game in 5 of his 11 seasons there, within their division to the Washington Redskins for a second round pick this year and a 3^rd or 4^th rounder next year. GREAT move by the ‘Skins… no fucking way you get a quarterback of this caliber in the second round anymore… or a 3^rd or 4^th rounder in 2011. Really have to wonder what the hell the Eagles were thinking here. I mean, trading the guy within your division after the years of shit he’s taken from the douche bag fans that seem to overflow out of that city. Especially when your secondary isn’t exactly in it’s 2004 form anymore… now McNabb gets two chances a year to exact his revenge… and I think he does it.

          I can understand WHY you trade McNabb… Kolb looked great in the two games he filled in last season, and his accuracy might even be a better fit for this offense than McNabb was. The WHERE of it is what really throws me for a fucking loop. Make the Redskins draft their own guy… waste the #4 overall pick on Jimmy Claussen instead of trading their second rounder for a quarterback already on a Pro Bowl level and being able to use that #4 pick now on a top notch left tackle.

          As for McNabb… I really want to hear what this guy wants to do to this team next year. I know, this is the “PC” era of sports and all… but let’s just let this guy cut loose for a day. I want to hear how badly he wants to not just beat Philly twice next year, but fucking destroy them. Look, the guy has been taking abuse since the day he was drafted… the douches wanted Ricky William’s high ass instead. You know that, on top of the love/hate whirlwind trip that was his career in Philly, he wants blood next year. I’m not a Redskin fan by any means, but hell, even I want it for him. Now, as much as I bitch about players with big mouths, I want to hear it out of McNabb instead of the whole “it’s just another game” cliché.

          And memo to the Eagles, make sure you spend that #37 pick wisely… probably on a shut down corner… assuming you can find one there. Because #5 is coming for you next year, and though I’m sure being the rare class act he is, he harbors no ill will towards any of his current teammates in Philly, but you KNOW he wants to embarrass any and everyone in an Eagles jersey two times next season. But that’s more so McNabb wanting to prove something to Laurie and Andy Reid than anything else… not to mention the few thousand classless douches that make up the majority of the Eagles fan base.

          In another great NFL story… a judge has ordered former Lions receiver and all around failure at life Charles Rogers to repay $6.1 million of the $9 million dollars he was given as a signing bonus as a rookie. At least now he’s got an excuse when the mothers of his fifty some kids come asking for money he’ll never pay. The guy is about the biggest waste of talent I have ever seen, not to mention space, oxygen and for sure any more of my time! Good luck paying that off, champ.

          And now to the bad news… yeah, Duke is the national champion in men’s college basketball. The Butler Bulldogs gave them a fight, but when you shoot 34% from the floor… you really don’t deserve a championship. But unfortunately it had to be Duke and their fuckin rat bastard coach Mike Kzyckz…however the fuck you spell it, that came out the winner, giving Coach K his 4^th national title, good for second all-time.

          I am a certified Duke hater… there are very few things in this world I hate more than the fuckin silver spoon Blue Devils and their douche of a coach. The following is a list of the things that I hate the most, with Duke heavily featured…

1.     Matt Millen

2.     The New York Yankees

3.     The L.A. Lakers

4.     Duke

5.     Sidney Crosby

6.     Matt Millen’s parents

7.     Kanye West

8.     Every other rapper

9.     Matt Millen’s ancestors

10.                         A-Roids

And as if Duke and their douchebag coach and asshole “Cameron Crazies” having a championship basically handed to them by the NCAA seeding committee wasn’t bad enough, now I have to hear douches like Skip Bayliss saying that Coach K is the greatest coach in college basketball’s history. The main argument… that Wooden had two Hall of Famers in Walton and Alcindor, and Coach K hasn’t had any. Is it really Wooden’s fault that both Walton and Alcindor went on to have great NBA careers, or that all of Coach K’s “stars” wound up being either flops or good but not great in the NBA? Look, at the end of the day, Wooden is the gold standard when it comes to coaching college basketball… ten championships trumps anything that any douche with a fuckin Hitler haircut and weasel-like voice can do on tobacco road. Not since the Yankees won last year have I been hoping for some form of a parade-related catastrophy for a championship team.

