I don’t mean to brag,

I don’t mean to boast,

But I’m intercontinental,

When I eat French toast.

Beastie Boys, The Move

What does all of this mean?  Probably not much to many of you, but it means $100 to me.  Earlier this year when the leafs were in first place in the Northeast Division, Flyer Fanatic was confident that the leafs would make the playoffs.  He was so confident in that fact that he decided a $100 bet would backup his assertion that the leafs were a playoff team.  I was adamant that they were not, stating that the maple leafs defense was not strong enough and they did not have enough secondary scoring, or heart for that matter, to make a difference in the post season.  As of Tuesday, the leafs were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.  As a result, I am now $100 richer.  Well, that all depends on if Flyer Fanatic is a man of his word and doesn’t back out on his wager.

So, Flyer Fanatic, get in touch with me and I will provide you with my paypal address so that we can complete this pleasant transaction.  I think this will clarify my viewpoint from the start of the season.

So now, we will see the lack of mettle of this current batch of leafs on display.  I don’t think the leafs will go out of their way to win another game this season.  Not to say that they are going to intentionally tank the season for a better draft pick; I would hope pro athletes would have some pride.  It is kind of ironic that all of a sudden, James Reimer and Jonas Gustavsson are out with injuries.  As a result, the leafs are turning to Jussi Rynnas to finish the season for them.  Yup…that is how deep they are in the nets Flyer Fanatic.  If they are planning on tanking the season, I hope they get a draft pick like Alexandre Daigle that shits the bed.  It’ll look good on them.  The leafs have 2 games left against Buffalo, 1 against Tampa Bay, and they finish up the season with the last place team in the Eastern Conference, the Montreal Canadiens.  Folks, I wouldn’t turn into that game if I was you.  I would much rather slam my balls in a dresser drawer for three periods than watch that shit.

With the trade deadline passed, teams are struggling to find a suitable replacement for injured starters.  The New York Islanders recently felt this pinch after having Nabakov go down.  As a result, the Islanders are going to ride Al Montoya into the sunset this season with a recently signed John Grahame as a backup.  Bruins, Lightning, Hurricanes, River Rats, Omsk and Monsters fans should remember him.  The Islanders must have been scraping the bottom of the barrel to sign the goalie coach for the USHL Sioux City Musketeers.  The NHL lockout did one thing for hockey fans; allowed the game to pass by players like Robert Esche and John Grahame.  Don’t get me wrong, Grahame did a good job backing up Dafoe to start his career, but then an injury and difficulty returning to his previous form marked the beginning of the end for his time in Boston.  If anyone is interested in watching the Islanders play out the string, it should interest you that you can watch Matt Martin build on his record breaking 357+ hit season.  Martin is a solid, in your face type of player.  You could say I’m a Matt Martin fan, since I enjoy the way he plays the game.

There have been a few teams that have clinched playoff spots so far, and as I am working on this on Saturday afternoon, the Rangers, Penguins, Bruins and Flyers have clinched in the East, and the Blues, Canucks, Predators and Red Wings have clinched in the West.  In the East, there is an interesting race for the 8^th and final playoff spot between the Sabres and the Capitals.  Buffalo has been going on a tear lately, and are 7-1-2 in their last 10 games.  They are tied with Washington at 86 points, and both teams have 4 games left.  However, tonight Washington will be getting a boost from the return of Nicklas Backstrom after he missed 40 games after taking a high elbow from Rene Bourque. 

In the West, San Jose is on the outside looking in.  They have gotten progressively worse the past few seasons, and are currently 1 point out of the final playoff spot.  With 2 games left against division rivals Dallas, and 2 games left against division rival Kings, these games are a must win for the Sharks.  That being said, that top 3 positions in that division are ridiculously close.  The division leaders are the Kings with 90 points, the Stars and Coyotes have 89, and the Sharks have 88.  This division finish is going to be great.  The knock against the Sharks in seasons past has been their lack of ability to get up for a big game.  Well, they have 4 games left to prove to their fans that they have that now.  With no significant injuries, the Sharks should have the tools to make their push.  But do they have the will?  We will have to watch and see.

