I give ESPN credit for finding a nice non story during the NBA Playoffs. I have a vague idea of who is playing, but I am not too worried about the playoffs. Right now the Tigers are on and the Wings are in jeopardy of snapping a 21 year streak of playoff appearances. Well, the Lakers proved to be less of a train wreck than over half of all NBA teams and limped into the playoffs. I suppose you may have also heard that Kobe Bryant is hurt and not playing. Kobe has kept himself busy on Twitter and provided live commentary to his followers during the game. The media eagerly followed as well and were all too quick to ask Coach D’Antoni about it. I’m not sure why a coach would care, much less how he’d know about it. If you’re paying a guy multi-millions, I’m hoping his nose is on the court and not by his phone/tablet.

The story was a lead on ESPN and was shown alongside the game highlights. Kobe noticed this and has vowed not to Tweet again during the game. I think it really sucks that the world-wide leader and others turned Kobe’s tweets into such a big deal. I’d rather see Kobe at the games if possible, but I think it was a great way for Bryant to connect with his fans. It showcases Bryant’s knowledge. We’ve had a lot of former players finding success as coaches recently and I think Bryant would do equally well. I certainly hope he can learn from MJ and stay out of the ownership role. Still, I’d much rather see Bryant on the sideline than in the broadcast booth. Of course, now they have a story with the all time Lakers going after Dwight Howard for his effort in the last game.

Back to the Red Wings, this has been a tough year. I have stayed away from hockey on the principle of almost losing a second season in 10 years to greed and incompetence. Still, the strike shortened season is always a tough one to manage. Some teams like Chicago come out relatively unaffected. Others struggle. The Wings struggled. They’re not as young as they used to be. The majority of the team is well over 25. Datsyuk (34) and Zetterberg (32) are growing a little long in the tooth. The bright spot of the year has been that the shortened training session has made coach Mike Babcock give some of the younger players more ice time. It’s taken them some time to get the legs and they’ve suffered. Goal scoring has been sporadic. The defense hasn’t done a whole lot of favors for Howard. Still, the ashes of this season, should they miss the playoffs, will see that younger players got more experience. Not just in Detroit either. With luck, most hockey fans can take away the idea that the hectic strike shortened schedule has given them a look at their futures. Hopefully both players and management pull their heads out of their asses so there will be one.

Meateatiation, noun
The process of solving a conflict, or a number of conflicts between two or more parties through eating copious amounts of meat in front of the conflicting parties until an amicable agreement is reached.
1. "Me and my husbands marriage was on the rocks, until we had a few sessions of Meateatiation.......now the only problem I have to worry about is taking a stool at regular intervals."

2. "Do we really need to get the lawyers involved, can't we just settle this through the civilised means of Meateatiation?"

3. "Can't this dispute be resolved through mediation?"

"I'm afraid not Ma'am, this is far too serious, I think the only way we are going to settle this is through five two hour sessions of Meateatiation.

4. "If you two cunts can't get your fucken shit together and resolve this conflict, I'm going to be forced to eat copious amounts of meat to solve this."

"What?!?!....surely we don't need to get a Meateatiator involved?”

Yeah Mr. President I know what its like to have 50,000 people cheering for me

Greetings from the Hoodwood, where the locals are celebrating the person who assassinated the groundhog.

