Weekly Grumble with IHM 9/20
Category: FEATURED

  Given the issues and scrutiny the league is currently under, the NFL has hired yours truly, IHM, to create a new, comprehensive plan to deter any further black eyes and ugliness for the league due to player conduct. As members here at Yougabsports.com, you all get an exclusive first look at the new plan in its entirety…

   First rule… Roger Goodell will personally chaperone all player dates/ social outings. This should help ease the concerns of Mrs. Terry O’Neil, president of NOW (National Organization of Women), who wondered aloud last week what Roger Goodell was doing to protect these women. Since apparently the abuse suffered by these women is exclusively the fault of the NFL commissioner, and certainly not the idiot players who decided to lay their hands on women, I felt it best that he be personally involved in any and all contact between a female and an NFL player. Even married players, if they want a date night with the wife, had better set it up in advance with the Commish as a third wheel… he’ll be there. Should things head to the bedroom, he’ll be sitting bedside, and even be ready and willing to tag in if necessary.

   Second rule… the NFL is to attach a tracking device to each of its nearly 1,700 players and provide everyone with a free app allowing people to know, at all times, their proximity to the ever-dangerous NFL player.

  Third rule… If you see a woman or child… DON’T FUCKING HIT IT! How fucking hard is it?

  Unless, of course, that bitch spilled your coffee...

  Well, there it is! Not very complex at all, but it solves all the NFL’s problems.

  But in all seriousness, what is the fucking problem here? If you ask me, there IS NO PROBLEM! Am I saying domestic abuse is not an issue? Of course not… but if you compare the number of NFL players currently under investigation for some form of domestic violence, whether it be against a woman or a child, it is actually LOW compared to males aged 20-30 out there in the real world. You know why you generally don’t hear about any regular people that age getting into trouble for that sort of thing… because it is so commonplace, it is a non-story. Yet, just like Greg Hardy of the NFL, millions of men across the country get away with domestic abuse on a daily basis. Sure, they are caught, arrested, prosecuted, and then given the same kind of bullshit punishment Hardy received.

  When we talk about Greg Hardy, we’re talking about a six-foot-four, 278 pound man who threw a woman around like a rag doll, punched and choked her, and threatened to kill her repeatedly. Yet, he got a sixty day suspended sentence and community service. Is this really the NFL’s problem we are talking about here… or should we be focused on the real issue, the absolute fucking JOKE that is our legal system. Everybody wants to take down the fucking juggernaut that is the NFL these days… everybody wants to say they played a part in getting Roger Goodell fired… that’s great. In the meantime, what exactly are you accomplishing for the cause you claim to care so deeply about? Huh, NOW… how about the 16 female senators who stepped forward and demanded Goodell resign? What is it you are getting done here? Not a fucking thing. Nobody wants to accomplish anything here, they simply want to start a fucking hashtag, get their filthy whore name in the news, and move on to the next thing that the entire country should be infuriated about and try to get in on that gravy train.

  In the end, we’re going to see several men lose their jobs… but we’re going to see no real, actual change. Women are not going to be any safer. There will be a few more dames walking the halls of the NFL’s league offices, simply as an attempt to appease the unwashed, angry masses. They will have no real pull; they will just be window dressing. People will continue to get a slap on the wrist for domestic violence, and nobody will gain a damn thing. So to anybody who is actually enjoying this horse shit, make sure you get your fill on being a women’s rights advocate… because there will be a bright, shiny new cause for you to fight for next week. But don’t worry, just like this week, you won’t be required to actually do anything.

Sports Friday with Hal: The NFL Week Three
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NFL Football Free agency draft news notes


Greg Hardy.

Ray McDonald.

Adrian Peterson.

Jonathan Dwyer.


There, that’s it. Not talking about those idiots anymore. They’re taking away from this fantastic football season and that is a shame.


