Hello ladies and gents, and welcome to this week's Sexy Action Sports Saturday with your old pal, IHM.

  This week's big story that will somehow continue to keep the Lakers and Kobe Bryant in the spotlight even though neither has been relevant in over a month; how about Phil Jackson's new book? In the book, he makes a comparison between Kobe and Michael Jordan, and in making the comparison basically says that he'd take Jordan over Kobe (who the fuck wouldn't?) and that Jordan was a better leader. That is the short version of it. Really, he didn't say anything that hasn't already been said a million times when people actually do compare Jordan and Bryant. Honestly, I don't think it's even a close call... Jordan was a leader on all 6 championship teams he played for... Kobe... not so much. Kobe was Scottie Pippen for the first few he won with Shaq at his side, until later on in his career when he won one on his own (without Shaq anyhow). While Kobe was a major factor in winning those championships, Jordan was the man on every title team he played for.

  Jackson also said that Jordan was a better, more focused defender than Bryant was. Again, just speaking the truth. Jordan would shut the guy across from him down, and back before the league was as watered down as it is today. Not something you can exactly blame on Kobe, but it's just the facts... Jordan has always been a better defensive player than Kobe Bryant, and every bit as good of an offensive player as well.

  So, to recap, Jordan was the superior defender, leader, and at the very least just as good on the offensive end of the floor. Now, what the hell were we arguing about again?

  The real question becomes this: how do we not look at Phil Jackson and name him as the most overrated coach in the history of sports? Yes, he won 11 championships as a head coach in the NBA. 6 with the Bulls, 5 with the Lakers. 6 of them came with Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest player in NBA history, on his team. In an 8-year span, the only time Jackson did not win a championship were the two years MJ was failing to hit the curve ball in Birmingham, Alabama. So MJ moves on after the second three-peat, and Phil moves on as well. Next stop, LA. Shaquille O'Neal is the best big man in the game, Kobe Bryant gives him a damn good wing player to compliment Shaq. Once again, two great basketball players, leads to four more championship rings to Phil. A few years later, Kobe runs Shaq out of town after they lose the NBA Finals to the Pistons in '04. Phil gets a big man to pair with Kobe (Gasol), the Lakers pick up one more ring.

  The question is this; is Phil Jackson the greatest coach in NBA history... or is he simply the beneficiary of having coached three of the greatest players in modern NBA history in MJ, Kobe, and Shaq? If his "triangle offense" were so effective, where are all the copycats? We all know that the world of sports is filled with copycats... if something new starts to work, other teams will follow suit quickly. Just look at all the NFL teams getting out of the 3-4 now as quickly as they jumped into it. I haven't seen one example of teams trying to copy what Phil Jackson has done in his career... with the exception of the Miami Heat... who have copied one aspect of Phil Jackson's success story... collecting the most superstars allowed under the cap and trying to win it all that way.

  My answer is yes, Phil Jackson is an overrated, egotistical, bag of ass. With all the "zen master" horse shit and book deals since his career ended, it's no wonder the guy has an inflated ego. Especially since there hasn't been a single NBA offseason go by where the guy hasn't been contacted by somebody to either "consult" or just to come back to coach. Notice, though, the last two jobs this guy took, there were superstars in place already. So, if your team is talking about bringing in Phil Jackson this offseason, yet you have nothing to offer him in the way of being a championship-ready... just ignore the rumors. If the players aren't there, he won't be there, either. Now if the Heat were to call on the other hand... I'm sure he'd break a hip tripping over a yoga mat trying to answer that call!

  The next question I have this week is, what the hell is up with Justin Verlander? Over his last two starts, last Saturday against Cleveland and Thursday against Texas, he has not been himself. In both starts, he walked a run in with the bases loaded... he did it twice in the start Thursday night against Texas. Before these last two starts, he had an ERA of under 2. With these two starts added, he's now up over 3 for the year. The question is, is this just an aberration, or is this a sign that something is actually wrong with the Tigers' ace? Unfortunately, if you ask me, this is one of those wait and see type of issues. Based on his track record, Verlander has never spent any extended amount of time hurt... so if it is an injury it's just a matter of waiting it out. If this is something mechanical, the pitching coach should be fired immediately... and then drug outside somewhere and shot!