NBA: Dwight Howard quits on the Lakers

My buddy Dave is a die-hard Laker fan and when I came into the office yesterday I was fully expecting him to be despondent on the Lakers lifeless sweep at the hands of the Spurs a team that we both were pretty sure that the Lakers could have beaten. He was down to be sure, but he shrugged off Dwight Howard’s game 4 ejection as the residue of frustration over being fouled constantly and not being called. I disagree, now its no big secret of my disdain of Dwight Howard. I think that he is soft, he whines to the officials instead of playing hard wrecking havoc and letting the chips fall where they may. I agree with Shaq O’Neal who was vocal in his criticism of Howard saying bluntly that Howard should knock a couple heads off and the fouling would stop. Howard seems to eschew the physical nature of his position instead being more content to whine to the officials when he should be playing hard. His ejection in the 3^rd quarter of the Lakers season ending Game 4 loss was a fitting coda to a puzzling frustrating season. Many pundits thought with the acquistions of Steve Nash and Howard that the Lake Show could match the intensity of their newly robust neighbor Clippers as well as push the defending conference champ Thunder. The problems started with the Lakers 1-4 start and quick dismissal of the seemingly overwhelmed Mike Brown. Instead of Phil Jackson, Mike D’Antoni was tabbed to run the team which seems very resistant to the game plan the he was trying to install. The Lakers fell as far down as 8 games under .500 at 17-25 at the half way point of the season and this scribe was openly proclaiming that they were dead meat and not remotely a playoff team. To their credit they went 28-12 over the back half of the season and barreled down the stretch to not only get into the playoff but snag the 7^th slot. There were many saying then the Lakers would be a tough out in the postseason. But with the critical loss of Kobe Bryant and the diffendence of Howard in the playoff games the Lakers season came to a crashing halt. The Spurs more or less toyed with the Lakers thumping them in four straight with ease. The nadir was a pair of humilatiing routs in the Staples Center by 29 and 21 points. The Lakers cracked the 90 point plateau one time in the series while the Spurs scored that many in the first game and that was their low point total as they scored 102, 120, and 103 in the final three games. The Lakers suffered their first first round sweep in franchise history and never have won a game 4 after trailing 0-3. Simply humiliating. Will Dwight stay in LA? My bet is that he takes the first thing smokin' out, he cant hack it and the Laker faithful are not tolerant of losing.

NBA: Jason Collins Comes out…so?

In light of the recent revelation by top WNBA draft choice Britney Griner, this really shouldn’t be a surprise. But NBA player Jason Collins, announced that he is gay. I really don’t think that much of it. There was the sophomoric and immature postings on ESPN that I saw Monday and it wasn’t really a surprise of the common man reaction. By and large most people (including President Obama,  Shaq O’Neal, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade and former President Clinton with his daughter Chelsea who was went to Stanford with Collins) have been very supportive. Me myself, it really doesn’t matter as a subject. Collins is a workmanlike player who has been well traveled in the NBA. I think that all that should matter is if he can play. Im supportive of Collins decision and feel that its really no ones business but his own. Now,  I have friends who are gay and lesbian, and its really none of my business what anyone does in their own lifestyle. My only problem had ever been where homosexuals try to act like their civil rights struggle is the same as the one in the 1960’s. When it comes to ones sexual nature, it’s a little easier to hide than ones color. Again, I don’t care who a person is having relations with as long as both parties are of age.  But for Collins, his stand while courageous and commendable really is for naught. Collins is a free agent and I seriously doubt that he will get picked up by another team. Collins is getting up there in age and I doubt that someone of his limited skill set will be something a team would want. Of course in a perfect world that’s all that would (and should) matter but you know that many folks will be quite vocal about an openly gay player on their team. Its not right, but you know it will happen.

NFL: Caught in the draft. Cowboys flub it again

Jerry Jones is a piece of work, no one will ever doubt his savvy business acumen. The Cowboys were one of the first sports franchises to be valued at over a billion dollars. The Cowboys own their own stadium and are the envy of the other owner in the NFL. Like the old Jay-Z and Jermaine Dupri classic “Money Aint A Thang” to the Pokes. Jones has made himself and his fellow owners very very rich with his negotiation skill in the broadcasting contracts. Jones is a very skilled cat at making the duckets. But as a football head??? Welllll. Lets just say that he doesn’t have the skills for that. Jones again demonstrated that as a football GM he is seriously lacking in the acumen to scout and draft key players for his club. In the last 16 years the Pokes are at exactly .500, they have all of one playoff win. The trials and tribulations of the Pokes are well documented. They have went through 5 coaches in that span. None more than four years and only Wade Phillips more than 2 games over .500 since 1996. Jones latest draft is just not something that will raise eyebrows. His selection of center Travis Frederick at 31 after trading away the 18^th pick to the Niners for their 31^st and 74^th pick was roundly criticized and lampooned for a pick that many said would still be there at the 2^nd, 3^rd or 6^th  round.  The pick that the Pokes traded to the Niners was used on LSU DB Eric Long, someone that would have likely been gone had the Niners got their original pick. The Pokes are helping others but not helping themselves. Im seeing with more mediocre picks another mediocre season. Not like Im really heartbroken, but you know the honks and wonks will try their darndest to make the Pokes seem like they are still a whiff away from the Super Bowl.

