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Tuesday's Inspiration and semi-frustration, 7/22/14
Category: FEATURED

I want to thank Beeze for allowing me to add another blog on Monday.  I have so much stirring in my mind that I want to get off my chest before I leave town.   Like Jerry Reed sings in “Smokey and the Bandit”, we’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there, so let’s get this party started:

Before I start though, I do ask for one thing, your prayers.  My nephew and his girlfriend were expecting their third child and she was 23 weeks pregnant.  Suddenly Sunday Faith arrived in the world.  Faith weighed one pound seven ounces and she is still fighting for life and was rushed to the specialty unit here in Sacramento.  Faith, you keep fighting girl, you hear me?  Your obnoxious Uncle B.O.B. wants to meet you come Christmas time, and if we’re truly lucky at Thanksgiving!   That will be my Christmas present.  I don’t need nothing else. 

Props?  To ESPiN???  ESPN announced that they have entered into partnership to cover the 2015 Special Olympics in LA, and I think that’s absolutely FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC.  I hope to be able to catch it.

Props?  To ESPiN #2???  21 years ago I was moved by Jimmy V’s speech.  I mean, who wasn’t???  Classic lines, lots of laughs, and good advice.  In case you forgot:

And Wednesday, I became moved yet again.  This time it was Stuart Scott who moved me.  I knew he was fighting, but I didn’t know it was that bad.  Stuart, PLEASE KEEP FIGHTING, MOST OF ALL WIN!  Here is the video link if you're interested in Scott's speech:  http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=11225895  .  I watch Jimmy V, Robin Roberts, Stuart Scott, & my father all those years ago and my Mother in Law.  I marvel at their strength, courage, grace, positivity, resilience, & determination. You want to talk about role models? 

Baseball.  Mike and Mike, ESPiN, and Bud Selig bristled at the mere mention of a comment made by some union mouthpiece about Baseball being a “regional” sport.  Take a look at this and you tell me: 

Can we cut the “we’re not regional” crap?  It's about money that just happens to be in the NYC, LA, St. Louis, and Boston areas.  Yet In 2014 out of potentially 30 teams in the league, 16 can’t get a sniff of playing on Sunday Night, including arguably one of the best and most exciting teams right now, the Oakland A’s?  A two time defending Division Champ with SIX all-stars and the two-time defending HR Derby champ, and this team can’t play once on Sunday Night, yet you can show the Yankees and Dead (err, Red) Sox FIVE times?  What about SunTzu’s Washington Nationals?  B-dub’s Braves only once?  Kyle’s Blue Jays?  AFD’s new home Pittsburgh?  Who gets to watch King Felix pitch outside of MLB Network (which a lot of folks don’t get)?

OK, OK, enough ranting...on to real Baseball, sorta.  Did you catch 105 year old Great-Granny's act in San Diego down at PETCO Sunday throwing out the first ball?  How freaking cool was that?  MLBMemes did, and thanks to them for this:

Yet another thing to be truly inspired by!!!

But then we get to this:

Seattle She-hawks.  She-hawk LB Bobby Wagner said the Denver Donkeys “…looked scared out there.  Nobody wanted to catch the ball.  Nobody wanted to come up the middle.”  WELL NO SHIT!!!  Everybody knew Denver was a finesse team.  Could the table have been more perfectly set for ya? 

When Seattle didn’t get away with excessive holding and contact beyond five yards they were a very average defense and Dick Sherman nowhere near lives up to his hype when refs call it straight.  Speaking of Dick, I don’t normally advocate this, but can somebody step up and sacrifice 15 yards on the very first play he grabs them by going all Deacon Jones upside his helmet?  Anybody ever notice that when somebody gets in Dick’s face he backs down like a little bitch?  Hey Dick, you’re yapping is getting tired.  And Dick, shut up, Russell Wilson and Skittles man bailed out your team far more than you did – douche. 

Good Lord and I thought Deion Sanders was bad…Seattle wins because they get in folks domes by talking junk.  Teams are beaten before they ever get onto the field - and that’s more of an indictment on coaching league wide then a testament to Seattle’s “greatness.”      

