Hello Gabbers and welcome to another fun filled Saturday here at yougabsports.com. Oh yeah… this is the biggest weekend of the year in professional sports. No, they didn’t move the Super Bowl up a week… but we’ve got ourselves a good old fashioned Pro Bowl coming up on Sunday. But, no Ravens, no 49ers… they’ve got to rest up for the biggest spectacle in all of sports… the NFL’s championship game… the Super Bowl.

Of course, I am being sarcastic, and nobody, anywhere, gives a damn about the Pro Bowl. Might be cool for the guys who get to go on a free trip to Hawaii out of the deal, but to everyone else on that roster it becomes more of an obligation than an exhibition for the fans. The question is, why not just get rid of the damn game? Why not give an event to fans in every NFL city, rotate it year by year, and have the NFL’s All-Star or All-Pro teams travel and do a fan-fest type of event, sign autographs, have the old-school style QB Club type competitions, just a few events of the sort for entertainment purposes, and call it good? The truth is, nobody wants to get hurt in the Pro Bowl… nobody is going to hit, nobody is going to play hard… just stop it already. If the Sherriff does one thing right during his tenure as NFL Commissioner, it will be eliminating this pointless game from existence.

As for Lions news this week… there should be none. Should, but unfortunately, the Lions still employ an idiot by the name of Titus Young Sr. For those of you that didn’t hear, Young spent the final seven games of the Lions 2012 season suspended and on “injured reserve” after allegations surfaced that he was stealing routes from other players, disrupting plays in order for an opportunity to get more touches. After the final game of the season, it looked as if Young was done in Detroit, that he would either be released or traded if the Lions could find anybody dumb enough to give up a draft pick for this pile of garbage.

But, Young brought his parents into town and somehow managed to kiss enough ass for another shot. After that, things were quiet on the Titus Young front for about a month… until Wednesday rolled around, and he felt the need to take to the twitterspehere and send out these beauties:

“My first year I played football I was the best… It’s true I could be a lot better, But wit the football My first year I was a captain Lol.”

“Like I said I never been selfish but if I’m not going to get the football I don’t want to play anymore”

“Never have I ran the wrong route, just put my self where the ball was going”

Apparently this was not enough to keep Titus Young Sr. satisfied. Earlier today or late last night, not sure which, he decided to fire off a few more beauties, likely in response to Jim Schwartz response that “Every offensive player wants the football, and there are good ways to go about getting that and not so good ways about trying to get that done. This is a pretty good example of a not-so-good way. We obviously have some ground to cover there.” Way to send a strong message, Schwartz. This is a guy who has been suspended three times by the team since being drafted in the second round of the 2011 draft, once for taking a swing at teammate Louis Delmas, and twice for repeated insubordinate behavior. Earlier today Young had a few more tidbits for Lions fans:

“Oh I’m not done, if y’all going to cut me let me go. I’m tired of the threats.”

“Never needed the money Give me a dollar and a ball bet I come back #HallofFame”

So, to recap, he’s not selfish, but he’ll quit if he doesn’t start getting the ball. He never ran the wrong route, he just always ran to where the ball was going to go. He’s also tired of the “threats”… none of which I have ever heard coming out of the Lions’ organization. Oh and even classier, he drops some “N” bombs on Lions fans responding to his idiotic tweets. #HallofFame” indeed.

The biggest shame of it all, he becomes yet another wasted 2^nd round pick by Mayhew and his staff. At this point, he’s probably not even going to bring a 6^th or 7^th around pick, so give your fanbase some kind of sign that you aren’t just going to keep putting up with shit like this and cut his ass ten seconds after teams are able to make personnel moves once the Super Bowl is over. Better yet, see if the Jets will give up Revis for Titus Young and a second or third rounder! Based on the fact that they actually traded for Tim Tebow last year, they might just be that stupid (although they are now under new management).

As for the Super Bowl, at the risk of going ad nauseum (because nobody wants that) with this thing, the only thing I really have to say about the game is that I hope Ray Lewis goes out the loser he is. Suddenly he’s a “man of God” despite the whole 6 kids with 4 women thing… not to mention that whole murdering issue he once had. But hey, he bought his way out of it, so who cares, right? Kind of like nobody caring about Hillary Clinton and the whole Libya thing… yeah, a couple people died… but that’s the past. LIVE IN THE NOW.

If you’ve ever wondered why I’m not a soccer fan… this kind of story is exactly why. 21 soccer fans in Egypt were sentenced to death for their role in the February 1^st soccer melee that killed 74 fans of an opposing team. After the verdict was read, another fucking riot ensued… this time 27 people were killed, including two soccer players and two cops. Seems like a lot of shit to deal with because six guys want to kick a ball back and forth and maybe put ten shots on net for two fucking hours.   

