Hello folks and welcome to this week’s edition of Sexy Action Sports Saturday with your old pal IHM.

   This week, we heard a little something out of Redskins owner Daniel Snyder when he came out and publicly stated the team would ‘never’ change its name. Over the years, we’ve been up in arms about quite a few name changes here at the Gab. The most recent and notable was the University of South Dakota Fighting Sioux changing their name despite the support of the Sioux nation. But, with the name “Redskins” you are talking about a whole new ballgame. This name isn’t a tribute to proud warriors who once faced off with what equated with invaders attempting to take their land and way of life away from them… this is a reference to skin color that would with any other race have caused a fucking riot and boycott of all things NFL to this point. Hell, if someone named a team the “Detroit Darkskins”, there would be a public outrage on an international stage. So why is it still okay for the Washington Redskins to continue to exist? Personally, I say it is time for a change, despite the objections of owner Daniel Snyder, and I believe the NFL is going to have to force the issue in order to save face. What say you, Gabitants? Is it about damn time the league steps in and does something to change what is arguably the most offensive team name in the history of professional sports in the year 2013?

   The Lions agreed to terms with Ziggy Ansah today, the final of their 9 2013 draft picks to sign. With his signing, the Lions are ready to roll into camp with a full house. Unfortunately, that means they will have Ziggy Ansah under contract for five years now! Hopefully I am wrong here, but I still say the guy is out of football in two years. Oh, and more great news as Darius Slay, the second round corner, had surgery to repair his meniscus this week, so he’ll miss rookie camp. All right, because we know Mayhew has a great history of taking guys with injury history… right Jhavid Best? Ryan Broyles? Titus Young? Mikkeal Leshoure?

   At least one Lion is upbeat this offseason, as DT Nick Fairley has predicted the Lions will go to the Super Bowl this year. If there were next day, mandated drug tests for saying stupid shit, you’d better bet I’d have his ass on a plane somewhere to get one done after saying that. Not that I’m mad at the guy for dreaming or anything… but history isn’t exactly on their side, either. The only team to go from 4 wins to a Super Bowl win in NFL history was the 1999 St.Louis Rams… and let’s face it, the Rams we ain’t, despite Bill Polian’s insistence.

   Last year at this time, Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera was having a solid year with 7 homers, 27 RBI and hitting around .285. This year after the same amount of games, he’s at 40 RBI, same seven home run total, and hitting nearly a hundred points higher at .382. As it sits now, he leads in 2/3 Triple Crown categories, and is four home runs behind AL leader Mark Reynolds of Cleveland.

  Speaking of Cleveland, aside from Friday night, they’ve been playing some damn good ball of late. The aforementioned Reynolds has provided some nice pop with 11 HR/30 RBI, and is even hitting a respectable .283. Ryan Rayburn hit .171 with 1 HR/12 RBI all of last year (205 ABs) with the Tigers. This year with Cleveland, he’s hitting .329 with 4 HRs and 11 RBI. Even spring training invite Scott Kazmir, a forgotten former All-Star pitcher with the Rays, is contributing two wins so far with three straight quality starts. Right now, the Tigers, Indians, Royals and Twins are all within three games of the AL Central lead, with the White Sox in the cellar and 5.5 back.

  Can someone please get David Ortiz to shut the fuck up? My God… you want to know why people think you cheated and continue to cheat to this day? Look at your baseball card from back when you were a Minnesota Twin, hitting .260 or so with a career high of 20 home runs to, in 2003 when you used those “vitamins”, hitting 30 home runs and having 100 RBI. The very next year was your first 40 home run season. You followed that up with two more, then the drug testing program you “support” kicked in and you haven’t topped 40 home runs since. As for the “prejudice” remark in regards to the Boston writer mentioning your Dominican roots, it’s just reality pal. Look at how many former Dominican players have been busted cheating, including a few of them that were on the same 2003 report you were. It’s not prejudice; it’s more so being a realist.

