FEATURED
Monday Moaning 7-14-14
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NBA LeBron James Cleveland Cleveland Cavaliers Cleveland Browns Cleveland Indians Cleveland Fans Cleveland Sports Greatness The Beeze

 

Okay Cleveland...You had your fun...You had your excitement...Now it's time for your friendly wake up call...It's time to relax Cleveland...

 

 

 

Hey...Listen up...I said relax!

 

What part of relax don't you understand...Well maybe you two can have a few more minutes....

 

So why am I telling Cleveland to relax...Because this city went bat-shit crazy over LeBron James deciding to sign with the Cavaliers...And him and his sweet, well thought-out essay he co-wrote with a Sports Illustrated hack...Yeah, it was well written...It was good...But these dopes in the media act like he woke up Friday morning and did that shit...He had been working with this SI guy, Lee Jenkins for a couple weeks...Seriously, dude said so in an interview on Mad Dag Radio...All last week, the sports media world was talking about 2 things...Johnny Manziel possibly doing blow...and "Where will LeBron sign?"  James played the media last week as well as he plays basketball...

And Cleveland...This is my hometown...As much as I rag on it, I love this bitch...But this city disappointed me with their begging for James to come back...Just 4 years earlier so many of them were mother-fucking him...Me, I had been trashing him for a good 3 years before that...But it was nice to not be alone anymore...But last week, they were swinging on his nuts again...And those dopes on WKNR....Go find that audio...These two clowns, when the news broke, you could hear them cumming and crying while they squealed like little school girls...I wanted to puke in my cheerios...

So Cleveland was thrilled with the news...People who burned jerseys 4 years ago were heading to the store to get a new one...Whatever tool-bag...But I finally was completely sickened, and embarrassed by my city, when multiple people in the local media, besides the average joe idiots said, "This is one of the greatest days, possibly the greatest in Cleveland Sports History!"

Are you for fucking real? Seriously, you cover sports in this city and you said that Jim Donavan? Oh he wasn't alone...A fuck-ton of his fellow media members said this shit...How about you idiots read a fucking book!  Shit, Google something other then LeBron James!

I know the Browns have sucked balls for ages, but they were the shit many years ago...8 League Championships...AAFC Championships (4)  1946, 1947, 1948, and 1949...NFL Championships (4)  1950, 1954, 1955, and 1964...Jesus Christ, one of your "Journalism" brothers that this area loves so much, Terry Pluto wrote a book titled "When All the World was Browns Town"

What the hell is the matter with you assholes?

Yeah, the Indians have only won two Worlds Series, but shit that 1948 team was stellar...And I think Larry Doby being the first black player in the AL, just a couple months after Jackie Robinson broke in, would rank higher then James signing with the Cavs...What about Frank Robinson being the first black manager in baseball...With the Indians...Oh, and in his first at-bat as player manager, he just hit a HR...Thats' not fucking sweet at all right...

If you really think a player signing to your local team is the greatest sports moment ever, then you need to walk away from sports...

Cleveland fans for years have patted themselves on the back for being such loyal and devoted fans...(I would consider the 455 straight sellouts at Jacobs Field to be a bigger deal)...The national media also from time to time talk about the great fans in Cleveland...What made Clevelanders so tough and loyal?

It was all the downs...Not the few and far between ups...Not the highs, but the lows...The fucking Drive...The fumble, that made me cry...Jordan's jumper over Ehlo...Red-Right-88...The '95 Indians losing to the Braves...The Braves who couldn't even sellout for their playoff games...The '97 Indians, a cock-strong team, one out away...Beaten by a Marlins team that was rented, and sold off weeks later...Yeah, that one hurt like a bitch...How about my Dad seeing the '54 Indians, one of Baseball's best teams ever, lose it to the Giants...

It's those painful moments, that made Clevelanders tough...After those defeats, Cleveland came back to the respective stadiums, and rooted for their teams...Clevelanders didn't take off Chief Wahoo cap...They didn't say fuck it, and throw away there Browns gear and sell their season tickets...They were right back there next year with that stupid dag mask on, throwing dog biscuits at opposing players...