Golf (British Open).  Rory McIlroy went wire to wire and took the Claret Jug.  Can we now have a discussion about Tiger and Phil passing the torch?  Wake up PGA, you’ve got great golf out there.

         

Golf – Celebrity Pro Am at Lake Tahoe.  Middle B.O.B. has got guts and a toughness to her.  She had her four wisdom teeth yanked Friday, but that didn’t stop her and her boyfriend from making the trek up to Tahoe just hours later to see the celebrity pro-am.  She got to see Steve Young, Jerry Rice, Larry the Cable Guy and Ray Romano. 

Remember I referred to being inspired?  Chad Pfiefer is a wounded warrior who lost his leg above the knee in Iraq, and look what this dude is doing:  he was in the final grouping of the final round w/Mark Rypien and Jeremy Roenick.  I absolutely love stuff like this.  It 100% motivates me.  If I can’t get pumped up to ramp up the workouts, I have no soul.

The Gym.  Speaking of being inspired, I walk into my gym and marvel at the old folks at my gym who come in religiously and bust their asses on the treadmills then move on to the weights.  Hell, I’ve watched some 80-plus year old going flat out balls to the wall.  Same with 76 year old Mama B.O.B. down in South Florida.  There ain’t no way I can half-ass it out there, I’d be too embarrassed.

Tour De France.   For whatever reason, I find this bike race compelling.  These guys covering this much ground in all different types of weather, terrain, inclines, declines, speeds, and types of surface of road is incredible.  Mix in the unprecedented amount of wipe outs and how many favorites got knocked out early because of it, and it’s actually pretty compelling.

 

Jerry’s Midwest Tour.  Apparently Chicago, Minneapolis, Dallas, Padre Island, OKC, and KC in 2014 weren’t enough, this dude spent his final free weekend in the Midwest with his buddies taking a roadie across state to Mount Rushmore to go camping and gambling.  For those who haven’t been there, it’s so much more than just the mountain, the Crazy Horse monument is making progress, Casinos have been put in at Deadwood, camping is everywhere, Sturgis is very close, and it’s a pretty cool place to hang, oh and in Summer, the weather is fantastic. 

Uncle B.O.B.’s World Tour Stop #4.  It begins Saturday at 7AM.  And while sports will figure prominently, so does BBQ, so there has been a step up in the workouts prior to leaving.  I hope that I can keep my phone properly charged throughout and get lots of pics – that is certainly the intent.

Douchebag of the Week.  Controversy has erupted up in Lake Tahoe when the Celebrity/Athlete Pro Am invited LPGA Hall of Famer Annika Sorenstam to participate in the tourney this year.  WTF is this?  Sterling Sharpe was whining about this and there are rumors others are too.  Shut up you sissies, the Tahoe tournament is nothing more than a fun weekend for charity, don't be taking this seriously.  Now step up and accept this award that you so richly deserve...

 

Bad Penny showed up again - 7/21/14
Category: FEATURED
Tags: Politics Gaza Aldon Smith NFL All Star Game MLB San Francisco Giants LA Angels

Yep, bad penny time.  I’ve got a pile of stuff I need to get through and with my trip looming I want to clear my stack of irrelevant stuff I torture you all with on a weekly basis.  Sucks for you, so here are some off the wall thoughts:

Politics and Diplomacy.  Beeze put up a very thought-provoking blog on his blogspot site, and I encourage everybody to read it here.  But I just want to add this:  Arabs and Jews have been going at it for over two millennium and probably longer – the (bleep) isn’t going to stop no matter how much we wish it so.  Both sides are guilty of going too far, and we as Americans will NEVER get the whole story, so taking either side of the issue is relatively pointless.

Hell, I’m almost convinced that if you went up and did an unscientific survey with ten people (five jews, five arabs) and asked them what is this fighting all about or what is the root cause, the answer would be that neither side knows why their fighting, they just are.  Sad and pathetic. 

My take for what its worth is this:  Israel is no longer going to listen to Barack Obama tell them what to do, Israel believes that they are in the most dire situation imaginable, and that they are going to get minimal help from the United States, if any at all.  They believe they can't wait for two and a half years for a new administration to show them support and are gonna do what they need to ensure their survival.  Buckle up folks because I get the feeling that between now and January 20, 2017 we're gonna see more, not less of stuff like this.