  Before I call it a week, I wanted to take a moment and give a warning to all of you out there planning on a relaxing, care free weekend. Maybe you plan on heading to a lake, pond, or natural setting. Well, I give you this warning: beware of beavers. That's right, a dolphin will rape you, but a beaver will fucking kill you! A man in Belarus was bitten by an angry beaver, severing his femoral artery and causing him to bleed to death before he could get to help. Here is the terrifying video proof that nothing will ruin your weekend quicker than an angry beaver:

  That’s all I’ve got for the week, folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers.

  Hello Gabbers, and welcome to this week’s edition of Sexy Action Sports Saturday with your old pal IHM. This week, we’ve got quite possibly the greatest spectacle in all of sports, the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament.

   I don’t know if it’s the gambling, the brackets, or simply the volume of games and action that take place seemingly simultaneously for the first two days of the tournament, but for my money, there is no more entertaining two day period on the sporting calendar. That was evidenced yesterday, when Florida Gulf Coast murdered every single bracket in existence (I’m sure one or two people out there picked an ALL UPSET bracket, so they’re still good) by beating 2 seed Georgetown in convincing fashion.

  My bracket was all but busted after the first day, mainly due to Davidson shitting the bed in the last seconds against Marquette. I’m not going to call any of the kids on the Davidson team out, mainly because they’re unpaid, amateur athletes that don’t deserve the scrutiny they do get. I mean, the kid that threw that inbounds pass (not sure on the name, not going to look it up either) probably got all kinds of shit once they got back to school, and is probably STILL getting it. That’s what really makes me sick watching the tournament, or any college sport in the first place.

   Watching the tournament, seeing all the ads all over the place and the hundreds of hours of advertising space that will be paid for, you really have to feel for these kids even more. These are, for the most part, kids that don’t really come from wealthy families. Usually middle class or less. No, college basketball  doesn’t require kids to stay two or three years like college football does, but look at the difference between professional basketball and professional football. In football, you at least have a 45-man game day roster… in the NBA, it’s a third of that. That means more than 80% of the kids you’re watching this weekend and over the next two weeks will never see a dime from playing basketball. The schools and the NCAA and even the networks that show the games will make millions, just like they do for college football.

  I say it’s about damn time we start compensating these kids. At least give them a $20,000 salary for playing division one ball. No, I’m not saying every sport should be compensated. We all know that college football and college basketball (MENS) are the only two sports making any fucking money out there. But I don’t think it’s too much for an organization making hundreds of millions, if not BILLIONS of dollars off the backs of these young men to shell out a minimum salary, on top of the “free education” they get. Make it universal, so no team gets an advantage over another.

   There is one thing that makes me smile about the tournament… the fact that ESPN hasn’t been able to get their grubby little hands on it yet. Today, while CBS, TBS, TruTV, and TNT all show third round games, ESPN will be showing men’s NIT games and women’s tournament games (insert footage of me pointing and laughing here).

   Newly signed Pats Safety Adrian Wilson has an interesting offer for current Pats corner Kyle Arrington in order to get the jersey number he’s had his entire 12-year NFL career… a full year of diapers for Arrington’s newborn. Honestly, I say Arrington is getting lowballed here. Hell, Rick Porcello got 10 grand for the number 48 from Torii Hunter (which was donated to charity in his name). I say Wilson needs to step his game up a bit to get the number 24.

    Anybody need a left tackle? The Chiefs are apparently shopping Branden Albert for a second round pick this year and a pick in next year’s draft as well. GET ON THE FUCKING PHONE, MAYHEW!

   The Pistons gave their best shot to the Miami Heat last night, but were unable to stop the Heat’s near-record win streak at 24 games. The Heat now sit at 25 consecutive wins, 8 shy of the NBA record held by the 71-72 Lakers. The Pistons actually led at the half, but the Heat simply stepped it up in the second half and outclassed the Pistons the rest of the way. During the game, Pistons G Kim English played about 11 minutes. In those 11 minutes, he scored zero points… and fouled out! Shockingly, this was the third time a player has recorded a 0 point, 6 foul night this season.

   Just 9 more days til Opening Day people. Next week, I’ll get some predictions and previews ready for the start of the MLB season.

  That’s all I’ve got for today folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out.

