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The Nutball Gazette-Week 15 Picks (Part 2)
Category: NFL

 

The Nutball Gazette-Week 15 Picks (Part 2)

Reminder last week 12-4
Season 126-82
 
 
Part one winners
 
Chargers, Browns, Cowboys, Texans, and Colts
 
Chiefs-10 @ Rams-27 (Rams take a step to playoffs after several years of futility, Chiefs downward spiral continues with unfortunate illness to Matt Cassel)
 
Bills-20 @ Dolphins-13 (Bills have been a muck better team than the record indicates, Miami has been awful even in their victories)
 
Lions-10 @ Bucs-24 (Bucs keep their playoffs alive)
 
Cardinals-1/2 @ Panthers-1/4 (If this game is shown anywhere in the country it could mean the end of the NFL)
 
Saints-26 @ Ravens-20 (Saints continue their "March" to the Playoffs, while the Ravens seem to be getting old in front of our eyes)
 
Eagles-17 @ Giants-23 (Game of the week, Battle for the east, Even though Steve Smith is out, look for Giants Defense to make the big plays for the Giant victory)
 
Falcons-24 @ Seahawks-13 (Falcons all but clinch a playoff spot, while the Seahawks chances take a big blow)
 
New York Paper Airplanes aka Props aka Jets???-0 @ Steelers 17 (The jets are in total freefall, and headed to a 9-7 record and possibly not make the playoffs)
 
Broncos-10 @ Raiders-24 (Tim Tebow appears to be getting the start and the Raiders are licking their chops)
 
Sunday Night
 
Packers-10 @ Patriots-38 (The Patriots are one of the great runs in NFL history and even if Aaron Rodgers was playing at full strength it really would not matter)
 
Monday Night
 
Bears-23 @ Vikings-10 (Vikings have severe QB problems, Rumor has it Joe Kapp and Fran Tarkington will be suiting up)
Game is scheduled at the University of Minnesota at this time, if they can get the field cleaned up but the Bears may protest the game played on a field not made to NFL standards and besides the weather may be in the single digits and snow may fall,
 
 
The Nutball Gazette--"The Expert" week 15 Picks-part one
Category: NFL

 

The Nutball Gazette-Week 15 Picks (Part 1)

Sent out at 8:15 rest of the picks coming in moments
 
Week 15 is here, and this is a huge week with playoff implications on the line
 
Last week 12-4
Season--126-82
 
"The expert" is now on a 67-23 Run
 
Thursday Night
 
49rs-13 @ Chargers-27 (49rs playoff hopes are set back as Chargers "charge" to a playoff slot)
 
Sunday
 
Browns-26 @ Bengals-10 (Bengals are in free fall, Carson Palmer should throw 2 TD passes for Browns. T.O will continue to nuke the clubhouse and Marvin Lewis will be begging to get out of town)
 
Redskins-16 @ Cowboys-27 (Redskins another team headed to the "Eve of Destruction" Have to wonder if Over Rated Mike Shanahan will be one and done)
 
Texans-26 @ Titans-16 (Texans win and with lots of help can make the playoffs, Randy Moss will once again not be targeted and expect a nuclear explosion in Tennessee)
 
Jaguars-27 @ Colts-31 (Jaguars could clinch the division with a win, They have the offense to do this, But The Colts could put up more against a suspect Jag defense, Not totally buying in to the Jags yet)
 
Time is 8:15, Rest of the picks coming soon
There Really is a Santa Clause
Category: NFL
Tags: Christmas Santa Claus Spirit

 

This is Football Season so I tagged this as NFL, 
 
 
There really is a Santa Clause 
 
> > >I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit,her on the way my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. >>"Even dummies know that!"
         
> > >>My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot >easier when swallowed with one of her "world-famous" cinnamon buns I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true.
 
> > > >Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" she snorted...."Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat, and let's go."
 
> >"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second world-famous cinnamon bun.
 
> >"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars.
 
> >That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it I'll wait for you in the car."
 
> >Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's. I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but I never had I shopped for anything all by myself.
 
> >The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church. > >
 
I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker.
> >He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class.
 
> >Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a cough; he didn't have a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat!
 
> >I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.
 
> >"Is this aChristmas present for someone?" the lady behind the,counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down.
 
> >"Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby."
 
> >The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.
 
> > > >That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it. Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy.
 
> >Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Santa's helpers.
 
> > > >Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going."
 
> >>I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma.
> >>Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.
 
>>>He opened the present and smiled as his mother looked on crying with joy!
 
> > >Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes.
 
>>That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team. I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95. 
 
>>May you always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS that care..
 