SF 49ers – Aldon Smith.  Every time I say I can’t be surprised, I get surprised again.  Felony Weapons charges (possession of illegal assault rifles), DUI, and this clown gets his charges dropped to misdemeanors, 11 days with a work crew, 235 hours of community service, and a $4000 fine.  Oh, did I mention that the party that got out of hand where he was stabbed and which ALLEGEDLY involved “gangstas”?

Oh, but the county in question (Santa Clara) said that Smith didn’t receive special treatment.  Nah, the fact that the new stadium where the 49ers will be playing is in your county had nothing to do with it.  Yeah, right.  I guarantee you if it was anybody else who wasn’t a pro football player, their asses would have been in the hole long ago, probably at Pelican Bay, California’s version of “Supermax”.

Memo to Santa Clara County:  You should be ashamed of yourselves.  When this idiot does something ignorant again (and he will), any blood spilled will be on your hands.  Holy Shit Santa Clara County, Jack McCoy wouldn’t have allowed this type of crap on his watch.  Are you serious?  You have got to be effing kidding me!   This waste of humanity gets away with claiming he had a bomb during a run-in down in LAX, and now he gets away with weapons and DUI charges?  This dude is gonna think he’s bulletproof.  What's next Aldon?

Memo to the San Francisco 49ers, you are my team – BUT THIS IS A FUCKING DISGRACE!!!  I hope the Sheriff goes medieval on his ass and suspends him for a full year if not two.  Hell Sheriff, ban this walking crime wave from the freaking league for all I care.  Hell, I’ll give you a hero of the week certificate!!!   Playing in the NFL is a privilege, not a right and criminals like this (and that’s what he is) do not deserve to be in the league.

Oh yeah Ray Rice, that goes for you too.  Beating the crap out of your old lady…YOU COWARD!!!

Speaking of Law and Order:  Cops have got to be seething right about now.  Shit like what is going on in Chicago, and now “gangstas” ALLEGEDLY very publicly threatening the lives of cops in New Jersey?  Gang-bangers in Stockton using hostages as human shields during a bank-robbery-gone-bad running gun battle with "Johnny Law", one hostage dies, two others severly hurt and a Ford Expedition with 72 bullet holes?  You think shit isn’t about to get real?  Criminals have taken that one step too far and they’re about to get snapped back into reality because at some point, cops are gonna get nasty and people are gonna start handling shit on their own.

ASG Thoughts.  One of the things that I enjoyed seeing was the ASG in a different, off-the-beaten-path place.  Minnesota did well in my opinion.  Sold out, packed house, with great and knowledgeable sports fans.  Weather didn’t help on HR Derby day, but otherwise not a bad showing by those in “the Great White North.”             

San Francisco Giants.  If I were to sit here and say who could the Giants get?  David Price?  Dan Uggla?  Chase Utley? 

Holy Crap San Francisco, what happened?  A talking head here made the observation that Angel Pagan, he of the very bad back, has proven that for the last two years he is the team MVP.  That may be the case, but how can this team not function?

You know, earlier in the season the Giants were getting all kinds of press because they were getting so many hits and runs scored with two outs in an inning.  So really, why are we surprised that when that stat went away, they went to crap?

Los Angeles Angels.  Our friend Doug should be very happy, the Angels acquired closer Huston Street from the Padres.  To me that’s a big move for them.

Changing of the Guard?  I mentioned this a few months back, but it hasn’t gone unnoticed here in the bunker that the power in many if not all pro sports leagues has shifted to the West.  Seattle/SF/Denver in the NFL, LA in the NHL, San Antonio in the NBA, and even in MLB with Oakland, both LA teams, SF, and Seattle rising up.

In Golf, it would appear that Tiger and Phil are becoming a bit more of a relic than competitive, and while Roger Federer and Serena Williams are still strong presences, youth is starting to be served in Tennis.