NFL: End of the Tebow legend?

Ive never been a Tim Tebow fan and have never thought much of his ability. Many people say that Im bitter because of what his Gators did to my Bearcats in the 2010 Sugar Bowl. That’s not it (entirely) but Ive never thought much of his ability as a passer. Tebow was the cats meow in the 2011 season in Denver and his playoff win against Pittsburgh was stuff of legend. But a cat named Manning came to town and Tebow was expendable. He was shipped to New York after rejecting a possible trade to Jacksonville closer to his college stomping grounds. After being hitting NYC, he was expected to fight the embattled Mark Sanchez for the starting job, but after being ignored by head coach Rex Ryan and feuding with offensive coordinator Tony Sparano, Tebow rusted on the bench. After being passed over for 3^rd stringer Greg McElroy, Tebow was openly vocal about not getting a fair shot. What little chance Tebow had to get that shot withered with the signing of vet David Garrard and just about died with the selection of Geno Smith in the draft. The final insult is that Tebow has been outright released after many NFL teams have solidified their quarterback situation. Tebow will likely be waiting for a call that might never come from a NFL club. This might be the last we see of Tebow in an NFL situation…I don’t think that Tebow was ever going to get a shot in NYC and with his steadfast resistance to playing any other position will likely keep him from suiting up for any other NFL  team

NHL: Red Wings make it 22

I was worried, Ill tell you that. The Red Wings were teetering on the brink of missing the playoffs for the first time since 1990. The Wings tottered but didn’t fall apart. Buoyed by signing a long term deal Goalie Jimmy Howard played like a beast down the stretch leading the Wings to a 4-0-1 finish that netted them 9 crucial points and with a 3-0 win over the Stars on the final night of the regular season got them one of the last two remaining playoff berths. The Wings have a tough draw in the Anaheim Ducks to be sure but Im glad to see the Wings maintain pro sports longest postseason at 22 seasons. They have made the playoffs longer than the existence of 9 teams and have seen 5 other teams relocate. But its through the three captains and three coaches that the Wings made the playoffs a spring tradition.

Video Vault

Carlos Defino did an oh my goodness dunk on Kevin Durant Monday night in the Rockets game 4 win against the Thunder

But Durant got a bit of a payback later in the game...

This has been an entertaining series for a 1-8, Though the Rockets staved off elimination Monday. I think the Thunder close it out tomorrow in OKC.

PHAT DAP/HEAD SLAP

Phat Dap

D.J. Hayden was selected by the Oakland Raiders in the 1^st round. Hayden has an inspirational story Hayden was an all-conference defensive back who was winding down a promising college career. Hayden was in a freak collision during a late season practice which severed one of his arteries near his heart. Hayden very nearly died in surgery but was able to not only overcome the injury but impress enough to be selected by the Raiders as the 12^th overall pick. Heres to an overcomer, Hoodwood is rooting for this guy, if not to be a great player, just to survive and be well

Head Slap

Brandon Jennings , the talented Bucks guard who openly bragged that his 38 win Milwaukee Bucks would beat the defending NBA champ Heat who not only had 66 wins but had won 36 of the last 38 games. Jennings instead of being humble and saying that he would do his best to lead the Bucks to an upset, Jennings said that the Bucks would beat the Heat in six games. Well the Bucks not only got swept aside like so much detritus by the Heat, the games weren’t even close, The Heat won all four games by double digits the finale being the closest at 11. Jennings prognostication skills aren’t that good and making outlandish predictions like he did wont help it.

Thats the View from The Hoodwood, Until Next Post Fellow Sports Fans!

The tavern doors have swung open wide, what with Shorty being back in town, and the Bandit tossing darts in the corner waiting on some of that left over movie theater popcorn we get every week.  

I spent Saturday desperately trying to start my “guaranteed to start” lawnmower, listening to a David Sedaris audio-book.  I’m sore from swinging a maul at some unwanted bushes and tired from 4 hours of wandering around my home compound, looking at all the stuff I need to do.  Life in the United States is largely a good thing – hard to beat complaining that I couldn’t mow my lawn while drinking a Yuengling I’d acquired earlier this week on a business trip.  For what its worth, if Fred Lite wasn’t the beer of choice at the Tavern, Yuengling certainly would be – except for the fact it’s unavailable here in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.  This is an abomination of the greatest order.