     As for the UConn women’s team… okay, you won your 78^th straight game and your second straight championship yesterday… and you actually won a close game. I’ll give them a little credit here, regardless of how shitty the competition is, it’s amazing to win 78 in a row, as well as two championships. But to even consider comparing their streak to the streak UCLA went on is just fuckin lunacy. And no, no matter how much ESPiN wants me to believe it, I’m not changing my mind on this one. So congrats to the lady Huskies… but do yourself a favor. Let somebody else win a championship so maybe somebody somewhere will take your sport seriously for a change.

     And before I go, I’d like to say how disgusted I was at the lack of tough questions asked in Tiger Wood’s “press conference” on Monday. This guy really has to be the most coddled, protected jerk off in the history of sports, and I am sure as hell getting sick of it. You want to “connect with your fans” Tiger, how about answering a question you fucking PR guy didn’t pre-approve and write and rehearse an answer for for once douchebag.

     Well, that’s going to do it for me this week folks. Thanks as always for reading, and be sure to let me know what you think on the way out. Happy Hump Day Gabbers.

Question of the Week.    Is sports better now that you have 24/7 coverage of Baseball, or was it better when we as kids only had the NBC Saturday Game of the Week and Monday Night Baseball?  I say back in the day because it was more special.  Today, we’re all spoiled.

Music Pick of the Week – Foreigner!   

1.  March Madness to April Sadness.    As far as I am concerned this is where moral victories count.   Hey Butler, hold your head high, you did everything you could possibly do and then some.  When sports historians look back at CBB for 2010, they won’t remember Kook University winning it all, they’re gonna remember tiny little Butler and just how close they came!

I guess now with Butler’s run, perhaps it’s the time for the NCAA to start putting more second place teams from mid-majors, rather than eighth place teams from large conferences into the tournament.  Just a thought…

2.  MLB.   I read where Nolan Ryan expects 92 wins out of the Texas Rangers provided that there aren’t critical injuries and players don’t underperform.  Duh!!!  I’d expect 92 wins out of that team as well – if they don’t then heads should roll.

Curt Schilling being hired as a baseball analyst for ESPN?  What boys, not enough egos there already?  Now Nomah is one too?  Damn ESPiN, if you weren’t already in the tank for the Sawx, you are now.

What are the Oakland A’s doing?  Cutting their leading power hitter, Jack Cust is stupid – he’s only averaging 27 HR’s per season over the three that he’s been a major leaguer.  Hey Jack, step down to the minors and come back with a vengeance.  When you do and your contract is up, stick it to ‘em.

Opening Day has shown me that hitters are so far ahead of pitchers right now that its pretty amazing. 

3.  NHL.  So San Jose righted the ship a little, then goes out and gives up a 2-0 lead over the Avs, lose in overtime and gives the President’s Trophy to Washington.  Wake up boys!!!

4.  NBA.   The Milwaukee Bucks losing Andrew Bogut on a brutal crash to the floor sucks, not only for Bogut and the Bucks, but for the NBA who is in desperate need for something new and fresh. 

The New Jersey Nets want Jeff Van Gundy to be their new Head Coach?  That’s just stupid!  This guy’s defensive philosophies as well as lack of an offensive philosophy have put the clampdown on what the NBA is famous for – showtime offenses.  It’s bad enough that the NBA is scripted, but this kind of play has made the NBA downright boring.