Tuesday's Tantrum, 7/15/14
Category: FEATURED

Welcome to the tantrums, where my wife came home safe after almost a week at those fires, literally just in time for her 48th birthday, so we hit the new Brazilian Steakhouse!  I can’t tell you all enough, if you haven’t gone to one of these and you have some extra cash, by all means go.  It is well worth the price in my opinion.  Anywho, I’ve got a lot I want to share this week and precious little space to fit it all in, soooooo…

Douche Bag of the Week.  Going to COSTCO to get shopping done isn’t a bad experience, there’s always the free food, but what I want to talk about is the ongoing issue of censorship, and last Tuesday, I found out that they are taking Dinesh D’Souza’s book “America” from their shelves because ALLEGEDLY, COSTCO is a major Obama supporter. If this is true, this should send chills throughout everyone everywhere.  What folks, you don’t think that when the Republi-tards get back in power that their supporters won’t remove pro-democrat stuff from their shelves?  This is getting Orwellian and I'm seriously beginning to question how much more regular joe six-packs are gonna take.

For that COSTCO, you get the award.  Enjoy your award…

Well, I guess after it got out and outrage grew, COSTCO reversed course and put the book back on its shelves.  No boycotts here, just me saying they’re douche bags.  I’ll still continue to shop there because after all, they have good deals and as consumers, we all need that.             

All-Star Weekend.  The Family B.O.B. 2014 Baseball Adventure continues with the surprise that my son Jerry was invited by a friend to attend the Home Run Derby at Target Field last night, and here are some pics…

     

 

The first pic was one I found on the net as a rainbow was going through.  The other two are from Jerry on top of the Budweiser suites.  As it turns out, Jerry has a friend from high school who works for Budwesier in some big wig way, and he is a guest in their area of the stadium.  Free food, free alcohol, and free room to stay in.  Thank you Tanner, and we’ll see you again in a few weeks.

Candlestick Park – Final Farewell.  If you’ll bear with me, I am going to be as Keith Olbermann put it, “bathed in nostalgia” for this part of my blog.  It’s a bit of a diversion for me, but I hope you’ll read on.  Thanks to my daughters boyfriend, Family B.O.B. had the great pleasure to attend the final athletic event ever at Candlestick Park:

I came, I saw, I conquered the weather.  As we know Mark Twain is alleged to have said “The coldest winter I ever saw was the summer I spent in San Francisco.”  Well I’m here to tell you that while that may be a tad bit excessive, I was warmer at an NFL game on December 30th than I was last Saturday Night, July 12th.  As expected, the wind was blowing hard, the fog came in after the game hiding the Super Moon, and everybody was wearing sweaters, hoodies, and jerseys and jackets of both San Francisco 49ers and Miami Dolphins.  Vendors were selling Hot Chocolate.   But that in no way dampened the enthusiasm of the fans that came.

Candlestick Park hosted its final football game:  a charity flag football game (to benefit SFPD and SFFD charities) between a team of Joe Montana’s 49er legends versus a team of Dan Marino’s all-stars.  60 retired NFL players, many hall of famers were on hand to play.  Montana, Young, Rice, Craig, Rathman, Lott, Charles Haley, John Taylor, Dwight Clark, and it really was a nice trip down memory lane.  Meanwhile on the other side were Dan Marino, Drew Bledsoe, Dave Krieg, Mark Jackson, Ed McCaffrey, James Lofton, Anthony Munoz, Tony Casillas, Tim Brown, & others.   These guys might be our age, but some of them still have some magic left, there were some cuts and jukes that made me think they’ve still got it. 

The game was two running clock 40 minute halves, and an 80 yard field for all the old farts.  They had to cross 20 yards in four downs to continue drives.  To the delight of the nearly 30,000 who showed up, Joe Montana took snaps and hit Jerry Rice repeatedly, as did Steve Young after him.  If I recall correctly, Rice has two TD's and Steve Young scrambled for another.

In the second half Tim Brown scored a touchdown for the NFL All-Stars and he lifted his jersey to show Raider t-shirt underneath and the predictable outrage (all in fun this time) occurred. 

Marino's All-Stars came back and took a lead, but with 6:00 left to go, Joe Montana came back in and drove his team down the field one last time.  There was a play where Joe Montana took the snap and hit Steve Young on the left side with a Screen Pass.  Young scrambled, then tossed it back to Montana who scrambled a bit, then found Jeff Garcia down the field for a 15 yard game.  The crowd went nuts!!!