  My final question of the week... are you as tired as I am of seeing celebrities/athletes going to the prom with freaking high school kids? I mean look, it's cute when a kid has a disability and just wants to meet that person. But now you have perfectly fine, normal kids just trying to get on TV and asking famous people to the prom with them. Case in point, Dwayne Wade of the Heat just went to the prom with some 17-year old girl in Florida somewhere... nothing wrong with the girl... apparently she just wanted to get on TV. Earlier in the year, some nerdy fuck from NY somewhere asked Kate Upton to go to prom with him. I say these little pricks should be stuck getting a date to the prom the same way we all had to... go awkwardly up to some girl in your school and mumble the question, risking embarrassment and humiliation in front of all of your peers. If you aren't strong enough to pull that off, God help you when you little fucks get into the real world!

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   Hello folks and welcome to this week’s edition of Sexy Action Sports Saturday with your old pal IHM.

   This week, we heard a little something out of Redskins owner Daniel Snyder when he came out and publicly stated the team would ‘never’ change its name. Over the years, we’ve been up in arms about quite a few name changes here at the Gab. The most recent and notable was the University of South Dakota Fighting Sioux changing their name despite the support of the Sioux nation. But, with the name “Redskins” you are talking about a whole new ballgame. This name isn’t a tribute to proud warriors who once faced off with what equated with invaders attempting to take their land and way of life away from them… this is a reference to skin color that would with any other race have caused a fucking riot and boycott of all things NFL to this point. Hell, if someone named a team the “Detroit Darkskins”, there would be a public outrage on an international stage. So why is it still okay for the Washington Redskins to continue to exist? Personally, I say it is time for a change, despite the objections of owner Daniel Snyder, and I believe the NFL is going to have to force the issue in order to save face. What say you, Gabitants? Is it about damn time the league steps in and does something to change what is arguably the most offensive team name in the history of professional sports in the year 2013?

   The Lions agreed to terms with Ziggy Ansah today, the final of their 9 2013 draft picks to sign. With his signing, the Lions are ready to roll into camp with a full house. Unfortunately, that means they will have Ziggy Ansah under contract for five years now! Hopefully I am wrong here, but I still say the guy is out of football in two years. Oh, and more great news as Darius Slay, the second round corner, had surgery to repair his meniscus this week, so he’ll miss rookie camp. All right, because we know Mayhew has a great history of taking guys with injury history… right Jhavid Best? Ryan Broyles? Titus Young? Mikkeal Leshoure?

   At least one Lion is upbeat this offseason, as DT Nick Fairley has predicted the Lions will go to the Super Bowl this year. If there were next day, mandated drug tests for saying stupid shit, you’d better bet I’d have his ass on a plane somewhere to get one done after saying that. Not that I’m mad at the guy for dreaming or anything… but history isn’t exactly on their side, either. The only team to go from 4 wins to a Super Bowl win in NFL history was the 1999 St.Louis Rams… and let’s face it, the Rams we ain’t, despite Bill Polian’s insistence.

   Last year at this time, Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera was having a solid year with 7 homers, 27 RBI and hitting around .285. This year after the same amount of games, he’s at 40 RBI, same seven home run total, and hitting nearly a hundred points higher at .382. As it sits now, he leads in 2/3 Triple Crown categories, and is four home runs behind AL leader Mark Reynolds of Cleveland.

  Speaking of Cleveland, aside from Friday night, they’ve been playing some damn good ball of late. The aforementioned Reynolds has provided some nice pop with 11 HR/30 RBI, and is even hitting a respectable .283. Ryan Rayburn hit .171 with 1 HR/12 RBI all of last year (205 ABs) with the Tigers. This year with Cleveland, he’s hitting .329 with 4 HRs and 11 RBI. Even spring training invite Scott Kazmir, a forgotten former All-Star pitcher with the Rays, is contributing two wins so far with three straight quality starts. Right now, the Tigers, Indians, Royals and Twins are all within three games of the AL Central lead, with the White Sox in the cellar and 5.5 back.