In my opinion, those losses are great Cleveland Sports moments, because we didn't burn the city down and riot like Vancouver...We took it on the chin, and came back for more...The Cleveland that I love would have never begged a guy to come back, and wouldn't have acted so insane if he did...The Cleveland I love would not be going crazy for an egotistical rookie QB who parties constantly and acts like an ass...I understand...Clevelanders are thirsty for a winner...Thirsty for positive coverage in this town...I hope we see it...But we're better than this...

 

I'll leave you with this...

 

 

Have a week....

 

The Beeze.

Divisional Upheaval?
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NFL Manziel NFC AFC

 

Why talk football? Why not, with a bare 6 weeks or so before we gear up for preseason? Good time for a final prediction before the oft-meaningless results of said preseason cloud one's judgement, catastrophic injuries excepted.

Football doesn't change much. Despite an effective draft system and free agency galore, the league has a stunning equilibrium, at least in some divisions. Bottom feeders like the Red Sox don't vault to the top in one season --- then plummet to the bottom again the next. In hockey, the elite tend to stay that way for a while until slow change overcomes them. The NBA is the one place where one player, whether named Wilt Chamberlain or LeBron James, can team-hop and turn the league upside-down.

The one thing that can produce a sea change in the NFL is a dramatic QB change, but even Peyton Manning hasn't seen the mountain air produce a ring.

Anyway, on with it!

AFC East:

In what has become the most predictable division in football, don't expect any miracles outside Foxboro. The Patriots, with all their supposed issues, will win the division again and vie for the ring again just because they're... well... the Patriots.

The Jets, erstwhile challengers, have spent the past few seasons in the bad joke department. This year, despite what many are calling vast improvements in personnel, one of said improvements has been none other than Mike Vick. Gone is Sanchez, the questionable quarterback who led them to two conference games not so long ago. Vick is aboard to 'mentor' Geno Smith. Smith needs more than mentoring, but doesn't relish the thought of being a backup. The plan is that he starts. We shall see. The stage is set for another circus.

The Fins, sidetracked by the media's vapid anti-bullying campaign last year, have proven less than resilient in the face of adversity, however minor. Why they should suddenly develop the heart of a champion is a topic for conjecture.

And, as usual... Buffalo. They seem to have a lot of good players. They are a tough out in the division. But they're always an out. EJ Manuel isn't going to turn into Tom Brady. Or Ryan Tannehill. Or even Mike Vick. But they may not finish last. In fact, except for first place it's a scramble, but one with dubious probability of producing a wild card.

 

AFC North:

With the decline of Baltimore and Pittsburgh, the Bengals have been something of a default champion recently by virtue of being a solid team. But they lack everything necessary to advance past their first playoff game. What that lack is can't be quantified easily, but it will focus, as it always does, on Dalton. Fair? Who cares? Anyway, though Pitt and Balty have stronger organizations, the front offices don't slug it out on Sundays.

The Browns are a big talking point. Again. Last year they looked formidable for a game and a half before Hoyer crumbled behind his oddly porous offensive line. Everyone would love to see Johnny Football ride in on his horse and pull an instant Andrew Luck, but only Cleveland fans could possibly believe it will happen. Something good could happen. The Browns have some pieces, the Bengals are still a dubious division dynasty, and the Ravens and Steelers still have winning pedigree but not much else. Unfortunately, the Browns' organization from top to bottom is so chaotic that it's impossible to believe they can pull it off until it happens.

The Ravens and Steelers are lumped together. Each team has a star quarterback, but the rest of the equation is a big fat question mark. It's hard to fathom starting a season without a 'pick one' for the AFCN between them, but here we are.

 

AFC South:

Colts Magic may be burning out a bit, but has anyone lately come out of college and turned a completely dismantled team into a winner like Andrew Luck? So far the rebuild has been more successful than planned. Expect this to continue. Unless...