  That's right folks, here we are three days into free agency and all of Detroit city is drinking that Honolulu Blue and Silver Kool-Aid! We got Reggie Bush... we got Glover Quinn... we got Houston and Delmas back... all right. We'll be running that football next year with Bush, and Quinn and Delmas will be locking down the back end of that defense. Unstoppable... next stop... Super Bowl... Even Bill Polian says we're going to be the "Greatest Show on Turf"!

  And here's the reality; we signed a thirty year old running back to a four year contract, re-signed a corner and safety from a secondary that sucked out loud last year, signed a new safety, lost our starting left tackle with Backus retiring, lost our starting right tackle with Gosder Cherilus signing with the Colts, and now reports are that Lions' brass is not even sure Reiley Reiff is the future at left tackle. Oh yeah, and we cut our starting RG before free agency started.

  As it sits right now, the Detroit Lions have many massive holes to fill. First of all, you still have no pass rush. Cliff Avril, a guy who represented what little bit of pass rush ability you had on the roster, took less money than what you offered him last year to go play for Seattle. Bye bye... don't let the door hit you on the way out. Letting him walk wasn't a huge deal. But pair that with the fact that you blew most of your free agency cash on an aging, underachieving running back and a safety with all of one year of starting experience under his belt, and now we have a fucking problem. You still need starters at the following positions; WR, LT, RT, RG, DE (2), LB, CB, K. That's right, our "face of the franchise" Jason Hanson is still gone. Fucking pathetic.

  Don't fool yourselves, people, signing Reggie Bush isn't getting this team any closer to a Super Bowl. This team has no offensive line... you could have signed Adrian fucking Peterson and it wouldn't make a Goddamn bit of difference. When your entire right side needs to be replaced, on top of the left tackle position, you are fucked no matter who you have lining up at running back. Oh yeah, Reggie Bush is going to open things up for Calvin Johnson... bullshit. There is nobody else in the receiving corps aside from Calvin Johnson. They can still double and triple Johnson and keep an eye on Bush, there are ZERO threats on this team otherwise. Ryan Broyles... he's a fucking cripple. Nate Burleson... see Ryan Broyles. Brandon Pettigrew, the waste of a first round pick on a tight end, he drops more passes than Kate Upton does jaws. This team is a fucking joke, and that's just the offensive side of the ball.

  On defense, you have Suh and Fairley up the middle, Houston at one corner. If he's your #2 corner, that's great. No, he's your #1, and you're paying him like a #1... that's the only reason he's still a Detroit Lion. There is literally nobody else on that defense even worth mentioning... and I'm not going to waste any time discussing it. Delmas is a fucking bum, even when he's healthy.

  If the Detroit Lions are not picking in the top ten of next year's NFL draft... either they traded their first round pick for a bag of magic beans, or they're picking #11! Right here and now, I'd like to officially announce that I do not give a fuck about the Detroit Lions in the year 2013. Will I have a fucking aneurysm if they draft a wide receiver in the second round again? Probably! Will I still rant and rave about whatever the hell they do in the draft... definitely. I would LIKE to announce that I don't care anymore and fuck the Lions from here on out... I just can't! I'm like Lil' Wayne on PCP with this team... just can't kick it.

  So, I'll throw my official 2013 Lions prediction out there... 6-10, miss the playoffs, take last place in the NFC Norse Division, and draft somewhere in the top 12 once again. Oh, and after the season, both Mayhew and Schwartz keep their jobs... same with the coordinators... why not? Fuck it.

 Speaking of things I am trying not to care about, how about that new pope? Yeah... I have just as much authority as the new Pope does... I just don't have as many people that believe it! The great George Carlin gets credit for that, but he's 100% right... aside from Catholics, who gives a shit about the Pope?

  I will give those crazy Catholics some credit... it was kind of cool to watch the media having a shit fit because they had to wait just like the rest of us "common folk" to find out who the new Pope was going to be. The secrecy and lack of leaks to the media were just fucking great. Is it just me, or does the media seem like a bunch of self-important, over-entitled bags of shit these days? They kept a lid on the identity of the new Pope as if it were a molested child trying to point the finger at one of them. Hell of a job gang... if there is one thing the Church knows, it's keeping things covered up.

