Welcome to another Wednesday here at the Gab. We’re halfway through the week and getting closer to the official start of summer. Looks like I’ll be spending Memorial Day in Cincinnati. My fiancé is wedding dress shopping. I wonder if I could talk her into a Reds game…

Speaking of summer, the Tigers-Indians series was as exciting to watch as I thought it would be. Well, Friday was a bit of a one sided affair, but as a Tigers fan it was nice to see. Just about everyone got a hit. Andy Dirks even got a home run. After that, however, the Tigers lost their grip. Ubaldo and the Tribe outdueled Verlander on Saturday. Then the Tribe got some late game hitting to beat the Tigers on Mother’s Day. If the weekend was any indication, these two teams are going to give each other grief all season.

I’m a bit surprised the White Sox aren’t being more of a problem. Alex Rios is acting as the team’s offense. The problem is he’s leading with a .279 average. He also has the team lead for almost every other meaningful hitting stat. Their offensive stats are just too close to what they’re giving up. They have a stud pitcher in Chris Sales and Jake Peavy has matched Sale’s 4 wins. After those spots, things get hazy. It doesn’t help that the Tribe and Royals added so many pieces in the off season. The Twins, while underachieving the last few seasons, also look in better shape. Mauer hitting .343 is always a good sign.

Not surprisingly, the AL East has started off super competitive. Last week, the division boasted a three team tie for first between the Yankees, Red Sox, and Orioles. As of now, the Yanks have a one game lead over the Os. While NY might’ve lost Hafner for a stretch, they’ll be getting Granderson back. Those spare parts have done their job and kept the Yankees respectable.

I came across a video celebrating the Seattle Mariners and their recently departed radio play-by-play man Dave Niehaus. It’s by Macklemore, the Thrift Shop guy. I usually don’t go for his style, but I’ll admit I liked Thrift Shop. It’s catchy and has an actual message, which I find lacking in the hip hop genre. This song lets me know he might have a little more where that came from. Plus, I’ve yet to hear anyone celebrate the Mariners in song…

It’s been an interesting career for Titus Young lately. Following his release from the Lions and his 10 days with the Rams, Young has spent more time in trouble with the law than his former Lions teammates combined. In fact, he was arrested 3 times last week. A home owner admitted he almost shot Young when he entered his home. Few people have had such falls.

Young’s father has recently offered some explanation. According to Richard Young, Titus Young suffers from a psychological disorder. What disorder, however, was not named. Young’s father also mentioned that the disorder took hold following a concussion Young suffered in his rookie season. The only problem: Young was never diagnosed with a concussion. Young’s father also mentioned that treatment would only take 6 months if Young followed the doctor’s instructions. I don’t know a whole lot about neuroscience, but I imagine brain disorders take longer than 6 months to overcome.

These explanations make me wonder if his condition is hereditary.

Still, Bears receiver Brandon Marshall has reached out to Young. Marshall suffers from a personality disorder, but has received treatment. Marshall is adamant that Young should step up and enter a similar program.

Manti T’eo’s girlfriend has been voted the 69^th hottest woman on the planet according to Maxim. I don’t feel too bad for Manti on this. He’s gonna have to get over this. I feel worse for women #100-70. How bad would it be to get ranked behind nothing?

No one is having a better week than this guy...

Well, thanks as always for stopping by. Hope this week keeps going as fast as it has been. A good friend of mine just got a job as an emergency room technician after a few years of working valet at the same hospital. Luckily, it seems like he was shmoozing while he was parking. Needless to say, this calls for a few beers. I leave you as always with your word of the week.

sit of shame, noun

Welcome to Wednesday, where the order of the night was to have a beer and enjoy the arrival of spring before getting down to writing. I’ve been enjoying my share of baseball lately. The Tiger bats have come in with spring. Still, the weathers been nice enough that it’s been hard to really give much time to watch a game.

We don’t get a long spring here. We usually come out the deep freeze and into the fryer. Plus, I have to enjoy being out there until the ice cream trucks come. I used to love those things as a kid. Now the music alone is enough to want to block off my street. Not to mention the prices… Also, does anyone know if they still have those WWF ice cream bars? Scott?