Well, there is one case of first-to-worst in the NFL, and it's the Texans. How a team boasting one of the strongest rosters can succumb to injuries (and to two disheartening blowouts to New England) with a 2-14 season is beyond belief. We are about to find out whether Gary Kubiak was the glue that held them together or the problem. Bill O'Brien is a great coordinator but this is his first head job in the NFL. A coaching change can do wonders, and if he can revive their moribund offense things might get interesing. But bypassing a quarterback for a defensive end in the draft may have sealed their fate.

Tennessee ain't too bad... and ain't too good. End of story.

Jacksonville had a very good offseason, but the Jags need to pull a 'show me' to regain credibility as a contender. The team has heart. It could happen.

 

AFC West:

You'd think with two flops in the playoffs and Peyton Manning applying for Social Security the Broncos would hang it up. Not John Elway. He has his window, and this year is proving no different than last with an army of acquisitions to get Peyton his ring. It's doubtful that it will, but it will get him yet another division crown.

Should Denver slip up, however, the Chiefs at least look like the clear lady in waiting. Alex Smith may not be Manning, but he's pretty good, and his team isn't bad either. It's all a question of what the Broncos do, and after that Super Bowl, more than one potential sword hangs over their heads.

And then there's Oakland. Except for the Browns, the perennial example of how not to do things. This year they had a good offseason, not just for them but for anyone. The question will be whether the added talent has effect or just gets sucked into the bottomless pit that has claimed so many. Matt Schaub will become the latest faded star to try his luck. Carson Palmer couldn't do it. Went to Arizona and looked just fine. Oughtta tell you something.

Finally we have the Chargers... or what's left of them. They showed so much heart last year, it's impossible to write them off. Under AnybodyButNorv, they blossomed from talented underachievers to untalented overachievers. The latter is far more fun to watch. Don't count them out of second place unless a few of their remaining wheels fall off.

 

NFC East:

The division that had everyone in a 4-way head scratching quandary for years now is Nick Foles' to lose. The Eagles may not be great, but they're good, and that's all it should take. The reasons?

The Giants stunk, and have great stink potential again. The embattled Coughlin could pull one of his miracles again, but this time it would have to be a real miracle.

The Redskins have more problems than their name (or, more accurately, those who've made a PC cause celebre out of it) and they start with what was only recently their one rock-solid position. Two years ago, RG3 and Kirk Cousins looked too good to stay on the same team. But they did, and the results were disasterous. Griffin, back early from his injury (at his insistence), stunk the house out. He was so bad that he was benched in favor of Cousins, unfortunately so late in the season that the cause was hopeless and Cousins was hopelessly out of sorts. Now they have two young question marks to go with the others... which comprise the whole shebang, on and off the field.

The Cowboys get sillier --- and progressively worse --- by the year. Don't guess this trend will continue. Bank on it.

 

NFC North:

The Pack may not be what they were once, and Aaron Rodgers may be contemplating suicide judging from his comments on running with the ball, but for reasons so common among the divisions they should manage win theirs.

The Bears are coming back with a revamped defense. Good idea. After that it's Jay and Matt and pray for health. Same old Bears.

The Lions continue to be the league's shining example of how to squander apparent talent. Will a coaching change make all the difference? Something better.

The Vikings try hard, and that might be enough to push them past the menagerie if both animal squads sputter, which is more than possible. But whatever happens they probably won't catch Green Bay. You can't ride AP like a horse.

 

NFC South:

I've been predicting the dissolution of the Saints for a few years now, and been wrong. Last year their hot start buried the Falcons, leaving doubt as to how hard said Falcons were actually trying. And they handled upstart Carolina when they had to. They have the best (and dirtiest) coach in the division. Will that still be enough? Maybe. Maybe not. The wheels have to fall off some day, but they need some encouragement.

Atlanta is a huge question mark following a pathetic season rivaled only by Houston. Is Mike Smith really back? Consistency may be something the Falcons don't want this time around. Nobody sinks like that after losing a wide receiver. Nobody good, anyway.

Carolina had a breakout season for Cam last year. Or was it a flash in the pan? Judging from what happened between the season and postseason, it'll all depend on how short a leash they can keep on Newton, who appears to prefer the Superman routine, which loses, to the game manager routine, which won them games.