Jordan Carver yoga pose of the week:

Fight of the week:

Erik Gudbranson vs Ryan White; always nice to see a 3^rd overall draft pick take on a regular occupant of the sin bin and do okay.

Thanks for stopping by and have a great week.

Hotchnuts

Theo Fleury and Todd Holt are a little disconcerted and discouraged with the length of the sentence handed out to Graham James.  This has been a long time in the works, but there is a little bit of closure for his victims.  The Crown (Canadian Prosecutors) was asking for 6 years, and James’ attorney was asking for community service.  James’ victims can take solace in the fact that James is going to one of the roughest penitentiaries in Canada; Stony Mountain.

Stony Mountain is a federal penitentiary filled with the cream of the crop of criminals.  It is populated with native gangs (Manitoba Warriors, Zig Zag Warriors and Native Syndicate) and multiple members of the Hells Angels.  James’ victims can be assured that James’ time in Stony Mountain will NOT be enjoyable.  Fuck, even criminals have standards.  Child molesters and rapists are at the bottom of the barrel, and that is where James reputation will put him.  Chances are slim that James will make it out of that place unscathed, even if he is put in protective custody.  I hope that he is put in a cell with a big fuck off gang member, loaded up with genital warts and Hep C.  Is it fair of me to wish that on another human being?  Let me put it this way; being the father of 2 boys that play hockey, if that ever happened to either of my sons, that person would just plain disappear.  That’s it, that’s all.  James should consider himself lucky if he only gets his ass fucked rimless while he is in there.  It looks good on him.

Last week, the main conversation was in regards to hockey fights changing momentum and winning games.  It is something that is hard to pin down, but on Friday night, there may have been a prime example.  Winnipeg was losing 3-0 to the Washington Capitals, when the Jets scored to close the goal deficit to 2.  On the following faceoff, Jimmy Slater got into a fight with Brooks Laich.  From that point on, Winnipeg went on to outshoot Washington 13-2 for the remainder of the game, and scored 3 more unanswered goals on the way to winning in overtime.  Momentum truly is difficult to pinpoint, but in this case, the fight paired with the goal helped.

Things are getting way to fucking PC for my liking.  During the NCAA tournament, the University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux are not allowed to use the name “Fighting Sioux.”  The NCAA found the logo and the team name offensive, and as a result, The Fighting Sioux are no longer.  All the PC crowd needed was one team to make a concession, and all of a sudden, you have a precedent.  Where will this stop?  Will a group of non violent Irish take offense to the Fighting Irish and demand they drop the name because not all Irish fight?  Will the Central Michigan Chippewas have to change their fight song from “The Fighting Chippewas” to “The Peaceloving Chippewas?”  Will Florida State have to retire Chief Osceola and his horse Renegade?  Fuck people…enough.  Here is the tricky part…it is state law in North Dakota that the UND team be called the Fighting Sioux.  So, while the UND hockey team is in the NCAA tournament, they are not to wear their Fighting Sioux jerseys, or be identified as the Fighting Sioux in the game programs.  But once they return to North Dakota, motherfuckers, they are the Fighting Sioux.  Fuck this PC crowd.  Give an inch, next thing you know I’m getting a ticket for shitting with my bathroom door open.  I don’t give a fuck if I’m at the mall or not, I don’t like being closed in while I shit.

With spring just around the corner, some of us may want to tone our bodies for a summer of drunken debauchery.  I’ve put on a couple 20 pounds of winter fat, and with running season coming up, I’ve got to slim up.  Plus, I want to make sure I’m in good shape when I get hit with a case of beaver fever.  No, I’m not talking about giardia.  Going into this, trust me, I know that yoga isn’t for every guy out there.  However, with some inspiration, maybe we all can appreciate yoga for what it is; a thing of beauty.  I am going to try something new, and every week for the next few weeks, I will show you a yoga pose with the help of the lovely Jordan Carver.