Baseball has been on my mind most here. I’m intrigued by the race between the Tigers and the Royals. The Royals always had good, young position players. The problem was that they couldn’t develop pitchers. If they could (Grienke), they could only keep them until their rookie contracts ran out. This offseason they brought in some arms and it is paying off. As BOB mentioned, the Tribe is coming up too. Just in time for a weekend series. Could be my dad’s time to gloat…

What happened to that vaunted Phillies starting rotation? Roy Halladay (a guy I’ve always liked) had only 2 wins in 6 outings with an 8.65 Era before his trip to the DL. That’s coming off a 2012 season that saw his lowest win total in 8 years. There’s a lot to like about Halladay. When he’s on, he’s a force. He had a four year streak of 200+ strikeout seasons culminating with 220 in 2011. What’s even better is that he disparaged Yankee Nation. When everyone was ready to see him in pinstripes in 2009-2010, Halladay stunned everyone by going to Philly. Incredibly, Halladay and the Phils have never put things together to win a World Series. I’d say the bats aged too much to help Halladay and co. I’m sure Halladay can pull it together when he’s healthy. If not, I wonder what this does to all the Hall of Fame talk?

Speaking of HOF talk, everyone’s friends at ESPN asked the question: who is the best right handed pitcher in baseball? Your options were Yu Darvish, Justin Verlander, Felix Hernandez, and other. Darvish came in second in the polls, though most folks explained they’d rank JV and King Felix ahead of him. Darvish is off to a hell of a start with a record of 5-1 and a 2.56 ERA. He was pretty close to perfection. Still, it’s unknown if he has the longevity of Verlander or Hernandez yet. There’s no need to rush Darvish into these kinds of talks. Of course, like most Japanese players, there is the unfortunate fact that he spent 7 seasons playing in Japan. He did not pitch a single game his first two seasons or at least is not credited with any stats.

 I wonder how close we might be to MLB teams getting guys like Darvish or Ichiro as truly young prospects? Can you imagine how much more reverence Ichiro would have if he had played in the US his entire career? On the flip side, others may wonder if Ichiro would boast the same career numbers if he had started here. Still, I’d be interest to see MLB clubs start to challenge the Japan Pacific League for younger players.

Now, I know it’s been said by many here before, but why doesn’t Tim Duncan get more credit in today’s NBA? This guy was raised for the NBA by the great David Robinson. He was groomed playing against the likes of Shaq, Olajuwan, and Ewing. Looking at players like Dwight Howard, it remains to be seen if we’ll ever really see a player like Duncan again. That saddens me. I used to love watching the bigs tussle down low. I modeled my own game after it. Physical play down low is an aspect of the game that I just don’t see on any level anymore. It’s more likely in college, but it gets abandoned quickly in the pros. Duncan still does things the right way. Granted he has a nice mid-short range jumper, but he gets it done in the post and on the boards too. He’s gotten awards and ranks well historically, but Duncan doesn’t have the flair to rank in the SportsCenter world.

Players like Duncan have me pulling hard for the Spurs. The Spurs built themselves up the right way: drafts and smart trades. Ginobli was the 57^th overall pick in the 1999 draft. Mind you this was the draft with a top five of Elton Brand, Stever Francis, Baron Davis, Lamar Odom, and Jonathon Bender. Now, these guys had decent careers, but Manu and the Spurs have 4 titles since then.  Of course, the Spurs had picked Leon Smith with the 29^th pick. Parker was their 28^th overall pick just 2 years later. The Spurs fly in the face of big threes. That’s why you gotta love em. Of course, I cut Thunder fans slack too.

After all the flap about James not winning the MVP unanimously, I have one answer: change the award. The fact that the award is given to the most valuable player lends itself to arguments like the one made in favor of Carmelo Anthony. Call it the League’s Best or something. That way you can assure it goes to the best player, though it usually finds its way there anyways.

Well, that’s all for this week. Hope you all have been pulling yourselves away from the NBA/NHL playoffs and MLB to enjoy the weather. If not, be sure to. Thanks as always for stopping in. I leave you with your word of the week.

Congratsturbating

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.

Coined by Jon Stewart

'Did you hear Susan Collins saying how proud she was that Congress passed a bill to speed up air travel?'

“Yeah that bitch is just congratsturbating.'

