Happy Hump Day folks and welcome once again to Whip It Out Wednesday here at the Gab. Big things happening this week as perhaps the most reviled and revered owner in professional sports, George Steinbrenner, has passed on.  Honestly, at first, I heard the news and thought “great, another chance to steal the spotlight from baseball for the Yankees, Steinbrenner dies on the night of the All-Star game”… but honestly, the more I think about it, the less it’s true.

            Regardless of whether you are a Yankees fan or not, you have to admit, you would LOVE for your team to be owned by George Steinbrenner. Look, the man wasn’t shy about his willingness to spend money in order to win. And that’s the key when you talk about Steinbrenner… winning. That’s what the man was about, that’s what he spent money to do. But, as SFelber mentioned Tuesday, he was also known for giving back to the community… something I’m sure we’d all love to do if we had the kind of money this guy has. But for the most part, you see some douchebag celebrity or millionaire “donating” their time or their name to something, more so for the publicity than to help others in need. Steinbrenner often made donations under the stipulation that nobody was to know who made them.

            I’m as big a Yankee hater as there is out there, but I’ll admit freely, if he were the owner of the Tigers, I would’ve loved every dime he spent bringing the nine championships he brought to the Yankee organization. And since I’m at it, another condolence to all the Yankee fans out there on the loss of former P.A. announcer Bob Sheppard, a man whose voice we’ve all heard during some part of our baseball memories, good or bad.

            But that’s enough Yankee talk… at least friendly Yankees talk that is! Let’s get on to the All-Star festivities, namely the home run derby that took place last night. First of all, where is the petition to bar Chris Berman and Joe Morgan from EVER doing commentary on anything again for the rest of their natural lives? I’ll be first in line to sign it. Morgan is dumb as a rock… dumber than the parade of jackasses sitting in with the duo… and that includes Bobby Valentine! The only source of entertainment the entire night was the brief appearance made by Will Ferrell… and even that was less than extraordinary. Just hearing Berman’s voice is enough to make me want to go on a shooting rampage somewhere. Let alone his nicknames for everyone on the face of the earth, and his repetitive use of the word back each of the 200 times someone hit a home run during the derby.

            As for the Derby its self, it was a pretty decent show, at least as far as Corey Hart’s first round, and the way Hanley Ramirez was crushing the ball the entire night. But, of course, that was ruined by the constant knob bobbing by Berman, Morgan and anyone else around on David Ortiz. Look, I get it, Ortiz is a big, fat, fun loving guy… and most people want to like him. The guy is a fucking cheat, no matter how much you want to like him or anything he does. Between Ortiz and AFraud, it seems like the folks ESPiN think anybody that does anything stupid not only deserves a second chance, but should get a fucking parade for it too.

            Anything Ortiz has been through has been his own doing. Here’s an idea, how about we do something crazy and celebrate somebody that has done everything right… you know, stayed on the right side of the rules, or in Ortiz’s case, the law. They did the same thing with Josh Hamilton… but at least Hamilton didn’t cheat the game of baseball. Next thing you know, ESPN will be celebrating the comebacks of Barry Bonds and Jose Canseco, and hell, maybe even Raffy “finger waggin” Palmero.

            As for the other “big news” of the past week… I didn’t think there was much of anything out there that could possibly make me despise the NBA any more than I already did… but it happened with the uniting of douchebaggery in Maimi… with LeBron James and Chris Bosh joining forces with Dwayne Wade to play for the Heat for the next six years. Why even play a regular season next year, why not just skip it all, disband the rest of the teams in the NBA, and hold a Lakers-Heat NBA Finals next summer. So, now there’s even less of a chance that I’ll watch an NBA game next year, thanks to all of this. As I’ve said before, and as I’ll say again… hopefully hockey will get on a decent network so I can avoid the NBA all together next year.

            To close it out this week, I’d just like to make an announcement… after this week, there will be a new lineup on Wednesdays. Because of work, school, and a few other things, I will no longer be able to post every Wednesday here at the Gab. I need to take some time and re-assess everything going on in my life right now, and to change the way I’ve been doing things. With everything going on right now, I just don’t think I can contribute the sort of post every week that this site and the great people reading deserve, so I am stepping down. I will continue to post as much as I can, and to check in as often as possible. It’s been an honor and a privilege for me to post and to be a part of all the great things that have happened here at the Gab over the past year. Thanks to all of you for making it all worthwhile every week for me, and to Kevin, Kyle and Steve for creating such a great place for all of us to come and rant whenever we need to, in an uncensored, no bullshit environment.

            And thanks, as always, for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great Hump Day Gabbers, and blog on!  

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       Well Happy Hump Day once again folks, and thanks for joining me once again for Whip It Out Wednesday here at the Gab.

     To kick things off this week, I'd just like to send a belated happy birthday out to the good 'ol USofA. Sure, there's a laundry list of things to bitch about with the state of our country today, but all in all, there's nowhere better on this earth to call home. If you don't love it, leave it I say... which brings me to the song of the week...

   Hope you all had a great 4th of July weekend.

  As for me, I finally found myself a damned job! Sure, it's just remanufacturing cell phones, but it beats the hell out of what I'd be making a week from now when my unemployment dries up. Hell, it's easy money anyhow... sittin in a chair, sorting and testing cell phones all day. The biggest plus is probably that time flies because there's always something to do.

  Baseball's nearly hit it's mid season classic, and the All-Star teams have been announced. Obviously, the biggest snub is Cincy's Joey Votto... the guy got the Ben Roethlisberger bar-bathroom treatment if you ask me... The fact that Charlie Manuel named Ryan Howard to the team over Votto, along with Joe Girardi taking A-Fraud over on the AL side, really makes you wonder why the hell managers still get to chose guys. Hopefully Votto wins the final vote over on the NL side, and hopefully either Youk or Kornerko win over on the AL side. As much as I like Nick Swisher, I can't stand seeing another Yankee douchebag on the team... and you know every douchebag Yankee fan is out there stuffing the ballot box right now. What really pisses me off is the fact that Swisher makes that ballot over Alex Rios, the biggest screw job of anybody over on the AL side. Look, Bautista has 21 HRs... that's great... but he's also hitting .225! Not only does Rios have the better batting average, he's got 20+ steals to boot... and his team actually has a fucking shot at the playoffs this year.

  Of course, there is no real point in continuing to rant and rave about All-Star rosters. As much as Bud Selig wants us to think it counts, it doesn't. The AL is going to win, and get home-field advantage, so when the Yankees and Phillies play each other in the Series again this fall, the Yanks get home field. Wait... what... they have another half a season to go... and the Phillies aren't even in the playoffs at this point? Well, that's what they said about the LeBron-Kobe NBA Finals, too...