Tampa Bay isn't pathetic, but the Bucs also aren't looking like contenders either. This year, though, is the Lovie Smith Show. If they play as hard for him as the Bears did, who knows where this fairly talented team might end up?

 

NFC West:

Suddenly the premier division in football, the NFCW has two powerhouses, one good team and one mystery flop. Seattle's hold on the division is anything but guaranteed. But the champs are the likeliest to win it. There's one major reason.

Colin Kaepernick has been showing more and more of his flaky side since the reins came off. He's talented and dynamic, but he's also a mistake-prone passer who can be a liability when he goes sour. His discipline is in, shall we say, some question, certainly when compared to that of the possibly less skilled Russell Wilson. But the Niners should be there until the end anyway.

The Cards surprised almost everybody by making a run at a playoff spot late. Carson Palmer settled into his role, and the team played well. There's just too much to overcome right now in the division though.

Which brings us to the Rams. Is Sam still a franchise QB? Have all those draft picks borne fruit yet? Will they this time around? Is Fisher really still a capable coach? Stay tuned, but the likely anwers, as their record shall determine, are no, no and no. This ain't the NFCE. This ain't even the NFCS. Rebuilds don't take this long.

Weekly Grumble with IHM... the King Hath Returned Edition
Category: FEATURED

  Bow down Cleveland… your King has returned!

 Hello folks, and welcome to this week’s grumble with IHM. This week, the big story is the return of LeBron James to the Cleveland Cavilers basketball team on Friday afternoon, a move that stopped the world in mid-rotation, a move that has fathers bringing their first born sons for sacrifice to please his Majesty, a move that has Brian Windhorst of ESPN using his unwashed, game-used LeBron James headband to choke himself while he masturbates frantically in excitement!  Bow down, you peasants, and rejoice. Repent for your past sins of booing him, burning his jerseys, and break out the credit cards. Order up those season tickets, buy out the team store as soon as they get a LeBron jersey in stock! Your savior is here… and you are all truly, truly lucky that you were “chosen” by the chosen one Himself. ESPN will be back in town again… and your hard earned dollars will continue to make Dan Gilbert an even wealthier man. Sorry Miami, you can just break off and drift off into the Atlantic now; your King has forsaken you.

  So now that the Cavs have officially won the 2015 NBA Championship, I guess there is little more to discuss as far as basketball goes. Sure, Bosh, Wade, and Mello are still on the market. Sure, the Spurs team that dismantled James’ Heat squad in five games in the 2014 NBA Finals is still intact. Sure, there are 30 other teams in the league, but NONE OF THEM MATTER. The Cavs are here. Soon they will trade whatever junk they have laying around for Kevin Love, and I will go from rooting for Kevin Love to rooting against him… and when that happens, I predict the 2014-15 NBA season will simply be cancelled, and the Larry O’Brien trophy will simply be handed to the Cavs. Well, maybe that means the NHL might actually get some kind of spotlight… so it’s not all bad.

  But in all seriousness… the fucking guy writes a fucking essay, published by Sports Illustrated, to announce this “Decision”? Yet another douche move on his part. And of course, ESPN has wall to wall coverage of this, and they’ll probably be touching themselves to the news for a couple of weeks now, and if the Cavs actually manage to bring another guy in to make it a new “Big Three”… look the fuck out! Good bye regularly scheduled programming… bye bye Baseball Tonight, NFL Live, the Home Run Derby Monday night... SportsCenter? Try LeBronCenter. They’ll change their fucking call letters to LBJN.

  As for folks in Cleveland… really? Are you that desperate for a championship that you’re excited that this douchebag is back in town? You really want to go out and buy up those tickets, those jerseys because the King decided you were good enough now that he’s won a few championships? I’m waiting on the side-by-side shot of some douche burning his old LeBron jersey and sporting a shiny new one that he just dropped $150 on!

  Not one, not two, well, maybe just two. At least Mickey Ariens didn’t spout off like a scorned woman as Dan Gilbert did back in 2010. He said he was shocked and disappointed, but he thanked James for the championships (aka, all the money he made him over the past four years). Now Miami has been removed from ESPN’s radar… good luck to Israel Gutierrez, your services will no longer be needed. Hope you enjoyed your four-year career in broadcast journalism. Dwayne Wade will fade into obscurity, as will the Heat… soon the franchise will go bankrupt, the city will fall into anarchy, and burn to the ground without its’ king.