The big story in baseball this week was the Braves trading for Diamondbacks OF Justin Upton. The Diamondbacks got a decent haul of prospects in return, though not as good as Seattle was offering, in exchange for the troubled but potential filled young outfielder. On the plus side, they were able to deal him before they got what they did back for Chris Young… which was fucking Cliff Pennington! Ouch.

Personally, I’ve never been all that enamored with Justin Upton. He has potential… so did Rick Ankiel, and he wound up being as much of a fucking head case as Upton is. Not only that… his stats just don’t scream up and coming player… they scream that this guy has already plateaued and is heading downhill. This is a guy that might be a 20/20 player… he’s never driven over 100 runs in a season… his career high in steals is 21… his career high in caught stealing is 9, the same year he stole 21. He hit 31 home runs in 2011… and followed that up with 17 in 2012. Is he an awful player… no. Is he a “franchise player”… hell no. He’ll be a nice role player on the Braves, and it will give them a good outfield for the next few years with Upton joining his brother B.J., and of course, Jason Heyward, who is the real gem of this outfield. I’m sure Braves fans are excited about the acquisition… personally I’d be a little bummed out about it if I rooted for the Braves. Looking forward to BDub’s comments on that Monday.

Looks like A-Fraud might be out for the year following hip surgery. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

Last week, I posted before I had heard the news of the passing of Stan Musial. Just a sad, sad day for baseball losing one of its all-time greats. Stan truly was “the Man”, on and off the field, and was always a class act and a great ambassador for the game. One of the few remaining of what may have been the greatest generation of baseball players we will ever see, Musial will be greatly missed but certainly never forgotten. RIP Stan The Man Musial.

Before I go, I’d like to welcome my new Saturday partner SunTzu4m into the mix. Look forward to working with you buddy, and welcome back to the Gab.

That’s all I’ve got for the week folks. Wish me luck as tomorrow, I take to the lanes to try and beat my brother, AFD in a game of bowling. Being as how I haven’t bowled in two years… probably won’t end well for me! But, it’ll be a good time. Hope you all have a great weekend, and thanks for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out.     

   Well folks, it’s Saturday once again, so by all forms of logic that would mean it’s time for another edition of Sexy Action Sports Saturday with IHM. This week, we’ll talk some college football, MLB, NFL, and even touch on the dead sport we once knew as hockey.

   Just a dozen games remain in the baseball season, and we still have some playoff spots up for grabs. The AL East is yet to be decided, but the Yankees seem to be getting it together just in the nick of time. They’ve taken a one game lead over the pesky Orioles, while the Rays have stumbled and fallen to 6.5 games back. The A’s and O’s lead the Wild Card race, with the Angels, Tigers and Rays all but eliminated with such little time left to make a move. Barring a collapse by either team (Oakland and Baltimore), your AL playoff bracket should be all but settled. In the Senior Circuit, all the divisions are all but decided, with the Wild Cards still up for grabs. The Braves and Cardinals lead the way, with the Brewers, Dodgers and Phillies all within three games.

   The Tigers had what has become a typical week for them… dominant at times, shitting the bed every other day… kind of summarizes the whole season really. Last weekend, they took the first two games from the Indians and had a chance to pull even with the White Sox before that key Monday matchup… looked like they had the sweep in hand until they turned the game over to the “closer”, Jose Valverde, who responded by allowing two runs on four hits, getting one out and probably flushing the entire season by giving the Indians a walk-off win. The next day, Doug Fister went out and laid an egg against the White Sox, and instead of being tied for the division lead, you’re three games back. Face it, this team does not deserve a playoff spot… and they wouldn’t do much even if they DID make the playoffs. No pitching, no defense, you’re not going anywhere in the postseason.

  Now, the real question becomes, is this underachieving, or are the Tigers simply exactly what their record and results indicate? In my opinion, to quote Dennis Green, they are who we thought they were. Poor defense, poor pitching aside from Verlander/Scherzer, and three out of nine guys in your lineup that are anything but average. Aside from that, you have guys who you’re lucky to get .250 out of for a full season. Prince Fielder… exactly what he is… a guy who hits .300 at best, and gives you solid RBI production and a bit of power. Not somebody you want to give a 9-year, 200+ million dollar deal to. The Tigers overpaid, and this is pretty much what they can expect to get for their investment the next eight seasons. Not that he’s a terrible player by any stretch, just not quite the guy you want to sink that much of an investment into when you have so many other holes on your roster.