  As for the NBA and it's blockbuster summer... where the hell are all the blockbusters anyhow? All it is is a bunch of "experts" pandering on about situations they know nothing about, speculating on where the most selfish douchebag in sports today, Mr.LeBron James, is going to play basketball next season. Like I said before, if you want a championship, bring in Dwayne Wade and a guy like Carlos Boozer... especially for a team like Chicago that already has a good young point guard like Derrick Rose. LeBron will likely end his career with fewer championship rings than Adam Morrisson... and that's just fucking hillarious in my eyes.

  Biggest move to go down so far... Amar'e Stoudemaire going to the Knicks. MAYBE this makes the Knicks an 8 seed in the East, and that's only if they can bring another worthwhile player in out of this class. Much like I say about the Yankees... FUCK the Knicks too!

  Great to see the UFC grab some headlines this weekend, too, with their Lesnar-Carwin megafight. Maybe boxing should take a note or two from this... people don't want to watch a couple of loudmouthed featherweights dance around a ring and throw ten actual punches per round...they want to see two big bastards stand in the middle of a ring and knock the crap out of each other for a couple of rounds. As for the actual fight... something about watching that "submission" kind of stank to me. Carwin spends the enitire fight knocking the shit out of Lesnar, and then taps on what didn't look like much of a submission hold in the first place? There's a lot of talk about a "fixed fight"... and you really have to hope that's not the case for UFC. Otherwise, they're no more than a glorified version of WWE.

   Which brings me to a real fighter, a true Motor City legend Mr. Bob Probert. The toughest SOB ever to wear the Winged-Wheel passed away on Sunday at just 45. Probert was best known for, well, kicking the crap out of anyone and everyone who wanted some. His battles with the likes of Tai Dome were epic, and paired with Joe Kocur during his time in Detroit, there was never a tougher pair on the ice. He's still #6 all-time in NHL history in penalty minutes, and the mention of the man's name takes me back to a time when hockey was still hockey... touch my guy or even talk to him the wrong way, and I'll stab you in the face with a soldiering iron!

  Well, that'll do it for me this week folks. Thanks as always for reading, and for any comments you leave on the way out.
 

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    Good day Gabbers, and welcome to another edition of Whip It Out Wednesday. This week marked yet another great week around here, as I actually got a job interview, today at 1PM! Not only that, but we got a new edition to the family... a 100 pound bundle of joy named Max, a chow/collie/st.bernard mix. The dog is an absolute beast... hopefully I get this job so we can afford the freakin Dog Chow for this thing!

  So this week the gauntlet has been thrown down by my brother, AverageFanDetroit, to cast our votes for the AL and NL All-Star teams. On top of the actual position players you can vote for, we'll also add a starter and a relief pitcher to our selections. So, without further adieu, here are my choices for the MLB All-Star game, starting with the AL...

1B- Miguel Cabrerra, DET. .335, 20HR, 66RBI. Two other guys deserve a spot on the roster, Paul Kornerko and Justin Morneau, but I'd give Cabby the nod as the starter. Tops em both in terms of RBIs, and is tied with Kornerko in terms of HRs. Morneau is hitting 15 points higher, but Cabrerra's impact on the Tigers is much greater than the other twos' impacts on their clubs. Not only should he be an All-Star starter, but I'd say he's the AL MVP at this point of the season.

2B- Robinson Cano, NYY. .358, 15HR, 53RBI. As much as it pains me to vote for a Yankee... the guy is heads and shoulders above the rest at second base. Pedroia has great numbers, too, and if he weren't injured would be a stellar backup. As it stands, Howie Kendrick or Ben Zobrist would be the best backup there.

3B- Adrian Beltre, BOS. .340, 12HR, 52RBI. Longoria will probably win the vote here, but Beltre is hitting a full 43 points higher than Evan with similiar home run and RBI production. AFraud will probably also find his way onto the roster, just hopefully not by fan vote. Michael Young also deserves strong consideration.

SS- Elvis Andrus, TEX. .297, 0HR, 24RBI, 21 SB. Andrus gets the nod here, mostly because this is a weak spot stat wise, and because of the success Texas has had this year. Alex Gonzalez of Toronto and even Marco Scutaro of Boston are other possibilities.

C- John Buck, TOR. .263, 13HR, 40RBI. This would be a much easier vote if Victor Martinez wasn't hurt, but with Martinez down, Buck gets my vote narrowly over Kurt Suzuki. If Martinez is unable to participate in the All-Star game, Suzuki or Joe Mauer is the backup.

OF#1- Josh Hamilton, TEX. .346, 18HR, 57RBI.

OF#2- Magglio Ordonez, DET. .319, 10HR, 49RBI. B-DUB SPECIAL!

OF#3- Alex Rios, CWS. .312, 13HR, 40RBI, 21SB.

  Hamilton is the clear first choice at OF, despite his past douchebaggery... Maggs has good average and RBI numbers, and his home run production is on the way up as well. Rios gets the nod for his all around numbers. I'd like to see Brennan Boesch get some recognition too, but there are plenty of others at this spot, so he'll likely have to wait his turn.

DH- Vladamir Guerrero, TEX. .327, 15, 60. Guerrero is far and away the best choice at DH.

SP- Clay Buchholtz, BOS. 10-4, 2.45ERA. It came down to Buchholtz, David Price and John Lester in my eyes, and at the end of the day Buchholtz just had better overall numbers. All three deserve a roster spot, though.

CL- Jose Valverde, DET. 18-19SV-SVO, 0.53 ERA. Call me a homer if you want, but I'll take Valverde and his 0.53 ERA. Outside of one bad outing, Valverde has been damn near unhittable for the Tigers.

NATIONAL LEAGUE

1B- Albert Pujols, STL. .312, 18HR, 57RBI. Pujols narrowly gets my vote over Joey Votto of Cincinatti, but Votto deserves a reserve spot for sure.

2B- Martin Prado, ATL. .334, 7HR, 33RBI. Prado is the NL's leading hitter, and beats out a group full of better power numbers on that. Cincy's Brandon Phillips definitley deserves a backup nod.

3B- Scott Rolen, CIN. .301, 17, 53. Sure, David Wright probably deserves the vote, but anyone associated with the Situation... regardless of whether it is for a commercial or not, does NOT get my vote!

SS- Hanley Ramirez, FLA. .293, 12, 50. Han Ram gets my vote despite his early season shenanigans. Troy Tulowitzki and Jose Reyes are the next best two in my eyes.

C- Miguel Olivo, COL. .303, 11, 38. He doesn't get the press, but Olivo is having the best offensive season of any catcher in the National League.

OF#1- Ryan Braun, MIL. .299, 11, 49.

OF#2- Andre Ethier, LAD. .313, 12, 47.

OF#3- Carlos Gonzalez, COL. .303, 11, 45.

  These three head a suprisingly weak crop of NL outfielders.

SP- Ubaldo Jiminez, COL. 14-1, 1.83 ERA. Jiminez has been the best pitcher in baseball all season long, and edges out a strong crop of starting pitchers in the National League.

CL- Brian Wilson, SF. 21-23 SV-SVO, 2.25 ERA. Wilson gets the nod over a NL relief corps with a hell of a lot of blown saves on the record this year.