  Looks like Notre Dame couldn't wait for the NCAA tourney to debut the worst uniforms in the history of sports... they donned them Friday night in the Big East tourney while losing to Louisville. I swear I turned off the TV and still saw those damn things for half an hour after.

  The Detroit Tigers became the first victims of the Biogenisis scandal, as AA pitcher Cesar Carrillo was suspended 100 games by Major League Baseball for violating the Minor League Drug Prevention Program. Why is this significant, you ask? Carrillo was the road roommate of Ryan Braun at the University of Miami. Looks like Braun could be next in Major League Baseball's crosshairs. Hopefully they put him down for a good, long while.

  That's all I've got for the week, folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers.  

  Happy Saturday Gabbers, and welcome to Sexy Action Sports Saturday with your old pal IHM. Not a whole hell of a lot going on this week in the world of sports. Spring training is interrupted with the World Baseball Classic, the NFL is preparing for the draft and free agency, and college basketball is winding down to tourney time.

  The big story today is the episode on ESPN's First Take between Seahawks CB Richard Sherman and ESPN commentator Skip Bayliss. If you haven't seen it, here's what I'm talking about...

  Long story short, dude goes into a confrontation with Skip Bayliss and HE comes out of it sounding like the jerk! Jesus! Look, we all know Skip Bayliss has had this coming for a long time now... but Sherman just seemed to walk into this thing with a vendetta! He starts out by telling him "when you address me, address me as Richard Sherman, All-Pro and Stanford Graduate, two things you will never be able to achieve". Then he tops it off by coming right out and saying "I'm better than you. In my 24 years of life, I'm better at life than you". For once, Bayliss comes out of something looking like the good guy... Sherman comes out looking like a petty tool. FYI Sherman... it's CREATON, not CREANTON, Stanford grad.

  So what say you Gabbers... who is the bigger asshat here? My vote goes to Sherman, but be sure to cast your vote in the comments below.

   Masters champ Bubba Watson bought Tiger Woods Florida home this week... yeah, THAT Florida home, where he "allegedly" wasn't beaten down by his ex-wife for "allegedly" being a man whore. My biggest question, of course, is why the hell would you want Tiger Woods old house? Gotta be some bad juju floating around in there...

  Other news out of Florida has the Tigers shopping around for closers. Seems like the kind of thing they should've taken care of already... you know, during the offseason when there were some free agents out there. Hopefully they can find someone who'll take Rick Porcello for a closer. Hell, throw in a decent defensive short stop and you can have the corpse of Johnny Peralta, too!

  The Lions have a big couple of months coming up if they're going to get back on the right track... and to be honest with you all, I am terrified! Hopefully they can get a corner or two in free agency, there are quite a few good, still fairly young corners out there on the free agent market, and use the draft to beef up the defense and offensive lines. I honestly hate that #5 overall pick... really wish they could find someone to trade down with, and pick up an extra second or third round pick in the process. Probably won't happen... but it'd be nice to see.

  Not to put a whole lot of stock in the World Baseball Classic or anything, but if you're the Blue Jays, you have to be a bit worried about R.A. Dickey so far this spring. He got shelled by team Mexico, and hasn't been in 2012 form so far during the spring, either. If the Jays plan on making this thier year, they need Dickey to be in top form at the top of that rotation. Especially with all the money they've put into him.

  Props to the Zags on finally reaching that #1 spot in the polls. So far this year, it has been more of a curse than anything, but it's good to see Gonzaga finally get there. Never see it in college football, that's for sure.

  Before I go for the week, here's a little something I think you're going to enjoy. Remember good 'ol Casey Kasem... America's Top 40 announcer and the voice of Shaggy on Scooby Doo? Well, here's that sweet old man going ape shit on a variety of things...

  That's it for me, Gabbers. Have a great weekend, and thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out.

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this week’s edition of Sexy Action Sports Saturday with your old pal, IHM. Well, it’s been an interesting week in the world of sports… that is, if you find lying, cheating, and quite possibly being the dumbest human being on the planet to be interesting.