  To be really honest, I am hoping they miss the playoffs this year. If they do, Leyland, Dombrowski, the whole administration needs to be blown out the back door. Something has to change around here. Leyland has lived off a 2006 World Series appearance for seven years now. His goofy lineups, his adamant demands that you not question his lineups, his preferences towards players that hit .200 and commit errors on defense, and his lax attitude for the 162 game season are all reasons why he needs to hit the road. As for Dombrowski, all you need to do is look at the Tigers minor league roster to see why he needs to be gone, as for the entire scouting staff. The definition of insanity is to repeat the same actions but to expect a different result. If Mike Illitch wants a championship, the past seven years should teach him that the team of Leyland/Dombrowski just isn’t going to get it done for him.

  A lot of talk this week has been about the AL MVP race. Mike Trout has been the favorite most of the season, but Miguel Cabrera has heated up in a big way the past month and a half, actually overtaking Trout in the race for the AL batting title. As it stands right now, here’s a look at the stats:

Cabrera: .333, 41 HR, 130 RBI, .398 OBP, .613 SLG, 102 R, 4 SB.

Trout: .326, 28 HR, 78 RBI, .395 OBP, .560 SLG, 120 R, 46 SB.

  Just looking at pure, old school numbers, Cabrera is a hands-down winner. But, when you consider the cases of Trout and Cabrera, you really can’t make any kind of fair comparison. Both play very different roles on their team. Trout is a leadoff hitter, and therefore does not get as many RBI chances as Cabrera does (although the Tigers don’t get too many people on base for Cabrera anyhow). What offensive statistics don’t show is how invaluable Trout has been in the field for the Angels. He plays gold-glove caliber defense, while Cabrera is an average at best third baseman. A lot of people going into the season were concerned with Cabrera’s defense… count me as one of them… but he’s actually been surprisingly sufficient there. I can’t recall a single game the Tigers LOST because Cabrera made an error… but I can recall quite a few balls getting by that would not have gotten by your average Major League third baseman. But when you consider Cabrera’s production at the plate compared to most Major League third basemen, it’s a trade off you just deal with.

   Another factor is how they’ve played down the stretch. Trout has fallen off a bit the past month and a half, and Cabrera has taken off, hitting .364 with 8 HRs and 21 RBI in September. Trout has hit just .274 with 3 HR and 4 RBI (again, you still have to consider his spot in the lineup on the RBI totals). When you look at THIS, Cabrera is a clear cut winner.

  But then you run into two pretty big problems. First, and probably foremost, Trout plays in LA, Cabrera plays in Detroit… so you have the big market media bias working in Trout’s favor. Second, you have the apparent bias these days with “old school” baseball stats. Home runs, average, RBI… not as important as WAR, OPS, and whatever other crap the saber-metric nerds want to throw at you. Two big factors when it comes to voters, both favoring Trout for MVP.

   What it comes down to, in my opinion, is this: Cabrera is quite possibly the best pure hitter in baseball right now. He hits for average, hits for power, drives in runs in clutch situations. But, there are some MAJOR holes in his overall game… and this is where Trout pulls ahead of him in my eyes. Trout, if he were hitting in the cleanup spot, would likely have similar RBI numbers to Cabrera (or at least be up over the 100 mark). Cabrera can be a liability on the basepaths… Trout is on pace to steal 50 bases this season. Cabby’s defense leaves much to be desired… Trout might just win a Gold Glove this year, and makes regular appearances on SportsCenter’s Top Plays. When you take all of this into consideration, and take into consideration the extraordinary numbers Trout has put up being a ROOKIE, I have to give the nod to Mike Trout in the MVP race.

   Now that all the baseball talk is out of my system for the week, let’s get down to some football!

   Last week, the Lions learned what a real team looks like when they traveled to San Fransisco and lost to the 49ers in prime time… this week, they have a winnable game in Tennessee, with Jim Schwartz heading back to the place he got his big break in the NFL. Should be a Lions win… not so sure it’s going to be a blowout by any means, but my pick is Lions 34-24. Is it just me, or is Chris Johnson DONE? Just 21 rushing yards in two games… Jake Locker has outrushed this guy! That’s right, Titan fans… Jake Locker leads your team with 32 rushing yards. Ouch.

   Before I leave the topic, though, I have to give some major props to the San Fansisco 49ers. They really are a complete football team, every aspect of the game. The one thing I noticed last week (and that Collinsworth wouldn’t shut the hell up about), the fact that nobody on that defense misses a fucking tackle. Just a fundamentally sound, solid football team. If they’re not the favorite to win a Super Bowl at this point in the season, I don’t know what the hell they’d have to do to be that favorite!

  The NFL referee situation: just out of fucking control. These hacks we have in place right now probably shouldn’t even be allowed to ref D-3 games… but, as has been said by many here all week, if it doesn’t start to hurt the NFL’s bottom line, it’s not going to be resolved anytime soon. The saddest thing about it in my eyes: the fact that players and coaches actually influence how these guys call a game. How many late flags are we going to get out of these hacks? Every single play it seems a guy goes for a pass, feels he was interfered with, and throws his arms up. Seemingly two or three seconds after the whistle blows, the referee throws a flag. Just ridiculous. That falls on both players and coaches just as much as these refs, though. As for the “real refs”, ask for more money, go ahead. Just don’t act like you are full-time employees of the NFL… you work four or five hours a week… get the fuck over yourselves. How else would Ed Hochuli have time to sculpt those fucking guns?