  There's my vote, so let's see yours. Let us know either in my comments or in my brothers'.

  How about I start the rest of this off by giving some props to the GameCocks! Not that I care about college baseball... I just like being able to reference the GameCocks...

  As for the rest of the sporting world today, I'd like to talk some more baseball, starting with the Tigers.

  Shock of the day... Joel Zumaya is injured! I know, I know, it's a crazy kind of a thing... so I'll give you a moment to let that set in. Yeah, this tool is out again after fracturing his elbow throwing a 99MPH heater Monday night against the Twins. Gotta wonder what the fuck Dave Dombrowski was thinking NOT trading this guy for whatever he could get for him the minute he was healthy and pitching well again. The guy is one of the best relievers in baseball when healthy (NOT closers, just relievers), but the issue is he's NEVER healthy for more than a month or two at a time. Should've got a few prospects for him earlier in the year, before he hit the shelf again. Hoepfully next time this happens, and there WILL be a next time if he ever comes back, the Tigers will be smart enough to get whatever they can for him.

  As for tonight's game with the Twins... it just makes me think about those pesky players who only seem to play well against YOUR team. For the Tigers, it's two guys on the Twins that stand out to me. First, there's Denard Spahn. The guy was highly touted coming over in a trade, but never seems to have fully panned out for the Twins... except when the Tigers are on the schedule. The guy is hitting .400 in his career against Detroit, including his 3 triples tonight! Also, Carl Pavano. The guy single-handedly cost the Tigers the division last season, and has continued that success this season as well. Of course, they also have Jim Thome on the roster, another guy who has hammered the Tigers over his career... but there are a lot more notches on his belt than the Detroit Tigers!

  So how about it, gabbers? Who is the one thorn in your teams' side that always seems to step it up when your boys come to town? You know... Bucky Freakin Dent style!

  The NBA's free-agent market just picked up two big names, with both Dirk Nowitzki and Paul Pierce opting out of their contracts for next year. Of course, this would be bigger news in a different year, as they are simply big fish in a massive pond this year.

  To be honest, I'd have to say that nabbing Dwayne Wade would be a bigger prize than getting LeBron. Look, Wade is just a better leader, the kind of guy you want to give your teams' max deal to. I'd say teaming Wade with Stoudemire in Miami and teaming LeBron with Bosh and Rose in Chicago next year would produce a championship for Miami before it would produce one for the folks in the Windy City. I just don't think LeBron has what it takes to lead a team to a championship.

  Another major newsflash... a member of the Cincinnatti Bengals has been arrested! Yet another newsflash... it was Cedric Benson! The biggest shock of it all... alcohol was involved... Apparently the whole not teaching old dogs new tricks also applies for large jungle cats.

  Well folks, that's gonna do it for me this week. Gotta go rest up for the interview tomorrow. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Happy Humpin, Gabbers.

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  Well folks, time for me to scratch that seven day itch... it's another Whip It Out Wednesday here at the Gab.

  Had a damn fine father's day, good food, plenty of time spent with the wife and son, and I even got to go to sleep before midnight! All in all, it was a hell of a day, highlighted by what turned into a block party after both of my next door neigbors realized we were cooking up ribs! Once we were all done cookin em up, we all met in the middle, swapped out a slab each, and wound up eating and hanging out for a couple of hours.

  Been a pretty good stretch of weeks around here since the mountain of shit we went through a while back. The wife actually found a job... and in this state, that's saying something. Hopefully I'll be doing the same within the next couple of weeks... especially since the unemployment is damn near dried up, and the fine folks over there in Congress seem to be unwilling to extend anything anymore... or to even bother voting on it!

  The World Cup is STILL going on... and I still do not care! One thing I couldn't help but laugh about related to it, though, was France's exit from competition. Now all we need is for the USA to be eliminated, and maybe ESPiN will shut the fuck up about this waste of a sport!

  The NBA Draft is coming up Thursday, and it's pretty obvious who will go at #1 to the Washington Wizards. Hell, the top five in the draft seem to be pretty obvious, with a few guys trading places here and there. The big question here in Detroit is which way the Pistons will go... will they take a shot at a big man, a point guard, or will they just grab the best player available when they pick at #7.
Most have the Pistons getting either DeMarcus Cousins if he should drop, Greg Monroe, Ed Davis or even Cole Aldrich with their first round pick. Ideally, you get Cousins and hope the veterans in that locker room can keep him in line. The guy has the kind of potential that makes it worth trading up to get him instead of grabbing whatever big man happens to be available when you do pick. The bottom line is, if Joe D doesn't have a great draft this year, this might be the last draft he runs as GM of the Pistons.

  Speaking of Charlie V... not only does the tool get a massive contract and play half-assed basketball for the Pistons last year, including losing his job to 2nd round pick Jonas Jerebko, but now he faces domestic assault charges in Canada. I called this a stupid signing when Dumars first laid the ink to the paper last offseason, and I'll do it again. This guy is NOT somebody you want to pay the league max to, and at this point, I don't even think he's somebody you want on your bench.

  Speaking of losers in the world of sports, Forbes.com released its' Most Disliked People in Sports earlier this week... topping the list once again was Michael Vick, followed by Raiders' owner Al Davis, "alleged" rapist Ben Roethlisberger, "alleged" sex addict Tiger Woods, and "alleged" baseball superstar Alex Rodriguez. Oh yeah, Jerry Jones was on there too. Gotta say, only thing this list was missing was LeBron James and I'm good with it. I honestly would just slide AFraud up to the top, and toss "The King" in there in front of Jones, and I'm happy with it! So, let's have a look at my top five "Most Disliked People in Sports"... (Matt Millen does not make the list because as far as I'm concerned, he's no longer associated with sports as a broadcaster)

1. Alex Rodriguez

2. Brett Favre

3. LeBron James

4. Scott Boras

5. Tiger Woods

  A lot more to list... but just not enough time this week! But once November rolls around, they'll all make the Turkey Bowl, where there will be plenty of time for their comeuppance!

  Going over to hockey, how about all the deals being made these past few days, including this years' playoff darling Jaraslov Halak being traded from Montreal to St.Louis for a pair of prospects. This move, along with the Sharks announcing that they will allow Nabakov to test the free agent waters, has stirred up a bit of talk in Detroit about nabbing a veteran goalie. My question, with as good as Jimmy Howard was all season and at times in the playoffs as a rookie... why the hell are we demanding a new goalie? Why not go after some younger defensemen and a few young forwards up front? People around here just got spoiled when it comes to the Wings... now if we don't win a Cup, there is obviously a fucking laundry list of shit that needs fixed! Look, stick with what you've got, and in a year or two, Howard will be fully ready to deliver another Cup to "Hockeytown".