Ah yes…anyone out there feel like doing yoga yet?  Me neither.

This just adds fire to the argument that the Canucks are one of the dirtiest and most weasel-like teams out there right now.  If Sedin doesn’t drive his shoulder into Duncan Keith’s head, does Keith go looking for him later?  Hard to say, but for someone that has never been suspended in his career, the chances of Keith doing so are unlikely.  As a result, Keith went looking for Sedin and made a bad play.  Now Keith is gone for 5 games, and no one is sure how long Sedin will be out for.  These two teams really do not like each other, and I am hoping they meet in the playoffs this year.  It would be good hockey, and I like Chicago in that one.

Fight of the week:

Cam Janssen vs Brandon Prust, Eric Boulton vs Michael Rupp, and Ryan Carter vs Stu Bickel.

Thanks for stopping by and have a great week.

Hotchnuts

I can tell you this much for sure, it is putting some energy into Trevor Gillies.  A fight in hockey is like a game of chess.  If the other team is running around, smashing bodies and creating some player/puck separation, it is up to the other team to try to slow things down.  There are a couple of avenues in which to do this.  You can either start smashing bodies yourself, have one of your energy players get involved in a fight, or in the event that the other team doesn’t have an energy player dressed for that game, send out the big gun and have him take a shift.  Any momentum by the other team will be quashed quickly.

It is also a hell of a way to put some energy in the fans, which in turn puts energy back into the players.  Now, does it have to be one of your energy players or enforcers that decide to knuckle up?  Not in the least; in fact, having a player that is not known for being involved in an obscene amount of fisticuffs taking on the big guy is a way to inspire your teammates and basically take a few shots for the team.  Case in point: Max Talbot vs Dan Carcillo.  The Flyers were leading 3-0 when Talbot decided it was time to take on Carcillo.

Well, the commentators were onto something there.  The Penguins came back and won the game 5-3 and eliminated the Flyers from the post season.  The Penguins then went on to win the Stanley Cup.  Having one of your leaders stand up and take one for the team is the ultimate piece of team building and leadership.  In a game between the Washington Capitals and the New York Rangers, Donald Brashear was running around, basically being Donald.  Why was he doing this?  At the time, the Rangers didn’t have an answer for Donald on the bench that night.  With Colton Orr out of the Rangers lineup, the biggest gun in the game for the Rangers on that night was Ryan Hollweg.  However, someone stood up to Brashear and sent the bully packing.

And yes, that was a typical Donald move at the end by needlessly punching Ward on his way off the ice.  And just in case you were wondering, the Rangers went on to win the game 4-1.

More frequently however, the act of a fight in hockey tends to build team unity more than actually changing the momentum of the game.  There are cases where the hockey fight has shifted the momentum, and there are also accounts whereas fighting did nothing to affect the final score.  Will we continue to see fighting in hockey?  I sure as hell hope so.  If only there was ways to track man games lost due to injury prior to the instigator rule and compare it to post-instigator rule.  Fighting is a part of hockey, and like it or not, I want it to remain a part of hockey.

I think this is funny.  Just plain, fucking funny.  Kind of reminds me of the early 90’s when every hockey player was wearing those thick gold chains during the game.  There was a shoving match along the boards, Chelios reached over, snapped off someone’s chain, and threw it over the glass. 

And for those leaf fans out there, wondering where Phil Kessel has been lately, apparently he is a big Jets fan.

Hockey fight of the week.

Steve MacIntyre vs the Springfield Falcons

Thanks for stopping by.  Have a great week.

Hotchnuts

Does Frank Mir have a doppelganger?  Could be, but I’m pretty sure this guy has pulled off the doppelganger banger.  UD it if you don’t know what it is.  There were a couple of items last week that I was hoping to get to, but either due to concussions or an overindulgence of the sweet, sweet alcohol, things were overlooked.  This week is the first time that I am going to try to use the schedule widget, so let’s see if it works.  Hotchnuts will be out on the town tonight and in Winnipeg next week for work, so I’ll get all of the bugs figured out.