  As for the rest of my NFL predictions… I’m skipping that so that I can dabble in a new hobby… college football predictions! Here’s IHM’s CFB GAMES OF THE WEEK:

  First game of the week, the mighty Florida Seminoles take on the Clemson Tigers in the ‘Noles first REAL game of the season. They have the “best defense in college football” by the numbers… albeit against Savanah State, Murray State and Wake Forest. Clemson will be their first real test… but they will pass. I’ll take Florida State for the win.

  A couple solid ballgames out West this week, as Oregon takes on Rich Rod’s fightin’ Wildcats of Arizona. Oregon has looked unstoppable this season… because they have played nothing but creampuffs. Arkansas State, Fresno State, and Tennessee Tech… not exactly a murderer’s row. Arizona just barely got past Toledo before shocking Oklahoma State then dominating South Carolina State en route to this matchup. My pick: Arizona pulls the upset.

  Oregon State takes on a UCLA team that is ranked for the first time I can remember in recent years in a battle for the right to be considered the fifth-best team in the PAC-12. Oregon State surprised the Wisconsin Badgers earlier this season… and had their next game postponed… UCLA upset a Big Ten “powerhouse” of their own, downing Nebraska in week 2. I’ll take the Bruins here in a low-scoring, hard-fought matchup.

  Next up, Kansas State travels to Norman to face the Sooners in a prime-time Big 12 matchup. Is this the year Colin Klein gets his win over Oklahoma? I think so… I’ll take the Wildcats in a wild one.

  Finally, in my jinx of the week special, I’m going to need to awaken the Wall-Mart Wolverine inside of me (when you’re born in a Michigan hospital, a chip is implanted into your brain), and give you my pick for tonight’s Michigan-Notre Dame matchup. That’s right people, Denard Robinson is the real deal… not only is he the best athlete in ALL of college football, he’s the best pure quarterback, too… yeah, he’s out there doing more than just playing 500 with his receivers downfield… he’s taking this team places. We could’ve beaten Alabama… but they just weren’t worth it… if Te’o thinks he has pain and suffering right NOW, just wait til “Shoelaces” is done with him… he’s gonna want to go home and jump in a fucking volcano… THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS, I’M TAKING MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAN for the win.

  But the real me want them to lose.

  To wrap up the college football talk this week, I have a question… why the hell do coaches/media members waste their votes on teams like Ohio State this year, USC last year, when it comes to their AP/coaches poll vote. They’re ineligible for the post season, even for their own conference championship game… so why the hell are they even given any votes in that top 25?

  Finally, before I call it a week, I’d like to take a minute and talk about the NHL… namely the former professional hockey league that existed in the North Americas prior to 2012. Look, the fact that players and owners THINK they can do the whole lockout routine again and get away with it is laughable. You are a niche sport… get it. Aside from pockets in the US and Canada, your league is NOTHING. By locking out the players, owners have alienated even the fans who somehow stood by this league through the last lockout, and the one before that. To do it again, when you STILL haven’t recovered from the last lockout, just shows how clueless you really are. I don’t give a damn when, or if, this league comes back, I’m done. From the end of the NFL season to the start of the MLB season, I just don’t give a damn… luckily it’s not much of a layoff anymore!

  As for the players, don’t feel sorry for them… they’ve got jobs waiting for them in Russia, Sweeden, and other leagues here in North America. They can find work… it’s not an issue. Hell, teams in Alberta, Canada are actually filing a lawsuit saying the lockout is illegal under provincial law. So we might just have an NHL season after all… 82 games of Oilers v. Flames. Yeah.

  That’s all I’ve got for the week, folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers. And now, in memory of summer, this:

Hello there Gabbers, and welcome to Sexy Action Sports Saturday with your old pal IHM. It’s F’IN hot around here the past couple of days… 97 yesterday and 95 today… and not exactly the kind of temps you want to be working in a warehouse in. I need to snag my ass an office job PRONTO… assuming that office has AC that is (how many offices have you honestly seen without AC, though). Long story short, I’ve spent the entire week sitting/standing in ball soup, and I’m ready for winter to get here already.

  Well, we’re down to just baseball now, and I honestly couldn’t be happier! The only thing going on this week outside of baseball was the NBA Draft, and, as has been the case for the past three years, the Pistons had the guy they wanted fall right into their laps, this time at #9 overall.