  And happy trails today to one of the NHL's great defensemen, Scott Niedermayer, who retired after 18 seasons, including memorable, Cup winning stops in New Jersey and Anaheim. The guy was always a pain in my ass as a Wings fan, but I think in a way that just made me respect what he does even more. Hell of a career, including 4 cups, for Niedermayer. He also won two Olympic Gold medals as a member of team Canada, recently winning this year's gold as team captain.

  And while I'm talkin hockey here for a moment, how about some props to this years HOF class, including Dino Ciccarelli, along with two pioneers in women's hockey entering the Hall in Angela James and Cammi Granato. Two major snubs, though, in Doug Gillmore and Joe Nieuwendyk this year. Hopefully next year is their year, although they really deserved to be first-ballot Hall of Famers. Another shout out goes to former Red Wings exec Jimmy Devellano as well, for his induction as a builder.

  Speaking of Halls of Fame... I'd like to go on a little side rant here about the NFL Hall of Fame. This year's class, with Jerry Rice and Emmit Smith, STATISTICALLY the greatest wide receiver and running backs in NFL history headlining, is already great. Add to the mix John Randle, Dick LeBeau and Russ Grimm, and you've got a damn fine class for 2010. But what the fuck is with the obsession these people seem to have with not electing two wide receivers into the hall in the same class? It was an absolute JOKE for Cris Carter to not be a first ballot Hall of Famer last year. But to pass up a guy AGAIN who has over 1,000 career receptions, 13,899 yards and 130 career TD's just because of the position he played? You have got to be fucking kidding me! It makes as little sense to me as baseball hall of fame voters NOT voting for a guy because they don't want him to get 100% of the vote. Would have made a great class even greater had Carter been added to the mix... maybe you'll get it right next year, Canton.

  As for current NFL happenings, how about the Bolts not only loosing their best receiver in Vincent Jackson, but their LT Marcus McNeil in the same day? Both have not signed their RFA tenders, and both are now avialable in a trade, should the right price come along. If anybody from the Detroit Lions organization is reading this... offer them a second rounder next year for McNeil... PLEASE! Hell, even throw Jeff Backuses sorry ass in there for good measure, mostly to get that shitbag out of Detroit!

  Well, that's it for this week folks. Thanks as always for reading, and for any comments you leave on the way out. Happy Hump Day, folks.

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     Good day to you Gabbers, and welcome to another edition of Whip It Out Wednesday with your old pal, IHateMillen. Well, finally there was a week without much shitty luck here at home... nobody got fired, nothing got repoed... and hell, I even heard back about a job I applied for for the first time in several months! So, in order to tempt fate, I will declare the two week shit storm officially over... and if you hear about my untimely demise after being struck by lightning later on tonight, at least I went out on a good note.

  Speaking of which, a lot of good notes coming out of East Lansing today, as Tom Izzo announced he will remain as coach of the Michigan State Spartans. I'll admit, I would have had a difficult time passing up $30 million over five years too... but in the end, the man is a college coach. His style just doesn't fit the pro game... so good move to stay in a place you know you can succeed and avoid becoming the next Rick Pitino of the NBA.

  On another NBA note, looks like the Celtics and Lakers are going to a game seven... and it looks like there will be yet another NBA Finals game yours truly WON'T be watching. Haven't watched a single game yet... so why start now? All I can really say about that one is I hope the Celtics win... and that's only so LA doesn't win.

  You know, after all the hype ESPiN and the rest of the huddled mass of retardation we call the national media put into the USA-England World Cup game, isn't it fitting it winds up in a 1-1 tie? How fucking great is that... hype something up, including those stupid ads where they compare a soccer game to the American Revolution (not literally of course, but there were a few that made reference)... then have it end in a 1-1 tie... and only because England's goalie has a Bill Buckner moment. At least he doesn't play for any South American nation... otherwise his head would be on a stake somewhere in the outskirts of his hometown. Just goes to show you one thing... soccer STILL sucks, and a tournament of this magnitude including ties (or "draws", as the folks in soccer like to call them) just reinforces that point even further.

  The agent of Redskins DT Albert Haynesworth says his client wants a trade from the team. This comes only one offseason removed from his signing a massive, 100+ million dollar deal. Trick with that is trying to find someone actually willing to take on that sort of a mass of salary, not to mention the lack of production that comes out of Albert Haynesworth in any non-contract year! The way I see it, if you want out of Washington, give them back the money they paid your stupid ass, especially a major part of the signing bonus, and become a free agent again... oh, what's that, you didn't want to give up any money? Okay, then shut the fuck up and report your fat ass to training camp crybaby.

  Speaking of regrets, how about Colorado and Nebraska taking off from the Big XII, only to find out the big guns of the conference are sticking around? It's not like they were relegated to poor conferences in making the move, and they should still make plenty of money for their "non-profit" programs, for the "non-profit" NCAA... but honestly, at this point, there is something that is really pissing me off with all this realignment shit.

  The NCAA is supposed to be an academic institution that provides it's students an opportunity to compete in high level athletic competition, right? If that's the case, why the fuck is there a conference named the Big Ten... with twelve teams (there were eleven for a long time, too, before the addition of Nebraska).. and a conference named the Big Twelve... with ten fucking teams? I don't know about you all... but I say the conferences just trade names here... and stop looking like second grade dropouts already!

  Well, that's it for this week folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Happy Hump Day, Gabbers.
 

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   Well folks, it's that special day of the week once again, Wednesday here at YouGabSports. I'm sure many of you are wondering how the rest of the week went after all the bullshit that was ALREADY going on... well, as they say, shit rolls downhill!

   So Tuesday we go through the miscarriage, and on Wednesday morning when I go out to start the van to get the wife to her doctor's appointment, the hunk of shit is dead to the world. Won't turn over, nothing. So, long story short, gotta get a tow to the shop, get it fixed, pay for all that. So Thursday goes by, van's in the shop. Friday gets here, we get the van back, and everything is okay... right? WRONG! On Wednesday night, the jackholes we're paying for the "privelage" of driving this fine piece of Detroit-made engineering call and tell us "your payment is late (by 2 days)", so we tell them, look, we'll pay you next Thursday, we can't make the payment today because we had to bring the car to the shop. Jerkoff on the phone says, "okay, we'll make a note of it and everything will be fine." So, everything will be fine, right? WRONG. Saturday morning there's a knock at the door... it's some fuckin repo jackass, asking us for a key to the van, with the front end already jacked up. So $650 later, and not until Monday, we get the fuckin van back... and everything is fine, right? WRONG AGAIN!

   This very morning, my wife left for work at 6, her second day back after everything... because she had to have a doctor's note to get back to work, because she left for medical reasons... and because we didn't have a vehicle to GET her to the doctors, she couldn't go back to work without the note (or a WAY to work). So, about 20 minutes into her shift, she's called into the manager's office... gets fired! Yep... it's just been another one of those weeks around here.

   And now, just to cheer myself up a little... here is a random youtube video, a throwback to one the Beeze posted a little while ago...

    Now that all that is out of my system... let's talk some sports, shall we?