Monta Ellis of the Golden State Warriors complaining that he doesn’t get the respect that he feels he should, while trashing Stephen Curry.  Monta, you play for the Warriors, how much respect should you get?  Remember, it is the NBA.  You have great game, but your mouth is your own biggest enemy.  Please hunker down, play ball, shut your cake-hole, lead by example, and get your team to the playoffs, then you’ll get the respect back that you lost when you started acting like a diva, no BITCH!

Well its April, so that means Mr. X (aka Phil Jackson) is trying to continue his yearly drive to manipulate the zebras by complaining about officiating.  Interestingly enough, this season the NBA FINALLY rose up and fined this pompous jackass $35,000 for running it.  I can't believe it myself, but it looks like Stu Jackson finally grew a set and stood up to that whiny little bitch in LA!

5.  NFL.   So the union is advising its players to save 60% of their pay for their personal expenses should the NFL pull the lockout card in 2011?  It would be the dumbest thing to do if the NFL locks out.  It’s cliché, but billionaires fighting with millionaires on how to split money isn’t gonna sit well with most fans who are just barely eeking out an existence in this economy, yet looking to football as a short diversion from their own real problems.

The Washington Redskins backfield sure is getting crowded, isn’t it?  Clinton Portis, Larry Johnson, and now Willie Parker?  I know Mikey the Rat likes to run the ball, but three runners?  Of course, all three RB’s have histories of injuries.  Perhaps they can combine to make one full season!  Oh yeah Mikey, you’d better upgrade that O-Line.

While we’re on the Redskins, picking up McNabb was a great accomplishment, outright theft, and a violation of the Eagles spinchter!   I guess now the Dead-skins go with a O-Lineman at #4.  Now that Jimmy Clausen smack can stop.

Hey San Francisco 49ers, you white wine sipping freaks running the show couldn’t put together a better deal than what the Foreskins gave up for McNabb?  Hey John York (owner of the 49ers), 7-9 and 8-8 for the 49ers year in and year out SUCKS and is UNACCEPTABLE!  You are the asshole who single-handedly destroyed a 20 year NFL dynasty and are doing nothing to get your team back to respectability – Pull your head out of your ass!!!  What’s next, emulating the Raiders? 

Props to the Dallas Cow-patties for getting rid of Flozell Adams.  There was no way that they could keep this guy, he is just too heavily penalized and his skills have eroded to the point that he had to result to constant holding and cheap shots which injure defensive players and damn near starting brawls. 

6.  NFL Draft.  We’ve heard a lot about various names popping up, but until last week I haven’t heard much about Colt McCoy.  Personally, I think that he (along with Toby Gearhart) may just be the most ready right now for the jump to the NFL.  The knock on McCoy was his lack of arm strength, but let me ask this question, if he gets put into a west coast type system, arm strength isn’t required because its mostly “deek and dunk”.  So why the concern?

Douche Bag of the Week .    As usual, take your pick. 

(1)   Bakersfield DA for not pursuing charges against Joey Porter.  Guess its OK to be DUI, rolling up on a cop who has somebody pulled over, then run smack at said cop.

(2)   Cleveland Browns DE Shawn Rogers getting busted at an airport for having a loaded weapon (with a bullet in the chamber no less) in his carry on luggage, and then pleading NOT GUILTY?

(3)  Washington Redskins RB Larry Johnson saying that all he needs is a coach who cares.  No Larry, what you need is to shut your mouth and execute on the field.

(4)  Kevin Garnett (aka - Bitter Old Bastard).  Not only is BOB fined $25,000 for complaining about officiating and how many times Kevin Durant went to the foul line against the Celtics.  Hey KG, I didn’t hear you complaining when you received that “superstar treatment”!   

Then, this Einstein has the audacity to get in the face of and run smack at LBJ and the Cavs like he’s gonna punk them out.  KG, the C’s might have won the game, but it took Ray Allen to bail your defensive lapse having ass out.  LBJ was running around, through, and over you.  You really need to shut it!