   Before I really get started on the two most obvious topics of the week, I would just like to get a thing or two off my chest here up front. Honestly, I do not give a flying fuck about Lance Armstrong, the sport of cycling, or his having one testicle. As for Manti Te’o… I don’t care how many imaginary broads he wants to finger bang through their fuzzy pink panties… whatever he does off the field, short of murdering someone, I could not possibly care less. Especially with something as stupid as this “catfishing” thing. Honestly, the whole thing stinks of a publicity stunt by MTV that Te’o will be paid handsomely for later on!

  To expand on the Lance Armstrong thing… we all know cycling is a crooked sport. The only reason we don’t give two shits about the rest of the cyclists in the world… they never won seven in a row. It’s not so much who has the most ability… it’s who has the best chemist behind them. Armstrong represents the sport well… he’s full of shit, a liar, a cheater, and light in the sack. Fuck Lance Armstrong, fuck the sport of cycling, and fuck Oprah! What a pussy way out. Go on the softest talk show in the world and spill the version of the truth you think we’ll buy this time around. The thing is… he had nothing to prove to me, no way of “winning me back over”… I never gave a flying fuck about him in the first place. Take your lies and your phony sport and shove it up your fucking ass, Lance.

  As for all this Manti Te’o shit… this guy was either in on it longer than he’s letting on or he’s the dumbest motherfucker on the planet. Either way… it’s going to hurt his draft stock worse than being treated like a prison shower toy by Alabama in the national championship game. Did the whole thing really hurt anybody? Not really… got Te’o more press than he would have received normally as a defensive player with the whole “dead grandma, dead girlfriend on the same day” deal during the Michigan State game.

  There are quite a few theories out there… but one that I haven’t heard a lot about is the theory that this is all a big “cover up” to Te’o’s possible homosexuality. Again, personally, don’t care who he wants to bag at night behind closed doors. But, as we all know, a football locker room… especially a football locker room at a heavily Catholic university… probably isn’t the most tolerant of places. Let alone the NFL, which has been his aspiration since leaving Hawaii for South Bend. The thing is… if this was a simple hoax and “cruel joke” played on Te’o, why keep it a secret this long. Sure, being duped by some douchebag back in Hawaii is embarrassing… but why would the University AD become involved with the cover up… why would Te’o continue to play along with it… even giving interviews and mentioning his dead girlfriend after he allegedly “found out” about the hoax? Like I said, it might not be very likely, but it certainly would make a hell of a lot more sense than the fact that he is just too embarrassed or too stupid to figure it out until now. So is Manti gay… perhaps he is… NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT…

   Just seems like we don’t yet have all the facts on this one… and that a bombshell is on the way sometime between now and April’s draft. The best thing that Te’o can do at this point is come clean with EVERYTHING… make sure there is no single detail that someone else can bring out later to hurt him again. If the young man is honest and forthright with the remainder of the information remaining in secret with this case, maybe he saves some face and lands in the second round of the draft next April. If not, I can see him sliding into the 3-4 round range… classic victim of the “character flaw”.

   Speaking of suspicious… how about Chip Kelly? Mr. “I’m staying at Oregon” suddenly flies the coop and takes the NFL job with Philly. Be glad, Browns fans… you dodged a major bullet by not hiring Kelly. Look at the offense he runs at Oregon… it does not translate to the NFL. It depends on having guys that are two times faster than the opponent, on being able to just run past people. In the NFL, the playing field is much more level in terms of speed… just isn’t going to fly.

  What you really have to wonder is what is coming Oregon’s way to make Kelly change his mind so quickly. Is he pulling a Pete Carroll? Taking off just in time to avoid any penalties? Or did he legitimately just want to test the NFL waters? I suppose only time will tell… but we all know Oregon dodged a major bullet when the Penn State scandal broke last year, because it took the spotlight off of them just when things were heating up. Seems like the NCAA might just have found their way back to the Ducks. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear about a two or three year bowl ban upcoming for the folks in Eugene, Oregon.

  As for anybody out there that might care… the NHL season kicks off tonight. Me, I’d rather go watch the replay of the Lance Armstrong interview. Hey Sully… think they’re replaying that SEC title game again? How can I get in on that?

  That’s all I’ve got for the week, folks. Thanks for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers.