Well, no intro this week, folks, just anger… pure, unadulterated anger! That’s right, it’s draft season… and apparently hate-crime season as well. And, both activities have me seeing red this week.
We’ll start out with the NFL Draft, where, true to form, the Detroit Lions shit the bed with all three picks in the first three rounds. Apparently the ghost of Matt Millen still lurks somewhere within the bowels of Lions HQ in Allen Park… because Martin Mayhew is at the very least staying true to his formula of ignoring glaring holes on his roster and taking guys that make zero sense with picks that can be the difference between an 8-8 team and a playoff team.
Here is one theory of mine as to what the hell might have happened to Martin Mayhew prior to the draft:
That’s right… Martin Mayhew must have been driving along, ran down Matt Millen, and Millen’s soul entered Mayhew’s body, and he proceeded with the draft as usual. That’s right folks… THAT’S MY BLACK GM!
Another theory: Calvin Johnson DID win the Madden cover this week… and the jinx that comes with it. Is this an insurance policy against his impending injury/arrest/turning into a douchebag?
Of course, there is ALWAYS the theory that the Lions are just going to attempt to outscore the Packers, Bears, Vikings, and everybody else on the schedule by adding more receiving threats. At this point, I’m grabbing at fucking straws folks.
But in all seriousness, the first round pick didn’t bother me quite as much. Riley Reiff was a guy that was supposed to be a top ten pick, certainly a top ten talent, and helps transition the offensive line into the future. Let’s face it, Backus isn’t the greatest left tackle in the league, and he isn’t getting any younger. Personally, I would’ve addressed a defensive need there, a corner, safety, DE, linebacker… something else, but I can deal with getting premium talent at the #23 spot in the first round.
But last night, when the #54 pick rolled around, I expected to hear Barry Sanders say “with the 54th pick in the 2012 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select cornerback (fill in name here).” Instead, I hear “wide receiver”… at that point, everything kind of went dark. Yeah, I think I might have had a minor aneurysm at that point… not exactly sure. When I came to, I realized that not only had we wasted a second rounder on a receiver, but on a 5’10” slot receiver with a bad ACL… who probably would have been there in the third round.
Evidently, being torched by Drew Brees and MATT FUCKING FLYNN over the last two weeks of your season to the tune of 1,000 yards and 10 passing TDs, in two games mind you, was not enough of a wake-up call for the Lions’ brass. Apparently we just have to watch this shit for another season… maybe next year we’ll get to addressing that little situation… you know, needing two starting cornerbacks. Oh yeah, we got a corner in the third round… with Brandon Boykin on the board, a first-round graded corner from Georgia, who faced premium SEC competition on a weekly basis… we snagged Dwight Bentley out of Louisiana-Lafyette… because we all know the Sun Belt conference is a hotbed for NFL talent.
What scares me even more, the Packers, Bears and Vikings have all made major strides through trades, free agency, and the draft, and all three have improved a great deal. Namely the Bears, who added Brandon Marshall via trade and drafted Jeffery Alshon, one of my favorite receivers in this year’s draft. It’ll be GREAT to see those guys torching the Lions’ secondary twice a year for the next five or so years.
At this point, it really doesn’t matter what the Lions do the rest of the draft… their chance to add two starters in the defensive backfield went by the wayside in the 2nd and 3rd rounds. Hopefully I’m wrong about this kid out of ULL… but somehow I think we’ll be seeing him on a practice squad roster within three years. This team has not only not improved, they’ve taken a step back. If they finish 8-8 this year, I’ll be amazed.
This was shaping up to be a GREAT week for the Tigers, too. Early in the week, the Tigers cut ties with much maligned second baseman Brandon Inge, sending his whining, non-hitting ass packing in a move that really came about a year and a half too late. Of course, this was much to the shagrin of all the downriver skanks across the southeastern Michigan area… but there’s plenty of dirty white boys left on the roster for you gals to follow. How about Brennan Boesch, Ryan Rayburn (who is hopefully next in line to get his ass booted out of here), Justin Verlander… hell, Verlander might be a better hitter at this point than Inge is. But Inge being GONE finally got rid of the non-stop discussion, the non-stop bitching every time his name appeared on Leyland’s lineup card. Things were looking up. Sure, the team is playing like shit, but Inge was gone.
Then, Thursday night, the Tigers hit the Big Apple… and evidently at around 3 AM, outfielder Delmon Young got into an altercation outside the team hotel, which led to his arrest on aggravated harassment and hate-crime charges. The story is, good ol’ DY got piss drunk, pushed a man to the ground, and started off on an anti-semetic rant including shouting “FUCKING JEWS, FUCKING JEWS” repeatedly. A real shock… never saw this coming… not like Delmon has had any issues in the past… (video of Delmon Young throwing bat at ump)
Yeah, I say cut this fucking bum loose too, and throw somebody else into his lineup spot to NOT HIT.
As for Ron Artest… he got off easy. Seven games ain’t shit for a blatant elbow to the head of James Hardin. Let that be LeBron or Wade, and his ass is out of the league. And for blaming the media for the spot he’s in, Ron Artest, you are the decided winner of this week’s shut the fuck up award.
And Rosie O'Donnell... nobody cares what you think about ANYTHING you washed up old gash.
That’s all I’ve got this week gang. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Hope your teams are doing better than mine this week!