With seconds left and the 49ers at the two yard line down 40-39, there was some weird commotion on the sidelines and nobody could see what was going on.  The ball was snapped, Montana rolled right, drifting, drifting, drifting, throwing the ball into the back of the end zone and it was caught by EDDIE DEBARTOLO, JR., the owner of those great 49er teams who was wearing a 49er jersey with the number 1 on it!!!  Yeah, it was scripted to look like “the catch”, and you know what?  Not one person of the 40,000 gave a damn.  The place absolutely erupted!  The 49er legends “won” the game 45-40.

Montana took the mike and said thanks to the fans for the years of support, made some vague references to not being too sad about leaving the ole park, and made some wisecracks about the biggest expense to the game was the ice needed for the old bodies – and the beer in the locker room.  Kinda douchy, but that’s expected of him.  Overall, it was a thoroughly enjoyable experience seeing the 49er legends one final time in “action.” 

After the game while exiting the stadium, I got to thinking about all the history of the place I was about to walk out of for the final time.  As silly as this sounds, I was kind of sad, but then I thought about all the great memories this place hosted.  I could sit here and waste keystrokes and bore you with print, so really the best I can do is put up video highlights I found on YouTube.  It was a great video, and I hope you enjoy watching when Football was pretty damn special, at least to me: 

 

I also remembered the great moments as a Baseball park as well despite the fact that between 1960 and 1999, the Giants only won two National League pennants (1962 and 1989), but Lordy did they have some name players:  Mays, McCovey, Marichal, Cepeda, Will Clark, and characters like Gaylord Perry and enigmas like Dave Kingman.  Again some cool videos on YouTube.  The first one was about the early years with some 60’s music and some pics of the Beatles performing there:

The second baseball video comes from MLB and it includes mostly 80’s stuff, including the Grateful Dead doing the National Anthem:

The Beatles performed at the Stick in 1966, and as fate would have it, it was the final live event that the Beatles ever performed as a group.  Speaking of fate, the final event for the old park?  Yeah, Paul McCartney in concert in a few weeks from now, 48 years later. 

Traffic sucked, parking was worse, weather was always iffy, seats and aisles and walkways were cramped, prices were outrageous, bathrooms were too small even for guys, and yet we always came to enjoy some damn good football and baseball.  “The Stick” has a date with the wrecking ball, so the physical structure will be gone forever, and while most everybody is celebrating new digs and glad to be gone, the history of the Giants and 49ers in this 54 year old stadium will always live on and NEVER fade away, and that should be celebrated by all NORCAL sports fans – it was a dump, but it was our dump!!!  Farewell Candlestick, and thanks for the great memories.  In honor of the old park, this was what was played after the game and speeches:

How appropriate.

UNTIL NEXT TIME, GABBERS (SORRY MAURY)!!!

Saturdays Surprise - 7/12/14
Category: Daily Blog 2.0

Surprise!  Like that bad penny, I just keep showing up.

Hey look, it's Saturday afternoon, but I'm just gonna drop a few thoughts on ya:

NBA:  If I'm Adam Silver, NBA Commish or Mickey Aronson, owner of the Miami Heat, I'm pissed at the embarrassment known as my fans.  Booing the product he spent large coin for and got to four NBA finals?  Are you kidding me?  Look, we all know that most of those "fans" were bandwagons and transplants from other places (mostly New York) and that the folks of South Florida stood no chance of getting in to see a game.  Listen, Miami is a beautiful place with a great vibe and fantastic things to do, not to mention phenomenal sporting venues (wait until that Football stadium is redone), but the problem is that they adopted an LA philosophy, the people are plastic, and that sucks.  

I know it's old fashioned to look at things this way, but has the fan experience in the NBA just kind of gone the way of the do-do bird?  It seems to me that especially in the NBA, "the beautiful people" have kind of taken over the representation at games, and to me that sucks.

MLB.  As I warned many of you on Facebook, there will be Gab representation at the MLB All-Star Home Run Derby as Jerry unexpectedly got tickets to the event, so he'll be driving up tomorrow and spending the day in Minny.  Happy for him, you don't get this chance often, so take advantage.  I should have some pics to share for you all on Tuesday.  