Helpful Hints For Christmas Cooking
Category: Humor
Tags: Cooking

 

Just in case you're planning to do a little cooking...     

 

Description: cid:1.2159895053@web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com

To keep potatoes from budding, 
place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.



 

Description: cid:2.2159895054@web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com
Buy Smash mashed potato mix.
Keeps in the cupboard for up to a year. 



 

Description: cid:1.2159895053@web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com


When a cake recipe calls for flouring
the baking tin, use a bit of dry cake 
mix instead and there won't be any 
white mess on the outside of the cake. 
  
 

Description: cid:3.2159895054@web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com
Go to the bakery! 
Hell, they'll even decorate it for you! 



 

 



 

Description: cid:1.2159895053@web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com


Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting 
in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Description: cid:4.2159895054@web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com
Celery? 
Never heard of it! 



 

 



 

Description: cid:1.2159895053@web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com


Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and 
rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. 



 

Description: cid:5.2159895054@web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, 
chill and drink! All your pains go away! 



 

Description: cid:1.2159895053@web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com


Don't throw out all that leftover wine. 
Freeze into ice cubes for future use 
in casseroles and sauces. 

Description: cid:5.2159895054@web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com
Leftover wine???????  
 
HELLO!!!!!!


Description: cid:6.2159895054@web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com
Lastly, if you don't forward this to one of your friends within the next 5 minutes, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall offff.

 
 
The Nutball Gazette--"The Expert" week 14 Picks
Category: NFL

 

The Nutball Gazette-Week 14 Picks

Here we go, another week and it is getting down to crunch time.
How about those New York Paper Airplanes Monday night,
 
Last week 13-3
Season-114-78
After going into the 1st week of November 59-58 "The Expert" is on a 55-19 run,
 
Thursday Night.
 
Colts-23 @ Tinys-10 (Peyton Manning has suddenly become Brett Favre at his worst, The Colts are in absolute panic mode and they need this game, if they lose they face possible elimination on Dec 16th, If Colts lose and Jags win vs Oakland then the Jags play the Colts on Dec 16th. But the good news is the Colts are playing the Tennessee "Tinys", who has quit and one has to wonder why Jeff Fisher still has a job)
 
Sunday
 
Browns-27 @ Bills-13 (Browns are much improved and are playing hard, IMHO Eric Mangini has earned another season, The Bills may have run out of gas but they do play hard)
 
Bengals-10 @ Steelers-23 (Bengals played hard last week but played some of the stupidest ball I ever saw in the end, Carson Palmer continues to regress and this may become a very ugly)
 
Packers-31 @ Lions-16 (Packers have just too much)
 
Giants-26 @ Vikings-10 (Something tells me that Favre will try to play but the Giants defense will make this a long day for whoever plays QB for them, This game sets up a huge matchup the following week vs Eagles)
 
Bucs-26 @ Redskins-13 (Redskins is another team in disarray, Bucs play well against mediocre teams, Bucs keep playoff hopes alive)
 
Falcons-34 @ Panthers-13 (Another matchup of one team on a roll and another team who seems to have quit)
 
Raiders-13 @ Jaguars-24 (The West Coast team playing a 1 pm Eastern time curse continues and Jags will continue to press and maybe move very close to clinching the Division)
 
Seahawks-23 @ 49rs-17 (Seahawks move to the division lead.)
 
Rams 16 @ Saints-27 (Saints keep up the heat on the Falcons and move closer to Playoff spot, Rams suffer big loss, but Playoff spot in the west should come down to the last week of the season with Rams vs S-Hawks matchup)
 
Broncos-16 @ Cardinals-13 (The 1st Bowl Game of the year "The Toilet Bowl")
 
Chiefs-10 @ Chargers-27 (Cassel being out cost Chiefs have no chance and this may end up costing the Chiefs a playoff slot)
 
Eagles-27 @ Cowboys-17 (Eagles and Michael Vick should be able to contain Cowboys and set up huge game at the Giants next week) (Sunday Night Game)
 
Dolphins-23 @ Paper Airplanes-16 (Jets were exposed by the patriots and also when you look at the other Jet wins they easily could have lost 4 of those games and could be 5 and 7, They may have lost their confidence and even though the Dolphins have been awful alot this year The SOJ (Same Old jets) lose games like this)
 
Patriots-23 @ Bears-17 (Tough game but the Patriots have shown they can eat anyone who is good)
 
 
Monday Night
 
Ravens-23 @ Texans-17 (Ravens need and will win to put the pressure on the Steelers.. If Jags and Colts lose this game becomes big for the Texans and they then may pull the upset)
 
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