So many great games to date, so many great games to come:


Matt Ryan is back to being elite. No he’s not. Wait, maybe he is. Tune in next week because with Julio Jones, Harry Douglas, and Roddy White that offense SHOULD be putting up sick numbers. Heck of a performance in week one and now week three (as it is on in the background) tearing apart Tampa Bay. Breakout star tight end Jordan Reed has been hurt and 2011 fifth round draft pick Niles Paul (who had four receptions last year, eight the year before, and just two in 2011) pulls down eight passes in week two for 99 yards and a touchdown. Crazy!


That RGIII injury? OUCH. My ankle hurt just seeing the replay. How about Kirk “Kissing” Cousins stepping in and the offense playing better without Griffin? Robert Griffin III looked efficient but not spectacular. Cousins had a big-game kind of day and just looks right for the role sitting in the pocket and finding everyone EXCEPT DeSean Jackson and Pierre Garcon seemingly. Yes, it was Jacksonville (why oh why did I go on record about the “huge improvement on defense” for the Jags?) but impressive none the less.

Speaking of the Jaguars, owner Shad Khan (cue the William Shatner cue the Star Trek II “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!” clip) fired manager number three in just over a year across the pond as disappointing Fulham was relegated last year and losing to Nottingham Forest (yah, that’s as bad as it sounds...being beaten by the merry men!). I would not want to be head coach in Jacksonville with that track record for an owner. The Jags are 0-2, scored 27 total points in two games, have given up 75 points, top wide receivers Justin Blackmon and Ace Sanders are suspended, tight end Marcedes Lewis is on injured reserve, second-round draft pick Marqise Lee is out with a hamstring injury, and week one star receiver Allen Hurns is doubtful to play with an ankle injury. Current top receiver Cecil Shorts has not played yet after pulling down 66 catches last year and is still questionable for Sunday. That is rough. At least they’re sitting first-round pick Blake Bortles rather than run him out with no receivers to throw to on Sunday.


Super Bowl rematch in week three? Yes! Denver looking shaky but still winning both games...Seattle losing to San Diego as the Chargers picked apart the defense. Did not hear much in the offseason about Seattle’s losses on the defensive line, but Cliff Avril and Michael Bennett can’t do it all every week. Bruce Irvin needs to show up--he’s skated as a first round pick in 2012 for the Seahawks due to their other great personnel moves. Irvin is on the hot seat now. Chris Clemons and Red Bryant in Jacksonville, Clint McDonald in Tampa Bay … that’s a lot of players lose in the middle of the defensive line. Tony McDaniel and Brandon Mebane are run-stuffers, linebacker K.J. Wright does not rush the quarterback, and youngsters Jordan Hill, O’Brien Schofield and veteran Kevin Williams have not contributed much in the pass rush. Are there cracks in the defense in Seattle? Stay tuned.

Speaking of Thursday Night Football on CBS...

I LOVE IT!!!  Nothing better than primetime football on free TV.


The commercials for Tea Leoni in “Madame Secretary”?

Not so much of a fan. I predict six episodes and it is never seen again.


The Cincinnati Bengals have been the most complete team looking strong on defense (shutting down the Falcons last week looks even better with the Falcons destroying Tampa Bay Thursday Night) and doing enough on offense without wide receiver A.J. Green and tight end Tyler Eifert hurt last week. Jeremy Hill and Gio Bernard are a dynamic duo at running back and getting back to health makes Cincinnati a favorite...up until the playoffs when Andy Dalton will find a way to lose the game. That said, the Bengals--in week three--and being 2-0 are already having trouble getting to the 85% threshold to avoid a blackout? Seriously? Thumbs down, Cincy...not like anyone is going to watch the Reds trying to hold off the Cubs for last place in the NL Central these next few weeks!


OK, that’s all for today. Have a great weekend, all!


O H Thursday
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NFL Brees Belichick

Hello gabbers and thanks for checking in today.

New segment part 2…Harry’s disgusted.

In 69 words-

The Vikings reinstating Adrian Peterson and saying they will let the judiciary process play out is saying that he’s too good of a talent to let this incident get in the way of our goal. The Raddison is pulling their advertising from the Vikings in light of Peterson’s return.  Peterson injured his 4 year old son, that he only sees 10-15 days per year, unintentionally… with a stick.  