There are certain elements that happen in nearly every hockey game, much to the defending coaches chagrin.  We all have seen the 3 on 1, usually at least once a game.  The 4 on 1 is much rarer, but the most elusive of the hockey plays is the 5 on 1.  Only seen in the beer leagues regularly, it made an appearance in the Jets and Panthers game.

Fuck…you gotta feel for Erik Gudbranson on that one.  As for Jose Theodore, who gives a fuck.  Go take some more propecia.  You would have thought that with Florida already trailing 3-0, they would have shored up and tightened their defensive game.

We have all seen shootout attempts that just don’t go anywhere.  Either with the player mishandling the puck, shooting wide, or just firing it right at the goalies vagina.  The rare creature in this scenario is the blown tire.  We have seen it in the past, and every one of them has been highly entertaining.

First of all Patrick Eaves…

Dennis Wideman…

And more recently, Devin Setoguchi.

I’m not sure what the worst part of that was; Carey Price skating by and scooping up the puck, or laying on the ice in a road arena, listening to the game winning horn sound for the other team.  I can honestly say that I have no idea what that would feel like.  Some of you may be thinking it’s because I always cash in when I have the chance, but it is the opposite.  I’m just always on the bench for shootouts.  What would be more surprising than Hotchnuts on a shootout?  This is…

The OHL has taken tremendous strides in an attempt to remove fighting from their game.  This season, the OHL has a new rule stating that if goalies fight, they receive an automatic game misconduct and an additional 2 minute minor.  Me…I think that rule fucking stinks.  Nothing brings together a line brawl as much as the two goalies shucking their buckets and skating towards center ice.  Now, David Branch (commissioner of the OHL) and Hockey Canada, are taking strides to remove fighting from their game altogether.  There have been many players and coaches that have spoken out recently about this, and one of the coaches is former NHL’er Bob Boughner, who is the head coach of the Windsor Spitfires.  Hockey Canada and David Branch are trying to convince a coach that has amassed 1382 PIM’s in 630 games that fighting isn’t needed in the game?  Sorry, but to me, they are only going to set their players up for a steep learning curve when and if they enter the NHL.  One of the more cogent points was made by Windsor Spitfire forward Ty Bilcke, who has 216 PIM’s in 58 games this season.  The 6’2”, 217 lb 17 year old said this; “You’ll have more dirty hits because there are no consequences for it.”  My thoughts exactly.    Here is Bilcke in action…

And yes, his teammates call him "Sgt."  

With the annual GM meeting on the horizon, there are a few things that the NHL is probably going to look at.  First of all, the discussion about the red line will probably be part of the agenda.  The red line was removed to help speed up the game, but with the rising number of diagnosed concussions, they will probably discuss this and contemplate possibly putting the red line back into play.  Will they?  Who really knows anything anymore.  One item that should be discussed is possibly legislating against hard capped shoulder and elbow pads.  I mentioned earlier about the OHL placing new rules…the OHL has banned all hard capped shoulder and elbow pads.  Was it only 20 years ago that these were the types of shoulder pads that were worn?

Now what are the players wearing? 

Yeah…I think that there is some room for improvement in that area.  Scrap the instigator rule and reduce the size and hardness of the shoulder and elbow pads.

This is what I like about the Bruins.  Bruins are a tough team and are a pain in the ass to play against.  Armstrong learned that lesson the hard way.  Even the Boston players that aren’t known as fighters are capable of sticking up for themselves.

Now for my weekly bashing of the leafs…Burke has built this team on “truculence” as he likes to call it.  First of all, you have a guy getting bitch slapped by a non-fighter, and the leafs also lost Lupul after being hit by Krejci.  That’s right…Lupul was taken out by a guy who has 48 hits in 63 games.  That is less than 1 hit per game. 

Fight of the week!

Cam Janssen vs John Scott

Janssen has huge balls.  Figuratively, not literally…not that I would know or care to know anyways.

Have a great week.

Hotchnuts

Fuck...I want to be that kind of dad when my kids get older and approach me with their problems.  Well, maybe not to that extent.  I'm not going to get fucking sentimental on everyone, so relax.