  In the first round, they nabbed Andre Drummond, a 6’11” center out of UConn. The strange thing about this guy, outside of his 29% free throw percentage, is the fact that he actually re-classed himself and played his freshman year of college basketball when he should’ve been a high school senior. There is a pro and con to this… the pro is, you don’t have to expect a lot out of the guy for around three years… the con being, you’re not going to GET a lot out of this guy for around three years. I look at this kid and I see an Andrew Bynum type player… hopefully just a LOT smarter! Bynum didn’t really emerge until his third year, and I expect this guy to develop at around the same clip. Pistons fans, do not expect much more than 10-20 minutes per game out of this kid next season. If you do, you’re going to be disappointed.

   Later on in the draft, the Pistons got SF Khris Middleton out of Texas A&M, a guy I’ve heard next to nothing about, then got Kim English, a solid SG out of Missouri. Not sure about Middleton, but I’ve liked what I’ve seen out of English. He might just end up being a steal.

   Other teams I’d say did fairly well for themselves, New Orleans (hard NOT to do well when you have the #1 and #10 picks) by getting Davis and Austin Rivers out of Duke. I liked Boston’s draft… getting Sullinger and Melo back to back in the first round gives you some good, young size on the bench. I think the Rockets got the most underrated player in the draft picking Terrence Jones at #18, and the Thunder got a good player in Perry Jones III at the #27 spot. Overall, no major surprises this year… kind of a dull draft that went as many predicted.

   Point taken... NBA Draft not very exciting! 

  Hard to believe we’re already so close to the All-Star break in baseball. Good lord, this season did NOT turn out the way Tigers fans expected, same goes for the other heavily represented fan base around here, the Red Sox. But, as we reach the 2012 mid-summer classic hosted this year by the Kansas City Royals (beautiful ballpark, by the way), I’d like to share with you my starters for the game for both the AL and NL. Of course, any differences of opinion can be voiced in the comment section below:

AL

C- A.J. Pierzynski, White Sox- He’s one of the most hated players in the game, but the man is having one hell of a year on the south side. He leads all catchers in RBI, is tied for the lead with 12 home runs, and is hitting .278, all while calling games for one of the surprise best rotations in baseball. Joe Mauer or Matt Weiters could be the backups.

1B- Paul Kornerko, White Sox. He’s been injured as of late, but Kornerko is having another monster season for the pale hoes, and I just can’t find it in my heart to vote against a guy who has been screwed so many times before. Prince Fielder and Billy Butler are my reserves.

2B- Robinson Cano, Yankees. No surprise here, Cano gets the nod again. Despite my hate for the Yankees, you have to respect what this guy has been able to do in his career. I’ll make Jason Kipnis and Ian Kinsler my backups.

3B- Miguel Cabrera, Tigers. Cabrera has had his ups and downs this year, but still third basemen in the biggs with 62 runs batted in. He’s been better than expected defensively as well in his return to third base. Adrian Beltre definitely wouldn’t be a bad alternative for a starter, and Mark Trumbo deserves a spot on the team as well.

SS- Asdrubal Cabrera, Indians. We all know this guy gets it done in the field, but he’s also getting it done at the dish, hitting .291 with 10 home runs, 37 RBI. Jeter and either Andrus or Escobar get reserve roles.

OF- Josh Hamilton, Rangers. This guy is just on his own planet right now. Hitting .316 with 24/69 will get you on just about ANY All-Star team.

OF- Adam Jones, Orioles. He’s putting up big numbers on baseball’s biggest surprise.

OF- Mike Trout, Angels. This guy is putting up phenomenal numbers… much less for a rookie. A true five-tool player, Trout is sporting a .345 average with 8/32 plus 21 steals. Angel fans have a real reason to be excited for many, many years.

  Backup outfielders would be Alex Rios, Austin Jackson and Josh Willingham.

DH- Edwin Encarnacion, Blue Jays. Ortiz got the starting job from the fan vote, but Encarnacion is putting up similar numbers as part of an inferior lineup. Plus, there’s the whole steroids thing with Ortiz, which is why Braun isn’t on my NL team.

SP- Chris Sale, White Sox. This guy is 9-2 with a 2.27 ERA and 94 K’s… and he wasn’t even a starter on opening day. The rest of the rotation is rounded out by Weaver, Wilson, Verlander and Price.

NL

C- Carlos Ruiz, Phillies. A major league high .365 average to go with 11/43 makes Ruiz my choice behind the plate. Molina and maybe Posey are the backup(s).

1B- Joey Votto, Reds. Votto is having another MVP type season. He’s hitting .349 with 14/47. Pete Goldschmidt and Adam LaRoche are the backups.

2B- Brandon Phillips, Reds. Phillips is still the class of the NL at second base, hitting .289 with 10/46. My backup is Jose Altuve of the Astros.