I wrote this blog before the Vikings, under pressure from sponsers, reversed their position on Peterson. He will still get $800,000 per week but won't be allowed in the Vikings facility.

Week two of the NFL season had plenty of off field drama, my opinions of these things is simply spelled out in 69 words above.

On the field........

On the field there was some great football played.

Philip Rivers and the San Diego Chargers took it to the defending SB champs and beat Richard Sherman and the Seahawks 30-21.

Ageless Antonio Gates pulled in 3 TD passes from Rivers in the win..

Rex is not happy

Marty is in deep shit

The Jets seemed to find their mid season stride by timing out in Green Bay…blame Marty , Rex or Karma, it really doesn’t matter they just seem to finds a way. They are kind of the AFC version of the Lions.


Jordy Nelson gave Oldharry’s Natural grass and bad weather fantasy team a boost over Lanz’s Dukes of York. 209 yards receiving and that adds up to some solid bonus points…sorry Lanz

The play of the weekend award goes to Patriots DE Chandler Jones.

A blocked FG attempt and subsequent 59 yard TD return to go along with 8 tackles and 2 sacks.

The Pats o line kept Tom Brady clean with only one sack.


The still unbeaten teams after week 2 are:








The most surprising Bills are 2-0 after beating the Bears in week one and pummeling the Dolphins 29-10 in week two. The road ahead for the Bills isn’t an easy one:

San Diego-       just beat defending SB champs Seattle last week.

At Houston-     off to a 2-0 start

At Detroit-        explosive offense with Stafford and Cal Johnson

New England-   Tom Brady has a 22-2 record vs Buffalo


The surviving Dolphins are gathering to put this years pin poking voodoo session round table together to finish off the teams left unbeaten. They will be putting the 2% milk to toast on ice awaiting the last to fall of this years pretenders



-Patriots head coach Bill Belichick won his 200th NFL regular season game 30-7 over the Vikings on Sunday.

When asked about the 200th Bill said, “ I didn’t plan on this when I got into coaching, it’s really something…I guess what it really means is that I had some great players playing for me”

The only other active NFL head coaches with more than 100 wins are

Tom Coughlin        158

Jeff Fisher             157

Andy Reid             141

John Fox              109


- Wrapped In Belichick's 200th win was Tom Brady's 149th win pulling him into 3rd place alltime behind Farve and Manning



Peyton Manning now has 497 TD’s just 11 behind all time leader Brett Farve.

The closest active QB’s behind Peyton are

- Drew Brees at #4 with 366 and

- Tom Brady at #5 with 361.


Speaking of Brees


-Drew Brees 51,651yds. passed John Elway 51,475yds. and moved into 4th place all time in total passing yardage.


Top 10 all time list passing yards

1.Brett Farve              71,838

2.Peyton Manning       65,475

3. Dan Marino             61,361

4. Drew Brees             51,651

5. John Elway              51,475

6. Tom Brady               49,547

7. Warren Moon           49,325

8. Fran Tarkington        47,003

9. Vinny Testaverde      46,233

10. Drew Bledsoe         44,611


In the Harry family league I squared off against son #2. I had to get rid of Peterson and replaced him in my lineup with Shane Vereen and move Reggie Wayne into the flex position I moved Vereen from. With some injuries, suspensions etc. I was still able to win 168-109 and stay unbeaten.

Life in the Subdivision:

You just never know what the kids will bring home next!  I’ve always been a purveyor of letting my kids do what they want as long as they don’t break things or hurt people. All of them are independent and self sufficient which is what our parenting plan was when we started out. Last weekend #4 son, the one who told us we needed to be tested for a trembling disorder after taking the shaky truck for a spin, came home with a new yard ornament.

He says it (an old 24’ Boston Whaler with no motor) will be sold within a week and he will fix the trailer and get $600.00 for it. I said ok, what did you pay for the arc?

Boat and trailer…$150.

Number 3 son said later that day, “ ok the Boat isn’t gone until Nov 1st…you want the over or under Dad?”

 I took the over.

