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Fry Day Blog: A Trip to the Produce Section...
Category: Daily Blog 2.0

 

Welcome to The Fry Day Blog

Today dvt fries onion growers,

who TURNIP their noses at him...

 

 

So...

There I am in the produce section the other day...

I just happen to be walking by the onions...

I never buy onions...

I don't even look at the onions...

But this time...

By some freak of nature...

I happened to look at the onions...

As I was walking by...

No reason to stop...

At least not until I saw the onion sign...

And then I did a double-take...

The onion sign wasn't an onion sign...

It said...

"TURNIPS"...

TURNIPS???

What in the world is a turnip sign doing at the onion display???

That makes no sense whatsoever...

So I asked the clerk...

 

 

dvt: Sir...

clerk: Yes, sir...

d: These are onions, right?

c: Well...

d: Well, why does the sign say turnips???

c: It's a long story...

d: I've got plenty of time for this one...

c: You see, the price of onions has been down lately...

d: Yes...

c: And the price of turnips has been up lately...

d: I have never had the pleasure of pricing turnips before...

c: Trust me...

d: You're the turnip expert...

c: So the onion growers felt that it would be to their advantage...

d: Yes...

c:  ...if they were to call onions "turnips" just for the time being...

d: Just for the time being???

c: Until the price goes back up...

d: And then the onions become onions again...

c: Exactly. You learn quickly...

d: So let me get this straight...

 

 

"Onions growers aren't calling onions what they really are...

Because it's to their advantage to call the onions something else... 

Until it's to their advantage to call them onions again..."

 

 

c: Precisely...

d: So I guess you could say that the onions went through a process of ...

 

 

"DECERTIFICATION..."

 

 

c: You got it...

d: Hmmmm...

c: And once the price of onions goes back up...

 

 

"RECERTIFICATION..."

 

 

c: And then when the price declines again...

 

 

"DECERTIFICATION..."

 

 

c: And then back up...

 

 

"RECERTIFICATION..."

 

 

c: You catch on quickly...

d: I have to. I follow sports...

 

 

"SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT...

 

TO GET WHAT YOU WANT...

 

YOU HAVE TO DECERTIFY...

 

THEN ONCE YOU'VE GOTTEN WHAT YOU WANTED...

 

THEN YOU RECERTIFY...

 

UNTIL IT'S TIME AGAIN TO DECERTIFY..."

 

 

c: Perfect...

 

 

"SO IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE WHAT YOU REALLY ARE...

JUST AS LONG AS IT WORKS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE..."

 
 
 
c: Yep...
 
d: I like that...
 
 
 
 
"SO THAT'S WAY IT WORKS IN THE WORLD OF ONIONS..."
 
(AND NFL PLAYERS' UNIONS TOO...)

 

 

 

dvt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PHOTO

 http://www.crunchgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/sin-city-death-row-marv-electric-chair-figure.jpg

http://static.baseballtoaster.com/blogs/u/bronxbanter/2008/1024/0002/Fresh_Onions_640.jpg

http://rlv.zcache.com/i_love_turnips_mug-p1685909809966533092otmb_400.jpg

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