YouGabSports Blogs
The Times They Are A Changin'
Category: FEATURED

   The world we live in, it is a changin’… but the real question is whether or not these changes are for the better! Of the biggest stories going on in sports right now, each one involves new issues that likely wouldn’t even be in the spotlight years ago.

   The biggest story going on right now has to be the two game suspension received by Ravens RB Ray Rice in response to his cold cocking his girlfriend (now wife) on an Atlantic City elevator and dragging her unconscious body off the elevator on camera. This ugly incident, documented by security cameras, snagged him a two game suspension after his legal process was finished (he entered a pre-trial intervention program off the field) and he made his appeal to the NFL. Meanwhile, multiple players over the years have been caught smoking pot or tested positive for other forms of drugs, and the basic standard there seems to be four games for a first offense. Second offense generally snags you either a full season ban or damn near that.

   I’m sure as hell not condoning the actions of men who choose to risk millions upon millions of dollars to smoke pot. If you’re too stupid to understand that it is against the rules and don’t have the willpower to abstain from that activity, you deserve every shitty, terrible thing that comes your way. And don’t give me that “addiction” shit… pot is NOT ADDICTIVE! I smoked pot nearly every freaking day for three years in my late teens/early twenties. Then I found out I was going to be a father, got my shit together, and stopped smoking pot. I didn’t need a fucking rehab program, a support group…. None of that stupid shit. I simply quit doing it. Not complicated, not difficult. I did that so I could make ten bucks an hour and help support my growing family… I sure as hell would have done it for millions of dollars! My honest opinion on drugs in general; legalize everything and let natural selection run its course! We could use a thinning of the herd if you ask me.

   The issue I’m seeing here is the fact that domestic violence seems to be a much lower crime on the NFL’s radar screen than the use of recreational drugs. There is opportunity here for the league to set a solid example for kids out there and sit Ray Rice down for half a season in response to the atrocious actions he was caught on tape performing… but instead we get two games. Way to take a strong stand on violence against women, NFL. Does this move do anything to hurt the Shield, though? Do female fans of this league begin to realize that the league does not give two shits about them? Does one week of pink jerseys and pink accessories for breast cancer research make up for the fact that a player who chooses to get high gets a stiffer penalty than one who decides to beat a woman?

  Then today I see that the Minnesota Twins have cancelled the Hall of Fame celebration planned for former Rookie of the Year and 4-time All-Star Chuck Knoblauch due to his most recent in a string of domestic violence issues. So the Minnesota Twins care more about violence against women than the entire NFL does…

  Of course, the saddest thing about all of this is the reality that this is actually on par with the legal system in this country! Domestic violence will normally land you in some pointless anger management program that is more likely to make you angrier than you were before than it is to provide any actual help… while possession of drugs is treated as a federal crime and the penalties are much harsher. Violent crimes vs. the victimless crime of choosing to use recreational drugs. And the saddest truth is this; in both cases it all comes down to the bottom dollar. You think for a minute that if Colorado becomes a solid model for what type of revenue states can make off legalized pot that the rest of the nation won’t soon follow suit? The fact is, it’s all about the bottom dollar. Ray Rice punching his wife in the fact does not affect his on-field performance, but use of marijuana would. That is exactly why the Shield goes after drug users and largely ignores those who commit violent offenses off the field. It’s all about the money in the end… maybe if people are mad enough about this to quit watching, buying merchandise, etc., the NFL will get the message and change their ways… but somehow I highly doubt any of that is going to happen any time soon.

   The other big story this week involves the media’s favorite form of whipping boy… a Conservative Christian who dared to say something they could spin into being anti-gay. Tony Dungy gave an interview to the Tampa Tribune just after the NFL Draft, and he was asked whether or not he would have used a 7th round pick on Rams DE Michael Sam, who is the league’s first openly gay player. Dungy responded by essentially saying his ability level does not warrant the distraction. When the interview was given, Oprah still had plans to follow Sam during training camp for a TV series. So, what are your thoughts on Dungy, Gabbers… homophobic religious nut or just the victim of a slow news day?

  My take on this is twofold… First, I am sick and tired of people screaming and crying for equality, but then turning around and using their “differences” to gain advantages or publicity. First it’s “we just want to live a normal life like all of you”… fine, go ahead. But then, it becomes “well, we feel we deserve a few extras… you know, for all the strife and anguish we’ve been through”. Either you want equality or you want superior treatment. What people seem to miss is the fact that the gay population worldwide makes up 3% of all people. 3%... yet we act as though their rights should be a higher priority than anyone or anything else’s. Look, I am all for equality. If a man wants to marry a man, woman, or a fucking inanimate object… let him! To each his own… I just don’t want to see it or hear about it! As long as no one is being raped and no little kids are being molested, keep your business in the bedroom and the hell away from my eyes and ears.

