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Weekly Grumble with IHM 9/20
Category: FEATURED

  Given the issues and scrutiny the league is currently under, the NFL has hired yours truly, IHM, to create a new, comprehensive plan to deter any further black eyes and ugliness for the league due to player conduct. As members here at, you all get an exclusive first look at the new plan in its entirety…

   First rule… Roger Goodell will personally chaperone all player dates/ social outings. This should help ease the concerns of Mrs. Terry O’Neil, president of NOW (National Organization of Women), who wondered aloud last week what Roger Goodell was doing to protect these women. Since apparently the abuse suffered by these women is exclusively the fault of the NFL commissioner, and certainly not the idiot players who decided to lay their hands on women, I felt it best that he be personally involved in any and all contact between a female and an NFL player. Even married players, if they want a date night with the wife, had better set it up in advance with the Commish as a third wheel… he’ll be there. Should things head to the bedroom, he’ll be sitting bedside, and even be ready and willing to tag in if necessary.

   Second rule… the NFL is to attach a tracking device to each of its nearly 1,700 players and provide everyone with a free app allowing people to know, at all times, their proximity to the ever-dangerous NFL player.

  Third rule… If you see a woman or child… DON’T FUCKING HIT IT! How fucking hard is it?

  Unless, of course, that bitch spilled your coffee...

  Well, there it is! Not very complex at all, but it solves all the NFL’s problems.

  But in all seriousness, what is the fucking problem here? If you ask me, there IS NO PROBLEM! Am I saying domestic abuse is not an issue? Of course not… but if you compare the number of NFL players currently under investigation for some form of domestic violence, whether it be against a woman or a child, it is actually LOW compared to males aged 20-30 out there in the real world. You know why you generally don’t hear about any regular people that age getting into trouble for that sort of thing… because it is so commonplace, it is a non-story. Yet, just like Greg Hardy of the NFL, millions of men across the country get away with domestic abuse on a daily basis. Sure, they are caught, arrested, prosecuted, and then given the same kind of bullshit punishment Hardy received.

  When we talk about Greg Hardy, we’re talking about a six-foot-four, 278 pound man who threw a woman around like a rag doll, punched and choked her, and threatened to kill her repeatedly. Yet, he got a sixty day suspended sentence and community service. Is this really the NFL’s problem we are talking about here… or should we be focused on the real issue, the absolute fucking JOKE that is our legal system. Everybody wants to take down the fucking juggernaut that is the NFL these days… everybody wants to say they played a part in getting Roger Goodell fired… that’s great. In the meantime, what exactly are you accomplishing for the cause you claim to care so deeply about? Huh, NOW… how about the 16 female senators who stepped forward and demanded Goodell resign? What is it you are getting done here? Not a fucking thing. Nobody wants to accomplish anything here, they simply want to start a fucking hashtag, get their filthy whore name in the news, and move on to the next thing that the entire country should be infuriated about and try to get in on that gravy train.

  In the end, we’re going to see several men lose their jobs… but we’re going to see no real, actual change. Women are not going to be any safer. There will be a few more dames walking the halls of the NFL’s league offices, simply as an attempt to appease the unwashed, angry masses. They will have no real pull; they will just be window dressing. People will continue to get a slap on the wrist for domestic violence, and nobody will gain a damn thing. So to anybody who is actually enjoying this horse shit, make sure you get your fill on being a women’s rights advocate… because there will be a bright, shiny new cause for you to fight for next week. But don’t worry, just like this week, you won’t be required to actually do anything.

So Long, NCAA
Category: FEATURED


  Well folks, it’s that time of the week again… time for another grumble out of your old pal IHM. Normally on a Saturday in September, I’d be talking some college football… but today, I can’t bring myself to do it. In fact, I am so completely and totally disgusted with the NCAA right now, I don’t think I’m ever going to watch an NCAA affiliated event again.