I give ESPN credit for finding a nice non story during the NBA Playoffs. I have a vague idea of who is playing, but I am not too worried about the playoffs. Right now the Tigers are on and the Wings are in jeopardy of snapping a 21 year streak of playoff appearances. Well, the Lakers proved to be less of a train wreck than over half of all NBA teams and limped into the playoffs. I suppose you may have also heard that Kobe Bryant is hurt and not playing. Kobe has kept himself busy on Twitter and provided live commentary to his followers during the game. The media eagerly followed as well and were all too quick to ask Coach D’Antoni about it. I’m not sure why a coach would care, much less how he’d know about it. If you’re paying a guy multi-millions, I’m hoping his nose is on the court and not by his phone/tablet.

The story was a lead on ESPN and was shown alongside the game highlights. Kobe noticed this and has vowed not to Tweet again during the game. I think it really sucks that the world-wide leader and others turned Kobe’s tweets into such a big deal. I’d rather see Kobe at the games if possible, but I think it was a great way for Bryant to connect with his fans. It showcases Bryant’s knowledge. We’ve had a lot of former players finding success as coaches recently and I think Bryant would do equally well. I certainly hope he can learn from MJ and stay out of the ownership role. Still, I’d much rather see Bryant on the sideline than in the broadcast booth. Of course, now they have a story with the all time Lakers going after Dwight Howard for his effort in the last game.

Back to the Red Wings, this has been a tough year. I have stayed away from hockey on the principle of almost losing a second season in 10 years to greed and incompetence. Still, the strike shortened season is always a tough one to manage. Some teams like Chicago come out relatively unaffected. Others struggle. The Wings struggled. They’re not as young as they used to be. The majority of the team is well over 25. Datsyuk (34) and Zetterberg (32) are growing a little long in the tooth. The bright spot of the year has been that the shortened training session has made coach Mike Babcock give some of the younger players more ice time. It’s taken them some time to get the legs and they’ve suffered. Goal scoring has been sporadic. The defense hasn’t done a whole lot of favors for Howard. Still, the ashes of this season, should they miss the playoffs, will see that younger players got more experience. Not just in Detroit either. With luck, most hockey fans can take away the idea that the hectic strike shortened schedule has given them a look at their futures. Hopefully both players and management pull their heads out of their asses so there will be one.

Meateatiation, noun
The process of solving a conflict, or a number of conflicts between two or more parties through eating copious amounts of meat in front of the conflicting parties until an amicable agreement is reached.
1. "Me and my husbands marriage was on the rocks, until we had a few sessions of Meateatiation.......now the only problem I have to worry about is taking a stool at regular intervals."

2. "Do we really need to get the lawyers involved, can't we just settle this through the civilised means of Meateatiation?"

3. "Can't this dispute be resolved through mediation?"

"I'm afraid not Ma'am, this is far too serious, I think the only way we are going to settle this is through five two hour sessions of Meateatiation.

4. "If you two cunts can't get your fucken shit together and resolve this conflict, I'm going to be forced to eat copious amounts of meat to solve this."

"What?!?!....surely we don't need to get a Meateatiator involved?”

Welcome to Wednesday, Gabbers. Looks like we’re starting to see a bit more of spring out there. We’ve had some decent temps lately. More importantly, we’re getting rain. With much of the US mired in a multi-season drought, all those greens on the weather map look all right to me. Locally, it’s been pretty hard not to notice that the lakes have not been at their best. I realize I’m a pretty tall guy, but I have to go a good ways into most lakes here to get water past my navel. Hopefully we can have more rain this year and keep the snow coming to try and make up the deficit.

Speaking of making up, looks like the NHL is already planning some fan appeasement next season. While there is hockey now, a lot of fans we’re upset that the squabbling of Betteman and the player’s reps cost everyone the Winter Classic. If the league has done anything possible in the last few years, it has to be the Winter Classic. Hockey is a game that was made for the elements, so returning to the great outdoors has been great for the sport and its fans. This year’s game was supposed to be at the Big House in Ann Arbor, which has the largest seating capacity of any stadium.

The good news is the NHL is letting Ann Arbor keep the New Year’s Day game. A lot of people lost out on that cancellation, including the people of Ann Arbor. The league has also announced plans for 5 other outdoor games. On January 25, hell will freeze over as an ice rink is installed at Dodgers Stadium for a game between the Los Angeles Kings and the Anaheim Ducks. The next three games will all run up to the Super Bowl. This is something of a slick move, though the motives are pretty clear: let’s win over a few football fans with our product. New York will host two games at Yankee Stadium. Both games will feature the Rangers as the visiting team. They’ll take on the NJ Devils and the NY Islanders.