  Second, when the hell did we start letting the media decide what it is we need to be outraged and upset about? Anymore, it seems like every week they trot out someone or something that we all need to put a stop to or chastise until they fade away from memory. What the hell happened to everyone having the same, equal rights? It seems as though the media has taken a Liberal slant on everything… and anyone who is not of their exact opinion is the enemy. Does anyone else remember a time when if you disagreed with something someone thought, you might actually accept the fact that that person is entitled to their own opinion on something? Nope, now we have to “change” the way people think and the way they act if it is perceived to be incorrect by the masses. The way I see it, if someone chooses to be narrow minded, let them! Let them deprive themselves of relationships with others based on things as stupid as their race or sexual orientation. It’s THEIR LOSS, not society’s! It seems more and more like the media is going over to mind-control mode… and they are targeting anyone who does not agree with their narrative. This is dangerous, folks… the more the media controls people, the more everyone starts to fall in line, and the more the media goes from being an asset of the people (keeping you informed on things) to a liability (keeping you in line and doing exactly what the “powers that be” want). You really have to start wondering what the endgame is here. Are we heading for a “Big Brother”, 1984 type of society?

  But in the end, it seems that Tony Dungy was simply the victim of a slow news day. Dungy was praised before as a pioneer, one of the first black head coaches in the NFL, the first to win a Super Bowl, etc. Now, he is chastised because the media’s new favorite child, the gay community, was not praised and celebrated by Dungy. It seems like doing anything short of getting down on your knees and worshipping the ground that the gay community walks on is unacceptable. Personally, I am getting tired of this bullshit!

  As I said before, I don’t care if someone is gay or straight… I’m married, I’m not looking! I don’t know just by looking at you, and I don’t fucking need to know. The whole thing reminds me of a guy I used to work with… he had all the stereotypical mannerisms associated with homosexuals, and it was pretty obvious (especially since his boyfriend also worked there). I talked to the guy a lot, and one day he looked at me point blank and said “you know I’m gay, right?” At that point, I broke off the conversation we were having, shook his hand and said “congratulations”, then went right back into what we were talking about! Like I said… I do not give a single, solitary fuck what it is people do in the privacy of their own homes, so long as they aren’t hurting anyone else. I have no “moral high ground”… I don’t believe in the “sanctity of marriage”… especially with a nearly 50% national divorce rate. During the whole Phil Robertson debacle I asked my friend exactly what he thought about what he had said… his answer was a priceless one… “Who the fuck is Phil Robertson?” But let’s put things into perspective here… 3% of the world population is gay… so you tell me how it best serves the “greater good” to destroy any and every one that chooses to be straight and not praise the pro-gay agenda?

  Chris Paul apparently isn’t done playing activist… he’s threatening to sit out the next season if Donald Sterling is not removed as owner of the Clippers. Personally, I say go ahead and sit out… nobody is going to miss you. Maybe the whole team will, and the Clippers will be even less relevant than usual. I get a guy not wanting to play for a racist owner, but the fact that you’ve ignored his racism before and continued to cash the checks he signed doesn’t make you righteous or an activist; it makes you someone who sold his soul and now wants it back because the fact that Sterling is a racist is now public knowledge. This is yet another example of the media gone wild, though. Anybody remember Marge Schott a few years back… she was five times the racist Donald Sterling is! Yet it took years to run her out of her spot at Reds’ owner. Sterling says something semi-racist in a phone conversation (and no, you’re not going to convince me that what he said was racist) and is gone in less than a month. As I said before… if someone wants to be a racist, LET THEM! Let them be cut off and isolated from society as much as they want to be, and continue with normal society as usual. Chances are they really won’t be missed, anyhow! Still haven’t seen anyone boycotting an interview with Oprah, by the way.

  Before I call it a day, I'd like to say Happy Birthday to our good friend Old Harry today! Hope you have a great day buddy.

  That’s all I’ve got for today folks. Thanks as always for reading, and I hope you all have a great weekend.


Weekly Grumble with IHM 7/19
Category: FEATURED


  Well folks, it’s that special time of the week again… time for another grumble with your old pal IHM. Been a pretty dull week in sports… the All-Star game was Tuesday, meaning that Monday, Wednesday and Thursday were void of any actual sports! It was a pretty crazy week for us; we made a major life decision and had to break the news to family and friends, then Thursday we had to take the boy down to Detroit to take care of some dental issues he has.

