There are some people that suit moustaches.  Lanny suits one, but that was his trademark, and he also played in the '70's.  However, some people do not and I am one of those people.  Movember is for a good cause, and this is coming from someone that has to endure those special inspections once a year from their doctors.

Notice a common theme....moustaches are associated with a finger in the ass.  But really, Movember is in the rear view mirror, so shave already.  I've had a moustache before.  I made this dumb shit rule for a weekend that if you wanted to fish in my boat, you had to have a moustache.  Fuck, I know...dumb.  Nowadays, the only people that wear moustaches on a regular basis (more commonly known as year-rounders), are pedophiles, truck drivers that love lot lizards, and members of the alternative lifestyle community.  November is done...shave that fucking ridiculous looking shit off of your lip.

Except you...you just keep being you.

So...Ryan Miller came out a week or so ago and stated that he didn't think he was "concussed" by the hit from Lucic.  I figured as much.  As someone that is not a doctor, I feel comfortable stating that Miller did not lose conciousness, remained thoroughly active after the hit, did not appear "out of sorts", so attaching the concussion label to it was preposterous.  In my unprofessional opinion. So, last night Tootoo made contact with Miller, and for once Buffalo wasn't a bunch of pussies about it.  Listen, if someone even "bumps" your goalie in local scrub leagues, that person has to pay. You don't wait a fucking week and a half to take care of business.  You fucking deal with it on the spot.  Even though Buffalo didn't have anyone that could stand up to Lucic, or even Ference for that matter, you still put the effort in.  If you step in for a teammate and get your ass kicked on National TV, someone is buying you a lot of beers.  Buffalo responded quickly this time.  No week and a half of embarassment in the National media after this one.

Okay...how come no one is making the obvious "prepare to be Sherminated" jokes with this guy?  His fucking comeback against Boston was so overhyped in Canada, that it was making me sick.  I was hoping that the Bruins put the hurt into the leafs last night, and they did.  There is so much talk about how good Reim-job is for the leafs and how he is a legit number one goalie in the league.  I however, disagree wholeheartedly with that statement.  Lets look at his numbers...

7 GS, 4-1-1, 18 GA, 2.80 GAA, and a .900 sv %.  Overall, not bad numbers.  Number 1 goalie numbers?  The toronto media is so fucking deluded it is humourous.  Want to know who else has good numbers?  This guy.

And his numbers?

8 gs, 4-3-1, 17 GA, 2.09 GAA, and a .920 sv%.  Yup...slightly better than a so-called number 1 goalie.  And Rask is a capable backup.  Reimer is a bum.  What happens when the leafs play a competent and competitive team?  They get buried.  I am fully aware that I am on here complaining about the amount of media coverage that the loafs (not a typo) garner in Canada is sickening.  So why am I doing it?  The answer my friends is quite simple.  I am doing it for those on this site that I happen to have a bet with in regards to the loafs (once again, not a typo) making the playoffs.  I am using this platform to point out their obvious shortcomings, which there are many of.  For example, the loafs only have 8 players on the correct side of the infamous +/- stat.  And only 2 of them are defensemen.  Yup...a porous defense to say the least.  The whole point of winning hockey games is scoring more goals than your opponents.  For example, a team like Pittsburgh has a goal differential of +21, Boston has a goal differential of +34, and even Florida has a goal differential of +12.  Toronto?  -2... and as of last night, they are now in 6th place in the Eastern Conference.  Barely in front of a Buffalo team with Miller returning and a Washington team with a new hard ass coach in place.  Next week, I have a feeling the loafs will have fallen into 7th, maybe even 8th place, and with games against New York Rangers, New Jersey Devils and the aforementioned Washington Capitals, the loafs will be lucky to win 1 of those games.

There are only a few things that I love more than hating on the loafs.  And as I was telling Sully this morning, getting divorced did wonders for my sex life.

And now for your punch in the face of the week...

Hordichuk vs Boll

Time for the return of the whale tail of the week.

And for the Beezer, I would be remiss if I did not showcase the Great One's daughter.  Unfortunately, she has deleted her Twitter account, but here are some of her pics that she was posting.  Enjoy.

Thanks for stopping by.