  Can someone please get David Ortiz to shut the fuck up? My God… you want to know why people think you cheated and continue to cheat to this day? Look at your baseball card from back when you were a Minnesota Twin, hitting .260 or so with a career high of 20 home runs to, in 2003 when you used those “vitamins”, hitting 30 home runs and having 100 RBI. The very next year was your first 40 home run season. You followed that up with two more, then the drug testing program you “support” kicked in and you haven’t topped 40 home runs since. As for the “prejudice” remark in regards to the Boston writer mentioning your Dominican roots, it’s just reality pal. Look at how many former Dominican players have been busted cheating, including a few of them that were on the same 2003 report you were. It’s not prejudice; it’s more so being a realist.

  Before I call it a week, I wanted to take a moment and give a warning to all of you out there planning on a relaxing, care free weekend. Maybe you plan on heading to a lake, pond, or natural setting. Well, I give you this warning: beware of beavers. That's right, a dolphin will rape you, but a beaver will fucking kill you! A man in Belarus was bitten by an angry beaver, severing his femoral artery and causing him to bleed to death before he could get to help. Here is the terrifying video proof that nothing will ruin your weekend quicker than an angry beaver:

  That’s all I’ve got for the week, folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers.

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  Well folks, it’s that special time of the week once again… time to welcome that irritable prick we all so affectionately call IHM back into your ear for another weekend with this week’s Sexy Action Sports Saturday.

  There’ve been a few major sports stories this week, but in order to avoid the whole “ad nausea” thing and keep everybody happy, I’ll steer clear of the old shit! All that seems to do is cause trouble around these parts anyhow…

  Focusing on the here and now, not sure if anybody was aware of this or not… but apparently Floyd Mayweather Jr. has a fight tonight… scheduled to defend his title against Robert Guerrero. Honestly, I don’t know what is more disgusting, the fact that this guy isn’t in prison still, or the fact that this guy was the highest paid athlete in the world last year at $85,000,000. That’s right, 85 million in 2012, for fighting two fucking times and continuing to duck his biggest potential competitor, Manny Pacquaio. Hell, even this Guerrero cat stands to make $3 mill, plus a cut of PPV profits, win or lose. Where the fuck do I sign up? Mayweather Jr., conversely, stands to pick up a $32 million dollar purse plus his share of PPV profits. My question is how the fuck is that even possible? The claim is that there will be nearly one million PPV sales for this fight. Aside from the obvious bars buying it to play on a Saturday night, I don’t know of anyone in their right mind willing to shell out $80 bucks to watch a two round fight. Even if it “goes the distance”… who gives a shit. It’s welterweight. I’ve said it a million times before, and I’ll say it again, boxing stays buried until it gets a legitimate heavyweight division again.

   Personally, I wouldn’t watch this fight if it came on free TV, basic cable, or anything else I didn’t have to pay for, much less shell out outrageous amounts for the PPV. I haven’t heard any buzz about this fight aside from a couple PPV ads on TV here and there… nobody talking about it, nobody making side bets about it like people used to when Tyson (or as I’d imagine Ali) had an upcoming title defense. So how the hell is Mayweather making all this money? I guess I’ll never get it… but I sure as hell wouldn’t pay this tool $32 million to show up and fight, and wouldn’t pay the stiff he’s going to KO another three million on top of it. What an absolute joke the world of boxing is today, and it’s sad to see.

  In the NBA, the four game sixes that worldwide leader spent all day hyping wound up disappointing, as each team holding a 3-2 lead in their series came away a winner, ending the series and any hopes for a game seven.  Tonight, the NBA gets it’s only game seven of the first round as the Bulls and Nets square off in Brooklyn. The Bulls are up against a laundry list of injuries while the Nets square off against their season-long foe… mediocrity.  Who wins… more like who cares, winner moves on to lose to the Heat in four or five games.

     If the NFL Draft gave us one thing, it gave us the entertainment of watching the talking heads freak the fuck out because none of the “star players” were taken in the first round. Well, seems that the reason behind one of them is becoming a lot clearer with the recent revelations about Jets QB Geno Smith on his draft night. Seems Geno responded to his not being drafted in the first round by firing his agents and threatening to leave the draft. One scout has said “He’s going to have a tough time in New York. Right now, he’s coming off as a spoiled, pampered brat!”  There are also reports that Smith spent time during visits with teams on his phone, dicking around on twitter and facebook and texting friends during valuable meeting time with team representatives. Well dumb ass, you took about a 3-4 million dollar per year pay cut from dropping out of the first round… so hope seeing what your pal Dave had for fucking lunch was worth it!