  Mrs. IHM and I have been contemplating a major move for some time now; leaving the state of Michigan and it’s astronomical cost of living for somewhere cleaner, greener, and much, much quieter. Over the 4th of July weekend, we took a trip down to Akron, Ohio then further down to Lancaster, Ohio, to go visit with family, with a family reunion in Lancaster planned for Sunday. This was as much a scouting trip as it was a trip to visit family. After some consideration, we’ve settled on Lancaster… so right now we’re working on getting our house listed, finding a rental down in Lancaster, and getting all our stuff boxed up and ready to move four hours or so south!

  The biggest perks in moving down to Lancaster have to be the services Ohio offers for Autistic children compared to Michigan. My son will receive an additional two hours of therapies per week through the Forest Rose Academy that is a public school option in Lancaster, plus ABA therapy that is not offered at all in Michigan currently. It also puts us a whole lot closer to doing what the wife and I have long dreamed of doing… starting a family farm and becoming a lot more self-sufficient. It is going to be a crazy month or two coming up, but it will all be well worth it once everything comes together!

  As for our adventure in Detroit… that was one hell of an ordeal! My boy, as you all know, has Autism. This makes it damn near impossible to do any sort of dental procedure on him (even brushing his teeth in the morning and at night is a real bitch!)… so in order to be able to do anything, they have to put him under. The only freaking dental office in this part of Michigan that is willing to do it is downtown… so we had to make an appointment two months ago (yeah, they were booked THAT far in advance), and finally the day arrived this week. Once he was finally K.O.’ed, they got his cleaning and cavity check done, and they marveled at how good his teeth were compared to other Autistic kids they’d seen at their office. That was a solid win for me and Mrs. IHM!

   On the ride home, the boy was still knocked out! We got him home at around three… and then he passed out on the couch for another two hours until we finally were able to wake him up for dinner. He ate like a champ, though, and then decided to pass back out at nine! The wife told me I should head out and hang out with some buddies since we are leaving state in a short while, so I went out drinking and she went to bed having to work in the morning. Around midnight, drunk off my ass, I get a text from her telling me the boy is up! FUCK! So I sobered the hell up as much as possible and got my ass home. Sitting around with an 8 year old while you’re still pretty buzzed from 12:30 until what turned out to be 4:30 turned out being a bigger ordeal than the dental appointment was! So, I finally dragged my drunken ass up to bed at around quarter to five… and the boy woke up for the day at quarter to eight! Right now, I’m running on freaking fumes!

   I had a solid rant prepared for what happened at the All-Star game Tuesday (more so about what DIDN’T happen there)… but Hal did one hell of a job talking about it in his Friday Featured Blog.

   So, that said, I will rant about something else that annoys the hell out of me about baseball’s mid-summer classic… the fact that it determines home-field advantage for the World Series! Absolute stupidity… and all to make up for the fact that the asshat commissioner called an All-Star game after 12 innings a decade or so ago. We’re over it, Selig! Stop the madness. Go back to the team with the best record getting home field advantage… which in baseball is a very big deal, especially interleague baseball. I know we have a few “purists” among us, but I really have to ask… does anybody out there still oppose using a designated hitter instead of having scrawny little pitchers up at the plate 3-4 times per game? For me, I’d rather see an actual hitter with a better than 15% chance at bat. But, it makes a big difference in the way a game is managed, and it is not the kind of thing that should be determined by a fucking exhibition game! Stop the fucking madness, Bud… you done fucked up a decade ago, now stop punishing everyone for your own stupidity!

  The regular season for baseball resumes Friday night, and the second half is officially underway. I’m with Ol’ Harry… the All-Star game signifies the halfway point of the baseball season, not any certain number of games. It looks like we’ll have some pretty solid races the rest of the way.

  The AL East looks like a two-team race unless the Yankees or Sawx make a big move sometime soon. The Yankees are without Sabathia and likely Tanaka for the rest of the season now, and the Sawx are just having an awful time of it as defending champs. The Orioles lead the way as of today with the Blue Jays nipping at their heels. I’ll pick the Orioles here, but I could see the Jays snagging a Wild Card spot, especially if Encarnacion comes back with a vengeance late.

  The AL Central looks like it is Detroit’s to lose. They really have to hope Joe Nathan wakes the fuck up and takes care of his business as closer… otherwise DD better get his ass on the phone and get something done before July 31st. The Royals have been solid this year, as have the Indians, with both teams hovering around .500. Even the White Sox seem to be in the running for second place with Jose Abreu making the leap to the Majors pretty well, leading baseball in home runs at this point. The Twins shouldn’t be much of a problem from here on out.

  The AL West is more or less a three team race now. The Rangers have lost 4/5ths of their starting rotation, with Yu Darvish the only initial starter left standing right now. The Astros looked solid for a while there, but not even mighty mite Jose Altuve can get this team on the winning track. The Oakland A’s improved their lot with the deal they made with the Cubs, and now that the Braves have cut loose 2B Dan Uggla, they might consider adding him to add some punch at that position. The Angels with perennial MVP candidate Mike Trout are right behind them after playing some impressive June/July baseball, and the Mariners are still Wild Card contenders as well. I’ll take the A’s to win it and the Angels to snag the other Wild Card.

   The NL East is anyone’s guess… the Nats and Braves are neck and neck, and the Mets, Marlins, and Phillies are all at least seven games out. I say the Nats hold on to the top spot by virtue of starting pitching, but the Braves should contend for a Wild Card spot.

  The NL Central is a cluster fuck as usual! Milwaukee is still on top by a game… with St.Louis, Cincy, and Pittsburgh right on their ass. You have to wonder if the Cardinals have anything in them with Yadi Molina likely out the rest of the season now. This might just open the door for another Pittsburgh run. I know that’s who I’m rooting for! As usual, the Cubs are irrelevant!

  In the NL West, the Dodgers have taken advantage of a terrible June/July out of the Giants and taken the division lead at the break. The Padres, Rockies, and Diamondbacks are all at least 12 games out, and will all be sellers at the trade deadline. I’ll take the Dodgers to win the division and the Giants to take the second Wild Card spot.

  As for the World Series this year, I’ll go with a Nationals-A’s World Series matchup… with the A’s taking it 4-2. Billy Beane finally gets his ring.

  Mike Trout will finally get his MVP award in the AL, and Cutch wins it yet again in the NL. I’ll go with King Felix for the AL Cy Young and Johnny Cueto in the NL.

  Bad news for Astros fans, as the team was unable to reach a deal with #1 overall pick Brady Aiken before the 5PM Friday deadline. He’ll attend college instead, playing for UCLA next year.

  If you hurry, you might be able to vote still as for which number the King will use in Cleveland for his second tour of duty… unfortunately, I don’t give a shit isn’t an option!

  Floyd Mayweather, Jr. finally did something fairly entertaining the other day. When asked about a quote from man beast and MMA women’s champion Rhonda Rousey that boasted she would “hurt him bad”, Money Mayweather simply said “Never heard of him”. Seriously… somebody check that roided out freak for a pair of naughty nuggets already!

  Former Pacer Lance Stephenson doesn’t want to be defined as an “ear blower”, despite his blatantly homoerotic display of ear blowing during the playoffs while the Pacers faced the Heat. Here’s an idea dumb fuck… if you don’t want to be defined as an “ear blower”, don’t blow in grown men’s ears on national television. I hope you are a major bust in Charlotte!

  That’s all I’ve got for today ladies and gents! Thanks, as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers.

Weekly Grumble with IHM... the King Hath Returned Edition
Category: FEATURED

  Bow down Cleveland… your King has returned!

 Hello folks, and welcome to this week’s grumble with IHM. This week, the big story is the return of LeBron James to the Cleveland Cavilers basketball team on Friday afternoon, a move that stopped the world in mid-rotation, a move that has fathers bringing their first born sons for sacrifice to please his Majesty, a move that has Brian Windhorst of ESPN using his unwashed, game-used LeBron James headband to choke himself while he masturbates frantically in excitement!  Bow down, you peasants, and rejoice. Repent for your past sins of booing him, burning his jerseys, and break out the credit cards. Order up those season tickets, buy out the team store as soon as they get a LeBron jersey in stock! Your savior is here… and you are all truly, truly lucky that you were “chosen” by the chosen one Himself. ESPN will be back in town again… and your hard earned dollars will continue to make Dan Gilbert an even wealthier man. Sorry Miami, you can just break off and drift off into the Atlantic now; your King has forsaken you.

  So now that the Cavs have officially won the 2015 NBA Championship, I guess there is little more to discuss as far as basketball goes. Sure, Bosh, Wade, and Mello are still on the market. Sure, the Spurs team that dismantled James’ Heat squad in five games in the 2014 NBA Finals is still intact. Sure, there are 30 other teams in the league, but NONE OF THEM MATTER. The Cavs are here. Soon they will trade whatever junk they have laying around for Kevin Love, and I will go from rooting for Kevin Love to rooting against him… and when that happens, I predict the 2014-15 NBA season will simply be cancelled, and the Larry O’Brien trophy will simply be handed to the Cavs. Well, maybe that means the NHL might actually get some kind of spotlight… so it’s not all bad.

  But in all seriousness… the fucking guy writes a fucking essay, published by Sports Illustrated, to announce this “Decision”? Yet another douche move on his part. And of course, ESPN has wall to wall coverage of this, and they’ll probably be touching themselves to the news for a couple of weeks now, and if the Cavs actually manage to bring another guy in to make it a new “Big Three”… look the fuck out! Good bye regularly scheduled programming… bye bye Baseball Tonight, NFL Live, the Home Run Derby Monday night... SportsCenter? Try LeBronCenter. They’ll change their fucking call letters to LBJN.

  As for folks in Cleveland… really? Are you that desperate for a championship that you’re excited that this douchebag is back in town? You really want to go out and buy up those tickets, those jerseys because the King decided you were good enough now that he’s won a few championships? I’m waiting on the side-by-side shot of some douche burning his old LeBron jersey and sporting a shiny new one that he just dropped $150 on!

  Not one, not two, well, maybe just two. At least Mickey Ariens didn’t spout off like a scorned woman as Dan Gilbert did back in 2010. He said he was shocked and disappointed, but he thanked James for the championships (aka, all the money he made him over the past four years). Now Miami has been removed from ESPN’s radar… good luck to Israel Gutierrez, your services will no longer be needed. Hope you enjoyed your four-year career in broadcast journalism. Dwayne Wade will fade into obscurity, as will the Heat… soon the franchise will go bankrupt, the city will fall into anarchy, and burn to the ground without its’ king.

  But the biggest issue this creates is the competition between James and fellow Cleveland athlete Johnny Football to be the biggest douche in the sports universe! Can the blue-collar folks of Cleveland handle this level of douchebaggery? Can it possibly be contained? LA, New York, they are used to this sort of rampant stupidity and ridiculousness… but Cleveland? Come on now. Cleveland is now the epicenter for douchebaggery in the world of professional sports. I feel for you, Beeze, but at least it’ll give you some solid ranting fodder!

  As for the rest of the world of sports (yeah, despite ESPN’s best efforts, there STILL are other things going on), baseball is nearing its All-Star break, the NFL is nearing training camps, and there are some moves being made here and there in the NHL. No word yet as to whether or not the MLB All-Star game will be postponed so that we can all have a day of reverence for the greatness that is the all powerful, all giving, and all knowing LeBron James. Mostly so we can all have a day to enjoy just how lucky we all are to share a planet with such a remarkable human being. I mean sure, he can’t really speak proper English… but he can dunk a basketball!

  It’s going to be a rough fucking week for the folks blogging Monday-Thursday with baseball in its’ All Star break. Well, maybe you’ll get lucky and somebody in the NFL will get arrested or something!

  As for me, that’s all I’ve got for this week folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Enjoy your weekend, Gabbers.

Your 2014 MLB All-Stars... as picked by IHM
Category: FEATURED


 It’s the 5th of July now, and we all know what that means… the MLB All-Star game is right around the corner… and it’s time to cast some votes for this year’s AL and NL squads. I’m going to go ahead and give you all my ballot, and I’ll add pitchers and backups to the fold as well to fill out a complete 34-man roster. Sorry to go this route for the week, but I'll be on the road on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to visit family in Akron and then down to Lancaster for a family reunion on the wife's side. Hope you all have a great, safe 4th of July holiday!

   AL 1B- Miguel Cabrera, Detroit. Miggy is hitting .311, 31 points higher than Abreu, and has the same number of RBI with Abreu missing a week or so due to injury. I’d start Miggy, but Abreu is certainly next in line. Edwin Encarnacion is my third guy at first base. Brandon Moss of the A's deserves mention here, but just misses the cut.

   NL 1B- Paul Goldschmidt, Arizona. Goldschmidt has put together a nice first half, hitting .305 with 15/54 with no real protection in the lineup. I’ll take Justin Morneau as my backup; although he's damn close to breaking into the starting lineup these days with Goldschmidt in a bit of a slump lately. He’s having a great comeback season in Colorado. Anthony Rizzo of the Cubs is my second backup.

AL 2B- Jose Altuve, Houston. Altuve leads the AL in batting average, steals, and hits, and is certainly becoming one of the best pure hitters in all of baseball. Altuve gets the starting nod for me, while Robinson Cano and Ian Kinsler get backup spots.

NL 2B-  Anthony Rendon, Washington. A few weeks ago, I'd say that Neil Walker should be the starter for the NL at 2B, but Anthony Rendon of the Nats has caught fire recently, and now boasts the best power numbers of all NL second basemen, hitting .280 with 12/48. I'll go with Chase Utley and Daniel Murphy of the Mets as backups.

AL SS- Alexei Ramirez, Chicago. Alexei is hitting .294 with 8/41 and 14 steals, and is a big part of Chicago’s somewhat surprising season thus far. Alcides Escobar of Kansas City and Erick Aybar of the Angels back him up.

NL SS- Troy Tulowitzki, Colorado. Tulo is hitting an amazing .355 with 18/45, and is the runaway pick at short for the National League. Starlin Castro of the Cubs and Hanley Ramirez of LA are his backups.


AL 3B- Josh Donaldson, Oakland. Donaldson got hosed last year out of an All-Star spot. His average is a bit on the low side at .249, but you can’t argue his power numbers of 17/51… especially considering he calls the Oakland Coliseum home! Kyle Seager of the Mariners and Adrian Beltre of the Rangers back him up.

NL 3B- Casey McGehee, Miami. The Marlins found a diamond in the rough with McGehee. He has only hit one home run this year, but his .312 average is thirty points higher than the next NL 3B… and his 49 RBI lead the position as well. Todd Frazier of the Reds backs him up.

AL C- Salvador Perez, Kansas City. Perez is a great offensive and defensive catcher, and it’s time he got his due and got a start in the All-Star game. He’s hitting a solid .283 with 10/29. Minnesota’s Kurt Suzuki gets the call as a backup.

NL C- Evan Gattis, Atlanta. This one was a tough call, with Milwaukee’s Jonathan Lucroy and Yadier Molina of the Cardinals both deserving contenders, as are Buster Posey, Miguel Montero of Arizona, and Devin Mesaraco of Cincy… but I went with Gattis’ power numbers (16/39). I’ll put both Lucroy and Molina on the bench, though.

AL DH- Nelson Cruz, Baltimore. Cruz was one of the last free agents out there to get a contract, but he’s done the Orioles proud so far, hitting .280 with 26/68. Victor Martinez would be my backup.

NL DH- Giancarlo Stanton, Miami. Stanton is an OF… but nobody shows up to see him play the field. The guy is a monster at the plate… hitting .303 with 19/56 RBI for the resurgent Marlins. Michael Morse of the Giants gets the backup spot here.

AL OF- Mike Trout, LA. Jose Bautista, Toronto. Michael Brantley, Cleveland. Trout is hitting .311 with 19/62. Bautista is at .304 with 17/51. Brantley is hitting .312 with 12/54. I’ll go with Alex Rios of Texas, Adam Jones of Baltimore, and Yoenis Cespades of Oakland as backups.

NL OF- Andrew McCutchen, Pittsburgh. Yasiel Puig, LA. Charlie Blackmon, Colorado. McCutchen is hitting .313 with 12/49. Puig is at .314 with 11/46. Blackmon is hitting .295 with 12/46 and 15 steals. Carlos Gomez, Hunter Pence, and Ben Revere get the backup spots.

AL SP- Masahiro Tanaka, NY, Mark Buehrle, Toronto, Felix Hernandez, Seattle, Scott Kazmir, Oakland, and Dallas Keuchel, Houston. Tanaka has been damn good since hitting the Majors with a 11-3 record, 2.10 ERA and a 127/18 K/BB ratio. Buehrle is 10-5 wtih a 2.50 ERA and 67/30 K/BB. Hernandez sits at 10-2  with an ERA of 2.10 and 137/22. Kazmir is currently 9-3 with a 2.61 ERA and 91/24 K/BB. Keuchel is the surprise of this bunch, with an 8-5 record, and ERA of 2.78 and 83/26 K/BB ratio.

NL SP- Johnny Cueto, Cincinnati, Julio Teheran, Atlanta, Adam Wainwright, St. Louis, Zach Greinke, LA, Madison Bumgarner, SF. Cueto doesn’t have a very impressive record at 8-6, but his 1.99 ERA, 130 K’s and .87 WHIP do the talking for him. Teheran is 8-5 with a 2.29 ERA and a WHIP of .95.  Wainwright is 11-4 with a 1.89 ERA, 106 K’s and a .90 WHIP. Greinke is 10-4 with a 2.78 ERA, 111 K’s and a WHIP of 1.17. Bumgarner is 9-5 with a 2.90 ERA and a WHIP of 1.17.

AL Bullpen- Greg Holland, Kansas City. Koji Uehara, Boston. Fernando Rodney, Seattle. Glen Perkins, Minnesota. Wade Davis, Kansas City. Casey Fein, Minnesota. Jake McGee, Tampa Bay. Greg Holland has the second most saves in the AL at 23 saves, and has a microscopic ERA of 1.93. Uehara has an ERA even smaller at 1.40, and has 18 saves. Rodney leads the AL with 24 saves and has an ERA of 2.16. Perkins has saved 20 ballgames for the Twins. Davis has 12 holds and an ERA of 1.19, and Fein has 11 holds with an ERA of 2.17. McGee is basically here to be the Rays lone representative. He has a WHIP of .83 on the season.

NL Bullpen- Fransisco Rodriguez, Milwaukee. Huston Street, San Diego. Craig Kimbrel, Atlanta. Rafeal Soriano, Washington. Will Smith, Milwaukee. Tyler Clippard, Washington. Tony Watson, Pittsburgh. K-Rod is back in form, with 27 saves already for the Brewers to go with a 2.34 ERA. Street has saved 22/22 games and has an ERA of just 0.90. Kimbrel is his usual, dominant self with 26 saves and an ERA of 2.10. Soriano has 20 saves already with an ERA of 1.06 for the Nats. Will Smith has 15 holds with an ERA of just 1.10. Tyler Clippard has 15 holds with a slightly higher 1.23 ERA. Tony Watson leads the NL in holds with 21, has a 5-0 record, and an ERA of just 0.93.

  So there's my team, Gabbers. Who'd I snub? Who would you leave out? Let me know in the comments below. I felt like I should have had a few more Giants on the NL squad, but looking at the numbers I just couldn't make it happen! Thanks as always for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed your 4th of July festivities.

Weekly Grumble with IHM 6/28
Category: FEATURED

   Hello folks, and welcome to this week’s Grumble with IHM. Hard to believe this is my last blog of June… and July is right around the corner! This summer just seems to be flying by, doesn’t it?

   The big story this week was soccer, where the US advanced in the World Cup, and hipsters across the nation rejoiced in having another week of being able to pose as soccer fans. Here in my dark little corner of the world, I was pretty pissed, because now I have to hear about this bullshit for at least another week! The more soccer coverage I see and the more soccer talk I hear, the more I realize that this is, without a doubt, the worst sport in existence! Honestly, I’d rather watch golf for fuck’s sake! Honestly, how does anyone sit and watch an entire game/match/whatever the fuck the call it? Nine dudes kicking a ball back and forth, trying to get it kicked into a 24 foot wide by 8 foot tall goal… and only accomplishing that GOAAAAAAAAL once or twice a game? I’d rather pull my fingernails off with tweezers. I can’t wait for the US to be eliminated… last week, my hashtag of choice was #LetsGoKrauts… this week, we’ll go with #Let’sGoSprouts (the Belgians are known for the Brussels Sprout).

  What was lost in the soccer craze was the Vanderbilt Commodores winning their first ever NCAA Men’s championship… winning the College World Series over Virginia. Congrats to the smart kids of the SEC… which is sort of like being the skinniest kid at fat camp! Really though, every major conference has that school for the “smart kids”… the school that helps the entire conference bring their average test scores/GPA’s up. Vandy does it for the SEC… Duke does it for the ACC… Northwestern does it for the Big Ten… and Stanford does it for the PAC-12. Normally, aside from Duke in basketball and Stanford in football, these schools are on the bottom of the standings when it comes to the two major college sports. Nice to see the smart kids take one home finally.

  Congrats to Tim Lincecum, as well… the Freak threw his second career no-hitter, and no-hit the Padres for the second time in two years. The fact that it’s against the Padres takes a bit away from how impressive it is, but he’s now one of just four active guys in baseball with two career no-hitters.

  The Tigers, after my ranting and raving last week, have taken off this week and are currently in possession of a six game winning streak. Of course, it did come against slumping Indians and Rangers teams… the Rangers have about ten percent of their starting rotation from the beginning of the year intact, and about the same percentage of their starting lineup as well. Winning six in a row is nice and all, but until I see Verlander go out and rattle off four or five quality starts in a row, I’m not convinced that anything is fixed… especially if the Royals get hot again.

  But props to J.D. Martinez, a guy the Tigers grabbed off the scrap heap at the end of spring training, who was the AL player of the week last week. He’s been on a real tear for the past two weeks or so, and has done a solid job protecting Miggy and VMart in the lineup.

  And finally congrats to Rick Porcello, who threw his first career complete game shutout Thursday night against a depleted Rangers lineup. He’s still just 25 years old, which is hard to believe since he’s in his sixth MLB season, so he might just be starting to get it together finally! He is currently 10-4 with a 3.41 ERA on the year (his career ERA is 4.40, so it’s nearly a full run lower). Nice pickup with Verlander pitching like dog shit thus far.

  In an attempt to see much, much less soccer, I’ve been watching more NFL Network lately (because I don’t get MLB Network through my provider)… and I was watching NFL AM Friday morning, and they had some asshat named Trinidad Jame$ on… and proceeded to do an entire segment about shoes. Grown fucking men, standing around, talking about shoes. At some point in the interview, the asshat said something to the effect of “Jordans and Nike are probably one of the best things to ever added to Earff” (I believe he met earth). Personally, I have a pair of dress shoes, a pair of sneakers, and a pair of work boots… three pair. These fools actually have rooms of their fucking houses dedicated to shoes. Fucking shoes. I thought this was a woman type of thing… but apparently it doesn’t just run rampant in the world of hip hop, it’s also running rampant in the NFL.

  Then I turn over to ESPN just after that debacle, and I find a segment about the fucking fashion of the NBA Draft. What in the blue fuck is going on with the “men” in this country? Am I the only one that doesn’t have a shoe collection to rival the stereotypical TV wife? Am I the only one that just finds a fucking clean shirt in the morning and throws it on? I felt like I was watching Will and Grace, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy… but I was watching two sports networks!

  As for some actual football talk, the NFL Network is dedicating today to the “Greatest Show on Turf” St. Louis Rams. They had Torrey Holt on for an interview, and he claimed that his Rams offense is the greatest of all time. Better than the Brady-led Pats of the late 2000’s, better than the 49ers of the 80’s… the best of all-time. What say you, Gabbers? If they’re not the greatest, where do they rank? I’d have them somewhere in the top ten… but sure as hell not best of all time.

  Tiger Woods is back… and despite being right at the cut line during day two he’s still the biggest story on the PGA tour. Hell, I can’t even tell you who is in the lead, or what the hell tournament they’re playing in without looking it up. Somehow, despite not winning anything in two years plus, he’s still the tour’s biggest draw.

  Over in the NBA, trade rumors are swirling from Minnesota to LA, even back to Detroit, where the Pistons are trying to unload Joe Dumars’ final mistake, Josh Smith. As all that happens, the NBA Draft took place last night. As we all know, it’s pretty rare to get a star player past the first five or ten picks. The Cavs went with Wiggins at #1, the Bucks grabbed Parker #2, the Sixers surprised and took Joel Embiid, despite the huge injury history, at #3. The Cavs got the guy I thought was the best potential player in this draft with Wiggins… I think Parker will be a solid 15 point a night guy, but not a superstar. Embiid might end up being the next Greg Oden… and I doubt he’ll ever make much of his NBA career.

  One team that did very well for its self was Boston… they grabbed Marcus Smart at #6 and James Young out of Kentucky at #17… two solid players in the draft that should be ready to play next year. The Suns picked up some solid players in T.J. Warren and Tyler Ennis at # 14 and 18 overall, then grabbed a foreigner at #27 to develop. The Heat somehow wound up getting a solid player at #24 in Shabazz Napier… so the rich get a little richer there. The only other player in the draft I think can be a star went at #5 to the Jazz in Dante Exum… we’ll see how he adjusts to NBA level competition.

  The Pistons grabbed an injured point guard from Colorado in the second round… as they lost their first rounder while dumping the contract of Ben Gordon a few years ago. Again, Joe Dumars ineptitude costs the team in the future. They’ll be lottery bound again next year… best case scenario they unload Josh Smith’s contract on someone without losing a draft pick in the process.

  Before I call it a week, I just want to remind everybody of the story of Brian Stowe… the Giants fan who was beaten nearly to death after leaving a game against the Dodgers in LA back on Opening Day in 2011. Unfortunately, someone convinced Stowe’s family that it was a good idea to try and sue the Dodgers organization for 37 million dollars. As much as the story behind what happened sucks, you can’t blame the organization for the stupidity of three or four drunken idiot fans. This is exactly the kind of lawsuit that has taken the fun out of EVERYTHING in the world today… our legal system is an absolute joke, evidenced by the fact that this case has even made it to court without being thrown out. Guess I should go get beat up outside an Applebees so I can sue them next… assuming this bullshit actually results in a win for the Stowe family. So what do you think… should the Dodgers pony up, or should the actions of three or four dipshits be the responsibility of those three or four dipshits alone?

  That’s all I’ve got for this week folks, thanks as always for reading, and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers.


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