Hotchnuts

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends from a hoser north of the border.  I hope everyone enjoyed some time with their family and had their fill of the turkey.

What in the fuck is going on?  Maxi Pad made such a big deal about the lack of respect in the game after his injury last season, so why is it that players returning from injury piss and moan about the lack of respect and the tactics and plays that need to be removed from the game, only to turn around and do it themselves?  If you spend your fucking time recovering from injury bitching and moaning about how it needs to be removed from the game, don't do it yourself.   Its not like Maxi Pad has been an angel his entire career.

And don't even get me started on Crosby.  Sure he had a good game back...but is it a comeback game for the ages?  Nope.  Enough of the media licking on Crosby's nutsack.  I've had it.  Sure, it was good for the game for him to return, and to the uneducated hockey fan he had a good game.  But to the fan that follows the game regularly?  He tallied 4 points against Anders Nillson, the Islanders 4th string goalie.  A kid that had never played in the NHL before that night.  So get off his nutsack.  What stands out in Crosby's return to me?  This...

Oklay....a general rule of thumb.  Terrell Owens knows this...if you are on the road, you just don't celebrate on the home teams center ice logo.  That would be akin to the visiting team standing at center ice saluting the home fans with their sticks raised.  It just doesn't happen.  If you ask me, the WBS baby Pens let the Hershey Bears off the hook with this one.  Discipline for these situations needs to be handled fast and effectively. 

Overseas, there has been lots of the hockey violence happening.  In SM Liiga, they happened to set a league record with 465 PIM's in a game.  Honestly, I have never heard or thought of the Finnish League being that aggressive.  That being said, it kind of makes sense.  Just think of all of the great Finnish players to grace us with their presence in the NHL...Esa Tikkanen, Jarko Ruutu...just jokes...

But anyways, 439 of the PIM's came in the last few minutes of the game.  Watch a little bit in, and watch for the line brawl off of the faceoff.  Honestly, I feel for that one guy that didn't get a dance partner.  Watch him drop his arms is dismay, as if to say "ah for fucks sakes..."  Snooze you lose I guess.

If I am ever going to follow a team in the KHL, you can bet your ass it will be the Vityaz Chekhov.  With a lineup featuring players such as Jeremy Yablonski, Kip Brennan, Nick Tarnasky and Jon Mirasty on the team, you know there is going to be some good entertainment for the fan of that style of hockey.  Their style of play has been labeled "characteristically aggressive" and I can understand why.  In this clip, Yablonski gets onto the ice about a minute in, and ends up sucker punching someone.  Then, in typical Yablonski style, he starts yapping with the goaltender.

Then, in this next clip, business picks up so to speak.  Dalton, the goalie for Vityaz skates the length of the ice to challenge Traktor goalie Garnett to a fight.  While they book appointments on each others dance cards, Mamin and Sazonov have a tilt at the blue line.

Not wanting to be left out on the action, Nick Tarnasky wants to get him a little too.  After skating around the ice and getting no response from any of the Traktor players, he just jumps someone. 

And now your hockey fight of the week.  This one is Bernier vs Charron from the LNAH.  Some hockey players are all about disrespecting their opponents.  Just take this weeks examples as evidence.  In this fight, they both agree to fight, and it is probably the friendliest fight I have ever seen.  Kinda refreshing in light of what has happened overseas this week.

and now...lets finish it off with a good old fashioned punch in the face contest.  And surprise...it's from the LNAH.

Thanks for stopping by and have a great week.

Hotchnuts

Yes, Flyer Fanatic, you have yourself a bet, just to assuage any confusion on the issue.  I'm looking forward to watching the leafs finish out of the playoff picture this year.  However, one thing is for sure, the leafs became a better team defensively once they lost Komisarek for 6-8 weeks with a broken arm.  As a result, Franson is finally getting a chance to be a regular contributor.  That being said, the majority of leaf fans were ecstatic about the pick up of Franson.  Burke picks up someone who had so much potential in Nashville, and Wilson curbs his development by only dressing him in 5 games this year.  That is the problem with the leafs...if you have a team that is 27th in the league for the penalty kill, 27th in the league for Goals Allowed per game and 20th in the league with an average of 30.9 shots allowed per game, the leafs are all smoke and mirrors when it comes to their defensive play.  I have said this before, the leaf defense is porous at best.  Does anyone actually think that a goalie can put up winning numbers playing behind that d-core?  Every goalie and every team that has won the Cup, has been playing behind solid d-cores. 