  To lead things off this week, I'd like to issue an apology to Jim Joyce. I was a part of the majority who wanted to lynch this guy after he screwed Armando Galarraga out of his perfect game, and I said a few things about him that, looking back, I'm not exactly proud of. The way Joyce took it, and the way he accepted his own fuck up and publicly apologized for it, as well as reamed himself out over it, shows me that he really does care about not only his job, but about the sport of baseball its self. Props to Jim Joyce for not only the way he's handled the entire situation, but also for coming to work the next day, and working behind the plate.

  And even more props to Galarraga for his handling of the situation. He's made a bigger name for himself by showing the kind of class and understanding he did after the game, and the next day, than he would of if he had simply pitched a perfect game. Although, a new Corvette doesn't hurt, either. (the Tigers presented him with a Corvette last week in recognition of the "almost" perfect game he pitched)

  And as is always the case, the villian in this situation becomes Bud Selig. First, he refuses to change the record to give Galarraga credit for the perfect game he threw. Now this asshat is refusing to expand instant replay any more, although it wouldn't really change much of anything, and would have helped to avoid this situation entirely. So, let me get this straight... Bud Selig is an advocate of human error? Despite the fact that the technology is already in place? If that's not the definition of retardation, I don't know what is! Please, do the world a favor Bud, and retire already... or keel over tomorrow in some sort of terrible bow-tieing accident.  

   How about something that DIDN'T dissapoint for a change... the debut of Stephen Strasburg! 7 innings, 4 hits, 2 earned runs and 14 Ks... if you aren't happy with that, you don't know JACK about baseball! Even more impressive is the fact that he didn't walk a single batter. Just goes to show you how good this kid is going to be, so long as he can stay healthy. Really though, great to see the Washington D.C. area in the news for the sport of baseball, considering they have the Major's two worst teams over the past two years in the Nationals and Orioles. Hopefully this means that next year the Nationals won't have the first overall pick, although that only means the O's will.

  As for the MLB draft, how about the fuckin folklore surrounding this new kid the Nats just took first overall... 570 foot home runs... graduated two years early... set Nevada college records for home runs at the age of 17... Shit, the kid's like Tim Tebow but with actual credentials! Hopefully the guy is what they think he is... because if he is, he'll be joining Strasburg in the Majors within the next two years.

   The Fakers now lead the Celtics 2-1... but on the plus side, at least Boston has two more at home before going back to that fucking cespool in LA.

  As for the Stanley Cup, the Blackhawks hold a 3-2 series lead going into tonight's game 6 in Philly. Hopefully they close it out tonight; if not, it's hard to think an experienced team like Philly is going to lose a game 7 to the kids in Chicago.

  As for the story of Tom Izzo reportedly being in the running for the Cavs job, I'd like to join the masses in saying "Don't do it". I couldn't care less about Michigan State... I just don't think that Izzo translates well to the NBA, being the demanding kind of coach he is and with the NBA being as much of a player's league as there is out there. If Izzo takes this job and goes to the NBA, you know that within two years, the man will be running back to the college ranks with his tail between his legs, just like Calapari, just like every other "major" college coach to test the NBA waters.

   And before I go, I'd like to go on a bit of a college football rant here. The question I have is, when the fuck did the Big XII conference become chopped liver? It seems like every time any other conference talks about expansion, there is a Big XII team being bantered about. First, the Big Ten wants Texas, Missourri or Nebraska, then it was the Pac 10 adding Texas, Oklahoma, and four or five other schools from the Big 12... now even the fucking Mountain West Conference is talking about nabbing Colorado! Really... the Mountain fucking West? Look, I understand the money end of it... but there HAS to be some sort of prestige factor in this, right? As far as I'm concerned, when you look at the strength of conference in college football today, the Big XII is second only to the SEC in terms of top to bottom strength. So why, all of a sudden are they just going to disband and hand all their teams off to conferences like the Big Ten, who haven't had a legitimate title contender since 2003, and the Pac 10, who haven't had a legitimate title contender since 2007? The simple answer here, as with just about anything else in life that makes little sense on the surface, is MONEY! The great "non-profit" of the NCAA always comes down to the same thing. For the very same reason we don't have a playoff in college football, we might very well loose perhaps the most prestigious conference in existance, the Big 12. So, once again I will close everything out with a round of "Fuck the NCAA".

  That's all for this week folks. Thanks, as always, for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Happy Hump Day, folks.

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   Well folks, it's been a hell of a bad Tuesday for yours truly. Won't go into the full details, but definatley the sort of thing that makes you realize how insignifigant the world of sports can be at times. All I can say is that losing what would have been a son or daughter earlier today, and seeing what my wife has gone through, I now know just how much tougher she is than I could ever imagine being.

   But as is the case with all other things that happen to us in life, the show must go on. There are rants to be made, discussions to start, and hopefully under the circumstances I can do an adequate job for this week.

  To start things out, I will channel my inner Johnny Carson to introduce today's first topic...

"Name a place that was safe on Monday, but no longer safe on Tuesday"

"Any public bathroom within 5 miles of Steelers camp"

"Hoyoooooooo"

  Yeah, that's right, Big Ben is back to business, on the field with the Pittsburgh Steelers after completing the NFL's behavioral evaluation and making Goddell happy enough to allow him to rejoin the team. Really all there is to this story; just wanted to use the Johnny Carson gag to lighten the mood a bit. Hell, if anything, you really have to hope for the sake of his ability to be classified as a human being and not just some shaved ape that Roethlisberger has actually learned something from this... and not just to "not have sex in the bathrooms anymore". For the sake of all Steelers fans out there, you have to hope so; mostly so they don't have to watch Dennis Dixon or Byron Leftwich run the show for more than four weeks next season.

  And as for Roethlisberger's former teammate, Mewelde Moore, showing up on ESPiN to talk junk about Roethlisberger as a teammate and a leader, how about a nice tall glass of shut the fuck up for you. When Joey Porter comes out as the class act who chose not to talk about what happened behind closed doors, you know it's a sad situation.

  And how about a long, loud round of "Happy Trails" for Dontrelle Willis, who was traded today by the Tigers to Arizona for minor league starter Billy Buckner Tuesday. To be honest, I never expected much out of Willis when we got him from Florida in the Cabrera deal. Hell, Cabrera WAS the deal, Willis was just a salary dump by the Marlins. But even today, even after Willis officially "didn't work out" for the Tigers, you still have to say the Tigers come out on top on this one. Seems like ever since the whole "trading John Smoltz" thing, everybody in Detroit looses a fuckin load in their pants as soon as a pitching prospect is traded... even when a legitimate superstar with the prime of his career ahead of him is involved in the trade and coming your way. So, to review the trade, what would you rather have... Andrew Miller and Cameron Maybin (who is FINALLY looking Major League ready this season) or Miguel Cabrera and the possibility of Dontrelle Willis regaining his '03-'05 form and contributing to your team?