3B- David Wright, Mets. Wright is just behind Ruiz at .364, and adds 9/49 to his stat line. David Freese is the backup.

SS- Ian Desmond, Nationals. Desmond is only #4 among NL short stops in average, but his 13 homers and 41 RBIs give him my vote. Starlin Castro and Jed Lowerie are the backups.

OF- Carlos Beltran, Cardinals. .312, 20/59 out of a guy not many teams wanted to take a chance on.

OF- Carlos Gonzalez, Rockies. .338, 17/56 for a guy who has an MVP award under his belt on a better team.

OF- Andrew McCutchen, Pirates. The Tigers played the Pirates twice this year… I’m glad we don’t play them again because of this guy. He’s hitting .336 with 14/48 and 14 steals.

   My backup NL outfielders are Giancarlo Stanton, Andre Ethier and Jason Kubel.

DH- Melky Cabrera, Giants. BOB, did you think I forgot your boy? We’re playing this thing in KC, so somebody gets that lineup spot, and in my eyes, it’s Melky.

SP- R.A. Dickey, Mets. Dickey is a sure-fire Cy Young winner if he keeps this pace up. Just amazing for a knuckleballer. Gio Gonzalez, Stephen Strasburg, Cole Hamels, Madison Bumgarner, Lance Lynn, and Matt Cain round out this rotation in a tough National League for starting pitchers. A lot of guys having great years in the senior circuit.

  There’s my All-Stars Gabbers, who did I leave out, snub, whatever the hell you want to call it? Let me know what you think.

   Before I go, surprise surprise, another Lion gets arrested. This time, cornerback Aaron Berry, yeah, go back to your broke, miserable lives Aaron Berry, got popped for a DUI. Still waiting for his stupid facebook apology that was obviously written by a lawyer… sure that’s coming soon. Get it the fuck together, Lions.

  That’s what I’ve got for this week, ladies and gents. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend Gabbers.

 (A week late, but a promise is a promise)

   Happy Saturday Gabbers, and welcome to another Sexy Action News Saturday with your pal IHM. To start off, I’d like to thank BOB for filling in for me last week. Had some issues that unfortunately led to me not being able to post, but luckily it’s all done and over with, and we can move along with the program as usual.

   To start off, I’d like to throw my take on the Petrino firing out there, albeit a week or so late! Some people weren’t fans of his firing, some were huge fans of it, myself included. The fact that a man has an extra-marital affair shouldn’t cost a man his job in most circumstances; but when you look at the position Bobby Petrino was in as a head football coach of a major college program, it really DOES mean he should have lost his job.

   As a college football coach, especially at this level, you need to be able to pull in elite-level talent. You can be the greatest Xs and Os guy in the history of the game (and Petrino is FAR from that), but if you don’t have players to execute, you’re not going to win football games. In order to do that, you need to be able to convince a player and his family that YOU are going to be responsible enough to take care of him during his time at your university, let alone yourself. Your job as a head football coach at a university is to be the face of that program. You go into families’ living rooms and pitch yourself and your program, promising to return their young son a well-rounded man… this kind of public embarrassment just makes doing that job even more impossible for Petrino than it already was given his past, and that’s why his ass is gone. Good bye, good riddance… don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

   Honestly, between baseball heating up and these whacky NHL playoffs, I have all but forgot about next weekend’s NFL Draft. I’m used to the Lions falling somewhere in the top ten, this year, they don’t pick til #23. Really, so long as they don’t pick anybody at a skill position and stick with a DB, LB, or LT for the future, I’m happy with the pick. Hell, I might not even bother tuning into the draft til after nine… the first two picks are locked in already and all I really care about is the Lions’ late round pick.

  As for the NFL, I’d like to encourage all of you fine folks here at the Gab to get out there and cast your vote for Mr.Cam Newton of the Carolina Panthers to be this year’s Madden “cover athlete”. He’s a much, much more deserving candidate than this other guy… Calvin Johnson of the Lions. I mean, if YOU were running for such a prestigious honor, he’d vote for you. Honestly, get out there and vote for Newton… this has NOTHING to do with any curse… really. I’m definitely NOT trying to convince anybody to vote Newton just so HE gets hurt (numerous guys), turns into a pussbag (Peyton Hillis), or becomes a jailbird (Michael Vick)… he just deserves it more! Honestly, I say just put the curse to bed, and start putting Madden himself on the cover. That way, he strains a jowell eating a turkey leg, gets run over by his bus… whatever the hell, and nobody’s team gets hurt. Whichever one of these guys gets the nod this year, do yourself a favor… don’t bother drafting them in any fantasy league.

   As for these whacked out playoffs, there are two major stories in my eyes: shitty goaltending in the Flyers-Pens series, and all the cheap shots taking place, and essentially going unpunished. Good lord, Wednesday night they would have been better off taking the extra attacker and just jamming a broom into the crease. I pretty much tuned out when it got to 7-3, started watching the Tigers game. I hate both teams, so I couldn’t care less either way this one goes, although Philly does hold a 3-1 edge at this point. I hope they beat the hell out of each other and neither one gets past round two.

   As for the cheap shots, there are two that stand out to me: Weber sending Zetterberg head-first into the boards in game one of the Wings-Preds series and of course Marian Hossa getting a head shot from Raffi Torres. Zetterberg was able to play again after Weber’s cheap shot in game one, Hossa is still out because of Torres’ blatant head shot in game three. The big difference, both teams on the receiving end are down 3-1 in their respective series.

  I’m not making excuses for the Red Wings here… going into this series, I expected them to struggle against what is basically a bigger, stronger, better Predator team. The Wings are just getting old, to be blunt about it. It’s time for a major re-shuffling of this team… break it up before you fall into the same trap the Pistons did a few years back with the ’04 title team. Aside from Zetterberg and Datsyuk, you can stand to lose anybody on that roster and not be hurting a whole lot for it. They need to gain some size and strength on the defensive side, and a little more speed to play along with Datsyuk/Zetterberg up front. As for Jimmy Howard, he had a hell of a regular season, but the guy just has to prove himself in the playoffs. Down 3-1 in this series, I’ll be surprised if we see a game 6 with tonight’s game 5 in progress in Nashville.

  Overall, most of the series out West are more or less decided. Looks like Nashville, Phoenix, St.Louis and LA are moving on. In the East, we’re looking a little more interesting with three series currently tied at 2-2, and the aforementioned Flyers-Pens series currently 3-1 Philly. One of the best things about playoff hockey, it’s not as clear-cut as other leagues… anybody can win on any given day. Once the Wings are out, I’m just looking forward to some quality hockey the rest of the way.

   As for the NBA… I don’t fucking care. The Heat showed their true colors the other night against the depleted Bulls, acting like a bunch of punks, throwing elbows and cheap shots out there against a Bulls team without Derek Rose. LeBron James is a douchebag… Dewayne Wade is a douchebag… Chris Bosh didn’t even play, and he’s still a douchebag… and no matter what happens in the playoffs this year for them, nobody can take that away from them.

  Speaking of douches and the NBA… Dwight Howard is out for the rest of the year with a back injury. Now maybe we can go a full week without footage or quotes of him being a petulant child on the sidelines towards his head coach. What a complete pile of garbage that league is.

  A couple of MLB milestones to celebrate… and one for me to rant about… but we’ll put the best foot forward today. Congrats to the Red Sox and to Fenway Park for their 100^th anniversary this weekend. Amazing accomplishment for one of the best venues in all of sports. Just an iconic ballpark, and baseball wouldn’t be the same without it. As for the Cincinnati Reds, they recorded the 10,000^th win in franchise history today with a 9-4 win over the Chicago Cubs, just the sixth team in MLB history to reach that milestone.

   As for the less-than-celebrated milestone, there was A-Fraud’s passing of Ken Griffey Jr. for 5^th place on the all-time home run list, a list that gets a little less respectable with each new member. Not a whole lot to say on this topic that I haven’t said before… FUCK I HATE THIS FUCKING GUY. I don’t often root for a guy to get hurt… but with A-Roids, I’ll make an exception. Jesus I hope he takes a fastball to the face really, really soon.

   That’s all I’ve got in the tank this week folks. Thanks as always for reading, and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great rest of your weekend.

                      Happy Saturday Gabbers, and welcome to another edition of Sexy Action Sports Saturday with your old pal IHM.

                      Last year on opening day, Dodgers’ fans attacked a Giants’ fan who had the audacity to attend a game at Chavez Ravine donning an opposing jersey. Though it was not as severe of an assault, earlier this week, a man who was WITH a fan wearing Blackhawks gear to a Wings game was attacked outside of Joe Louis Arena. The man, a Dearborn city councilman, was attending the game with his son, a student at Loyola University in Chicago, and two of his sons’ friends, also students at Loyola. The three boys were wearing Blackhawks jerseys to the game. A Red Wings fan followed the group outside the arena, and attacked the councilman, who was attempting to separate the kids from the belligerent fan. The attack happened ten feet away from the family’s car, where his wife and daughter were waiting. The assailant has yet to be arrested, and I hope to hell he gets caught soon.