The OHL continues to take no shit when it pertains to headshots.  Dean Pawlaczyk was suspended 15 games for a headshot against Austin Levi, and Alex O'Neil was suspended 10 games for his hit to the head of Frank Schumacher.  Last week, I told you about the slash by Ryan Rupert at the end of the game that resulted in a brawl.  Rupert was suspended for 5 games, and I was a little bit astonished about this.  I thought it was going to be much higher, but after doing some research, it seems about right.  Nick Cousins was the player that was slashed by Rupert, and David Branch must've taken that into account.  Apparently, Cousins is the Cooke/Avery style of player for the OHL, and Branch had taken into account what Cousins had said to Rupert and also noted that instead of skating to his goalie to celebrate, Cousins skated up to Rupert and taunted him prior to bumping him.  Cousins had displayed this type of behaviour previously this season, and I guess he got what he deserved.  At first glance, the slash is very excessive.  However, once you get all the background information, I probably would have done the same thing to anyone that bumps into me to taunt a win.  But that is just me.

Now, for an Arnold inspired musical break...Austrian Death Machine.  With songs such as "I need your clothes, your boots, your motorcycle", "who is your dad and what does he do?", ..."Get To The Choppa!""that's not a tumor," "if it bleeds we can kill it," "come with me if you want to live," and "screw you Benny", they truly are humorous.

Why this seemingly random picture of Paul Bissonette?  BizNasty is one of the more colorful personalities in the NHL, in my opinion.  He is extremely active in his community, and is very generous with the homeless.  Kind of fights the stereotype that nonhockey fans believe falls upon the NHL's enforcers.  After 111 NHL games, BizNasty's mom finally attended one of her sons games.  She has been to his games in the ECHL, AHL and OHL, but Saturdays game against Buffalo was the first NHL game she has ever attended.  What makes it important?  It is the first time that his mother has been healthy enough to travel to one of his games, and Bissonette scored a goal.

I know that there are many here that also follow the NFL, so that is why this next little bit is interesting.  On November 13th, Gronkowski of the Patriots was a little too emphatic in the eyes of the NFL, and they fined him $7500 because they felt the spike was a little excessive.  How does this tie in with hockey?  Easy.  The farm team for the San Jose Sharks, the Worcester Sharks, has stated that they will pay the fine for Gronkowski if he spikes a puck during a ceremonial face off between the Worcester Sharks and the Providence Bruins on February 24.  Will it happen?  Who knows.   One thing is for sure, it is an interesting approach for publicity.  Normally, we see antics and promotions like this in leagues like the ECHL.

Earlier this year, Ilya Bryzgalov made some comments about the city of Winnipeg that offended and upset some people.  He stated that Winnipeg is cold (accurate), has no parks (inaccurate) and there is no entertainment except for hockey (inaccurate).  As someone by the name of Troy Seavers has assured me, Winnipeg has an avid nightlife and the women respond positively if you send an order of chili cheese fries to their table.  Since then, Ilya has apologized and is trying to make amends.  The boy in this picture was simply holding a sign that said "Boo Bryzgalov."  Ilya skated over and gave the boy one of his sticks.  If Ilya would like to go to Winnipeg and experience some entertainment, I'm pretty sure I can get Troy to give him some phone numbers for some ladies that would show him a good time.  Troy may even provide some nontraditional angles to work with the female locals in Winnipeg that have a very high success rate.

And now, your fight of the week.

Brian "McCracken" McGratton vs Jared Boll

Thanks for stopping by.  Have a great week.