   Fact is, Wills was damaged goods when we got him, so anything you get from him is a bonus. The dumbest part of that deal was when Dombrowski gave Willis an extension as soon as he walked in the door, despite his struggles the two seasons prior to arriving in Detroit. But now, with Willis gone and Buckner, another ex-Diamondback pitcher, in the fold, maybe we end up with another steal out of a trade this season. Hell, we already have Austin Jackson, Phil Coke, and even Max Scherzer made an appearance on Sunday (14 Ks in 5 2/3)... so even that deal starts looking like a steal. So long, D-Train... hopefully the guy can regain his old form somewhere. The kind of enthusiasm he brings to baseball is the sort of thing the game needs today.

   As for the Marlins, who are "celebrating" the perfect game thrown against them by Philly's Roy Halladay this weekend by hawking the unsold tickets to that game at face value, I say, if you can find someone stupid enough to pay face value for tickets to a game that was already played, more power to you! Call it a cash grab if you want... because that's exactly what it is! Look, last time I checked, baseball and professional sports was a business... and I was under the impression that in business, the main objective is to make money!

   As for Sacramento Kings rookie of the year winner Tyreke Evans and his lead foot, after being caught hitting Highway 80 in Cali at 100, I say big fuckin deal. The guy wasn't drunk, wasn't hopped up on anything, didn't hurt anyone and got his ticket. Besides, show me a room full of people that claim they WOULDN'T drive 100 if they thought they could get away with it, and I'll show you a room that'll fill with bullshit so fast you'll need a snorkel.

  And now, a quick list of things I could not give a fuck less about that are happening in the world of sports this week:

The French Open

Anything involving lacrosse, golf, or Danica Patrick

Cycling, or any dope fiend of a former cyclist who wants to air other people's dirty laundry in order to pick up some "ends"

the Yankees

The NBA Finals

NBA Free Agency

"The Pauper" LeBron James

Any record or milestone ARoids, Mrs.Manny Ramirez, or any of the other cheats still littering the MLB landscape either break or approach. How soon we all forget (at least the folks at ESPiN) that they are nothing but a bunch of fucking cheats.

   And before I go, I'd just like to say it's nice to look at the standings and see the Cincinatti Reds on top of the NL Central for the first time since their owner was a cantankerous, racist old bat named Marge whose dogs would shit all over the outfield. Best of luck to the Reds, and their all natural, feces free outfield.

  That's all for this week, folks. Thanks, as always for reading, and for any comments you leave on the way out.

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     Well folks, it’s Wednesday here at the Gab, and you all know what that means… another edition of Whip It Out Wednesday with the 38^th highest rated blogger on this site, IHM. Lot of things on tap this week, not the least of which is this week’s edition of “Brotherly Love”… this week, my brother and I will unveil our lists of top five players in sports today that we’d like to see retire. So, without further adieu, to lead things off, here is my top five list of players who should just freakin retire already.

1. Brett Favre- Hey, in 1996, I was a Brett Favre fan. The guy was a ton of fun to watch, and he played the game as if he loved it. But now, it’s 14 fucking years later, and your act is as tired as your knee, shoulder, ankle or whatever the fuck else is bothering you this week. Retire already, and enjoy being a grandpa.

        2.  Brett Favre- Again, everyone is tired of your shit. You fucked Green Bay over, or would have had they not drafted a backup plan in Aaron Rodgers, you screwed the Jets with your end of the season meltdown there, and then you throw a game losing pick to blow last year’s NFC Championship game. Go out like the loser you are, #4.

         3. Brett Favre- Yeah, there is a theme here….

          4. Brett Favre- Sad thing is, I actually put a lot of thought into this… and Brett Favre is the only douche out there that I really want to see retired and out of sight. And no, not a “Brett Favre” style retirement, you know, from a week after the season is over to the end of training camp… how about you do it for real, and save Rachel Nichols a month of camping on your lawn. She’s got other things to do, like opening beer bottles with her fuckin snaggletooth…

           5. Brett Favre- FUCK YOU, BRETT FAVRE!

      To start off, I’d like to wish the best of luck to Steve Yzerman, one of the true class acts of professional sports his entire career with the Red Wings as a player, who accepted the position of GM with the Tampa Bay Lightning on Tuesday afternoon. Yzerman spent his entire career with the Red Wings, even in the days of the “Dead Wings”… you know, before Detroit was “Hockeytown, USA” and you couldn’t GIVE AWAY a ticket! Hell, when I was in grade school, you could walk in there and get a free pair of tickets to that night’s game… honestly! And they usually went unused!

      But during his time here in Detroit, Yzerman was not only a great player, but a pillar of the community. He’ll be missed by all who cheer for the Winged Wheel. Hopefully in Tampa Bay’s front office, he can do for the Lightning what he did for the Red Wings as a player.

      Staying local, how about those whacky Michigan Wolverines? So Rich Rod gets busted having players practice too long, and now they’re going to go ahead and just self-impose some punishment… two years “probation”, reduced practice time and fewer assistant coaches for that practice time. The thing that gets me there is the fact that everybody associated with the University of Michigan is now crying “don’t associate the mistakes of our football program with those of our basketball program”. I hope the NCAA is listening, and I hope they tell them exactly what they deserve to hear; go fuck yourself. But honestly, with the way this team looks right now, even a postseason ban doesn’t do much to hurt them. What are they going to miss, a trip to the Your Name Here for enough Money Bowl? Truth is, they’ll be lucky to win seven games next year, and it would be more embarrassing for the university to go to a shit bowl game than it would to be banned from the postseason. Let them wallow in the mess they made by hiring that asshat Rodriguez in the first place.

      On a brighter note, the Stanley Cup Finals are ready to go, after the Flyers downed the Habs in five games Monday night. My prediction, Blackhawks in six games.

      My prediction for the NBA Finals… I won’t watch a single minute of a single game, no matter who is playing.

      As for the big news of the day Tuesday, how about the city of New York winning the 2014 bid to host the Super Bowl? Nice, right? Look, normally, I hate New York, any team from New York, and anything associated with it. But this idea really does intrigue me. An outdoor Super Bowl in the winter is music to my ears. No longer will the Super Bowl be attended by nothing but douchebag celebrities who could care less about football and are only there to be seen at the Super Bowl. There will no longer be a collection of fucksticks in attendance that you’d normally only see trolling the LA club scene. The biggest football game of the year will actually be about being a football game, not a fuckin corporate/Hollywood event. Only true football fans are going to sit in an outdoor stadium in February in New York City… no more shots of some semi-famous whore named Kardashian, some douchebag actor or performances by half-dead musicians at halftime. In fact, how about we just drop the whole halftime act anyhow… there aren’t any worthwhile bands or groups left to play a Super Bowl halftime… so just cut that bullshit out and focus on what a Super Bowl really should be about…. Football!