At the same time the NFL draft kicked off – something I often pay little attention to as I don’t often watch or follow college ball, but I love that it means the football season is only a few months away and the strategy behind moving picks – the landing gear from one of the airplanes that crashed into the World Trade Center on 9/11 was found.  Its amazing to me that in a city resided in by millions, visited by millions, some 12-years later, landing gear could have been found in an alley.  Makes you wonder what other treasures or pieces of evidence of crimes remain all around us, unnoticed.    To keep myself sane, I keep my thoughts strictly to the strategy behind moving the 29^th pick in the draft. 

My thoughts turn to the young baseball season.  I began the season generally dispirited by the prospects of my beloved Red Sox.  The question I started the season with was who would collapse faster/sooner: the be-diapered Red Sox or the elderly Yankees.  To this point, though, the Sox are tied for the best record in baseball with the Rangers.  And, really, for years – culminating with last seasons’ discontent – I’ve railed against the Sox “pulling a Yankees” by buying up players and maxing out the payroll, so in reality this season is refreshing even if it doesn’t end in a duck boat parade.

Where last years’ team was the personification of Catholic guilt – hating the players, but loving the team – this years team is actually likeable.  I’m not sure I know what to do with myself.  I’m a Bostonian damnit.  I’m not supposed to feel like this.  There has to be SOME downside – young, and untalented; old, overpaid, and under-achieving.  This is not the Pittsburgh Pirates.  This is the Sox team I’ve been begging for, it’s time to just enjoy the season….and hope the Yankees collapse – which would make my summer absolutely complete. 

 On the very day Radatz questioned what David Ortiz can bring to the table this season for the Sox, Papi energized the city with some profanity and some good old fashioned home town parochialism, and has since been performing to a pretty high level.  He’s set the bar pretty high and thusfar has kept up as role model to the rebuilt Sox.  I’d be lying to you if I told you I saw that coming, but then again sometimes veteran leadership in the clubhouse can energize a city AND a team.  I’m totally on board with the idea that Ortiz might be ridiculously overpaid, but so far he’s demonstrating the leadership of a man who wants to be on the team. 

Quick Hits: Supreme Court Stephen Breyer underwent surgery on his shoulder after a bicycling accident.  I have to say I love the idea that a 74-year old man is riding a bicycle.  I can barely handle walking around my yard and complaining about how crappy it looks, and this cat is off riding a bike. 

The dude the Feds have fingered as the person responsible for mailing ricin laced letters to the President is a martial arts instructor.  Seriously?  This is 2013, and you think you can just mail the President a poison letter and he’s going to just open it up…AND you’re not going to get caught?  Anyone who ever paid this dolt for martial arts lessons ought to get their money back, because the man is clearly not very bright.

We were in a department store and I put my hands on a Hartford Whalers lid.  I thought it was pretty cool, and tried it on, considering buying it.  I asked my boy what he thought, and the 7-year old said, “if you wore that years ago, you wouldn’t have had any girlfriends OR a wife.”  Deciding, then, it meant that the most opportune moment to have acquired this hat had long since passed, I put it down.

I leave you with this passing thought from the draft:

Hey Hey Hey!!! Howdy and good day. Welcome Gabbers and others to my NASCAR updates and other fast stuff. It's been a whirlwind of activity in NASCAR this past week. I'm overwhelmed. Not sure where to start. I knew this year would be different and unpredictable with this new car but this is off the charts.

KANSAS LAST WEEK

So here we go. At Kansas last week, Kenseth had the pole and led the most laps and won the race. Then he flunked post race inspection. Seems one of his connecting rods was like 2 grams lighter than the other 7. BUT all together they weighed more than they needed. This in my opinion didn't give Kenseth an advantage. In my opinion NASCAR is nit picking. Going at 200 mph with a connecting rod that's a tad lighter than the rest would make the engine unbalanced and be a motor death waiting to happen. There has to be more to it I'm sure.

But long story short there were huge fines, suspensions and Kenseth lost 50 points as well as not being able to use that win toward the championship. Toyota apologized and took full responsibility. JGR is appealing. The guys at National Stock Car Racing Commission will be busy this and next month. Keselowski and Logano go in for their appeal this week.

It was a tough race last week for many. Kyle kept spinning out. Said he had no indication it would happen. The last time he spun out was lap 103 and he took out Logano with him. 