  But the biggest issue this creates is the competition between James and fellow Cleveland athlete Johnny Football to be the biggest douche in the sports universe! Can the blue-collar folks of Cleveland handle this level of douchebaggery? Can it possibly be contained? LA, New York, they are used to this sort of rampant stupidity and ridiculousness… but Cleveland? Come on now. Cleveland is now the epicenter for douchebaggery in the world of professional sports. I feel for you, Beeze, but at least it’ll give you some solid ranting fodder!

  As for the rest of the world of sports (yeah, despite ESPN’s best efforts, there STILL are other things going on), baseball is nearing its All-Star break, the NFL is nearing training camps, and there are some moves being made here and there in the NHL. No word yet as to whether or not the MLB All-Star game will be postponed so that we can all have a day of reverence for the greatness that is the all powerful, all giving, and all knowing LeBron James. Mostly so we can all have a day to enjoy just how lucky we all are to share a planet with such a remarkable human being. I mean sure, he can’t really speak proper English… but he can dunk a basketball!

  It’s going to be a rough fucking week for the folks blogging Monday-Thursday with baseball in its’ All Star break. Well, maybe you’ll get lucky and somebody in the NFL will get arrested or something!

  As for me, that’s all I’ve got for this week folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Enjoy your weekend, Gabbers.

Sports Friday with Hal: Around the Leagues
Category: FEATURED
Tags: Sports Baseball Football Basketball Hockey NHL NFL MLB NBA

Happy Friday!

 

Locally it is another week closer to another epic meltdown by the Boston Red Sox who have decided to copy the San Francisco Giants with their “win one year, crash the next” strategy. The Boston Bruins lost top line veteran sniper Jarome Iginla and are struggling to find a way to replace him. The Boston Celtics are jumping in on trades to...well, who the heck knows what they are doing? Football is two weeks away as in just two weeks training camps will open and it will be all football news all the time until January as the Patriots try to get back to the Super Bowl.

 

Nationally in the MLB, the Baltimore Orioles have taken over the American League East, Detroit looks strong in the Central, and the Texas Rangers inexplicably have crashed harder than the Red Sox as Anaheim and Oakland duke it out in the AL West. Over in the Senior Circuit Miami and the Mets won’t die in the National League East as Atlanta and Washington remain bunched up, the Central is bunched up as well with St. Louis charging (and losing Yadier Molina for 8 to 12 weeks...Ouch!) and Cincinnati and Pittsburgh close enough to strike behind Milwaukee, and finally in the West the Dodgers and Giants are deadlocked echoing an epic battle for the summer played out initially in baseball history in New York and after the 1960s out west.

 

Basketball is all about free agency in the NBA and waiting for the dominoes to fall. Dwyane Wade is likely returning to Miami but will LeBron James follow? Is Chris Bosh too insecure to take the big bucks in Houston and form a Big Three with Superman (Dwight Howard) and the Beard (James Harden)? Carmelo Anthony SHOULD go to Chicago, but is there enough cash and glamour for him? Would he interact with Kobe in L.A.? Come back to the Knicks? LeBron to Cleveland? Now that would cause the Internet to explode.

 

The big news in the NHL is that the Blackhawks locked up their two top players signing Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane to matching $84 million deals. Both are young (25 and 26 years old) and dynamic players on a squad that has established themselves as the elite franchise in the NHL. Having these two locked up for another another eight years puts the franchise on a winning track for the future. The ‘Hawks have two Stanley Cup wins with the duo and Kane has won the Calder (2008) and Conn Smythe (2013) while Toews has won the Conn Smythe (2010) and Selke (2013). Now they are in Chicago together through 2022-23.  Wow. That is called winning an offseason!