      How about a question of the week for ya… of the three sports nobody gives a fuck about that are all over the news these days, which one do you find to be the most pointless… soccer (World Cup), cycling (Landis fingering Lance), or lacrosse (Virginia’s murderous LAX team member)?

      And before I go, I would be remiss if I didn’t wish everyone a happy Memorial Day. This isn’t just another day off work, school, or anything else in your daily routine; it’s yet another fantastic opportunity to pay tribute to the men and women who every day lay their lives on the line so we can enjoy the sort of freedoms smattered all over the blog you just read! So, thank you to all those out there who served, and to the families of those who served our great nation. And while I’m at it, thank you to Fan82 and Old Harry’s baby girl, as well as both my grandfathers and my Uncle Jim, who is gone but never forgotten, for your service to our country.  Enjoy the holiday folks, and stay safe.

      That’s all for me this week, folks. Thanks, as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out.

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   Well folks, here we are again, another Hump Day here at the Gab, and another edition of Whip It Out Wednesday coming at ya. What was already going to be a bat shit crazy week around my house just got a little bit crazier. The whole fam-damily is fighting some kind of flu bug... lil' man is running around one minute, screaming bloody murder the next... and of course NOT letting me get any damn sleep in! The wife is fighting it while working the next two days. So what makes things even crazier? My brother in law is moving in today... so I get to lug a bed, a few dressers, the TV and a love seat into the house, periodically stopping to wipe the snot away from my nose. Hey, maybe IF the kid finally goes to bed tonight, I'll wake up in the morning feeling better, and it won't even be an issue... and maybe I'll also wake up tomorrow and read the headline "Lions Win the Super Bowl"...

  As for this week's edition of "Brotherly Love", we're gonna talk NBA Draft, with the lottery taking place Tuesday night. The New Jersey Nets had the most ping pong balls in the bin this year, but it was the Washington Wizards who came out of the vat with the #1 overall pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, most likely PG John Wall of Kentucky. Philly picks at #2, and the Nets will take the #3 player on the board. Gotta say, the whole thing stinks to me... the team that lost it's longtime owner last season, went through all the BS it went through with Gilbert Arenas (and Jarvis Crittenton, to a lesser degree), and that with the trades of Antwan Jamison and Caron Butler this year, accompanied by the likely release of Gilbert Arenas before the draft, has ZERO talent left on the roster, wins the NBA's Draft Lottery. Yet another David Stern "conspiracy" to mull over. Let's hope this one works out better than their last #1 overall choice, current Pistons backup center Kwame Brown.

  With the way the early first round of the draft shakes out after Tuesday night, it looks likely that Wall will go #1 to the Wizards, Turner will go #2 to the 76ers, and the Nets get to take whomever is left over after the two good players in this draft are gone. Aside from those two, I really don't see any other potential stars in the entire draft class. Maybe Cousins, but he'll be a guy that needs a year or two to develop. As for the Pistons, picking at #7 this year, I can only hope that teams pass on Cousins, enough so that he drops all the way to the seventh overall pick. The "experts" at ESPiN have the Pistons getting Al-Farouq Aminu of Wake Forrest with the 7th pick, which I would hope could possibly spell the end of Tayshaun Prince's reign of terror in Detroit. Hell, take a freakin shot in the dark and offer Prince and #7 up to the Nets, TWolves or Kings and try and get a worthwhile guy at 3,4 or 5 in Cousins or Wesley Johnson. Either way I can tell you this much... the Pistons will be back in the top ten of the draft again next season... and hopefully with a new GM running the show.

   Next, I'd like to offer up a nice big glass of shut the fuck up to Hanley Ramirez of the Florida Marlins. Look, it's bad enough you half assed running down a ball YOU booted into left field and allowed two runs to score, but now you're going to start taking shots at your manager's credibility for yanking your sorry ass out of that ballgame? Personally, I'd question his credibility if he HADN'T pulled out of that ballgame. Props to Fredi Gonzalez for not only having the stones to make that move after his piss poor effort Monday, but for benching his sorry ass on Tuesday as well. And saying your manager doesn't know what he's talking about because he wasn't a star in the Bigs is kind of like saying Sparky Anderson, Tony LaRussa, Joe Torre and all the other great managers who were either career minor leaguers or backups don't know what they're talking about either.

  Look, Han-Ram has skills, no doubt about it... hell, I'd be more than happy to see him in a Tigers uniform; but that kind of effort, then calling out YOUR manager on top of it is tool of the week material if you ask me. Let's see him come to Motown and try that shit with Jim Leyland. I'd bet dollars to Marlboros it'd go down a little somethin like this....

  As for LeBron and Calipari being a "package deal" wherever this circus of douchebaggery lands this summer, I say more power ot em. They really deserve each other. Calipari is probably the biggest piece of shit in college basketball, as evidenced by both of his former teams, Memphis and UMass dealing with sanctions for years after his departure, and likely the same will happen to Kentucky once this guy bolts from there to coach 'Bron. As for LeBron James, this bag of dicks just doesn't seem to give two shits about anything that doesn't increase his "brand value". Personally, I hope they end up in Chicago, so he can come back to Cleveland a few times a year and get a sound booing. These two tools deserve each other, almost as much as they deserve a Karl Malone-esque end to their careers... with ZERO rings.

    Now, lets play a little game called "Keeping up with the Johnsons", two guys holding out this offseason, two completely different stories, both in the AFC South. On one hand, you've got Chris Johnson of the Titans, who has been pissing and moaning to anyfuckingbody who would listen since last season was over about his contract. Yeah, you ran for 2,000 yards, and were probably the best big play man in all of football last season... but that is one season my man. Let's look at the body of work of another Johnson... Andre Johnson, WR for the Houston Texans. The guy has been the only guy in that organization's history to deliver on a weekly basis, and the man deserves to be paid like one of the top five receivers in the league. I'm not talkin QB money, which is what the other douchebag Johnson is looking for, but Andre Johnson has been good enough long enough to warrant a new deal. Pay the man, Houston, because if you won't, I can think of 31 other NFL teams who would love to take that burden off your hands!

  As for the NHL, looks like we're staring at a Philly-Chicago Stanley Cup Final, as both teams took commanding 2-0 leads in their conference final series Tuesday night. But, as all the Bruin fans around here can attest to, it ain't over til it's over. That being said, with the lack of offense the Canadiens have shown through two games, and with the level the Blackhawks have played at on the road in the first two games of their series, I don't see things shaking out any other way. Should be a hell of a series if it actually does come to fruition.

  But all is not lost for the Bostonians here at the Gab... the Celtics have taken a 2-0 lead over the Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals. Sure, it sets up ANOTHER Lakers-Celtics NBA Finals, but at least this time I can actually have someone to root for... namely whoever ISN'T from LA. And as for the Celtics, Rondo has really become the man for this team. Anymore, it's Rondo and the "supporting three". The guy is just playing out of his head, hopefully a good sign for the next team to nab a Kentucky point guard in the NBA draft...