The Ditkahs rocked the lanes last week taking game one by 43 point and game 3 by 25 after dropping game 2 by 10. A solid overall win which brings us to 8-8 after two weeks. I had an ok night, started out with a 156 followed with a 192 and finished with a 177.  

Until next week Gabbers and don’t forget Lanz right over there >>>

Deep Thoughts 9-17-14
Category: FEATURED
Tags: Whoopings and Adrian Peterson...Baltimore Orioles and Showalter Chris Davis Jonathan Papelbon Jose Altuve


Hello and welcome to another Wednesday of deep thoughts. The Bible says spare the rod and spoil the child. While I think that most people would agree with this statement, my belief is that each of us would take something different from these words. I grew up in a household that strongly believed in using the rod or more accurately…a belt. Lord knows, I was a hard headed kid, but I was never spoiled. While I screwed up regularly, I knew that there would be consequences. I also knew that my parents loved me. As a kid, I had a basic understanding that my parents disciplined me because they loved me. My Dad used to say something that I thought was bs…something about the spanking hurting him as much as it did me. Well, at 9 or whatever…I knew that there was no way that his butt was hurting as bad as mine. It was not until I was a parent that I understood what he meant. Kids don’t come with a handbook. Really, the only thing reference guide parents have is what they learned growing up.



Adrian Peterson was indicted by the grand jury in Montgomery County last week for injury to a child...his 4 year old child. Many people see the pictures of his son and immediately assume that Peterson is a sadistic ass. I look at the pictures of his son and realize immediately what Peterson’s childhood was like. If you have never been to East Texas, you cannot possibly imagine how different the region is. Honestly, it is beautiful…the red dirt and pine trees are some of my favorite memories of summer visits to my grandparent’s home. East Texas is a very rural region that is generally poor. Agriculture, timber and oil are the primary business in the area. It is also deep in the heart of the Bible belt. Adrian Peterson grew up in Palestine Texas, a town of 18,000. In this small town, how many churches would you guess there are? Would you be surprised to know that the number is 71? Of this number, 25 are Baptist Churches. I don’t know Adrian Peterson, but I know where he comes from. These are good people…honest folks with traditional values. Life has changed over the years, but core beliefs have not. When kids get out of line, they are punished. This is what Adrian Peterson and I both learned growing up.



I have a difficult time condemning someone for how they discipline their children. Especially when I see the results of kids that grow up with no discipline at all. In reading an article about Adrian Peterson, I ran across this comment from a mother named Linda. Here is what Linda had to say:

I grew up in a home with "corporal" punishment, so when I had a child, this is the form of discipline I used. It wasn't until my child was 12 and got a spanking for trying to do a book report the night before it was due (they had 2 weeks to do it), that it became an issue. When my child told a friend they got a spanking, the friend told the teacher, who called child services. My child was taken from our home for 1 night and return the next day. The social worker assigned to us was awesome, and said to me,"As a mother, I don't disagree with what you did. However, as a social worker, I have to tell you that is it wrong." From that day forward, I never physically abused my child again. However, I lived with the threat of "touch me and I'll call the cops" for the next 4 years. My child began to skip school and do pretty much what they wanted to. I was given a citation for truancy for my child. By 16, my child had moved out of my home and was living with the family of a registered sex offender. By 17, she had quit school and was pregnant. At 18 she was on welfare, had no diploma and no job. My child has always refused to use any form of punishment on her child. At 11, my grandchild was expelled from school, after failing in a district "behavioral program". At 30, my child is afraid of her own child, who steals from her and has threatened her life. Her only regret? "Maybe spanking him every now and then wouldn't have been such a bad thing." Society has taken control away from the parents and given it to the children. We grew up with rules, consequences and punishment, yet somehow we became honest, respectable, productive adults. We work had and respect others, especially our elders. We don't think society owes us just because we exist. Can it sometimes go to far? Absolutely. You can have punishment with limits. But most of the excess comes from individuals who tend to have excessive personalities. Children need structure and boundaries. And sometimes, punishment. Just not excessive punishment that causes bodily injury. If given the choice, I would be raised exactly the same way, all over again.