  This week has been a busy one in the world of sports, especially with the explosion of the story involving Ray Rice beating his fiancée, which has turned into the biggest, most annoying thing going in all of sports. The problem I have is one that came out the same day as the Ray Rice video was released… and I’m sure that was no coincidence… when the NCAA announced it was going to reinstate Penn State’s bowl eligibility immediately, and as of the 2015-16 season the program would have full scholarships restored as well. Somehow, that story has received ZERO attention, as the media has jumped all over domestic violence and trying to have a fucking witch hunt over the NFL’s handling of the situation. Somehow, a grown woman choosing to be in a relationship with an abusive asshole is a much bigger story than the slap on the wrist that was given to a major college football program that covered up for and enabled a pedophilic sexual predator for nearly two fucking decades.

   Now I’m not saying that domestic violence is not an issue. It is terrible; it tears families and lives apart. But compared to the systematic cover up of decades of child rape, what upsets you more? Apparently ESPN et all have decided to stick with bashing the NFL because two or three of the two thousand fucking players in the league have some sort of domestic violence issue going on right now… despite the fact that 25% of women in America report they have been involved in a domestic violence situation at some point in their lives. In fact, during Goodell’s tenure as the commissioner, there have been fifty instances of domestic violence in the league. Of course, the woman that pointed that out, National Organization of Women’s president Terry O’Neil, neglected to mention that Goodell has been commissioner for eight years… 50 incidents in 8 years works out to about 6.5 domestic violence issues per year for the nearly 2,000 players in the NFL… or around 0.3% of the players. Yet, this stupid gash wants Goodell to resign because the NFL has a “domestic violence problem”. Sounds to me like somebody just wanted to get in on this gravy train of attention and media frenzy. Hopefully once this is all over she can go back to knowing nobody gives a good God damn about what she or her organization thinks.

  But to say that the NFL and it’s alleged “domestic violence problem” is a bigger deal than the NCAA essentially saying two years of punishment is enough for enabling decades of child rape is a bit much for me. Domestic violence is terrible, but it normally involves two consenting adults involved in a relationship. What Jerry Sandusky did to children from the 1970’s on to the year 2009 was much, much worse, and a much bigger violation of trust than any kind of domestic violence. Yet, everybody seems to be perfectly okay with the fact that the NCAA has now decided to let them off the hook.

  The biggest cry seems to be that they are punishing people who had nothing to do with it. Fuck that. Every player who was on the roster at the time that the Sandusky case broke had the chance to transfer, and some chose to do so. Some chose to stick with the team, and continue to change in the locker room Jerry Sandusky raped children in. The new recruits knew the school they chose to attend, for some reason, was under probation and wasn’t going to be bowl eligible for some time, yet they chose to go for some reason. Another question… what the hell kind of parents send their kids to a school where these sorts of things were allowed to happen?

  The crybaby fans in Happy Valley, who claim the entire thing should have never happened and they should have just been allowed to advocate child rape, can also go fuck themselves. Wear your Penn State hat... all it says to me is "I love child rape". Chant "We Are Penn State"... all it tells me is that "you are enablers". Joe Pa is still your hero? Well, everybody has their own heroes I suppose... just haven't heard of many whose special powers were looking the other way.

  In fact, if there is any kind of justice in this world, something terrible happens to this program. The team bus crashes... the plane goes down, the stadium blows up with al these idiot fans inside of it, the entire campus burns down... something. What a fucking clueless bunch of assholes. I sincerely wish nothing but the worst to anybody out there still rocking Penn State gear. Make sure you drop the kids off at "Uncle Jerry's" house on your way to get drunk and cry about being persecuted against all Saturday long in Happy Valley, you fucking dipshits.

  So today, I hope you all enjoy your games, and I don’t begrudge anybody for doing so. For me, this is the final straw… between the fact that Penn State did NOT receive the death penalty for this, and now to let them off of their punishment early, on top of the hypocrisy and ridiculousness that constantly comes out of the NCAA, I am done. I will never again watch an NCAA game again in my life. I’ll be damned if I’m going to support an organization that has such a weak stance against child rape. Have a good weekend, Gabbers.