   And before I go, mostly so I have an excuse to watch it again tomorrow, I'm gonna go ahead and post a music video I've been watching just about every day for the past week in a row. Yeah, it's copying off Fan...and Beeze... but here is my music pick of the week; The Ride by David Allen Coe.

   And that'll bring things to a close this week ladies and gents. As for me, I'm off to try and get a little sleep in before my day of fun begins. Thanks as always for reading, and for any comments you leave on the way out. Happy Hump Day, Gabbers.

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    That one's for you, Fan!

      Hello folks, and welcome to yet another addition to the Whip It Out Wednesday library. Due to the unfortunate passing of Ernie Harwell last week, the Brotherly Love segment was passed up last week in lieu of our own personal tributes to the man, but this week, we’re returning to normal form. This time around, we’ll debate the recent changes made to the MLB All-Star game. My brother, AverageFanDetroit, will be taking the “Pro” side of the debate, and I will be holding down the “Con” side.

            To begin, I would like to say that I am not full against the changes being made to the game. Hell, I don’t want to see the epic matchup of Tim Lincecum striking out some hapless AL pitcher… or the ever popular All-Star bunt… and adding another position player is fine by me. The reason I am taking a “Con” stance on this is because of who made the changes, the biggest douchebag commissioner in sports this side of Gary Bettman… Mr. Bud Selig. Look, we all know why all the changes are happening to All-Star games in the past few years… it all goes back to that little penis with a bowtie on making the decision to call the ’02 All-Star game after 11 innings. Here’s an idea on how to improve the All-Star game, Bud… resign, you fuckstick. Not only does that make the All-Star game respectable, but it might be a step in the right direction of making the sport respectable again as well.

            Here’s an even better idea you jag off… quit with the home field advantage at the World Series bullshit already. Let’s face it, that has to be the stupidest fucking idea going in the world of sports today. And the “This one counts” slogan… what the fuck are you trying to say with that? Are you trying to tell me that the All-Star game counts, but the other 162 games that people are dropping their hard-earned cash on don’t? So if some shithouse team from the AL Central or NL West ekes into the playoffs with a barely .500 record, the other team that won 90+ games gets fucked over because their side lost the All-Star game? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again now… that is Mill-tarded!

    On to other news… and where better to start than Seattle. Seems like outside of Ichiro, the M’s can’t catch a break with their outfield. We all know Milton Bradley is a fuckin 200+ pound bag of douche… but now you’re having issues with Jr. Griffey? The guy who is supposed to hold your clubhouse together? Looks like “The Kid” isn’t a kid anymore. Reports are that when M’s manager Don Wakamatsu called on Griffey Jr. to pinch hit in the 7^th inning on Saturday, but Griffey was nowhere to be found! A teammate reportedly found him in the clubhouse, where he had gone in the 5^th inning to retrieve a jacket, asleep in a chair!

            In a much better story, props to the Tigers for their classy presentation for Ernie Harwell Monday night, the first home game since the broadcast legend’s passing last Tuesday night. For the rest of the year, a flag reading EH will fly in the outfield at Comerica Park. In addition to the great move there, it was great to see so many other legends of Detroit baseball come out to be a part of the ceremony, including Harwell’s former broadcast partner Al Kaline.

            And I would be remiss if I didn’t hand out some props to A’s pitcher Dallas Braden, who threw a perfect game on Mother’s Day. Even better, he was able to celebrate with his grandma on field after the game. Great story for a great kid, whose only claim to fame before this was calling out Alex Rodriguez for trotting across his mound a few weeks ago. The only way this guy gets any higher on my list of favorite players right now, plunk AFraud next time you play him. In fact, hit him in the jaw, the eye socket, something that puts him out a while, and gets the douches at ESPiN off his nuts for a while. THEN, the guy is my favorite player in baseball, hands down!

            As for the NBA, way to show up Atlanta… the Hawks got swept by the Magic in their Eastern Conference Semifinals series… and were beaten by an average of 25 points a game! Look, I know, the Jazz got swept by the Lakers, too, but at least they put up some form of a fight. There wasn’t a single game the Hawks had a chance of winning in this series… and three of the four they might as well not have shown up for! Just goes to show you how much worse the NBA is right now than the NHL… even if an NHL team gets beaten handily in a series, you know they’re at least trying!

            Speaking of not trying… how about the efforts of “MVP” LeBron James Tuesday night in the Cavs 120-88 game 5 loss to the Celtics? The whole game, the guy is just off in his own little world… he played about as well as he did the last four games of the regular season. As much of a douchebag as I thought this guy was before the playoffs started, it’s even more now. When you’re out there claiming to be the best in the world at what you do, you don’t take a night off like that. Somebody on the Cavs had better give this guy a wake-up call, or, like so many other opportunities of a championship in Cleveland before, this one will slip away. The Celtics might not be the team they were two years ago when they won an NBA championship handily, but they’re nobody to take lightly either. “The King” had better step up his game if he wants a ring this year… and if he actually wants to be considered one of the best in NBA history.

            As for the much better, much more entertaining NHL playoffs, the Blackhawks are movin on up to the Western Conference Finals after winning game 6 of the semis over Vancouver. No all-Canada Stanley Cup finals this year, folks, but this should be a nice series between Chicago and San Jose. And Douglas Murray had better not try any of his head-hunting shit in this one… there are plenty of cats on the Blackhawk side that will be more than willing to dish out a little retribution if he does.

            Out East, the Pens and Habs will face off in Game 7 of their series tonight, as will the Bruins and Flyers (although it will only be Game 6). As hard as it is to consider the Canadiens underdogs in any series in NHL history, given the lavish hockey history of that organization, I will sure as hell be pulling for them tomorrow night. Anything that keeps that douchebag Sidney Crosby’s hands off the Cup… not to mention his jerk off friends, Matt Cooke and Evangi Malkin. If the Pens DO manage to win tonight, I hope Boston gets a shot at them in the Conference Finals… a little poetic justice in knocking the Pens out for the Bruins would be nice payback for Matt Cooke’s cheap shot on Bruins star Mark Savard a month ago.

          How about a TOTW nomination for Redskins' DT Albert Haynesworth. Seems fat Albert doesn't want to play where Mike Shannahan wants to try playing him in the new defensive scheme in town, so now Haynesworth and his 100 million dollar contract aren't showing up to mini camps as part of the childish pouting. Look fuckbag, they're not asking you to do anything out of line... hell, not even anything much different than what you already do. If you're making that kind of cheddar to play a game, shut the fuck up, show up for mini camps, and do everything you possibly can to repay the team that has already clearly overpaid you.

            And finally, I’d like to commend the AP NFL voters for taking a stand against Texans’ linebacker Brain Cushing and his failed drug tests. I don’t care who wins the award on the re-vote… I’m just glad to see at least ONE sport has the integrity to correct their mistakes, and to right some wrongs… still reading, Bud?

            That’s all for me this week folks. Thanks, as always, for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Happy Hump Day, Gabbers!

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