Mark Martin kept scraping the wall but ended up with a 9th. 

Ms Danica was doing her usual bumping off other cars. Her and Gilliland got into it at one point and she was threatening to take him out. He had his people tell her people to tell her to shut up and drive. That of course is the clean version. 25th and minus 2 laps.

Keselowski got into some trouble and had rear end damage. Some how he didn't draw a black flag from NASCAR to get it fixed. He lost a large chunk of sheet metal with 50 to go and it brought out a caution sending a lot of drivers a lap down or to the back. Of course it benefited him. He got an 11th out of it. Guess NASCAR didn't want to hear him cry that he was being singled out.

The top 15 finishers - Kenseth - Kahne - Johnson - Truex - Bowyer - Keselowski - Almirola - Martin - Menard - Stenhouse - Harvick - Gordon - Newman - Kurt B

RICHMOND THIS WEEK

Despite Kenseth having an appeal waiting on the penalties from last week he was on a hell bent to rebound mission and he nabbed the pole for Richmond. He didn't win but he got a point for leading the most laps. We'll see if his car passes post race inspection. 

My fantasy leagues were all blown out of the water. It was full moon and all the drivers lost their minds or turned into werewolves inside their cars. Just incredible and stupid. Bristol is the place you see the craziness that went on here tonight. No patience or brotherly love.

Gordon was 2nd until about lap 15 or so he started complaining of an illhandling car and dropped back. Wayyyyyyyyyyy back. Back into the 20's. Took most of the race and the crazy bumper car eliminations in progress to get him back up front.

Kenseth had a dragging piece of metal and NASCAR told his crew to take care of it. It cost him his top spot. Bowyer led 113 laps then. 

Keselowski smacked the wall at one point. He did recover only to lose a cylinder with 20 to go and was black flagged for not keeping up to speed.

Stewart, Johnson and Kyle were a caution. Stewart claimed responsibility.

Kahne and Newman were beating on each other at one point. Then Kahne and Martin get into it with Martin getting the losing end of it and back to the garage. Vickers ran into Martin during that spin and he managed to limp along but with 6 to go he loses his steering and the wreck turns the race into a green white checker ending.

At this point Montoya was on his way to a win with Harvick it close pursuit. All pitted for tires except McMurry, Burton and Allmendinger. The restart was off the charts with cars bouncing off each other and going 3 and 4 wide. 

Unofficial top 15 - Harvick - Bowyer - Logano - Montoya - Burton - Edwards - Kenseth - Almirola - Kurt B - Dale Jr - Gordon - Johnson - Menard - Allmendinger - Newman

After the finish line drivers were still slamming into each other. Stewart and Kurt got into it on the track, on pit road & in the garage area. 

So Chip Gnassi's cars are coming to life with those new Hendrick motors. Montoys led about 61 laps and McMurry was peeking in on the top 10 too. Hello guys. 

Almirola gets 3 top 10's in a row. Score one for Richard Petty's team.

And how about Burton? A 5th place for the old guy. Not too shabby. 

Next week it's Talladega. Fast and furious. Wild and wicked. And totally unpredictable. I'll have better updates next week. Hamlin didn't get the clearance to race this week and is considering scrapping his season for surgery. He's had some bulging disks which he was meaning to get fixed but put it off. Now would be the ideal time. I know one thing for sure. As soon as they lift the no trading on my fantasy leagues, Vickers is gone. Don't know what the hell happened to him but you'd think he never drove before after seeing him these past few weeks. I'm actually sorry for Hamlin. He has a front row seat to watch it. Cringe worthy.

Hope the draft went well for your favorite NFL teams. I'm making my draft list up early. I'm kind of excited for fantasy football because NASCAR fantasy is sucking right now.

But any who. It's Sunday. Baseball, sunshine, and hopefully some warmer weather. I froze mowing the lawn this week. How does that happen? You all enjoy your Sunday. Hug your best friend, your kids, your waitress, your dog, your teddy bear or whoever. Just get those hugs going. The world needs them right now. Take care, stay safe and...

I'm outta here......

The new sports spectacular that is the NFL brings us the draft this week - woohoo!  It is the annual ritual of creating hope for the hopeless and young millionaires out of young men who have never played a down in the NFL.  