Weekly Grumble with IHM 9/6
Category: FEATURED


  Hello folks, and welcome to this week’s grumble with IHM. Just got done going over the damage outside from the storms last night… had a big branch fall on the garage (luckily the roof is still intact), and another one fall in the driveway about three inches away from the hood of my car… crazy bunch of storms with winds up to 75 MPH… and they really did blow in fast. Luckily we still have power, and nothing important was damaged! Made for one crazy night though, for sure. But with yesterday being the hottest day of the year thus far (92 degrees, and humid as hell), and fall coming in… I’m glad to see summer go. No more spending the day sitting around in ball soup!

  I really have to say that as much as I hate winter, I really can’t wait for November 5th. It has nothing to do with the weather… I’m just already tired of the insultingly stupid political ads on the airwaves here in Michigan! It particularly bothers me the way they seem to single out women… the way they use issues like abortion (which the supreme court has already ruled on, and ZERO changes are coming to), birth control (which isn’t changing any time soon, yet the leftists seem convinced that Republicans are hell bent on making illegal), and equal pay for women… even though they always neglect to mention other factors in people’s pay… like tenure, experience, and qualifications. It’s just a damn shame to see political parties, particularly the Democratic Party, treat women as though they are incapable of making an informed decision and targeting them as though they will vote based on their feelings alone. Just stick to the issues that actually matter, not the fluff issues that ultimately don’t matter, and that do nothing for 80% of the country… like gay marriage for example. You think anybody is doing anything about that anytime soon? Hell no… the leftists need that issue to remain in play so they can continually use it as a chip against the right. Yet, when it comes to taxes, employment, government waste… the shit that the government should ACTUALLY be involved in, not a peep from their side. This is why I vote Republican or more so Independent/Third Party… they seem more apt to stick to the issues and at least make an attempt to affect change in policies that clearly aren’t working. Either way, I can’t wait til these trash political ads are off the airwaves for another two years.

  The big story of the week has been the Cincinnati Bengals giving a practice squad spot to Devon Still, a 2012 second round pick out of Penn State who has underperformed in his two years in the NFL and was edged out for the #4 DT spot on the team. The important thing about this story is the fact that Still’s daughter was diagnosed with cancer on July 2nd, and the Bengals adding him to their practice squad helps Still by providing his daughter with insurance for her treatments and keeps him in Ohio (his daughter is currently in a hospital near Philadelphia) much closer to her. The $6,800 a week practice squad check doesn’t hurt, either! The cynic in me immediately thought that the classy thing would have been to do this and not advertise it… but it is Still spreading the word about the team’s good deed, not the Bengal PR team. They were more than willing to keep this on the down low. Great to see this kind of story in a world where it seems like no matter what kind of news you’re looking at… world news, local news, sports news, there is nothing but bad news coming at you.

  Sad news in the world of baseball as Rangers manager Ron Washington resigned yesterday, citing “personal issues”. Rangers GM John Daniels has insisted that the resignation is not “drug related” or health related. He was offered a leave of absence, but declined in the best interests of the team.

  The biggest story of the week, of course, was The Fappening… the hacking of nude pictures of celebrities, many, many celebrities, off of their cell phones. Now, earlier in the year, the big issue was NSA, FBI, CIA spying on American citizens… under the guise of “national security”… but now that celebrities are involved, the FBI is ready to investigate. The sports connection to the story, of course, is the fact that Kate Upton was amongst the celebrities hacked… and evidently had many photos of herself and boyfriend Justin Verlander in varied states of undress. Justin Verlander is said to be “embarrassed” by this. My take… why be embarrassed by the fact that there is a photo of you bare assed with Kate Upton? If anything, that makes you a fucking legend! I’d be much, much more embarrassed by the fact that you’re a $25 million dollar a year pitcher with an ERA of 4.80. Be embarrassed by your performance, not by the fact that you’re frolicking around nude with freaking Kate Upton!

  As for the Fappening as a whole… maybe don’t take nude pictures of yourself if you don’t want there to be any chance of them being leaked to the public. Just a thought.

  Now that we have a full weekend of football on tap, college today and pro tomorrow (as well as a Monday night double-header), I can officially be happy that Fall is here. I’ll probably be inhabiting the couch for the majority of the weekend, especially with Michigan State traveling to Eugene, Oregon to play the Ducks tonight… that should be one hell of a ballgame. As for the Lions, I’ll have to wait for Monday night to see their season debut against the Giants. Speaking of Giants… the San Francisco Giants are in town for a three game set with the Tigers… let’s hope the Tigers can take at least one game this time around after the embarrassment that was that 2012 World Series sweep.