   We all pay some form of attention to the NFL Draft, whether you’re like me and the Beeze and are simply waiting for the team you happen to root for to shit the bed, or like Qwazier or any of the Boston boys and watching your team make solid pick after solid pick… we’re all watching in one way or another. But, a lot of what goes unnoticed is what happens after the fourth round or so. To wrap things up this week, I’m going to put out a list of picks made after round five that I think will become steals from this year’s draft.

1. Ryan Swope, WR, Texas A&M. Drafted by the Cardinals. The guy has good size and great speed at WR, not exactly sure how and why he dropped to the 6^th round. I DO know the Lions passed on him for Corey Fuller out of Virginia Tech. Fucking Lions. Cards get a good one here.
2. Kenjon Barner, RB, Oregon. Drafted by the Carolina Panthers, Barner might have trouble cracking the depth chart here. But, he could become a valued trade piece for the Panthers and fetch much higher than his 6^th round selection if he shows some things during the preseason another team likes.
3. Bacarri Rambo, S, Georgia. Drafted by Washington. One of the many players I cursed loudly about when the Lions used a 5^th rounder on a punter. Worst case scenario, he’s a beast on special teams… best case scenario; he develops into a starting NFL Safety.
4. Theo Riddick, RB, Notre Dame. Drafted by Detroit. One of the three picks I agreed with in the entire Lions draft this year. Riddick gives you versatility as a back, slot receiver, and special teams stud.
5. Charles Johnson, WR, Grand Valley State (MI). Drafted by Green Bay. The Packers took a flier in the 7^th round on a guy who might just end up being their next Greg Jennings. Good size, decent speed, runs a good route.
6. Jordan Poyer, CB, Oregon State. Drafted by Philadelphia. Decent sized corner whose 40-time did him a lot of harm at the combine. Probably should have been a 4-5^th rounder. Instead, Philly might just have a steal here.
7. Steve Beauharnais, LB, Rutgers. Drafted by New England. Beauharnais spent about three rounds at the top of Kiper’s “Big Board”… that aside, he looked pretty good the few times I saw Rutgers last year, and I thought he’d be off the board earlier than that. The Pats stuck with their Rutgers love fest in this draft, though, and might have landed one of the biggest steals.
8. Reid Fragel, T, Ohio State. Drafted by Cincinnati. The Bengals took a chance on a local boy who I cursed the Lions out loud for not taking over Williams out of Alabama. Ah, fuck it, not like Stafford needs protection or anything. Who needs him anyhow.
9. Kevin Reddick, LB, North Carolina. UFA, signed by New Orleans. Somehow this guy went undrafted, and the Saints were the first to get him under contract. Usually works out better for the UFA’s anyhow… they actually end up getting more money than a 7^th round pick more often than not.
10. Da’Rick Rogers, WR, Tennessee. UFA, signed by Buffalo. The Bills probably got a 3^rd or 4^th round talent here a day after the draft. He has a history of drug-related offenses, though, so he might not have the brains to stick in the league.
11. Kwame Geathers, DT, Georgia. UFA, signed with San Diego. The Chargers got a 6’5” beefcake to plug up the middle by signing Geathers after the draft was over. If this guy ever gets a work ethic to match his massive size, he’ll be a real steal.
12. Chase Thomas, LB, Stanford. UFA, signed with New Orleans. The Saints were on top of the undrafted linebackers the day after the draft, getting both Thomas and Reddick. With his pass rushing skills and the amount of leadership he showed during his career at Stanford, I am just amazed he didn’t have his name called during the draft.

Anybody you’d like to add to that list? Well, let me know in the comments section below.

As for me, that’s all I’ve got for this week folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend Gabbers.

     My apologies to those of you who do not dig on Slayer, but one of the finest guitarists in the metal world passed away this week, Mr. Jeff Hanneman. RIP to yet another God of metal.

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