Hotch

Last night there was a small incident in the Boston/Buffalo game.  Miller left his net to play the puck, and Lucic was chasing it down for a breakaway.  Now, there are a couple of things that I found wrong with this whole situation.  First of all, when a goalie leaves his net, he should expect not to be as protected by the rules.  If one was to watch the replay, it isn't obvious to me that Lucic's goal was to hammer Miller.  Keep in mind, I'm a Bruins fan, and if you disagree, tell me why.  Looch has his head down skating hard and he looks up to see Miller and he braces himself.   Here is where the chicken shit part comes in.  If you watch Miller after he falls, he comes around with a nasty swing on his stick.  Luckily, it doesn't make contact with anyone.  Then, post game, Miller comes crying to the media with this to say;

"I'm not going to go into that. I just stuck around because I just wanted to say what a piece of shit I think Lucic is.  Fifty pounds on me and he runs me like that? It's unbelievable. Everyone in this city sees him as a big, tough, solid player. I respected him for how hard he played. That was gutless. Gutless piece of shit."

First of all, lets address the weight issue.  If you think you are too small and are going to complain about the physical contact in the NHL, try another sport like knitting.  Secondly, the next group of pussies are the Buffalo Sabres.  Someone does that with your goalie, accidental or not, and how they are allowed to skate around the rest of the game without any offers of retribution is pathetic.  Even in the scrum that immediately followed, not one Sabre dropped their gloves.  However, here is the incident and tell me how wrong I am if you disagree. 

In summation, all I have to say is this; Am I ever glad I had the foresight to pick up Jhonas Enroth for the Gab's hockey pool on Friday.  Speaking of the Gab's hockey pool, how is your team faring this week Felber?  Geez....that's too bad.  Did you really think it would be an easy week?  I guess you must've, since you spent more time running your mouth than actually paying attention to how shit your team is.  Seriously though Felber, I'm not putting a spanking on you, but it is nice to see a 4-0 team lose a week after putting so much energy into the trash talk.  This is great.  I'm glad the smack talk finally picked up.  Playful ribbing is good for everyone.

Now, for the next issue.  I am going to field a question to everyone here at the Gab.  Last week, a bet was proposed to me; $100 when the leafs make the playoffs.  FlyersFanatic is adamant that the leafs are going into the post season this year, and I don't see it.  However, do I accept the bet or not?  If you aren't sure about what exactly went down, just look at last weeks entry.  First of all, his challenge was administered via bold oversize text.  No big deal with that, I just attributed that to being enthusiastic about his opinion.  However, he did make a comment referring to me being Canadian and implied that it was a strike against me and I should be more familiar with viewing men from the back.  Anyway, that is what I obtained from his general bit of information.  Am I correct?  I'm not sure, so I am asking for clarification.  So please, should I take this gentlemens bet?  Or do I decline it on the premise of which it was presented to me?

Next topic...

This does not fit with the context of this entry, which is dealing with cowards and the like.  This past Friday was Veterans Day for my friends from the USA, and it was Rememberance Day up here in Canada.  Being a member of the Canadian Forces for 15 years, and having served overseas with NATO, I can never thank our veterans enough.  The hard work that was put forward with the potential for the ultimate sacrifice gives us the platforms that we enjoy in our daily lives.  Do not take what you have for granted.  What we enjoy came with a cost that many people paid dearly for.  Never forget them, and always thank your veterans.

So, how do you move on from that?  Therein lies the challenge.  I was over at a friends house last night, and he told me that his fiance and him have an agreement.  He was allowed to create a list of 5 celebrities that she gave him the green light to.  This all came up because Emma Stone was hosting SNL and she was on his list.  I asked him if Jenna Von Oy is on his list, to which he replied "That Six chick from Blossom?".  Yup...that one.  She has really grown up.

As Joey Lawrence would say..."WHOA!!!"

The OHL has long been one of the strictest leagues in North America, if not the world.  David Branch does not tolerate very much when it comes to what warrants a suspension.  Over the past couple of seasons, we have seen players be suspended for the remainder of their junior careers and basically kicked out of the OHL.  20 game suspensions are not that uncommon in the OHL.  But however, the incidents that have received massive suspensions have been worthy.

Ben Liambas received a suspension for the remainder of his final season and the playoffs after this hit on Ben Fanelli.

Earlier this season, Tom Kuhnhackl was suspended for 20 games for this hit.