The league will also host two outdoor games during Hockey Weekend Across America. Chicago’s Soldier field will play host to the Chicago Blackhawks and the Pittsburgh Penguins on March 1. A day later, the Vancouver Canucks and Ottawa Senators will play at BC Place in Vancouver.

The games are not set. The teams being named still have to approve. Some people wonder if this dilutes what has been a special event for the league. I would think, however, that this will be the only season we see some many outdoor games. I see it as more of a gesture to the fans for screwing things up this year as well as a way to grab a little attention before the Super Bowl. I just wonder how much good it will do. Having two major strikes so close together has even shaken your hardcore fans. With the most recent labor deal having a minimum shelf life of 8 years, the NHL has a lot of work to do to assure fans they are thinking of their best interests and for what is good for the game. The specter of another shortened or cancelled season may loom, but the NHL seems to be taking a good stride forward with this announcement.

Still, I would have loved to see the league try to include all of the Original Six teams. I realize that several of these teams have already had outdoor games, but at this point the league needs to recall its past and remind fans of what they used to offer. They should do ANYTHING to get fans to not look at this year. I’ll cut them some slack in that they got 4 of 6 in.

The NFL speculation season is in full swing. The draft is roughly a week away. The 2013 schedule comes out on Thursday. You can expect ESPN to call for another undefeated Patriots season on Friday.

The Bengals recent talks with former Pittsburgh linebacker James Harrison have hit a snag. Harrison was recently cut for Pittsburgh due to a refusal to take a pay cut. With his age (34), declining stats, and tendency to get fined/suspended in consideration I am not sure what Harrison expects. I also don’t see why the Bengals would want a guy like Harrison. They’ve just managed to shed the Longest Yard jokes and are starting to look like a team. Harrison is a vet, but he brings a dirty player rep to a young and talented team. The Bengals would be much better off going after Carlos Dansby. He is 3 years younger, but doesn’t bring the same baggage.

It’s reported that Harrison is getting little attention elsewhere. I imagine someone will take a chance on him, but this should show the veteran a few things. 1) You need to re-evaluate your style of play. People are getting tired of seeing the cheap shots.  2) You may need to lower your asking price. Vets just aren’t getting the same amount.

I read about what might be the craziest rite of passage since the Masi spear hunting lions. I just finished reading The Tracker, which is the story of Tom Brown Jr. Brown is a professional tracker and survivalist who applies his skill to find lost hikers in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. He had an interesting upbringing that introduced him to the wilderness and saw a love and respect for the natural world. He was able to learn how to observe and track nature from an old Apache named Stalking Wolf. Stalking Wolf also told Brown of an old tradition in which a brave would stalk a grizzly bear until he could reach up and smack the bear to prove his tracking skills. This led to one of Stalking Wolf’s friends being mauled to death and almost cost Brown his own life years later. Weird ritual, but a real good read.

That’s all I have for this week. Thanks as always for reading. Here’s hoping you’ve been seeing some spring. I leave you as always with your word of the week.

update day

The one day, usually every month or so, where you finally crack, and update Adobe, Itunes, Steam, and a bunch of other crap all day. Basically renders your computer useless if you are using anything but solitaire.
 

God dammit! iTunes wants me too update! And Steam too! I guess it is update day again.

Hey Gabbers and welcome to another Wednesday. We’re halfway through another week and a full weekend into a new MLB season. How crazy would it have been to have a perfect game in week one? It almost happened when Yu Darvish and the Rangers took on the Houston Astros last Tuesday. Darvish looked worth every penny the Rangers spent on him as he fanned 14 batters and was a third of an inning away from perfection. The Astros, however, managed to break things up with a last-minute hit. Unfortunately for the Rangers, Darvish would only make it through 5 innings in his next start before he was pulled due to a blister. Darvish should be back Friday against the Mariners.

The news has been worse for the rival Anaheim Angels. They’ve lost starter Jared Weaver for 4-6 weeks due to a broken left elbow. The angel’s big free agent signee Josh Hamilton has struggled with his new team. Apparently $17.4 million can only get you a .138 avg with no homers and 3 RBIs. I have no doubt that Hamilton will only get better, but a theme is starting to emerge.