 

Finally, the NFL is quiet with camps so close and the last weeks of time off for the players and coaches (and beat writers!). The NFL had the supplemental draft come and go without a team wasting a draft pick for the second consecutive year. The last pick? 2012 when Cleveland got Josh Gordon for a second round pick. Of course, Gordon is in the news for all the wrong reasons having already been reported to be facing a season-long suspension for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy. This time he was arrested and charged with a DWI last weekend.

 

Gordon is supposed to have a hearing for his suspension for the substance abuse test failure later this month to request a reduced suspension. With his suspension last year (two games and two games with no pay) and now a DWI and speeding ticket last month (with his passenger cited for possession of marijuana) the supremely talented player is doing himself no favors.

 

It seems the NFL Players Union has hurt their own players by negotiating all this time off in the offseason and limits on time working with teams. With more time off players have more time to get into trouble. Aaron Hernandez was the poster child for too much time away from the team last year, and now Gordon is finding more ways to sabotage his career. Some players seem to need the structure of team control all year long to keep themselves out of trouble, but the Players Union has decreed it is not in the best interest of their constituents to have them spend the offseason with the team getting better and putting out a better product and stuff like that. Sad.

 

Finally, from the NFL’s only publicly traded team--the Green Bay Packers--having to release revenue numbers comes news that all that money going to the NFL teams...oh, yeah, there is more than anyone imagined. NFL teams divided more than $6 billion last season. Revenue rose almost 5% from the year prior and just continuing to grow. The DirecTV deal is up and being negotiated...the NFL Network got another big chunk of cash for CBS to take over half of the Thursday Night lineup, and the money keeps rolling in. With no signs of slowing, the league continues to pile up the profits.

 

OK, that’s all for today. Have a great weekend!

 

OH Thursday
Category: FEATURED
Tags: MLB NBA FIFA NFL

OH Thursday

Fresh back from multiple vacations and my daughter’ discharge from active duty USMC and I find that we are in the middle of the early summer sports lull.

two of my sons at 30mph...not easy on a tube

 

I am not a soccer fan. The Germany 7-1 beating of faux favorite and host Brazil was the thing that could draw fans from the dark side. The NFL equivalent would be 49-7 and that’s what we are talkin’ bout.

 

MLB The home town team is in the position of seller because they are much closer to the AL East cellar then the top spot.

Training camps are just a few weeks away for the NFL.

Summer leagues are playing for the NBA, actually better B ball than the regular season for the most part, at least more watchable.

 

Sully had a question of the day I saw when I got back to the gab, that’s me sitting in the corner table at the posh “Mo’s Bar”

Who was your first concert and who opened for them.

I went to HS in the 1960’s

Rock and Roll

Vietnam war

Woodstock

Kennedy

Nixon…

 I went to as many concerts at every venue available as I could possibly fit into my schedule.

Hence my hearing loss.

I saw the Stones at Boston Garden in 1969, I think November.

BB King was one of the opening acts and that’s when I fell for the Blues.

I was 17 at the time.

I saw Pink Floyd at the old Providence Civic Center (now known as the Dunk) in 1973

Great live show.

Boston had a load of small venues in town and it was a regular thing to stop at the Jazz Workshop, Paul’s Mall, Katies or the Paradise in Kenmore Square to see the likes of James Taylor, Muddy Waters, Myles Davis, Taj Mahal, Ry Cooder, Captain Beefheart and George Benson.    These small venues were a great place to see a good show at a reasonable price and you just never knew that one of these artists could make it big.

One of my old favorites from those recreational days was

 

Captain Beefheart , ( Don Van Vliet 1941-2010) played from time to time with Frank Zappa and the Mothers along with a career with his own band. Captain Beefheart and The Magic Band had several albums with some success and his shows were very entertaining as he invited audience participation.

His most successful venture was the album Trout Mask Replica with is # 58 on Rolling Stones 300 best rock albums of all time list. Take the time to check out this unique artist and poet.

Two Trains…two railroad tracks

One going and the other coming back

 

The black paper between the mirror makes me said that I can’t go

Steal softly thru sunshine steal softly thru snow.

I was going to weigh in on Johnny Manzel but BOB took care of that Harry…

quiet end to a great weekend

I may even be back to real sports next week, have a great day

 

 

 

 

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