I have gone back and forth in my mind regarding Adrian Peterson. I truly believe that he was trying to do the right thing. He was doing what he had learned growing up. But, I also believe he was excessive in spanking his son. My wife and I were forced to adjust how we punished our children when our middle daughter was about 4 years old. She was stubborn and independent beyond her years. I spanked her one time and she told me, “That did not hurt”. As Julie and I talked later, we realized that spanking this child would not work.  We had to change the manner that we punished our kids. Honestly, it is much harder to discipline kids when a spanking is not the punishment. As a parent, it takes effort and creativity to understand the proper motivation to teach children right from wrong. Our pediatrician told my wife one time that sometimes spanking a child is necessary. He used the incident of a kid walking out in the street. It is necessary in that case in order to get the child’s attention immediately. But leaving a four year old with bloody whelps is wrong. The one thing that I have come to believe is that although spanking children is effective in teaching them right from wrong…it also teaches them to hit. I cannot finish this topic without remembering an incident at the home of a close family friend. I was probably 5 and my brother was a couple of years younger. We were doing the wild Indian thing and my Mom finally had enough. She told me to go outside and bring back a switch. I did as instructed and remember dreading the walk back into that house. I handed my Mom that switch and prepared to take my punishment. A funny thing happened…my parent’s friends had this really cool German Shepard named Tina. I loved that dog, so smart…just the best dog. As my Mon drew back the switch, I heard a low growl. My Mom stopped and looked around…the growl was Tina saying, not in my house. My Mom decided to listen to Tina. The funny thing is that my Mom had never before used a switch to spank us…and Tina made sure that she would not that day either.







With all of the discussion over the NFL, we have overlooked some great baseball happening. September, is usually associated with football, which is really too bad. September baseball is tough to beat. It is the time of year when things get real interesting. The Orioles and Nationals clinched their divisions on Tuesday. The big news here for me was Baltimore winning the AL East. Yes, the Nats are a nice story, but they are a team built to win. The O’s sort of came out of nowhere to literally run away with the division. I suppose I should not be surprised that Showalter has his birds in the playoffs. The guy just knows how to win. I admire his baseball knowledge, but I admire his toughness most of all. Showalter took a look back to remind his team that the Orioles had a successful history. I continue to be amazed at how successful the pitching staff has performed. Seriously, there are no big names like Jim Palmer, Mike Cuellar or Dave McNally. I dismissed this team early in the season as just not having a staff built for playoff baseball…I was wrong. This Baltimore team simply does not allow anything to distract them from their goal. They lost Machado and did not miss a beat. Chris Davis is lost for 25 days…and they just keep playing. This is a team that plays exactly in the image of their skipper…they are tough. I am not sure how they will fare against a team like Detroit or Los Angeles…but I would not count them out. I truly believe that baseball is better when Baltimore is playing good baseball.





Many fans may view Chris Davis as the villian in this Oriole story book season. In truth, there is more to this than another player failing a drug test. While it is true that Davis tested positive for Adderall, it is also true that Davis and 118 other players received permission to use Adderall in 2013. Did Davis not know that he did not have permission in 2014? Either way, he has to take responsibility for his actions. I have always been a fan of Davis, and was sorry to see the Rangers trade him. He is a Texas kid that grew up in Longview and played JUCO ball at Navarro in Corsicana Texas. It is nice to see kids make it that come from humble roots. There was another story this week, that I think says more about who Chris Davis is. A motorist reportedly arrived on an accident that had a man pinned under a truck. He pulled over and joined in to attempt to return the truck to an upright position. After achieving this, he turned to the man next to him and gave him a high five...he was surprised to see that it was Chris Davis. Given the past few months of negative stories regarding athletes, it is nice to read something that is positive. Nice job Chris Davis!




In other news...


MLB announced that Jonathan Papelbon received a 7 game suspension for his touching gesture to the Philly fans. Umpire Cowboy Joe West did the right thing in giving Papelbon the heave ho, then screwed up by grabbing Papelbon's jersey. MLB agreed and issued West a one game suspension.





                                                 Sorry Joe, you can't initiate contact...even if the douche bag deserves it...