And now, there was an incident between London and Sault Ste Marie.  As a result of this, Ryan Rupert received an indefinite suspension as well as 7 other players receiving 2 game suspensions.  If you watch the clip to the end, you will see how this all started.

David Branch has always been firm and fair, and there has always been consistency as to what would be tolerated and what wouldn't.  Shanahan has his work to do, as he tries to clean up the mess that Campbell left him. 

Now, a great Canadian band called The Sheepdogs.  If you are a fan of the older Allman Brothers/Skynrd/Neil Young sound, you will like these guys.

And now, it is time for your dose of entertainment from the LNAH.  Here are the top 5 LNAH fights for the month of October.

Thanks for stopping by.  Have a great week.

Hotchnuts

Funny picture, no relation to the entry to follow.  

Hear that sound?  Its like music to my ears.  The leafs are falling, in more ways than one.  I was amazed when I witnessed the strong start that the leafs enjoyed this season.  But then again, that can be attributed to a long homestand against sub .500 teams.  Kessel is the textbook overachiever; why should this year be any different?  Even Kessel's scoring has dropped off, with only 1 goal in his last 5 games.  Scrivens was supposed to be the next best thing in leaf land, but with his only start this season coming in a victory against Columbus, Boston really tested his mettle.  I said it at the beginning of the season, and I stand by it.  The leafs will NOT make the playoffs this season; they simply do not have enough secondary scoring and their backend has too many question marks.  Schenn is playing as inconsistent as can be, as is Komisarek.  Bringing in Connolly may have been a good move 8 seasons ago, but now, I would be surprised if he plays more than 40 games this year and gets more than 30 points.  Last nights game against the Bruins really showed how inconsistent the leafs d-core truly is.  It would appear that a game against the leafs would be the magic that Boston needed to string together their first back to back wins this season.  And by the way, if you google search maple leaf blower, this is what you get.

A couple of weeks ago, there was quite a little fight in the brewing between Subban and Marchand.  I gave Marchand a lot of credit for this one.  Even though he gave up a few inches and 20+ pounds, there was no way that this fight wasn't going to happen.  I give credit to Marchand for not backing down.

Over the years, many people have said many things about Matthew Barnaby, and none of the terms used were very flattering.  One term I would use to describe Barnaby would be "balls of steel."  Now this one, this is a definite size mismatch.

So, another week, another suspension.  Sherrif Shanny is cleaning up the league, but it is going to take some more time.  Kaleta has been suspended for 4 games for headbutting an opponent.  However, this isn't the first time Kaleta has pulled this kind of stunt.  Is he the first person to throw the headbutt?  Nope.  Will he be the last?  Nope.  Kind of makes me glad Shanahan wasn't in charge of discipline for the Colonial League when Angelstad was pulling shit like this...

Then again, Mel only played 266 games here in Thunder Bay, but managed to rack up 1704 PIMs.  Now that, is impressive.  I have always had an affinity and a passion for the hockey fight, as I view it as a way to keep players honest.  What happens when you get a league where fighting receives an automatic suspension?  You see a lot more stick work and dirty play.  Trust me...I've played in tournaments where fighting is frowned upon and you would be surprised how bad it can get.  Get rid of the instigator rule, and watch the Cookes of the league suddenly change their style of play, instead of just saying they've changed.  Make them change with the possibility of physical pain.  What happened after Matt Cooke did this?

Evander Kane went and did this.

Will Matt Cooke try that shit with Kane again?  Probably not.  Allow everyone a shot at him, and I guarantee he won't play chickenshit hockey anymore.

So, I have been struggling lately, in more ways than one.  Writing about hockey, it all used to come so naturally for me, and I found it to be a very enjoyable process.  The words used to flow so easily and it wasn't a challenge.  The situation in my home life has been turned upside down over the past year and a half.  Am I doing everyone here at the Gab a disservice when I feel that there are many more talented and passionate bloggers.  I briefly talked about this with Sully this morning, and this entry took about 2 hours to finish.  Am I losing it?  I'm thinking so.  My work has been slipping, and it is only a matter of time before the bossmen figure it out.

Yes...it has returned.  Whale Tail of the Week. 

That last one is for the fans of temperate vegetables that promote regularity.

Thanks for stopping by.

Hotchnuts