Mark Giordano and Mr. Bean.  Holy fuck...can you imagine going through life looking like a talentless nobody?  Rowan Atkinson has managed okay, and even managed to father a moderately attractive daughter as well.  I'll put her pic at the end and I guarantee that we will all be amazed that someone so ugly can father something so different.  But anyways...what has brought me to discussing Mark Giordano with you?  Giordano displayed some of the type of hustle that I can appreciate.  Losing a game by a goal, and their net is empty.  Anaheim forward Hagman fired a shot the length of the ice, only to have Giordano hustle his fucking ass off.  How fucking close was it?  Watch the replay...

You have to appreciate that level of compete that some players have.  Sure, they still lost the game, but at least they only lost by one if that is any consolation.

Well, the circus has arrived in Toronto.  I know that I am very hard on Burke, claiming that he is vastly overrated as a GM.  I think my claims on that are valid, and his past history has proven it true.  Lets look at his affinity to go back to the well that was Anaheim.  How many deals has he pulled with Anaheim?  Let me think...he picked up their goalie coach, Francois Allaire and signed their former coach Randy Carlyle.  He has traded for Brad May, Mike Brown, JS Giguere, Joffrey Lupul and Francois Beauchemin, and has sent Jason Blake, Vesa Toskala, Joey MacDonald, gave back Beauchemin and threw a few draft picks their way.  But now, we have two of the biggest egos in hockey getting ready to square off.

This one is going to be good.  In this one, their will be no clear cut winner.  Neither will admit defeat.  Look at it this way; Burke still thinks the leafs season is still salvageable.  Wow.  Toronto has taken too many games off in the past couple of weeks, and they have been performing exactly as I predicted they would.  Now, they are stuck trying to play catch up and trying to prevent a hot Buffalo team from leapfrogging them in the standings.  Why am I mentioning the leafs?  Easy answer...

I wouldn't even be surprised if Toronto finished lower than the Islanders.  The Islanders are playing some solid hockey right now, and they could make a move up the standings a couple of places.  The playoffs are a stretch, but they have the ability to finish on a strong note.  That's right FlyerFanatic.  A couple of weeks left, and we are going to have to see how this one shakes out.  Sure, they have a new coach in place and they won their first game with him behind the bench, but let's be realistic.  First of all, it was a game against the last place team in the Eastern Conference.  Secondly, Carlyle hasn't even had the chance to run a practice with them.  He only met the team yesterday.  Leaf fans are ready to anoint Carlyle as the saviour mentioned in the Dead Sea Scrolls.  The Toronto media is claiming that Carlyle is a defensive coach, and Toronto is going to become a much better team defensively.  That I find highly amusing, since Burke has been very vocal about building from the nets out.  Who brought in Komisarek?  Burke.  Who signed Phaneuf?  Burke.  Komisarek earns in the area of $4.4 million to sit in the press box as a healthy scratch.  I know I may be beating a dead horse, but the leafs are simply porous defensively.  A new head coach won't help.  Maybe a whole new coaching staff might help.

One of the oldest hockey arenas in North America is finally closing.  The Windsor Spitfires moved out of the Windsor Arena a couple of years ago, but the arena was still being used by the University of Windsor Lancers.  After the Windsor Lancers beat Thunder Bay's Lakehead University Thunderwolves last weekend in the playoffs, they were defeated by the Western Mustangs on Friday night.  So now, an arena that was built in 1925, will be transformed into an indoor urban market within the next 7 months.  Hey, it wouldn't be the first time an arena was remodelled into a marketplace.

Yup.  That is a Loblaws Grocery Store inside of Maple Leaf Gardens.  At least some of the older buildings aren't just being levelled and they are trying to make something to keep it in place.

Yeah...I would have expected Beans daughter to be somewhat hideous.  This is a pleasant surprise.

Fight of the week:

Shawn Thornton vs Eric Boulton

Thanks for stopping by.  Have a great week.

Hotchnuts