NFL.  Sounds as if this decades version of the Turk made his way into many NFL franchises this week with folks getting suspended four games.  Dion Jordan, the #3 overall pick last season from the Miami Dolphins got caught up and a few others.  

But while that is going on, the NFL is strangely silent on punishment for owner Jim Irsay of the Colts.  There is one particular reporter who has an absolute beef w/the NFL on this and you know what, he's right!  Why isn't Irsay being dealt with?

There is a rumor (unsubstantiated at this point) that the Raiders have entered into some sort of agreement to have the Oakland Coliseum torn down in 2015 and commence building a new stadium on the same plot of land.  Funny part there, was it was news to the A's, who just signed a ten year lease to continue to play in that very same Coliseum.  Somebody is lying here...

The Houston Texans aren't trading Andre Johnson.  Keep an eye on this one, especially if the Texans start out poorly.

Richard Sherman vs. Michael Crabtree just doesn't stop, and now LB Ahmad Brooks joined in saying "see you on the field Dick."  Memo to both these a-holes:  We get it you two don't like each other.  Save it for the field and not the off-season.  Sherman has scoreboard, and the 49ers just need to shut their yaps and focus on being better than the She-hawks.

 

Tuesday's Tantrum, 7/8/14
Category: FEATURED

DISCLAIMER:  There will be extra cursing in this one because of rampant stupidity by a certain NFL Rookie.  If you don’t like cursing, don’t read my take on “Johnny Football”.  You’ve been warned!!!

     

Good Morning and welcome to the tantrums, where I hope everybody enjoyed their hopefully long 4th of July weekend.  Unfortunately here, Mrs. B.O.B. got called to two fires and has been gone since Thursday morning at 3AM.  The fires have been near the Napa Valley area, though not quite there.  This is the bad part of Summer, but this is where her team had to rough it:

Baseball.  Don’t look now Gabbers, but the Seattle Mariners are 8 games above .500, it’s just before the All-Star Break, and they hold the final Wild Card spot in the AL.  If they could just win at home…

Oakland A’s.  What last weeks series in Detroit between the A’s and the Tigers proved was that the A’s  needed something more, and boy did Billy Beane pull something off getting another starter and addressing that flaming gas can known as the Oakland Bullpen.  I love the trade with the Cubs to get Samardzija and Hammel for some prospects and Dan Straily.  This move SHOULD solidify Oaklands hold on the AL West and maybe open their 4.5 game lead over the Angels.

Now the A’s have Gray, Kazmir, Hammel, Chavez, and Millone as the starters and a quality closer.  Good Lord if Jim Johnson can get his groove back, I’m not seeing anybody who can touch the A’s so long as they have their bats. 

NBA Free Agency.  What a bunch of crap this is.  How is it that two superstars can hold up the decisions of all the teams in the NBA and all the players waiting for their turn to make a buck?  Look Carmelo and LBJ, you two fucking divas, stop bullshitting, you all know where you wanna go, just make it official and let the others get theirs.

Johnny Manziel.  Our favorite primate Johnny Monkey is pissed about his monogram being humiliated like it is right now.  You know it’s bad when he wants to come out of comfortable retirement in his favorite hammock on the beach being fed veggies by his bikini-clad harem of six foot tall Amazonian women and travel to Cleveland to beat the shit out of this snot-nosed punk and show him how a real “JM” rolls. 

First off, him yapping to the scribes about being the starter?  There’s a fine line between confidence and ego/arrogance young buck and you stepped way over it and into a burning bag of dog shit! 

Reports are his twitter posts and pics of his exploits are pissing off his teammates – not because of what he’s doing, but because of the media attention it brings them when the media asks them what they think.  Hey vets, if it bothers you that much, deal with it in Training Camp old school – just don’t go all Incognito on the little bitch, and yes my friends, that’s what he is and if you don’t like it, I don’t care

Browns ownership is trying to get this immature jackass to tone it down and not be so “in the spotlight”.  His response?  He goes out and makes it a point to take pictures with…wait for it…Justin Bieber?  Hey Johnny, you got the world by the balls and you wanna roll with the Biebs?  Of all people?  What, you want street cred?  Don’t you know that’s lame by anybody’s standards?  The street is laughing at you, the good people of Cleveland are laughing at you, smart chicks above the age of 14 want nothing to do with you, Texas is embarrassed by you. YOU’RE TRYING TOO HARD TO “BE COOL”.  Here’s a bit of knowledge for ya:  YOU’RE NOT COOL!  YOU’RE AN ASS – JOHNNY ASS CLOWN!