(Speaking of millionaires, isn't great to know our Congress can get money to help them get out of DC for the air traffic controllers but no so much for a lot of other things that don't impact them?  As a frequent flier, I am glad the air traffic controllers are back, but it seems like not a very fair situation to me.) 

The NFL Draft has become one of the staples of the spring sports calendar but I really can't see why so many follow this with the focus of an NFL General Manager.  After the first 5 or 10 guys, or even the first round, does anyone know who any of these guys are?  OK, well maybe Mel Kiper does, but who is he?  Actually, I give Mel credit for creating his own cottege industry.  He started it years ago by publishing his annual breakdown of college talent and when ESPN got into the act, Mel somehow got on TV.  You can see why they only put him on once a year - he has a face better suited for radio.  I admit to tracking the Redskins picks over the years because generally they have been in the top 5 or 10...and then they previously picked so poorly, it had entertainment value.  But for people following picks in Round 7, I recommend they seek professional counseling - or better yet, go outside and play catch or hit a golf ball - do something.

So the Chiefs and everyone else fairly well focused on linemen in the first round.  Not too much celebrity power in that! Manti Te'o and Geno Smith did not go until Round 2.  Maybe that was a little bit of a story, but I thought Te'o was crushed by Alabama - it reminded me of Heath Shuler who was mauled in the Sugar Bowl but still got drafted #1 by the Redskins...after his cup of coffee in the NFL, he ended up where?  you guessed it - Congress!  The cycle is complete.

The Redskins drafted sensibly with a CB and a TE...fine by me.  I am sure they are fine young men and I hope they help the team...we shall see what happens.  How did your team do?  Any major observations?  Any Jets fans out there - how do you feel about Geno Smith taking over for the perpetually over-rated Mark Sanchez on the perpetually over-hyped Jets.  (Really, is there any team that gets more undeserving coverage than the Jets?  After Joe Namath, what have they ever really done other than always get picked to do something and then lose?  They have a blow-hard coach and a below average talent team.  Thanks ESPN).

NHL Playoff Time has Finally Arrived!

In about a week and a half, we are going to start to see the first of 8 line ups to shake hands as the first round of the NHL playoffs will be drawing to a close.  In the East we have the 8 teams...Pittsburgh, Boston, Washington & Montreal as the top 4 seeds and then Toronto, both New York Teams and Ottawa to round out the field.  I feel fairly confident Boston & Pittsburgh will be in round 2 no matter who they play.  A Toronto - Montreal match up would be fun just from a nostalgia situation and I guess I am a closet Leaf fan so I hope they would win that series.  It would seem like the Capitals have good momentum, and I will still pick them to eek through to round 2 because I love what Adam Oates has done as a coach...but after 35 years of playoff heartbreak, I am well-prepared for the opposite outcome. 

In the West, will Columbus get in and force out either Minnesota or end the Red Wings run of 21 years of playoff appearances?   Whoever gets in is rewarded with a series with the Blackhawks - go luck with that.  Anaheim, Vancouver and St. Louis round out the top 4 in the West and they will be going up against LA, San Jose and then two of the three aforementioned teams.  Again, it would be hard to believe Chicago and Anaheim won't push through into the second round, although I will be watching how Bruce Boudreau does with Anaheim.  He really struggled coaching in the playoffs in DC.  I like Bruce, so I hope he does well.  Beyond that, the other two California teams would seem to be dangerous foes - San Jose and the defending champ Kings are my picks to rounds out the west.

Bryce Harper at 20... Maybe the Best 20 Year Old Ever

Do yourself a favor and watch a couple of Nationals games or at least catch a few of Bryce Harper's at bats.  This kid is really something special.  The kid is 20 years old and here is his April line:

AVG: .363

HR:  8

RBI: 16

OBP: .440

SLG:  .750

Those are almost unbelievable...consider he was hitting .400 in Spring Training.  He is the closest thing to The Natural that I have ever seen and I am lucky enough to see him play every night.  I am going to the game tomorrow and since Dan Haren is pitching, the Nats are going to have to hit to get a win.  I hope to see a little more of the Bryce Harper Legend just like I did on Opening Day.   The kid plays ball with passion - I love it!

I am really going to have to be on my toes next week as I will be reporting from Ireland.  A traveler has to go where a traveler has to go.  And a Top of the Mornin' to You, Laddy!