More and more of these mega-deals seem to come with impediments for both the athlete involved and his team. It seems like the higher the pay check, the more pressure these guys are putting themselves under. Most of the time it seems to stun them. It stunned Albert Pujols for the better part of the 2012 season. (A lot of his struggles do appear to be just getting back into the swing of the season, but the contract probably helped extend his troubles.) Dwight Howard has all but faded away. A year ago, Howard was playing out his final days with the Magic in asinine style. Still, he was producing on the floor. Howard averaged more minutes, points, and rebounds last season. He was also showing enough to make teams line up for him despite a piss poor attitude. I’m starting to wonder how many teams will put up with his act now that he’s lulled through a year of subpar stats and approval ratings.

Despite superstar deals, teams like the Lakers, Angels, and Blue Jays find themselves in less than enviable positions. It’s true that the Lakers may limp into the playoffs. They are currently a half-game ahead of the Utah Jazz, though the Jazz hold the tie breaker and have a seemingly easier schedule. The MLB season is merely a week old. Toronto is dead last in the AL East at 2-5. If I’ve noticed anything, however, it’s that the Jays have a dangerous mix of speed and power. The Tigers managed to beat them yesterday, but you could see how having a mix of guys like Reyes and Bonifacio to complement the power of Bautista, Encarnacion, and  Melky Cabrera is dangerous. The AL East, however, is loaded with talented teams. Even teams like Boston and New York, who many had written off, are going to pose a big problem. Falling behind early is dangerous this season.

The Angels would find themselves in dead last if not for the MLB’s decision to move the Astros to the AL West. Still, the Astros are only half a game behind the Angels and their vaunted payroll. Still, the Rangers nearly swept the Angels. The series was probably especially hard for Josh Hamilton. Hamilton was booed by Texas fans each and every game and had his words about Arlington not being a baseball town rubbed in his face all weekend. Hamilton noted that he was bothered by the boo birds which is no doubt something fans of other teams will keep in mind. (Still, would’ve been so much worse if he’d chosen the pinstripes.) Still, most think the AL West will be a three team race between LA, Texas, and Oakland with the Mariners playing an improved spoiler. The season is young. Hamilton will snap out of it. Jared Weaver will be back. Yet, the idea that teams seem to forgo chemistry to bring in star power remains.

This year will no doubt have some great baseball moments, but quite a few players are moving closer to milestones. While it may have come on a very questionable call, Joe Nathan collected his 300th save when he managed to get that third strike against the Rays two days ago. Albert Pujols is 25 HR and 66 RBIs away from joining the 500/1,500 club this season. He ought to get that by the All-Star break. Torii Hunter reached 2,000 hits yesterday in a win over the Jays. Both King Felix and Justin Verlander should make the 1,500 strike out club.

Prior to the NCAA title game, the Naismith Hall of Fame announced its 2013 inductees. Rick Pitino built upon a hell of a week with an induction followed up in short order by another National Championship and news that his race horse AP Valentine qualified for the Kentucky Derby along with former pupil Bobby Hurley’s horse Songandaprayer. Gary Peyton and Bernard King join Pitino as the only men’s players selected. Notable players who fell short were Tim Hardaway, Mitch Richmond, and Maurice Cheeks.

BOB touched on a point I’ve been having a problem with going into the National Championship game. Very little UofM coverage didn’t mention the Fab Five. Everyone went to painstaking lengths to compare this team with the Fab Five. ESPN is oddly Fab Five obsessed. Why? Someone tell me what they did other than fail to count to 3 and lose. They didn’t win the Big Ten and they didn’t get any national titles. The 1989 team did. They also had some star power with alum like Glen Rice, Loy Vaught, Terry Mills, and Rumeal Robinson. Still, no ’89 guys at the game? Or if there were, no one seemed to care. If I’m a UofM player, I’d rather hear from someone who won it all, not guys trying to hold on tom some franchise they built on attitude.

Well, that’s it for me. Sorry for the later postings lately. My friend Dave is back from Afghanistan. We went out to see the Evil Dead remake last night. Pretty good remake, but not better than the original. If you’re a die-hard fan, try to stay past the credits for some bonus fun. Thanks as always for stopping in. I leave you with your word of the week.

Fab Five, noun

A collection of five people, sexual orientation aside, who are just so fabulous that they must define themselves as such.
 

The Fab Five is completely fabulous.

The Fab Five would like some cheesecake.