BTW Johnny, nice touch getting your pic taken rolling a dollar bill in a bathroom.  Nobody would ever speculate about that.  Oh, and since I’m also the YouGab Health Inspector, I call party foul on the taking the drink to the bathroom move.  That’s disgusting.

Johnny, you ignorant douche!  Hey Johnny Moose Twit, let this “grown up” who spent 22 years in the Navy watching much crazier and much cooler shit than you even thought about trying to pull give you some valuable life advice that your yes men and your parents are too cowardly to give you:  “What, does your dumb ass really think you are the first and only one to pound back copious amounts of grog, hang out at casinos, meet and hang w/famous people, and hit every skank (err, model) and/or slump-buster out there?  Got news for ya son, everybody did it to some degree back in the day, we just never shared it with the world.  That’s because we’re smart and you’re stupid!  Hey Johnny Dickweed, you ain’t fucking Broadway Joe, you’re not in New York City, and it ain’t the 1960’s.  PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!!!”

Oh, and while I’m dispensing advice:  Don’t throw your Beverly Hills and Las Vega$ adventures in folks faces – ESPECIALLY IN BLUE COLLAR CLEVELAND.   And while you’re at it you little ass-clown, rather than hanging w/a Vanilla Ice wannabe, try visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to see what REAL MUSIC is…If you don’t know where it is, try asking a Clevelander, IF you can bring your nose down out of the air long enough to converse with one.  DICK!

Johnny Bitch Boy should take that fucking silver spoon out his mouth and meet these good people of Cleveland because they are the ones who will be rooting for him, and they will be the ones to throw “the Biebs” in his face the minute he starts effing up on the field.  The folks of Cleveland will have your back far longer than those fake toads in Hollyweird and Lost Wages will.  I can’t wait til “Factory of Sadness” guy cuts loose with a six pack of verbal whoop ass the very moment this cocky lil waste of spooge effs up, YouTube will be on FIRE!!! 

The 49ers are pissing me right the hell off, so my fandom might be on the fence if I get one more police blotter report on those fools before camp.  If that happens, do you know who my new favorite team is?  That’s right, it’s anybody who plays the Cleveland Browns when Johnny Manziel is under center.  I’ll probably regret saying this, but I hope that Cincinnati, Piitsburgh, and Baltimore lay the MF-ing wood to this punk and knock some common sense and more importantly self-respect into him.

Hey Cleveland, do you seriously want me to believe that this pint sized clown who rolls with Justin Bieber is the answer to becoming the leader of your Professional Football team?  Oh no, no, no.  Holy shit, Greg Giraldo wants to come out of his freaking dirt nap to get him some of this one.  Bottom Line is this:  HEY JONNY QUEST, YOU’VE DONE EXACTLY SQUAT!!!  SHUT YOUR YAP, KEEP YOUR SHIT ON THE DOWN LOW AND GET TO WORK!  LEARN FROM THE VETS – YOU DAMN SURE DON’T KNOW IT ALL!!!

Josh Gordon.  Holy Crap.  Hey Josh, I get innocent until proven guilty, but how the hell did you even put yourself in a position to get Johnny Law to bust your ass for DUI?  Seriously?  With a suspension from the sheriff looming?  There ain’t a 12-step program in the world that helps stupidity.  What, you in competition with Aldon Smith to see who can be the most ignorant sumbitch in the NFL?

UFC.  I’m not big on this shit, even less so when the women scrap, but damn Rhonda Rousey only took 16 seconds to beat her opponent?  Good thing she isn’t carrying a PPV because nobody wants to shell out that kind of cheese on a 16 second fight.

But one thing I will say about that woman is that she is probably the baddest of all the Expendables.

Douche Bag of the Week.  There really isn’t much of a debate on this one this week:

                                                                                                  

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