Well, there it is for another Tuesday.  Wednesday and Thursday Mrs. Fan and I are going to Lake Tahoe to celebrate our 22^nd anniversary.    Peace to you all.  Figuring I gave you all double vision after all these rants, check out one more from Foreigner...

Holy Shit Batman! Donovan McNabb is being traded to his division rival, the Washington Redskins! Traded for this year's second round pick, and a 3rd, or 4th rounder next year...Shocked I am...I thought he might get traded, but not to the Redskins...Or any team in his own division...

 What isn't shocking?

The NFL keeping itself in the news as Major League Baseball opens it's season with ESPN's favorite two teams to show...Yankees at the Red Sox...Boom! Yankees take a lead in the 2nd as they start knocking around Beckett! Wait...What's that? McNabb traded to Redskins!

I'm not saying it's a conspiracy...I'm just saying, the NFL always finds ways to stay on the front page...

But hey, the Red Sox just came from behind, and now they got Neil Diamond's old ass out there singing "Sweet Caroline."

And since I mentioned the Baseball game...Let me say this...I can't stand Joe Morgan...The guy has a wealth of Baseball knowledge...But he's an ass...He often likes to point out that he thinks there are no better players then him and his boys from the "Big Red Machine." I'm not saying they weren't great players...But dude needs to check the ego a bit...But what pissed me off Sunday night was him swinging on A-Roid's nuts again...He was just going on, on about the guys numbers, and what a great player he is...How quickly we forget the douche bag was on steroids! A-Roid, and Morgan can both suckle me!

Since I'm talking about douche-bags in the sports world...Here's a video of Comedian Jim Norton and Opie from O & A (Opie is holding the camera) on the Brother Wease Show in Rochester, talking about shitty athletes, and why people can get turned off by them...



Speaking of sports, and being turned on/off...The non-stop Tiger Woods at The Masters talk has started...I'm already over it...I hope some crazy waitress he threw it in charges him on the first tee, and bites his dick off....

Here's a Bill Burr's different take on Tiger Woods Banging everything that he saw...




Next, we have some sad news...Not just for Notre Dame fans like me...It's just sad...Incoming Freshman Matt James fell to his death while on vacation in Florida...He was 17 years old...James was one of Coach Brian Kelly's top recruits and was in the 'national top 100." James played his high school football at Cincinnati St. Xavier High School...The St. X, and Notre Dame communities heart broken over this loss...Not the loss of a football player, but the loss of a young life...

How do I follow that...Well hopefully this will give you the chuckle it gave me...I just recently found out that Jesus has a twitter account...And if you check out he last few days...He's a funny dude...http://twitter.com/jesus

I hope everyone had a Happy Easter...The Easter Bunny was ready to leave nothing but a lump of shit in the little Beeze's basket after a stunt he pulled Saturday...

My wife had ordered some chocolate covered pretzels from a co-worker...When I say some, I mean a shit-ton...I was in the kitchen Saturday evening, doing my duties...The wife came in for a few pretzels...Where are they?" she asks..."What?"..."The Pretzels" she says...I responded, "Ask the boy." She then realized she saw him carrying this large container of them...She asked where he put them...In his typical fashion he said, "I don't know." after some searching and more asking, which let to him saying, "I don't remember" I saw this little door slightly open...The door is to a crawl space that goes to the plumbing in the kitchen...He has been told countless time to not open, and especially don't go in there...So I look in...There are the pretzels...Dumped out in the crawl space...Cobwebs and dust and dirt and who knows what all over...What a dick!

We all know, I'm not a basketball fan...But I'm sure Monday night I'll find myself watching the National Championship game...Why? Well, I think it would just be great to see Butler beat Duke...Who's with me? F**k Duke, Go Butler!

Last thing...It looks like the Beeze will be winning the YouGab Fantasy Hockey League...After playing slightly above average...Then squeaking into the playoffs, the Killer Beeze got hot and rolled threw the playoffs...How about that for a happy ending to the weekend!?!

Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.