Congratulations to Jose Altuve for setting a new single season Astro hit mark at 211 and counting. He eclipsed the pervious mark for season hits of 210 established by Craig Biggio. This has truly been a break -out season for Altuve. It seems like each night he has at least two hits to pace his team. Pound for pound, is there a better player in baseball? I just love the way that Jose plays the game. He gives hope to vertically challenged players everywhere. I am telling you…the Astros will make huge strides next year…and Altuve will be the guy setting the pace.


                                                               Craig Biggo was on hand to congratulate Jose Altuve.

Remember…don’t get so into watching football that you forget about September baseball!






Did you hear about the furor regarding the Columbian women’s cycling team? Apparently some really do not like their uniforms...





That’s all I have today, but I will leave you with a bit of Jack Handey…


If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.


I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money."


Thanks for stopping by and feel free to leave a few deep thoughts of your own…



Tuesday's Tantrum - 9/16/14
Category: FEATURED

Welcome to the tantrums, where today is my 50th birthday.  I don't say it for platitudes, I say it because I want my official AARP card!  And what a great celebration it was, but the topper was the gift my wife and kids gave me...lower bowl seats to watch Alcatraz' first home game against Chicago on Sunday Night Football in the first official game at the new Levi's Stadium!!!  An incredible and loud stadium which was fun to break in.  It has some growing pains to go through, most notably traffic (which apparently nobody took into account), but when that gets solved, Levis truly will be the absolute best stadium going. 



I guess that makes my hypocritical, but damn that energy before the game and in the first half?  That was something to behold.  Too bad Alcatraz pissed the game away by the same shit that has got them for years:  ignorant turnovers and horrific accuracy by Kaepernick, ridiculously stupid play calling - (three runs on 1st and goal from the 8?), oh and that same bugaboo, too small a defensive backfield - opponents just throw over the top of them.  Can I add absolutely shitty officiating that took a Frank Gore TD off the board and nobody knows why.  I swear if I had been home, I would have switched the channel - that's how many flags hit the field.

I honestly didn’t know what I wanted to write about because sports kinda sucks right now, but I found some inspiration in of all places ESPiN and Rick Reilly, so with apologies to a phenomenal column he did back on April 23, 2014 called “Some truths I’ve discovered”, I’ll provide my version.  I edited some that fit me, and kept some that fit as well:

In my five decades of life, I've learned that these things are true and always will be (at least for me):

The guy you really need to talk to ain’t really a guy, she’s your wife or significant other and your family.  I've bowled and placed in State tournaments, played club/varsity sports in the Navy, flew a plane, met a standing U. S. President, operated both an aircraft AND submarine simulator, and visited 20 countries on five continents.  But the most fun I ever had was watching my kids play sports, appreciate it, form long-lasting friendships, then use what they learned to succeed in everything they’ve done.  

A good sports blog is tough to write:  Whatever you thought of has already been written 18,000 times.  That being said, your opinion is equally as valuable as anybody elses.  Don’t let talking heads think they can downplay yours.  Speaking of them...Sports talk sucks, and I'm not clear how these asshole hosts and their radio stations feel the right to be so arrogant and condescending.  And don't get me started on how they take credit for so much shit.

The greatest sporting event I ever watched was the 1980 U. S. Olympic Hockey team victory over the Soviet Union in Lake Placid.  Why?  Because it meant so much more than sport – it turned our nation around.

The worst sporting event I ever watched?  The Muhammad Ali/Jimmy Young fight which turned me against boxing.  

The Boston Marathon is iconic, Baseball is resurgent, Basketball is whiny, and the NFL has turned into the 2010's version of the 1990's Jail Blazers.  Horse Racing and Boxing have run their course, Golf apparently survive without Elderick, Tennis continues to suffer through the few dominating, the Olympics and NCAA are as corrupt as you can possibly be.  If the jackasses running sports right now aren’t careful, the next generation will care more about X-Games, Soccer, and Technology.  You've been warned.