  Hope you all enjoy your weekend of football (and baseball… that’s still going on, too!) Thanks as always for reading, and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers.

Weekly Grumble with IHM 8/30
Category: FEATURED


  Well folks, it’s that time of week once again… time for another grumble from IHM.

  Back in 2007, the college football season opened just as it does every year; a few solid match-ups, but mainly bigger brothers going up against the weaker sisters of the world. #3 Michigan was all set for another run at a national championship… they returned star, future NFL players such as Chad Henne, Mike Hart, Mario Manningham, and future #1 pick Jake Long, as well as a host of other future NFL players on either side of the ball. Enter Appalachian State, a FCS team that had won and won often at their level… but was never expected to go into “The Big House” and have a snowball’s chance in hell of beating the Wolverines… in fact, the game was probably going to be over by halftime. Well, somebody forgot to tell the Mountaineers that, as they went on defeat the maize and blue 34-32 in an absolute stunner… the first time an FCS school had ever beaten a ranked FBS opponent.

  For me, it was an absolute thing of beauty. I have hated Michigan my entire life… and being stuck here in Wolverine country, it was a moment I will cherish forever. The sadness, anguish, and humiliation on the faces of every Walmart Wolverine fan in this area was enough to tide me over for a lifetime. Seven years later, the Wolverines have their shot at revenge, as Appalachian State returns to the Big House, now a member of the FBS from the Sun Belt conference. Sure, it is unlikely that history will repeat its self, but I can dream, right? Either way, college football is back and I couldn’t be happier!

  Aside from the games slated for this weekend, there is also all the drama coming out of USC this week. First, there was AD Pat Haden being hospitalized twice earlier in the week. Next, senior corner Josh Shaw was caught in a lie… first saying he sprained both ankles jumping out of a window to “save his drowning nephew”, then changing the story when bullshit was called. Finally, in the final act of the week, running back Anthony Brown quit the team while accusing coach Steve Sarkisian a racist. After quitting the team, he posted on Instagram “Sark treated me like a slave in his Office… Can’t play for a racist MAN!!!!! #Fighton” The post was deleted soon after it was posted, but the damage was already done.

  Sarkisian refuted the claims, and many players have come to his defense since, but the fact remains that the allegation is out there now. The question is, does this adversely affect the USC program with Sarkisian at the helm? Does it hurt his ability to recruit players in the future, or in essence, to do his job? Assuming the allegations are complete and total bullshit, what kind of accountability does Brown have as a result of any damages done to the program and to Sarkisian? People pull the race card all the time for no real reason these days… but the question is, where is the accountability? What are the consequences for damaging someone’s reputation in that manner? Right now, there are none, and that is something that needs to change.

  Shelly Sterling claims that Steve Ballmer got a “deal” in buying the Clippers at two billion dollars! Evidently there were still offers rolling in when his offer was accepted, including David Geffen and an Egyptian princess. She also adds that there is “no point” in divorcing Donald at this point… saying it is of no benefit, according to lawyers.

  The LA Clippers also decided, for some reason, to pay Doc Rivers ten million dollars per year, extending the former Celtic coach through the 2018-19 season. He also received the title of VP of basketball operations.

  The NFL continued its erratic designation of suspensions this week, as Vikings WR Jerome Simpson was suspended three games to start the year stemming from a DUI arrest. As you may recall, Simpson was arrested back in 2012 for having over two pounds of marijuana to his home in Kentucky… and somehow only got fifteen days in jail and another three game ban for it. Good thing he isn’t just a “regular person”… otherwise he’d still probably be in prison over a bust like that. But, evidently that break didn’t prevent him from doing anything else idiotic in the future… hell, he couldn’t even make it two years. Still, you have to wonder how Gordon gets a full year, yet this idiot gets away with just three games again.

  How about some congratulations to Yusmerio Petit of the San Francisco Giants, who set a Major League record by retiring 46 consecutive batters, breaking the record set by Mark Buehrle of 45 in 2009. The record was set over an eight game period. The very next hitter, Jordan Lyles, doubled to left field.