                    Honestly, the whole thing just makes me sick. First, we had this incident in LA last year, which is just a sad, sad situation. This man took a much worse beating, and suffered a lot more for it. But this happening in the city of Detroit just hits home for me even more. We already have the “Murder City” rap… but I haven’t ever heard of this kind of hostility from fans around here toward opposing fans, and it makes me absolutely sick. Not just for the fans of this city, not just for sports fans in general… but for society as a whole. What in the fuck is wrong with people these days? A guy wears a fucking jersey and you beat the hell out of him? Are we really that close to being fucking animals? People just treat each other like fucking dirt… and it’s pathetic. Even worse when this kind of thing happens simply because somebody had the audacity to root for a team who happened to be playing a team YOU root for. I really hope this guy is caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. While he’s in jail, I hope he gets ass rammed and gets AIDS.

                    The biggest national story of the week has been the Colts parting ways with Peyton Manning after fourteen seasons. There are a lot of opinions either way on this, but I say way to go Jim Irsay. Look, Manning had a nice run in Indy. He won them a Super Bowl, made them contenders every year, and put up some legendary numbers in the process. The guy did a lot for the franchise in his career… and the franchise did a LOT for him. He wasn’t making chump change. Hell, last year he didn’t play a fucking down and still cashed a paycheck every week. Bottom line, no matter how much a guy means to your franchise, you can’t pay a $28 million roster bonus to a guy who is a hit away from possibly being Christopher fucking Reeves. Jim Irsay did what was best for his team and for the fans of that team. Losing Peyton sucks, but you’re in position to grab the second coming of Manning, Andrew Luck of Stanford, at #1 overall in this years’ draft. All in all, you’re not in THAT bad of shape. It’ll take a year or so to transition to Luck, but in the long run you’re better off for it Colts fans.

                    As for Manning, if he wanted to stay a Colt, he could have. Hell, who better to mentor the “next big thing” than the fucking prototype for that position in terms of work ethic, knowledge, and ability to manage a football game? It would have required a pretty big pay cut, but if Manning wanted to stick around and retire a Colt, all he had to do was step up and take the sacrifice. It’s happened many, many times before, it’ll happen in the future. Hell, just today Carson Palmer took a pay cut to remain a Raider next year. But it’s not like Manning is going to hit skid row… he’s already shopping his services to a number of teams. Today, he went to Tebow town to visit with John Elway. Other suitors include the Dolphins, Texans, Seahawks, Redskins, Jets, Chiefs and Cardinals. So don’t worry Manning fans… you’ll see Peyton Manning next year… just in a different uniform.

                    How about the gross story of the week… lawyers for ex-WWE star Hulk Hogan are suing to keep private a sex tape of Hogan and a chick who is reported to look a LOT like his daughter Brooke. Sounds to me like the Hulkster has a case of reverse-Ophelia complex! Whatchya gonna do, sister, when the 4” python and withered, steroid shrunken balls of Hulkamania run wild on you?

                    3 members of the Denver Broncos have been suspended under the NFL’s PED policy, according to league sources. Among the three is linebacker D.J. Williams, who quickly became the first that I’ve heard of to use the now-infamous “Braun defense”, claiming his sample was mishandled. Williams has been suspended for the Broncos’ first six games next year. Glad to see the floodgates that Braun’s bullshit speech have opened have spilled over to other leagues, too.

                    But with all the horse shit going on in the world of sports, we’ve got a LOT of great things too look forward to soon, Gabitants. March Madness is right around the corner, spring training is in full swing, meaning opening day is just a short ways away, and the NFL Draft is also on the horizon, a time of optimism for the teams that inhabit the bottom of the league, and hopes for a hidden gem falling to the end of the first round for others. Starting next week, sports will get interesting again!

                    To wrap things up this week, we’ve got our nominees for the Shut the Fuck Up award. First, there is the obvious favorite, former Saints’ and now Rams defensive coordinator Greg Williams, whose “bounty system” for Saints defenders became public this week. A LOT has been said about this situation already… and I honestly hope the NFL drops the hammer on both the Saints and Williams. The Saints should, at a minimum, lose a first-round pick in 2013 (because they don’t have one this year), and Williams should be suspended for the entire 2012 NFL season.

                    The next nominee is a bit of a darkhorse candidate, I’ll admit, mostly because it is an entire organization… the NCAA. As most of you know, I’m one of the bigger haters of the University of Michigan there is. Hate their fans, hate their traditions, hate their “wolverine piss streak” helmets… just LOVE to hate them. But, earlier this week, current Michigan WR Roy Roundtree tweeted a congratulation to Michigan commit Mike McCray, an apparent NCAA violation because it was a “comment before signing”. Let me just say, the NCAA is a complete fucking farce of an organization… you nit pick at the stupid shit, like this, but the major shit goes down, and you just hope it goes away with time. It’s not okay for a guy to send a fucking meaningless tweet to somebody who is “prospect” at their university, but it’s okay for Colorado to throw fucking sex parties for their recruits? What a fucking joke… my vote this week goes to you, NCAA… but I’d like to hear what the rest of you have to say on the matter before making it official!