The less you've traveled, the more sure you are, but the more you’ve traveled, the more fun you’ve had.  Coolest places to visit:  Australia, Singapore, and a tie for third between photo safari in Mombasa Kenya and Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming.  Honorable Mention goes to "The Sunset Grille" in Marathon, Florida.  But then again, there was this midget bar in Scottsdale, Arizona that seemed cool.

The best sports move ever was "Hoosiers." Everything else doesn’t hold a candle.

Best stadium I've ever been to?  Target Field (MLB), American Airlines Arena (Miami, NBA) and Levi's Stadium (NFL).  

Bandwagon fans are killing sports.  But in terms of who has what type of fan?  Philly fans take it the worst. Seattle fans are the whiniest. Oakland fans are the most dangerous. Kansas City fans the least. Boston fans know the most. Miami, Atlanta, and LA don’t have fans.  Minnesota fans are the most supportive, Chicago the most obnoxious - though Sacramento is making significant strides in that direction - chill out Sacramento fan - all this shit we just went through?  Yeah, it was about SACRAMENTO, NOT YOU AND WHAT YOU CAN GET OUT OF IT!!! 

Camels show up in the strangest of places:  literally walking down a populated and popular beach in Africa, while taking a leak in an outdoor bathroom in Pakistan, and at the annual Camel Races in Virginia City, NV.  Monkeys are thieves, goony birds can fly forever, Dolphins love to play chicken with the bow of any and all Navy ships, and any animal you find at Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming is a treasure.

There's no bad day that getting out of the house and doing/playing some sport can’t fix.  For me, it’s the gym, bowling, or full-court basketball.

My most favorite sport to play?  Beach Volleyball by a country mile - seriously, in my mind there's nothing better than a Summer Day playing volleyball, and hanging with friends.  While Bowling isn't a sport, its a hell of a lot of fun, especially if you're with good friends/family, a deck of cards, a pitcher of beer or Diet Mountain Dew, and Tuesday Tacos or Pizza...

My least favorite sport to play?  Hockey (because I can’t skate), but the sport I sucked the most at?  Golf (and it isn't even close).  


Athletic event with the most douche-bags?  This is where I wish I had the mic skills of The Rock.  That would be the gym on a daily basis:  Cell Phone guy, Guy who stands at equipment talking with others while folks wait, "MMA Guy/Tapout Poser", Mirror Guy, and many, MANY others.  Memo to twenty and thirty somethings:  Going to the gym doesn't make you a bad-ass, and your act at the gym makes you look like an ignorant twit - thereby significantly reducing any chance you thought you had of getting the digits because trust me, those who you target, laugh at your monkey ass.  

Athletic event with the coolest, most inspirational folks?  That would be the gym on a daily basis.  When I see 50-90 year olds coming in, doing their business and running the equipment like champions, some with missing legs, that inspires me.  Fat guy trying to get back into shape?  Cool.  The 98 lb weakling getting in there and busting his ass just to lift the bar on a curl or a press?  Phenomenal.  Parent and child working out together gets special props. 

Sprinters finish last in an endurance run – boy did I learn that the hard way.  But the best race I ever ran was a standard yearly semi-annual physical fitness test where you followed a pickup truck for a mile and a half.  Why?  Because it was carrying a full keg of beer to a picnic site where BBQ and sporting events were waiting.  Oh, did I mention it was 8AM and every single person passed the run portion of the test?  And did I mention that the "fat boys" out sprinted the athletic jack-rabbit runners?   

Speaking of which, if cold beer didn't exist, half of sports and 3/4 of the military would fall off the edge of the Earth.

If gambling didn't exist, the other half would.  But then again, maybe the degenerates would go away.

You'd never dream you can get bored with college courses until you have to sit through one four hour class with a high tempo teacher and the proverbial know it all student dominating the class because he wants to hear himself talk - meanwhile the rest of the class tunes out because we've strayed so far from the original topic.

And finally this gem from Rick Reilly, where he is spot on, and I hope to find more types of stories like this:  “The best stories aren't on the cover. They're the kid at the end of the bench, the fan who snuck into the game, the coach who shouldn't be alive. They're the ones that are hardest to find, and hardest to forget.”  - Amen Rick Reilly!


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