  That’s all I’ve got for today folks. Thanks, as always, for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, and enjoy your football!

Friday Sports Blog Funhouse
Category: Daily Blog 2.0

   Hello folks, and welcome to Friday... where we get to enjoy the longest period of time between work and more work (aside from the folks that work on weekends... God bless ya all!). We've got some big stories brewing this week, so let's get to it!

  Two of the biggest blow hards in the world of sports admitted guilt this week... the four letter network and the Sherriff himself! First, ESPN issued an apology for choosing to report on Michael Sam's shower habits earlier in the week. No word yet on any potential punishment for reporter Josina Anderson, who had the misfortune of reading the teleprompter during the episode of SportsCenter on which it aired. Either way, good to see ESPN taken to task for the stupid things they do, and for the irresponsible way they rush to report things that are normally better left unsaid.

  Late Thursday, the Sherriff Roger Goodell issued an apology of his own... admitting that the penalty for Ray Rice was weak, and sent a pretty shitty message about the NFL's policies towards violent acts towards women. The new rules state that any NFL employee...from players to front office personnel... will get a minimum six game ban for a first infraction, and a lifetime ban (with appeal) for a second incident. The even better part; it not only covers domestic violence but sexual assault as well. Looks like Jaemis is sunk before he even gets started!

  But the biggest win of the whole thing has to be the fact that the Sherriff finally took culpability for something. Sure, the word "we" was prominent in his statement, but we all know who runs the show at the NFL offices. But honestly, we all also know that Goodell is nothing more than a mouthpiece, albeit a high paid mouthpiece, for the owners. But to see him admit to fucking up in a public forum is a thing of beauty.

  The San Diego Padres made what I would consider a pretty idiotic decision when they announced they were going to dedicate the stadium plaza to Bud Selig, changing the name from the Palm Court Plaza at Petco Park to the Bud Selig Hall of Fame Plaza. Bad move, especially considering the numerous slights the Padres have dealt with at the hands of the commissioner. During Selig's years running the league, he essentially approved of a fire sale when the Padres were just 4 and a half games out of contention, did nothing to help the team build thier new park, had a labor stoppage on his watch during a season in which Tony Gwynn was close to batting .400 for the first time since Ted Williams, botched a team sale, never awarded an All-Star game to San Diego despite their new stadium, and of course his absence for the memorial for Tony Gwynn. Despite all of that, the Padres made the decision to pay tribute to perhaps baseball's worst modern era commissioner... and you really have to wonder what the hell they were thinking!

  The NFL wrapped up its' preseason yesterday, and the regular season kickoff is now just six days away when the Packers travel to Seattle to face the defending champs. As for college football, their regular season kicked off Wednesday with Abilene Christian being edged out by Georgia State 38-37, and 14 games last night, the biggest of which being Texas A&M traveling to South Carolina to take on the Gamecocks. The Cocks came in ranked #9, while the Aggies were ranked #21, but the final score didn't reflect that at all. The Aggies wound up blowing the Cocks out in their house, 52-28 behind an impressive performance from Kenny Hill. Hill broke Johnny Football's team record for passing yards in a single game by throwing for 511 yards, and the SEC Network broke several records once held by ESPN for the number of times mentioning Johnny Manziel in a three hour period.

  But the big question that comes out of this game is this; was Johnny Football simply the product of a system? Judging by the immediate success of a guy who never played a down of college level football taking his place, you might just end up having to say yes to that. Especially with as bad as Manziel has looked so far at the professional level (against second and third stringers no less).

  Another big question from last night's games... is this the end of the line for Boise State? Sure, they came in unranked and faced the #18 team in the country, but they failed to get into the end zone until the 4th quarter (garbage time), and lost 35-13 to Ole Miss, despite three interceptions thrown by the Rebs' Bo Wallace. So is this just an off year for the Broncos, or is their run as college football's Cinderella over?

  Well, that's all I've got for today folks... I'll be back tomorrow morning in the next slot over with my usual Saturday Grumble. Thanks for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out.

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